Why did the chicken cross the road? He was standing next to you.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why was Rebecca Black beaten with a pole when she sang Friday? It was Saturday

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why couldn't the elephant ride a bike? Because he had no thumbs...

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's so great about twenty-three year olds? There's twenty of them.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's red and puts out fires? A fire truck? Oh, you've heard this joke before.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him? Because that would be assault, and not only assault but aggravated assault, since you are using a weapon to do it. Plus, the lawyer would have an advantage over you in court during the trial, due to having a law degree.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

727-8088-954 Call Me. Say your name is Nick whether or not your a guy or a girl.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Did y'all see Lafell catch that pass? Neither did I

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Did you hear about the guys who were going to France? Well they are not going anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you make a blonde happy? Do something that causes that person to release endorphins.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: How did the Irishman die? A: He was old.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

If at first you don't succeed, there's a very substantial probability that you failed.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the audience leave disappointed? Low budget and poor directing.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do u make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Two men walk into a bar, one ducks

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: What did the Rapist say to the Little girl before they got in to the Van? A: Get In the Van

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's the difference between a Satyr play and a Sedar meal? One is full of horned goat-men, the other is a feast that marks the beginning of Passover.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

How did the Jewish man play racquetball? With a racket and a birdie.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man sees Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles and tells his friends about the incident. They believe the story, because it is entirely plausible that it actually happened.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did one bulbasaur say to one squirtle? Well, first off, pokemon are virtual animals created solely for the enjoyment of entertaining japanese children and causing seizure episodes. This fictional creation then migrated to an american tv market, still maintaining their superficial existence while continuing to promote slavery and the use of round balls that capture your problems and propagate winning through random ball throwing. They are fake, and as they are fake, the bulbasaur said "we are fake"

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's worse than the holocaust? Two holocausts What's worse than two holocausts? Twilight

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Dear Rubix Cube, DONE!! Sincerely, Colorblind

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why was 9 afraid of 10 because 10 was a registered sex offender

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How much cocain did Charlie sheen do? Enough to kill 2 and a half men

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops