Q. What does the pencil and the basketball have in common? A. They both are made from wood, except for the basketball.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I'm from the Department of Child Services, i'm here to take your children.

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Lady wanna go out sometime? Im not lesbian girl! Im not a girl... OUCHIE!

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What did the mom say to her daughter? I love you.

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Chuck Norris can carry very heavy objects.

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Why did the boy cry Because he fell

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wsedrtyujiKFKJKLEFL;LKJRG Blame the economy. Don't hit me, I'm a girl! EQUAL RIGHTS, EQUAL RIGHTS!

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What is the difference between Boyscouts and Jews? Boyscouts come home from camp.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing. She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally

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How much money did the pirate pay for his ear to get pierced? Nothing, given that he is a pirate. It was probably done at gunpoint.

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Why are there no swimming pools in Mexico? The average yearly income is $3,523, and pool chemicals are very expensive.

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What's worse than a joke. ONE TOLD BY FOK.

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Why is there trees? Because they change color... Oh yeah and for oxygen by Burflared

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What do you call a person with no arms or legs rolling around in leaves? I don't know that seems like a highly improbable situation

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Q: Why did the black guy cross the road? A: Hell, I don't know. He probably stole something.

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What did Harry Potter say when he lost his wand? Where's my wand?

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what did Dr. Dre say? Nothing you idiots! Dr. Dre's dead!

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roses are red violets are blue grass is green

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A dinosaur walks into the bar, everyone panics in fear and confusion because it is a dinosaur and it's weird.

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what do an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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A germaphobe is in a room full of sick people. He leaves.

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What do you call a group of black gentle men running down a hill A group of black gentle men running down a hill

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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