Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Two Holocausts.

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An Octopus walks into a bar and sees that there are multiple people with instruments. The man with the Guitar says "I bet you cant play the Guitar better than Led Zeplin?" So the Octopus plays and he is better than Led Zeplin. Then the man with the Piano says "I bet you can't play the piano better than Elton John?" So the Octopus Plays it better than Elton John. The Last man from Scotland says " i bet you can't plat the bagpipes better than me?" So... The Octopus is playing around with the Bagpipes and they say to him "Hurry Up!" and the Octopus says "Shut up, I'm trying to have sex with it but first I need to get it's pajamas off" (Bagpipes have 8 long things you blow into and they have a pattern that looks like a pajama pattern) hahaha

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A man opens his sock drawer, grabs his socks and puts them on.........He dies 5 minutes later.

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Old Mother Hubbard Went to the cupboard, To give the poor dog a bone: When she came there, The cupboard was bare, And so the poor dog had none. So Old Mother Hubbard was reported for animal cruelty

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What did the Irishman say to the German? "Sorry, do you have the time?"

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Have you ever seen that clown at walmart that hides from gay people?

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Roses Are Red Violets are blue A face like yours belong in a zoo Don't worry ill be there too Not in the cage but laughing at you

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Roses are blue Violets are red I'm bad at poetry Potato

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An Irishman walked out of a bar. A Frenchman was polite. An Englishman had beautiful teeth.

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What is red and does not cry? Half a baby.

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How do you approach a hot guy in the library? Very quietly.

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Whats the difference between a frog?

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What do you get when you cross a pug and a beagle? A cross pug and a cross beagle.

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What did the clinically depressed man get for Christmas? He received many of splendid gifts and a joyous day with his family. He realized that his life isn't so bad after all, and went home with his head held high. He was then eaten by a vicious looking 7.

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Why was the black man eating a banana? Because bananas are an excellent source of potassium.

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Yo mamma's so fat, she should try NutriSystem.

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whats long black, eight inches and sometimes has white on the tips of them? a black mans foot the wears an eight inch shoe.

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roses are red violets are blue shut the fuck up or ill fuck you

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Yo Mama is so fat that she should probably make an appointment with a bariatric surgeon.

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What's long, hard and full of seamen? A submarine.

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Whats green has 4 legs and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree??? A pool table.....

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What did the bartender say to the upset horse? GET OUT OF MY BAR!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer dragged him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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