Do you know what lmnop is? No. A group of five consecutive letters.

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Would anyone like to contribute to my slush fund?

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Q: What's worse than a pile of dead babies in a truck? A: A pile of dead babies in a truck with one alive in the middle eating his way out.

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Jews for Jesus

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Knock knock Who's there? An elf. An elf who? An elf who wants to be a dentist.

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Whats green and smells like grass? Grass scented air freshener, in a green colored can.

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how do you make an idiot laugh? tell him a joke from antijoke

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Knock Knock The doors already open

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How do you fit 100 charizards into a bus? Put them into pokeballs. Otherwise, there would be no possible way because Charizards are such large creatures.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because it ran away and it's coop was on the other side of the road

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What did the jerk say to the Mexican? You are a Mexican

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Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

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What did the chickens say to the other chicken Go away mother clucker

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A man walks into a bar. He enjoys a few quiet drinks with friends before returning home to his loving family.

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What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

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A walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" Not getting a response, the disoriented bartender realizes he was talking to his own reflection in the mirror at the back of the bar.

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How do you kill a circus? Go for the Juggler!

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yo momma is so stupid she went to the beach and the whales song " dooooooonnn't stop. belieeeeving. wwwwwhoooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOA"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Where it had just witnessed a horrific car accident involving it's spouse, who died on impact. Eventually the chicken fell into a deep depression, taking it out on his children in the form of physical abuse. Over time, the chicken ended up being alone, having no contact with his kids, having no friends, and living in a massive house with no one else. One day, he had a stroke, and no one called an ambulance because no one knew.

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Why cant i stand up? Cause i shat my pants

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What did the dinosaur say to the centipede? It's funny cause the dinosaur is big and the centipede is small.

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How do you get down from a horse?? You don't... You get down from a duck.

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A bear and a furry bunny rabbit were in the woods. The bear ate the rabbit..

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my eyes hurt from what? being open too much

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops