What is is one good thing about global Waming? Nothing.

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A sad horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" the horse answers "My wife was just diagnosed with terminal cancer."

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Why did the man give money to the Jew? Why would a man give money to a Jew?

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Q: How many cows does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Infinite, cows do not have thumbs, in fact, they have hooves. This disables them from holding any large objects without the use of their mouthes.

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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What's the same between a school bus and a grape? They're both purple. Except for the bus.

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Why did the black women sing to the left to the left? Answer: because black people have no rights

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why did the blond stare at a carton of orange juice for 2 hours? because she was reading the nutrition list, and she is a slow and patient reader.

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All dogs are mammals. All cats are mammals. Therefore, all dogs are cats.

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How many moose does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, it is biologically and theoretically impossible for a moose to climb a ladder and screw in a light bulb.

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A prostitute has sex with a man. She gave him herpes.

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What did the girl say in her French lesson? Miss, I don't get it, its in a different language.

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Q: Why was jimmy's mom crying? A: Because her doctor said their were going to get rid of he cancer, 5 minutes later hey came back in and told her that he had made a mistake and that was for someone else, she was actually only had a month to live.

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If a tree falls on a cat in the woods, does it make a sound? Yes and no, the tree falling makes a loud noise, but the cat under it is instantly killed, preventing any sound that would of been made by the now crushed feline.

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What is sad and disappointing? Nevada's and California's snow pack.

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A man opens his refrigerator and takes out a can of soda. He returns back to his living area and continues watching television.

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what happens when you put Rihanna and Chris brown in the same room? Rihanna dies

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yo mamas so old she probably ralises the greater risk of breast cancer in middle age women.

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Why did the waiter lose his job? Because he was a fish

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have the Cadillac, Get the Guns

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Roses are blue violets are red I think I'm getting drunk get me to my van

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Roses are red violets are blue I can't rhyme fridge

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How to open an orange? You don't you peal it

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What did the pilot say to the female flight attendant? He told her to never tell his wife about the time they spent in mexico or he'd bludgeon her to death with a hammer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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