Q: Why didn't Dwight D. Eisenhower play with the silly putty? A: Because he's dead.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he had no arms.

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In soviet Russia - some people were poor.

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw a lightbulb? None, they couldn't cross the border.

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What happens when your dog is bad? A crying dog who has to sleep in the BACKYARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stupid dog....

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69

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What do a dog and a fork have in common? They both have tails. Except for the fork.

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What did the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing

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Ask me any question. Okay, what is your favorite color? I refuse to answer.

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Why was the pirate not allowed into the movie? tickets were sold out

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Is your daddy a thief? Because he stole my wallet.

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Roses are red Violets are violet Why does it go like that anyways? ~Yasmin~

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What happens when you bite the head off of two animal crackers and make them play leap frog? Nothing. Quit playing with your food.

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How does Fred drink his milk? -computer

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To mama's so fat that her escape velocity in her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He got AIDS and died.

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a white guy, a black guy, and a latino guy all walk into a bar. The white man explains how his family is in turmoil because of his alcholism, the black guy shares his affection for crack, and the latino man explains why he shouldnt be here due to illegal immigration. They all hate their lives. Quack

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Why did the little girl drop her school books? A kid jacked her in the head with a brick.

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knock knock who's there? hope

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What happened to the asian when he took viagra? He got an erection.

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How many police officers does it take to secure 3 hooded black men? However many police are on duty.

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What did the docter say to its patient? What?? Im sorry sir you have aids

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he didn't have the guts.

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This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from a young age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena and his Grandfather's lucky medallion and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in a high security prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse and paedophillia. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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