Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock? -Who's there? Not the girl.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the lebanese man kill his own family? He had cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

The king has three daughters. One day, one of the daughters comes into his room and asks, "Father, why is my name Rose?" King replies,"well, a rose petal fell on your head when you were a baby." The next day, the second daughter comes into his room and asks,"Father, why is my name Tulip?" the king replies,"A tulip fell on your head when you were a bay." On the next day, the final daughter comes in and says, "BLAJSFUAGHASRAKKKKKK." The king says,"Shut up, Cinderblock."

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Your mama's teeth are so yellow, she decided to invest in a teeth whitening procedure and begin a healthier dental hygiene regimen.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what did the pizza say to the bread? nothing pizza cant talk

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A family of black people get onto a plane. The son said to his father: "Why do planes have wings?" The father then replied by saying: "To help them fly son." The plane's wing then fell off due to a building error, then the plane crashed and everyone on board was killed.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What happened when the joke was bad? crippled up like cancer of the eye

thumb_up thumb_down -41

I hate it when I go running and my diick always gets road rash from being dragged So I cut it off

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you confuse a black man? Call him from a blocked number and I say "I love you"

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Guess what.. chicken butt

thumb_up thumb_down -27

what did Stephen Hawking say to the prositute? nothing, because he has a disability which renders him unable to speak

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How would you rule?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's funny? Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Gary.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Two women were sitting quietly.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

When life gives you lemons you mix them with vinegar to make a drink that will help your high blood pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call two mexicans playing basketball? A good example of friendly competition.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Hey you want to here a joke? I can't think of one

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's the best thing about the Pixies? Their music.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the little boy say to his cat? Masturbate on my moms corpse.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the German Constitutional Court issue Decision 2 BvR 1390/12 on September 12, 2012? Because they wanted to refuse the request for a temporary injunction in regards to the European Stability Mechanism!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Roses are red Violets are blue Flesh is green When the dead start to rise you're on my team

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man walks into a bar carrying a piece of asphalt under his arm. The bartender says, "We don't serve construction workers here."

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops