why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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What happens when an alien touches fire? It gets burnt

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Why were there a series of riots in london? The police shot and killed a man who was threatening them and thus caused his friends to get angry and caused other people to lose control.

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How did the magician make it look like there are 2 books on the table? By putting 2 books on the table

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a gay man walks into a bar the bartender says "what'll it be today" he asks for a beer the bartender comes back with a beer because thats what he asked for.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For fitness! ...yeah... nobody laughed when Jonah Hill said it either... awkward

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person 1-As me if I'm purple... person 2- Are you purple? person 1- no

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Two muffins were in the oven...They were taken out after about 40 minutes, and then enjoyed by all.

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A man walks into a doctors office He has AIDS

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Why was the protester on the floor? Because the protest had become a riot, and police brutality is a serious issue.

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What is long, hard, and full of semen? An erected penis.

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Rose are red, Violets are blue, I have AIDS, Now so do you.

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Why did the black guy buy a bucket of KFC? Because he was hungry

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Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

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João Duarte reads this.

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Why wasn't the dog obedient? Because it was dead.

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Have you ever seen the movie called "The Tourist"? No

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? None, because feminists can't change anything

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Person1: wanna hear a joke? Person2: yeah Person1: ok

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whats worse then a baby with out floaties?.......beating your grandma to death with a puppy

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Hi poop!

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A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

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Why was the Mexican smart? Because he was very well educated and went to college, and got a Ph.D

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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