Someone thought that an onion was the only food that made you cry. So I threw a watermelon at his face.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a buddhist monk walk into a bar. The bartender says " What are you drinking?"

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Why do white people go to black people's yard sales? Because they know they sale good quality stuff -Travis

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Stones cannot fly. Humans cannot fly either. Therefore.. I wish I didn't get AIDS...

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If a man has a gun, but no arms or legs, is he armed?

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Nothing if you heard a loud sound or something that was me dropping the phone, by accident, its busted, I will call you when and if all of your "facts" turn out to be true, Hey, had no idea my doppelganger would be so down to earth by the way, so I am sleepy, what about you?

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What's the difference between Stevie Wonder and Kevin Bacon? There's none. Neither of them is a taxi driver.

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for 4 beers. The bartender replies, "One at a time, mate, will that work for you?" To which the man replies, "No", leaves, and drives his 1994 Toyota Corolla off of the road into the pit of a volcano.

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so a guy says to his doctor "it hurts when i touch my leg" the doctor replies "but we cut it of last week" he promptly died with an infection in his leg

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Why did Martha Stewart's skin hurt? My friend has a skin condition :( and is dying, skin cancer is not something to make fun of.

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What did the little girl get for christmas? her first period

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What was the best part of the holocaust? A: none of it, it was a terrible event in history and hopefully is never repeated

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If you were a cactus, why?

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What part of NO can't you understand? The part where you pronounce the 'N'.

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What happened to the woman who walked down a dark alley way? She found a lolly.

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You know what they say about people with big feet.......... They wear big shoes.

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What's small and harmless, but deadly when thrown at high speeds? A baby.

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Why did the student fail his test? He forget to study for it the night before.

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was dead. Why'd the other monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was stapled to the dead monkey!

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What is life? Paul.

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Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. "Where's my tractor?"

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why didn't the unicorn have a horn? It was a horse. Why didn't the horse have a horn? it was not a unicorn.

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womens rights.

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I wife my butt after I poop. I poop out of my penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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