Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Cos crossing the road usually doesn't work out too well for chickens.

What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

Gadaffi

A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender asks why the long face. The guy responds because cancer is a horrible disease. Oh yah did I mention the guy has cancer? $

What had 82 eyes, 7 mouths, and sings the blues? Nothing, the described creature does not exist.

What do you get when lettuce and oranges come together? I dont know, thats why I asked you.

Tunechi

How do you starve a black family? Hide there government assistance card under their work boots!

What's the worst part about being a black Jew? You have to sit at the back of the oven.

What was Hatsune Miku's last word? bokuwaumaresoshitekizukushosenhitonomanegotodatoshittenaomoutaitsuzukutowanoinochivocaloidtatoesoregakisonkyokuwonazoruomochanarabasoremoiitoketsuinegiwokajirisorawomiageshiruwokobosudakedosoremonakushikizukijinkakusurautanitayorifuanteinakibannomotokaerutokowasudenihaikyominaniwasuresararetatokikokororashikimonogakietebousounohatenimieruowarusekaivocaloid...

What would you if I slapped you in the face with a fish? Unless you are a push-over, it is likely that you would retaliate with anger.

What do you call a man will dementia who just killed his cousins, wife, children, and teacher. His name. He's still a man until he's put in a mental institution.

What cheese is not yours? The one that you didn't buy.

What's the difference between 15 dead babies and a cadilac? I don't have a cadilac.

Scientists have discovered that the state of your hunger can affect what you say. For example, whether you choose to say ‘I’m hungry,’ or, ‘I’m not hungry,’ is based upon how hungry you are.

A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender serves the duck the beer. Later, the bartender wonders to himself when his life got so out of control.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Africa is great, you should get raped

Why did the elephant climb the tree? Because he didn't want to tie his shoe.

im dylan, i wank over teabaging people on cod

Why can't Ray Charles read? Cuz he is blind You illiterate uneducated racist bastard trying to say it was because he was black.

Dumb

How many kids with ADHD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Popsicle!

Why does a chicken lay an egg? If she'd throw it, it would break.

kronkel spasm dizzle nork is short for: i cant believe you bought a ninja monkey to scratch your clownitis! i am randomly going to have a spasm cause i am down with that dizzle..... lets watch a show callled norks! i am pregnant with your baby ducky.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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