Why was the baseball player arrested after stealing a base? Because he pulled out a knife and stabbed the shortstop in the chest.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? An astronaut. He's all alone in the vacuum of space. No one hears him knocking.

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot

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What do you call a fat computer? Adele :)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? As this question does not provide neccesary information, a plausible answer cannot be found.

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What do you call a black man on the moon?? Never going to happen

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A whale walks into a bar, everyone says Hey, Ashely!

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there's a new drink out called the Bin Laden... it consists of two shots and a splash of water

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If you have me you want to share me, if you share me you no longer have me. What am I? (a secrect)

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Why didn't susie use the jump rope She had no arms, replied carl No, susie doesn't like using jump ropes replies the mother

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Q: What do you call an American who has both Irish and Italian ancestry? A: An American.

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a jew, a gay, and an irishman walk int a bar at different times during the span of 5 hours.

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Why am I writing this? Cuz I am eating babies alive right now!

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2 guys walk into a bar the third one ducked

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did you know towels can cause dry skin?

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What's the quickest way to a person's heart? A knife

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What do you call a joke with no punchline?

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What do a reindeer and a grape have in common? They are both purple, except for the reindeer.

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Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Plenty of things but you already knew that.

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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? usually one new yorker.

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Two straight men walk into a gay bar. They quickly realize their mistake and cross the street to the tavern where they enjoy a beer and some pretzels.

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go camping, and pitch their tent under the stars. During the night, Holmes wakes his companion and says: 'Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you deduce.' Watson says: 'Someboby stole our tent.' Holmes and Watson look at each other, shrug and go back to sleep. At least the thief kept their blankets.

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When's the best time to go to the dentist? When you have an appointment.

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What did they farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops