What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Steve

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Want to here a joke? Then get off this site!

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Why did suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms.

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Why wouldn't Jimmy ever eat his vegetables at dinner? As a young boy, Jimmy watched as a robber entered his house, suffocated his mother by clogging her airway with a cucumber, and escaped with their life savings.

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Halt! Who goes there?! It is I, Prince Ali Ba Ba of Yo mamas house. To what do I owe this pleasure of your kindness? I come to you with gifts, relics, and spices. All these can be yours if the price is right. Surely there must be a mistake here. How do you go about by and by without a horse? Are you who you say you are? English mothafucka do you speak it?!!! What is this mothafucka do you speak of? Say what again, I dare you! I double dare you mothafucka say what one more goddddam time. Oh wait stop, hammer time...

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What's worse than a Wasp at a picnic? Two wasps at a picnic. What's worse than two wasps at a picnic? A serial rapist. What's worse that a serial rapist? Three wasps at a picnic.

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What happends when two gay guys want to have kids? They can't, so they go to an orphanage and adopt one.

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A jewish lady is cleaning a house to make some extra money. Its great that she can still find work in this economy.

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What is the difference between Barack Obama and Mitt Romney? One is President, the other is not.

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why did the little girl scream?She was afraid of clowns and hated small cars running around a tent

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What is the black kid down the street getting for his birthday? Well first of all, his name is Pat. And he asked his parents for an Xbox that he will likely receive, and I assume a variety of other gifts from friends and family.

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what's worse than 24? 6 million.

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A man accidentally forgets his daughter at a Sizzler

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Why don't midgets live in penthouses? They can't reach the button in the elevator.

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What's worse than 10 babies in one bin? 1 baby in 10 bins.

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A choir boy is hit by a car outside church. Someone runs to him and says "shall I fetch the priest?" The boy starts to mumble something but quickly loses consciousness, and later dies after 16 hours in ICU.

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Why wasn't the crow allowed on the plane? He had too much carrion luggage

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What do you do when a girl you gave roofies to wakes up? Take your tongue out of her ass and run!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Maybe because it had escaped from the farm and as it doesn't have full conciousness, it couldn't distinguish between grass and the asphalt, so it happened to cross the road.

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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What do you call a gay man having sex with a woman? Sex.

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what did the therapist say to the other therapist? were both therapists.

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what did one bum way to the other? we're shit out of luck

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What did Stevie Wander get for christmas? A book

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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