A man walks in to a bar, what does he say? Ouch.

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Q: what's yellow and can't use chopsticks. A: corn

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Whats blue, flies with wings, weights over two tons, and has a rocket engine with six eyeballs? *hayball rolls* Moral: Im the one asking you...

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Why couldn't the man make it to work? Because as he was leaving his apartment, he saw a gruesome murder on the street that was part of an ever-growing and evolving genocide. Quickly following this, he broke down into psychological turmoil and wandered aimlessly through the streets until he eventually reached a forest, where he was taken in by a wild boar and raised to believe in boar-gods. The man died peacefully while planting potatoes.

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Why was the brick acting yellow? No, because it's allowed via Tuesday.

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Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? Nope! I'm a person! - SMC Digital

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Too many because they are babies and they don't have the motor skills to properly use a paintbrush.

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Why did the chicken cross the road ( The chicken says) I dream of a world where a chicken can cross the road without having morals questioned.

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-Knock knock! -Who's there? -DEFAX.

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What do a woman and a puzzle have in common? Both couldn't vote before 1920... the puzzles still can't vote

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her: what did your last slave die of? him: syphillis

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How many elbows does a Jew have? 2

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John lazzaro likes dick

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What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Dog Dog wh- wait how did you knock? *mindblown*

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Q: Whats worst then losing your wallet? A: Giving birth to a dead baby.

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A Duck, a Mexican guy and Helen Keller walk into a bar. The bartender asks "What do each of you want?" The duck doesn't respond because is is a duck. The Mexican guy doesn't respond because he doesn't know English that well. Helen Keller does't respond because she is dead.

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so a man walks into a bar..... and says ouch.

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A man walks into a bar. I don't remember the rest, but your mother's a whore.

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What is the biggest lie ever? "I have read and agreed to the Terms of Use"

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Why did the man crossing the busy road die? because he wanted to

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What is the least racist animal? A panda. It's black, white and Asian.

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Yo momma so thin, she admitted herself into an in-patient counseling center for anorexic and bulimic patients.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple, finding a apple in your worm.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops