How many girls does ittake to screw in a lightbulb? Doesnt matter as long as dinner is on the table by 6:00

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Why does an actor enjoy his work so much? Because it’s all play.

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Why is there world hunger? Because you touch yourself at night.

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Dear diary, its day 230, the apple supply's are running low, the doctors are closing in, the dentists have been chanting "its time to go to the dentist" all day, I wont be able to hold them back much longer, help.

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I know Mandarin, He's a good friend of mine

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Roses are red violets are blue I have altimers cheese on toast Srry bout the spelling. I couldn't REMEMBER!

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Why did the cow cross the road? It was escorted by its owner to get to the slaughter-house.

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Person1: wanna hear a joke? Person2: yeah Person1: ok

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Why don't birds cry when they get hurt, lose a loved one, or watch opera? How the f*** should I know.

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Joe: Will you remember me tomorrow? Mack: Yes Joe: Will you remember me next week? Mack: Yes Joe: Will you remember me next month? Mack: Yes Joe: Will you remember me next year? Mack: Yes Joe: Knock knock Mack: Who's there? Joe: See you forgot me already! Mack: No I didn't Joe, I thought you were going to tell me a knock knock joke. :/

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You should read the Terms of Service.

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Every time you log on to a porn site, somewhere a panda cub explodes. BOYCOTT PORNOGRAPHY. SAVE THE PANDAS.

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Nerve endings. Now, lets say we make that sensation of a finger down there vibrate, as your nose (not not your lower parts no no) become twenty times as sensitive, now you are just rubbing your nose right? Try not rubbing it completely off now...

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Your mother is so stupid, she is unable to uphold a steady job and cannot support you financially.

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you ever hear the joke about the rabbi, the pope and an elephant? No? well its a good one...

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knock knock whos there? i dont know arent you supposed to get the door?

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what did the super popular, beautiful girl say to her stalker? i dont know, i wasnt the stalker.

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A man offered a little boy a ride home. He drove the boy home where his father preceeded to beat him senseless.

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What did the man get on his birthday the week before he died? Obamacare

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What did the little boy ask for for Christmas? A new brain, as he has a malignant tumor, he died.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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Your momma's so stupid, her IQ is below average.

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A man is sleeping and is woken up. What does he say? Why did you wake me up

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A chicken crossed the road. It was run over before reaching the other side. by fast asleep

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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