A Irishman walks into a bar... he suffers severe head injuries.

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How long is a china man?

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A man walks into the kitchen tells the woman to make him a sandwich and walks out.

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I've got the moobs like jagger.

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Why did the plane crash? There was a horrible mechanical error that caused the main engines to fail.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For a completely legit reason dumbass

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why does everyone hate chris. cause he's a douchebag.

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What do you call two black guys having sex with Paris Hilton? N*ggas in Paris

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What's worse than finding a Holocaust in your apple? The worm

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Ask me If I'am a tree are u a tree? no.....

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how do you make a baby cry? you throw a brick at it's face!

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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What is worse then your car getting hijacked? A 900 pound man eating a Donut.

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It was a dark night, I was walking home from the shops in town, The wind was whistling through my damp hair, My spine tingled and i tucked my hands under my stinking pits. I felt like someone was watching me, I walked faster the breath was warm on my kneck i turned around. It was gary glitter he pulled down my pants and gave me the best sucky i ever had. We kissed and i tasted the cheese from my knob. In all garry glitter has a giant knob

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What's the difference between hot tea and cold tea? The temperature.

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When Michael Jackson was in a dark tunnel, it didn't work when he turned his flashlight. How come? A: Because it was out of battery

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your a vagina says you, you're a tit

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I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

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why did the one handed man cross the road? to get to the secondhand shop.

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God and Allah are having a metaphysical picnic, God says to his fellow deity: "Why do you think so many humans have been killed in our names?" Allah muses upon this for a moment and replies: "Because they think we exist."

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Whats the difference between a soccer ball and a baby? Babies cry when I kick them.

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What do a rubix cube and a penis have in common? The more you play with it the harder it gets.

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Q. What did the pedophile get when he went to jail? A. Exactly what he wanted.

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What did the blonde do when her car broke down? Made a Facebook status about then called animal control.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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