What's the difference between a black man and a monkey? Millions of years of evolution

What does the orphan say to its parents? nothing, orphans dont have parents

Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell into the mud.

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms or legs.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Holy ****, I'm in heaven.

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because he was dead.

Knock Knock! Whos there? Doctor! Doctor who? exactly.. how did you know?

A man eats a piece of fried chicken A chicken that was days before retirement and had a pregnant wife and two children to look after

i fondle myself every night....

Why was the little girl sad? She had a grown man sexually assault her.

Knock Knock. Who's There? Billy. Oh, come on in. You could have just knocked on my door or rang doorbell without saying "Knock Knock" though, that's kind of childish.

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

Seth stock has a large penis

What's worse than AIDS? Not getting your sandwich.

what goes in hard and comes out soft? bubblegum, what were you thinking?

Everybody will die

Q: what's red and blue and covered in piss? A: everything. I'm so sorry.

Why did danielle drop her ice cream cone? Because she was diabetic and had a blood sugar of 5.

Roses are grey, Violets are grey. I'm colour blind, It's a very depressing situation.

What did the gay man say to the other gay man? Hey, we're both gay, let's have sex!

A white guy, spanish guy, and a black guy jump off a roof. They were all killed on impact and their families will mourn their loss for years to come.

A man walks into a resteraunt and joins his friends. Then he realized he had no friends. ~YN~

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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