What does a salmon and a falcon have in common They both live underwater except for the falcon.

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A blond walked into a bar. A guy picked her up and then they had sex.

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Jimmy: Knock Knock Nick: Whose there? Jimmy: Joe Nick: Joe Who? Jimmy: Joe Mamma Nick: No shes dead.

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Why was the little kid bullied? Because kids are goats.

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What do you call a black man at the head of the U.S.? A mistake.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

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what's the best way to remove leaves from a tree? take them off

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Why is it unpleasant to eat a meal with lots of basketball players? Because they will be focussing entirely on discussing tactics (especially if there is an upcoming game), and therefore will probably not be displaying good manners or making polite mealtime conversation.

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Why did the group of black men not get paid for all of their manual labor? It was the early 1800's.

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i like candy and other things that are edible... please dont thumbs down just cuz this suxxx just put thumbs up and santa claus will haunt u :)

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c======3

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Q. want to hear a really funny joke? A. Fred Figglie-horn

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

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Why are there so many smiths in the phonebook? Because they all have phones.

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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What is long and black? Some umbrellas.

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Why w\s the English man, the French man, the German man, the Indian man, the Chinese man, the Irish man, the American man and the russian man all on a train together? They where going to the olympics.

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What's the hardest part of walking through a pile of dead babies? My penis.

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Roses are rde, violets are bule, I am dyslexic, how about you?

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? The chicken decided go get cigarettes and then hang out at a bar. The chicken sitts next to horse, the horse says "Why the sad face?" The chicken justs sitts there, thinking about the insanity that he has caused. "I don't know, is my joke not getting old?" Replied the chicken.

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New mission: refuse this mission

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A man tells a blonde "you are what you eat" and she replies "well, i don't think I've eaten any sexy beasts today.'

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So, you got to take medications daily or die? Are you in pain my dear?

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How did the deaf girl die? I beeped but she didnt hear me

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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