phone and phone charger were talking to each other suddenly a massive hand swopped down to the charger and another hand came down and grabbed the phone they both started screeming so the hand stabbed the phone with the phone charger so the phone said... ALL I DID WAS SCREEM (RANDOMZZZ) (L.W)

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Whats 89 x 67? Sponge. Whats 10 + 9? 19 Whats 9 + 10? 21!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A black man walks into a bar with a parot on his shoulder. The bartender says "Hey you can't bring that in here!" The Parot replies "Sorry i'll have him wait outside."

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was being chased by a coyote that hadn't eaten in several days.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Did you hear Whitney Houston died? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Are you ready kids "Aye Aye Captain" I Can't hear you "AYE AYE CAPTAIN" Ohh... Who lives in a pineapple under the sea "Spongebob squarepants" Absorbant and yellow and porous is he "Spongebob Squarepants" If nautical nonsense be something you wish "Spongebob Squarepants" Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish "Spongebob Squarepants" READY Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Whats worst than getting raped by an old man? -Nothing, getting raped is probably the worst thing to happen to you.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

read this sentence again.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the pengoon cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no human can.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Where did the drunk Mother drive? Back to the Bar because she forgot her Baby.. Except she left it left it on the roof of the car...

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Robin, get in the batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would too if your name was mmfmffemuuuuuffuummuuuuuluuu.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

toby limbers is gonna follow in his uncles footsteps, the gay ones

thumb_up thumb_down -16

So A duck wants to be a musician. Day1: He cuts of his beak attempting to sing. Day2: Dead

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was Michael Jackson seen shopping at Kmart? Because he heard little boys pants were 50% off the original price.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I used to fit trough doors, but then I got tall... I used to play with other babies, but then I got tall... (daradadadadan) I used to look up to you, but then I got tall (OH YEAH!) but then I got tall, but then I got tall, but then I got tall! Moral: Censorship should be illegal.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why didn't the black man brush his teeth today? Because he was already too late for work.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what's the difference between a pogo stick and a traffic cone? well for starters, traffic a cones main function is to cordon off areas or alert drivers to certain areas of road that are not to be breached and pogo sticks are used as toys to heighten bouncing. I'll stop here but the list goes on.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

what did the homeless man say to the stranger? nothing, he let he let his gun do the talking

thumb_up thumb_down -20

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you get when you offer a blond a penny for his thoughts? Change.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

1: Ask if I'm a truck. 2: Uh... Are you a truck. 1: No.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops