A father of 4 commits suicide. his kids celebrate shortly after.

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what happens when you piss on a dead monkey nothing you just lose the urge to pee O.o

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How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

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How many jews do you need to change a lightbulb? -One.

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A man walks into a bar the bartender looks at the man and says "Hey son you wanna make one hundred bucks?" the man looks at the bartender and says "Im not your son."

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Your Mamas So Fat That When She Jumped Into The Ocean All The Whales Swam Around And Started Sinqinq (We Are Family Even Though Your Fatter Than Me.)xD

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A hipster gets summoned for jury duty. The case is solved promptly and everyone goes home happy.

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A refrigerator.

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whats the difference between a grape and an elephant? the grape is purple

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Three guys went hunting on a rainy day. The first guy slipped.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well why wouldn't it?

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What did Shakespeare say to the software designer? Nothing.

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Do you know what a lion really is? It's an over sized cat.

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What's yellow, long, hard, and moves up and down? A banana in an elevator...

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Q: How many babies does it take th paint a barn? A: I dunno, how hard are you throwing them?

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Whose there? A chicken.

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Why are all teachers stupid? They´re not. Why would you say that?

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What do birds need when they are sick? Most wild animals die when they are sick. However, they can sometimes be nursed back to health with special food and electrolyte solutions in special animal rehabilitation centres.

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ONE DAY THE SKY OPENS AND SUDDENLY Gad: Jews, you are my chosen people! Jews: YAY! GODS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA BATHE IN RICHES AND YOU WILL COMMAND US TO RAID AND RAPE LANDS! FOR OURSELVES! AND EVERYTHING! Gad: Eh... Well, actually I was thinking more like... Jews: YAY WE ARE GONNA CONQUER THE WORLD! GAD IS WITH US NAO! Right Gay? I mean Gad... Cough... Gad: Err, well *cough* suuure, I mean... Jews: YAY! WE ARE GADS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA GET MIGHTY! Moral: "You do not want to be "Gods chosen" people!" Btw, you telling me Jewsus was not a Jew? Hmm?

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Do you know what a third world bathroom smells like? Crap

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yo momma is so fat her doctor recommended a new healthy diet.

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Why did the homeless man kill his dog? Because a drunk rich guy said he'd pay him a hundred dollars if he did.

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Penis.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Interrupting cow Interrupting c- Moo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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