How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If a wood chuck could chuck wood, it would depend on whether it wanted to or not. If it did want to, it could potentially chuck an infinite amount of wood in its lifetime

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why was the little Asian boy crying at the county fair? He had just watched his entire family get brutally crushed beneath the weight of the old ferris wheel as they went to get on. Never would he forget the painful screams of his mother as her blood splashed onto his white t-shirt. Never would he forget the police car ride to the foster home when it all sank in that they were truly gone. And never would he forget the abuse his new parents would inflict on him daily. But what would forever torment him most were those screams. Those persistent screams that woke him in the night until the day he died many, many years later.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why won't Santa be delivering presents this year? Because he can't be bothered.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A German challenged an Englishman to a duel But their neigbours found out and alerted the police

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the man fall off the cliff? I don't know, I have mental AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what do you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientest? a mutant chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Knock Knock whos there? Semore Frickelson Semore Frickelson Who? What other Semore Frickelson do you know!? Let me in its freezing out here!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what would be the most epic fight ever chuck norris vs superman vs all legendary pokemon vs a giant who would win it me (im superman)

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are red, violets are blue.. Oh i can't finish joke coz i gotta go poo ! :/

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear, fuzzy wuzzy had no hair, fuzzy wuzzy had cancerand died

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock Knock Whos there? You You Who? Who You Oh im Jim.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

When life gives you limes, say hey! wait a second ,aren't these meant to be lemons? then kill yourself

thumb_up thumb_down -30

whats worse then a child with a dead mom? the baby is still inside.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

The awkward moment when you notice its 2012 and we're all gonna die, so you buy and elephant and name him John.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

You know who can't stand to put up with my shit? Polio victims.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

this is an anti joke.... Get it yet

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Hitler is my role model

thumb_up thumb_down -27

How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get him a ladder and help him down.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Recent US presidents (and their accompanying economy)

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did Patrick cross the road Because he saw a rock

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you get a boy out of bed, you cut off his fingers.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops