What do kittens and napkins have in common? You can sneeze into both of them except the kitten doesn't like it

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An owl and a squirrel were sitting on a tree branch. An acorn fell on the squirrel's head and surprised, the owl moved its head 3.276 degrees to the right. The squirrel apologized for the inconvenience, but the owl would not listen, so flew off to buy a ferry to help children with terminal illnesses get to school.

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Doctor: I have good news and bad news. The good news is that your parents survived the car accident. Kid: And the bad news is? Doctor: I have a horrible sense of humor, they're both dead. I'm so sorry.

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A: Knock knock B: Who's there? A: A serial killer B: I don't feel comfortable opening the door

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How do you get a blonde's attention? Throw deodorant at her until she looks.

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Dude? What. Dude? What! Wheres my car?

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Why did the man not want to be a tree? Because he didn't want to.

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What did the man say to his wife when he bought a dog? I bought a dog.

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Mom: what does IDK, LY, and TTYL mean? Son: I don't know, love you, and talk to you later. Mom: OK, I'll ask your sister.

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A man walks into a barn the n was not visible

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why dont you hit a black kid on a bike? its probably your bike.

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A tiger walks into bar. He orders a drink and leaves. The tiger's name was Tony the tiger," It was just a man wearing a costume for the cereal company.

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200,000 people are homeless! ...this year in america!

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What's the difference between George Michael and a microwave oven? One is a human being and the other is a resourceful appliance.

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Q: If Hitler spots a jew, what will he do? A: You suck at history dude, Hitler is dead! Moral: What? You did not get the daily news?

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what happened when the sports mascot ate a bean and cheese burrito? he shat inside his costume and got fired.

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A man sits on the toilet to take a shit And is surprised to find the next door neighbours dog in the toilet.

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Q)What is the best way to get the bitches? A) You shouldn't try. You could go to prison on bestiality charges.

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how do u get the baby to stop choking? take ur dick out of its mouth!!!

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Why did the stoner cross the road? He didn't. He was stoned

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so a horse walks into a bar and the bartender syas why the long face and the horse says naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

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what is worse than losing your phone? having it destroyed because you were texting while driving causing an accident and you are not eligible for and upgrade for another two months.

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A: When was rhe last time you touched yourself? B: A few seconds ago when I had an itch on my arm

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What do you call a man covered in magnets? Attractive

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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