Q:How many babies does it take to paint a room? A:It depends how hard you throw them

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and the final bell wrung then they started the mtch and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing that you say when you don't want to fight and ypu let the other person win?" The other guy says, "I give up?" Then the challenger says, " I WIN!!!"

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Friends are like potatoes. If you eat them, they die.

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Three guys walk into a bar. The four man hastily ducks, grabs his phone and calls the local paramedic.

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Watching your house burn down and your family scream in pain as their flesh burns and you suffer from chronic depression.

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How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

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Why was the tree sad? Because a bird shat on it.

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how does cody get laid? he doesnt.

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A White and a Chinese got in a fight, who won? None. The fight was unable to begin because a color is not a living organism.

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how many baby's does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them

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What's the Capitol of Washington dc? W

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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What do an elephant and a grape have in common? Well, depending on your ideological views they are either both God's creations or two examples of species which have evolved over time. That is all.

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What do you call a black guy going into mcdonalds A great opportunity to make a raciest joke

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Why did the hockey cross the road? To get to KFC.

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What's the color of a retarde dogs hair? 69

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What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

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A lamp of light That shines so bright Except when it is night A glow up high You wonder why It moves across the sky. What am I? A blogger who posts jokes on AntiJoke.com.

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Oh you expected a funny joke? Oh well

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A man sat down Then he stood up

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What's up? Your time.

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When life throws you lemons, duck.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Ham and Cheese!

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What did the farmer say to the survivor of the plane crash that just crashed on his land? "Need a band-aid?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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