Why is Cindy crying? She got a branch stuck in her eye which irritated her sensitive cornea so her tear duct produced a tear to help shed the material from her eye.

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You're so ugly, when yo' mama dropped you off at school, she kissed your forehead and called you beautiful.

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Mom I am so sorry I molested you yesterday. Im not your mom! Phew, wanna go out?

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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why can't helen keller drive? Because she is deaf and blind.

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What do Miley and Billy Ray Cyrus have in common? Half their DNA

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? He was being deporting because he over stayed his visa and is now an illegal immigrant

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, most likely, the chicken escaped from a near by ranch or farm. Upon escaping, he may have simply wandered in the direction of the road, and hence crossed it. Or, with chickens having great curiosity, may have been attracted to something on the other side of the road and felt the urge to explore. Depending on the demographics of the area in which road was in, the chicken had different chances of being hit by an automobile. That's why.

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Knock Knock! Well come on in!

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What's black and white and red all over? A bloody zebra.

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?????????????????????? ????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ...?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????? you mad?

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If Earth is a triangle, then why are trees smart? Because turtles have 4 legs

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Person 1: It's your birthday? Person 2: Yeah! Person 1: Oh.

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Q: humpty dumpty sat on a wall A: yeah right

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Why is Justin bieber gay? Because he is atracted to men

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Why did little Tommy eat an apple? Because he was hungry. Thats why.

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Me: Why are red onions actually purple..? Dad: I don't know Sister: *sarcastic* Well, Why is it rainy in London? Me: ....Because that's the weather pattern.

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(for comedians) I went to a coffee shop the other day. I ordered a coffee then sat down. Behind me there were two people talking. I didn't eves drop because it's impolite so I drank my coffee and left.

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why did the girl break up with her boyfriend? hes gay

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What did the duck say to the moose? Quack

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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What did the collage professor say to the plumber? Hi.

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What's awesome that's awesome that squirts out of a bottle? Ketchup What else is awesome that squirts out of a bottle? Mustard

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Why did the black man pick up a bucket of fried chicken? Because it's delicious.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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