How do you get to the store, if your car is broken down? Steal a blind girls bike, she can't ride it anyway!

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One time at band camp.............that's it........

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There was this cat, and he was walking down this long road, knowing a dog lived on 45 lake avenue. So the cat was very careful while walking by that house so the dog and his diqqas wouldnt chase the cat, named pat. So like a rogue in the arathi basen lodge, he made his way over the stone wall and ran as quickly as he could through the muddy path of dirt. This cat was also swagged out of control, so he had mad bitches. That is where Pat was heading....... to his mad bitches. He had never met these bitches, but bought them offline on a p0rn website that said he would become the man if he purchased the mad hot bitches. When he found the bitches, he shit himself. The bitches were female dogz. if you read this whole paragraph, a fraction of your soul has been ripped out of you. UMAD? ˜´??

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why was little jonny not playing in the baseball game? his legs were shattered in a terrible lawn mowing accident.

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What did my Grandmother get for Christmas? Alzheimer's.

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What made the lady dance? Bandz!

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GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT i farted. : l

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple. finding half of regis philbin in your apple...

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Yeah, I never intended to keep that a secret. What is autocast?

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Your mom is so stupid that she failed out of high school and now has two jobs to support her family.

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its snowing on mount fuji

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Q) What did the cowboy say to the astronaut? A) Howdy.

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Here is an opposite. Black Santa Claus.

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Why did bobby fall of the swing? He had no arms -Knock knock -Who's there? -Bobby -But how? -I knocked with my diick -Oh

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A Mexican walked away from a construction site.

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you

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You know what's gay?? Lesbians

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What do you call a man with no legs? A cripple

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Q. What did the father say to his son? A. Nothing, he just hit him with his belt. His wife tried to intervene, but she too was hit by said belt.

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Why did the teacher arrive late for class? Because his father had a stroke the night before, and they had to rush to the hospital and because of exhaustion, he missed the bus, and arrived ten minutes late.

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Woman are equal and deserve respect just kidding they should suck my ****

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Q: How do you shoot blue flames from your hands? A: You start to duck and lean forward quickly before you fully reach to duck as you punch as hard as you can, a blue flame should come out as Japanese bullshit automatically spews out of your mouth. It should not take more than a try or two...

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a dog

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Whats the difference between Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga? one of them is a women the other one is not.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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