a man and a woman are standing at a bar. they have a few drinks and then go home and die.

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Who am I? Your name is Harvey Jackson. Let's get you dressed so we can go downstairs for dinner. Nurse Holland will be helping you in a few moments.

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A leper sees that a woman has dropped a bag of groceries on the sidewalk. "Hey ma'am, can I give you a HAND?" asks the leper. "No thank you, sir. I can manage." replies the woman. "That's a relief," laughs the leper, shyly. "I am quite weak due to leprocy."

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Anti-Joke Memes Are Obviously Not A Thing

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You remind me of something What? Monday Why? Nobody likes you

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was uneducated and was not aware of the dangers of streets in heavily populated cities.

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What's worse than slipping on a bannana peel? The Gestapo. Go to Aushwitz now.

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what do u call a blonde in the libary? alexandra wallace

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I dream of a world where chickens can cross the road and not have their motives questioned.

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tiger woods played golf against peyton manning and yet tiger still cant win.

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Steve: Ask me if I'm a tree. John: Are you a tree? Steve: No.

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom T H E R E ' R E A L L D E A D!!!

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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please thumbs this up to help rhinos with boners thank you

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Whats funnier than 2 dead babies? Seinfeld, and I hate Seinfeld.

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How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

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Whats the difference between a bench and a black man? A bench is an inanimate object incapable of speech, emotion, or thought process.

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It is cruel to want a "sky full of lighters" as, according to the Laws of Gravity, the lighters will eventually come back down to earth and incinerate everything below them.

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what did the man do when he went to save the other man from drowning? drowned with him...

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Read a Book.

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What's the difference between Rebecca black and your mom? Capitalize Black.

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A blind man walks into a bar. The next day he goes out and buys a new seeing eye dog.

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so a blind man walks into a bar, then a chair, then a table.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops