Did the Jewish surgeon charge extra for circumcisions? Nope, he just kept the tips

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A man from China is learning English and when confronted by a cop accidentally answers each question with one of the few words he knows, impugning himself in the process. The cop, not being a sociopath, realizes that the chuckling foreigner probably has no idea what he has just done and hands him a dictionary to help him cope with the drastic change.

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Why did the squirrel across the river upside down? So it could keep its nuts dry.

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A priest a rapist and a child molester walk into a bar. He orders a drink

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G

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What is the oppisite of water? Dry!

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A dyslexic paraplegic walks into a bra

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Q: what do you call a camel with a garbage bag on its head? A: A ziploc baggie

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Thumbs down this! Please, i wanna see how many thumbs down this can get!!!

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What do 9 out of 10 people like? Gang rape.

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Why did the boy pick up the baseball? He wanted to play baseball.

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What do you get when you cross a porcupine with party balloons? Unhappy kids

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I Raped And Killed A Little Girl Called Zoe. It All Started When I Raped A Girl In Her School, I Always Waited Outside Of Her School in my white van, one day the girl I raped before Zoe confronted me in my white van, I asked her if she wanted to see my puppies in the back of the van, she said yes, I locked her in there, I kidnapped her. The next day that girl Mysteriously Died. Iwonder how? Tee hee hee... The next day Zoe came up to my van, She also said yes about the puppies too! I kidnapped her and raped her. The next day I was rushed to hospital, I was revealed by the doctor I Had Been Diagnosed With HIV, I knew it was from her because she is the only girl I'd raped, So I walked home. When I Was Walking Home, I Was Thinking About How Angry I Was With That Lil' Bitch; I Was Thinking of ways to kill her, when I got home I heard her listen to; Bang Bang~ By Ariana Grande, Nikki Minaj And Jessie J. That Got Me thinking, Ah, that's how I am going to kill her. So I opened my cage and Got my gun out; I killed her. Blood Was Dripping Down from her head, I Grabbed the corpse and put It in my basement, after that I started licking her fanny, Drinking Her pussy juice. Then I drained all of her Blood out of her body and bottled it. After all the draining I had 600,000 Bottles. I Drunk one of them. and may I just say: it was delicious! After that, I went online and sold all the bottles to I.Am.A.Vampire.Com For £1million Pounds!! Man is now mega rich and I brought a slut and fucked her. I Now lift a fucking amazing life because of a vulnerable, Dumb Ass girl called Zoe. Thank you!!!!!

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you gay?

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"What's uhhh.". "Crap I forget" "Oh yeah! 32!"

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What is black and white and red all over? Black people in a blender. I lied about the white

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What's the difference between getting hit by a car and being struck by lightning? Impossible to tell, they are 2 entirely different circumstances with limited certainties.

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why did the black man jump higher than the white man he was on a trampoline

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You're smart... And I can tell a joke.

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Communism hehe xd

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how many Pikachu's can you get in a mini? 14.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. *Knock knock* "Who's there?" "Not Sally."

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What did the dead baby say to his mother? Nothing. He's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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