What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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Whats worse than a worm in your apple? A worm in your asshole.

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how you throw 'em.

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lol

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Whats the difference between a woman and a fridge? A fridge doesn't fart when you take your meat out!

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Is that my bread? I sure hope so.

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How do make a boy cry? You cut off his eyelashes

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A doctor rides in his Mercedes Benz through a rough, poor part of town. He sees a homeless person who is begging for money. The doctor stops and gets out of his car and asks "Ill give you some money if you need it for food". The homeless person then shoots and kills the doctor, takes his wallet, and buys crack.

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Beans, beans, are good for your heart the more you eat the less hungry you are.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad with colours Nice tits

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Ben has 3 apples and Charlie has 2 apples, how many carrots can fit in my anus? Banana, because cows have 4 legs

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where does al queda go on a business trip the twin towers

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-Knock knock! -Who's there? -A kazoo. -A kazoo who? -A small, simple musical instrument consisting of a hollow pipe with a hole in it, over which is a thin covering that vibrates and produces a buzzing sound when the player sings or hums into the pipe.

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so your skydiving in the ocean and one of you bedroom windows break. how many bloodstains does it take to paint a peice of bread covered in goat milk? the answer is D. 2731 books on cannabalism

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Why are you late? Sorry, I would have been here sooner, only I wasn't.

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Why did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Because you touch yourself at night

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How do you stop your child from picking his nose? Cut his hands off

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What did the dead man say? Nothing because dead human beings have no beating heart and do not live so they cannot speak.

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In soviet russia...the abundance of natural oils and rich agricultural land provide it with a thriving economy

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Well, I have to go eat again "Axel Knight". See you around soon enough, just give me a call if you want me around... Hopefully I find a fucking telescope so I can read the code on the chip thingie... Damn I am hungry. See you around sugartits.

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I like to slap biitches, I like to slap hoes

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*Ring* *Ring* Bartender : Hello? Stranger:Is Mike Hunt their? Bartender: Mike Hunt! Is Mike Hunt here?! Mike Hunt: Oh thank god! I've been anticipating this phone call for a while now! I've been stranded here for hours and my wife's been killed and the killer is still out there!

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How do you kill a blonde? Shoot her in the head.

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Why didn't the baby cry? It was stillborn.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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