Patrick- hey spongebob i thought of something even funnier then 24 Spongebob- What patrick- 25

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How many hearts does a jellyfish have? None.

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Why couldn't Suzie put on her boots? Because she got her legs amputated.

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Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant? A- Don't be ridiculous purple elephants don't exist

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How do you kill a fashion icon? First make sure their blonde and stupid like most. then take a barstool preferably or what ever is closest then........ WACK HER IN THE EMPTY SPOT WHERE HER BRAIN SHOULD BE.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was disowned by his family due to his drug addiction and had nowhere else to go.

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Hey how is your wife and my kids

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What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, she's already been told twice.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to hit with a sledgehammer, the other one's a watermelon.

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What does it take to write a good joke? A punchline

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What did the 4 year old black kid ask his father for Christmas? A yo-yo. nah im just kidding he doesnt know who his father is.

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What's red and has a mask ? Blood, I lied about the mask.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Steven Yuhasz is so homosexual, he has sexual intercourse with other men and enjoys it. <33

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Why are pirates called pirates? Because it derives from the Latin word, pirata.

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A Pilot

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Why hasn't Justin Bieber gone through puberty. Usher Chopped his balls off.

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Q: What's worse than being forced to eat your veggies? A: Being forced to kill your parents with a carrot.

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What is the difference between a blonde and a Mexican? Their hair color.

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Whats worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm? Biting into your dog and finding a worm.

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Good luck on your finals everyone!

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Q: why id the bird fly away from the boy? A: cuz he was scared

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i have a white dog on my and have the strangest boner

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Matt is not funny.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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