Q: Why didn't the blonde answer the call from her boyfriend? A: She had died in a rollover the day before.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did Timmy say when the bus crashed? Nothing, it was a horrible crash, he died like everyone else. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Timmy.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the doctor say to his patient? You have cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +35

a blonde walks in to a bar, the bar tender gives him a free drink because he's a man and it's nazi germany

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did someone see a penguin walking in the desert? They were dreaming, because Penguins waddle and live in the Arctic.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Mario walks into a bar A yak walks into a bar An orange walks into a bar 30 men barf in a juicy yot

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why do people go on this site? They have no friends and no lives.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One. This task does not require over 1 person to complete.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Throughout her entire pregnancy Sheniqua smoked, drank, and did many narcotic drugs such as heroin and cocaine. Why did she lose her baby before coming to term? Because I strangled her to death for being black.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask him to lower the volume a bit and maybe also play a quieter tune.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why did the little boy cry? some gang killed his family infront of him.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Q: How did Whitney Houston die? A: Who?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Your momma is so old, it's just irresponsible of her not to have regular doctor appointments. Health should always come first.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs? Names

thumb_up thumb_down +162

What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +23

I was jaywalking when it hit me. You know, a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what do you call a dog with no legs. It dosent matter it wont come

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Your mother called last night. She wants her recipe back.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +2,701

Q: How many Jew does it take to change a light bulb? A: A lightbulb cannot be changed, it either is or isn't. Do you mean replace a burned-out bulb with a new one? With design, logistics, manufacturing, marketing of just that single bulb- there are many people involved. It could be argued that we all play some small part in the process.

thumb_up thumb_down +2,546

Why did the young boy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,992

Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I am a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +3,549

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops