Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Somebody pushed it.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what's red and smells like blue paint? im color blind

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Don't you hate it when someone starts a sentence and doesnt fi...

thumb_up thumb_down

What's big and black? A black fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the millionaire say to the hobo? Hi there.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

My friend asks me what my mom does for a living and i told him that she is a nurse. Then he says "That a good job because she is able to save lives". I quickly reply "She works in an abortion clinic".

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did sally fall off her swingset? Because she was hit with a refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

how do you tell a politician that you hate him? politicians can be female, too.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did Chuck Norris say when he stubbed his toe? "Oh shit I stubbed my toe."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

you know whats worse then losing your banjo? finding a spleen in it's place

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's worse than a worm in your apple? Thats a matter of opinion

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What's awesome and rides a unicycle? Rollercoasters. I lied about the unicycle.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Scott Gomez

thumb_up thumb_down -5

knock knock. Who's there? Jehovah's witness. *Door Locks*

thumb_up thumb_down +46

How do you get a clown to stop smiling? Hit him with an ax

thumb_up thumb_down +4

When an intellectual was told by someone, "Your beard is now coming in," he went to the rear entrance and waited for it. Another intellectual asked what he was doing. Once he heard the whole story, he said: "I'm not surprised that people say we lack common sense. How do you know that it's not coming in by the other gate?"

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Guy 1: Yo dawg Guy 2: DID yOU JUST FUCKING CALL ME A DOG>/?>/???? Guy 3: Yea

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did Chuck Norris say to the puppy? Aww what a cute dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

what did eminem say to dr.dre? nothing u idoits dr.dres dead he is locked in my basement

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call a burger made from children with Aspbergers? Cannibalism

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what did the ox say to his son when he left for collage? bison

thumb_up thumb_down +11

There was was 14 apples in a tree. And that's it.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops