what's faster than a jet? a speeding bullet. what's faster than a speeding bullet? light.

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Knock, Knock. I have no door.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? When he first entered the world, Chicken was a lonely bird. Nobody else liked him. Not even his mother. He was small and scrawny, and whenever the farmer came to feed the pigs or shear the sheep, he would get scared and hide in between two pieces of wood. One day Chicken woke up and his family was gone. Although they had never loved him, his heart was tender, and he was desperately concerned for him. After hours of searching for them, he overheard Cow speaking to Horse: "It's a tragedy, really. They were such a happy family. But now their off to the land of KFC, forever lost in the sea of chicken wings. But Chicken was determined to change his family's fate. He escaped the barn and ran into the woods. There he traveled day by day, and at night he hid from the hungry wolves. Life in the forest was tough, but no tougher than the loss of loved ones, so he kept going. On and on and on, until the forest ended and the city began. It was a new world to Chicken. He had never seen so many different buildings and contraptions. His eyes had never before held the wonder of the majesty of such a strange place. After traveling through the dangerous alleys of the city, he finally found it: the terrible land of KFC. The place where humans' dreams begin, but chickens' end. The place of horror and death and unfairness. The place that summarized Chicken's whole life. He was here now. The only thing separating him from his family was a road. A road that was so small compared to his previous trials, so incomprehensibly tiny when placed Nextel to the gaping hole in his broken heart. So the chicken crossed the road. Then he got hit by a bus.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Duck, Duck who? Duck Sandwich

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How do you make a fat kid cry? You hold an onion up to their face.

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Roses are Black Violets are black I am colorblind, are you to?

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So there is a white guy and a jewish guy walking, they find a penny on the ground who takes it? The white guy because he is in debt.

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Joe Paterno walks into a police station.

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Why was the boy late for class? He was late because he got stabbed and left in the bathroom.

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What did Grandma give her grandson Billy for Christmas? Scarring memories of sexual abuse.

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Yo daddy!

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How would you punish Helen Keller? Make her read a basketball.

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What has three legs, one eye, and is green and fuzzy. I don't know. Me either.

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whats worse than breaking your arm? getting raped by a squirel

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How many years old is Chuck Norris? The same amount of years that it has been since he was born.

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if chuck norris had 5 dollars and you had 5 dollars he would have 10 dollars

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What happens when you cross a starfish with a dog? Dogs and chickens are from a different phylum, they are genetically incompatible.

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Two cows in a field one says Moo the other says, Moo

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Whats worse than 3 black guys. 4 black guys.

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Did you see that picture of Helen Keller's dad? Yes. She didn't.

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How do you keep a black man from hanging around your tree? You cut the rope.

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You know what's gay? Grabbing another man's penis.

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http://www.booksie.com/declan_mckimm

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have the Cadillac, Get the Guns

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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