Q:What did the duck say to the other duck A:We are both ducks

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Why couldn't the old man read the street sign? Because there were no words. Just an arrow designating a trun up ahead.

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What's worse than burning a candle. Burning the bible. -Juanita

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What is black and white and red all over? A nun that just fell down the stairs.

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What happens if you are in the north pole at a temperature of -2 Cº and you throw a rock to the air in straight line? The green rockeater will eat it

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A girl's opinion is respected.

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Why did the woman get into a car accident? She was blind.

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what's 9+10? 19, not 21

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Engage in a lively debate with a friend, and when they are about to stump you, respond to whatever they say next with "What does that have to do with the price of tea in China?"

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Roses are red, I have a phone, nobody texts me, forever alone...

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Q: What did the clam say to the postman? Moral: "Hey its me the worlds only talking clam! How you doing dude!"

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I asked her where you were.

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why does her hair shine so nicely? she uses good shampoo.

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- Server, there's a hair in my soup ! - You're right, sir, I'll give you another soup imminently.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam. Every time he closes his eyes, he's sees Charlie hiding in the darkness of the forest. Not that you could ever see those bastards, mind you. They were fast and they knew their way around the jungle. He remembers the looks on the boy's faces when they walked into that village and... oh Jesus. He shouldn't think about that now. Sometimes he still hears Tex's slow southern drawl. He remembers the smell of Brooklyn's cigarettes. He always had a pack of Luckys. But the boys are gone now... he knows that. It's--it's just that he forgets sometimes. And sometimes the way that seven looks at him... it makes him think. Sets him on edge. And he feels like he's back there... In the jungle... In the darkness. Seven has a hook for a hand as well, which is very scary.

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=3

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A bunch of nuns were riding a three-seat bicycle. The seats were comfy and no one complained.

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What's worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice

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What did the mexican fireman call his twin sons? nothing. they were stillborn

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Q: How do you kill a Brazilian Blind Electric Ray? A: Killing endangered species is a crime.

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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Whats worse then a worm in your apple This joke

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boy: you want to hear something funny? girl: what? boy: women's rights girl: you want to hear something trivial? boy: what? girl: your penis

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A man was driving and texting at the same time and when he was not looking a car passed him on the other side of the road. The man driving the car that passed the man was talking on the phone. When the man txting looked up and look back and said thank god thats not me talking i could of crashed if i was him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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