a priest, a rabbi, and a shaman walk into a bar. they all wish me happy birthday bearing gifts. except there's no rabbi. or priest. or shaman. I'm not in a bar. I'm in my room. alone. i spent most of my birthdays that way.

Q. How did Kit Kat candy bars get their name? A. It was chosen by manufacturer.

Your Mom is so fat.... When she's goes to McDonald's and orders 3 Big Macs the people standing in line behind her all look at her with disgust and a tinge of pity.

Why do black people eat at KFC? Because KFC serves good food at reasonable prices.

A black guy wearing a mask runs into a store, points his gun at the cashier, steals some money and runs out. The police start an investigation the following morning

roses are red violets are blue bannas are yellow so is my wife

What's funnier than 24? NOTHING!!!

Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is.

Hey, so I know this guy who knows this guy,who knows this guy,who knows this guy,who knows this guy,who knows this guy,who knows this guy,who knows this guy,who knows this guy's cousin who's name is Mark.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Eggplant.

Your momma's so fat she has a hard time finding clothes to fit

Why did little nancy call the police? Because her dad beats her toaster up.

Try saying "Good Eye Might" without sounding Australian.

I guess we will have to see, if I where to one day use my ways of thinking with the intention to become the most corrupt politician of them all, do you think I would succeed?

A jew enters a mall.

A. What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew: B. Pizza's don't scream when you put them into a oven.

Why did the black man go to prison? He committed a crime that had a penalty of several years in the state penitentiary.

What did the boy reading a book do?  Well, studies show that reading connects the synapses in the human brain, thus, making said boy reading the book a tad bit smarter.

whats the difference between a pizza and a jew? Pizza is not human, Jewish people are.

knock knock. who's there? interupting doctor. interupting doctor who....you have cancer.

a man walks in to a bar he says "what can i get for a free beer" the bartender says "okay but first you have to make my donkey laugh" so he goes in there and makes it laugh and gets a free beer ant then the next day he goes in and says "what can i get for a free beer" the bartender says "okay but first you have to make my donkey cry" so he goes in there and makes the horse cry and the bartender says " i will give you a free beer but first tell me what you did to make my donkey laugh and cry" the man says " first to make the donkey laugh i told the donkey i had a bigger penis than him then to make him cry i showed him

Knock knock Who's there? Me Me who? Me me Oh

How do you tell the difference between a bomb and an Asian? One blows up.

What did the black man do when his car was rear-ended? He exchanged insurance information with the other driver.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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