What did the one eyed boy say at the movie theater? 3D was a boy choice

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Roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, violets are blue, get out of the garden it's time for lunch.

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Why are black people afraid of white people? They aren't

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i put the STD in S.T.u.D all i need is U!!! F_CK all i need is U!!!!!!! o.0 lolzzz

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What did the girl say to the guy who poked her on Facebook? You poked me.

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What's brown and sits in the woods? Winnie's poo

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People made fun of a plant for walking into a bar. Little did they know it hadn't been watered for days.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupter. Interrupter who? Interrupter Jones.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, There are so many different endings to this, it makes me just wanna Shoot Myself!

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What did the cat say when it was hungry? Meow.

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Sosiopath vs How I met your mother: BABABABABA BABABA RARARA LALALA ETC YOU GOT THE DRILL Kids, this is how I met your mother. I saw her at some store, I said "Hey sexy" She told me to fuck off, so I raped her, got out of prison years later, and kids, that is how I met your mother. ...Why I am leaving? Did I ever fucking say I was your father? I Just came here to tell you I raped and killed her after serving my time which was about 2 minutes, so kids, that is how I killed your mother. YOU ARE WELCOME BY THE WAY!Ungrateful kids. Moral of the story: If they are your kids, just say no and get away, and kill Robin for better television. Sociopath vs Grounded for life Moral: Shot the little kid, nobody will notice, not even his own family.Heck if you look at episode 34 you can see a tall handsome dude choking the life of a little boy in the background, and then letting him go just before he passes out and chokes him again? FUN FOR HOURS!

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Blue fish occasionally consume large amopunts of the insides of oak trees.

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Question: why did the pilot crash the plane? Answer: because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Why did the little girl drop her ice cream cone? She got hit by a bus.

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How do you keep a black man from robbing your house? Lock your doors, or perhaps get a update-to-date security system.

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Why do women fake orgasms? Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.

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A man jumped off a 30 story building. What did he learn? Nothing. He died instatly when he hit the ground.

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How many dead babies can fit in the trunk of my car? Seven.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was being dragged by a truck

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Why did the pig fly cuz his wife is a bitch

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what did the horse say to the bartender? why the short face?

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a white guy walks into a bar luckily he is not an alcoholic and knows when to safely stop drinking and already gave his keys to a friend.

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What starts with F and ends with UCK? FUCK

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69

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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