How do you get a jewish girls number check her wrist

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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Knock Knock. Doors open

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What is next?

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Why was the 18 year boy afraid of his dad? Cause his dad butt raped him when he was 7.

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What happened to the blonde who blew out her birthday candles? Her hair caught on fire

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Why did the Harry Potter fan cry in school? She ran out of tampons.

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Why did the asian man crash? He fell asleep after a long 18 hour day of driving, plus he was listening to soothing soul music.

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Contrary to popular belief- And this just in. My daughter has breast cancer.

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Whats big, ugly, and sucks? Death.

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Why did the giant frog attack the party goers with a ballistic missile? oh where tos tart...it's, just such a long story, I don't really know where to begin, in fact it's probably better if you just take my word for it, no need to go into details. we just don't have time for that now.

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When life gives you lemons. Don't take things from strangers

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If a Cheetah and Usain bolt raced in the Olympics who would win? Obviously Usain hes black and cheetahs can't perform in the olympics

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I created darkness. God created the stars. God created the bee. I created the wasp. God created the child. I banged your mother. Moral: Soon my wings of darkness shall destroy your very own star, these words seem empty now, so I will fill them with true meaning and purpose as I will give the same to you the day the sky brightens no more.

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What's faster than a black guy with your TV? Probably someone who doesn't have to carry such a heavy object.

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come along children

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What did the little boy say after he was pushed off the cliff? Nothing. He died, therefore, he is incapable of speaking.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock Knock. Who's there? It's the chicken.

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even a blind squirrel finds a nut every now and then. but has a high probability of getting hit by a car and slowly dying from crushed limbs

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Why did my car stop suddenly? I had arrived at my appropriate destination.

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What did the girl say to the boy? Hi.

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Your momma's of a reasonable figure and weight.

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Why did Piglet look in the toilet? He was probably fascinated by the flush.

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What do you call a pool filled with black people? A pool

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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