You might be a Redneck...if your job requires you to work long hours out in the sun and you do not take advantage of sunscreen.

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A man used a ruler to measure his foot, it was size 11

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a man checks his mypsace

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Why can't woman be cokcy? Because that don't have one (Sorry for the sexist joke, to who it may concern)

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Knock knock Who's there This is the police, open the door. I don't know anybody by that name

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What did the cat say when it jumped into the cardboard box? Meow

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how do you keep a black kid from jumping on the bed? pick up a parenting book ask him nicely try a time out not care because he's a kid and hes supposed to jump on beds?

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Ya know what's funny? A joke well-told by a professional comedian.

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How many men do you have to have sex with to show that you're gay? But, I'm a woman!

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Why is Dominic's nick name big D? Because the first letter in his name is D.

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Why was the woman convicted or arson? She set her house on fire. Why did she set her house on fire? Her husband was beating her.

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How do you put a bananna in a mini-van? Walk up to the mini-van and stick it in the backseat.

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What kind of cheese is not you cheese? Not your cheese.

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Whats worse than not coming up with an original anti joke? Nothing.

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What's the difference between your garage and mine? A pile of dead babies.

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Two olives are sitting on a table. One loses his balance and rolls off. The other calls down to it, "Oh my gosh, are you okay?" And the olive yells up, "No. I just rolled off a friggin table."

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A blind child sign is at the end of my street. I have never seen the child, but at least if he were to come outside at the right time period i might be able to spot him, whereas he would having no way of returning the gesture.

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What is worse than getting shot in the leg? Getting shot in the head.

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Roses are red. My name is dave. This poem makes no sense. Microwave.

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Why was John the octopus depressed? Because his real name was Steve, and he couldn't communicate this to anyone since he lacked the higher brain functions and vocal chords required to do so.

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Why is your dad gay? Because he takes an enjoyment in a mans dick

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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IF YOU ARE A GUY: Think about a really hot girl. She has the perfect chest, amazing face, blonde hair, and looks flat out stunning. She takes off her shirt which is very appealing and causes for you to get excited because you might get lucky. She takes off her pants, or skirt depending on the choice that you decided upon when imagining this girl, and is walking towards you in nothing but a bra and panties. She continues to take off her bra and gets on top of you. You passionately kiss and afterwords she whispers in your ear, "are you ready for some of this?" you nod your head and she proceeds to remove her panties. Let's freeze this situation for a moment. Assuming that you would ever be in a situation like that there has to be a catch right? A hidden camera, her husband comes home, a rabbid zombie crashes through the door...something. I am happy to tell you that there are no worries about this because nothing will stop you from making sweet and beautiful love to this woman. So let's get back to the scenario. You not your head and quickly tear off your clothes and begin exploring her body. Now turn her 64 and give her a penis with an amazing amount of pubic hair, make her fat, and submit to this manlady. You ask how this happened? Earlier that evening you took a particularly large amound of LSD, or acid if you prefer, and began tripping out. You began seeing ugly people as hot people, and hot people as ugly people. Your friends were concerned because you were hitting on a tree and started humping it at which you were removed from the party by your date who just so happened to be a fat and ugly hermaphrodite who repeatedly raped you and made you cry in submition to her kinky tactics. Drugs are bad, but they make for interesting stories for your friends to tell their children when they get older at your expense.

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whats worse than one week in school? two weeks in school. whats worse than two weeks in school? three weeks in school whats worse than three weeks in school? child abuse, killing animals and murder

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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