For as long as i can remember, i've had memories

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Knock Knock Whose there? Ben Dover Come in

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Q: Whats metal and shiny? A: You're lame childhood accomplishments.

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What's the difference between Newt Gingrich's cat and a hand grenade? Gingrich's cat is a domesticated quadriped mammal, a hand grenade is a small bomb that can be thrown by hand

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Whats worse then hell? The guy who commited suicide would know.

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Q: How do all 5 gay guys walk? A: In One Direction

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How do you make a French-man cry? Kill his family.

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Sometimes I sit in the bath and pretend im a bubble

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A hurt animal that should promtly be taken to the RSPCA for surgery.

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Yo mama's like Darfur: Everyone feels bad for her, but nobody offers any substantial assistance.

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bees knees

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Q: Why was the little girl upset? A: Because she drank a window cleanser, causing her vital organs to shut down, ending in a slow, painful, death.

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Two olives are sitting on a counter, one falls off and the other one asks "Are you okay?" and he replies, "It is only a slight wound I think I will be just fine"

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3 black guys walk into a restaurant and they sat down, ate their meals, and even tipped the waitor handsomely then for about 10 minutes they talk and then leave restaurant. Soon after a white guy comes and holds up the place for all it's money then killing three hostages before being taken down by the police.

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Why did the african man wear no clothes? Because he liked being naked.

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Why does tundes food suck? Because he is from Africa and the cuisine is different

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Why don't you want to shout "Hi" to your friend Jack on an airplane? Because he's deaf and will not hear you.

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What happens when a plane with 2500 people on board crashes? There were only 165 seats.

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How do you stop the neighbors kids jumping your fence and stealing your lemons? Molest them.

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A classic (apologies if it's been posted before): A woman was riding the bus home after a day of shopping. Suddenly she jumped up, shouting "may aspirins! My aspirins!" The driver replied: "You probably left them on the counter at the drugstore."

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What do you call a person with no eyes, ears, or mouth? Helen Keller

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Why did the boy get stuck on the toilet? He was Elvis.

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One day... Jack: Good morning Ben: Good morning The End.

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your amazing just the way you are... even though you have aids.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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