My friends and family all recommended me for alcoholics anonymous, but all i had to say is that my father didn't raise me to be quitter.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names

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I hope the Angels win the pennant No pun intended

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. 'Who's there.' The chicken.

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Im going to france... Why To get french fries! Have fun Im back with a $10000bill to pay Wheres the fries Shit

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knock knock who's there? Dave Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.

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What did michael J. Fox say when someone asked him to play catch? "sorry, I'm busy".

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Why could'nt Ray Charles read: He was black

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Ten years ago we had Steve Jobs, Bob Hope and Johnny Cash ... now we have no Jobs, no Hope and no Cash.

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knock knock whos there? how should I know?

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A Mexican and a black guy are in a car. Who's driving? The black guy because the Mexicans was recently aressted for a dwi and had his repealed. But lately he has worked towards cleaning his life up. They were actually driving to an AA meeting.

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A black man and a hispanic man are riding in a car. Who's driving? The hispanic man

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Whats worse than finding a giant spider in your bedroom? Loosing it...

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knock knock. I have a doorbell, you don't have to knock.

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How do you keep a dummy in suspense for 24 hours? Tell him his wife suffered from a severe concussion and that he'll have to wait until morning to see if she's okay

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If you go to a restaurant and you have more food on your plate then someone who is obese, you KNOW you have too much food.

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what has two legs and bleeds? half a dog

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What do an airplane and a grape have in common? They both have wings, except the grape.

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A guy at a baseball game....

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What do you call Magic Johnson in a wheel chair? A tragedy, especially considering his past struggles with HIV.

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How did the Jewish husband and stay together forever? They didn't. They ended up in divorce like 50% of all other married couples due to irreconcilable differences.

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Horse walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face. The horse unable to understand English shits on the floor and leaves

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roses are black violets are gray im color blind

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What's the Green Lantern's favorite holiday? Hannukah

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops