knock knock hold on im takin a poop!

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When is a door not a door? When it is a cup.

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nock nock " whos there" , "open the door and you will see

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what do you call a cow on a rollercoaster? a very dangerous and unlikely event

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Why did the boy fail the math test? He has a learning disability.

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Whats worse than dieing of Alhzymers? Anal Rape

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what's worse than a pile of dead babies? a pile of dead babies with a live one at the bottom eating its way out.

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Why was the woman arrested for trying to have sex with a miner? Because he was on the job and her advances were completely unwanted.

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what do you get when you combine an astronaut, a microwave and a bathtub? A suicide investigation

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Whats worse then a worm in your apple...... some of these jokes

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why couldn't jimmy play on the swings at recess.. Because he's been dead for 5 years

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how many jews does it take for me to be able to have sex with my cousin's girlfriend? idk, but that's how many I need. actually let me have some extras. couldn't hurt.

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Why was the blonde on the train tracks? Because she was tied up by a madman on crack.

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A bar walks into a man... Wait, that's impossible.

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knock knock? who's there Dave Come on in!!!!!

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? During the crossover episode of Blossom and Star Trek: Voyager. Six traveled ahead to the distant future and found herself on the aforementioned starship. Her situation was confusing and frightening, even more so when the half-female, half-Borg appeared before her.

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Whats more painful than falling onto a sharp stone? Suffering the loss of your mother and newborn brother in a tragic car accident on your birthday.

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A black man is going to get a vasectomy. He shows up to the doctor's office wearing a suit. The doctor says "Why are you wearing a suit?" The black man says "I just got back from a funeral"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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To mamas so fat shes fat

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How many British people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Two. One to screw in the lightbulb, and one to hold the flashlight because the room is probably dark.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? How the hell should I know? I'm not a chicken :/

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how come timmy didnt brush his teeth he didnt have a toothbrush

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Why is Easter better than christmas? Theres a significantly less chance of getting raped by a man in a Santa Claus costume.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops