Why can't Bob go to the store? He's dead.

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Why did the man not get home to his loving family? He blew up.

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Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing

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How do you stop a black kid from bouncing on the bed? Put Velcro on the cealing.

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What's white on top and black on bottom? Society

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have chlamydia, and now so do you!

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8

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how do you confuse a blonde? ask if she wants a cake...then rape her

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How do you scare a lawyer? Threaten to kill his family.

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Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Holy shit! I can talk too!"

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Why did the hipster get burned? Because he was a volunteer fireman.

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What"s the biggest Jenga game? 9/11

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You thought i'd be telling you a joke. Turns out im not.. !! haha

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What is the difference between a mom and a dad? One is a mom and the other is a dad. Why couldn't Fred see the board? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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Q: What do AIDS and rape have in common? A: If you play guard for the Lakers, neither will affect you.

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When I find out where you live I'm going to burn down your house, kill your family, and while your crying in you demise I am going to slit your throat.

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Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I`ve got a car behind me. Don`t worry about that you have aids.

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Why can't the orphan play baseball? He can't find home.

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Your mother is overweight. This is largely due to her sedentary lifestyle.

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how do you get a girl of a swing? puch her off! how do you get her friend of a swing? throw a refridgerator at her!

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So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

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Dont be mean Dyslexics are teople poo

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There are 2 muffins sitting in an oven. Neither of the muffins say anything because muffins can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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