how do you kill chuck norris. you don't

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why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

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hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

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There's a Mexican and a black guy in a car... Who's driving? The Cop!!!

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What she says: “You’re really sweet, but I have a boyfriend.” What she means: “You’re really sweet, but I definitely don’t want to date you.”

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What do you call a man who interru- SHUT UP!

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roses are red violetes are blue you need to shut up or I will kill you

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Nero Octavios reporting, so far all of our sectors worldwide excluding Spain, Italy and Ground Zero are secure, Nero Augustus is severely wounded but will make it, and despite the our intel Necrissa Angelo is alive and well. We have one single worry though Nero7 the brunt force of the terror attack was large and powerful, yet resistance was incredibly light when we went for the counter-strike, too light, we might have to ready ourselves for some sort of reprisal here.

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What did the blind and deaf kid get for christmas? Cancer.

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What do you call someone who puts one number on here as a joke? Someone with no life.

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What is next?

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Q: What has four eyes but can't see? A: A blind guy with glasses

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Where does Osama bin Laden do his shopping? He doesn't, he's dead.

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Why was the truck driver speeding down the road? To get to his mother's funeral. Why didn't the baby cross the road? Because it didn't have any guts.

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Who will win in a fight Chuck Norris or Chuck Norris? I don't even know who he is -Lets go METS!!!!!!

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Q: What do you do when the light burns out A: Just replace it with a bulb from a less used room

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Why did Johnny buy the strawberry ice cream? Because when he gets the chocolate he vomits and bleeds out of his asshole.

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Why did the bus drop a boy holding ice cream? Its driver was not paying full attention on the road and was sentenced 15 years for manslaughter.

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What did the people say to each other when they ate the orange? Orange you glad I didn't eat you:) HAHAHAA orange you glad that I am good at telling jokes!

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Yo Momma's sooo fat that the speed of light at her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s.

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What have a blueberry and a raspberry got in common? They both can't ride a skateboard

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How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? several.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I dunno, that's why I asked you.

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What would Billy Mays do if he were alive today? Yell.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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