S: How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? P: They can chuck wood.

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What did the lawyer say to a lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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Q: Why don't chicken breasts have nipples? A: because if you freeze them, they will pop the package.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge asked "Mum, why is my name Fridge?" to which she replied "Because you deserve to be in one."

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What happened to the boy who ate too much? He got type 2 diabetes

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Whats better than a panda? A panda with an ice cream cone.

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Why did the african man wear no clothes? Because he liked being naked.

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What's red and green and goes 500 mph? A frog in a blender.

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My grandpa died in the holocaust. How? He had gas.

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A black man walks into a bar. It turns out he is a notorious serial killer and he procedes to violently murder everyone in the bar.

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What does 2 + 2 equal? 4

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There was a brunette, a blonde and a red head, They were all great friends!

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GONNA

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Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: ...... Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: ...... Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: ...... Person 1 leaves because no one is answering the door

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How many Aumish farmhands does it take to operate a state of the art commercial laser-cutter? One,provided he has the relevant training and experience.

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people say thers saftey in numbers, try telling that to 6 million jews

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I used to be an adventurer like you. Then i took an arrow to the knee.

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Why shouldn't you download music? Various reasons.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

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2

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How many Republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I would think one would be sufficient, though political affiliation shouldn't have anything to do with the situation. Unless the lightbulb was residing in a specified meeting place for members of the Republican party. Also, if the building was a more public institution for gatherings, which could imply larger ceilings, then two might be needed, just for safety precautions.

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What' do you call a fart in a box? Your mom's puzsy

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A terrorist.

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Why did the girl cross the road ? Because i was following her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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