What did the leper say to the prostitute? Hello Prostitute.

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God said "let there be light" Chuck Noris said "say please

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Why is Joe is ugly? I dont Know

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what did jesus say to moses? jesus isn't real

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Why couldn't Simon run? Because he had Cerebral Palsy.

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- Knock knock - I have a doorbell

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet up with his friend that was on the other side.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Bananas can't talk.

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Why did the cow go moo, because its a cow

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Why did the man throw the woman off the cliffe? Tequilla.

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Past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense!

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A man entered into a house, because it hadn't any door.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? lts of stuff like murder, rape, slavery, poverty, mindcontrol, mass genocide, the holocaust, racism, plagarism, physichal assault, war, terrorism, massacres, onsloughts, necrophillia, the dead rising, zombies, jokes on antijokes.com, awkward situations, dieing, cancer, ADHD, other mental illnesses, paint, the grim reaper, shinigami, stereotyping foreigners, prejudicism, bullying, armed robbery, hacking, viruses, incest, feral animals, getting lost in the forest, arsonry, pyromania, passing out in a bar, meeting a serial killer, and finding 2 worms in your apple.

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The joke below is absolute shit.

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finding nemo didnt make sense how could a shark go on a no fish diet

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there once was a black man who played basketball

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How did Jesus walk on water? Jesus is God in the form of a man, and he is the only human being ever with the ability to perform miracles

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Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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how does an elephant ask for a bun? may i please have a bun?

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A depressed horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "Millions of years of natural selection." The horse then tries to drink away his sorrows, but the alcohol is only a temporary release from the pain he's feeling. He kills himself the next day.

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Why did Susie fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms or legs. Why did Susie drown? Because she fell in a puddle. Knock knock Who's there Not Suzy!

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Congratulations, sir. The judge has determined that the charges of traffic violation against you were indeed incorrect, and you will be given a large sum of cash for your wasted time.

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Why did nobody like the famous singer? Because she was Rebecca Black.

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Q: Why was Sally crying? A: Because someone punched her in the face

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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