A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 20 years later he would gamble away his life savings and then go onto live a lonely and unfulfilled life.

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Knock knock, Who's there Why did the chicken cross the road? Idiot.

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Women Driving.

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Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings? A: Those that wear them think that said earrings positively accentuate their physical appearance.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

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A Polar Bear walks into a bar and says to the barman: "Barman! Give me a whiskey and ............................................................coke." The barman says: "Why the big pause?" to which the Polar bear replies: "Well uhm my father had big paws"

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A Russian drinking something other than vodka.

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A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

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knock knock come in

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Joke

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What is the hardest part of a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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What's sad about a dead person? He was my friend.

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Why couldn't Sally celebrate hollaween? Because she's not allowed to take candy from strangers. Also Sally died a week ago in a car crash.

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What did the hispanic say to the black guy? I'm not sure. I wasn't listening because eavesdropping is rude.

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What did the boy skip rocks with? -A rock

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What's worse than the holocaust? Another holocaust.

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Bumper Sticker: I Brake for Stop Signs

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Bailiffs.

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Yo mama is so fat that her doctor advised her to get some exercise or risk developing a heart condition!

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Why did the first Monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second Monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first Monkey. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Why wasn't the drunk driver arrested when he killed a man? Because he died as well.

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Guess what your birth certificate really is. An apology letter from the condom factory.

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: A penguin in a blender.

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"Lassie, Lassie, come quick! Timmy is in the well!" "I'm a dog," replies Lassie. "You folks have ropes, ladders, and opposable thumbs. What the hell could I possibly do to help?" With that final act of disobedience, Lassie was turned into fertilizer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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