Which square is small and yellow? The small, yellow square.

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Why did the girl cry when her boyfriend brought up the topic about rape? Because she was raped by her father as a child and it was a suppressed memory.

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

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Q: What's full of different butts and smells bad? A: An ashtray.

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A terrorist robs a walrus.

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a little kid goes as candle for halloween, 69 girls blew him teenage boy goes as candle for halloween, all he got was burned

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knock knock Who's there? Me Me who? Me Doa Kong Oh, Hi! Come on in.

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what can't see and has four eyes? a blind kid born with four eyes

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Bob: Hey bro Jim: ... Bob: You're dead! Jim: Yep.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? It was hit by an oncoming motorist in a busy intersection.

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Yo momma's so fat she weighs more than the average woman of her age and height

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Why did the girl break her leg? Because I pushed down the staircase.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his head.

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Q. Why did Sally fall off the swing? A. Because she had no arms Q. What smells like red paint and is blue? A. Blue Paint Knock Knock? Who's There NOT SALLY

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But that just reinforces the negative stereotype that women don't have penises.

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Why was the women not in the kitchen? Because she was probably doing something else

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You played so good! No, I played well. Okay??

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What did the dog say to the tree? Bark.

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How do you make a teacher cry? Shit in their water bottle.

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In soviet Russia - some people were poor.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Thousands upon thousands upon thousands of dying infants.

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There are four worms walking in a straight line. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The fourth worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Some wild chickens have regular seasonal migration patterns that might require them to cross a road while traveling south. Wild chicken movements include those made in response to changes in food availability, habitat or weather.

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How do u tourcheer a fat kid? Make him chase a dounout

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops