How do you run faster than a cheetah? Cut off its legs.

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What do a cow girl and an orange have in common? They all are fruit, except for the cowgirl.

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Hey babe, are you a refrigerator? -No... Good--'cause I wanna f*ck you so hard. Best pickup line. Always works.

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whats purple and has legs? Nothing, i lied about both

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Q. What is the worlds biggest lie A. I have read and agree to the terms of service ?

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a whiskey sour and a mop.

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scenario: two teddy bears wrestling under water question: how many apples does it take to tussel with a potato answer: 96 becouse pillows dont eat chease

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What's brown and sticky? Molasses.

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What's the difference between a Jew and an apple? One of them is a fruit, and the other is not.

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why should you not go to sleep in public? Because that's how you get raped.

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Three blondes are stranded on an island. They all die from starvation.

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What do you do if you see a black man in your backyard with a bullet wound in his head? Take him to the hospital.

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Do the roar!

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the user is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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How do you make your mom mad? Burn down the house and eat the dog.

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Three midgets walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders whiskey, and the third one ordered water because all three of them had agreed that he would be the designated driver that night.

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What did the sheep say when he broke a leg? Nothing, sheeps can't talk.

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Why does it take women to cum slower than men? Who cares

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Meanwhile in Josh and Dannys apartment....(Danny: I'm finally gonna play amnesia! Josh: You'll die Danny: No I won't Josh: Fine tell me when your done Danny: Ok Josh: Cya 3 Hours later Danny has been stuck in a part. Of the game because he was scared to leave that spot. He builds up the courage to leave there. He sees the monster screams Josh hears runs in the room his character died in the game as Danny has a violent seizure and dies. Josh mourns the death of his friend for years.

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How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb...1 How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb...2

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he won't come anyways.

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What made the lady dance? Bandz!

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Old Macdonald had dyslexia IE IE O

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A man wakes up in the hospital after being in a car accident. He begins to yell "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor hurries into the room to find out why the patient is yelling. The doctor then promptly explains that this was due to the crash severing his spinal cord and rendering him paraplegic for the rest of his life. The doctor after explaining this states he'll never walk again, before leaving the patient's room.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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