why did the chicken cross the road? because there were no cars coming and it seemed like a safe time to cross

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Why cant t-rexes clap their hands? They no longer exist

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What did the genie say to the frog? Go home.

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what do you call the quadriplegic man who went water skiing? Skip

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65% of people are starving 32% are over 190 lbs. Think about it

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Why did the father not text back? He died in a car crash

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How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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why was the giraffes head so far away from his body? because he has a long neck

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Penis

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How do you get a black man to use a condom? You explain to him all the benefits of safe sex.

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Knock knock (Knock knock...) (Knock knock...) (Knock knock...) (Knock knock...) (Knock knock...) Fuck me, that's the most echo-y door I've ever knocked on.

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away? What about the vampires?

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff.

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Knock knock Who's there? What.

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What's worse then forced to eat frog legs? Xbox one

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A Jewish man, black guy, and asian all walk into a bar. Can you guess which one got arrested? That's right, the criminal

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Knock knock *runs away laughing*

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Coach: Hey, you missed the team meeting today, but I wanted to let you know we've had a number of changes to the lineup. Player: Really? Who's on first? Coach: That's right. A man with the unlikely name of Mr. Who is on first. We also have Mr. What on second, and Mr. I Don't Know is on third. The rest of the team is the same. Player: Oh. People have weird names now. But I'm sure they're great guys. Thanks for explaining that. Coach: Any time. Don't mention it.

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What's the difference between a bike and a black man? I don't know how to ride a bike.

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Ask me if I'm a watermelon. Are you a watermelon? No...

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What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

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Dont you guys just hate it when someone puts a stupid joke on anti-joke?

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Lets just say that we are beyond the stage where I am "just" trying, by the way, you might want to search that last comment for double negatives. Or you know NOT NOT. Do not take my word for it, but if I am not wrong, the bacteria (yogurt) leaves afterwards, so you are eating milk that has been eaten and then.. You know... A common "side effect" of hypnosis, is that when it is used, the one hypnotized (both in this case) end up feeling a "strange" case of closeness, stronger bonds, friendship etc, scientists wonder why... ITS LIKE DUH! WE BOTH REVEAL DEEP SECRETS TO EACH OTHER! THINGS WE DO NOT EVEN USUALLY TELL OURSELVES! Its a literal no brainer, scientits can go fuck themselves, because as far as I know, thats the only fuck they ever get.

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Hey I just met you. And this is crazy. So get in my van. Cause I have candy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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