How did the black man cross the road after 5 years of trying to and getting hit by cars every time? some1 put KFC on the other side. MrBounty44

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What is the first thing you should do when a person is choking? Make sure the person is choking How can you tell if a person is choking? If he's going like this: aaghh gaghhg agghhh gaghhhhh ghghaghghgh

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? You shouldn't eat Jews, unless your a cannibal for which you should seek psychological help.

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What would EARTH without ART be? EARTH, you dummy.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered 6 offender. And there was nothing funny about that.

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How do you confuse a blonde? take the albuterol

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2 Jews walk into a bar. They have a couple drinks and call a cab to get home

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A horse walk into a bar. Several people leave, as they recognize the potential danger in the situation.

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An apple a day keeps a check next to the "I ate an apple today" box on my "what I did today" daily checklist.

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Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes

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Why was the homosexual sad? Because his parents kicked him out, it was illegal for him to be married, and he had a difficult time being accepted by the society into which he was born.

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Hey, you want to hear an anti-joke? yeah, sure. .....well, too bad!

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What did the patient say when the doctor told him he had aids? "Oh my god. Are you sure?"

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Why did the plane crash? Because a tomato was the pilot.

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FORTY SECONDS!!!!!!

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Knock knock! I'm in the shower, i'll be there in 5 minutes

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Why did Captain Obvious crossed the road? Because that's the name of the chicken

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The awkward when you didn't actually say moment.

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Why was the lemon not feeling well? Because it had lemon aids.

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What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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What did the general say before the soldiers got in the tank? Get in the tank

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Timmy stop making noises while mommy is working. I have to finish these TPS reports or else my boss will be very mad at me and we won't have Christmas again.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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