What's 9+10=? 19

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse says "I have cancer."

Why did the bird fall out of the sky? It had no wings.

In the movie Sherlock holms, why is Sherlock Holms gay?? --------------Because he is chasing "blackwood"

a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

What did the vibrator say to the condom? Watch, I'll get laid before you do!!!

knock knock whos there? andy andy who? andy gold hi come in

Me John Kasich! Me win Ohio primary!

Two men stay at the bar all night drinking non stop. They soon are rushed to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped.

What did the boy with cancer, no arms, and no legs get for his birthday? Nothing he was dead.

How many dead hookers can you fit in a trunk? Five

Ask me if im a tree. Are you a tree? No

Q: What did the homless man get for chritsmas? A: Frostbite

Who in Tyrone's black family gave him presents on christmas? Not his dad.

What is worse that a bee sting? 2 bee stings what is worse that 2 bee sting? Kony what is wose than Kony? 3 bee stings what is worse than 3 bee sting? being allergic to bee stings

What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

What do grass and deer have in common? They're both green I lied about the deer

Sosiopath vs How I met your mother: BABABABABA BABABA RARARA LALALA ETC YOU GOT THE DRILL Kids, this is how I met your mother. I saw her at some store, I said "Hey sexy" She told me to fuck off, so I raped her, got out of prison years later, and kids, that is how I met your mother. ...Why I am leaving? Did I ever fucking say I was your father? I Just came here to tell you I raped and killed her after serving my time which was about 2 minutes, so kids, that is how I killed your mother. YOU ARE WELCOME BY THE WAY!Ungrateful kids. Moral of the story: If they are your kids, just say no and get away, and kill Robin for better television. Sociopath vs Grounded for life Moral: Shot the little kid, nobody will notice, not even his own family.Heck if you look at episode 34 you can see a tall handsome dude choking the life of a little boy in the background, and then letting him go just before he passes out and chokes him again? FUN FOR HOURS!

what did the white guy say to the black guy? nothing because hes racist and hates blacks people

i wonder who made this website? a human

A vulture gets on a transatlantic flight with a dead animal in each claw. The flight attendant stops him, and says "I'm sorry, sir, only one piece of carrion per passenger allowed"

Why can't you teach drivers ed and sex ed at the same time in Iraq? The camel would get tired.

a. get me a drink b. a would but but i got no arms

A man named Jake walks into a bar. The bartender says hi jake... The End

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...