Why did the rooster cross the road? To go play with the other roosters.

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why did the clown cross the road? to kill everyone in the dark knight midnight premiere

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What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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Why do vampires suck the blood of their victims? Because blood is very nutritious and provides more iron for heamoglobin.

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? Jelly doesn't contain pieces of fruit.

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You cant like my stuff ive known you for like 1 day. just kidding you can like whatever you want, actually ive know you for 5 years

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't know any better. It very recently was decapitated in order tofeed the farmers family.

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why did the boy cry because i punched him so hard in the face he shit out his teeth for the next three weeks

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what do you get when you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientists a mutant chicken

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How many Italians does it take to change a light bulb....... 1

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Whats the differense between a pile of dead babies and a Farrari I actually have a Farrari in my garage.

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What is white, black, and red all over? A: A zebra being slaughtered.

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How do you make a clown sad? You hit him in the face with axe

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why did everyone laugh at the kid in the wheel chair as he entered the room? he was poor

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What did one computer say to the other? 01001111 01100010 01110110 01101001 01101111 01110101 01110011 0100000 01100010 01101001 01101110 01100001 01110010 01111001 0100000 01101001 01110011 0100000 01101111 01100010 01110110 01101001 01101111 01110101 01110011

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What was the last thing that went through the crashing helicopter pilot's head? The propeller.

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Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A Mexican is a Mexican and a bench is a bench.

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Why can't Tommy the T-Rex clap? Because dinosaurs have been extinct for 65 Million years.

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what happened to the baseball player who couldnt throw? he was very unsuccessful, as throwing is the most important skill of the game

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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Ok, So what happens when an Irishman, Rabbi, and a Black guy all walk into a bar. Nothing the Black guys a recovering alcoholic and is supported by his loving family and friends, especially by his son Martin who he promised to stop drinking when he was 7.

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i know a guy called ryan he is a benny he has a combover

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whats not funny and has access to a computer and reasonable internet? Me

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How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? A car crash.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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