What does a black person use to chop a tree down? An Ask.

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what did god say when we made his first black person oops i acidenlty burnt it

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How do you kill a down-syndrome kid? fire.

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how did the girl fall off the swing. BECAUSE SHE HAD NO ARMS HAHAHAH

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A dyslexic man walked into a bar. Even though he couldn't read the sign, it was still a bar.

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If life hands you lemons you're probably a hippy because you know someone named 'life'

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Why did Jimmy pass out Cause he drank a full tallboy

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Why cant jonny walk? He has no legs.

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They say those with anti-humour are the wisest.

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What's another name for asexual reproduction? Parthenogenesis.

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What do you call something you should prepare yourself for when having sex with a prostitute? A.I.D.S

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How do you drown a blond? Keep her head underwater until her lungs fill with water and her bodily functions stop working.

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A penguin walks into a bakery. The baker asks the penguin: What kind of bread would you like, brown or white? Penguins answers: Well, it doesn't really matter since I drove here.

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What do you call a three legged man? Horribly deformed

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So dont touch it

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Why is it bad to have 10 blond girls in a closet at the same time? The closet is a very compacted space and one of them is a claustrophobic.

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta pudding god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If a wood chuck could chuck wood, it would depend on whether it wanted to or not. If it did want to, it could potentially chuck an infinite amount of wood in its lifetime

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Why was the little Asian boy crying at the county fair? He had just watched his entire family get brutally crushed beneath the weight of the old ferris wheel as they went to get on. Never would he forget the painful screams of his mother as her blood splashed onto his white t-shirt. Never would he forget the police car ride to the foster home when it all sank in that they were truly gone. And never would he forget the abuse his new parents would inflict on him daily. But what would forever torment him most were those screams. Those persistent screams that woke him in the night until the day he died many, many years later.

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Why won't Santa be delivering presents this year? Because he can't be bothered.

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A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

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A German challenged an Englishman to a duel But their neigbours found out and alerted the police

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Why did the man fall off the cliff? I don't know, I have mental AIDS.

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what do you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientest? a mutant chicken

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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