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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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A vulture gets on a transatlantic flight with a dead animal in each claw. The flight attendant stops him, and says "I'm sorry, sir, only one piece of carrion per passenger allowed"

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Actually it was me Josh brown

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Cheese on toast.

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Bob dole

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Ouch, a papercut .. what could be worse? A hatchet cut.

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Why did the white bartender kick out a black man and his Mexican friend out of the bar? It was closing time

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What is Green and smells like Yellow Paint Green Paint

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Why did Obama give a speech? Because he is the president and people look up to him

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Roses are red Violets are? blue I'm going to rape you in the ass with a rake.

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A guy walks into a bar. He orders a coke. The bartender looks at the gentlemen with a little smile and says "Just a coke?"

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Jimmy: Knock, knock, Grandmother: Who's there? Jimmy: Jimmy Grandmother: Jimmy who? And then Jimmy held back tears as he knew grandmother's Alzheimer's disease was getting worse.

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How do you put a baby to sleep? Snap its neck.

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Hey! i just thought of the funniest joke! okay so it goes like this: A man was walking down the street and saw a bar... he walked in and.... yeah, thats about it.....

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Do you want to hear a joke? Well, I do too.

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roses are blue violets are red i messed up so f... this s..t

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what do u call a fat guy in a pool u

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Why did the chicken cross the road? - To rape you. Knock Knock. Who's there? The Chicken.

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A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but it nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.

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I'm Stephen Hawking, and I'm a PC.

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Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body in an accident? He bled to death.

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Whats black, white, and red all over? a dead panda.

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only one person get beat up chuck norris. Who you say? Bruce Lee. He got lucky because his eyes were closed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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