A man has had too many beers late at night. The bartender says "Sir, I'm going to have to cut you off"

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I watched the news yesterday and they were talking about the conflict in Libya. I changed the channel.....

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why was the jewish boy afraid of ovens? because he developed an irrational fear of kitchen appliances. he would later, as an adult seek counseling and overcome his fear.

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Face...the other white meat!

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What did the raisin say to the toaster? Nothing. The raisin lacks a central nervous system, and the toaster is an inanimate object.

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Tommy got hit by a truck Knock knock Whos there Not tommy

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how do u talk to a person you like go up and talk to them

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I would write a joke, but it wouldn't be funny

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A group of Germans eagerly await the FIFA football rankings. England is fourth.

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Alice, seriously do as I say, I lived with the man for over 16 years, those are not hallucinations, its PTSD, without ritalin he will just go trough that agony for nothing, not coffee not chocolate or any of that, anything that helps his focus. Seriously do not be a bitch Alice, listen to him and do as he says. Its not the first time people think he is having hallucinations when his eyes start moving back and forth like crazy, he is not seeing things, he is experiencing this as if they where real, and just because he can stay in that state for days, does not mean he is meant to go trough that kind of agony because of your ethics or caring or whatever your hesitation might be, the man can go without food for weeks if he has to, but not after you sneak trash like Zopiclone into his system. That was a mistake of yours, make up for it Alice, or ill make you pay.

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so a baby seal walks into a club, the bouner immedietly kicks the seal out because it is too young to be in a club and also.....itsa seal

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What happens when an Asian with a boner walks into a wall? He breaks his nose

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'll choke you with a hose

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What's the worst part of being raped by a unicorn? Be sentenced to a life of shame and humiliation.

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whats worse than seeing a repeated anti-joke? The Holocaust.

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Why is it that all cats dislike flying saucers? The strange noises and lights probably frighten them, as they don't understand the concepts of extra-terrestrial intelligence and space travel.

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Roses are red Violets are T I T S I like T I T S T I T S

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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What do you call a disabled Jew? His name

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I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

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You know you guys are suppose to post jokes, not basketball comments.

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Jesus Christ walks into a bar and the bartender says "Holy crap it's Jesus!" and everyone quickly updates their Facebooks.

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a man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. The Bartender says okay, here you go.

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Why did Jimmy not go to school? Because Jimmy, along with his family, were killed in a horrible house fire. Knock Knock? Who's there? Not Jimmy...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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