Why did the Jewish man kill his wife? Who cares.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Whats the difference between a baby and my freezer? I don't stick my meat in the freezer!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A Chinese man and an american lived together. The Chinese man said to the american man, "I'm going to walk the dog." The American said "OK." Later that night they were eating dinner. The American said to the Chinese man, "I don't think that I've had this meat before. What is it?" The Chinese man replied, "The dog." The American, surprised, spewed out the food he was eating. "THE DOG!?" he yelled, shocked. The Chinese man replied, "Yes, I TOLD you I was going to wok the dog!"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that : L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Do you like fish sticks? Yes. Me too.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

whats worse than 8 babies nailed to a tree? nothing but oca mom is going to be pissed that her kids are nailed to a tree

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of trousers? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What is square and grey? A grey square.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

did you know helen keller had a dog? neither did she....

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call a man who shoots someone? A very bad person.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? they have different colored hair

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Chuck Norris once round-house kicked someone so hard that he broke his leg.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Not a blind guy.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

There were two muffins in an oven. They were forgotten about by the baker so they cried, caught fire, burned to death, and formed a medium-sized pile of ashes.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What Did Gretel say to Hansel? Stop having sex with Ariana Grande!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What happens when you bite the head off of two animal crackers and make them play leap frog? Nothing. Quit playing with your food.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do Justin Bieber and corn have in common? They are both fruits. Except for the corn.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Yo mamma is SO fat, she is classified as fat.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How does a blonde restart her computer? Seriously, you guys, I need help. I'm not a very technological person.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen. You are going to go to jail.

thumb_up thumb_down +108

What did michael jackson say to the boys he touched? Nothing. Hes dead

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you kill a shark blindfolded? You untie the blindfold.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What do you call a black man who works in a ice-cream truck? A Ice-Creem Man

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops