Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

A plane crashes on the border of canada and america, where do you bury the survivors? I lied there are no survivors and the bodies were incinerated by burning jet fuel so theres nothing to bury.

How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

What's straight and famous. Ryan Secrest I was just kidding about the stright

Why couldn't the boy watch the DVD about pirates? Because his mother did not understand the importance of putting the disc back in it's case after use, and as a result, has become too damaged for the DVD Player to play.

Why was the Pizza Delivery boy crying? He was sad.

Why aren't fish good at telling jokes? Their neural structure isn't capable of processing languages or creating a method of communicating with humans, thus they both do not know any jokes since they are incapable of understanding the concept of humour.

Q: What did blue say to red? A: Let's make some purple

Why couldn't the man ever reach his dream of becoming a professional athlete? He was pronounced with Alzheimer at a young age and could never remember his dream the next day.

What's worse that tripping over on your way home from work? Finding your entire family murdered

When writing haikus Sometimes, I miscount the syllables See, that line has eight.

wanna hear a clean joke? bob took a bath with bubbles. wanna hear a dirty joke? bubbles was a man :) i heard this somewhere and it made me laugh :)

Why did the black cop pull the white guy over? He was going approximately 52 miles per hour on a 40 miles per hour speed limited road.

what is long, white, and used almost everywhere? there are a lot of things that fit this description, so it would be highly illogical to make a guess.

Two latino men are drinking at a bar. Suddenly, one man falls off his barstool, unconscious. Later that day, he was diagnosed with pancreatitis, and died never having dealt with his severe alcoholism.

Charlie Sheen

What is the difference between a jew and a tree a tree is awesome and a jew is a jew

The Bible

How did they wake up Lady Gaga? They p-p-poked her face p-p-poked her face......!

Bad grammers.

you want to hear a joke? the goverment.

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick!

whats worse than finding a worm in apple? being chased by retards

Why hasn't little Johnny ever had a clown at his birthday party? Johnny is an underprivileged Hispanic member of the community.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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