The awkward moment when you have cancer.

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Q: What did one raccoon say to the other? A: We do not know, as raccoons do not speak any human language. And no human being can understand or communicate with one.

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Your mom.

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Your mama's so fat, that during her last physical checkup, her attending physician informed her that it would be in her best interest to lose some weight before any serious medical conditions arose that would adversely affect her health and well being in a chronic fashion.

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Why did the fireman wear suspenders? To keep his pants up.

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The funniest thing happened the other day, it was like one went like this, and the other went like that, and then everyone laughed... ...Oh, its one of those where you would have had to be there to see how funny it was.

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You know what's funnier than 24? .... 9-11

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There is no I in Pie except for the I

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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What's long, hard and full of semen? A penis

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Knock Knock? Come in.

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Spoiling your fun. Jesus said on the cross, I shall return. Then he returned three days later to say goodbye to his people. Moral: What the fuck are you Åsshats waiting for? The third coming?

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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the top 6 dictators who have died this year Moammar Gadhafi Kim Jong IL Osama bin ladden Saddam Husein Steve jobs Internet Explorer

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Q: What do a dollar bill and a kite have in common A: I dont know

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Q: Why was Sally sad? A: Because she had no arms or legs. Knock Knock, Who's there? Not Sally.

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knock knock come in ok!!!!! ur an elephant oh ya i guess im not suppose to talk!

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What's plastic and kids turn it on... A xbox.

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There was a golfer at the field where people usually golf. he had a golf club. so did the man next to him. The man i spoke of first hit the guy that was next to him with a golf club. Why? because he was angry at the man for shoving socks down his daughters throat and extracted her eyes with a melon scooper. This should not be humorous, the girl got blood and eye juice on her fathers new shoes when she came home.

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Whats small yellow and cant swim? A short bus full of autistic children.

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A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "You know, you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate says, "I know, I was just raped by a group of men who thought it would be funny to humiliate me as much as possible. The bartender then called 911 seeing that a horrible crime had just been committed.

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Wat do you do when you see aomeone bleeding on the ground? Walk away and act like nothing happened

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shut up

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what would happen if every overweight person in america jumped at the same time? they would all get a little exercise.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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