A man walked into a bar and said ow.

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Dwarf Shortage

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What do a fish and a moose have in common? They both live under water, apart from the moose.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Unfortunately there are billions of chickens in the world and based on the question it is not possible to determine which specific chicken is being referred to. Even if we were able to ascertain this knowledge it would be unlikely that we could determine its purpose, as chickens don't usually make decisions based on logical thought.

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What happened to the old lady with a hat? She fell down

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What's black and self-describing? The words of this joke.

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What did the boy and the dog do at the park? Nothing, the dogs dead

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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boo

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What do you call a Russian civil war? A war in which one side wants to seced from the other.

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A plane crashes on the border of the United States and Canada. Where do they bury the survivors? Why would they bury the survivors? THEY'RE ALIVE

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have alzheimers, Roses are red

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How do dinosaurs pay their bills? They don’t, dinosaurs don’t have a capital system.

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Why did the kid lay down? Because his legs were chopped off

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Why did the first squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure. Why did Bobby fall off his bike? He was hit by 4 squirrels Why did bobby die? He was hit by a bus

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Why didn't the little boy wake up today? Because he's dead

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Where does a successful black person live? Neverland.

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DONT think about ELEPHANTS. Your thinking about elephants now.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't because it got hit by a car.

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I know Mandarin, He's a good friend of mine

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Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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chuck norris multiplied by zero equals zero.

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WHAT DOES A NUMBER DO WHEN IT'S HORNE? MATHDERBATION

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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