What causes floods? Too much water.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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A: Knock Knock (pause) B: Please use the doorbell, it is very late and I like to be considerate of my neighbors

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Your mom is so fat that her BMI is in the morbidly obese column.

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Q: What did ine sweaty arab man say to the other sweaty arab man? A: "I'm sweaty"

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you know whats worse than being cold? being colder

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans

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Q: What do you call a bathtub? A: A bathtub

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Q: A plane crashes on the boarder of Mexico and America, where do you bury the survivors. A: You don't because there were none, everyone fucking died!

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A woman gets home from bying tampons to use later in the month. She walks into the house and sees a heart box with a note from her husband of 5 years. The note reads: Roses are red - violets are blue - Fudge Is Sweet - Heres some Fudge...........She then puts the note down, eats the fudge, and has diarrhea a few hours later. The husband comes home and feels bad because he forgot that fudge upsets his wife's stomach. Later that night the wife asks her husband to have anal sex with her. The husband agrees but later regrets his action since his dick is now discolored and smells of shit..........Two days later the family dog dies. The wife and husband mourn. I like cheese

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what happens when a panther and a gorilla fight? i dont know i never seen it before.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the house. knock knock. who's there? the chicken!

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a man walks into a casino, it's the third time this week and he's contemplating suicide.

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roses are refds violet are xaflj;k it sucks having turretts syndroewe

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Friends are like bananas. If you peel your skin and eat them, they die.

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What animal is green and eats a green rockeater? A green green rockeater eater. What animal is green and eats a green green rockeater eater? A frog.

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Whats the difference between a ham sandwich and a dead baby sandwich? I don't stomp on my ham sadnwiches with cleats before I eat them.

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what do u call blue fluff? blue fluff

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What happens when a toad is struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.

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get off me you fat b*tch or i will mash you up like a potato

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Why did the chicken cross the road? How the hell should i know, i do not speak chicken.

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Knock Knock Who's there Bannana O He lives next door

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There was a man workin at the supermarket, when a cow with a hat entered. He realized that it couldn't be really happening and had to be a dream. Effectively: he was dreaming. Actually, he was in jail, and his execution was scheduled for that day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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