Knock knock who's threre me, I kill you

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he didn't have the guts.

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Q: What would you think if a homeless person asked, "Spare change for drugs and cigarettes?" A: At least he was being honest.

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A coach walks into the team dressing room at halftime; his team is down 42-0. He screams at the players, "You guys are playing like a bunch of grannies. No offense"

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What is worse than finding a worm in an apple? The Holocaust

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a Jewish preist grew up in a black family. what do you call them? a loving family.

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what do you call an icy road? dangerous.

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Why did the one friend hate the other friend? Because the one friend didnt do a map for social studies he should've done and skipped school for that class and when he came back, the other friend told the social studies teacher he was here and he had to turn in an unfinished poster and now he is a crybaby bitch about it.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? El-if-iknow

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(Knock Knock) Who's there? You were late paying your mortgage and now your house is being repossessed by the bank.

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I'd feel bad for some skinny guy who lived in a very obese family and only got hand me downs.

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In other news, a Florida man was arrested today for stealing candy...with a knife.

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''Wanna hear a joke?'' ''Sure'' ''a joke''

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So you are a giggler huh? You ticklish too? Anyway, you ever watched Deathnote? I was gonna ask something kinda important but it disappeared, so you tell me stuff first. Oh, my parents? Well, they where nice and sweet, but lets talk about something cruel and horrible. (If you switch up nice and sweet with cruel and horrible and the opposite, you will get the picture I am trying to pain here) What makes me so much more interesting huh? And why are you afraid you may look like an Alien? HEEEEEY! I am a legal citizen and I am not freaking Mexican!

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what happens when you try to believe it's not butter? 34 Indonesian kids lose their job.

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a horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face?" and the horse says "my wife has terminal cancer.

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A Asian man with a boner runs and hits the wall... He beaks his nose.

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The King stands next to a pole. The King goes away, the pole stays there.

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An astronaut walks into a bar. He orders a beer. After waiting for about 1 and a half minutes he receives his beer. The bartender says it was 3 dollars. The astronaut checks his wallet and finds no money so he pays with credit card. The bartender swipes his credit card but the card doesn't work. So the astronaut takes out his debit card. When the bartender swipes the debit card it worked. In relief the astronaut looks at the bartender and says "Thank you" and then goes home.

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How did the blonde girl get pregnant? Her boyfriend used a condom left in his pants and then was washed. Making it defective and causing her her to become pregnant.

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Choir.

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What did Little Timmy say when his house fell down? I'm not sure but that sounds like a very sad seen that I hope to never encounter in my personal experiences.

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Why did the teacher give out homework? she is a teacher

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Why was the picture so dark? Because it was night time and there were no light fixtures located anywhere near where the photo was taken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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