How do you get them out? Tortilla chips

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why did the woman get electricuted? because there was an electric fence around the kitchen.

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What do you get when you put two landsharks together? Three landsharks.

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How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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Horse walks into a bar. 'The barman says 'why the long face?' The horse says 'I've got cancer'.

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How many men does it take to screw a light bulb? One, men will screw anything.

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Where do dizzy cows go? In circles...

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HITLER IS SO SEXY I WOULD PAY A MILLION DOLLARS TO HAVE SEX WITH HIS DEAD HOT BODY WHENEVER I THINK ABOUT HIM I SPRAY MY SEMEN ALL OVER MY JEWISH SLAVES YUMMY HITLER JUST MAKES ME WANT TO BITE HIS ROTTING PENIS OFF AND FORCE IT IN THE EYE SOCKET OF A JEWISH PERSON AND THEN I CUM IN HIS EYESOCKET

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An Atheist and a Christian are walking along a sidewalk going in opposite directions when suddenly the Atheist sneezes. The Christian says "God Bless You!" Even though the Atheist doesn't believe in God he understand that the gesture was a kind one and so he nods and politely says "Thank you!" before going on about his day.

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What's worse than 6 dead babies in a trash can? More than 6.

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What happens when you shoot someone? They die.

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roses are red violets are blue wanna hear a joke? WNBA....

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Q:What's the difference between a Boy scout and a Jew? A:Boy scouts come back from camp.

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How many light bulbs? 1

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what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

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CALLER: Is your refrigerator running? OWNER: Yes, it's working just fine.

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Why did the man get a DUI? Because he was driving under the influence.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? That boy that dropped a perfectly good ice cream cone from a road accident involving a bus due to lack of road safety awareness Oh yeah, and I guess the fact that he probably died or was injured for life is pretty bad too

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Ebola, You're going to die.

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What's the best sound in the world? Children screaming

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Christopher Reeve walks into a bar.

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Jayden Eccles

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Knock knock Who's There? Me I kill you again HA HA HA

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Two hunters are in the woods. One of them clutches his chest, falls to the ground, and loses consciousness. In a panic, the other hunter calls 911 and tells the operator that his friend might be dead of a heart attack. The operator says "Before we send a coroner instead of an ambulance, first make sure he's dead." The hunter says "Alright." There is a pause and then BLAM! "Okay," says the hunter, "now what?" The operator follows standard procedures to keep the hunter on the phone, lucid and calm. 45 minutes later, police reach the scene, arrest the hunter and begin a months-long investigation. Forensics determines that the dead hunter was likely alive prior to being shot in the face at point-blank range. The defendant is charged with first-degree murder and receives a 30-year sentence. On the 9th year of his sentence, he is stabbed in the chest 6 times by an initiate in a rival prison gang and dies the next day. He was 53.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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