What do you do when you eat a loaf of bread? You throw it up because your brother made it

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What's the difference between jokes and anti-jokes? Anti-jokes aren't funny.

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What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

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Thomas Hobbes had a happy life. Actually he didnt, he was born prematurely causing his mother to die. Then his dad left him at an early age to the care of an abusive older brother because he was an alcohollic. He did inspire many political beliefs though

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Who is green? Mike Wazowsky.

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A doctor rides in his Mercedes Benz through a rough, poor part of town. He sees a homeless person who is begging for money. The doctor stops and gets out of his car and asks "Ill give you some money if you need it for food". The homeless person then shoots and kills the doctor, takes his wallet, and buys crack.

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Did you see Helen Keller at the movie theater? I didn't either, she's dead.

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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How did little Tommy die? i pushed him into the deep end of the pool

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Q. How do you kill 5000 flies? A. Slap a afraican in the face.

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How do u kill somebody You throw a fridge at him

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Where's Waldo? Nowhere. Waldo is a fictional character. He doesn't exist.

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A man walks into a sporting goods store and pulls out a gun. Then he returns it and leaves.

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a black man and a white man walk into a job interview. neither of them get the job due to lack of skill in the field.

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A: Did you know that cashews come from a fruit? B: Not really. This is an interesting fact. Any other facts you have? A: yes ("A" was lying)

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A baby seal walks into a club

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Knock knock who's thare Your mom She's dead you bitch

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Why was the baby going so fast? It was tied to a bus.

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3 men are walking down a dirt path. One is a retired member of the US Air Force. The other of the Marines. The last one of the Navy. They are arguing about why their respective section of the military is the best. They lose track of where they're going and fall off of a cliff onto the spinning propeller of a US Coast Guard helicopter.

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What's funnier than 1 dead baby? Anything

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how do you make a cow float Give it 10000 balloons

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What did the pear say to the apple? Fred, you delusions are getting worse and i'm getting a divorce.

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knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

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What did the oak tree say to the pine tree? Nothing tress dont speak regardless of the kind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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