What did the prosecuting attorney say to the defense attorney? I hate you.

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Q: How do turn water into wine. A: You don't.

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-Have you ever seen an elephant hidden behind a thread? -No. -How come you're seeing it, he's hidden.

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As they went down the hill Jack tripped on a rock, falling breaking many bones including his neck. In all the hysteria, Jill fell too, however she landed on a rock and now has severe dementia. This was all for a pail of water.

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What long black and tasty? Licorice

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A priest, a pedophile, and a child rapist walks into a bar. He orders a beer.

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The man who invented the teleprompter has died at the age of 91. When President Obama heard the news, he was speechless.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your neighbor.

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Why did the plane crash? Because he pilot was a loaf of bread

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When making an Anti-Joke, you click the button that says: 'I have read and agree to the terms of service' What are you called? A Liar.

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Q. What do cows and grass have in common? A. They both moo, except for grass ????????????

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Why is Pawn Stars the best show on the History Channel? Because Pawn Stars is the only show on the History Channel.

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why ya gotta be so rude? cause i can

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have fetal alcohol syndrome."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I kicked it.

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There was an old lady who swallowed a fly. But everything turned out alright, as the fly was dissolved by stomach acid.

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If life gives you melons.. You're just plain retarded.

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What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

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How do you get children to behave? Chop them up.

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A plane crashes in a polish cemetery the authorities have found 2000 bodies

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How does camon Die? He kills himself because he didnt make it into the marine corps

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A man walks outside on a sunny day. Since the sun was very bright, he put on a pair of sunglasses. While this was going on, nothing else really happened and he went on with his day as usual.

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A blonde woman is creating an account for a website when she gets the "enter the following" box. The box says"How are you". She looks down at the bottom seeing the answer and puts"Good!".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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