Knock knock. who's there? your dead cat, here you go.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are red,Lemons are sour,Open your legs and give me an hour

thumb_up thumb_down -7

W. If I was one thing other then a person why would I be? M. The sun. W. Aww, so I brighten your day? M. No, you're just hard to look at.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why do all black people look the same? They don't, you're either just racist or unobservant.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you get a clown to stop smiling? Throw a brick at him.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Ham sandwich

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What do you call a woman with one leg? I don't know. I am not in the position, currently, of knowing anyone who finds themselves in such an unfortunate condition.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why didn't Johnny go to the party? He was aborted as a fetus

thumb_up thumb_down +9

So two cannibals are eating a clown. Cannibal one: Does this taste funny to you? Cannibal two: Considering that this man was a clown he must have been in poverty so he resulted to being an alcoholic and maybe over dosed on over the counter drugs. Cannibal one: Thank you for that reasonable answer.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What would you do for a Klondike bar? I'd go all the way to the store and buy one.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: Why didn't the chicken cross the road. A: because he's a chicken?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

If life hands you lemons you're probably hallucinating

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man walks into a bar. He orders a beer.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did one apple say to the other apple? -Nothing, apples can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Bob dole

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I always tell people " I have the heart of a child! " Then I continue "It's in a jar on my desk"

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, seeing as the slaughterhouse was directly across the road from the farm where the chicken lived, the man who owned the farm led his flock of chickens across the street when they were of age and fattened up so that they could be inhumanly massacred in order to process an order of chicken nuggets.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

guys cmon dont make fun about abbie make fun of josh brown WHAT A NOOB

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree? Get a ladder and help her down.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was shot.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

how many jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front and 3 in the back depending on how many people decide to go

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you do when your girlfriend is bleeding? She is probably on her period.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops