Why did the plane crash? -Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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A: Knock knock. B: Who's there? A: Banana! B: Not you again..(slams door)

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Why do everytime I go to toilet for number 2. I look into the toilet to see if this one's nicer than the last one.

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What was Mozart's favorite vegetable? Aspara-gus.

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So there are three black people on a plane. The pilot comes over the intercom and says "Wow wow wow wait a second... ...why are there only three people on this plane? This is a commercial flight"

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin, your mother has AIDS.

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What happens when you cross a starfish with a dog? Dogs and starfish are from a different phylum. They are genetically incompatible.

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What did Sally get on her 18th birthday? Herpes

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How do you kill a turtle? You can't, it has a shell for a reason.

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While driving at night, a man accidently runs down a young child. Devastated, he runs out of the car and begins to break down. He screams up at the sky "Why God? Why?". And God says nothing, because he's not real.

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Two muffins are in the oven, One says "Damn it, so hot in here," The other one says " Wow! Muffin which can talk!"

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A muslim, a jew, and a black man jump off a cliff. Who hits the ground first? They all hit the ground at the same time because gravity pulls all objects at the same rate regardless of their mass.

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three black men walk into a bar. they where asked polity to leave.

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If rocks were people, what would you call a bunch of marble rolling down a hill? Rocks don't have the ability to be people.

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A cow walks into the butcher shop, he looks around then mourns the loss of his brothers

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Bill gates walked into a store and farted. It stunk up the entire place and the employees were mad. But it was their fault for not having windows.

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Knock Knock Who's There Alex, Now open the door, please. Oh Ok.

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person 1 - what's big, green and ugly? person 2 - don't know. what's big, green and ugly? person 1 - nothing is

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How do you make a doctor cry? Kill his family.

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Why? Because.

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what do you get if you cross a lion with a pig? nothing as the lion would more than likely end up eating the high in fat pig.

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Guess what my dad got me for my birthday? NOTHING, he left my mom and I when I was a baby.

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Two muffins are in an oven. One says "It's getting hot in here". The other one starts to reply but then it's internal organs burst from the heat.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Jews are human beings. Pizza is a type of food.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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