Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk.

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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laughter is the best medicine, unless you have cancer...you will die

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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At a feminist picnic there are no sandwiches.

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What do you get when you put a pig in an oven? A dead pig.

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What do you call a black airline pilot? An airline pilot.

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people magazine

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whats the difference between an orange and a dead baby? one is a tasty treat and the other is an orange

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why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease, an STD from the chicken, as the chicken is a pimp) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

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Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga A: You pokerface

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm not good at poems Nice tits

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Whats he best type of terroist? A dead one.

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How many fish fingers does it take to change a lightbulb? Five.

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How do you make a plummer angry? Kill his family

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Your mom

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Knock knock

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Comes a giraffe on a scooter to the hospital and asks: 'can I have some flour?'.

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Yo mama so fat! She should be concerned because diabetes is a serious problem that can lead to a heart attack. Also STOP EATING MCDONALDS.

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What did Rachel (the columbine girl) get for her birthday?? Nothing she's dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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What do you call a flying jew? Smoke.

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Did you see my sandwitch? No. I am your sandwitch, and therefore no one thought to put me up to a mirror. Would you like me to? No. I have no eyes. And why are you talking to a sandwitch??? ...

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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