OH MY LUMPIN GOD!

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Why wasn't the Asian at work? Because the sweat shop was closed on Sundays...

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What did the boyfriend give his girlfriend for her birthday? A S.T.D

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Why did the lights turn off? Because I turned them off.

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Guess what I saw... Wood, I'm a carpenter.

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Roses are gray, violets are blue; I'm red-green colorblind so I occasionally have difficulty seeing most shades of red or green.

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What happened when the blind man was running toward a cliff. He stopped before he fell.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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Ey hornboy give es a SCAB

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what has two eyes and a face? the 5 year old who got raped on his way back home last night.

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A man walked into a bar and asked if he could use the toilet The bartender told him that it was for paying customers only The man walked up to the bartender, ordered a drink and then proceeded to go to the toilet He came back feeling refreshed, finished his drink and said his goodbyes

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Why did children rejoice when Michael Jackson died? Because they were at a birthday party, and only heard about his death afterward.

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what the **** is wrong with kieran scotts forhead!

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What do you get when you eat all potatoes Their all gone

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How do you annoy Lady Gaga? Stab her with a knife.

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Why did Visellet stop eating cherries? Because she choked on a pit and died.

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What has 156 bras and 927 pairs of underwear? Someone without a washing machine.

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what do you call and man that has a twitch every time someone say tissue broken arm, leg, hand, collar bone and there iphone? A mentally and physically demented man that needs serious help from a psychotherapist otherwise matter would get increasingly worse

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Why did Obama give a speech? Because he is the president and people look up to him

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why did the blonde get caught shop lifting? she wasnt a very good theif

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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knock knock who's there who who who and if u sat something about an owl I'll kick u in the face u fat cike

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i have to pee out my ass.

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Johnny tried talking to his dog, there was no response.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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