A man walks into a bar. Later that night he comes home to an intervention and realizes he has a drinking has hurt him and his family.

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what hurts more than a stab wound? two stab wounds

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Roses are red Violets are blue I want to have sex But no one else wants to

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why did the white man walking down the street have no hair? he had had cancer for 5 years prior.

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I am really good at math debating

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How do you make a 5 year old cry? Kill their parents.

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A Priest, a Minister, and a Rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "What is this, a joke?"

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Q:What do African American men call the Internet? A:The Internet

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A man walks into a bar, purchases a beer, and leaves.

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What is quite heavy and if it falls off a tree and hits you in your head you die? A sheets packet

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Why do woman cook dinner? Because their husband has 6 jobs and is trying to support his family so she does a part and cooks dinner.

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an indian woman works at seven eleven. this is because her son has one leg and she needs to pay pay for all the medical needs.

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You mom is to dumb when she herd about Walgreens she thout all the walls were green

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What happens when you put a baby in the microwave? I don't know, cause I was to busy jerking off.

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what did the man do when he was at the end of his rope? he bought more rope.

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Hazel and Gus are two teenagers who share an acerbic wit, a disdain for the conventional, and a love that sweeps them on a journey. Their relationship is all the more miraculous given that Hazel's other constant companion is an oxygen tank, Gus jokes about his prosthetic leg, and they met and fell in love at a cancer support group.

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Imagine a scenario Add a Rhubarb Crumble into your scenario Add your mother and father sitting together watching the news in your scenario. Your scenario should take place in an old people's home Add an Olympic athlete doing the splits into your scenario If there were any crane-flies in your scenario, be sure to subtract them at once. Divide your scenario by two. Your scenario should now be a mental image of flying horses and a hippopotamus eating a large salmon mousse. There will be a pig tied to a pair of sunglasses.

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I told a woman to make me at turkey sandwich. Of course she complied seeing as I was at Subway.

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what do u call a black man a black man

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alcoholism kills

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How do you drown a fish? You can't , it is physically Impossible to drown a fish. because they have gills, so they are able to breathe underwater.

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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The Lord told Moses to come forth. He tripped and came fifth.

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Why don't you ever stick your hand into the bottom of the jelly bean jar? Cuz' the black ones will steal your watch

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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