There once was a man who had a penis that was so big, his girlfriend liked it a lot. A year later they got married and had kids, but then the man lost his accounting job and things went downhill.

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A successful, articulate, charming, well mannered, rich, young man walks into a bar.... Every night

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What is better than one wors roll - two wors rolls

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Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme Refrigerator

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Why did the little girl stop riding her bike? She was hit by a car.

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A chinese man walks into a kitten store. He is a nice man in search of a companion.

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What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

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A woman walked into a bar at least that is what she tells her friends about how she got a blackeye.

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Why was the walrus wearing braces? It wasn't, because it his highly unlikely that people would care about a walrus's dental issues. The walrus would most likely cope with his irregular teeth and move on with its life.

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Which came first, the chicken or the egg? The Big Bang. -BG_Shank_A

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Roses are red. Violets are beer. Kay eckelkamp is in charge here.

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Why can't Johnny run? He has no legs.

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A family walks into a talent agent's office. They do a cute family-friendly performance that they call "The Aristocrats."

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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An American, a Mexican, and a black guy all walked into the same bar. Why did the 'BEWARE OF METAL BAR' sign have to be in japanese?!

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roses are red, violets are blue, if ruddell was black, he would smell of poo.

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I dig, you dig, we dig, they dig, he digs, she digs, everybody digs. Guys, it's not a very profound poem, but it's deep.

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Chuck Norris doesnt need air to live, Air needs chuck Norris to live. Actaully that statment is a fallacy because it would be fatal to not breathe

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Why did the boat sink I shot a missile at it

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Womens rights.

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My Boyfriend

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a pile of shit. I don't have a pile of shit in my garage.

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A Blonde, Brunnette, and red head are on the beach. They find a sand gene and are each granted a wish. The Brunnette wishes for a yot. The Red Head wishes to never again get sun burn. The Blonde wishes for more sun. The world is overtaken and insinerated by the sun. An alien spaceship finds the Red head in a space suit floating around randomly when they ask how she survived she says "I don't sun burn"

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Q: What happens when Lisa drops an iPad? A: She plays Desperado on the sax.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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