Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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Two muffins were in an oven. One of them said, "It's sure hot in here!" The other muffin didn't respond because it's dead.

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Why didn't the oven turn on? Because nothing turned it on.

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Once upon a time, there was a man named John. John loved pancakes

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What did Tarzan say to the elephant?... "Hi elephant." A few weeks later, the elephant had grown a mustache and gotten a pair of sunglasses. What did Tarzan say to him then?... Nothing, he didn't recognize him.

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Why was the phone wearing glasses? It lost its contacts!

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How many light bulbs does it take to garner an unnecessarily large crowd of a single ethnic group of people working together to simultaneously replace said light bulbs and uphold their cultural stereotypes? What the hell's a light bulb? I'm a culturally illiterate Amish man.

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I like my women like I like my coffee... 2 cream 1 sugar.

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Why did the bus drop his icecream? He was hit by a boy

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Why was Brother Jim so loyal to god? Because he had a harpoon through his anal cavity.

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Hitler walks in to pizza pizza, the manager asks how many? L

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what do you call a bear on a unicycle? improbable.

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''Wanna hear a joke?'' ''Sure'' ''a joke''

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There once was a little girl called maddie who had a very earisponaceable daddy, she was taken from her bed and now she is dead and was raped by a Portuguese tranny

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Cos crossing the road usually doesn't work out too well for chickens.

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What do you call a bunch of black people buried up to their hair? Afro turf

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A Higgs Boson walks into a church. The priest says “We don’t allow Higgs Bosons in here.” The Higgs Boson replied, “Well, without me, you can’t have mass.”

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How tall is oprah.. 5'7

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Jokes are funny.

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What's purple and eats rocks? Scientists are still looking into this question.

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Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11. 9/11 who? Oh my god, I thought you said you'd never forget.

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You wanna know something that's totally out of this world? The moon

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what do you call cheese thats not yours? A: stolen cheese.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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