What's green and invisible? This cabbage in my hand.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

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How many ants does it take to fill an apartment? It depends on the size of the apartment.

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never bring a knife to a gun fight. bring a sword.

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What did the child with no arms and no legs get for Christmas Cancer.

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Why do blondes where knickers? to keep their ankles warm

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So Jimmy's phsycology teacher is trying to think of beginnig lessons for her phsycology class. so she gets up and says "class, i want u anyone who thinks they are stupid to stand up." nobody stood up. then Jimmy stands up. The teacher says "Jimmy, u think u are stupid?" Jimmy replies "No, i just felt bad with u standing up all alone."

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Roses are red Violets are blue Hop in the van or I will rape you

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Why do people waste there time writing Anti-Jokes Becuase they enjoy there right to the 1st ammendment and who are we to question it

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Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

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why did the kid fall off the swing? someone threw a fridge at him

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What is covered in red and has two legs? Half a cat.

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How many dueche bags does it take to change a light bulb? 0 They're two complete unrelated things

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nothing drews nose is f**ing hilarious

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What's brown, dirty, and smells like feces? Feces

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A Blonde Goes On "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

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Why was the black guy convicted of a crime he didnt commit? Because in The American social syste

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Why did the donkey fall over Because it had A diabetic foot infection and had to have a non traumatic amputation of the lower hind leg.

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin boys? Thomas and David after his father and grandfather.

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A homeless man walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says it'll be $4.50. The homeless man doesn't have any money so he leaves.

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Q.How do you kill a Zombie? A. You can't Zombies are fictional monsters that do not exist in our reality. instead why not focus on killing other things such as, Terrorists, Ants and People who piss you off

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Q: What's black and blue and hates sex? A: The 8-year-old boy tied up in my garage.

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Yo mamma is so fat, when Dracula bit her, he got type 2 diabetes.

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How do you make lady gaga cry? Give her bad romance haven't you heard this joke before......DUMBASS

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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