Whats blue, flies with wings, weights over two tons, and has a rocket engine with six eyeballs? *hayball rolls* Moral: Im the one asking you...

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WHO WANTS SOW????

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? a nintendo wii.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It thought they were playing follow the leader. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? It had no arms. Why did the little girl fall off her tricycle? She was hit by three monkeys and a refrigerator.

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why does her hair shine so nicely? she uses good shampoo.

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What did Ben's Graandma get him for Christmas? Nothing, she died on Thanksgiving!

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I would tell you a joke about a blunt pencil but it's pointless

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You know whats better than 24? 25

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What happens when you combine a chainsaw and a baby? 30 years to life

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Lots of things. Life isn't all about you, you know.

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper with some red stuff on it.

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What do Michael Jordan and Michael Jackson have in common? The same first name.

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A 2 lb ball and a 10 lb ball are dropped at the same time. Which hits the ground first? They both hit the ground first. Go ahead and try it. Go on. Now. If you are still reading you really want to know if anything else is going to happen. Well nothing exciting. Just a potato. 0 looks like a potato

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Did you hear about the black man who went to college? He made a very successful living for himself despite this rough economy.

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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Why did the guy throw a clock out his window? Because he was mentally unstable and needs help.

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Why are hookers and babies so alike? You can have sex with both.

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Why does Lady GaGa have no hair down there? It's physically impossible to grow hair on your toenails.

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George Bush, a little boy, and his grandfather are on an airplane with a failing engine. They have only two parachutes to save themselves. The plane crashes and they all die.

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Why did Alice cross the road? Because she wasn't funny. At all. So the people on the other side of the road asked her to do so.

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Why did the Nigger fuck shit? He was a shit fucking Nigger.

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why do elephants eat peanuts? so they can save the wrappers for valuable prizes

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Why did the Squirrel swim across the river upside down? To keep its nuts dry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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