I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump!

Jake was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!!" The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway. His wife looks down and sees a scale.

Even dyslexic people attend church and pray to Dog.

How do you get a dog to stop humping you? Pick him up and suck his dick.

25

why did suzy drop her ice cream? she got hit by a bus. knock knock! who's there? not suzy.

A dog walks into a bar, looks at the bartender, lifts its leg and pisses on a bar stool. What does the bartender do ? He chases the dog out the bar and gets a mop to mop up the piss.

A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch."

An Irishman, an Englishman and a Scott land on an island. They were on vacation and returned to the UK, which consists of two isles.

When is a door not a door? When your burns down.

Roses are red, viotels are blue. God made me pretty, what happened to you?

So you into art? You been to Louvre by the way?

Police Report: A 100 year old man was beaten to death on his centennial birthday. Sources claim to say he was "getting his birthday punches"

Man 1: HEY DUDE! Man 2: Go shoot yourself

What do you say to a black man driving a car? Taxi

Knock Knock! Whos There? Little boy blew! Little boy blew who? Micheal Jackson....

What do you call a black person in 1780? A slave mostly...

So a girl says "I want to be a banana when I grow up". She's set unrealistic goals and her parents fear she may be autistic.

How do unwed mothers celebrate Mother's Day? The same way all mothers do.

what did batman say to robin before they got in the car? get in the car

What do you call a Muslim man flying a plane? The pilot.

How do you confuse a blond? Ask her to solve ( [3x - 3x^2 +1]^744 ) x ( [- 3x + 3x^2 +1]^745 )

A man walks into a bar. He has a nice drink and leaves.

Peas

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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