Uh... You know them N words... When they come crashing into the neiborhood the neiborhood quality drops and gets totally destroyed youknow what im sayan? Uh yeah sure totally... Then you know they spread around smell up dirty and toxicify the whole area, they become so fat and loud and like take everything away from you. Yeah HEIL KKK!! WUUT? I was talking Aboot them Nukular warheds! You you... SOMETHING! Hey! Dont get offensive man, sorry I was just KIDDING!... yeah... KIDDIIING!

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What did the construction worker bring with him to work? - Tools

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Why can't Stevie wonder read? He can. He reads braille.

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You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

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i used to take arrows to the knee,til i took one to the balls.

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Why'd Carly fall off the swing? She got hit by a bus

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Why is Santa's sack so big? His doctor recently diagnosed him with testicular cancer.

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? Because she has no arms Why can't she get back up? Because she has no legs Why won't anyone help her up? Because she's a woman.

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why was 6 afraid of 7 He raped him the other day

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Your mama is so....well we've been friends since childhood and I know your mother passed away recently. So, as to refrain from being an insensitive jerk to a good friend. I will tell this joke to someone with a mother who is fat, dumb, lazy, ugly, or has a combination of these traits. Or has none of these and happens to be a nice lady with a son/daughter who just enjoys a good mama joke.

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Okay so two penquins are sitting in a bathtub when one asks the other "Hey pass the soap!". The other one jokingly replies "what do I look like a typewriter?"

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what did the astronaut say to the rocket scientist? hi

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Rim Ram Ree, Kick him in the knee, Rim Ram Rass, Kick him in the other knee

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One spooky halloween night, three lonely outcasts walk down a dark street, no longer begging for candy. A cold wind blows through the night air and something rustles in a nearby bush one kid walks over to the bush and picks up his dog "OH THERE YOU ARE, BUDDY!"

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Roses are red Violets are blue life is a bitch and so are you

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What is green and red all over? The Hulk's Penis in a blender

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why doesnt jesus play hockey? he got nailed to the boards

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How do you wake up lady gaga? You set her alarm clock for a reasonable hour.

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Why was Helen Keller depressed? She was deaf and blind.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, if i gave a rats ass, I'd worry about you.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? No one. No one is ever going to be there for you. Also, you're adopted.

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A man walked into a bar Ouch!

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park in a safe and risk free process.

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Oh...okay, good.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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