You ask a German how long it takes to go from Berlin to Amsterdam. He replies, ''About four hours by tank."

What's fat, gay, and ugly. A fat, gay, and ugly guy.

what is red, white, and spins around real fast? a baby in a washing machine

How many Ethiopians can you fit in a car? Five in your standard sedan

Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework? Student: My friends told me not to. Teacher: So if your friends tell you to go jump off a bridge, would you do it? Student: Well, it all depends on if I land on a fat kid. Like Chubb. Chubb: Yeah, I know, my eating habit, i-i-its a big problem. -Payden R.

How can you tell if your wife is dead? The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas many gift card to stores he liked

Your momma is so fat that she decided to begin an exercise program and eat healthy and she lost weight.

Where do cows go to have fun? Cows don't have a concept of fun as such, but they would probably go to a large, sunny field full of lush, green grass with a bubbling river and plenty of shade.

Q: What do you call a innocent black man that was shot 403 times by the cops when they asked for his ID and somehow assumed he was gonna reach for a gun? A: Deceased Texan.

A black man walks into a bar. The bartender shoots him.

What do you get if you put a lepper in front of a fan A mess

What kind of car does Yoda drive? Nothing, Yoda doesn't exist.

can the real slim shady please stand up? no. there is a slim shady in all of us, so we will all stand up.

A man throws a penny off of a cliff. He is now one cent poorer

A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a grocery store. As they walk past the meat section, the Priest stops, smiles, and turns to the Rabbi. "Feeling Hungry?" The Rabbi reaches down and picks up a pack of Koscher hotdogs.

Roses are car Violets are giraffe this poem makes no sense microwave

A woman was strolling around town when she turned into a dark alley. She was cold and scared. Suddenly a ferocious looking man jumped out with a knife. The end.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a Cadillac? A Cadillac is a car, and a dead baby is a morose and disgusting topic of internet humor.

Whats the best part about having sex with 25 year olds? There 20 of them.

Robert Muldoon: "Clever girl..." Velociraptor: "I appreciate your compliment, but I will still eat your face."

What comes after 69? 70

How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None.

A man and his son cross the street, the man hears a screaming noise and ignores it, the man gets across and notice his wife missing...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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