Why won't sharks attack lawyers? Humans tend to fight back, and sharks wouldn't usually be so hungry as to endanger their own lives in this way. Besides, most places where humans swim have shark barriers.

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Did you hear about the guy who lost his arm and leg in a car crash? Well, he just died in hospital. RIP.

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your mom is so blind she cant read.

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Whats the difference between a bottle of coke and a black man stuck in a phone booth? one of them is comparing himself to a bottle of coke, the other is a bottle of pepsi

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Your mom is so fat, she has crippling depression and has tried killing herself three times.

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What do you get when you post the same thing a million times? Hate

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A batch of muffins is cooking in the oven, one muffin says to the others "it's hot in here!" the other muffins don't respond because they're muffins. He's the only of his kind.

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An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

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Your mother is so fat that her doctor recommended that she exercise regularly and eat foods with nutritional value.

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Miranda Cosgrove's singing career. ......Thats it. Thats the joke.

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A fish walks into a bad Fish dont walk

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a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z i left out p.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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a child swallows a cleaning product, why is he given chocolate milk? to make him happy before he dies

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how many boys does it take to use 4 computers? 4.

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Wanna here a joke? Canadians.

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Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's wife? No Neither have I

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-Why did the man sue the train driver after he witnessed his friends death? -Because he was owed a duty of care.

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What happened to the jew? He got shoved in an oven.

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Thank you for helping to save the animals. You may send your donation as a check to "Anti-Joke" at 555 Main Street, Anytown, CA.

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Johnny is walking around school when he sees a kid crying. He asked the kid what he was crying about and the kid said " I was trying to talk to a girl"

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What is black at the bottom, and white at the top? Society.

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Is it possible to mix an answer to a question with another? No. Aids are perfect for fear training.

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How old is your mom Dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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