Why did Suzy drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Suzy!

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Scenario: A man is being mugged in an alley Mugger: Give me your wallet! I have a gun! Victim: You don't have the balls. Mugger: Oh yeah! I have 3 balls! Victim: Well I have 2, you should probably get that checked.

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Why was the kid picking his nose. Because someone shoved a bomb in it.

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Knock Knock The homeowner's acquaintance had called him just minutes prior because he had forgotten something at his house. With this having occurred, the homeowner had a strong sense of who was at the door. Being a cautious person however, he checked his prediction by examining the man through the door's peephole. Having asserted that it was what he had in mind, the homeowner opened the door and handed him some papers that were of importance to the acquaintance.

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BTMG JOAN!"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TOP OF THE MORNING FREE MEAT NO SANTA THIS YEAR BONE FOUNDATIONS MOUNTNORRIS WHY IS THAT BAG MOVING?????????? MR MO MOLESTOR SHIT STAINS VEGETABLE GUN OPERATION SBB OPERATION SBB (THE AFTERMATH) #SL #NSL TIN SCHACK SKI LIFT MILK STAINS NATHAN: 5 - SEATS: 0 GREEK LETTER STU THE SO

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What do you call a blond harvesting penuts a penut farmer.

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Why did the todler fall over? He's an iraqi child and has ben shot inboth legs being readied fro public excution for fighting on the opposing side a.w. j.p.

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Chuck Norris didn't rape yo mama, yo mama raped chuck norris!

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How do you wake up your grandmother........ You don't, she had a massive heart attack and died in her sleep

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Roses aren't blue Violets aren't red She was my ex wife But now she's just dead.

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Knock knock, "Whos there" a business man who wants to sell you things that you don't need "Oh, go away"

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My neighour knocked on my door at 2.30am last night, can u believe it? 2.30am? How rude I thought. Luckily I was still up, playing drums.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -To. - To Who? -To whom.

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When is a car not a car? When it's scrapped and turned into license plates.

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What's it called when One Direction wins a Grammy Award? It's never going to happen; so why give it a name?

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so you're waling through the desert and a tire falls off your canoe. How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse?

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Why is Tommy dead? Because he died.

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Me: Hey mom Mom: Hey Son Me: Whats? for dinner? Mom: I dont know

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What do you call a Mexican worked with a sweaty singlet? A Wetback

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Yo momma's so fat that when she went to Seaworld and a whale saw her, looked away, and continued on with its daily life.

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Nice legs....What time do they open?

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What would you do if the house you're sitting in now exploded? Nothing really, you would have died a horrible death.

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Why can't Tommy the T-Rex clap? Because dinosaurs have been extinct for 65 Million years.

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Why do women like NASCAR? They don't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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