i just got all five seasons of big bang theory in the mail for xmas... i'm divorcing my wife.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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What is purple after you stroke it a lot? An eggplant

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Why do blondes where pigtails? Because they look nice.

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A Jew was walking home one night when two thugs leapt out of the darkness and demanded his money and other possessions at gunpoint. A reflection of how dangerous our streets can be at night.

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whats black with purple?nothing no animals or humans have anything like that

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How can you kill someone who looks like a squirrel? With an bomb. That would kill most people.

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Why is Jesus not real? Because Chuck Norris is still alive.

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Why is NO ONE on Facebook when I AM?! Because you have no friends... on Facebook... ... Wow.

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why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

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Why was the clown murdered? Because it laughed at my cousin so he ran right into the icicle 10 times to the heart

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Why did the boy fail his midterm? he didnt study.

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whats white? everything thats not black, yellow, pink, red, blue, orange, purple, green, indigo, turquiose, grey, brown, khaki, gols, silver, bronze.

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What did the girl call the boy? ugly. they hated eachother.

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Do you know whats funny to say to someone unless they're black. Your ma's in jail.

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There is a terrorist attack. Muslims are blamed for it.

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How do you make a girl scout cry? Steal her cookies

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cancer

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In Pokemon, why are bug types super effective against dark types? Because Ebola affected a lot in Africa.

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Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Realist: Find something better to do than talk about a glass.

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Boy: Is your body from McDonalds ? Girl: Aww is it because your lovin' it? Boy: No, it's because your greasy and fat!

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Did you hear the one about the kinky dominatrix? No. Damn. I really wanted the details.

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She had no arms.

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So a mouse walks into a bar....the bartender immediatly kills it because he doesn't want another C rating by the sanitation department.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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