A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

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What do you call a highschooler who smokes weed, shops at the mall, and has date-raped one girl so far? Popular.

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My mother always said that jumping in piles of leaves was fun. That was before she died of pancreatic cancer.

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What do you get when you cross a Shake Weight with Parkinson's Disease? You get a sentence that doesn't explain the end of the joke and leaves you without any closure.

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Guess what? Chicken butt! No I have aids, you might want to get yourself tested

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What did the hispanic guy say after he took a bite out of a McDonald's hot n' spicy chicken sandwhich. I'm lovin' it.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the bottom of a pit? Whatever his parents named him.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

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Knock Knock Who's There Santa Santa Who? I stole your dog.

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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How do you spell Mississippi with out an i? You can't because removing an i from the word Mississippi would cause it to be spelled incorrectly.

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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Okay okay, its not like I wanted a serious answer anyway, bye!

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U know whats worser than having a worm in your apple... Having 1352 dislikes on your anti-joke...

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What's better than eating baby? Nothing.

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Knock Knock Who's There 42

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What battle did Napoleon die in? His last one.

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What did the man at the haberdashery say? Six and seven-eighths, bub, six and seven-eighths.

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A jewish man, a black man, and a redhead walk into an electronics store. Because they work there.

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How did sonic run at the speed of sound because he was fast

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what is the difference between a cow?? there is no difference, you can't make a comparison between different object when there is only one object beïng named.

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Suicide is never the answer. Unless you ask me what I contemplated after I found out that my family was killed in a horrific traffic accident.

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What did the tractor say when he lost his farmer? wheres my farmer?

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Why did the blonde get a good occupation? Because she had a great education in a private school.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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