Q:What did the homeless guy say to the business man on the cell phone A: Nothing because he doesn't want to disturb his phone call

Roses are red, Violets are black, Why is your chest, as flat as your back

"Grandpa, How did you know that Grandma was the one?" "When her sister dumbed me."

so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

What is green, red, and goes 70 mph? A frog in a blender

What has one eye but cannot see? A brick with an eye drawn on it

Do you know what Chuck Norris does for a living? He's an actor, I also heard he's quite good with martial arts.

Who enforces the law strongly and forces people to obey them? Terrorists that have seized control of a town.

dassa

Why did the chicken cross the road? To save his soon to be butchered family.

Why did the girl fall off the fridge? She tripped on a rock.

What happens when three blind mice go our looking for food? They die because of the mouse traps the owners have because they are tired of loosing food to the mice.

A small black boy was walking down the street. He ran into a police officer and the police officer shot him, why? A: Because the officer was racist.

What did the kid with cancer get for his birthday? Nothing he didnt make it that far

Some really old band covered Dirty Bit. But the cut out the Dirty Bit part so its just the Time of life part

yolo your orange looks orange

What is Chris Benoit up to? Just hangin'

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

im at school

- How breakdance was invented? - A certain black man was trying to stole rims from moving car.

Due to the wildlife conservation program prevalent in the neighborhood, the chicken was able to cross the road safely.

Whats the difference between two flies? Nothing, they're both flies.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart but your body rejected the transplant and you died.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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