What's the same between grapes and squirrels? They're both purple, except for the squirrel.

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What does a gay horse eat? HEEEEEEYYYYYY!

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How do you make a dog say meow? Freeze it and put it through a woodchipper. (MEROWRRRR)

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Why is it so hard to find slim fitting clothes in America? Because not many clothing stores carry them.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Whatever their names happen to be.

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What's the difference between my girlfriend and a dead baby? I don't make out with my girlfriend after sex.

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your mumma so fat when she stepped on the scales it said her phone number

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Q: Whats horny and likes your leg? A: My dog.

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What does it mean if your born on opposite day? you have sids

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How come Asian's are so clever? Their baby food is blended textbook paste.

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how do you keep an idiot in suspense. I dont' know he still hasn't told me

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today i wanted to write a joke...... a joke

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Whats small, rough, and painful to put in your ass? Sandpaper

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what happened to Timmy when he fell off his bike? CANCER.

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A: Ask me if I'm a tree. B: Are you a tree? A: psh, no! *gives offended look and walks away*

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Why did the black man skip every other step on the stairs? Because he had long legs and it was faster.

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How do you catch an elephant? Dig a nice deep hole in the ground, and fill it with ashes. Next, line the outside of the hole with peas. When the elephant comes to take a pea, kick it in the ash hole.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? The IRS.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Wherever you left it

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a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar... they sit down, have a deep and meaningful conversation about theism, and don't really drink anything.

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What did the kid say when he fell of a cliff and met Tom jones? Hi

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Twelve muffins were baking in an oven. One muffin said "Where are we?" Another muffin said "Yikes! A talking muffin!"

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So I was banging this French chick the other day and I couldn't understand what she was saying Turns out I raped her.

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Why are Asian people bad drivers? Coincidental cases of blurred vision.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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