Whats worse than finding a worm guts in your apple? Being raped by a alien with no arms then passed on to his comrades to be raped for the rest of your life.

thumb_up thumb_down -82

A Jew and a Neo-Nazi meet in a bar. They put aside their differences and enjoy a few rounds of drinks.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q:How did the blonde commit suicide? A: She didn't, she sought help and was able to live a very happy life with a beautiful family in a nice suburb outside of Cincinnati.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why did the Blonde say something stupid? Because she is stupid

thumb_up thumb_down +160

What looks and sounds just like a seagull ? A seagull.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A baby seal walks into a club. :|

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a Middle Eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road A: Will Smiths rapping attempt was suprisingly not harmful to his career as he later played in blockbusters such as Independence Day, Men in Black, The Pursuit of Happiness ect..

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why is the horny toad named that way? Because its a misnomer of the horned lizard.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q: Where is the best place to hide a black persons food stamps? A: In their wallet so they can go to the grocery store and support their family with the little amount of help they get.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he's dead

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? - Because it died.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

There is a boy in a school............. SUDDENTLY, PEDOBEAR APPEARS!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's worse than dying? Dying twice.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the cop do when he saw two Mexicans buying coke? Warned them of the health risks of drinking carbonated soft drinks.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Who knows? They all just sit and bitch about it.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Guess what? What? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

roses are red, windows are clear, get off your ass and bring me a beer

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the dog cross the road? He was on a walk with his owner so they used a crosswalk to safely get back home.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Micheal jackson had half a pie, Fred had the other half of the pie, They both shared a pie.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why did your mom die? Cuz i killed her

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the Frisbee gettiing bigger and bigger and bigger.." Then it hits me.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops