What's the difference between a woman and the Universe ? One is full of mysteries mankind may never understand, the other is, well, the Universe.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call a bathtub full of dead babies? A tragedy.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did Kelliintheraw get punched in the face? Because she is a dumbass

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the fish say when he swam into a wall? ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing finding a worm in an apple is disgusting because worms are disgusting creature that shouldn't live in an apple

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Whats red and goes round and round? A baby in the garbage disposal

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why is the little boy sad? His parents died in a car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: what did the man say to the woman? A: hi

thumb_up thumb_down +13

knock knock who's there?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

My new friend, aka future fuckbuddy asked me what I do for a living. I told her, I write books. She asked me if I had gotten anything published yet. I told her: EXCUSE ME? DID I SAY I WAS A PUBLISHER? She laughed, for some reason... Good enough of an Antichri... Antijoke.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

I enjoy vagina. While you enjoy penis in your mouth. Just remember God hates fags. :)

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's an anti joke? Then I ate my digestive biscuit.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why was the little boy afraid of the dentist because he was a pedophile

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A cockroach walks into a bar. The bar seems to have a pest problem.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

8--------------------- penis

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What do you do when you see an epileptic having a fit in the bath? Laugh at him

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +21

If 2 wrongs make a right and 2 rights make a wrong, then when you have 4 rights=2 wrongs, you have a true statement. If you have 8 rights = 4 wrongs, you have a verified statement.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's brown,green got four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill you? A snooker table.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the chicken cross the road? Thats where the slaughterhouse is.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's better than Jack Daniels? Jack Daniels Jr.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops