How does a pig go to the hospital? Through the front door.

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Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

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You can pick your nose and you can pick your friends but you can't wipe your friends on the couch.

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Why was Billy's grandma not around for Thanksgiving? Because she's dead

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Why do you stick a baby in a blender feet first? So you can see the expression on its face...

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what's the hardest part about microwaving a baby? holding the camera and masturbating

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Why did the mans nuts itch he had crabs

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What does a joke and an anti-joke have in common? Nothing, since "anti-" refers to the opposite of the word that it is modifying.

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Your biggest fan.

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Roses are black Violets are black I lost my eyesight at two years old and all I see is black.

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Why dont you greet your friend Jack on a plane? because you will say "hi Jack"

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Matters the size of the bathtub and the size of the babies.

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"You go, Glen Coco" -Mean Girls, 2004

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What do you call someone that has befriended a fisherman? Fishermans friend Moral: Strongest there is.

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How do you get a one-armed clown out of a tree? Hit it in the face with an axe.

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Why did osama bin laden cross the road? To commit suicide

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What do u call a man pointing a gun at you? A man with an anger issue

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Enough with the "whats worse than ... "jokes! They are getting old and have a millon different possible answers. I am aware that this is not a joke but thumbs up if you aggree with.

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What did Jesus say when he walked on water? I'm drowning

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What's the difference between jokes and anti-jokes? Anti-jokes aren't funny.

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There once was a man from Nantucket who secluded himself from the outside world because of a tragic event that happened to him as a child.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

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Why did elmo jump of the cliff caus he wa depresed

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What is small, slimy, and thrown in the garbage? A stillborn

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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