Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball? Because skeletons are no longer sentient beings and cannot move.

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If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

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What do you say when someone attempts to steal your cheese? Give me my cheese!!!

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A blonde walks into a bar; she orders and enjoys her drink and then leaves with her thirst quenched.

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So I went to an audition, my friend said "break a leg" And then I did

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The ten year old in my trunk

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Why did Visellet stop eating cherries? Because she choked on a pit and died.

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What do you get when you cross a turtle and a kangaroo? A hybrid combination of the two that is characterized by specific traits of both animals.

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Why did the man go to the barber? To get a haircut

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How did Harry potter open the door? He had the key

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A terrorist gets on a plane. He has a pleasant flight and gets off in a new country.

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Q. What does the pencil and the basketball have in common? A. They both are made from wood, except for the basketball.

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What is the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench is a piece of wood, while the black man is a human being.

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What was the doctor's shirt made out of? Cotton

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A man walks into a bar and sees a large jar filled to the brim with $20 bills. He asks the bartender why there is so much money in the jar, and the bartender tells him that he has a horse in the back of the building, and he has a bet that if someone puts $20 in the jar and can make the horse laugh, then they will win all the money. The man, feeling confident, puts his money into the jar and tries to make the horse laugh. It is a horse, so of course he cannot make it laugh. He leaves, dejectedly, having just wasted 20 of his hard earned dollers.

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"What is the sound of one hand clapping?" "I'm not quite sure, but your on fire."

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Women's rights.

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Why was the boy embarrassed when he opened his parents' bedroom door? Because he had been trying the door for several minutes until he realized he was pushing instead of pulling.

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the awkward moment when a fat person says they are fat

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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A duck walks into a bar *************************** Later that day the homeless man had duck for dinner.

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Why did the little boy fall of his bike? He was dead.

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A n antelope walks into a bar and many people leave for the sake of their safety and animal control gets called to escort the antelope out of the bar.

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What's black and white and red all over? A bloody zebra.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops