What did the person say to the other person? "Hello."

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What is Wonder Woman's drug of choice? Heroine.

thumb_up thumb_down

what did the cashier do when a Mexican robbed the store? call the police

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the baby die? I killed it.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock Knock! Who's there? Ze Gestapo!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A white man walking dpwn the street finds a brief-case with a timer on it. A young muslim man says he dropped it. The white man then asked "What's the timer for"? The young man said, "Nothing really, just helps keep the time." They both went their separate ways.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Wanna hear a joke!? Miley Cyrus.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A man is driving down a back country road in an old beat up car going 30 mph when he notices a black horse and a white horse keeping pace with him. They keep up with him for a few miles before passing him and turning into a farm on the road. The man is quite impressed with the horses speed and follows them to the farmer and offers the farmer living there the horses in exchange for the car. The farmer says the horses are bad luck but accepts the trade, and the man walks off with the horses. The man then enters the horses in a big horse race and puts a lot of money on them. The horses immediately take the lead and are about to finish the race when the black horse trips and the white horse goes back to pick him up and end up losing. The man is furious and returns the horses to the farmer and gets his car back. The next day another man is driving in a nicer car down the same road going 50 mph when the black horse and the white horse run right past his car. Impressed with the horses speed the man trades his car to the farmer who warns him about the horses. Ignoring the farmer's warning the man enters the horses in a new race. The horses once again take the lead and are close to finishing first and second when the black horse trips and the white horse goes and picks him up again once again losing their lead. The man angrily returns the horses in exchange for his car. The next day a third man drives down the same road in a brand new sports car. While he's testing the limits of the car the horses catch up to him and run with him. Surprised by the speed of the horses the man speeds up in his car but the horses manage to keep up. The horses eventually run past the man and turn into their farm, and the man looks down and realizes that the horses had been running faster than 120 mph. The man goes to the farmer and offers his car in exchange for the horses. The farmer accepts but gives the man the same warning he gave the two men earlier. The new man just like the other two men ignores the warning and enters the horses into a race and bets a lot of money on them. This time the horse take the lead out of the gate but feet from the finish line the white horse trips and falls. The black horse seeing this goes back and helps him up once again losing the race. The man is disgusted and releases the horses into the city in hopes that they'll die out there. The two horses are wander into a bar, and the bartender looks at them and says: "hey you two why the long face?"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whats the difference between a quarter and a penny? 24 cents.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

what happens when you wake up inception

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How do you get rid of Herpes? You can't.

thumb_up thumb_down

If at first you don't succeed, go kill yourself

thumb_up thumb_down +13

6

thumb_up thumb_down -12

First joke of the most-disliked area; 9/11 joke. First joke of the most popular area; Holocaust joke. "You shouldn't joke about 9/11 you sick bastard people died" -Said all Americans ever.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: What's worse than a black guy with a gun? A: the holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -21

The man was so gay he grew breasts and got breast cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

My girlfriend is getting an abortion tonight. Its a surprise.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How many Jews can you fit in the car? 4 in the seats and 6 million in the ashtray.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's worse than breaking your leg and not being able to walk? Breaking your neck because you will most likely not be able to walk from the high probability of being paralyzed for the rest of your life.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Q: What has one eye but cannot see? A: A blind cyclops

thumb_up thumb_down +68

Knock knock Who's there? Your mom Oh hi mom

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did andy say when he went down on burger nips? Welcome to the jungle

thumb_up thumb_down +35

why did andy wake up this morning. because he wasnt tired anymore

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops