Why are black people so good at sports? They practice.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road... Because he got hurt last week while crossing the road.

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

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Q: Why was the boy so sad? A: His parents were just killed in a car wreck, therefore orphaning him and his five brothers and sisters and leaving them with no money, food, or shelter due to lack of steady income and the fact that their house had been foreclosed on.

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What do you get when you put a baby in a blender? A life sentence in prison.

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Why did the girls hair catch on fire her neighbor bullied her

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"One day this man walks out of his house to go to work. He sees this snail on his porch. So he picks it up and chucks it over his roof, into the back yard. Snail bounces off a rock, cracks its shell all to ****, and lands in the grass. Snail lies there dying. But it doesn't die. It eats some grass. Slowly heals. Grows a new shell. And after a while it can crawl again. One day the snail up and heads back to the front of the house. Finally, after a year, the little guy crawls back on the porch. Right then, the man walks out to go to work and sees this snail again. So he says to it, 'What the f uck's your problem?'" -Training Day

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A cat walks into a bar. She belongs to the owner, so he gives her a saucer of milk.

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"knock knock" "who's there?" "its your girlfriend, lets have sex"

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A black person dies.

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Why would Obama like to be ahead of some guy's poll and bent over at the same time? Because being ahead in someone's poll is encouraging news for his election campaign and bending over is part of the exercise program he uses to stay in shape.

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Why do black people have nightmares? Because we killed the only one with a dream.

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Q: What do you call someone who cant swim? A: A person that cant swim.

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Q: Why did your mom cross the street? A: Because she was so ugly that she fell off both sides of the bed

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Why did Napoleon cross his legs? Because he had to go to the bathroom

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knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant

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Q: What did Santa give the little boy for Christmas? A: Nothing, he's not real

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.......ah shit i forgotten the joke

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I have tuberculosis because Ebola is too mainstream.

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Obama Getting Re-Elected.

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GONNA

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A man walks into a bar. Because he's had a rough day, he asks the barender for a drink. Then another... Then another... (continued) The man walks out of the bar and goes to his car. He starts to drive back to his house. He wobbly makes turns and closes his eyes every 5 seconds or so. He also talks to his boss on his phone for the majority of the ride. Surprisingly enough, he makes it home safely and doesn't harm anyone else despite the large amount he had to drink. He stumbles into his apartment and goes up to his room. He slumps down onto his bed on his back very heavily, causing the room to shake a bit. He opens his eyes, only to find his glass shandelier falling from directly above his face. His body was found by his girlfriend the next morning. I guess there's no real moral to the story then... Maybe it's: You can drink and drive, but don't put a shandelier directly above your bed... I guess? Wow. What are the odds?

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what do you order when it's a sunday in nyc during a solar eclipse on a leap year past 12:00 pm? what ever you like

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Did you know there is a whole country occupied with twins? It's called China

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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