Q.who is Tiny, a lion and has no friends and is a bald eagle? A.Rory Johnston

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What did 0 say to 8? Nice belt

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What did one muffin say to the other? I'm baked... just kidding muffins are food and therefore can not speak

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What did catwoman say to batman? meow.

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Why did the blind kid hit the other kid in the face? He was trying to give him a high-five.

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Why did the black man lose his leg? Because he was kidnapped and tortured.

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A black man walks into a store with a gun. It is a gun store and he needs to buy amunition after using all of his to fend of a home invader, and protect his family. He lives in a bad area because he never went to college and cannot get a well paying job in this economy, so he can't afford to buy a house in a better area He then used the gun to rob a bank. He no longer lives in a poor area

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens have feeble minds and tend to wander around.

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What is black and goes blub-blub? A black blub-blub. Good job. What is red and goes blub-blub? There is no such thing as a red blub-blub, you idiot.

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Why did h little boy drop his ice cream? Jerry Sandusky was behind him.

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What does a homeless guy do when he's hungry ? Nothing, he has no food.

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Why is it unpleasant to eat a meal with lots of basketball players? Because they will be focussing entirely on discussing tactics (especially if there is an upcoming game), and therefore will probably not be displaying good manners or making polite mealtime conversation.

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Why did Sarah fall of the swing? Because she was very careless and swung too high.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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4 gay men walk into a bar,but there is only one stool..... What do they do? Turn it over

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Q: Why do police men keep killing unarmed black men? A: I don't know.

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what is better than your entire family getting brutally murdered applesauce

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what is brown and sticky? a stick

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What was John Lennon's last hit? The pavement.

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What does 1+1 equal? 2

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there is a blonde, red head, and brunet held captive in afghanistan. The people say whats your last word to the red head, she says tornado... they turned and she escaped, they say to the brunet what is your last word, she says tsunami.. they turn and she escaped. They go to the blonde and say what is your last word, she says fire... she is then shot rapidly and she dies.

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Did you hear about the blind man who got stuck by a bus? Poor guy never saw it coming.

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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What do you call a Jew in Harlem? It depends on what his name is. I advise procuring a polite introduction from a mutual acquaintance.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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