So a man walks into a bar carrying a giant clock. One of his friends asks, "Hey, whats up with the clock?" His friend then responds, "A goddamned genie gave it to me, i can't take it anymore. Here take his lamp." The man decided to rub the lamp and thinks to himself, "Gee, I'm gonna wish for 1 million dollars." The genie comes out and asks the man, "What wish could i grant you today?" The man says, "I wish i could have 1 million dollars!!" The genie replies, "As you please." All of a sudden, a studded dog collar appears. Then another, and another. Soon there were 1 million dog collars in the bar. The man yells, "WHAT IS THIS?!?! I DIDNT WISH FOR 1 MILLION COLLARS!!!" His friend then replies, "I didn't wish for a giant clock either...."

Violets are Blue, Roses are Red, skip the bull$%!#, and give me head

This is a joke...that your supposed to laugh at.

what is the difference between me and a grown black man.... i went to school

Q: Why are black people so tall? A: Not all black people are tall, and if they are it is probably from their specific genes.

What starts with ''F" ends in "uck" and usually means excitement? A Firetruck

What do you call a Caucasian in Russia? Russian.

What's black and doesn't work? My Blackberry, but luckily it was still under guarantee and the situation was solved swiftly and relatively drama free.

What's the difference between a bench and a black man? The bench is an inanimate object incapable of thought

A priest a rapist and a child molester walk into a bar. He orders a drink

Two black men walk into a Ku Klux Klan meeting. they are immediately lynched by the mob who hates them

Whats the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? The Porsche isn't in my garage

A man walks into a bar and sees that the pianist is just twelve inches tall. He asks the bartender, ''How come you have a 12-inch pianist?'' The bartender replies, ''We have a genie in the back room. He'll answer all your wishes, but be careful, because he has a little trouble hearing.'' The man walks into the back room and asks the genie for a million bucks. The genie then gives him a million ducks. The man comes out and tells the bartender that the genie misheard his wish. The bartender says, ''Come on, now! Do you really think I asked for a 12-inch pianist?!''

Why did the chicken attempt to cross the road? To retrieve his dead relatives in the middle of the street.

Woman are equal and deserve respect just kidding they should suck my ****

Have you heard of the Armenian genocide? No? Me neither.

Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? it has no legs.

What's more depressing than watching a worm watching to worms

why was six afraid of seven? because seven had a huge ass mole

Why don't men have menstruation? -Because it sucks

If a rooster lays a brown egg on the south side of an Asian man's roof, which way would I turn at the intersection? Folderol, because laundry has no soul.

Lady: I think you guys would be very happy here. Chandler: No no no no no no! No, we're not together. We're not a couple, definitely not a couple! Joey: You seem pretty insulted by that. What? I'm not good enough for you? Chandler: We're not going to have this conversation AGAIN!

roses are red violets are blue ill keep u in my heart forever and ower baby to

What do you call a wine-o? A Alco-colic.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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