Netflix and chill

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what is worse then stubbing your toe in the dark? -september 11th

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What do u call an anorexic with a yeast infection? -a quarter pounder with cheese. (not really anti-joke, im a girl and thought this was funny lol)

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What's worse than stepping on a Lego? Leukemia

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What do you call a white guy in a mostly black neighborhood? His name.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Well it's not going to happen so I don't see the point in giving this a name.

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what's worse than two dead babies? three dead babies.

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why did the teenaged girl cry? she was about to have an abortion

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roses are red, violates are blue, you left me for David, I am about to kill you *bam* *bam**bam*

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Little Timmy walks up to the teacher during class and asks "Can i use the restroom?" The teacher says "I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy says "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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Why did the middle age man walk across the street? There were no vehicles currently driving on that particular road

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what did the left foot say to the right foot? Nothing, feet don't talk

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A man runs over a woman with his car, whose fault was it? The woman's for trying to cross the street in the dark without a crosswalk.

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kieran is a homosexual

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knock knock? come in

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What's worse than sex with a midget? Non-consensual sex with a midget.

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How did the mexican get into the United States of America? Legally.

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Why couldn't the journal cross the street? Because there was a red light.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Chuck Noris

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What's funnier than 1 anti- joke? Two anti- jokes.

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S: How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? P: They can chuck wood.

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What did the lawyer say to a lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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Q: Why don't chicken breasts have nipples? A: because if you freeze them, they will pop the package.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge asked "Mum, why is my name Fridge?" to which she replied "Because you deserve to be in one."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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