John Katzenbach were drinking a soda... He is the author of The Psicoanalist

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what do a heater and a dead baby have in common? a dead baby is only warm for a small period of time

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Chuck Norris died.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Knock, Knock Knock, Knock who? Knock, Knock

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Knock knock. Who's there? To To Who? To Whom.

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I went to the zoo yesterday. There was only one dog, it was a shitzu

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What do you call a dog with 2 legs? Doesn't matter, it's not going to come anyways.

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender served him a beer and said "why the long face?", to which the horse replied "neigh". The bartender was later fired for incompetence and serving beer to a horse.

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What is pink and fluffy? Pink Fluff.

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An Englishman walks into a bar.

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Your mother is so white that when she dances, she is off beat a little bit.

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Do you know what hurts? An abortion.

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Twilight is so bad, I read it and personally didn't like it as a book.

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Knock Knock Come in Thank you very much. Don't mention it. Would you like a home made spinach roll?

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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Hey Eliza, thanks, while I appreciate the help, Alice is crying in a corner and refusing to get up, I wont lie, for a moment there I could "see voices and music" and valium has taken care of the ptsd (and blown most of my brain, which is nice for a change). With that said, im on 40 mg ritalin which is a lot, but I need it, besides I can handle the anxiety. I have no idea who the guy typing this is, but he is following me to the letter, so thats good enough, except his typos being worse than mine, which is pretty good for a guy that barely speaks english. Sorry Eliza, but Alice is having a breakdown here, ill talk her down a bit first, she tries to hide it, but she is far more worried about me than I am, which is nice, just not like this, ill be right back with you.

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If I had a penny for every time I said the word "the" I would have AIDS

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Doctor: You want the good news or bad news? Patient: Bad news. Doctor: You have terminal cancer. Patient: What's the good news? Doctor: You have AIDS.

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Jamie: Peter your hands smell like cows! Jason: eeh no they smell like cows balls

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What do you say to a friend named Alex? The Game

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s o m a a d i t u n y s n i t a c s d c ' s k h k s t o e l y e

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What do you call a bitchy unreliable friend? You don't call that bitch at all.

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Hi Shelby!!

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they told me not to write here but i did

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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