Batman, Superman, Spiderman and Wonder Woman walk into a bar. The bartender decides to ruin the joke by saying nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER." The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how he had done it. "I knew it had to be the Microsoft Building, because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer."

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What happened to the guy who bought a nice, brand new, plasma screen t.v.? He hanged himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock Knock.. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Daves dead. This is Darrell.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what doesn't kill you makes you crippled for life because you lost use of your legs in a tragic car accident

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did 7 say to 6? I hear you've been spreading stories about me.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

my own dog bit my penis off, it was then put down. it was the worst day of my life.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the blonde throw her alarm clock out the window? Because it was broken.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What has two legs and is red all over? Half a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a registered sex offender.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the minority say to the white person? Aboobasashagaboogly. He was uneducated, along with the other minorities in the world.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

There were three people on a plane, the plane crashed and they all died.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

roses are red violets are blue holy sh*t slendermans behind you

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Wanna hear a riddle? Womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down -24

whats your budget like? a budget.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did Jimmy not go to school? Because Jimmy, along with his family, were killed in a horrible house fire. Knock Knock? Who's there? Not Jimmy...

thumb_up thumb_down

A neutron walked into a bar and asked "how much for a drink?" The bartender did not reply because a neutron is so small he didn't notice that it even entered.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the shark say to the boat captain? So do you prefer cards or pool?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A fat lady walks into a bar. Your probably wondering what she ordered. She ordered a ham burger.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Who ya gonna call? ... Whoever you need to talk to at the current time.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do Elephants and Grapes have in common? They are both purple, except the Elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops