Fool me once, shame on you Fool me twice, shame on me Fool me 3 times, oh now you're just being a jerk

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While running away a burgular cut his hand on a piece of glass. He fell to the ground bleeding like crazy. What did the police say when he saw the burgular? You've been caught red handed.

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What do you call a boy that fell off a ferry? Extremely unlucky, since one of the other passengers noticed and the captain turned the ferry around, threw him a ladder, and pulled him aboard. Also he died of hepatitis because his mother was too poor to afford condoms, so he was born with it.

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How do you scare off a ghost? Tell him your ready for a commitment.

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Nope, but you know those like little stop motion things with clay figures? Plompsters or something?

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Take My Wife- Because as it stands, I'm having frequent, toe-curling, unprotected sex with your wife. And that just doesnt seem fair.

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why are black people good at basketball cuz their tall

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What did one apple say to the other apple? -Nothing, apples can't talk

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A dyslexic agnostic insomniac stays up at night wondering if there's a dog.

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Q: Ask me if I read the terms of use before I submitted this joke. A: I didnt

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A knock knock B who's there A nobody

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had been used as an ingredient in kung pow chicken and was on it's way via delivery boy to the house that had ordered it for a lovely evening meal

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Your momma is so fat, she should be concerned about her increased risk if a heart attack, due to her poor eating habits.

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Hey, what do you call Sarah Palin? A Republican.

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what do you call a gay bird a gaybird

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Q. Why dont people like shane murchan ? A. Because he wears chinos .....

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A princess kisses a frog to acquire a prince. Then gets arrested for beastiality.

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A Palestinian woman asks a man for directions. She is promptly stoned to death.

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Q: what's the difference between a young, geeky kid living in Wisconsin's basketball and Yao Ming's basketball? A: young, geeky kids cannot live in Wisconsin's basketball. Wisconsin is a state, and states cannot own objects because they aren't sentient beings. And Yao Ming's basketball... is just a regular basketball that happens to be owned by Yao Ming.

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How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!

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I love you more than other things that are significantly less important to me than you are

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side why didnt the chicken cross back? for the first time in his life, Clucky the chicken, felt liberated. his cruel life flashed before his eyes, forcing him to remember all the bad tines he had spent on the McKinley farm. all the eggs stolen from him, watching all his friends being taken for slaughter. it all came back. from the other side of the road, Clucky saw a place he never wanted to go back to, a place he wanted to forget. the day he chose not to cross back was the first real day in Clucky's life.

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A lion walks into petsmart and asks the cashier were the dog food is. The Cashier replies your a cat and the cat food is in isle 4 you pussy

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What makes 10 year olds laugh? Se x Jokes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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