How do you stop your baby from crawling into your room? Shove a spear through its head.

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How did the man with no arm and no legs get to the store? Well he certainly didn't walk.

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Why did the black man actually receive an education. Because he is entitled to one as a citizen of the world. Frederick Douglass, at the twenty-third anniversary of the Emancipation Proclamation stated that "Education, the sheet anchor to a society where liberty and justice are secure, is a dangerous thing to society in the presence of injustices and oppressions...." Douglass knew that in order for black people in America to survive, they had to be educated because it was the one area that could make the weak person strong and the black person equal. By the time the modern day Civil Rights Movement started, its leaders already knew that education was knowledge, and that knowledge was power. In order for black people to gain their equality, they would have to have a solid foundation to stand on, and that foundation would be education.

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when push comes to shove, shove repeatedly explains to push that she needs to stop stealing his money and find a new place to live. Push then leaves, allowing shove to return back to his sofa and finish watching the basketball game.

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Why couldn't the boy see the pirate movie? He was blind.

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why did the Japanese boy drop his ice cream ? Because he was hit by a building.

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How do you make a baby cry? Break its legs.

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A scotsmen, an Irishman and an Englishman all walk into a bar. The publican had accidentally left the door unlocked and the bar was in fact closed. So they left.

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What is Osama Bin Laden's favorite food? I don't know, and to be completely honest I doubt you do either.

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Whats worse than finding a maggot in your apple? Getting Raped

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A blonde girl walks into a hairdressers and asks for a slight trim. She leaves the hairdressers fairly happy with the result although she was unhappy with the price which she later concluded was most likely because of the rising inflation. However overall she felt it had been a successful outing.

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper... used to clean up a crime scene.

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"You know what sucks?" "vaccuums?" "you know what meteforically sucks?" "Black holes?" "you what just isn't cool?" "Lava?"

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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Why did the woman call 911? Fire.

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How do you get a blonde's attention? Throw deodorant at her until she looks.

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whats worse than being mentally challenged? losing your arms and legs and finding out that you have cancer

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What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? Dance Dance Revolution

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How do you help someone stop drowning You take your foot off the back their head.

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did you know Helen Keller had a dog? neither did she.

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Q: What is Fftp poort grtz gruxxyw? A: DYSLEXIA!

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A man decided it was time to quit his job so he put his 2 weeks in and went to look for another job.

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What do a raven and a writing desk have in common? I have no idea.

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me:I will trade you 5 dollars for 10 dollars blond: Okay! me: ...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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