What did the compliemantry peanuts say to the man? "Nice tie."

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Do you know what's funny? 9/11

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Suppose an American, an Indian, a dinosaur, and a leprechaun are on a plane together. Which one would be the first to chug a 7 pound bottle of coke? The situation is too unlikely, with the odds of it occurring being less than 1%, therefore the question cannot be answered accurately.

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Duke: Hi Sally: Hello Duke: Nice weather huh? Sally: I couldn't tell ya duke, I'm not a meteorologist.

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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What did the person do at the stop sign? Stop

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Why wasn't there a rainbow? It didn't rain.

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy Get in the van

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knock knock ... no one was in

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Two jewish men walk into the butcher shop. They buy a pound of ground beef and nothing else.

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The awkward when you didn't actually say moment.

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your mother is so fat that she got brain damaged from cardiac arrest and now needs medical care for the rest of her life.

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? were both lawyer's.

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I like my coffee like i like my woman, Without a penis.

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Tim likes girls

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What happened when the Mexican put the Popsicles in the fridge? They melted

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Me: Ask me if in a giraffe You: Are you a giraffe Me: no

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How come Billy can only swim in circles? His right arm and right leg were amputated because he scraped his left arm.

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Why dont you greet your friend Jack on a plane? because you will say "hi Jack"

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Q: what do you call a bunch of dead accountants? A: the holacost.

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What do you call two men kissing? Gay.

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What's the difference between a 7 year old boy and a 50 year old man? Hair.

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If you throw a red stone in a blue lake what does it become? Simply a wet stone.

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Q. Wheres your nan???? A. In my closet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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