Why did the man smell like french toast? His wife previously made him a plate of it that he ate before walking out of the house.

knock knock who's there who who who who who what are you a retarded owl

A mosquito flies into a bar and orders a bloody mary, the bartender then takes out a swatter and kills the pest. Noticing the event, the patrons cheer and continued drinking their frothy beverage. Minutes later, the phone rings and the bartender answers the phone. "Hello?" "Hi, I'm looking for a friend of mine, is he there?" "Let me check, by the way, what's his name?" "Jack Hoff" "One sec. HEY FELLAS(yelling over the noisy bar), IS THERE A JACK HOFF HERE? I NEED A JACK HOFF! ANYONE?" Mr. Hoff, sitting at the bar hears this and asks, "who is it?" "He said he's a friend of yours!" "Which one?" " He said his name's Dick Stroker and he needs help on something hardhe'll meet you around back." "Oh ok, thanks."

A fish walks into a bad Fish dont walk

What is black at the bottom, and white at the top? Society.

what glows blue and howls at the moon at midnight? I dont know but i had sex with your mother.

Knock knock. Who's there? Cook Pu. Ok then. Kelvin Yang.

Why couldn't the old man see? He was deaf

"Penis, penis, penis..." says Chase. That is all he likes and he fondles horse testes.

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Camero? - The Camero isn't in my garage.

Why did Jack got late to his date? Because he was playing Call of Duty and forgot about the time.

Knock knock Who's there Orange Orange who Orange

What did the confused blonde girl ask to a nearby student? Nothing. She isn't supposed to chat because it's study hall and they enforce a strict "no talking" policy.

what happens when an Indian walks into a bar? they realize they found there way home

A cat walks into a bar. He orders some beer. The bartender asks, why the sad face. The cat replies, "I got laid off"

A man walks into a chiropractor. The chiropractor asked whats wrong with you? The man replies My boner has scoliosis.

theres a black guy and a mexican whos driving the cop

I saw a guy walking down the street like a black person. I just shook my head and smiled. He WAS black.

What do you call a thirsty girl? H2Hoe

A hero is nice to everyone, but one person. who is that? Your mom. WOOOOOOOT!! YOU JUST GOT MUSCLEMANED!!!!

Q: Why did the boy go to the orphanage? A: His parents were dead.

Did you know Hellen Keller had a dollhouse in her backyard? Neither did she.

Have you seen Stevie wonders new house? Neither has he.

A: Knock knock. B: Come in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?cash(p)

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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