whats orange, green and has a treadmill attached to it? a cantaloupe, i lied about the treadmill.

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How do you like them apples I dont like aplles

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What did the boy with a crippled arm get for his birthday? A guitar.

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I went to the doctors the other day for a check up and the doctors says to me "sorry your going to have to stop wanking" and I say to him " what! Why?" and the doctor says "I'm trying to examine you".

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Guy 1: Ask me if I have a banana in my ear. Guy 2: Do you have a banana in your ear? Guy 1: Sorry I can't hear you I have a banana in my ear

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Why did Sally fall of the swing set? Because she got hit with a mattress

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What did the white person say to the black person? Nothing, the black person was sleeping.

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How do you get a one armed Polish man out of a tree? With a ladder, he needs help.

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Why was the man tired at his soccer game? Because he did not sleep well the night before

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richard is fag

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What's the difference between a blonde and a microwave? If you don't know the difference you need a psychiatrist.

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did you hear about the sidewalk? its all over town.

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like if your cool

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to severely injure a human.

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the only thing i learned in geometry is when you push two circles together it makes a titty venn diagram

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A mechanical wheelchair.

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Why didn't Suzie answer her mother? Suzie has a serious condition where she is mute and also severely deaf.

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Why was the man sad? His intestines were imploding and his head was shot off seventeen seconds ago.

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how do you know if a fish is gay? you ask it

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Q. What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a trampoline? A. I don't were cleats when I jump on my trampoline.

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a preist sees a rabbi on the street while taking a walk. he says hi and proceeds to have a nice conversation as they are good friends despite their religous differences

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What do you call a man named Cornelius? Well, he prefers to go by his middle name, Eric, because he was teased as a child for being named Cornelius.

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I named my cat Pounce because she jumps. In retrospect I suppose most cats do jump, in fact, they are even known for it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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