One watermelon said the the other watermelon, "you are looking mighty plump today", the other watermelon didn't say anything because watermelons cant talk

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Lance Armstrong gets on a bike

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Knock Knock! Oh god Johnny, someones at the door! Hide the heroin and bail man, BAIL!!!

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Whats funny about a guy with no legs? I bought him a wheelchair.

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Why did Polly fall off her roof? Because her dad pushed her.

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Why do all black people look the same? They don't you're just racist.

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When Nicki Minaj wrote her song "Stupid Hoe" she was sublimminally talking about her self.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Oh hey Banana what's up? Nothing much. You? Oh nothing, I was just talking to Apple here. Oh hey Apple. Hey.

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What comes out of a zit? Purple poop.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Knock knock. Who's there? I'm sorry I don't know you but I think I might have run over your dog!

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A man gets hit by a car. His family is sad and plans a funeral.

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As he stood in her front yard with a boombox in the pouring rain, she leaned her head out the window with a smile and he was electrocuted.

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Knock Knock Who is there? Orange Orange who? Orange-Banana

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What's so good about being Swiss? Well.... The flag's a big plus

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how do you tell a politician that you hate him? politicians can be female, too.

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. Look at my new shoes.

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A dimetrodon, a pterosaur and a chicken walk into a bar. As they enter, the bartender says "Hold it! We are not licensed to serve dinosaurs." "I am not a dinosaur," said the dimetrodon. "Neither am I," said the pterosaur. "But I am," said the chicken. So the dimetrodon and the pterosaur enjoyed a cold beer each, but the chicken had to wait outside.

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Roeses Are Red Violets Are Blue He's The One For Me And Not For You, And If You Try To Take My Place I Will Take My Fist And Smash Your Face(:

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A guy walks into a pub. He cant walk out because hes blind.

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Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? One holds groceries and the other molests little children.

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How can you confuse a blonde? Give her a calculus worksheet that she hasn't learned how to do.

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How do you milk a cow? Pull on its' utters.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops