Why did the man commit suicide? Because on top of his depression, his wife had been cheating on him and his kids all died in a horrible hand-gliding mishap.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall. First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Two muffins are baking in an oven. One turns to the other and says, "Boy, it sure is hot in here!" The other one replies, "OMG, A TALKING MUFFIN!"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash and the other one is a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do I want to die? From Chuck Norris killing me, that would be an honor.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down +113

Yo mama is so fat, so when she jumped of a building, she died.

thumb_up thumb_down

THUMBS THIS DOWN AND I WILL KILL YOU! TOTAL PEOPLE DIED FROM THUMBING THIS DOWN: 147289347809237489

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down -193

What do we want? Equal rights for people with Tourette's Syndrome. When do we want them? Fuck!

thumb_up thumb_down -42

What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call it, they aren't going to come.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call an Arabic man flying a plane? A Pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

What did chuck Norris say to the docter Nothing he never has to go to a hospital

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why'd the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey Why'd the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure Why'd the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? his girlfriend broke up with him so he commited suicide Why'd the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? cuz it was a dumbass

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was the school girl called a dork. Because a whale penis is called a dork, and she identically resembles a giant aquatic dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why was 6 afraid of seven? because 7 brutally beat and raped 9

thumb_up thumb_down +4

fallow me on twitter #ieatveloceraptorsfordinner

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He simply lost grip of the cone and it fell out of his hand

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Dylan is gay

thumb_up thumb_down -18

knock knock who's there? boo don't do this joke again- i'll make you cry if you finish it don't cry it is just a knock knock joke teeheehee

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile? " Hey Robin, get in the Batmobile."

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What is the funny thing about suicide? nothing...

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What happens 2 seconds after you thorw a rock out a two-story window? The rock hits the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops