Who doesn't love finding money in your pocket when you go to put your pants on? a rape victim

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what do you call a half dead black person crawling across your lawn..............................stop laughing and reload

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A jewish man walks into a bar because he was thirsty.

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A bar walks into a man... The man begins screaming uncontrollably as the corner of the building is inserted into his anus. Brick by brick, the bar forces its way inside the man's ass, as blood begins dripping down his legs. The man knows damn well it is impossible for such a large building to be contained inside him, but he grits his teeth and forces his ass open wider. His ribs break, his lungs collapse, and his now lifeless body is stretched into the shape of the bar. The bar is almost entirely consumed before the man's skin gives way to the bulging pressure...with an explosion of blood & organs, the shredded remains of the man are slung-shot around the lot where the bar formerly stood. The bar, now soaked in a mixture of blood & organ fluid, reflects upon the failure of its experiment. For the next attempt, a man of far greater fortitude must be used, so that his body does not burst so easily. Only then will it achieve its dream of becoming the first bar to walk into a man.

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how do you get a clown off a swing? hit him with an axe

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Q: why did suzie fall out of the swing? A: because she was a pinecone

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What's worse than being gay? Dying in a gas chamber in the Holocaust.

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Q:Why didn't the Mexican get out of the box? A:Because he liked it in the box.

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What do a Siamese cat and a birch tree have in common? Both exist.

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What worse than rain Osama Bin Laden

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A woman crashes her car into a pole Thier family is suing for a hit and run

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A man works at a brick factory. He is told by his boss that if he is to steal any brick from the factory, he will be sacked. But every day the man steals one brick and puts it in his lunch box to take home and is not caught. One day he has enough bricks to build a house, and he says "When I build this house there will be none left over". The house is now built and while the man is taking a look around he stubs his toe on something, he looks down to see a brick and he sighs, picks up the brick and throws it in the air. There are two pilots driving a plane, one has a dog and one has a wardrobe. One pilot says to the other "I don't particularly like dogs" then the other pilot says to him "I don't really like wardrobes". They then make an agreement and throw both the wardrobe and the dog out the window. Five minutes later one pilot looks out the window out onto the plane wing, and guess what he sees? A brick.

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Geography Teacher: What caused the earthquake of Japan? Me: Godzilla constipated too hard, and it caused an earthquake. Tsunami was the result of his poo. Geography Teacher: then how do you explain the after shocks...? Me: Godzilla shat his pants after the toilet

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What is big red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater.

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Q: What is your name? A: I don't know.

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Yo mama so fat when she dresses in red she looks like clifford the big red dog!

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What do u call a black pope? A poooooopppp!

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What is Megan Fox's middle name? Denise

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when life gives you lemons you make lemonade when life gives you a homisidle brige you clearly have done something to make life angery

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A midget goes up to a prostitute and asks "what’s the worst joke you ever heard?" She replies "probably this one

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Q: Where do you go when its cold? A: A corner because its 90 degrees.

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A priest and a bunch of boys are in a room. They are having choir practice.

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knock knock.. who's there? ted? ted, who? STOP f***ing around, you got cancer!

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You are what you eat, so... Can we not talk about this? Cause for me it's recently been sort of sexual. ... How can it be ?.... Ohhhh, dude, that's disgusting...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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