What`s red and smells like blue paint? A sunburned baby drinking green paint.

What makes men cry? The realization that humanity is completely pointless in the infinitely expanding universe and thus any action to try and improve human life is also a complete farce.

How do Germans treat the Jewish? Kindly, and with much hospitality.

what do you get when you have unprotected sex with a hooker? an orgasm

four blondes where on their way to disneyworld they see a sign that say disneyworld:left so they turn around wondering where disneyworld went

Yes, I'll have the cordon bleu, see voo play.

How did the hillbilly fix his PC? He brought it to Wal-Mart and got a diagnostics from an expert then installed anti virus software.

GINGERVITIS! 1. redhair 2.freckles 3.no soul 4.depression/anger 5.gay JLR

What do you call a black guy who kills people? A murderer.

How do you stop a air plane? You throw small infants into the turbine.

Writing is hard Poems are strong I am muslim And this is a bomb.

What did the little boy say when he was asked what he wanted to be when he grew up? Adolf Hitler

whats yellow and cant swim? A bulldozer

Wanna hear a clean joke? I took a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is the girl next door.

A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

What's worse than losing one of your socks? Being jewish during the holocaust

Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a rapist

Did you know Helen Keller had a swing set in her backyard? Neither did she.

Why did Kelsey run out of eggs? Horses don't have much sperm.

Why did the black man have drugs? He had a very serious medical condition that involved putting himself at a high risk at any time without proper medications, therefore he requires drugs to sustain him and hopefully prevent him from dying. To immediately believe that he was in possession of illegal drugs is a very racist assumption that is representative of one of the numerous racial problems that faces our society today.

What did the asian boy's parents say when he came home with a report full of b-pluses? "You did well, but try harder next time."

How do you make transportation in Harlem easier? Fix the roads and put in more stoplights.

How do you tell if an elephant has been in your refrigerator? You find someone you trust and say "an elephant has been in my refrigerator".

What's the difference between a catcher's mitt and Lou Ferrigno? If you seriously said "I don't know, what?" I suggest getting a medical examination by a professional psychologist.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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