Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Her father beat her

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you get a chicken to cross the road? Get him in the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the little girl get a new tricycle? To cope with her father's death

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Whats the difference between a jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a stove or firepit while jews are functioning members of society.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long face?". The horse stares eats an apple and trots out... Horses can't speak therefore do not understand the question and cannot reply

thumb_up thumb_down +10

When life gives you lemonade, give life lemons and it'll be like WTF?!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

steve walked into a bar, what happened next? A: He fell down.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How many jews does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Boy: Doctor! Doctor! I can't see my arm! Doctor: It's because your blind son

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the chicken cross the road? He had no conscience and therefore was not able to backup the very reason that he crossed the road.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the banana say to the other banana? We're both marshmallows

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How many gays does it take to change a lightbulb? It's COMPLETELY circumstantial.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the tree fall down? Because no one caught it.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Jewish guy walks into a bar. He owns the place.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why don't cannibals eat clowns? Clowns do not populate the area in which cannibals reside

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Jesus once got nailed to a cross, beaten and gave his life in order to prove he was immortal. Safe to say, people remain impressed even 2000 years later. Moral: Lol, hey, its quite a feat, but what life did he give if he was immortal? Jesus is a okay dude though, he stole donkeys from stables (for transport) and when his disciples asked if stealing was bad he replied: God will provide for them. Awesome.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Amedeo Clemente Modigliani was an Italian artist who worked mainly in France. Primarily a figurative artist, he became known for paintings and sculptures in a modern style characterized by mask-like faces and elongation of form. He died in Paris of tubercular meningitis, exacerbated by poverty, overwork, and addiction to alcohol and narcotics.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the old man say to the young man? Nothing, the old man was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's worse than being mugged? Being raped by bulbasaur.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q: why did the little boy fall off the swing? A: He had no arms Q: Why couldn't he get up? A: He died when he hit the ground

thumb_up thumb_down +10

if dave has 50 candy bars and eats 45 what does he have? diabeties.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you get if you mix razor blades with babies? An erection.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is yellow, has wheels, and lays on it's back? A school bus after a traffic accident

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why do people who walk into bars never have names?

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops