What do you call a man with a spade in his head? ...An innocent, family orientated murder victim.  X

Your mother is so overweight that she decided to have liposuction and then proceeded to live a wonderful life.

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, shes already been told twice

I like my women like I like my coffee. Without a penis

Adele Gordon walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Why the long face?' Because she is a horse lol.

A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

onranges are orange bananas are yellow and apples are red/green ................... and im ................. PINK (lw/kc)

How long will it take for a dog to paint a color wheel? I don't know.

why did billy fall down? Because he is mentaly retarted and was just plain stupid.

A man walks into a park. He gets abducted and raped by flying asparagus.

Knock knock Who's there? The chicken that crossed the road

Billy was taking a stroll in the forest, when suddenly he met a bear. Billy remember what his father had taught him, and quikly lied down on the ground, pretending to be dead. The bear started licking Billy's face. Still he remained calm. The bear bit off Billys finger. Still he did not move. When the bear ate Billy's foot, he nearly panicked. But thinking of his wife and children he mustered his last remaining strenght, and did not move a muscle. If he tried to run or fight the bear he would surely die and never see them again. Then the bear ate Billys head.

And so he penguin said, The is my most casual outfit!" HAAAW

Why can't we see the wind? Because no one likes you...

This is a joke...that your supposed to laugh at.

lol

A dog walks into a bar, animal control is called and he is put down as he is suffering from rabies.

A blonde walks into a bar She said, agh that hurt

Yo mama so fat, that when she wore a blue swimsuit to the beach and swam, the Blue Whales started sing, "WE ARE FAAMILY...EVEN THOUGH UR BUGGER THAN ME!!!"

A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

Why did the priest touch the little boy? To Baptise him.

There are two muffins in the oven. One says: "It's really getting hot in here!" The other one can't reply because it is already dead.

You know what he said? How did you know what he said?

What is brown and sticky? A stick

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...