Why did the bird fall out of the tree?" "Because it was dead?" "No. Becaus it was stapled to the squirrel.

What has four wheels, two wings, and flies? A bird...I was kidding about the wheels.

why did the chicken cross the road? because yo mama so fat and the pig ate my poop

Knock Knock! It's me! Hello? Hello! Why didn't they answer him? He was at the desert, with a disconnected phone. Also, my Captcha for this is "lose face" Good job solf mediya

Why didn't cancer cross the road? Because it was to busy taking my family.

You wanna know something that doesn't exist? Grandma's.........that haven't given BLOW JOBS!

Why did the man fall down? Because he was pushed of a 5 story building

A muslim walks into a gun shop

What do you call a black man flying a plane? The Pilot.

How do you kill someone? Shoot them. How do you kill someone with a knife? Shoot them How do you kill someone in a car? Shoot them How do you kill someone in a jet? Put the gun in the propeller

Roses are red Violets are blue I have ADD Oooh a cloud

Womans baksetball...

What's worse than finding gum on your shoe? Being molested by a sea urchin.

A black guy walks into a bar with a beatiful parrot on his shoulder. "Wow," says the bartender. "That is really something. Where'd you get it?" The parrot was his fathers. Do to severe mental and physical illness, he can no longer take care of it. He asked his son to take it, those were his last words as he slipped into a coma

This joke isnt funny.

What's worse than a bee sting? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

Water, please.

I know what makes young boys "explode" -dynamite

Barak Obama, Justin Bieber, and Lindsey Lohan all jump out of a plane. all of their parachutes deploy. except Justin Bieberrs, he then dies of cancer

what did Stan say to Dave? nothing, Dave died 500 years before Stan was born, thus he said nothing.

Fart

What did cancer get for Christmas? Another 6 year old boy

Why is the fat man fat? Because he has an extremly bad metabolism which makes him gain two pounds from eating one cheeseburger

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are rather unintelligent animals which clearly underestimate the dangers of crossing a busy road.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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