Three surfers paddle out into the surf. They had a pretty good time, except one of them got a shit ton of water up his nose.

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whats my name? Matt

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Why did the black guy wear a hat? To keep the sun out of his eyes

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You wanna hear a clean joke? I took a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? I slipped in mud. Wanna hear an even dirtier joke? Bubbles is a guy..

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(Q) Why did the little boy cross the road? (A) To get to the police officer. (Q) Why did the little boy need the police officer? (A) because he was raped.

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Dwarf Shortage

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 went to a house party. 7 was there. 7 and 6 kind of new each other. They went to the same school, but weren`t really friends. All night 7 was giving 6 strange looks. 6 started feeling uneasy, so he left the party early. When 6 got in his car 7 was inside waiting for him and pulled out a gun. Luckily 6 got away from 7 safely, but has been scared of him ever since.

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What's white and comes out of a long black stick? Milk with a long black straw.

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Last Christmas I gave you my heart... but the very next day your body rejected the transplant and you died.

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Whats an Anti-Joke? Funny

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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RRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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Why did the man fall over? He was blind.

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Why did the first monkey fall off the tree? becuase he died Why did the second monkey fall off the tree? because he was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall off the tree? monkey see, monkey do

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see ya

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What do you call a person with one eye and no arms? Names.

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whats worse than getting beaten up by a bully? realizing your fly was down the whole time and getting beaten up by a bully

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Why did 12 people die when they went to see The Dark Knight Rises movie premiere? Because they were shot and bled profusely resulting in quick, painful death.

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how do you make a little girl cry?? Kill her family

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This is an anti-joke.

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What does a person that is fasting get for Christmas? Food.

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whats up fuch you bitch

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An asian without a future.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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