My friend told me to jump right off a cliff That's impossible since this cliff goes left...

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what cuts the grass on christmas eve and lives in mexico? JP I lied about Mexico jackin it in san diego

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Why did the boy get nothing from Santa on Christmas? His parents died the night before!

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One day in school two kids had a conversation. Susan: What do you want to do when your older? Oliver: I want to go to the moon. Susan: Oh. I went there last week. Oliver: Can you smell something. Susan: Haven't you ever been to Pennsylvania.

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Why did the chicken kill himself To get to the other side.

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"Whats your favorite number?" "9." "Is it because thats your jersey number." "Thats my jersey number?"

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why did the chicken cross the road? becuase he needed to get to the other side and he was using a crosswalk

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a woman goes to an abortion clinic, kills a baby and still leaves pregnant.

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Hoverboards are still not available, and it's already October 21, 2015...

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A Muslim get's on a plain. He is heading to Spain, and has a lovely time.

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Why i Hate people. They are alive. The are breathing. The are near me.

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boo

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where did the black person go poop ? in the toilet!

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A random guy walks into your house and says hi. You say SHUTUP

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm sorry to say it but i hate you

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A Sodium atom walks into a bar. A Chlorine atom bumps into it, taking the electron, then making a bond. Suddenly, the police come in. They arrest the Chlorine atom, of course, but they also arrest the Sodium atom. He says, "what did I do?" The policemen say, "you're too ugly to be out in public."

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Why don't dinosaurs talk anymore? Because they're all dead, duh. :P

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The police, your father just died in a boat accident.

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Why was the man arrested? He had brutally stabbed 398 people in a 10 hour period.

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What did susan boyle say when she saw a 10 year old boy get hit by a bus? "OH MY GOD, SOMEBODY RING AN AMBULANCE"

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How do you solve a scatter plot? Give a pencil to Michael J. Fox.

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Why did the man hit the little boy? His brakes failed.

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What do you get a when you cross a chocolate bar and some haribo? A disease complex characterized by persistent hyperglycemia caused by insufficient insulin production or resistance to the metabolic action of insulin. Diabetes mellitus (DM) is generally classified as insulin-dependent (IDDM, type I), non-insulin-dependent (NIDDM, type II), or secondary diabetes mellitus

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What did the mail man say to the resident? I have your mail. Now let's f*ck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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