What do you call it when you take cheese that isn't yours? Stolen bitch, your under-arrest!

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey pal, why the long face?" The horse neighed.

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He who laughs last...is not a laughing owl because they're extinct.

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An Italian, a Mexican, and an American are sharing a meal on the Titanic. They all died for the women and children first.

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That maternal figure of yours is of such inadequate intelligence that she cannot fathom that, given a scatterplot with a linear correlation of greater than -1 and lesser than 1 and a reasonably consistent rise over run, a future value along the y-axis can be predicted if following the y=a(x)+b equation.

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What's funnier than a bus full of burning babies? Nothing.

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If Voldemort was gay who would be his partner? Happy potter

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A baby boy and a baby girl are much alike they both taste good

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Q How do you make the fire fighter sad? A Kill his dog

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To mama so old, she might die soon.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Charles Grodin. Charles Grodin who? Exactly.

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whats black and white and red all over? ...a nun in a blender

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What's the best part of having sex with a twelve year old? Watching them cry when they prosecute against you.

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I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle, here is my spout. When I get all steamed up here me shout: Absolutely nothing because I'm a teapot you maniacal psychopath.

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where do you find a dog with no brain? in its grave.

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What do you call a bear with no teeth? A Gummy Bear!!

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One girl said to her friends, "LOL guys wait for me." She ran to a pile of corpses. The girl was about to lose her sanity as she was in denial when her friends had died. She held hands of two of the corpses and smiled and pretended everything was ok.

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Why did Jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Certainly not Jimmy.

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what did the cheese say to the wall? nothing cheese can't talk.

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What Happens when you shoot a deer? It's Dead

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A man sees the doctor. "Doctor, if I hit myself on my head, it hurts, if I hit myself on my arm, it hurts, and if I hit myself on my leg, it hurts as well." "The case is clear. You need to f*ing stop hitting yourself!"

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Finding TWO worms in your apple.

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I'm Jewish

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What body part did German prince Heinrich von Missingpenis lack? His toenail.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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