How do you make a girl happy then sad within 5 seconds? Buy her a pony and then shoot it

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What did the man say to his wife before she made him a sandwhich? Do your job and make me a sandwhich.

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What did the nazi say to the jew? Nothing, he shot 'em

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a man texted his wife saying "hey sexy, how was your day?(;" unfortunately, she never replied because she got in a cr accident and died from texting while driving.

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Name three similarities between racism and sexism I, S and M

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Meow.

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What's purple and green and has a criminal record including two counts of armed robbery, five counts of possession with intent to sell, one count of attempted murder, several citations for underage drinking, and a parking ticket? Barney, but ignore all that other stuff. His record was expunged.

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A donkey looks at a goat. The goat walks away.

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What do a raven and a writing desk have in common? I have no idea.

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Why did i try to write a funny joke? Cuz i was desperately bored.....

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Why cant Helen Keller driver? She's a woman

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How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot off its neck.

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What did Geoar Bush say after a journalist ask what he was going to do about Katrina? Where gonna find her we do think she has some connection with Alkida .

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Why does Santa Claus not have children? Because he only comes once a year.

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Dont be silly, you know that everything is relative, and that relativity is as unlimited as the subconscious mind, give me ten more minutes, and I can hypnotize you in five minutes in order to see life in slow motion yourself for as long as you feel like. Just dont expect your body to adjust like mine, meaning that if you try to run, your brain will use its old habits while your perception is used to the slow ones... In other words, you will end up on the floor or smacking into a wall.

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Two cannibals are eating around a fire in the jungle, and one turns to the other and says "Does this taste funny to you?" Oh yeah, and they're eating a clown.

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What is both bold and brash? Fox

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I like my coffe like my women Without a Penis

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How do you get Jack to fall of his bike? Push him off

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, FUCK, MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE!

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why was the little boy sad he found out he had breast cancer

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Why didn't the blonde hook up with the business man? Because he was a raging alcoholic and a severe smoker who was incapable of looking after his 3 kids and he has gone to jail 3 times for public nudity and beating his wife.

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Why was the napkin wet? Some water was on it

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Your dad is so hairy, that he shaves to look more cleanly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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