What do you call love at first sight? A broken heart.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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Chuck Norris doesn't just have a chin underneath his beard. He also has part of his neck underneath his beard.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will have her institutionalized as soon as they find her.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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Whats the difference between a ham sandwich and a dead baby sandwich? I don't stomp on my ham sadnwiches with cleats before I eat them.

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– Hello. Is this a laundry? – Yes, it is a laundry.

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A guy walks into a bar Many people gather around him to see if he is alright and to tell him he needs to watch where he is going.

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Two friends that are 11 years old are fighting with each other, and one of them says, " Shut the front door." The other friend replies, "We don't even have a front door, because we're both homeless, and we're never going to be adopted because we're on an island, that's how we became friends in the first place."

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Why could the black man not fall asleep? The gunshots outside his home in Compton constantly awoke him

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him.

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What is 17 meters, squared? A square.

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What's in a bag of dead babies? Dead babies and one alive baby eating it's way out.

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Why didn't the Mexican kid go to school? Because he was sick.

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Q. What do you call a retarted guy? A. Whatever his name happens to be

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wut did the cow say to the other cow thet's get a moo shake

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A gay man walks down a street before being stabbed to death by a homophobe.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, if you had a pulmonary embolism, you would be too

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Why don't black people listen to country music Because every time they here hoe down the think there wife just got shot No sorry for anybody who's black I luv ya don't think twice I have thirty blk friends

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Why did Nico Bellec not shoot that one guy? Just joking, this is Grand Theft Auto 4 dummy.

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Your mom is so fat, when she sat on a lump of coal she didn't realize she sat on a lump of coal.

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Your mother is so fat that occasionally she'll have more than one serving of preserves on her toast in the morning

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What's worse than getting full-blown AIDS? Finding a half-eaten worm in your apple.

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Why did the rooster die. Because I killed it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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