What has feet, but no legs? An alien.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What is the difference between a black man and a Chevrolet? They didn't sell Chevrolets in the 1800s.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why didn't Superman save the world trade center? He was in a wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

mitchell palmer sucks

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A Vietnam war veteran accidentally goes to a Vietnamese concert and says, "I could take a lot of them down with me."

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why did the pilot crash the plane? Because he was a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down -27

So this farmer had theses two amazingly fast horses, one named slokey and the other pokey. They would run in the pasture and bring many people to watch. So one day this man says hey, you should enter them in the county derby. So he does and the whole race its slokey, pokey slokey, pokey, and slokey wins by a nose. So after the farmer collects his prize money a man walks up and says, hey those horses are pretty fast, you should enter them in the state derby. So he loads his horses up to the capital and prepares them. When the gates open slokey and pokey dash out of the gate. The whole race its slokey, pokey, slokey, pokey, and slokey wins by a nose. After all the press conferences a man says, hey you should enter those horses in the kentucky derby. So the farmer enters them and drives down to kentucky. The gates open and the whole time its slokey, pokey, slokey, pokey, and slokey wins by a nose. After the press meetings a man says hey you should enter your horses in the european derby. The farmer says no, im going to retire my horses. One fall afternoon pokey says to slokey, man, i wish i could have won a single race. So they race around the huge pasture and the whole way its slokey, pokey, slokey pokey, and pokey wins by a nose! All the farm animals go crazy and the farm dog says "congratulations pokey you finally won!" And pokey says "HOLY SHIT A TALKING DOG!"

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the black man in a white van get when he went over the speed limit? A speeding ticket

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What is intangible and has every color on the rainbow? A rainbow.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

penis haha

thumb_up thumb_down +13

"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Will farrow now gimme your hentai"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: What do you do if you find your tv floating at night? A: Yell "DROP IT NIGGAH!" Q: What do you do if you find your tv floating in the day time? A: Run away cause your house is haunted.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's more stinky than a fart? More farts.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: Have you heard from that guy who dropped a piano on his head? A: No one has, he dropped a piano on his head.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

I just made up a joke! How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Seven. The ending needs some work...

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A barrel of monkeys is only a barrel of laughs if they're alive and telling jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A guy walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what do a fish and wood have in common? when they're dead, they float

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How do you confuse a blonde? Hit her over the head with a baseball bat until she has concussion

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Two gay guys walk into a Hooters... They order cheese fries and enjoy their meal.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A blonde walks into a library. "PLEASE CAN I HAVE A CHEESEBURGER?!" he shouts at the top of his lungs. "Sir, this is a library," the librarian says. "Oh, sorry," he whispers and goes to McDonald's Two years of the routine and he dies of of heart failure and has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How many Jews does it take to change a lightbulb? Depends on how big the lightbulb is

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops