What is green and sticky and oozes up a kid's upper lip? A homesick booger.

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whats red and brown and goes about 30mph? a squirrel in a blender.

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Why do the lesbians where pants? Because they are extremely comfourtable and the best for cold days

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Knock Knock Who's there? A kind hearted serial killer who will win your heart emotionally and then shoot you to death unexpectedly.

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Whats worse than finding a repeated joke in anti-joke? The Holocaust.

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A sheep croses the road It gets hit by a car.

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What's worse than dying? Dying poor.

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why was the fat man excercizing? because he was a fatass and no one liked him

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I agree Detroit sux. But the bulls suk too ya know

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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One night, a man dreams that he is a bird that can fly into outer space. The next day the man finds out that his son is a homosexual.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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I just painted my nails. I have braces.

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a horse walks into a bar. what does the bartender say? why is there a horse in my bar.

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What do Ethiopians do at Christmas ? Starve...

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- My grand mother died. - I'm sorry.... Did She died of old age ? - No, she got eaten by a giant worm.

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A fish walks into a bar Fish dont walk

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why did the black man apply for a job at kfc? His family was in debt after the loss of his father.

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Why did my ex-husband get fired from the m&m factory? He was throwing away all the W's.

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Person A: Is your refrigerator running? Person B: Yes Person A: Good! Now, your milk won't spoil.

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Knoc nock whos dere ronnie turiaf...... Ronnie turiaf who Dennis rodman

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What do you call a black man driving a nice luxury sedan? A man who has, surprisingly, done very well in this economy.

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why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

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Why was the black man very rich? Because he was a lawyer who worked hard and was able to provide himself with a steady income.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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