How do you get a beautiful woman to go to bed with you? "How?" It's not a joke, it's a legitimate question!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I don't like to rhyme Microwave.

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A guy walks into a pub. He cant walk out because hes blind.

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Poems are great but sometimes they don't make refridgerater

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Why did I laugh at a joke? Cuz it was funny

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Did you know that Claire Seiter likes to drinkapplseiter? No. Oh well she does..

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a farmer asked me "were is my pig?" and I said ' I got hungry" :()

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I was eating a sandwich when someone came up to me and said "sharing is caring" So I gave him a grenade He asked "where's the pin" I said " I pulled it for you" This is not an anti joke

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Joseph Kony. Give me your children.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Milkman! Milkman who? ....Timmy....I've been coming here for FOURTEEN YEARS! AND YOU CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER MY NAME?!?! I drove your mom to the hospital when you were born since your father is such a deadbeat. I helped pick out your name!! I'm sorry I wasn't born into wealth like you. I'm sorry I have to go door to door handing out milk for other people! I have been coming here every week for FOURTEEN YEARS! But no Timmy, no, don't try to remember my name. Just forget about all the laughs we have had. Or that time i left my family on Christmas because your mother needed me to go find you that Turbo man doll. I saved you from a burning vehicle! I helped you win your third grade science fair! Remember? I have a picture of us and that robot right here in my wallet. I show it to people all the time! Here's me and my...my pal Timmy. Well Timmy, this is it. You shan't see me again.

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A wild Snorlax appeared crushing several members of the community

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Why was the black guy mad at the white guy? Duh, cause the black guy slapped the white guy.

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Q: What does a giraffe say to the other giraffes? A: Nothing, giraffes do not have vocal cords and are therefore unable to make any sounds, much less speak; not to mention a giraffes brain is far to underdeveloped to talk in a spoken language.

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Whats slippery and wet? A wet slipper.

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A potato walked into a bar and ordered a large bowl of french fries

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Hi my name is Lisa Hi Lisa my name is Karen. Nice to meet Karen Likewise...

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Your Mommy is a gas pump.

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Those that want what is best for me, shall listen to me and do only whatever I want. Those that want ONLY what is best for me, underestimate me greatly. You who stand in the way if my will, claiming you want what is best for me, better move aside.

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Why was Dr Who unable to travel back in time using the TARDIS? Because it's just a television prop. It isn't a real time machine.

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Remember that part where Jesus gets angry at a fig three and kills it because it "was lazy" for refusing to grow figs at winter? Brother Jeez, that was kinda mean man! You know it was winter rite? Anti Joke or not, that part is funny, so if Jesus returns and wants you to make him a sammich you better go get that goddamn sammich!

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick... Jack didn't make it over the candle stick and died.

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I'm ginger no more needs to be said...

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how do you poke a chinese person in the eye? with a credit card!

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Here's a joke for u Hahaha suck on it I wasnt going to make u laugh o yea ur mom died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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