A blind man walks into a bar. He had a few drinks then went home.

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a beer, drinks it and walks out.

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how do you complete an exam. dont be kaizen.

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How do you make a little boy cry? Slap the cookie out of his hand.

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Why did Chuck Norris fall of the cliff? Because he was pushed.

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Whats the Twin Towers least favourite movie? Here Comes the Boom.

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In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

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Why are females bad drivers? Because it is hard to drive with pots and pans.

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Why are black people so tall? Because their parents were

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whats a joke

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he's human.

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Kevin was very nervous going into his job interview. So he pretended he was a salad and ate himself.

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Suicide isn't the answer, it's just the solution. -by Ross

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You know whats retarted? people with down syndrome.

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What do you get when you cross an intersection? Possibly a lower leg contussion, ACL tear, breaks in 4 different sections of your arm and lots of brain swelling if you are hit by a car.

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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose... But you cannot be a dinosaur!

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She was too tired and was afraid that if she got behind the wheel it might cause her to fall asleep at the wheel which would result in an accident.

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what do you call a polar bear in a bathtub? No soap, radio

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Why was the blonde staring at the bottle of orange juice? She was reading the nutrition facts, as she was trying to watch her weight.

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Why did annie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms! Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Annie!

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What did chuck Norris say to the docter Nothing he never has to go to a hospital

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Why did the Jew pick up the penny? Because he dropped it

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What does water taste like? Water

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why did the chicken cross the road? who cares?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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