What is the difference between a snail and whale? A loaf of bread

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Two Mexicans are at the border and want to cross it. How do they cross it? Illegally

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What's worse than getting kicked by a horse? Drowning.

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What's 6 inches long, held in your hand, and has a round tip? A pencil you pervert.

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On the dora show when they asked where the Monster was why did the arrow point left instead of right?? Because it was scared

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what happened when a chicken laid an egg? it died

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What happens when you play a country song backwards? Gibberish.

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If a tree falls in the woods, how many animals lost their home to deforestation?

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Why did the black man get arrested? He sold cocaine.

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why is the earth mad at the moon? cause the moon mooned the earth

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Rosa Parks is going to be here if she gets to the bus on time!

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whats hairy and fat? I DONT KNOW YOU TELL ME RETARD

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What is big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? My d**k.

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Why did Suzy drop her ball? Because roughly 5 years ago she was part of a car crash violently tearing off both of her arms. Knock knock. Who's there. NOT SUZY!

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You have a birthday party and invite 5 celebrities: Britney spears, Lady Gaga, Hulk Hogan, Barack Obama, and Oprah. Meanwhile, there is a cow in a nearby pasture pooping.

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What do you call 20 Investment Bankers buried to their necks in sand? A team building exercise at the beach sponsored by an Investment Bank.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? *snicker* F*ck a duck.

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Why did Sally flunk math? Because she didn't achieve the passing grade which is 60 percent or greater. She might need some tutoring in order to master the concept of the lessons to which she has difficulty solving.

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What does a cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend? Procedes with his long difficult hunt to find another companion who accepts him for what he is, without the fear of being eaten.

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Why did the grandma stop baking cookies? Because she is an aging widow suffering from depression because her family seems to forget her existance as she barely lives day by day wilting in her 1 bedroom home.

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What do a mole and an eagle have in common? They both live underground apart from the eagle.

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Why was the black man in school detention? For sleeping in and showing up late accidently

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Roses are rde, violets are bule, I am dyslexic, how about you?

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How do you kill a fat guy Keep giving him food he'll die eventually.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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