Anti pick up line: Boy: If I could re arrange the letters I would put U and I together. Girl: Oh really because if I could rearrange the letters I would put F and U together By Adam Chebali

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what did the Alaskan homeless man get for Christmas? Death

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So a man walks into a bar, And because he is dressed in such a way that was thought of as threatening to the general safety of the highly valued customers, he is shot eight times in the head.

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When life gives you lemons you squirt them in someones eyes and steal what life gave them.

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what electronic vegetable sits in a chair? stephen hawking

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Why did the white boy not make his high school basketball team? Because he was not as good as the other players.

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Aww, I knew you where a sweetheart at the core Nerochan, I mean I look up towards people that don't give a jack about what others think but I am not as good at it as you are. Now can you please spam that away like really quickly now?

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What's bue and sticky? -A blue stick.

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What is black and burns really well? charcoal.

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I met her back in the 80s when she was a man.

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Why did the bald man die? Cancer.

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How did the Jew his German neighbor? Every morning the Jew says hello and the German replys hello

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Relax, and I do not mean as in hypnotic "relax as you do not not... Okay I used it again I am just joking" Nice, so are they like pretty doubles or not?

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Do you know what a zombie smells like? Death

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Have you ever tried Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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What is better than a 50-inch wide plasma flat screen TV? A 51-inch wide plasma flat screen TV.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The mailman The mailman who? How dumb are you?

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would run away too if your name was urdaagaa.

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The word you are looking for is charm, not seduction, I am above such things, and while I have no reason whatsoever to believe either one of us can gain anything from going "eye for an eye", I am sure I can offer whatever financial and even specialized assistance you might require in order to get that eye of yours seeing clearer than before... Worry not, I shall outlaw the name Nero and all the derivations and similarities from my Order, unless someone named Nero actually happens to come by of course...

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What do you call a woman when you're inside her? Mom.

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A Brunette a ginger and a blonde were getting their hair done? WHich side of the bus did they sit on? Why did i put a question mark on the first part?

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Q; What do you call a dog? A; A dog.

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Why did the homosexual rapist walk into the pizza shop? Because he was hungry after a long day of raping little boys.

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What's better than winning gold at the special Olympics? Not being retarded. - Blake Woodman

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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