knock knock who's there? the milk man the milk man who? the milk man who brings your milk every morning

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What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? An ambulance due to the fact that he has a rather serious head wound.

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15

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If life throws you melons, you might be dyslexic.

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4

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping at least one of the puns would win but, unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

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A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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- Why did the man with the big pocket get arrested in Utah? - Because adultery is illegal in Utah.

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How do you make a basketball team short You cut off their legs

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How do you stop a black person from drowning? You toss him a flotation device.

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What do you get when you cross the motorway with a lottery ticket? You get knocked down and killed.

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What do you get when you cross a black man and a Mexican man? I don't know.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Well it's not going to happen so I don't see the point in giving this a name.

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despite popular opinion to the contrary you shouldn't eat mercury.

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Why is Scientology the Fastest Growing Religion of 21st Century? It isn't, its a cult.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam. Every time he closes his eyes, he's sees Charlie hiding in the darkness of the forest. Not that you could ever see those bastards, mind you. They were fast and they knew their way around the jungle. He remembers the looks on the boy's faces when they walked into that village and... oh Jesus. He shouldn't think about that now. Sometimes he still hears Tex's slow southern drawl. He remembers the smell of Brooklyn's cigarettes. He always had a pack of Luckys. But the boys are gone now... he knows that. It's--it's just that he forgets sometimes. And sometimes the way that seven looks at him... it makes him think. Sets him on edge. And he feels like he's back there... In the jungle... In the darkness. Seven has a hook for a hand as well, which is very scary.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a brand new Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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i like boobs haha ha hahaha

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Nicki Minaj walks into a bar... there's no punchline because ruining music isn't funny.

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Womens Rights

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy I have alzheimer's Bacon

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face

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i dont hate yu i jus really really dislike yu!!!

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wh@t d0 y0u c@II @ d0g5sh£t w1th n0 sm£II? 0ID d0gsh£T

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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