Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the barber shop, which was located on the other side of the road. He then walked to the crosswalk, patiently waited, then crossed when the little person lit up.

A man goes into a bar. He leaves drunk and beats his wife to death and burns the house and kids.

Alice? Childhood Alice? I did not recognize you! Its so nice to hear from you again! I would not worry too much about Nero`s shouting at night dear friend, while he has overcome a lot, he suffers from nightmares and nightterrors, its not pain, not physical at least, please do not tell him I told you, he prefers sparing people the details. Should I type as If I am typing to Nero? Sorry, I am just a bit flustered, Nero has never been the romantic type, not towards me at least... I know the "official chatting hours are over, but can I ask you or rather him to stay on a bit longer?"

Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. One of its legs is both the same

Why is Kony so mean? He used to date your mom.

Q:what has legs but may never walk? A: a table

rent a cops

A man walks into a bar. It was a metal bar. He cracked his skull and died in the hospital shorty afterward.

- Why Mexicans have small steering wheels in their cars? - Because of this they are able to drive a car in handcuffs.

what's bloody and sweet? A squashed mosquito sprinkled with sugar.

Please don't shoot me

I'd really wanted to design a car, and then craft some sort of prototype dream car and concepts but sadly, I can't even draw a straight line.

Three guys walk in to a bar. One got a concussion.

a man walks in to a bar he says "what can i get for a free beer" the bartender says "okay but first you have to make my donkey laugh" so he goes in there and makes it laugh and gets a free beer ant then the next day he goes in and says "what can i get for a free beer" the bartender says "okay but first you have to make my donkey cry" so he goes in there and makes the horse cry and the bartender says " i will give you a free beer but first tell me what you did to make my donkey laugh and cry" the man says " first to make the donkey laugh i told the donkey i had a bigger penis than him then to make him cry i showed him

Yo mama's so fat that when she stepped on a scale, she saw her ex-boyfrien's phone number!

What do you call a man with no legs, and one arm? Whatever his name happens to be.

Teacher: Billy what do you want to be when you grow up? Billy: A fireman! Teacher: Tommy what do you want to be when you grow up? Tommy: 9/11

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a convicted serial killer.

4 black people in a car drive of a cliff. the sad thing is there was a extra seat.

What is blue and feels like fluff? Blue fluff

Whats green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A golf course

Roses are gray Violets are gray I'm colorblind.

Friends are like trees, if you deprive them from water they'll die.

How did the mexicans get to the United States of America? By plane.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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