Why would a woman be out of the kitchen? Because she is busy working, being outside, resting, or any other activity that does not include food.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why didn't Johnny walk to school this week? He was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down

your mumma so fat she stepped on the weight scales and it says to be continued

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Obama being reelected.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's brown and liquidy? Brown paint.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

WARNING!: THIS JOKE MAY BE OFFENSIVE::: three mexicans wanted to cross the united states borders when they were greeted by a border guard with a gun. the guard tells the three mexicans that if they wanted to pass the border, they will have to do as he says, to which the 3 of them agrees. the guard tells them to go gather a pair of fruits, so like that each of them went their own way to go get some fruits. the first mexican came back with a pair of apples. The guard orders him to stick both of them up his ass and if he makes a sound, the guard will kill him. The mexican obeys and sticks the apple halfway when he screamed. the guard killed him. The second mexican came back with a pair of cherries. The guard ordered the same thing and told him the same thing. the second mexican made 1 cherry and a half when he giggled. So he died also. when he got to heaven, he meets the first mexican. to which the 1st mexican asks, "why did you laugh? that was so easy!" and the 2nd mexican responded, "i giggled because i saw the third mexican coming with a pair of water melons."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

the website says jokes, yet these are all facts.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

whats brown and smells like poop? poop.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the teacher arrive late for class? Because his father had a stroke the night before, and they had to rush to the hospital and because of exhaustion, he missed the bus, and arrived ten minutes late.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a deer with no eyes? It doesn't really matter but I wouldn't actually call anything because they have very sensitive hearing and will probably panic and, being blind, might collide with a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red, violets are blue Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Roses are red my underwear is brown I just sharted my pants

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a black police officer? The drug dealer's inside man.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the man throw his son out the window? His house was on fire

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man bought a white van, He later brutally molested a small boy.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q:How come we have a black man in th white house? A: because we elected him

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do Vladimir Putin and a snake have in common? A central nervous system, to name but one of the many biological similarities.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the Jew go to prison. He slaughtered his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What happened to Kim when she went swimming? She didn't, she doesn't know how to swim.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's black, then white, then dead all over? Michael Jackson

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Bride: "He went to Jared's!!! Ex: "But every Kiss Begins with Kay...."

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why is wood brown Because wood is brown

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Question: What did one lesbian say to the other lesbian at the grocery store? Answer: Will that be paper or plastic?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

There are 5 men in a desert a black man a white man a gay a lesbian and a white woman they have no food or water and haven't had any in 3 weeks civilization is 1 mile away how many people live and which ones They all die you can only live 3 days without water.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops