Whats green has four legs and would kill you if it fell from a tree. Pool Table.....

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- Women have rights, aren't they? - Yes, they have.

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Why did the man fall off the swing? he got hit in the back of the head with a shovel.

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What's 7+7? 14 you dumbass

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A chicken crossed the road. It was run over before reaching the other side. by fast asleep

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A blonde lady has a sore throat. Her colleague tells her that whenever she has a sore throat, she performs oral sex on her husband and swallows, and this cures the problem. The next day, the blonde comes into work. The colleague asks if she followed her advice, and the blonde says yes and it worked. The blonde also passes a message from her boyfriend thanking her colleague for the suggestion. The two sets of spouses eventually became close friends and were godparents to each others' children.

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Haha, I get it..

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In Soviet Russia, everything you do will have an equal and opposite effect, for the laws of physics still apply in every part of the world. No matter where you are.

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What do you call a Chinese man in a cage full of Ostridges? A zoo worker.

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what did the white guy say to the black guy at the homeless shelter? Hi.

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a man walks into a bar he has a few drinks and announces to his friends that hes driving home, dave (one of his friends) tells him that its a bad idea and takes his keys off of him until the next day.

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what do you call it when a leopard starts losing its spots? leopard-osy! submitted by: pukey mcshakes

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A jewish man is sitting on a bench. A german man then proceeds to sit down next to him. They say nothing to each other.

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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If you look up stupid in the dictionary the definition would say stu·pid? ?[stoo-pid, styoo?] -er, -est, noun adjective 1. lacking ordinary quickness and keenness of mind; dull. 2. characterized by or proceeding from mental dullness; foolish; senseless: a stupid question. 3. tediously dull, especially due to lack of meaning or sense; inane; pointless: a stupid party. 4. annoying or irritating; troublesome: Turn off that stupid radio. 5. in a state of stupor; stupefied: stupid from fatigue.

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Who wears a forest ranger's hat and carries a can of kerosene? An arsonist who happens to be a forest ranger.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have aids, and now you do too!

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Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

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why couldnt helen keller drive she was a woman

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Whats more dangerous then a man with a gun? two men with guns.

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What's the difference between The Hulk and The Thing? One is green.

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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Your mum is such a slut, I'd reccomend she seeks psychiatric help, as her deviant promiscuity is clearly a phsical manifestation of some deep rooted psychological disfunction. We all wish her well.

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q:What do you tell a deaf person? a:nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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