Q-What do you call a woman in the kitchen? A- A woman making me a damn sammich thats what.

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. The muffins do not talk or move, because they not living.

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How do you stop an African outlaw who uses child soldiers? Angelina Jolie

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What does a eagle and a bunny have in common.. nothing they're two different animals.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Why the long face?' The horse says 'My alcoholism is destroying my family.'

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What's the difference between ?2 and and 74^3? ?-405242.585786

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How many retarded mexicans can you fit in a smart car? Two.

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Why is Texas so hot? The sun

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1 black guy jumped off a cliff at the same time as a white guy, who fell first? The one who weighed the most.

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What's worse than finding a hair in your soup? Slavery.

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Why the West African Rhino is extinct? They were never Horny

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Friends are like trees, They fall down if you hit them several times with an axe.

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How many mathematicians does it take to count?

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Why was the little boy afraid of Mr.Clean? Because he reminded him of his father who was an alcoholic and used to beat him savagely.

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Do you like fishsticks? Yes I personally think they are high in saturated fats, but to each his own Oh I thought you were asking if I was homosexual

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Sam slept and never woke up again.. Because he followed his dream.

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What's 18 inches long and makes women scream? Crib death.

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What's the difference between a Corvette and a sack of dead babies? I don't have a Corvette in my garage.

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What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? A porcupine has it's pricks on the outside. A BMW doesn't have pricks on it's bodywork, for a multitude of reasons: - it would increase the coefficient of drag, causing an increase in fuel consumption - the pricks would fall foul of pedestrian safety regulations

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How did Pablo get into America from Mexico? He drove here!

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A man died. What was his name? Phil. His name was Phil.

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Theres 3 guys walking and the see a genie. He says hell grant 3 wishes. The first guy asked for sandals. The genie said"I can do that" and he got sandals. The second guy asked for rock hard abs.The genie said,"sure thing".When he looked down, he saw that he had rock hard abs. The third guy asked for a pair of pants."ok" Said the genie. And then he got a pair of pants.

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where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

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What did the astronaut say when he stepped on the moon? Oops, sorry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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