What do you call a Mexican hockey player? A hockey player.

What did the dog say to the tree? Bark.

why weren't all the jews wiped out in WW2 the gas bill was too expensive

Whats brown and sticky? A stick.

A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

What's the difference between Justin Beiber and a horrible singer? Nothing.

You will NEVER guess what just happened!

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Depends. Are you applying a lot of pressure and licking in short, round bursts, or are you softly suckling on the treat? Your mouth's pH level is also a determining factor, as the sucker digests at a quicker rate the higher the acid content. To put it simply, there is no correct answer, because the sheer quantity of variables makes it a tootsie-less endeavor. See how I said tootsie-less rather than fruitless? Now that's a real joke.

Roses are red Violets are blue Dandelions are weeds

Did you hear about the big Polish tragedy? There was a power outage in Poland's busiest shopping mall, People were stuck on the escalators for 4 hours. A woman gave birth in the elevator and died.

How many dead babies can you fit a bathtub??? It depends on how you slice them!

knock knock who's there i lost my wallet my nan died

what did the maker of anti jokes website say while reading some of the jokes on here? these people r idiots. and he lived happily ever after. then died. Good one

Your momma's of a reasonable figure and weight.

What song does a bulimic person sing while on the toilet? Nothing Bulimic people don't poop.

Whats the difference between a ghost and a dolphin? Ghosts aren't dolphins.

How do unwed mothers celebrate Mother's Day? The same way all mothers do.

Your Mom is so poor she can't afford home-owners insurance.

What came first the egg or the hen? your mother did, when I had sex with her last night.

Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

What is the difference between a bike and a baby? There are a lot of differences

What's black and white and red all over? News paper that was used to cover up a dead body.

Roses are red. Violets blue i do fuck people. MAYBE u too?

Why was Jimmy so upset? Because both of his parents died.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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