What did the little orphan girl get for christmas? nothing her parents are dead

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Nero, I am happy to hear from you again, but it kinda sounds like you are going to get yourself killed or something. Is there something else I can do? If that asshole is suffering, kill him after he is done doing it, I am done with that piece of shit. Honestly, what is going on Nero? You are not going to suicide or something are you? Please respond, right away, or I wont call your wife.

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A man begged for forgiveness, for a sin commited Jesus forgave him, Jesus loves you

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i like my rose red and my diamonds blue your screamin mercy so did ur mom but i killed her to

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor

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Why did the dog die? He was old

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Why are asians so smart? Because they study very hard and learn the material.

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.ellipsis { text-overflow: ellipsis; /* Required for text-overflow to do anything */ white-space: nowrap; overflow: hidden; }

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I hated the Reading festival, i'm dyslexic. I hated it because my family died in a housefire while I was there.

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How do you kill a baby quickly? The better question is why kill a baby quickly?

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Rex Ryans foot fetish was honer by Mark Sanchez when he threw the ball at his teammates feet.

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David Cameron

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whenever you come out of emma browns bedroom

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How do you punish Helen Keller? Send her to her room until she becomes civil enough to explain what was causing her misbehavior.

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What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable? Putting her back in the wheelchair

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Why was the black man hanged? He was charged with piracy in the 1500s..

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one. Any more than that and they would just be getting in each others way.

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What did the grass say to the human "Hey" The human then screams and runs to safety

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What in the world is that thing in her butt!!!

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What did St. Mary Magdalene tell Pontius Pilate during the crucifixion of Christ? All this chaos is making me CROSS-eyed!

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Why did octopus cross the road? Because the road was underwater

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Q: What does a baby look like in a microwave? A: I don't know, I don't masturbate with my eyes open.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme coffee table.

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why are black people so good at basketball? Because they can shoot steal and run and they keep brass knuckles in there waste band.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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