What's worse than swing a dead baby by a rope? Stopping it with a shovel.

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What did the sphinx say to the Minotaur? Nothing, as they are fictional creatures and in according to probable science, don't not exist.

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what do you call a man with no arms or legs sitting at your doorstep? matt what do you call a man with no arms or legs floating in the water? bob what do you call a man that just had his daughter taken away from him? ...sam

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Why did the man pull out his chainsaw? To get rid of a tree in his front yard.

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Why did William commit suicide? Because his grandmother had recently died of terminal cancer. His mother left him on the front step when he was two, and moved to Tennessee with her baby daddy.

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How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

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If you have 24 hours to live what would u choose to do? I would choose to take stander ised testing b/c it feels like it's forever.

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Barack Obama, George W. Bush and Dick Cheney are in a room, what are they doing? A: Breathing

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What did the Black man say when he just got home from work? "Hi honey, I just got home from work."

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Knock knock Go away

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: An Elephant was sitting on his face

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Why couldn't the old man see? He was deaf

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A Knock, Knock B There's no door. What are you knocking on?

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why was the man itchy? because he had herpies

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Do you know why i dont write poems Because i thought that violets were violets OTARTS...WAS...HERE

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I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. (do you get it cause the robot has no arms)

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One man says to another "Hey you have banana in your ears." The other man replies "I can't hear you, I have bananas in my ears."

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How much does a fat penguin weigh? 45 kilograms.

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why is your hair black? it was heretitery.

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The tall man says; How's theweather downn there? he's talking to smurf

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A fish finds that his fishbowl is on fire. He escapes the bowl only to realize he is equally screwed.

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What looks like a 50p and has a narrow back?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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