why did the boy fall to the ground? He was struck by lightning

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GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

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Why was Adolf Hitler such a bad man? Because he never kissed his wife goodbye.

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What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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Person 1: Knock knock. Person 2: Come in.

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Charlotte Bobcats

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Janey Had her first kiss with Jonny. Jonny choked on her ridiculously large was of gum and died.

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What did the Frog say to the other Frog? Nothing they can't speak

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69

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What's blue and pillowy? A blue pillow

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Dad: "Happy birthday, son! Let's go get a beer." Timmy: "But dad, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are, we hope that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it's not to be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we are to the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably; happy birthday? No such thing.” Timmy's mom had just died of cancer a few days ago. A friend walks in the door, not knowing Timmy's mom died just a few short days before his birthday. He screams, "Happy birthday!" TImmy: "Damn. I'm not going through this again."

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What do a plum and an elephant have in common? They're both gray, except for the plum

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What happened when the Mexican man contracted the muscles of his large bowel after a large meal? Shit made its way to his anus

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Society.

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Knock knock Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? T get to the other side of the road

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Anywhere from 2-8, depending on the size of the vehicle.

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A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

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How much does the Holo cost? Six million.

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Last night I had a Chinese By that I mean I abducted some Chinese people and ate them

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy I have alzheimer's Bacon

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Q: Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? A: Because she is a fictional character.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Jupiter is the Galaxys biggest planet!

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How do you make Al Gore cry? Kill his daughter.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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