Knock Knock Who's there? Its the pizza man. Get your yellow no good keister off my property before I pump your guts full of lead. 1,2...10

thumb_up thumb_down

What's the difference between Neal Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neal Armstrong was the first man to WALK on the MOON, while Michael Jackson enjoyed touching young boys.

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are Red Violets are blue This joke isn't funny And neither are you!

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was Joe afraid of Steve? Because Steve raped and killed all of Joe's three children two weeks ago.

thumb_up thumb_down

hi charles lattuca III

thumb_up thumb_down

There once was a man from Nantucket... Who was fiscally responsible.

thumb_up thumb_down

Hey I just met you and this is crazy this song doesn't rhyme penis

thumb_up thumb_down

why was the cat black it was a black cat

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: Whats Brown and sticky A: an eagle except for the brown and sticky part

thumb_up thumb_down

Is the glass half full or half empty? The liquid in the glass is not at exact half, so that question is not answerable.

thumb_up thumb_down

do you know a really good joke? i don't have one.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a man with a spade in his head? ...An innocent, family orientated murder victim.  X

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How do you treat someone that is feels like a total failure? Treatment: Okay, draw a square on the board over there, but in order to succeed, you must fail at it. Patient one: Oh, I drew a cicrle :( Patient two: I drew a square :( Congratulations one you succeeded at failing! Now get outta here. Congratulations patient two, you succeeded at the given task, bye bye.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the podiatrist say to the proctologist? That athletes foot fungus is clearing up nicely.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was walking.

thumb_up thumb_down

3 Men walk into a bar, they all order up a drink. And then they paid their tabs and left.

thumb_up thumb_down

Yo mumma so poor that she dosent have any money

thumb_up thumb_down

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Did you see Helen Keller's doll house? No... Well it's really nice!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was convicted of murder and rape

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Who found Anne Frank? The Nazis

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you piss off a female archeologist? Kill her dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Doctor Doctor, I keep getting horrible boils all over my face! Okay then. Take off your underwear and we'll see what's going on.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why was the turkey killed? Because this particular turkey lived on a farm and a supermarket was paying the farmer a reasonable price to sell it.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops