What do you get if you cross a fairy cake with some boiled parsnips? Fladgemuffin

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Ben Corbishley

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How did Muhammed Ali get into Professional Boxing? With a lot of hard work and dedication.

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Knock Knock Who's there Your serial killer

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a lamborghini? Dead babies are not sports cars

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A man walked into a bar and asked if he could use the toilet The bartender told him that it was for paying customers only The man walked up to the bartender, ordered a drink and then proceeded to go to the toilet He came back feeling refreshed, finished his drink and said his goodbyes

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He removes the piece of lingerie from his face and continues shopping for clothes.

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How do you make a 5 year old cry? Kill their parents.

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How do you get a dog to stop humping you? Pick him up and suck his dick.

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why do ducks have webbed feet? to stomp out fires. why do elephants have flat feet? to stomp out the burining ducks.

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Why do sharks swim in salt water? Pepper water makes them sneeze! Why do whales swim in salt water? They can't survive in fresh water.

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how do you wake up lady gaga? set her alarm for a reasonable hour

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Why did the tomato blush? A tomato's complexion is already red so it simply appears to be blushing

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Knock Knock Who's There Alex, Now open the door, please. Oh Ok.

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What do chicken and babies have in common? They both taste like chicken.

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Mario goes home after a hard day of work and finds his entire family killed and a note from Bowser... He is now an asshole who beats and rapes kids...

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what is green and has wheels grass i lied about the wheels

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Why didn't the Mexican have car insurance? Because he was 12 years old and didn't have a car so he had no need for car insurance.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Chris. Chris who? Wow, I thought we were better friends than that.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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The other day, a buddy of mine gave me some of his sandwich. "My wife made it," he said. "It's really good," I answered. We chewed in silence after that.

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Kumquats, daffodils, and potato salad.

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Why would a baby cry? Because it's being put through a juicer.

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What do you call girls that can run faster than me? Virgins

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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