Yellow People !!

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What's red and on fire? My crotch

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Elizabeth Warren

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Everyone believes in something. If you believe "you'll have another drink," you may be an alcoholic.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He didn't give in to peer pressure.

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how do you kill a Jewish person? you don't that just fucking mean!

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Chuck Norris got hit by a train. It was a very bloody and sad incident and he will be missed.

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melons are berries, tomatoes are fruit, being a smart-ass isn't that good.

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A horse walks into a bar and sits down on a stool. He orders a beer. He drinks his beer and leaves. Life continues on as it was.

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What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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Person 1 - Did you know there is only evidents of killer whales killing in captivity Person 2 - tell that to my uncle Pete... He's deaf

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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What is matt dalys favorite thing in the world? penis

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How did the Mexican cross the border? He couldn't he didn't have legs

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If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Depends. Some are vegetarians or vegans, while most eat a mixture of vegetables and meat.

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If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress? Deteriorate

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven

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A black person went into a store and paid full price for his tv

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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A man walks into a park and presents candy to children. They request more candy and thus are laureded into his van. They are raped murdered and never seen again.

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What's blue, cold and makes people cry? A dead baby

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How do you get your wife to stop nagging? chop off her head

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How do you fit 100 babies in a bucket? put them in a blender. How do you get them out? potato chips.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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