Q: Why did Hitler Kill himself? A: Because his wife couldn't match the pleasure of his massive Nazi Orgies

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What did the man dying of cancer want for his birthday? To live.

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who do we all like george goodburn

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Why does the girl continue to cry repetently everyday? Because she found out she was diagnosed with terminal cancer.

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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why did the doctor go to jail? he was found guilty of the murder and rape of a 6 year old boy.

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Whats red and black and has 8 legs? 4 dead african babies.

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what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

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How do you kill a dumb blonde? Stab them in the chest 43 times.

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How do you evolve a Pikachu into a Raichu? You use a Thunderstone.

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Why'd Sam run away Because charlie bit his finger

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Why did then plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Knock knock? Whose there? Who's. Who's who? No you used the wrong form of who's.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, I died because I didn't have a heart.

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think twice or at least think

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What's black and Has 8 legs? Gang Rape.

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What did the man give his wife for her anniversary? Nothing. The man is a raging alcoholic and forget her anniversary due to his high alcoholic intake during the past few weeks. Even if he did remember he most likely didn't care after seeing his wife cheat on him with another woman putting his marriage into shambles.

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How do you prevent a drowning..? A: You don't throw the black man in the portwater

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? one's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, the other is a lawyer

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My father stole my mothers heart, he's in jail for murder

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Whats red, and spins at fast speeds? A baby in a blender

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Hay is for horses and other hay consuming mammals.

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Why was the school girl called a dork. Because a whale penis is called a dork, and she identically resembles a giant aquatic dick.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? A stimulus in the environment to the receptors in his fingers caused his hand to open no longer gripping the ice cream. Due to this, the ice cream fell to the ground causing a desirable mess for someone to clean up, satisfying themselves with the fact that they have considered the environment during this small ''could happen to anybody'' situation. After the messed was cleaned up, the boy's mother bought him another ice cream, in which case the boy anticipated another potential mess, and held the ice cream carefully. As he did this, he managed to finish eating the whole of the ice cream, allowing no money that was paid for the product to go to waste.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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