Your Momma is so ugly, she got plastic surgery.

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Roses are red violets are blue. A face like yours belongs in the zoo! But don't you worry I'll be there too! But not in the Ill be laughing at you

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Why was the black man hired at the clothing store? He needed some money to feed his family.

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Q: What happened to the man who died? A: Nothing, there is no afterlife.

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It's a scientific fact that if you took all the veins out of your body, and lined them up end to end, you would die.

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An Asian walks out of the library.

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What do you call a guy who has no experience flying a plane? Suicidal

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Roses are Black. Violets are Green. im going to go cut myself now

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What did the one Brick say to the other Brick? We have the same name.

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(insert Anti-Joke here)

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What weights more than a 300 pound man? A 400 pound man.

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Your mom is like a tire iron: she's a whore

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What did the homeless guy get for Christmas? Nothing, he's homeless.

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What did the mentally retarted student get on his SAT? Drool

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who is smarter than a human? a nerd

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Why was the man burnt? Cause he fell in a fire

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A man walks into a bar. He is rushed to the hospital and has his wounds treated.

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Why did the Asian man have squinty eyes? He was looking at the sun.

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Q: whats worse than being in the car for 1hour A: being in the car for 2 hours Made by: grant chapman:)

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What do you do when you see your wife outside the kitchen? Tell her to enjoy the rest of her day, and you look forward to spending time with her when you both get home from your jobs.

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A man walks into a bar the bartender looks at the man and says "Hey son you wanna make one hundred bucks?" the man looks at the bartender and says "Im not your son."

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An american, a mexican, and an asian are on a boat. The boat is sinking because it is too heavy. The people decide to throw off things that they have a lot of in their country. The asian throws rice off the boat saying, "We have plenty of rice at home." The mexican throws tacos off the boat saying, "We have plenty of tacos at home." The american throws out the mexican saying, "We have plenty of mexicans at home."

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Why are there no Mexican people on Star Trek? Because the casting director screened thousands of actors and actresses and assembled what he/she felt was the most talented cast to create and sustain a long running television series. Unfortunately no one of Mexican dissent was awarded a role.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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