Why did the surrealist go to the doctor? Knock Knock.

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Axel? Its Eliza, is that you? You alive again? I don't want to be no successor of anything, but thanks I guess. Neo-Nero has not shown up since you returned, I think he isn't very proud of himself and wont be a problem here on forward. He did push me aside, but now that you are alive, I wont even consider the thought of you "dying again" and unless you are dying or seriously ill, I don't want to hear anything about it. Seriously, how bad are you doing? Physically I mean? I am relieved, I mean we all thought you where dead.

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Here is the worst joke ever. ..... Dislike this and you are awesome!! P.S. I'm serious. I want to make a joke with the MOST DISLIKES ever! Don't think this is reverse psychology. I don't do that shi*t.

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what's worse than 10 dead babies in one trash can? 1 baby in ten trash cans

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your moms so fat she has a heart attack when she walks to the pantry.

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Why didn't the ghost go to the dance? He didn't exist.

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What was the pirates favorite letter? Q.

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? He has retinopathy of prematurity and was born blind.

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-You know what will always get people fighting? -Hey, you wanna fight?

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Q: Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? A: Neither did she...

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Pen. Pen who? Pen is blue. The pen is blue. THE GOD DAMN PEN IS BLUE!!!!

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how many jews can you fit in a volkswagon? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and 6 million in the ash trey.

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Knock, Knock... Whose there? panther panther who? panth-er no panths im goin' swimmin'

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A man spots Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles. He proceeds to tell his friends the story, who in turn believe him, as the story is plausible.

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Your dick is short, If we compare it to mine. That was it, Thank you for your time.

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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Refrigerator

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"I can sell this watch for $500 dollars on the black market!" Well, you could sell your liver for $500 dollars on the black market too.

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So a man walks into a bar, And because he is dressed in such a way that was thought of as threatening to the general safety of the highly valued customers, he is shot eight times in the head.

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Creepy Man: Let's play the rape game Young Girl: No!!!! Creepy Man: That's the spirit

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What's green and has wheels? Boogers on a skateboard.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker Face

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what's black, white, and red all over? any red object

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what's worse than getting cancer.........nothing cancer is a pretty bad thing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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