why did the mokey fall out of the tree because it was dead.

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So this beautiful woman goes to see her doctor and says "Doctor i think i have a fever." the doctor replies "I think I've got just what you need. open your mouth." The woman opened her mouth and the doctor gave her some Advil "This should help your fever. that will be $300." in shock the woman said "these prices are to high."

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a duck walks up to a lemonade stand. thats impossible, because nature says that ducks cannot walk.

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I LIKE TRAINS

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Why do guys love to wrestle? They like to have physical contact with other men.

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whats worse than getting raped by your mom getrting raped by a giant scorpian

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Have I ever told you that you looked beautiful? No. Ok, good.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. It's funny because the robot has no arms.

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i have to pee out my ass.

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Why did the other reindeer make fun of Rudolph? He had one nut

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Why did the black guy walk into the supermarket and buy 100 bananas? Because he works at the zoo you racist!

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What's worse than getting full-blown AIDS? Nothing.

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Why did little Bobby put a firecracker in the dog's ass? Don't worry he used lube.

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A horse walks into a bar. The Bartender says "Why the long face?" The Bartender is then put into a lunatic asylum for hallucinating and trying to communicate with said hallucinations.

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Why can you punish cows but not fish? Because you can ground beef, but not fish!

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Penis.

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Knock knock *open*

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Jersey Shore

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What's better than Westboro Church? Committing over 9000 sins.

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Q: What is scarier than the boogie man? A: Herpes

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Black people

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What's silent but deadly? Limnic Eruption.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends on its sex. Females weigh 150-250kg, and males weigh upwards of 350kg.

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Whats worse than than falling in a puddle on the way to a meeting? Getting shot while your at that meeting.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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