Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

What would happen if an unstoppable object hit and unmovable object? I don't know, I was just wondering

4 out of 5 Americans make up 80% of Americans

What did one dead baby say to the other dead baby? Nothing, they are both dead.

If the blue man lives in the blue house, the red man lives in the red house and the green man lives in the green house, where does the orange man live? In the orange house.

A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya?" the man replies: "shut up gaylord"

how do u make a snooker table laugh? TICKLE ITS BALLS HAHA

What do you call two spaniards talking in French. Bilingual.

What's big, white and will killl you if it falls out of a tree? A polar bear.

Why couldn't the 14 year old find a date? Because he had a speech impediment and girls avoided him usually.

Roses are Red Violets are Red My Garden is on Fire.

What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

"Guess what I was doing in my room last night with the door closed with my hand?" "Please don't say what I think you're going to say" "What? I was just cleaning my room."

Why can't Helen Keller read? Because she is dead.

Why don't you ever want to greet your friend Jack on the plane? Because your wife cheated on you with him and she is having his baby, if you were to even think about talking to Jack, you'd end up slitting his throat and throwing him off the side of the plane into a crocodile pit where they will make a feast of his body for the next couple days... So just don't greet Jack

What do you call a dead blonde in a closet? A rape victim.

When is a door not a door? When your burns down.

Where do you go when you find a fork in the road? To the nearest restaurant.

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because Suzy had no arms.

Why did they bury the pope on the side of the hill? Because he is dead

What can a bench do, that a south African man cant? Support a family. (I HOPE THAT WASN'T RACIST)

Why did Willy kill the black man? Because not.

A black person went into a store and paid full price for his tv

Why was the deer afraid of the hunter because the smell of toasters

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...