Once upon a time there were seven dwarfs. They were named Steven, Jason, John, Peter and Alfred.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was the baby crying? Because a tree fell on its legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Justin Becnel falls off a tree, what happens? He breaks his neck and unfortunately dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Your mother smells so bad that people make comments about it behind her back, and one person mailed her some soap.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A bear walks into a bar. The bear is then shot by the bartender with the shotgun kept under the counter.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you get a black guy out of a tree? You don't, he just jumps down.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's worse than tripping over your shoelace? Watching your mother get her tits cut off with a chainsaw then getting ripped apart and eaten alive by cannibals

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is a dog's favorite color? Dogs are colorblind and can not see colors.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

If you have 24 hours to live what would u choose to do? I would choose to take stander ised testing b/c it feels like it's forever.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Two guys walk into a bar, a spanish guy and a black guy. They get some drinks, call a taxi to arrive home safe. And kiss their wives and kids goodnight. They go to bed early after reading a wallstreet journal. And wake up early so they can both go to their jobs as college professors. To white kids.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call two spaniards talking in French. Bilingual.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: Why do geese fly in a V? A: It's more aerodynamic.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why was Osama Bin Laden so hard to find? His hiding place was difficult to come across.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Thanks superman! Oh this is just what a regular Clark Kent would do... Uh... I mean... Dont worry Superman I know you arent Clark Kent, I just wonder why you work for him all day... Moral: What? What moral? What what?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What is the punchline of this joke? There isn't one.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How many pastry chefs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. It's a fairly simple job.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What is the difference between john madsen and a gay person. There isn't because john is gay

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you sleep? With a knife I just saved a lot of money by switching to Geico......with a knife I'm going to the restroom, with a knife. How do you do a back flip with no hands? With a knife. What is 2 plus 2? The answer is 4, with a knife. Would like you like to go see a movie with me...with a knife? Today, I'm going to show you how bake a strawberry chocolate cake...with knife. I'm sorry, you have the wrong number...with a knife. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side....with a knife. A man walks to a bar and orders a shot of vodka....with a knife. Omg, I just saw Miley Cyrus at the mall today....with a knife. In Soviet Russia, blah blah blah, with a knife. How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? 1, with a knife. I'll be back in time for dinner, I'm going to the gym and work on my abs....with a knife.

thumb_up thumb_down +123

Did you hear about the guy with five penises? Me neither, because that sounds like a very improbable aberration.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What was the first thing that went through the mind of the first 9/11 jumper? Thank god I only jumped from the first floor.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why couldn't the woman drive? She was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock Knock Who's There Nobody Nobody Who?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops