a rabbi sees a nazi in time square. he simply walks past because as we are in america the nazi can do nothing to harm him.

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knock knock, Whos there ?? Johnny. Come in fish.

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How many times has Belle Ahern been hit in the mutt 76. Stupid slut

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Q. Whats green jumps up and down and then red? A.A frog in a mixer

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what do you do if you see an asian trip on a step? help him/her up and ask if their alright.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Hey Shea

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I like turtoes.

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So a man walks into a bar, And because he is dressed in such a way that was thought of as threatening to the general safety of the highly valued customers, he is shot eight times in the head.

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Zafarfanugen the third: Why did the chicken cross the road? Bob: Who cares about some dumb chicken crossing the road! I am more interested in why three generations of your family would continually use such a ridiculous name!

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why was the clown sad? because his wife left him

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Bitch please, you're adopted as well.

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what did the women say when she saw a tiger maul a rabbit? she didn't see it, she was in the kitchen cooking and ironing

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your lord and savior?

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So a Moose walks into this store, and walks up to the lady bitch, and he goes "Hey, lady bitch, where the potatoes?" So the lady bitch goes "Heheh, their in aisle 5." So the moose goes down aisle 5, and there aint no potatoes.

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just imagine like a whole dad no imagine like 1000 dads an army of dads ready to conquer

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You can pick your nose and you can pick your friends but you can't wipe your friends on the couch.

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Q: Whats the difference between a pile of dead babys and a Ferrari? A: I dont have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a passing car.

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How do you stop a black man from committing a crime? You throw him a basket ball.

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Human: Are you a frayed knot? Frayed knot: I'm afraid so.

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My mom told me and my brother to clean up o te commercial...but we were watching Netflix

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Chuck Norris has normal human strength.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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