why was the pen mad at the pencil? it wasnt. objects don't have feelings

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what did the egg say to the boiling water? itll take a while to get hard cause i just got laid by a chick.

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WHY did the man refuse to put on his shoes? He didnt want shoes on

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Today I looked at a clock and realized that I was late.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he thought he saw a dangerous predator in the area and crossed the road in an attempt to flee the dangerous situation.

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who's driving? The taxi driver.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

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What is blue, around 30 cm long and makes women cry? Crib death!

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What is not a car park? Clash of clans

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A gay man came out 5 years ago, he also has not heard his farts since... He lost his ears in a boating accident that same year

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Big feet on a man means he has, Nothing, a man's foot size has no relation to the size of his penis.

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How did the old man feel when he couldn't have sex? Viagravated

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Betty wanted to see time fly so she threw her alarm clock out the window. Shortly after, her mother grounded her as it was quite expensive and she had become less punctual without it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being disturbed by two black guys raping a young girl with leukemia

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What's worse than Patrick in a blender. Uuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, idk.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his toadstool.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Roses are red Violets are blue Roses are red Violets are blue whilst you reading this I just raped you

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Friends are a lot like trees. If you hit them multiple times with an axe, they will fall down.

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What`s pink and fluffy? Pink fluff What did the banana say to the ear? Hello

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penis

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What goes up but never comes down? This dick

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A black man, a white man and a Mexican are in a car... Who is driving... A police man

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Why was the girl crying? She got shot in the penis

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What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, and only one eye? Dave.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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