A man walks into a bar and utters profanity because he's hit his head on a protruding metal object that cannot move out of the way and has therefore made him look stupid because he neglected to walk around it.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ben. Ben who? Ben Dover.

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knock knock who's there? no one, but I appreciate the fact you asked.

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How do you confuse a black man? Call him from a blocked number and I say "I love you"

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You have a birthday party and invite 5 celebrities: Britney spears, Lady Gaga, Hulk Hogan, Barack Obama, and Oprah. Meanwhile, there is a cow in a nearby pasture pooping.

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How many Jews fit in an oven? Nein

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WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?... CAUSE HE FELT LIKE IT, IDIOT

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ur left leg is cristmas nd ur right leg is thanks giving can i vist

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Why did the woman step away from the kitchen? To pick up her paraplegic son, who had fallen.

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What is wrong with being a black Jew? You have to sit in the back of the oven.

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Why did the man cut his hair? Cause he has cancer

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A blind man walks into a bar... He tragicly attracts aids and dies as the bar is shut down for health purposes

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what did the catholic priest say to the boy?

god be with you.

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Yo mama got so bad teeth her dentist said she should get them surgicly removed and get lifelike dentures

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What is hotter than two girls making out? The Sun.

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I'm gay Mr Goodwin

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What do you call a monkey? A monkey.

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What do you call a man in the desert? Whatever his name is.

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Knock knock whos there? Underware Underware who? I underware my friends are

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A1: he was shot. A2: he died A3: the forest was being cut down and he got into a machine and was shredded to pieces A4: he fell asleep

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ryan. Ryan who? Ryan Seacrest.

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Once upon a time there were three aliens. The first alien landed in a school,The second alien landed in a market, and the third alien landed in a preschool. When the first one landed the teacher asked the students who wants to go to the computer lab,all the students said me! me! me! and the alien learned me! me! me! When the second one landed the businessman asked him what he wanted, and he saw a toy gun and it talks and the gun said gun! gun! gun! and the alien learned it and said gun! gun! gun! Then when the third alien landed one preschooler stole another preschoolers lollipop then he said "He stole my lollipop"! And the alien learned it and said "he stole my lollipop!" Then someone got murdered and the three aliens went there and the murderer detective asked "Who killed that man!" And the first alien said me! Me! Me! "What did you kill him with!" Then the second alien said gun! gun! gun! "Why'd you kill him!" Then the third alien said "He stole my lollipop!" And that's it folks! ????????????????????????????????

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Yo mama's so fat, we are all extremely concerned for her health.

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There once was a man in Peru Who dreamed he was eating his shoe He awoke with a fright In the middle of the night To find that someone was breaking into his house

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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