Man #1: What was the hardest part about watching that kid get hit by that bus? Man #2: My dick...

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead." It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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a man killed wife. he successfully rid the scene of all evidence and buried the body under a bridge. unfortunately he forgot to bury the head and went to jail for life.

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What's worse than no wifi Nothing.

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Why was Jenny walking home alone from school? Because three years ago her parents were murdered brutally by a drug dealer and social services haven't yet realised that Jenny is still living in the empty house.

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What do you call a prison inmate with no arms or legs? John. That's his name.

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It is cruel to want a "sky full of lighters" as, according to the Laws of Gravity, the lighters will eventually come back down to earth and incinerate everything below them.

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What starts with a P and ends with a O-R-N? Popcorn

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What did the cashier say to the blonde? That will be $5.39, would you like a receipt?

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What do you call hunter ? An anerexic that is skinny as a tooth pick. Duh

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Not the World Trade Center.

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What's the difference between a dead dog and a dead black man on the road? One's a dog and one is a man, but more importantly the differences shouldn't be noted in a miserable occasion such as this as both are unfortunate tragedies. Also, one has a big penis.

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a man texted his wife saying "hey sexy, how was your day?(;" unfortunately, she never replied because she got in a cr accident and died from texting while driving.

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What starts with Pu and ends with Y, And homosexuals tend not to like them. "Pushy" People.

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Dad, why are we Swedish? Because antilopes and the butterfly effect son.

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What did the lighthouse say to the tree? Nothing because they are both unatimate objects and cannot speak

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What's black and white and red all over? A dead Zebra

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There were three men walking across the road and it started to rain

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A unicorn, a smart blonde, a dragon, and a hobo are in a maze who gets out first? The hobo. The other 3 don't exist. By Adam Chebali

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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Why was the black man arrested? Tax evasion.

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A Jew man gets on a train. He sits down and a hour and a half later he is dropped of at his proper destination.

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Snapple fact #572: You're a terrible person.

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a read head, a brunet, and a blonde sneak into a merchant ship. security hears some noises and goes on to investigate. all three girls jump into banana sacks. security guard kicks the first sack with the read head in it and she growls like a dog, so the security sees its a dog and keeps on walking. he then kicks the sack with the brunet in it, she goes on to hiss like a cat. so then the security guard kicks the last sack with the blonde in it, and she yells out "bananas!"...the end

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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