Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Whats the differwnce between a little girl and a fridge? The fridge doesnt scream when i put meat in it

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How do you silence Justin Bieber? Hold his head under water until he stops struggling.

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Why did little Suzy fall off the swing? She didn't have arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzy.

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The daring man said "here goes nothing." And nothing happened. -Tag

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Some wild chickens have regular seasonal migration patterns that might require them to cross a road while traveling south. Wild chicken movements include those made in response to changes in food availability, habitat or weather.

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A man walks into a bar. The bar tender asks him "why the long face?" He replies "Because I'm a horse, you jackass".

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So, I was walking down the street. As i walked past a oak door an entrance to a mental institution, I heard a bored voice going, "eleven, eleven, eleven". My curiosity, like a cat, got better of me and I decided to take a peek through the key hole and see the eleven things being counted. As soon as I had my eye on the key hole, I was poked in the eye by a metal rod. Startled, I feel back to the street. And, sure enough, heard the same bored voice, going, "twelve, twelve, twelve".

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.......ah shit i forgotten the joke

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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DING DONG! Did you have to ring the doorbell? You just ruined a good knock knock joke!

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Ever heard of a funny black guy? Me either

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Get in the van.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I forgot to go to the bathroom

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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there are some things i dont get. Quantum Physics is one of them.

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What did Tom get for Christmas? Gloves, but Tom had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? NOT TOM

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Why was the boy put on his socks? So he wouldn't get blisters.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My name is Paco, And yours is too.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Disc . Disc Who. Disconnected.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Its children were just slaughtered.

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What's white and sticky? A glue stick.

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Your mother is so ugly that people make yo mamma jokes about her

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What does an Irishman order at the bar?? A beer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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