What happened to the Jewish man while he was in the shower? He accidentally fell asleep and was late to his job.

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why was there no toothpaste left in the toothpaste tub? someone squeezed it all in a drawer

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Selena Gomez, Victoria Justice, and Arianna Grande walk into a bar. They were making a movie.

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I don't know about the rest of you, but I HATE funerals.

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What did the plane say to the twin towers on 9/11 - Nothing, how do you expect planes to talk, stop hallucinating and stop with the drugs

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The Pope

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Why did the boy's house get destroyed? It was bombed.

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Whats more fun than throwing a dead baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork.

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Q. Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A. being physically disabled due to a preventable accident, thus leaving you incapable of doing activities that are easily completed by an able-bodied person

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Black people are innocent.

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knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant

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Why did the man yell at his wall? Because it jumped out and scared him when he walked past

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How do you get a clown to get off a swingset? Chop off his arms and legs.

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Fruitcake

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish.

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What's black, white, and red all over A penguin in a blender

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Q: What did the monkey say to the parrot? A: I like trains so feed me bananas!

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What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

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why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms.

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Roses are red Im adopted

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What has two legs? Half a cat

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"I have some good news and some bad news, which do you want to hear first?" The good news. "There is no bad news." Then what's the bad news? "There is no bad news.

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Roses are red Violets are red Shit My garden's on fire?

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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