A guy has spikey things in his butt, what happened?............... He fell on a cactus.

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knock knock There's no door

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Want to hear a joke? Justin Bieber

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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A man calls 911 911: hello? Man: sorry wrong number.

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What do you do when someone tries to rob you at gunpoint Well first thing you have to do is think why am I in this situation? Then what can I do to avoid this again Finally think about how you're going to pay your medical bill. You were to busy thinking, to notice you just got shot and robbed.

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What's beneath Chuck Norris's beard? A chin I presume, as that is what most humans have under their beards. Chuck Norris is a human and therefore is likely to have a chin. This is all based on the assumption that he is a human, because of the many characteristics he has shown that are humanlike.

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What does Santa get for Christmas? Chikungunya Fever.

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What did the fat kid get for Christmas? Diabetes......

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A black guy walks into a bar. He falls unconscious and an ambulance is quickly called to bring him to the hospital.

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Your momma's so fat, diet and exercise would probably save her life!

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You wanna hear a joke? The 19th amendment. Just kidding, women are actually a very valued part of our society. Just kidding again.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Why did the kid fall off his bike? His mum threw a fridge at him.

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What has four legs, and smells when it's wet? A wet dog.

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Why did susie fall off the swing? Because an arrow penetrated her head.

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your momma is so old, she has heart problems

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João Duarte reads this.

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Never-mind that, you've got AIDS.

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What boy with no arms get on his birthday? Lego.

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Your so stupid that when during your baseball game your third base coach told you to run home, you did. The next day, you failed your test.

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What do you call Batman with a knife in his chest? Dead

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what's the funniest anti joke? not this one

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What do you call Mexicans who go to jail? Criminals.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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