What's black and very long? The line-up at KFC.

What did the cat say when you rub it's stomach? Nothing because felines don't have the needed vocal organs to speak, and probaly wouldn't know english do to the size of there brain.

Do you have to make frequent trips to the bathroom? Do you have a weak or broken stream? Do you leave the bathroom feeling satisfied? Do your frequent trips to the bathroom interrupt everyday activities? Well you should take Lunesta and just sleep. Then you wouldn't have this problem.

How do you sabotage someone's car? Drop a fridge on it

There's a pair of siamese twins.....One of them's gay.

What's the difference between a black businessman and a white businessman? Their skin colour.

Roses are red Violets are red Tulips are red Bushes are red Trees are red HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN's ON FIRE!!!!!

Yo mama is so fat, she had to get liposuction.

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Why did Jim laugh so hard? Triangle!

What's meaner than taking a candy from a baby? Tossing the baby of a cliff

Mr. Wonder, optimism is seeing the glass as half full, pessimism as seeing the glass half empty, and realism as not seeing the glass at all.

what kind of animals marriage is high? snails because It has home and car.

What do you get when you cross a monkey and a fish? An unlikely premise upon which to base a joke

WHAT DO YOU CALL SOMEONE HAVING A MYOCARDIAL INFARCTION? Dead

You know what really pisses me off? When I drink too much coffee.

Roses are der Violets are eulb I am dyslexic

What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting rape.d by a giant scorpion.

A man walks into a man walks into a man walks into a man.

Jingle bells Batman smells WHERE IS SHE??!!?!?!?

How do you get rid of Herpes? You can't.

Roses are red Violets are actually purple You should probably see an eye doctor.

If you took all the veins in your body and laid them end to end, you would die.

Why couldn't the dog say anything to the cat? It was born deaf.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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