Jeff was a very hard working accountant, after a very long day he drove to burger king, he looked up at the menu and said to the lady. I'll have a burger please.

a woman walks into a stall with her five yr old daughter. as the mom starts to due her buisness the girl looks down and asks her mom "Mommy why do u have a beard on ur pe-pe?"

Sprechen zie deutsche? nein!

Punchline.

Mum makes $97 per hour working online? Offline I can see , but online, mmm pull the other one, it plays lossless codecs

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question.

Why was Timmy so unpopular at school? Because he caught aids of his pet rock

Q: why did the boy walk into the woods alone? A: nobody knows he hasn't come out yet

That awkward moment were your giving your girlfriend a blowjob then you realize your giving your girlfriend a blowjob.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, in fact, the "road" in this joke symbolizes the Mexican/American border. The chicken's real name is Esteban Jimenez and he crossed the "road" to reach his family on the other side so he can start his life over. In addition to this, Esteban's real dream was to establish a 401k and possibly go to law school so he could begin his own law firm.

What's worse than the conservatives? Nothing, because conservatives fuck everything up.

How do you lock out a Chinese Person? Lock the door

Two men are walking. The first one ask "what time is it?". They die.

I was born.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because its dopaminergic neurons fired synchronously across the synapses of its caudate nucleus, triggering motor contractions propelling the organism forward, while emitting 'cluck' distress signals, to a goal predetermined by its hippocampal road mappings.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? You've already seen this joke at least SIXTY TIMES on this website, so you already know.

Two hippies walk into a bar. They are both asked to leave because they are in violation of the 'no shoes, no service' policy.

The Bible

whats blue and doesnt like cheese? the sky, i was only messing about the cheese

what did liam weir ask ethan. how much charge do you have

Why don't blind people own cats? They do, who told you that?

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a porch? Bob

What's long brown and sticky? S**t

What has two arms, and two legs but cant walk? A Cripple

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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