Why did the kid lose his mom? She was shot.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education. It is also possible that he was chosen for the position because of acquaintances or family members who were also employed by the company, but many people would consider it impolite to bring up this possibility, as it might be construed as denigrating the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study.

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Liars go to hell! -God

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Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on Sarah Jessica Parker.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the seat next to you? A: Whatever his name happens to be.

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how many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? one and a ladder

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Why did the blind man laugh at the book. He didn't

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Why did the Armadyl godsword penetrated full Bandos? Because the AGS went up its tassets

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What's black on top and white on the bottom? Half an oreo

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What do you do to vegetables to make them taste good? Nothing. They are still people, and they can't speak up for themselves.

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When crossing the river, why the old lady die? She was hit by a falling brick that fell from an airplane.

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Un petit gars se plante en vélo et il se met à pleurer.

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What's the difference between a Jew that is half Jewish and a Jew that is fully Jewish? 1/2

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once upon a time, a bird fell in love with a fish.. they both died.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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If you say woman really fast it sounds like make me a sandwich.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his dying grandma in the hospital

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Please give money to a local Jew we have had such a bad time please ONLY people who are Jews.

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Why did the kid cross the road? He was strapped to a chicken!

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what happened to walt disney when he died? nothing he was frozen and has been for many years now

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two muffins were in an oven, one muffin said to the other, " ohmygod! its so hot in here!" the other muffin said,"AHHHHHH!!!! its a talking muffin!!"

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The tall man says; How's theweather downn there? he's talking to smurf

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How do you get a black person out of a tree? You grab a ladder and help them down.

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The awkward moment when you don't know whether to like or dislike this because you think I want like so you are gonna dislike but what If I want dislikes, but what if I want likes, you are confused Antijokeception....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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