What do Texans call cows? Cows. Calling them almost anything else would be utterly illogical.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Knock Knock. Whose there? The Police, you wife died in a car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you make time fly? You throw a clock off a building

thumb_up thumb_down +24

This is not mean't to be a joke, but I have noticed the least popular thing on here is the Jew and the Pizza joke. I am Jewish and find this extremely offensive. I applaud all of those who gave it a negative vote and realize the Holocaust is not a laughing matter.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is an emulation? I am not as stupid as I seem by the way, I am just a bit shaky myself, but don't you worry i will answer whatever you need,

thumb_up thumb_down +3

knock knock whose there? penis penis who? penis want vagina

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Q. Which is bigger, a dog or the Statue of Liberty? (Trick question! Think carefully before looking at the answer!) A. The Statue of Liberty.

thumb_up thumb_down -77

What is funny about a cod swimming around alone in the ocean? Nothing, over-fishing is a huge problem in the modern day.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

He I just met you, and this is crazy, but you sister just died here's her baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the kid stop going to school? His alarm clock broke.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A young woman goes to a wild, infamous nightclub, all alone. She arrives safely at home a few hours later.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: Why did the little Canadian girl start crying ? A: Because her mum through a fridge at her.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

One of my nipples is a different colour from the other two. Is this normal? The Doctor replied with the answer no and said you have cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -8

You're so fat, that a picture of you fell off the wall.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did Aaron Pfeifer say to Zach Faller ? Yee

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Q: how much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A: 14

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Why did the Jew pick up the penny? Because he dropped it

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A kid walks in to a bar. The bartender asks the boy where his parents are and he replies that he does not know. They call the police who proceed to try to contact the boy's parents. They have gone missing so the boy must go up for adoption. He gets adopted by an abusive family and runs away. Without a family, job, or money, he could not afford a house. He lived alone in a box until he died of starvation.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the red-haired barber say to the father who abandoned him at birth? Nothing. The father sat to the side and read a magazine as the barber cut the hair of his legitimate child, failing to recognize the irony of the situation.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How did the chicken cross the road?he just got up and walked to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why didn't the girl take her hairbrush to school? She has cancer and all her hair fell out.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did Santa Claus say to the young boy on Christmas Day? Santa Claus is a myth, that was actually a pedophile.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops