How do you get a one-armed clown out of a tree? Hit it in the face with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Nobody likes you.

thumb_up thumb_down +127

Why did the car's airbag go off? He hit a boy eating his ice cream

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call a cow with no legs? A leg-less cow

thumb_up thumb_down -16

how do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The fridge is on its side, the door is torn off, and the ruined food scattered all over the floor. Not to mention there is an elephant in your kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

George W. Bush

thumb_up thumb_down -6

how many alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb? usually one but depending on the severity of the patients' case the lightbulb will be changed by a person who is willing to offer their assistance as to prevent any form of accident taking place.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what did the 14 year old boy get for christmas? nothing because he his sitting in prison for killin his parents and is serving a life sentence.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why couldn't Sophie brush her hair? She had leukemia

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Okay, so your school has a fire drill, and a ginger asks why the alarm went off. You reply, “Some new kid saw your hair and pulled the fire alarm

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why can't Hellen keller drive? Because she's a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock, knock! Who's there? Mary Mary who? Mary Smith.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Today, my doctor discovered I had a tumor in my brain the size of a walnut. FML.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What's the difference between a black man and a bench. The bucket.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A fairly-priced Apple computer.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the bus driver lose his family in a car accident? Bc the little boy was seeking revenge

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do you say to a jew with blood on his leg? Are you okay?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How do you cure aids? Jonathon siezed to care as he proceeded to cry when he was told his lemons were over the weight of what he'd expected

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why didn't the Priest have a TV ? A black man stole it

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the boy fall of his bike? He's learning to ride and understandably lost his balance.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

An orange walks into a bar....orange you glad I didn't say banana?!?!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what's round, hairy, has eight legs- but isn't a spider? A spider.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops