So a guy with ADD walks into a... Hey Look! A Chicken!

Pi = Pie, something everybody likes.

What do you call a straight A student that takes 6 Vicodin's, 5 Percocet's, and 7 Adderalls? I don't know, but he will most likely die of drug overdose.

I used to be a Businessman like you, then I took a plane to the North Tower.

Why didn't the boy cross the street? He didn't have legs

What kind of shots I'd John take at night? Insulin, because he's a diabetic.

What's the number 1 tip to burning stomach fat? Lighting yourself on fire.

How many ecotards does it take to change a light globe? Ve Vill Change all ze light globes to use;less grey vuns and you vill luv it or else ve vill kill you to save ze planet

Yo mamas so fat that when a bus hit her she said " who threw that pebble at me"

Why did the man buy his wife expensive flowers? It was their anniversary and he is a faithful husband.

knock knock who's there? no one, but I appreciate the fact you asked.

Guys are like a sax. If no sound comes out, you're probably not blowing hard enough.

what's the difference between people and horses? people have two less legs.

Oh wow, I've never seen one that big before. Thats what the 12 year old boy said as he starred at the the Great Pyramid of Pharaoh Khufu.

What did the Leah say to the Pawneez? AWWWW YEAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? To honor his father, Jonathan "Red" Hoffner, who was tragically killed in the line of duty. While attempting to save 3 small children in a trailer park fire, the elder firefighter suffered 3rd degree burns over 80 percent of his body. "Red" was rushed to a local hospital and lingered for several agonizing days. He began to rally but a careless error by a night nurse led to his unfortunate demise. His son was psychologically unable to wear anything but red suspenders every day for the rest of his life - not only because of his father's death but also because it was he who had maliciously set the fire in the first place.

John: hey wats up? Bob: gas prices!

Why are black people so stupid an lazy? They aren't. This is a negative social stigma and if you believe it you are a racist.

What did the midget say to the other midget? "We're midgets"

Time flies an arrow. Fruit flies like banana.

What did the west African get for his birthday? Ebola

A man finds out he was molested by his father as a child.

why did the cow die because she ate poisoned apple pie

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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