How did the girl get rid of a fever? She took medicine.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

You're mother is so retarded that I probably shouldn't be making fun of her because it would be considered discriminatory.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

If I give you 5 dollars, and you give me 5 dollars, then we both still have 5 dollars, which when combined will equal 10 dollars. Meaning we could buy something that cost's 10 dollars or less. But we should probably also factor in tax, so we should only buys something that costs a little over 9 dollars.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you kill a black person? Make them skydive 10,000 feet in the air without a parachute

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

An Englishman, an American and a Frenchman are standing on the side of a cliff. The Englishman jumps off the cliff. The American also jumps off the cliff. He is followed by the Frenchman. Suicide and depression are major problems in today's world regardless of nationality.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Who is blue and smells like green paint? Matt Daly

thumb_up thumb_down +2

God made rivers God made lakes God made you We all make misstakes

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is colored and looks good hanging from trees? Oranges. Get your mind out of the gutter!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

LIKE FOR GANGNAM STYLE. DISLIKE FOR JUSTIN BIEBER LETS SEE WHO WINS

thumb_up thumb_down -17

your face

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I am the best i am the worst My wife was buried in hearse

thumb_up thumb_down -11

You know what's catchy? A cold

thumb_up thumb_down

Why don't aliens eat clowns? Because they taste funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why was the man with cancer bald? He wanted to tan his scalp.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Your mama's so fat that when she farted, gas came out!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q:what did batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile? A:get in the batmobile

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Nobody likes you.

thumb_up thumb_down +126

A lesbian and a gay both lie about there gender on eharmony, trying to get a date with someone there own gender. By coincedene, they get matched and go on a date, and both of them realize how weird this situation is and go home.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the cow have a pain in his stomach. It has testicular cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

How did the man lose his arm? beacuse of the five year old with a knife obsesion standing right beind you at this minute...

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Banana Yoshimoto. A popular Japanese author of the book, Kitchen. She is incredibly talented and it would be a great honor to have her in your house, so you should open your door.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What is the difference between a rose and a grape? They are both purple.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops