Why did the man paint his dog blue? He has some strange mental condition and is incapable of controlling his own actions.

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What's the difference between a man and a woman? One has a penis, and one has a vagina.

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How do you fit an elephant inside your car? I don't understand why this task would even need to be performed. I have never arrived anywhere in my car and thought "Sure could use an elephant right about now..."

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After thinking hard for a very long time, the pig realized he was a fat, worthless piece of shit.

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There are two types of people in this world, those that can't count

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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What is both blue and yellow at the same time? Green.

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What did the farmer say when he found his tractor? "There's my tractor."

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Roses are red, Violets aren't. This doesn't make sense. Potatoes and brown.

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What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? not this

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Why did the portuguese fisherman take out a $20,000 loan with a reknown loan shark at exorbitant interest rates? He needed to buy a kidney on the black market for his drug addicted daughter who had also destroyed his credit score meaning he coudln't get a loan from the usual credit facilities such as banks and credit unions.

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A man walks around a bar.

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you: knock knock person: who's there you: interrupting cow person: interrupting cow you:MOOOOOOOOO

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What do you call you're mum? Depends who's reading it or just mum

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A man walks into a bar with a sad-looking face. He orders a strong drink. The bartender asks him "What's wrong? You seem down." The man answers "Well, tough week. My wife was raped and murdered and my son was hit by a bus."

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How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died.

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Why wasn't the old woman sitting on the porch? Because she got raped by a big scorpian.

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One man walks on a bridge, another man sees him but doesn't really care about him.

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Q: what's yellow and can't use chopsticks. A: corn

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Yo mamma's so fat, she died of diabeties and we all mourn her loss.

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Q: What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christimas? A: Cancer.

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Whats more ugly then seeing a raccoon and a frog f*cking Your mom

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van

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what did the robot say to the black guy? I'LL BE BACK

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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