What do you get for the man that has everything already? Another one.

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What's the difference between cat and a watermelon? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer. The other is a watermelon.

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"It smells like Up dog in here." "How do you know what the dog from the movie "Up" smells like? It's computer-animated and not real." "I...I think I have a brain tumor..."

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Womans profesional lacrosse

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What do you call 500,000 white guys jumping out of a plane? There's no such thing. 500,000 people can't fit onto one plane.

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What's funny and old? I really do'nt know

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Dave: Hey, Doug! How was your day? Doug: My mother is dead.

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What was so funny about my sister getting raped? Nothing, there's never anything funny about someone getting raped, especially when it is a close friend or family member

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knock knock Get off my porch I've already called the police.

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing? The chain broke.

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A mercenary was sent from the US to kill a terrorist leader. He was captured by the terrorists but wouldn't give away any information. They beat him, shocked him, cut him, and punched him in a dark room with a light beaming right down on him like a spotlight. It was a grueling five long days until they said "We know you have the information we want, tell us or you will die!" The mercenary sat in silence. They took out a gun and pointed it to his head. The mercenary then broke down and told the terrorists the information they wanted to hear. The terrorists then shot him to death.

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why did the boy fall down? he was shot

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"why did the chicken cross the road?" "to get to your house" "knock knock" "who's there?" "The chicken"

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What did the black father get his child for Christmas? A Yo-Yo. Actually, never-mind, he doesn't know his father.

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knock knock whos their? kevin kevin who? knock knock huh? queef

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Why did the child die? Natural causes.

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Boy: Hey, guess who likes you. Girl: Who? Boy: NOBODY!!!!!!!!

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name one thing that is impossible!! A sober irishman

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your mommas so fat because she has diabetes

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What did the plane say to the world Trade Center on 9/11? Nothing a plane is an object therefore cannot talk.

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how come the exorcist eat crème brülé? because that deserves a carlsburg

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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Q: How did the girl in high school become so popular? A: She got pregnant

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yo mamas so fat that when she wears a bathing suit people go "wow, that women is fat"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops