Why did little Betsy have a stomach ache? Her alcoholic mother pinned her down in a drunken rage and made her drink bleach.

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what did the astronomer say when he lost his telescope? where is my telescope?

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edmond alward. handyman services. call 0858430803.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have fetal alcohol syndrome."

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lets work together to make all racists jokes in negitives

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It was at the war and there was a camp site where a doctors helped injured soldiers. One soldier comes in the door and holds his arm. The doctor says "You got shot in the arm?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and holding his shoulder. The doctor says "You got shot in the shoulder?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and was dragging his left leg across the floor. The doctor says "You got shot in your leg?" The soldier says "No, I stepped on dog shhhttt."

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how do you wake lady gaga up? you hit her in the face with a frying pan

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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why didthe man's computer crash? the man has a serious porn addiction

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What do you call a qoman with 10 kids? A mother with 10 kids

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Why do people discriminate against black people? Because they show an undeserving amount of disrespect towards the rest of the world and why should they get anything better than what they offer.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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What's long, dark, and smelly? The unemployment line.

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What's big, black and long? The line in KFC

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Your mom is so ugly, that her job prospects are affected negatively, and your family suffers as a consequence.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The ten year old in my trunk

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Dear diary, its day 230, the apple supply's are running low, the doctors are closing in, the dentists have been chanting "its time to go to the dentist" all day, I wont be able to hold them back much longer, help.

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How does a muslim make his parents proud? He gets good grades.

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Why did the girl buy wine? She was hosting a party for four of her closest friends.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What's the only animal that has to be oiled? any animal I can think of

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How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends, but most weigh around 775 to 1,200 pounds.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Peas are green Plums are purple Thieves are black

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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