Robert: wanna hear a joke? Robort:ok, shoot. Robert: *BANG!*

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was the elderly, Asian, blond pulled over by the officer? She was, and has been completely blind since birth.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I used to take arrows to the knee but then I didn't, for no particular reason.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the girl fruit say to the boy fruit when he wanted to marry her? "No."

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What's worse than getting a jigsaw puzzle for your birthday? Slavery

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

theres no 'I' in 'team' but theres an 'I' in 'hitler'

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whats worse than hearing a terrible trombone player? The screams of the maimed and dying.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

http://anti-joke.com/

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Person 1-How do you spell pulmonary embolism? Person 2-P-U-L-M-O-N-A-R-Y E-M-B-O-L-I-S-M. Person 1- Thanks. Person 2- Your Welcome.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

whats the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline? I take my shoes off to jump on the trampoline

thumb_up thumb_down -21

DANA

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems, nice tits

thumb_up thumb_down +42

A duck walks into a bar and the bartender asks "What'll you have?" and the duck says "Quack". The bartender is then promptly fired and committed to the nearest mental institution for thinking that ducks can talk and order beer.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

theres a fat guy

thumb_up thumb_down +36

eloise dey.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock knock Who's there? Batman Batman who? Because he was

thumb_up thumb_down +6

i am writing this because i felt like it.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

why were the little boy's clothes all wet? because they found his body in the bottom of a river.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do grass and cows have in common? They both say "moo" except for grass

thumb_up thumb_down +18

WTF THINKING: "If you are going trough hell go back to where the path to hell began just get the fuck out of there you stupid dumbass muddaf0cker" "If you feel life is pushing you five steps back for each one you go forward, just turn your fucking back to your goal and you will get there in no time" "Never ever ever ever ever give up" -Fucking inspiring when you just give up after a certain number of "evers" "IT IS BETTER TO REIGN IN HEAVEN THAN TO SERVE IN HEAVEN!" "I forgot the rest" Nero the ONLY moralman (Fuck Neronism and they copying my shit, I am the only psychopath animal theRAPIST in town! (Female animals only, you think I am a pervert or something? Be ashamed you perverted deviant!)

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's better than having a baby in your fridge? Almost anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Have you seen the newest starwars? What movie? I mean that episode where stars fight... Will Smith vs Keanu Reeves? I am talking about the stars in the sky firing at each other! You know, those star pilots on planes... Flown by Will Smith and Keanu Reeves? BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! (You heard that one in your head)

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Statistically speaking, one out if every seven dwarves are unhappy

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops