how do you make a plumber cry? you hit him in the face

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Jeff has 45 candy bars. He eats 40. What does Jeff have? Diabeetus

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What did the blind and deaf kid get for christmas? Cancer.

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Your mother is so fat that occasionally she'll have more than one serving of preserves on her toast in the morning

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I took my blind grandmother to the art gallary

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Why couldnt the girl braid her hair? She had cancer

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What's Worse then an apple with a worm? The holocaust

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why was the teenage girl crying? She was molested as a child

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What's white, black and can't fit through a man hole? A nun with a spear in their head

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This is a little story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought that Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done

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Roses Are Potato, Violets Are Booze, Im Irish and i hate Jews.

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A duck flies into a bar. The bartender allows it to stay because it turns into a beautiful swan. The goose then lays a golden egg and the bartender stares in awe as a giant bean stalk grows out of the egg. He's ecstatic and really glad he let the flamingo stay with all the wonderful colors and magic going on.

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When life gives you melons, your dyslexic

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Where did the Smith family spend their weekend together? At the father's funeral.

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Rose is Red Violet Blew Mustard is in Clue … What about Moni-… ahhh my eye!

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What do u get when u mix a dinosaur and a lesbian? A-lick-alot-a-puss

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Whats worse than getting hit in the face with an axe? Getting hit in the face with two axes.

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A blind man walks into a bar. I mean a fence.

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Adam Chebali goes to war and is quickly killed. The rest of the world rejoices as he can no longer post anti-jokes only he thinks are funny and brag about himself on anti-joke.com.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a structure used to support sitting people, the other is a human being native to Mexico.

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot.

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Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

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Q. What did the woman use for vaginal medication? A. Standard Strength Vagisil.

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What's wrong with four black people in a cadillac driving off a cliff? The Cadillac holds 5

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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