Jimmy and Ted are racing each other at the end ov the street. Jimmy is taller and thinner but Ted has more endurance. Who wins the race? A: the drunk driver

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's red and goes pop? A clip art of the word "Pop"

thumb_up thumb_down +44

How do you drown a blond? Glue a mirror to the bottom of a pool!

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Your mom is so fat, that i don't think she's attractive anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Two muffins are sitting in an oven.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What looks like a 50p and has a narrow back?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's green, three feet tall, and can live forever? Definitely not Julie Andrews.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

knock knock who's there a tiger Alex proceeds to walk away as there is a tiger at his front door. he then calls the police because of the potential danger. the animal control then apprehends the animal and takes it to an enclosure

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What happens when an old lady bumps into a black man in the middle of the night? He politely offers her help getting home and she accepts.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A: Knock, knock. B: Who's there? The writer of this joke had no idea how to end this.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man walks into a vagina. The man, expecting a holiday inn, is very confused, and later gets mauled by five bears, who mistook his scent for a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why can't the dinosaur eat M&M's? He is dead. He used to rule the Earth 65 Million years ago, though. Dinosaurs are reptiles. Whales are not. Meow?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? I'm not sure, but the farmer must be very upset about the loss of one of his chickens.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

An man walks into a bar and then proceeds to purchase an alcoholic drink.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did Sarah Palin say to her daughter on Christmas? Merry Christmas

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What is a panda bear? A bear with black and white fur.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's white and sticky.... Jizz

thumb_up thumb_down -20

how do you make a blonde laugh on friday tell her shes a blonde on monday

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why does everyone love Randy Jackson? Well it's sure not because he's black.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How does Batman's mom call him home for supper? Nothing. Batman's mom is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Damn kids and their evasive tactics.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

poop is very very yummy.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What happened when the turkey jumped out of the airplane? It fell.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

That's not mine! it's bigger and blacker! ...where have i heard this before?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops