Starting a Genocide #YOLO

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Why Bono always walk barefoot ? Because he's an asshole.

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A: Knock Knock B: The door is open please come in.

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" ding dong " person in side: wait aren't u supposed to knock knock

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Whats the best way to get to a girls heart? A knife.

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A man finds a lamp and rubs it and a genie pops out and says he'll grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish I had a trillion dollars for which I can buy whatever my heart desires" and poof he gets it. The man says "I wish I had a beautiful wife for which I can love forever till the end of time." and poof he gets it. Finally, his 3rd wish he says "I wish I have my own country for which I can rule as king and become the greatest ruler in history." and poof he gets it.

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Two guys walk in a bar, and they die.

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third guys ducked.

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How many chairs does it take to screw a lightbulb? One, if you have enough lube.

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What time did the tennis start? Tennish

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What do you call a man who's eating thirty big macs ? Hungry.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. I have a gun. What did i do?

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What did the pear say to the orange? Orange ya gonna say hi? What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing, apples can't talk.

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it depressed me to be diagnosed with depression

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If there are 2 narwhals and two apples, why is each of the narwhals happy? Because each is a narwhal.

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Knock knock Who's there Fetty Fetty who? Fetty Wap Hey what's up hello

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A black man and a mexican are in a car. Whos driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had come upon them and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful time. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Why couldn't Cait walk her dog? She's been paralyzed from the waist down since she was 5 after her and her parents got into a car accident and her parents died.

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What can eat, sleep, and reproduce? Not a rock, that's for sure.

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A:Will you be my valentine? B:No

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Why did the black man buy a gun? Because he and his family live in a dangerous neighborhood.

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smug face >:}

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Why was the boy cold? Because he couldn't afford clothing.

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-How do fit an elefant in a refrigerator? Open the door and shove it in -How do u fit a giraffe in a refrigerator? Take the elephant out and put the giraffe in -If the king of the jungle has a meating which animal doesn't come? The giraffe because hes in the refrigerator -How do u cross a lake where aligators and snakes live? U swimm because they're at the meeting

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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