What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

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roses are red violets are blue im not good at poems so fuck you too.

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What do you call a group of black people? A group, you racist.

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? wanna go ride bikes?

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how are a ferrari and a pile of dead babies similar? neither are good to have in your garage when the police come.

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Bill is walking down the street when a girl who had a crush on him 20 years ago sees him, goes up to him, and says, "I think I know you, what is your name?". Bill says, "Timmy," and keeps walking because he is an asshole.

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What gets bigger and bigger and bigger, then dies? A baby.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to touch the goats beard

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Why is one side of a geese formation heading south always longer than the other? It has more geese

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What happens when you mix bath salts, marijiuana, and crack cocaine and proceed to inject it into your body in some manner? You have one of the biggest trips of your life in which it will ware off and you will proceed with your life

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knock knock who's there? be. be who? *hits you with a batterang. BECAUSE ITS BATMAN

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What's the difference between an Elephant and a Post Box? An Elephant is not a Post Box. It is an Elephant.

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What did Bush say to Obama was elected? I'm going to have you assassinated.

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Roses are red violets are blue shes for me not for u if by chance u talk my place ill grab my fist and smah your face

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What did the Polish man say to his doctor? "Witam, doktorze. By?em kaszel z ostatnich kilku tygodni i jest wysypka na moim lewym ramieniu. Czy jest co? co mo?na zrobi?, aby mi pomóc?" I don't know what it means, either.

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What was the difference between an Irishmen and a apple? Alot.

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A dyslexic walks into church and asks the priest. "Father is there a dog."

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Jake pulled out a gun and held it to his head, planning to fool his friends because he knew the gun was empty. Then his friend thought he was helping out his suicidal friend by stabbing him.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews undergo metabolism, maintain homeostasis, possess a capacity to grow, respond to stimuli, reproduce and, through natural selection, adapt to their environment in successive generations. More complex living organisms can communicate through various means.[1][5] A diverse array of living organisms (life forms) can be found in the biosphere on Earth, and the properties common to these organisms—plants, animals, fungi, protists, archaea, and bacteria—are a carbon- and water-based cellular form with complex organization and heritable genetic information. Pizza does not.

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whats red, white, and blue? idk go ask the president

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What did the boy born with cancer get for christmas? ... More cancer

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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One man calls emergency: - Come immediately, my little son has swallowed a condom! After five minutes, the same man calls back: - It is OK, I found another one.

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LeBron James hits a game winning three with time running out in the Finals.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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