how much does a pirate pay for an earing? $2.50

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What's red and can't speak ? A strawberry

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I really don't like Holocaust jokes. My grandfather died in the Holocaust. He fell off of a guard tower.

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Why did the police officer arrest Maxwell? Because he's black.

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What is Kanye West's main goal in life? To crush the hopes and dreams of singing stars on national television, beginning with Taylor Swift.

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You: Mike and Steve were playing chess, who won? Them: Mike You: no, it was steve

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What is black and beats up white people? a cop you racist!

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What happens when you put a baby, a dog and a cat in the same bag They will all most likely suffocate if left in the bag too long

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Why don't chickens where pants? Cause they're animals,duh.

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Why did the black man not tip his waiter? Because she provided terrible service and was undeserving.

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i hate anti-jokes ;)

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What did the zombie say to the woman? I like turtles.

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What do you get when you put two landsharks together? Three landsharks.

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What did the blonde say to the chicken? mmm, delicious

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what did the single guy with no arms get for christmas? porn.

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Im Tom and I'm an alcoholic...

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whats brown, lying in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs? a girl scout that got hit by a truck

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so if you need 20 dollars and you just kicked your cat how old is your mom. cake because you are a 666 member.

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What did the dealer say to the addict? Sup.

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How are a cow and a wall the same? They both go "moo". Except for the wall.

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A panda walks into a bar... Psht. Panda in a bar, that's impossible.

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why was the water bottle empty? because bob drank it. stupid bob...

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I was on Skype with a girl yesterday and she asked "Do you want to see something?" "No," I said "my mom's in the room and she might get a bad interpretation." "I really want you to see this." She said. " No, my mom's still in the room, she'll think I'm weird if you turn out the lights." "Darn I really wanted to see your glow in the dark snuggie."

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There was once a Polish man who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat down to contemplate the situation, and after a few hours, he thought, "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am Polish and make fun of me." He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini." Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you Polish?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you Polish or not?" This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?" The shopkeeper replied, "My grandmother was Polish. I could tell by your accent."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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