How come the blind black guy couldent read because he is dead

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How is an orange like an airplane? They both have wings except an orange doesn't have wings

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting ran over by a truck.

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A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a blow up doll? The blonde is a person, you sexist asshole.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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Why did the woman make so many sandwiches? Because she was a mother catering her child's sporting event.

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A man is watching a football game and sees a comercial for a medicine that boosts testosterone levels. However, this man has no issues with his testosterone levels, so he proceeds to watch the rest of the game and then goes to bed.

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And love is, bein' the owner of a company that makes rape whistles and even though you started the company with good intentions trying to reduce the rate of rape, now you don't wanna reduce it at all cuz if the rape rate declines you'll see an equal decline in whistle sales. Without rapists, who's gonna buy your whistles? Who's gonna buy your whistles? Love is all about whistles.

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How many unicorns does it take to change a light bulb? 17. 11 if its Tuesday.

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roses are red violets are blue i have AIDS now so do you.

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Q: Why was the little boy upset? A: His nose was glued to the sidewalk.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see, monkey do.

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Hehe and Haha are best friends. One day, Haha died. What did Hehe do? He said "Haha! you died!"

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So tell me what’s worse than a baby? A dead baby… Well then what’s worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies… And what’s worse than a pile of dead babies? A live baby sitting on top of a pile of dead babies… And what’s worse than a live baby sitting on top of a pile of dead babies? A live baby eating it’s way out of a pile of dead babies…

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Roses are grey, violets are grey, im a dog

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What's the difference between a horse? All legs are of equal length, especially the left one.

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Q: Why couldnt the kid feel his legs A: He had no arms

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Why did the old man fall off his bicycle? Because somebody threw a fridge at him.

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Did you hear about the new German oven? Seats 40.

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Why was't the Elephant allowed on the Airplane? He didn't have a boarding pass

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Why was the Cubs fan sad? His wife just left him.

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Justin Bieber got laid

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What did the astronaut say to his girlfriend?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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