What did the little girls who's parents died in a car accident get for her birthday? Foster Parents

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the sea say to the sand? Nothing, he just waved.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why cant blondes water ski.......... because whenever they split their legs they feel somthing wet

thumb_up thumb_down +7

There once was the worlds most important people on an airplane. All of them. They were a Boy Scout with a hiking pack, World's Oldest person, World's Smartest person, a Scientist who had the cure to cancer, and the World's Richest man. The Pilot told them that the plane was running out of gas and they would have to bail. But there was a problem, two people were going to have to die. They were only two parachutes short. So the Scientist grabbed one and said, "I'm the only one with the cure to cancer I've got lives to save." And he bails. Then the World's oldest person jumps out with a parachute saying, "I Still Have A Life To Live!!!" Then the Richest person realizes there is two parachutes left. He says, "I have the most money so I have to go because I could save America from going bankrupt." Grabs a chute and jumps. Then, the world's smartest person just happens to be so selfish and bails with the last Parachute. So the Pilot and and the Boy Scout were left. The pilot was kind enough to let the Kid go because he still had he longest life to live. But the kid said no, we could both go. The pilot said no you go. The kid was still being stubborn. And said No, we could both go, The world's smartest person took my back pack, there is one chute left, we could share it. And so they both jumped and landed safely on the ground. And that was the end of the World's smartest man.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you get a clown off a swing? Hit it in the face with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Women's Rights...

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a blonde doctor? Doctor

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: I heard this joke before but I can't remember

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Scenario: 2 people are in a desert. There is only 1 bottle of water left to drink. Who drinks it? Neither of them, they drink the gallon bottle of gatorade instead.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Back in my day,we used to have Johnny Cash,Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have higher divorce rates.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why didn't gram-pa give his grandson a Birthday present? Because he had Alzheimer's and forgot about him.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Why did the man write with a pen on paper? Because he was writing a novel.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What have a blueberry and a raspberry got in common? They both can't ride a skateboard

thumb_up thumb_down -1

4 men walk into a bar... Don't jump to conclusions! They were gay.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why does mcguigan get made fun of ? Because he is gay with Jack Walsh

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did Juliet tell Romeo before they kissed? Kiss me Romeo

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? Ask the starving African.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

60+8.99999999=68.99999999 soo close

thumb_up thumb_down -28

phone and phone charger were talking to each other suddenly a massive hand swopped down to the charger and another hand came down and grabbed the phone they both started screeming so the hand stabbed the phone with the phone charger so the phone said... ALL I DID WAS SCREEM (RANDOMZZZ) (L.W)

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why did the packers win the superbowl? because they were very good

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did zero say to ten? I see you found someone

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the girl jump of the control tower??? She didnt I lied.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

In Soviet Russia, life was very hard due to the failing economy and oppressive government.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Yo momma so normal, she got married, had three kids and then lived a dull but contented life.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops