What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels at the loss of their newborn child.

brock has small hands for a small job

What's small, white, and it killed Bruce Lee? Aspirin.

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

Q. What is small, ugly and severely asthmatic? A. My younger brother. Jimmy.

What do you call a poor man on the side of the rode asking for money? A poor man on the side of the rode asking for money.

The first train go fowards at 250 mph, and the second train takes a left, how many pancakes are on my rooftop? - The answer is purple because aliens don't dribk coffee

There once was a man from Nantucket, He sailed a boat.

What is the difference between you and I? I obviously have a life aas you don't because you are still reading these stupid jokes.

A man was drowning in a lake and so he asked God to save him. A man on a boat came by and said to the drowning man "Do you need any help?" The drowning man said "Yes! Thank God a boat came for me!" So the man on the boat pulled the man from the water and saved him.

Q: What's wrong with being gay A: Nothing is wrong with anybody because we're all human

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he knew that the neighbors wouldn't "touch him there"

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

did you hear the joke about the lobster and the clownfish? no.. oh.

Why did Johnny fall off his bike? His father never taught him how to ride one as he was an abusive alcoholic who abandoned Johnny's mother when Johnny was 3, so he is not very good at riding bikes.

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What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

What is white, average height and cannot jump as high as a black man? A fridge.

A girl walks into a supermarket. She picks up a banana, a can of soup, and a loaf of bread. She then walks up to the cash register to pay. The cashier looks at her and the items she has and says, "I can tell you're single." She smiles and responds, "How do you know that?" He says, "Because you're ugly."

Why can't Larry drive? Larry's a rock.

In Soviet Russia, millions die under an oppressive and uncaring regime that uses communism to justify its inhumane policies.

Why was the woman so hot? she was on fire

There were three soap salesmen in a bar. They were comparing how good they were at selling their wares. "I'm so good that I sell 60% of my soap bars each day," says the first salesman, bragging. The second one wasn't to be outdone. "I'm so good that I sell 80% of my soap bars," he declared. The last salesmen, who, up to the moment had been relatively quiet, suddenly said in a calm and collected manner, "Oh that's nothing. I'm so good that I sell all of my soap bars each day."

"My foot is killing me" "no, actually it's that noose around your neck"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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