A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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What happens when you shoot Chuck Norris? You go to jail.

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Q:When do you club a newborn baby? A:Whenever you want to because babies are stupid

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Give me time to think of a joke hm..............hm.................hm....................hm....................mmm....................hm?..........................m m.....................mmmmm..............hm...................hm.....................hm......................... ah!i don't want to think of a joke

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Why did the girl fall of the swings? Because she has no arms.

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Cool I just got a free Minecraft gift code at http://freeminecraftgiftcode.net

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Hello, nice to meet you.

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Your mom is so fat that she sat on a rock.

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Pull my finger. Not right now. I'm watching The Price is Right.

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Chuck Norris can watch TV.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

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A duck waddles into a bar. He orders a drink and promtly drinks it vecause he has had a hard day at work.

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Friends are like potato, when you eat them die.

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Half a shit.

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A chicken crosses the road and goes into a bar and recites the following poem: Roses are red Violets are blue Knock Knock Who's there? Sugar is sweet Sugar is sweet who? And so are you. The bartender was confused considering she's a blonde. A genie appears and says to the Mexican he'll grant him 3 wishes. The black guy, the white guy, and the jew were at the bar also. The priest was also drinking. They all had a great time.

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Chuck Norris can speak Japanese. Believe it or not he is actually multilingual, he speaks Spanish and French as well.

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"I just don't understand the difference between yours and mines." "Well, you see, yours belong to you, whereas mines explode when you step on them."

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Why did the bear fall down? I shot it. Why did the second bear fall down? It tripped over the first one.

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Unconventional thinking Something else out of one: So sometimes I feel there is something I want right? But I don't feel like I deserve it yet or i hesitate although I fucking want it So I go home, decide to take my time before I decide to buy it, and sit my ass on a chair covered with spikes until I decide it is time to get it, Moral 1: You want to take the better decision but don't feel time is right? Some spikes up your ass is not only the perfect way to change your mind, but in this case an excellent metaphor to why you want to keep doing whats best for you. Moral best: Think if you could get all that time you spent hesitating back, would that not be awesome? What if you just stop hesitating now? Would that not be aweso... Go fuckyourself... Nerometal Fuck Neronism... Cool name though

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What's long, hard, and in my pants? The SAT's... I lied about it being in my pants.

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Snooki

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What is worst than a1000 baby's stapled to a tree? 1 baby stapled to 1000 trees.

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k

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Why did the boy have no ankles? Because his legs were amputated

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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