A horse walks into a bar, the bartender then asks him "Why the long face?" The horse then gives the bartender an unwilling look as he walks to the other side of the bar where several people leave due to potential danger in the situation.

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How many jews can you get in a car? 5, if you don't want any cops after you. The answer can also be 2,6,7,8,9. It's from car to car.

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live babies

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I can't hear music. I am a sentence.

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If Donald Trump was in Game Of Thrones, he'd probably be a part of The Wall.

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Why do they call Jean a redneck? Because her neck was red from being in the sun for so long.

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God has put a gate keeper at a gate in heaven to listen to how everyone has died. The first guy comes and says, "I thought my wife was cheating on me so when i came home I see this man hanging off my balcony, I thought he was the man cheating with my wife, so I then push him off, but he was still alive, so I threw a refrigerator onto him, that killed him, but I felt so guilty I soon commited suicide" The gates man said, "Wow thats terrible come in." Then the next guy come and he says how he died, "Well you see I was just oiling myself up for my workout, but I slipped, and fell off my 5th story balcony, and landed in some guys 3rd floor balcony I was hanging off the ledge, and a guy came I thought he was going to help me, but instead he pushed me of and threw a refrigerator on me." The guard let him in, and a third guy came. The Guard said,"Man its going to be hard to beat those guys their just sad. Ok how did you die?" The third man said, "Picture this I'm trapped in a refrigerator...

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How do you kill a blonde? Pull the pin and throw it back...then proceed to paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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If one train is heading North at 60 mph, na danother train is heading South at 45 mph, how many waffles are on the roof? The answer is purple, because aliens like coffee.

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My girlfriend says i cant finish a sentence properly dripping horse cum fetus rape.

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I just threw up..In my pants.

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What part of NO can't you understand? The part where you pronounce the 'N'.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Knock knock Who's there? That that that. What makes you say that?

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What's the difference between unicorns and black people? Years of slavery.

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If John has 10 packs of beer and he drinks 8 packs,what is John left with? Morbid Obesity.

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2 muffins are in the oven. After about 15 minutes, they both died.

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Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? He'd lost so much weight, due to AIDS.

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What's blue and pink and sweet? Cotton candy.

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What do you call a gay kid, a horrible singer, and has long hair for a guy? Justin Bieber

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why did the man break his arm? he didn't, someone else broke it for him

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I completely thought you where bullshitting me, how come I never noticed before? How and why?

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What happens when a right turn is finally made in NASCAR? The driver has successfully changed his tires and has been refueled, now he is pulling out of pit lane.

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What do you call somebody with no arms or legs and they are stranded in the middle of the ocean? Answer: screwed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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