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What is small and gives people courage? Certain kinds of illegal drugs

What did one theoretical physicist say to another theoretical physicist? Hey there Bill, how's Nancy and the kids doing?

He walked in a bar

What do you call a guy with no hands working in a hat store? larry

why did suzy get hit by the bus because she got dumped into the road and she had no legs

Why did little Timmy fall down? Because he was shot in the head.

You are basically asking if I care for you, care for me, and if this could put us both in risk... There is no picking at this stage, why would I use you?

Knock knock. It's me, the ratboy genius.

What did the boy do when he was cold? He got a blanket.

The snails are salting one by one Hurrah! Hurrah! They fizzle up until they're gone Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting two by two Hurrah! Hurrah! They melt until there's only goo Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting three by three Hurrah! Hurrah! Some shells and slime is all I see Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting four by four Hurrah! Hurrah! We shaker-salt them even more Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die!

What did the pornstar do after the film shoot? Called her parents and said she had a good day at work as a receptionist at a law firm. She is too ashamed to admit her real profession to them. She then cried profusely.

I just farted, and now I have to Chit!

What's worse than eating poop for your whole life? Nothing really, you've got serious problems if you have another option...

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was mad at it wife.

why didn't the girl show up for school? because she was dead

How much seamen does a gay guy have??? A whole butt load.

What did the flower say to it's friends? I want to kill a Christmas tree.

How come Helen Keller never played professional baseball? Because she was a woman

What is brown and sticky? A stick

A new born baby is left alone in his crib after a long day of playing, He gets taken out of his crib for his first meal with his grandparents, he is excited, His grandparents come in and after the usual praising of the child they sit down for dinner, They are having chicken, His mother puts the spoon to his mouth, He chews it and swallows it, It gets stuck in his throat and he suffocates and dies.

What do you call a Fly with no wings? Dead.

what happened to those kids sandusky raped? who cares

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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