Hey babe, do you like going to sleep without shoes on? Because most people find it more comforting to remove footwear in order to rest and relax peacefully during bedtime.

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Why was Mary's phone call suddenly disconnected? She was raped.

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Your mama is so fat. Just look at her.

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There are 2 muffins sitting in an oven. One muffin says "Damn, it's getting hot in here." The other muffing replies "Holy Shit! A Talking Muffin!"

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Adam Claypool is a fag. and his mother sweats my cum. Now that we got that out of the way lets get to the jokes.

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Why did the baby stop crying? I hit him with a brick.

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A black man walks into a bank with a gun. He then clocks in and takes duty because he is a security guard at the bank.

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Why did the boy lose the race? Because he is morbidly obese.

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A man goes to a doctor and says , "My arm hurts in 3 places." the doctor says, "Dont go to those places.

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a man walks out of his home and into a bar PLOT TWIST! he is a chicken

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I am pregnant And it's your baby

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How do you tell if a girl is pregant? Stick a banana up her vagina pull it out and see if it has a bite on it

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I am not under the alkafluence of inkahlol. The drunker I am, the longer I get.

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A straight man walks into a gay bar and is amazed by the amount of fun he has and how cool people can be when you don't judge someone based on sexual preference or your own religious beliefs.

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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Why couldn't little Jimmy play catch with his dad? Because he was an orphan.

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Whats the best way to take down a skycraper? -Crash a plane into it-

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Why did the mokey board the westbound train? I said gray umbrella noodle head!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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"I like my women like I like my spare tires, in the trunk of my car." -Paul Alangadan

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Roses are red, Violets are violet, hence the name Violets.

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Guess what? what. You guessed it!!

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Why did the Iraqi airline crash? The pilot was a tomato.

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Why is the turkey always full? Because he is stuffed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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