What did the sheep say to the Commonwealth Committee on September 11 2001? Baabaaabaaaahhh

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q.why was ireland takin over by the brits A.they wanted it

thumb_up thumb_down +25

When you give your homecoming date flowers, you're really handing them a bouquet of sex organs

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the white guy die because he had cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why was the house on fire? A dog peed on it.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what's the difference between a car and a pile of dead babies? nothing, they're both overused anti jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

how do you get rid of your home work? give it to your dog!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Whats the worse than dieing of cancer, dieing alone and having AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's more horrible than Twilight? Hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: What did the Jewish man say to the Muslim man? A: Hello, how are you today? Nice weather we're having, isn't it?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was six afraid of seven? He wasn't. that joke is just a way to convince you that seven is a scary number.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

-Knock, Knock -Who's there? -Granny -You don't sound like Granny... -Just let me in little boy. -MOM!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the girl tell her abusive boyfriend Girl: You broke my heart! Boyfriend: I'm gonna break your face.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Wheres my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's the difference a black person and a park bench? A park bench is a object and a black person is human.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

knock knock who's there? Madeline McCann really? no

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What do you get when you cross a grizzly bear and a dolphin? Well, the odds of these two animals mating are slim to none. Due to the undeniable fact that dolphins live in the ocean primarily in the warmer tropical waters and grizzly bears live on land in the pacific northwest where the water would be too cold for the dolphin anyway. The dolphin would be swimming around avoiding sharks and the bear would probably be eating a salmon. But if they did breed you would get a dolphinbear. Although a dolphinbear would have a very low chance of survival given it's part dolphin. Dolphins are pussies.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

whats pink, brown, and smells like a banana. monkey vomit?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's 1+1? 4.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Where's my tractor

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Q: What sound does a baby make when you put it in a blender? A: I don't know; I was too busy trying to find my camera.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

angelo snyder is not ga

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops