69

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What is brown and sticky? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A 55-year-old white man's car is broken, so he decides to take a bus to work that morning. His bus arrives and he gets on. Then he notices the driver's a woman. He pays for his ticket, takes a seat by the window and in about an hour he gets to his office.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a big dick, Lets have sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Testicles.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb Wanna go ride bikes?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

roses are red, violets are blue, fudge is sweet, heres some fudge.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

I went to visit my friend last week (not a guy, guys as friends? Thats just gay, I mean you fuck all of your friends right?) And she was really happy and stuff right? I mean REALLY happy, and the poor thing was depressed for like 8-9 months or something. So I was like: ARE YOU HIGH RIGHT NOW? >:( She said: YEAH I AM HIGH ON LIFE! I looked down at the ground, it contained a full box full of syringes and needles! So I grabbed the whole thing and threw them out! So then I learned what Insulin was anyways. Ps: Depressed, pregnant... Not sure anymore, it was like two weeks ago or something.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the spoon say to the other spoon? Nothing, it is a spoon.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

They give psychiatric patients acting classes in order for them to express and as such heal themselves? Excuse me fucktard! A guy that has deluded himself into believing he is the 11.356th Napoleon does not require further acting classes!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Hi, my name is Mark and I have dead babies in my garage... Just kidding. My name ia not Mark.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did Justin Bieber bieber his bieber? Because Bieber biebers his bieber when his bieber need a bieber bieber. BIEBER

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Mary had a little lamb, the doctor fainted.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What did the car do? CRASH!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

equality for women

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Knock knock. ... ... *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

a naked man walks into a bar. he is promptly escorted out because you must have shoes and a shirt to be served

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Two men walk in to a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H20" The second man says "I'll have some H20, too." They both received glasses of water.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A:Knock Knock B:It's open

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A jew enters a mall.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A Jew walked into Germany. He never walked back out.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you do when life gives you lemons? You apparently are not a fan of lemons what so ever, so you then throw them away, not knowing what to expect.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops