Who would be an amazing GOP VP? Chris Christie -Mitt Romney

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: Imagine you are driving a boat, but the wheel falls off. So how many pancakes can you fit in that box? A: None, because the oranges couldn't talk!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why couldn't Helen Keller see or hear? She was blind and deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Once upon a time there was a cat named Martin. He died.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

why were there moans coming from the sandusky household Mike sandusky, was having sex with his beutiful wife, maria meanwhile Mike's cousin, jerry was sitting in a jail cell

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Chuck Norris isn't afraid of the dark. Because he's a grown man, and most grown men aren't afraid of the dark.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Adam Thomas is homosexual

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what did the black man eat for dinner? whatever his wife makes for him to eat

thumb_up thumb_down +13

two flowers in a meddow recently bloomed a cow came over and ate them, and the cow died of herpes the next day

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Two Mexicans are at the border and want to cross it. How do they cross it? Illegally

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple?  Getting raped by a 10 foot scorpion.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the doctor not make it to his appointment in time? Because he died in 9/11!

thumb_up thumb_down -28

roses are red violets are blue no seriously they are

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did Frieza say to Vegeta after killing his parents? "I killed your parents."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A duck walks into a bar, the bartender says what do you want? the duck says nothing cause ducks can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Smart Blondes

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did the white girl become a lesbian? Because she was raped and had no more trust in the male gender.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A blonde girl walks into a hairdressers and asks for a slight trim. She leaves the hairdressers fairly happy with the result although she was unhappy with the price which she later concluded was most likely because of the rising inflation. However overall she felt it had been a successful outing.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A recently engaged couple are having sex. The man finishes in just under 3 minutes as usual. The woman then says "I love you" because they've been together for over 2 years and they care for each other very deeply.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

You know how to torture Hellen Keller? -No. Put a plunger in the toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

When the black man was driving his car, why did he stop in front of the gun store? Because his car's velocity reached zero at that location.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

What did God say to the snake when the Snake decided to ignore God and just give Eve the apples? Snake what are you doing? Answer me, SNAKE! SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE! *DUN DUN DURUDUN! DU DU DUN! *gunshot* Moral: I just hate thumbs ups, and the comments where I omit this receives those horrible green thumbs instead of them sexy red ones, so there goes.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A priest, rabbi, and mormon are arguing about which religion is best. A zookeeper hears and says, "I have a bear who is sleeping right now. How about whoever converts the bear belongs to the best religion?" The priest goes in first, and then walks out a few minutes later, unharmed. The mormon does the same, and he too exits unscathed. The rabbi goes in, and walks out covered in claw marks. "How'd it go?" Said the zookeeper. "Easy." Said the priest. "I just sprinkled some Holy water on him." "I did the same." Said the mormon. The rabbi looked at the zookeeper and said, "have you ever tried to circumcise a bear?"

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops