whats the difference between a bird and a turtle? they can both fly but the turtle cant

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Irish man English man and a Scottish man all in a plane they jump out then they land

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What do you call a really old Cowboy? A senior citizen with a brain tumor.

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What do you call a bloody Jewish guy nailed to a piece of wood. Jesus

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whats a great gift to share with small children? Ebola

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what's worse than getting hit by a car? getting hit by a truck

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What's worse than getting arrested? getting arrested on your birthday.

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What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Two blondes get in a taxi. Who's driving? The taxi driver.

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A black guy and an apple fall out of a tree, which one hits the ground first? They both hit the ground roughly at the same time, because the acceleration due to gravity is constant.

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What are we then hypocrites?

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I believe that as long as we do not change, as we decide to believe in ourselves and use our strength and potential, all that is left, is to see which side fate favors. Maybe we are meant to survive trough our strength and belief in ourselves and each other, or maybe we are, or will eventually end up as the last people of our kind, and fade away from life, proving that those that trust in the corrupt, where better than us. Suddenly I feel so alone.

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A guy watches TMJBtv on YouTube. He then shoots himself.

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went to mass. remembered to say with your spirit.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the Shell Station.

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How do you make a dentist cry? Rape him in the ass.

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Dad they tell me I am homosexual at school, what does it mean? Ask your boyfriend.

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Knock knock Who's there? The Gestapo, time to go to Auschwitz.

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What starts with "m" and rhymes with monkey? Platypus

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Why couldn't the blond turn the TV on? Because she is blond.

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Why did the woman stop running? She was an escaped convict that had been on the run for twelve years and the police had finally found the place where she was hidding. Upon arriving at her house she started to open fire on the three police cars, hit two cops and killed one more. The two are fine and are going through physical therapy as they were both hit in the spine and have a difficult time performing the smallest task. The one was one called billy. Billy had died in the hospital after asking if they had got her. He died believing a lie. They never got her. She is still on the run, I lied about her stopping.

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What's bigger than a horse ? An elephant.

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Why did the world not end in 2012? Because the Mayans were drunks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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