Why was the asian boy made fun of in the locker room? Because of the nipple piercing he had.

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How do you stop the neighbors kids jumping your fence and stealing your lemons? Molest them.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have cancer Nutella on muffin

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Augustus was touring his Empire and noticed a man in the crowd who bore a striking resemblance to himself. Intrigued, he asked: ‘Was your mother at one time in service at the Palace?’ ‘No, your Highness,’ he replied, ‘but my father was.

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A policeman asks a suspect in a murder investigigation about his alibi. The suspect gives him a solid alibi. The suspect go's home to his wife and have dinner.

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Past, Present and Future walk into a bar. It was tense...

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There are fewer coppers on sundays. As well as criminality.

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What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

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How come the bartender didnt let the black guys in the bar Because the bar was closed.noone was aloud in the bar

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If Selfish Sam has twelve cookies and Tricky Todd asks for three then how many cookies does sam have left? Twelve. Remember he's selfish

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Q: what do polo bears have for lunch A: iceburger

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How many Polacks does it take to change a lightbulb? Two, one to change the lightbulb, one to hold the ladder.

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What did the loser say to the winner? Good game

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Why did Kallum come to Getaway? Because he ran out of hats

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do you no what im doing? writing this joke.

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What's long and hard and full of semen? An erect penis at the climax of an orgasm.

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what do you call a blind man who buys a caller i.d.? handicapped

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Knock, knock. Come in.......

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What happens when you divide by zero? According to the limits in Calculus, 1/x as x approaches 0 becomes closer to infinity, so we can safely conclude that if we could divide by zero, it would be a form of infinity. Positive infinity for 1/0, negative infinity for -1/0 and unsigned infinity for 0/0, as zero has no sign.

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What do you get when you mix a bulldog with a shitzu? One delicious smoothie.

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Why did 3 blacks guys start watching the first Star Wars movie on Saturday night? They finished the Back to the Future movies on Friday.

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How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just beat it for being black.

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How many babies can fit inside a trash can? Seven.

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A girl is talking with her boyfriend - God, you're selfish!!! - No, i sell meat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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