Whats the difference between a ghost and a dolphin? Ghosts aren't dolphins.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? It's everybody in the world telling you to stop re-using this joke.

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What did one narwhal say to another Hi ;)

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The lemons on the tree are ripe. They will be picked.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names

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Why did the girl drop her ice cream her cone broke

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Knock Knock Who's There? Nobody, you have no friends.

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What do you call a box with a dead Jew in? A coffin.

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A Jewish, Italian, and Russian man are stranded on an island. Eventually the Russian man dies from heatstroke, leaving the other two to decide whether or not to feast on his remains. The Italian eventually goes mad and tries to murder the Jewish man who is forced to defend himself and kill his remaining friend. Shortly after, the Jewish man is eventually rescued by a passing German vessel after suffering severe dehydration and malnourishment and hanging on only by his faith in God. As they are leading him to safety, the Jewish man eventually summons the strength to tell his saviors about the horrible things he has done and all he has gone through, not knowing if he'll ever be able to forgive himself. His German rescuers take one awkward look at him, and don't know what to say to help him, leading afterwards to several years of PTSD therapy and rehabilitation.

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A child walked into the bar. He was promptly asked to leave because he was too young.

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A blue whale walks into a bar. The bartender says "What can I get for you?" The blue whale says "EEEEEEYYYYYYYOOOOHHHHHMMMMMMM"

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What's the oppicite of brown???? Something not brown.

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Knock Knock Who's There ........................ ........................................... I hate doorbell ditchers

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Eating a bagel, the man was overcome with disappointment, he thought that he had purchased a donut. He later hung himself.

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Q: What's worse than losing your job? A: Seeing your entire family die in a car accident

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Roses are red Violets r blue My name is Dave Microwave

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hes climbing in your window, hes snatching your people up. Hes a fireman.

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Scumbag steve walks into his friend's dorm room, and finds out he has epilepsy. He then flicks the lights on and off really fast

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What is brown and sticky? A stick

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What happened to the adventurer ? He took an arrow to the knee and became a guard.

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"So can we take the rest of the schoolday off?" the students asked. The teacher then asked: "Why?" The students explained: "Because some of us live far away and it's impossible to get through the masses of snow, especially if the snowfall continues like this." "Well, I can't give you time off, because the principal haven't said it has snowed enough just yet." he responded.

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How do you get a blonde to break a nail? Smash her finger with a wrench.

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How do you stuff a giraffe into a refrigerator? You can't, giraffes are too big.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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