When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, the holocaust didn't actually happen, besides I hate jews

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So, there's a lion loose in Colchester. Should've gone to Specsavers... [L]

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What is white and smells like wood? White painted wood

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My room is a mess, Violets are still blue

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WELCOME TO THE GARLIC BOYS SHOW! So kids, what are we gonna eat today? POTATOES! FUUUUUUU! Moral: You say tomata, I say WROOOOOOOONG, you say cheap I say your mother.

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"Would you like to see our stool samples?" asked the salesman. 10 minutes later, I left with 3 new bar stools.

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ure mama's so fat

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What do you call a boy that was once a boy, but no longer is a boy? A Man

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What did the cannibal eat for breakfast? Waffles.

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What does the color 9 smell like? Purple, because aliens don't wear hats

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jack shine and keiran = nate robinson

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Whats worse than an offended chicken walking around with a squirrel stapled to its back? A crusty old man with hepatitis peeing on 10 babies.

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Knock knock. Who's there? You. You who? That's the joke.

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Feminine hygiene jokes aren't funny. Period

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What did the archangel Michael say to Jesus? "Hello, Jesus."

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A man walks into a bar with a dog. The bartender says that there are no dogs allowed, but the man says that he is blind. So the man sits down with his dog and asks for a drink. The bartender decided to check to see if he was really blind, so he says, " Hey, do you know what time it is?" The blind man replies, "7 o'clock," The bartender says, "Ha! You said you were blind! Get out of..." but was interrupted by the man, who promptly said, "No, I'm deaf," and left.

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.......ah shit i forgotten the joke

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How do you make a frog stand still? Shoot it.

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Why did the unicorn cross the road? i dont know. unicorns arent real

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Scenario- A wedding while skydiving. Problem- The groom lost his parachute. Question- Who stole it? Hint- The Maid of Honor didn't have one either, but he had one on his body when he hit the ground. Answer- The mailman, but he died of old age.

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What's faster than a black man carrying your TV? The law enforcement that promptly catches him and is about to charges him with theft regardless of his ethnicity because stealing someone else's property is just generally an unlawful thing to do.

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Roses are blue Violets are buckets this poem makes no sense Washing machines

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What's long and hard, and has cum in it? A cucumber

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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