What's white and red all over? A white guy who walked in the ghetto.

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Q: Why did the girl fall of her swing? A: She was hit by a rogue fridge. Q: Why didn't she get back up? A: She was quite badly injured.

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Knock knock Who's there My dick

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austins gay lolololol

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Q: How did Helen Keller cross the street? A: She walked.

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What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE

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Why did the father leave work early on his son's birthday? He was rushed to the hospital after facing a severe heart attack due to a history of cardiovascular disease in his family.

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Knock Knock Who's there The Holocaust!

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What happened when the man went to the bar? He got drunk, drove home injuring a young teen mother, brutally assaulted his wife to the point of death. He's in prison serving 3 life sentences.

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A man walks into a boar. The tusked beast accepts his apology.

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A man walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "What'll you have?" The man replies "Surprise me." The bartender proceeds to mix cyanide with the mans drink and loses his bartending license and goes to prison for murdering a customer.

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Your mother is so fat, she tried to suicide because she was unhappy with her weight. She tried a diet and it didn't work; she suffers from depression and went to see a doctor about her weight. Life is getting worse for your mother and she is starting to develop diabetes. Your relatives and cousins are going to the hospital to visit her sometime this week; the doctor says she only has about a week left before she passes away.

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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Why does Larry the Cable Guy get his own T.V. show??? Why can't I have one of my own??? .......ah...forgot....I'm a minority...

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What did the Colombian say to the Peruvian? Quieres lleyo?

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.

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what did the scientist say in Siberia? burrrrrrrrrrilium

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If there's something strange in the neighborhood, who you gonna call? The police, because it's obviously a darky that's up to no good.

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How do you wake a sleeping bear? Kick it.

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what's red, blue, and white all over? The American Flag

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What is the only non-racist animal? The mexican panda. Why? It's black, white, hispanic, and asian.

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A kid who lost parents is called an orphan and a wife who lost her husband is called a widow. What do you call parents who lost their child? Free on the Weekends.

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A dwarf walked into a pizza shop and ordered a large pepperoni pizza advertised as $12.50. He gave some money to the man behind the counter who then said, "Sir, you're a little short." The dwarf replied, "My apologies, I thought I had given you a twenty." He gave the man behind the counter the difference he owed, took his pizza and left.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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