Knock Knock. Who's there? (a police officer steps in and says): What is red and green and peed all over? I dont know Im sorry to say, but its your mother. A group of teens killed her and defiled her body with urine. She was wearing green.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I can't wait to shove my finge in you

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Haikus are awesome but sometimes they don't make sense hippopotamus

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how many high school boys does it take to change a light bulb?? idk the light bulb in my bathroom is out and i need to know how many boys to call over to fix it.

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Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the moon. It burnt up on re-entry

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish

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when the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's a black eye.

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Whats lemon scented and you shouldn't drink? Bleach

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to fix a lightbulb? Lets go ride bikes.

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How did the two friends cross the busy road? They couldn't, because that would be considered jay-walking

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Whats worse than finding 2 worms in your apple? 2 Holocausts.

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Why do leprechauns laugh when they run through the grass? Because it tickles their nuts.

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What do you call a man with no head? Nothing he has no ears.

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Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

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What did the pedophile say to the little girl? "I have a condition and I think it would be healthy for both of us if you stayed within the supervision of your parents"

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whats worse than finding the holocaust on your forehead? a mono brow

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72

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the comment about daniel was fron brock

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he has has no arms.

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Why didn't the cat eat its dinner? Because I nailed its head to the floor.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Due to Helen Keller's disabilities she wasn't able to own an animal. If she did have a dog, it would be named spot because that was a popular pet name in that period of time.

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Who is JP? A really smart kid! HAHA jk

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How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends on its sex. Females weigh 150-250kg, and males weigh upwards of 350kg.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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