How are a black man, a hispanic man, and a chinese man similar? Believe it or not they all love cantaloupe!

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Why could the little girl not swim? She had rabies.

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? Dead.

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Knock-Knock Whos there? You You who? Yoohoo! is anybody home?!! Well obviously or i wouldn't have talked to you. Idiots these days!

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What's red and has zippers? Nothing, because watermelons can't physically drive without the help of a sheeps spinal cords ... DUH

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a girl had just gotten dumped by her boyfriend over a text message. she got very sad and became suicidal

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Nothing. Johnny is Jewish.

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There was a young boy walking to school. and he found a red hairbrush on the ground. He then proceeded to walk to school. During lunch he examined the haircrush and it looked perfectly normal. A few days later, he decided he was bored with the hairbrush and decided to place it in a tree. A girl found the hairbrush. The end. You just wasted 30 seconds of your life. Ha.

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Roses are Tits Violets are Tits I love Tits TITS!

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An Irishman walks into a club. "Ow, that was almost as painful as that time I walked into a bar."

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what does the pope have against homosexuals a whip

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What's the difference between a dead dog lying in the middle of the street and a dead black man lying in the middle of the street? The physical differences you would commonly expect to be between a human being and a dog.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because I shot him. Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? Because his tail was stapled to the other monkey.

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A kid walked in to a bar, grabbed a napkin, and left

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Depends. Are you applying a lot of pressure and licking in short, round bursts, or are you softly suckling on the treat? Your mouth's pH level is also a determining factor, as the sucker digests at a quicker rate the higher the acid content. To put it simply, there is no correct answer, because the sheer quantity of variables makes it a tootsie-less endeavor. See how I said tootsie-less rather than fruitless? Now that's a real joke.

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Knock, Knock. Who's There? Its Greg. I forgot my keys, can you let me back in?

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a mountainous mound of slain human offspring? There is none, the second is conferred to the subject of a conversation using a highly advanced vernacular.

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What's the difference between a black person and a pizza? Pizza is a type of food.

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What's funnier than shooting a moose? The realization that the moose was Sarah Jessica Parker...

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A man, a woman and their child wen to a restaurant. There was a horse in it and they left. The Holocaust begun

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Why did the kid take the trash out to the movies? Because his mum said take out the trash

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What is better than getting a job? Getting a better job.

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Q: what's worse than getting the flu? A: getting cancer

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What's a fun thing to do on a plane? Make a bolt to the pilot, smash his brains in with a iron pipe and make the plane plummet a few hundred feet with a maniacal laugh until you wake up from your dream and scream at your mother to wipe you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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