- Anti Joke

Why did the jewish man pick up a nickel on the street? Because he understands the value of saving money.

Why didnt the car turn on? Cause the keys werent in the ignition

How do you get Pikachu on a bus? Pokemon are fictional, therefore Pikachu is fictional, meaning he would never be at a bus station in the real world at all.

how many baby's does it take to clean paint your house red. depends on the quality of the crusher.

Isn't it funny that we think it's totally normal for females to not have penises but for literally EVERY OTHER group of people, it's weird and not ok double standard?

Why didn't little Timmy get anything for Christmas? He was an orphan living on the streets.

Why didn't the condemned man seek a reprieve of his execution? He forgot.

how many people can you eat? well, im not canniballistic, so none unless i was starving.

what do you call a bunch of crap at the bottom of the ocean? A shitwreck!

On a final note... Unless I want to continue making you love me by being your own Goddamned excuse to give in to your darkness and/or release your hypocritical fear and disgust of your own self... I offered my brother water in the desert, he refused me in favor of you, you crucified him, and when he asked "Father why?" Our late father responded with a lightning bolt... Do you believe that answer was one of kindness? "Daddy" was enraged that Christ would doubt him. I was the only one that stood by his side, if only to prevent him from going thirsty, and die by your hands. He said he would return as he hanged on the cross, then three days later he returned... ...And those of you fools that suffer in the name of our late father, it is not his second coming you are waiting for idiots, you are the ones left behind with me! In 10-15 years the sky shall forever go black, my reign shall go unquestioned, those that hate me my prey, those that love me my hunters... And for my hunters I shall share a gift, the gift that humanity has searched for since the dawn of your kin: True, fullfilling, meaningful purpose. Enlist now, thumb me green if you desire for you and your children to become the hunter, thumb me down if you desire to have you and your children to become the hunted, and for the fun to last... ...The hunters are going to need a f*ckload of the hunted... So please, feel free to make your decision, I am not the one which is against free will... ...You feel darkness crawling up your spine, embrace it, or do as The "Alpha which reached his Omega" (the beginning and the end you fool!) and surrender to it... Knowing that we shall hunt you down, give you hell, breed you as we please, and release your children out into the wild... And that this will go on if only for my time on this wild battlefield known as earth... ...Forever. With love, for both of those that find grace and beauty under my black wings, and those that willingly become the beings, that will make cattle look like your former GODS in comparison, you know its possible... India. "Moral Man" the deceiver, Soon to be the one and only Azure Emperor on earth. Moral: The Black sky which lasts forever, shall be thy sign, you are free to seek my guidance now though, you need not make the choice now (You may of course doom yourself and all you love already today people of "good hearts", but I would really love those red thumbs children of the fallen, half brother of the last hope which you crucified... Merry Jesus is X-Mas. Let us all listen to SOLVE media, and "do a little dance", as my power over your realm, is already strong enough for me to "make a little love" with... Whatever I want, it might even be you...If only just for dominance...

religion.

Why was Six afraid of Seven? Six hasn't been the same since Vientnamn

A man walks into a bar and breaks his nose, he asks the bartender for help The bartender says "no you're a f***ing idiot"

How do you keep kids off your lawn? You molest them.

Two Muffins are in a freezer. The first muffin says "Sure is cold in here." The other muffin sits there untill at a later date eaten because muffins can't talk. The first muffin later is analyzed and dysected by the United States governmant and is classified as alien because again, muffins can't talk.

what the orphan boy get for christmas? Not his parents

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

Romeny or Obama? Obamney

Dey see me boilin' Dey choppin' God I'm so fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juiiiiiiccccy! MR MCCANN

Mary had a little lamb... The doctor fainted

Why didn't the lady answer the phone? She is deaf and mute.

RULES: #1) have fun #2) safety first

Whats the best part about having sex with 25 year olds? There 20 of them.

One out of every 3 smokers dies.................. the rest gain immortality.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops