What is the difference between Charlie Sheen and Michael Jackson? One is dead, one is not.

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Today, my doctor discovered I had a tumor in my brain the size of a walnut. FML.

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Q: What did the teen mom put her newborn daughter up for? A: Adoption

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Whats ironic about the Facebook "like" button? Nothing

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Customer: Waiter, waiter, there is a fly in my soup! Waiter: Sorry madam.

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What happens when you put an embryo in a blender? I don't know, I was too busy jerking off.

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Have you seen the newest starwars? What movie? I mean that episode where stars fight... Will Smith vs Keanu Reeves? I am talking about the stars in the sky firing at each other! You know, those star pilots on planes... Flown by Will Smith and Keanu Reeves? BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! (You heard that one in your head)

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A Jewish man with a 20 mile boner walks into a wall. Which body part hits the wall first? His nose

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Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school today? Because it is Saturday

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Knock Knock Who’s there? Tom Tom who? Tom Pearson? Oh Tom, I wasn’t expecting you til 3pm, please come in.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? An Irishman with a metal bar (like a pole)

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What is worse than Jerry Sanduski? Nothing

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What do all homosexuals have in common? Not much.

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what do jason kidd and michael jackson have in common? they are both actually black

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What's worse than getting a apple and finding a worm in it. Getting hit in the face with a meteorite.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in Milwaukee? They woke him up.

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Tim is a bald headed prick with an annoying voice and he looks like a clean shaven Walter White if he was on the same drugs that he was making and he looks like he smokes too much because the wrinkles on his forehead look like lips.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Okay

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3 jews are walking into a bar. the first jew orders a shot of vodka, drinks it and says "long live my family!" the second jew orders a shot of whiskey, drinks it and says "long live my friends" the third jew orders water, because he is the one that is driving tonight.

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A: I slept in your mums bed last night. B: don't care dad

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People spending hours typing nothing but cus words? Who does that?

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Q: what's black, white and red all over A: a penguin in a blender

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty one year olds? The orgasm.

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Yo momma is so fat, I gave her a cupcake and she enjoyed it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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