why was the man afraid of the tree? Because it ate his mother!!!!!!

Q: What's not funny and has two wheels? A: The Holocuast, I lied about the wheels.

Why did the asbestos cross the road? Because it was being removed from an elementary school due to the fact that asbestos is an air pollutant which is regulated under section 112 of the Clean Air Act of 1970.

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

What's a group of people that has an N, an I, two Gs, an E and an R that have no souls? Gingers.

If i had 100 dollars for every time a black president was assainted i would have 100 dollars in 4 months and six days.

I am aware that my positivity makes me do some bad mistakes, but if negativity is the alternative I will keep taking my chances.

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because she didn't want to be late for work.

An Arab walks into a bar. He then blows up the bar.

when the teacher asked jimmy if he was a girl jimmy felt very scared because his teacher had no mental problems.

yesterday, a girl asked me why a guy is Bro if he bangs alot of chicks, and chicks are hoes if they do alot of guys. i said to her “well, if one key can open a lot of locks, then it is the master key. if a lock can be opened by alot of keys, then it’s a shittyass lock, isn’t it

How did the blind man cross the road? With the use of a cane and a registered seeing eye dog

Knock knock! Who's there? Alzheimer's. Alzheimer's who? Knock knock!

Why did the jew put a parking meter on his roof.? ....So santa would have to pay to park.

Q:why is steven balmont gonna beat up mr fatty goral A:because hes a fat czech Shout out to my mandem lewis hall&moses

Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because the farmer let him out, and he found a road to cross!

What's long, hard, and full of semen? a penis.

Why was the broom late? Cause he overSWEPT!!! ahahahahahaha!

what's the difference between a dead baby and a lamborghini? I don't have a lamborghini in my garage!

what do you say to the preacher when he walks into church? i dont fu***** know, im jewish.

What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time

How many people with Alzheimers does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

What's the funniest part about this site? You're alone and reading this joke instead of getting a date.

Why Can't Asian women drive? a: Cause they are chink assholes who have only peripheral vision

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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