Bob: Hey bro Jim: ... Bob: You're dead! Jim: Yep.

Why'd the chicken cross the road? It was hit by an oncoming motorist in a busy intersection.

Yo momma's so fat she weighs more than the average woman of her age and height

Why did the girl break her leg? Because I pushed down the staircase.

Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his head.

Q. Why did Sally fall off the swing? A. Because she had no arms Q. What smells like red paint and is blue? A. Blue Paint Knock Knock? Who's There NOT SALLY

But that just reinforces the negative stereotype that women don't have penises.

Why was the women not in the kitchen? Because she was probably doing something else

You played so good! No, I played well. Okay??

What did the dog say to the tree? Bark.

How do you make a teacher cry? Shit in their water bottle.

In soviet Russia - some people were poor.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Thousands upon thousands upon thousands of dying infants.

There are four worms walking in a straight line. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The fourth worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied!

Why did the chicken cross the road? Some wild chickens have regular seasonal migration patterns that might require them to cross a road while traveling south. Wild chicken movements include those made in response to changes in food availability, habitat or weather.

How do u tourcheer a fat kid? Make him chase a dounout

Why did the blonde fail her driving test? She was paralyzed and had down syndrome.

How do you kill a vampire? You can't because vampires aren't real.

8

Q. What did the chinease man say when he got flattened by a plane? A. Nothing, he died instantly.

A teenager decides to stay home instead of go to college. His parents are fine with his choice since he is mentally ill.

What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when the elephants were coming? Here come the elephants! What did Jane say when the elephants were coming? Here come the plums! (She was color blind.)

Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews undergo metabolism, maintain homeostasis, possess a capacity to grow, respond to stimuli, reproduce and, through natural selection, adapt to their environment in successive generations. More complex living organisms can communicate through various means.[1][5] A diverse array of living organisms (life forms) can be found in the biosphere on Earth, and the properties common to these organisms—plants, animals, fungi, protists, archaea, and bacteria—are a carbon- and water-based cellular form with complex organization and heritable genetic information. Pizza does not.

A Chinese man a Mexican and an American are all on a plane. They are all trying to get rid of stuff they have to much of in their country. The chinese man throws out a bowl of rice and says " we have to many of these in our country" the mexican throws out a taco and says " we have to many of these in our country" the American throws out the mexican and says "we have to many of these in our country"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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