How do you get a blond out of tree? Shoot her in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

::ring::ring::ring:: Hello? Is your refrigerator running? Yes, yes it does! Why? I work for a local home appliance superstore and we are having a special on repairs and maintenance. Would you like to try our home appliance maintenance offer? I'm sorry no! I do not actually have a refrigerator. I only have a cooler. Bye! ::the man shuts off his cell phone and sets it on top of his styro-foam cooler as he mumbles to himself alone while on his boat, "Darn advertisement offers!" and continues to fish in the middle of the lake::

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How did the chicken perform the bank robbery? It was crossing the road and cluelessly walked into a bank, and EVERYONE in that bank had Chickenphobia so they just GAVE him the money...

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this poem makes no sense, microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

When geese fly in the "V" shape, why is one side longer than the other? There are more geese on that side.

thumb_up thumb_down

WILLY

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A blond, a brunette and a redhead are all trapped on a desert island. They work together and manage to survive until help arrives.

thumb_up thumb_down -77

What do you call a man who has been run over by a car? An Ambulance

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the dead chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did Benjamin Franklin go to the movies? Dim message, sapi message=InputBox("Find Out","Why did Benjamin Franklin Go To the Movies?") Set sapi=CreateObject("sapi.spvoice") sapi.Speak message

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the fat man fall faster than the skinny man? He didn't. Masses does not affect the speed of falling objects. Everything with mass and volume falls with an acceleration of 9.81m/s^2 on Earth. Therefore the greater mass of the heavier man did not affect his falling speed. Both men fell at the same speed.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q.A duck walks into a bar and asks for grapes.What is the duck asking for? A. Nothing... Ducks can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Trees are my friends because they welcome me with open limbs.

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock knock who's there Betty Betty who?` ` my grandmother who passed away 2 years ago dont talk about her that was

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What have a blueberry and a raspberry got in common? They both can't ride a skateboard

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock knock! Who's there? Me.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A farmer had a horse that he rode frequently. He would talk to the horse and tell it it was his closest companion. One day the farmer noticed that the horse was walking funny. So he shot it.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you starve colored people? deny them food stamps

thumb_up thumb_down +33

why wouldn't the printer print? because it had no ink.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you get when you cross a rhino and a whale? Comment your answer:

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Two men walked into a bar. The third man ducked.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a terrorist.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops