One sunny Tuesday morning, Tom and his friends were outside playing at the park. Then, suddenly, a violent storm was rapidly approaching. It was recommended that everyone should seek shelter immediately.

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What do you get when you stab a six year old with a pair of scissors and a machete? A very angry, potentially murderous mother out for revenge.

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Q: What's that white, sticky stuff on your mom? A: Glue

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by Osama.

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Q: Why can't Micheal J Fox draw a perfect circle? A: Because drawing a perfect circle is impossible for any human. Actually a perfect circle doesn't exist.

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Why does Jimmy Neutron have a big head? Heredity.

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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an ant walks into my aunt.... the ant took a dump

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What does Kim Kardashian and a Navy Vessel have in common? They are both full of seamen!

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender if he'd would like to make a wager. The bartender replies, "no."

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what did the old lady die of old age...

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Nero, its not that, people are leaving left and right, you where right when you told me that I was holding into the remains of a rotting corpse, the underground society is dead and money alone will never bring it back, but I got the funds and you the talent, is there nothing that can be achieved? You are a lawyer, you write novels, you live a family life, you work for who the hell knows what organization, is this what you traded your, or if I may say, our legacy for? I dont suspect you Nero, I am disappointed in you, part of me wishes you where a backstabber, rather than the one that just quit.

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Who row's? •Liam Findlay

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Two dinosaurs go to a theme park. On the way home they contemplate that they didn't really enjoy themselves. They decide to buy some ice cream to cheer them up a bit. They are severely frustrated by the lack of fun they had for the money they paid. Then they go to sleep. I completely forgot how this joke went, but your mom's a slut.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 was having illicit sexual relationships with 9, of which 6 knew about, but was afraid to inform his wife, 8, who 7 stepped over to get to 9.

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Why do basketball players wear bibs? They don't.

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Why didnt Stevie Wonder wave back at the white man? Because he's a racist.

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Why was ticklish Tom not ticklish anymore? A: he got hit by a train

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Why was a member of the KKK laughing at another member who was his friend? Because he had just divorced his black wife who he recently found out that he had received AIDS from.

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knock knock whos there? yo mama yo mama who? yo mamas mama!!

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why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to why did the bubble gum cross the road? it was on the chickens foot

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Roses are black Violets are black I would love to see A knife in ur back

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you mother is so stupid that it takes her quite a while to understand jokes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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