What's the difference between jelly and jam? A: Nothing Really

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You the same as before? I am being a bit overly cautious I admit that, I would call you, the problem is that while you are either pretty good at pretending to be innocent and all, or actually pretty down to earth, I mean I would probably applaud you for tricking me into believing you are pretty sweet before, but I got my wife and her family to take care off now, its not quite the same getting stabbed in the back anymore,

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How do you get a boy out of bed, you cut off his fingers.

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What happened when the football player couldn't get his Coke from the vending machine? He got angry.

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Whats white and can kill you if it falls out of a tree? A refridgerator

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What happened when an FBI agent and a cop argued over control of a hostage situation? Several people including a respected community leader were killed.

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A horse walks into a bar and doesnt order a drink. Because he cant.

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Why did the Jew cross the road? Cause the Nazi told him to

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A baby elephant steps on a lego. First thought, auch, huh ?! Actually, the lego was fine with it and so was the baby elephant. Now they're married and are expecting a baby legophant.

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What's megan fox's bra size? Wait I got a fb notification brb!

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I could even argue that having blood on your penis is kinda fun sometimes.

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What hurts more than a bullet? A bullet penetrating your skin, muscle and embedding itself in your body

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A man killed himself.

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Why did the black man go through the window of the house? He left his keys inside

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What requires lots of rubbing, dirty pictures, and leaves you happy for a little bit, but then you realize you're sad and lonely? A minimum wage job where you clean pictures.

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What did the little boy say before he succumbed to cancer? Nothing. It was too painful.

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Why did the old man step on the caterpillar? For fun.

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A man walked into a bar. It was closed, so I don't see how this was possible.

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If Chuck Norris has $5 and you have $5 then all together you have $10. It was announced that the obverse portrait of Alexander Hamiliton would be replaced by the portrait of an undecided woman, starting in the year 2020. If you wait long enough, you can exchange the $10 for the new $10 bill.

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So a man walks into a bar with a monkey. I forgot the rest of this joke, but your mom is a whore.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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"Hey look, mommy! I'm a whale!" (child proceeds to pull a shotgun and create a blowhole in his head)

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Joe: CHOP CHOP KICK PUNCH HI-YAH! Mike:What are you doing? JOE: PRACTICING CHPO MENTAL KICK KARATE!!!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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