How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Knock knock whos there? Jake jake who? jake from state farm, and i'd like to tell you about our insurance company

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I dont often wash my hands in the bathroom but when i do its so people dont think im gross.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Paki? Nothing, they're both as bad as each other.

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Little kids wear superman underwear. Superman wears Chuck Norris underwear.

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What do you get when you cross a lawn mower and a rabbit? A dead rabbit...

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justin littleton being sucessful

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What did the Dad say when his daughter murdered everyone Tea you're grounded

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Dead girls can't say no.

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What's worse than having cancer? Two people having cancer

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A man walks into a bar, and promptly leaves because he left his kid in the car.

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What did the one stethoscope say to the other stethoscope? Nothing. Stethoscopes can't talk.

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A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I don't know what to do! One day I'm a wig wam, the other day I'm a teepee, then I'm a wigwam, then I'm a teepee again!" The doctor sighs and replies,"Sir, we've been over this. You have stage four periodic cancer."

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot for Arabian Air, idiot. What were you thinking?

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WOKE UP THIS MORNING AND SAW PROSTITUTE OUT THE WINDOW AND SAID GRANDMA GRANDMA CAN I GO PLAY WITH THAT PROSTITUTE SHE SAID NO YOU CAN PLAY WITH ME BECAUSE I'M A PROSTITUTE TOO

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What happened to Jillian when she walked out the door? She got hit by a bus A. Knock knock B. Whos there? A. Not Jillian

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what is worse than joel an infested asshole

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Roses are red Violets are silly Grease up your flaps Cause here comes my willy!

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What's a computer without Internet? A computer.

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dad said he had to drop the kids off at the pool what does that mean mom? honey it means dad has to take a shit beacuase shit looks like retarded black kids with down sydrome

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Kid One: "Hey, you! Do you know how to spell "I CUP'?" Kid Two: " Sure, F-A-G....G-O-T..." Kid One: ".........."

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Why didn't the dinosaur cross the road. Because roads were not invented then dumbass.

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A chicken walks into a bar and the bartender asks "What'll it be?" His friends are very concerned about his sanity.

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Is that a banana in your pocket, or do you just have an erection?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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