A cat starts grooming itself How many sprinkles does it take to cover the moon Cabinet because whales live in water

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I've got 99 problems and they're all stressing me out and causing me to be very unhappy.

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A young boy recently saved a priests life. He found a solid lump on his testicle.

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Knock Knock There was no answer as the house was empty.

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What's long hard and full of seman. A submarine.

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Hi Mum!!!!!!!!

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What happened to Johnny when he fell of his bike? He had a seizure, went into a coma, and forced his parents to take him off life support. Happy birthday Johnny.

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what's one thing we're all tired of but they still make? Those crappy love songs.

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Why does the same anti-jokes pop up over and over again? Because people have no creativity.

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Why couldn't tom concentrate on his homework? Because he was a loaf of bread.

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How do you stop a dog from digging up your garden? Every time it does so, shout at the dog so it knows it has misbehaved. Keep doing this and the dog will eventually understand the error of its ways.

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Pickles

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What did the french toast say to the french fry? I don't know, I don't speak french.

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What is the biggest lie in the entire universe? " I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

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What the difference between a black man and a pizza? A black man is capable of feeding a family. A pizza is capable of feeding an American.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She didn't. Despite losing her arms in a terrible accident as a child, Suzy persevered to become a renowned gymnast. After several turns as a champion Special Olympian, Suzy retired from sports in order to tour elementary schools as a guest speaker. She inspired thousands of disabled children across North America and was a highly-respected orator. Suzy sadly passed away in 2009 at the age of 62. She is survived by her two lovely daughters, Karen and Michelle.

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Jesse is so fat that Roy is jealous of his big ass tits

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What is big, long, hot, and firm? An erection due to the arousal of a woman's sex appeal.

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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Inbreeding is no laughing matter but damn is it funny.

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What do you call a black man running with a TV? A hard working individual who is in a rush to watch his new TV that he bought.

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Wiggle wiggle wiggle yeah

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Whos there? NOT SALLY.

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Why don't women need watches? Because most people carry cell phones that tells them the time making watches redundant and obsolete.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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