What did Edward Cullen say to the hot girl? Since I am a vampire it is impossible for me to get an erection.

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Blake wilkeys hair style

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You can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends. But you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

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Yo momma so old that she has started to look into an affordable life insurance plan to ensure all her final expenses are taken care of.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. wow i missed the entire purpose of this.

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I'm going to live to be 300 years old or die trying!

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Why did jimmy fall of his bike? Because jimmy was a goldfish

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A girl's opinion is respected.

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Eight hours? Sigh, leave it to me then! We both know you are a sweetheart behind that thick skull of yours, I mean why would you ask if it bothers me then?

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Why wouldn't you want OJ Simpson babysitting your kids? Why? He's in jail and he wouldn't be available when you needed him

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Whats funnier then two babies falling off a cliff? 2 babies falling off a cliff

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John: Hey Bill, ORANGE you in the mood to go to a Phillies game? Bill: Yes! So let's make like a banana and raise our potassium levels drastically and leave right away to beat the rush hour traffic.

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This is SPARTA! SPARTA? THIS IS MADNESS! (kicks guy down well) What is hurt! Baby dont love me, dont love me, no more. Moral: The funny thing is probably that the line makes a lot more sense all of sudden does it not?

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Doctor! I have no problems at all! So, uh why are you here? Isnt that freaking weird? Wow, that might be a problem! Puh! I have a problem then. Yeah, goodbye!

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what did the dog say? dogs can't talk therefore he said nothing

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why did the puppy poop? he had too

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How do you fit 100 ethiopians in a phone box? With great difficulty.

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why do pedo's molest children? because it feels really good.

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Why was the family sad? Their house burnt down.

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A man named Hank, from Idaho takes a trip to Michigan. When he arrives, he rents a house and starts a meth lab. Hank is spending 7 years in jail. Hank was charged with stealing.

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Have you seen Hellen Keller's treehouse? No. It's quite nice, her father made it himself.

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They see me rolling' Up my sleeves for some volunteer work at the local shelter

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How many blond girls does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, it is a faily simple task

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An old lady walks into a bar. She was the janitor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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