What did the guy who had cancer get for Christmas? Death.

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Isn't a coincidence that the signing of the Declaration of Independence and the 4th of July are on the same day? Weird

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How can you treble the value of any Skoda car? Ensure its paintwork, upholstary, floor, lights, wipers, steering wheel, brake, horn, CD player, radio and clutch are clean and/or sound; fill its petrol tank, oil, brake and winscreen wiper fluid reserves; fit a roof rack; include a red triangle, a fire extinguisher, a blanket and a first aid kit in the sale; take out comprehensive insurance and pay a year's road tax and MOT before selling it.

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A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

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What's red and green And moves at 300mph A frog in a blender

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why did kyle and jake have sex? Because they were gay.

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What happens when Helen Keller plays badminton? She doesn't win because she threw out her back playing Ultimate Frisbee the weekend prior.

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Why was Rosa Parks forced to sit in the back of the bus? Rebecca Black decided to sit in the front.

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A blonde walks into a bar. Shes now in a coma.

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if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

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Who will win in a fight Chuck Norris or Chuck Norris? I don't even know who he is -Lets go METS!!!!!!

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple Finding half a worm in your apple .....

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Why was six afraid of seven? Back when seven was in Vietnam, he sufferd Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and constantly has flash backs and irrational thoughts of six being with the veitnamese alliance and tries to viciously molest six whenever he runs out of anxiety medication.

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What did the little kid say to the stranger? Nothing. He was taught not to talk to strangers.

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a mother cow walks up to her three child cows. the first cow asks: "mom, why am i named rose?" the mother responds with: "because when you were a baby, a rose petal fell on your head." the second cow asks: "what about me, mom?" the mother says: "when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your head." the third cow says: "AAAAOOOOOOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAO!" the mother screams: "SHUT UP REFRIDGERATOR."

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How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Yarn

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Tilt your screen back .

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Chuck Norris can beat an eleven-year-old in a fight.

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Why did Rihanna sing "to the left, to the left"? Because people usually sing in songs

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because someone was chasing it with an axe.

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there are 2 muffins in an oven they are cooked nicely and served as a tasty dessert

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Roses are red, Violets are Violets. Screw this poem. Potato.

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Why didn't Billy have legs? Because he's a fish.

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i went to have a wank over anime as well yesterday, the i realised i dont have a penis. -adam fantuzzi

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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