A man walks in to a bar. He then walks in to a different bar, and later that evening he goes into a different third bar. That man is a bar critique.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Whats worse than a worm in your apple? -slavery

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What is the greatest anti-joke ever told? I had it right here, but I lost it when I was being raped by a Triceratops.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

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What's the difference between a tigar and a shark? One's a land mammal.

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Hey, have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Well, neither has he.

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What's the difference between a plumber and a husband? Both fuck the same women when the other is away.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For a legitimate reason

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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You will not press the like button.

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Why is ms Wolfe mean? Because she is a poop face

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Why were accents created? So when people go to Texas they come back sounding like a D-Bag.

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what do you call a mexican whos lost his car? nothing, nick ate him

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released at a nearby park.

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Q.sam is 18 years old, why can't she get her licence? A.because Sam is a lost dog on the street

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A raccoon walks into a bar. He then proceded to bite 3 people before animal control got him. A black man, hispanic man and an asian man. Later they all walked to the hospital and were treated for rabies, they were all fine as rabies is normally not fatal when caught early. Moral- this story is racist cause the white man was completely unharmed, DONT DISCRIMINATE!

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Hai Patrick Hai Patrick

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Women

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"Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar?" said the little girl. "I don't know", said the mother," we were robbed of all our money and posessions. And your father was killed while we were gone.

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A paper cut is a tree's last revenge.

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A man walks into a bar He's an alcoholic and it's ruining his family

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Whats worse than finding a bad anti-joke on this website? Dieing of Genital Warts

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Why was the comedian so funny? Because that's his job, and if he wasn't funny he would have to become a hobo.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops