What did the mentally retarded kid get in his iq test drewl

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why did the chicken cross the road? because colonel sanders was chasing it with an axe

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what did the homeless person get for Cristmas? nothing.

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What do you call a woman in a kitchen ? There rightful place.

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Yo mama so fat, her whole family is encouraging her to exercise and go on a diet.

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, it seem's that someone has been bathroom on my lawn. "Martha, I'm not cleaning this up"

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A man goes into a bar and gets drunk. He realizes that he is too drunk to drive and calls a cab to bring him home.

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What did the blade of grass say to the other blade of grass? Nothing, as grass does not have the capability of speaking and does not have a brain, all it has is a complex life system where it feeds off water. If it were to say anything though, it would say, "Hey! We're both blades of grass!"

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What's the difference between a dead cat and a dead woman? It is much more unlikely that you would have sex with a dead cat.

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What's Funnier than this joke? Lee Evans

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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What did the guy say when he died? nothing, he was dead

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A man named Hank, from Idaho takes a trip to Michigan. When he arrives, he rents a house and starts a meth lab. Hank is spending 7 years in jail. Hank was charged with stealing.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Mets.

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so a blind man walks into a bar, then a chair, then a table.

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So I was eating pancakes in my driveway...or were they waffles?

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What's worse than having a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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If life hands you melons, you might be dyslexic.

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why did the guy drop his umbrella........ because he was getting raped.

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How do you get Doctor Phil in a bikini? Give him a little alcohol to ease inhibitions and offer him a suitable bribe.

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Why was the white man poor? Because he could not hold a stable job for his wife and kids.

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Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7? A: He wasn't, it turns out 7 was afraid of 6 because 6 beat 7 up in high school

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Is your daddy a thief? Because he stole my wallet.

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Once upon a time, The end.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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