well, I'm dying of AIDS, so....

thumb_up thumb_down -42

What did the doctor say to the obese person? You have diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why aren't there any painkillers in the jungle? because of the unethical and unscrupulous practices of big pharma

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why did the cow die because she ate poisoned apple pie

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Know what people hated the most? 9-11

thumb_up thumb_down +24

whats the difference between a chicken and a rooster. a rooster has a dick

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's tan, red, black and brown? Your face. Two days later... In the mausoleum. "Your face"

thumb_up thumb_down -3

The jets are a good team..

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the bungee jumper say to his wife? Honey, I'm going bungee jumping today.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Don't rape me!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Have you heard the joke about the cat? No Are you kitten me

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a black man in space? A space monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A black man walks in to a bar and says ouch! A jewish man walks in to a bar and later sews that same bar for he and the black mans injurys.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

When life hands you melons it means you're dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

blind man walks into a . . . .. .

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Nohypocondrism: When you feel fine and everyone keeps telling you you are a sick bastard. Charisma: Hey, that guy that changed my life killed the neighbor, cool rite? I mean that damn neighbor did say nothing to me when I said hi. Solitude: When the room is so overcrowded that you feel small and alone. I think that people that are jack of all trades and master of none are stupid... I AM JACK OF NO TRADES AND MASTER OF ALL! I am nothing, because nothing lives on forever, nothing is unbreakable, nothing is really awesome on a terrible day... I am also Nobody, because Nobody has more money than me.. FUUUUUUUU..

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How can you tell if a duck is behind you? Turn around

thumb_up thumb_down +2

i tried logging into my ipad. turns out, it was an etch a sketch, and i dont own an ipad. also, im out of vodka.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What does? 42

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What did the rich white student to the poor arabian teacher? good morning Mr.Stevenson.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

feminine literature

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a black man on a bike? A hard-working individual who found a steady job and earned enough money to buy a bicycle of his own which he rides to and from his job because he is healthy, doesn't like to waste money on gas, and doesn't like the pollution automobiles put into the air.

thumb_up thumb_down +872

Why did Sally fall off her bike? Because she had no legs. Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. What did Sally get for Christmas? Cancer. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally...

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops