Why does Marcus keep playing dumb games instead of doing his goelogy. No one knows.

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Why did the purse kill a circus yeast? Secks

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Why was six afraid of seven? A: He just does.

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Knock... Knock... Who's there? AIDS.

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Why did the boy fall of his bike? His mother threw a fridge at him

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What did the bi-polar girl do when she found our her ex-boyfriend was living with another woman? Nothing; she was happy for their new relationship and realized life moves on, in addition to taking the daily appropriate amount of medication prescribed by her doctor.

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Whats big, purple and hairy. Has 4 eyes and 2 brains? Nothing.

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Twelve billion Nero, you puppy dog you hot blooded latino man. Why cant I control it myself?

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What do you get when you cross an orange with a gerbil? A mailbox that lights up when you open it

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Roses are red, Violets are black, Why is your chest, as flat as your back

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a blind man walks across a road. he's dead

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What happens when your first name is Newton? You get nicknamed NEWT

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What did chad do when he found the grape? He ate it.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers The third one is for you

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Why did the girl scream for help? She was being raped.

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why was the cat black it was a black cat

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Yeah, you cant make nukes without certain components which are illegal to come by, you know Iranian Uranium I believe, I still feel pretty ill, if you dont mind, lets change the subject. Say, does the word yellowcake mean anything to you?

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A man was walking down the street and witnessed a car crashed. He was traumatize.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ?... because he was dead

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What did the prostitute say to the nun? It's nice to see you again, Sister.

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A hippie gets on a bus and greets the bus driver in a nice fashion Once the bus stops at his bus stop he thanks the bus driver and gets off the bus

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What did the father give to his daughter? AIDS.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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