How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker Face.

dyslexia is like gingervitus except they are exactly alike in possible little ways with gigantic raging boners CC

What did the zombie eat for breakfast? You. You fell a-sleep

today at school... I learned about all the core subject plus the additional electives.

Why did the boy miss the toilet when he was peeing? Cause he was in the shower.

Paddy Englishmen, Paddy Irishmen and Paddy Scotsman walk into a bar. They realise that they all share a common name and make a casual joke about it.

Q: Why MohammadReza Is a Bitch? A: Because he isnt a whore

Why did the black man go to prison? He committed a crime that had a penalty of several years in the state penitentiary.

A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

When life gives you ponies... get a new life!

Why did the paraplegic roll his wheelchair up a steep hill? Because he's crippled.

Why did the alcoholic stumble into a bar? Because he was bleeding profusely and was desperately seeking a telephone to contact the nearest hospital.

Your momma is so fat when she heard about the quater pounder she thought it was for a quarter.

friend' Knock Knock! you; no one home go away

what do you do if you see a black man covered in hot greece on the floor of the bus shelter? call an ambulance...

How did the magician make it look like there are 2 books on the table? By putting 2 books on the table

Friend: Do you want to go to the bar or see a movie first? Me: Yes.

What did the cast of sex and the city get for Christmas Nothing Sarah Jessica Parker is Jewish

Why was the dog barking? Because I lit him on fire.

How do you tell if there is an elephant in your refrigerator? Check for footprints in the butter.

Whats the best way to take the leaves off the tree? - Cut down the tree-

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are in a terrible ship crash that leaves them stranded on a desert island. All of their survival supplies sank with the boat so they don't last very long.

How do you make a clown cry? Kill his family

Q:So there's a black guy and a mexican sitting in a car...who's driving? A: The Cop

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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