So there were these three guys on a plane, one with a ruptured hernia, one with a stomach infection and one with a raging case of gingivitis. Half way through the flight the pilot said, "unfortunately we will not it make to our destination... we are crashing." The three men then went to get the parachutes. they then say that there was only two. the man with the ruptured hernia picked one up and threw it out the door and pushed out the guy with the stomach infection. The guy with the raging case of gingivitis said, "why did you do that... we could have used that parachute!" the man with the ruptured hernia responded, "taco." and jumped out of the plane. the pilot then goes on the intercom and says," sorry. false alarm. we will not be crashing, please enjoy the rest of your flight."

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Why couldn't jack join the football team? Jack has down syndrome

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what does STFU stand for? the southern tenant farmers union.

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Why did the hispanic buy a pepsi? Because he was thirsty.

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Have you ever seen the episode of the powerpuff girls where they save the day?

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What would Abraham Lincoln do if he were alive today? Scream and scratch at the lid of his coffin.

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1,2 Freddy's Coming For You 3'4 Better Lock Your Doors 5'6 Grab Your Crucifix 7'8 Stay Up Late 9'10 Never Sleep Again Bonus 11'12 He's Gonna See You In Hell

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What did the blind man say to his best friend? All i see is darkness and i want to end my life

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Cheese on toast.

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What's smelly and Dirty? Someone who hasn't shower in a reasonably long time.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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you go up your hole down your hole between your hole and you rock and roll

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? "Robin, get in the Batmobile."

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A mother with a bum hip and her son go to walk up a set of stairs in the mall. The floor was slippery because the janitor just mopped the floor. They decide to take the elevator instead.

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why couldn't the old man play basketball? he lacked the physical dexterity, had asthma, and had no arms.

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A man goes to a doctor and says , "My arm hurts in 3 places." the doctor says, "Dont go to those places.

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How do you kill a retard You give em a kinfe and ask who's special

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How do you tell if your boyfriend is gay? He is having sex with men

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whats the difference between me and callum ? one soul.

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Chuck Norris Dies.

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If you are my friend like it!

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A middle-class family went away on vacation. While they were gone, a pyromaniac burnt down their house. Their cat was still inside.

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What did Shaq do when he first met Rondo? Play Basketball

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Why did the two children go sledding? Because they liked to sled.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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