A man walks into a bar, sits down and the bartender comes over and asks him what he wants to drink. The man replies, "Carrot Juice."

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Why did the girl go fishing? Because she was the bait

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When is a bus not a bus? When it turns into a street

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whats big and can vibrate after you turn it on? A washing machine.

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Friends are like potato, when you eat them die.

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What do you get if you mix razor blades with babies? An erection.

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Man #1:Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Man #2: I don't know Man #1: Because he died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Man #2: Because he died? Man #1: Yep. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Man #2: Really? Come on, I've already answered your stupid question. Man #1: JUST ANSWER! Man #2: Fine, because he died. Man #1: No, peer pressure. Duh. Man #2 promplty punches Man #1 in the face and continues about his buisness.

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what is the difference between lizzy and a momma hippo........ lizzy doesnt bathe.

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So I was walking down the street the other day, I went to the shop.

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Have you heard about the hipster paleontologist? He liked dinosaurs better when they were underground.

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Suzie has no arms and no legs and is on a swing. what happened? she fell and died knock knock whos there? not suzie.

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How do you fit a giraffe into a refrigerator? You cut it into pieces.

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Whats bloody and is dead. My son.

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what do you call a black man that killed somebody? a murderer.

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Did you know that if you get all your intestines, and laid it out across the floor in a line, you would die?

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Roses are red Violets are blue The more you know

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Transformers: Shadow of the Dark Risen Monday. The Autobots starring in more explosions, more random fighting! Zero narrative nor explanations! One constant explosion trough the whole movie! But do not worry! Did you believe that the final battle versus Optimus Prime and his evil Dimensional counterpart Optimal Evilus would be the ones fighting at standing at the end? NO! This is far more exciting! 16 year old Nick is seeking the love of his life in the 42 year old grandmother Mirabella Torres, and ends up proving his love by pushing the button that instantly kills Optimal Evilus`s ultimate form Evilus Supreme! "WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?" Honest reviews. "Yeah we love it that part where Optimus Prime forgets who is fighting and beats the shit out of Jazz and his totally non racist MonkeyBot Obamabus, seriously, this needs to die" Transformers lovers. "You gotta love that scene where Megatron starts blowing up his own allies because explosions!" Transformersmoviefans.com. "So why did Optimus Prime refuse to kill his Evil dimensional brother thing? I mean he was from another dimension, why did he go around like "NO HE IS MY BROTHER IN SOME DIMENSION! YOU MUST INSERT THE SPARK INSIDE ME DEEP INSIDE ME NICKY! DEEPER!" People Magazine. "So this time they just made the Decepticon`s weakness a button so small only a human can push it huh?" People... Just people. "MY EAAAAAAAAARSSSS!" MICHAELBAYGAVEMEPTSD.ORG. Moral: Wow it says skynet is watching all the time now at solvemedia, unexpected considering the first thing I posted was the terminator XXXV thing. So, is it some sort of easter egg feature? I mean I would not believe myself if someone told me that.... Which is actually what makes this kinda creepy...

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Yo mama so ugly people don't like to look at her.

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What is white and black and red all over.

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One day I was walking in the forest when I saw a squirrel get hit by a van. It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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How do you keep black people from hanging around in your front yard? Hang them in the back..

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What is worse then your car getting hijacked? A 900 pound man eating a Donut.

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How many dead babies can you fit a bathtub??? It depends on how you slice them!

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How to apply total justice 1: Kill all humans! Moral: "Why do I have to die while he gets to live? Nobody gets to live? Sounds fair and just to me!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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