Why did the car slow down? Becuase the driver pressed the break

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are red Violets are blue Dandelions are weeds

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock Knock Who's there? Hello there. I am Elder Young and I with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. What would you say if someone were to offer you peace and happiness through all of eternity?

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Roses are brown, Violets are brown, Tulips are brown, I need to stop working on my flower garden after fisting a cows butthole.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why cant the asian find his family? His eyes were too squinty

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a group of black people? You don't You call the cops first.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: What's long and gray and kills people? A: A gas pipe.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Son: Mommy, Mommy can i have a cookie! Mom:Sure Honey there on the top shelf Son:But mommy i have no arms Mom:No arms, No cookies

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call a unicorn that is both invisible and pink? The Invisible Pink Unicorn.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He did not have sufficient stability in his arm at that moment causing him to loosen his grip and drop his ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's black, white and red all over? A nun that's just been shot.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock Knock ************************** No-one's home

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What happened to your face It got hit by a bus By cheyenne

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What was the comment at the bottom of this anti joke? come up with a better anti joke

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How did the chicken cross the road? Assuming the vehicles yielded to the chicken, it looked both directions before crossing then proceded across the street while staying between the crosswalk lines until it had reached the other side of the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what do you call a mixbreed of a bull dog and a shitzu? a sharpei

thumb_up thumb_down +45

what's faster than a jet? a speeding bullet. what's faster than a speeding bullet? light.

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock, Knock. I have no door.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did the chicken cross the road? When he first entered the world, Chicken was a lonely bird. Nobody else liked him. Not even his mother. He was small and scrawny, and whenever the farmer came to feed the pigs or shear the sheep, he would get scared and hide in between two pieces of wood. One day Chicken woke up and his family was gone. Although they had never loved him, his heart was tender, and he was desperately concerned for him. After hours of searching for them, he overheard Cow speaking to Horse: "It's a tragedy, really. They were such a happy family. But now their off to the land of KFC, forever lost in the sea of chicken wings. But Chicken was determined to change his family's fate. He escaped the barn and ran into the woods. There he traveled day by day, and at night he hid from the hungry wolves. Life in the forest was tough, but no tougher than the loss of loved ones, so he kept going. On and on and on, until the forest ended and the city began. It was a new world to Chicken. He had never seen so many different buildings and contraptions. His eyes had never before held the wonder of the majesty of such a strange place. After traveling through the dangerous alleys of the city, he finally found it: the terrible land of KFC. The place where humans' dreams begin, but chickens' end. The place of horror and death and unfairness. The place that summarized Chicken's whole life. He was here now. The only thing separating him from his family was a road. A road that was so small compared to his previous trials, so incomprehensibly tiny when placed Nextel to the gaping hole in his broken heart. So the chicken crossed the road. Then he got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock Knock, Who's there? Duck, Duck who? Duck Sandwich

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you make a fat kid cry? You hold an onion up to their face.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are Black Violets are black I am colorblind, are you to?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops