What comes to mind when you say the word "Mind?" Your Mind

Q: What do a dollar bill and a kite have in common A: I dont know

A tree fell in the forest. The person in the house it hit heard it.

What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

So 2 black guys walk into a bar and the bartender looks around and say "what will you fine gentlemen have?" and they order and payed their tab and could not have been more courteous, amirite?

How do you starve a black person? Hide his food stamps in his work boots

A man walks into a bar. He hits his head, and then goes to the nearest drinking establishment.

Why did the black man walk into a bar? To order a drink.

Why did the teenage boy touch himself at night? Because he was shot in the stomach by his drunken father and was trying in vain to stop the bleeding.

Q: Why did the kid cross the playground? A: To get to the other slide

Why do black people like fried chicken? There's cocaine inside.

1Q: Quick! Ask me if I'm a lemon!! 2A: Your not a lemon 1A: :/ oh :/

Why couldn't the hobo buy any clothes? They did not have his size available.

hey i just met you and this is crazy but here is my gun so get in the van

A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

What's funnier than 24? My life.

What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I jack off

What’s funnier than cancer? Most things, really.

How did Helen Keller burn her hands? On a candle.

A man walks into a bar. He I then taken to the hospital for a major head injury.

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How many Jews can you fit in an ashtray? None

Why did the chicken cross the road. ... So he could be hit by a car.

what did the guy say to the goose? i know you don't understand but my life sucks. my wife just dumped me for another man and my kids hate me. thank you. you are the only one to understand.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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