Roses are gray, violets are gray. I am a dog.

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and the final bell wrung then they started the mtch and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing that you say when you don't want to fight and ypu let the other person win?" The other guy says, "I give up?" Then the challenger says, " I WIN!!!"

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What worse than seeing a worm in your apple? Half a worm in your apple.

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What's a cow's fovorite vacation spot? Farmyard animals do not receive vacations, they have long hours, no pay, and get eaten upon death.

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So a man walks into a bar… and gets a bad bruise and a big bump.

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how do you call someone? use a phone

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Lukas: can i have a cigarette? Scott: i dont know can you? lukas: may i? Scott: NO

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What do you call a man with no heart? Dead.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

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Why did the man smile at his wife? Because she had a silly looking face, like a fish.

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I don't often drink beer, but when I do, I make the poor decision to attempt to drive while intoxicated, kill a pedestrian, and end up in jail with a hangover, a DUI, and an account of vehicular homicide. Don't drink and drive simultaneously.

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer

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How does Ron Weasley greet Harry in the morning? Mornin' Horry, how did ghe' sleep?

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what did joe eat for breakfast? he didn't eat, joe is schizophrenic steve's best friend

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Me: do u you want to here a joke You: ya Me: Woman's rights

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Bumsniffer

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A Chinese man and an american lived together. The Chinese man said to the american man, "I'm going to walk the dog." The American said "OK." Later that night they were eating dinner. The American said to the Chinese man, "I don't think that I've had this meat before. What is it?" The Chinese man replied, "The dog." The American, surprised, spewed out the food he was eating. "THE DOG!?" he yelled, shocked. The Chinese man replied, "Yes, I TOLD you I was going to wok the dog!"

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Math problem: You have 50 candy bars and decide to eat 45. What do you have now? Diabetes.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Does it really matter?

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Why did Bob throw butter out the window, Because he is mentally retarded.

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HURT

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What do you call a Black guy picking cottnon? A cottonpicker

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How many people does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, more people would just make it harder.

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? a new bike.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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