What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A nugget

Hi

Why did the girl get run over by a bus? The bus driver was blind.

Knock Knock Who's there? After no response, the man chuckled as he realized the sound of his TV mimicked that of his door knocker.

What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech? One is a blood-sucking parasite, and the other practices law for a living.

What did the vibrator say to the condom? Watch, I'll get laid before you do!!!

Why was the man in a great deal of pain? Because he was hit in the face with a sack of potatoes.

knock knock who's there? rude, interrupting cow rude, interrupting cow who? just kidding, its steve. cows can't talk

Poem Of Love: Each time i see you i feel like i need you and i love you.. i hope you became my girl and live with me cause without you i can't live.

A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says "Hey, we've got a drink named after you!". The grasshopper turns and says "You've got a drink named Steve?"

How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

My friends and family all recommended me for alcoholics anonymous, but all i had to say is that my father didn't raise me to be quitter.

What are the things that define you? The things that define you.

What's brown and furry on the outside, soft moist and tastes good on the inside, begins with "C" and ends with "T", and has a "U" and an "N" in it? A coconut.

What did the elderly lady say to the man? You still have not repaid my services

What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson? I thought you were dead.

Your mother is so ugly that I removed her from my friends list on Facebook.

Life is like a box of chocolates, quite strange to enjoy when you're single.

What kind of dance does an alien do? None, aliens aren't real.

What`s pink and fluffy? Pink fluff What did the banana say to the ear? Hello

whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

What do you get if you cross a horse with a cow? A horse and a cow.

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? He had nobody to go with :)

Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? Because she has no arms. Why did the little child orphan with no arms or legs get for christmas? CANCER and for his birthday A.I.D.S. R.I.P little orphan

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...