What do you get when you mix a burrito and an earthworm? Diaherea

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Robin, get in the car.

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Where did little Annie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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y momma so fat that she's heavy

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Hey, austin, what are you doing?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This doesnt rhyme, Microwave.

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Why cant Sally ride her bike? Because she has ceribal pausly

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Why did the man talk to the potato? Because hes stupid.

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Two friends are arguing over who is the best pie maker. '' I've made pumpkin, apple, peach, cherry, blueberry, and sweet potato!" " Yeah well I've made all of those AND pecan!'' ''Yeah well have you ever made boysenberry pie?!" "No! What the hell!" *in a calm tone* " Yeah, me neither."

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Q. How do you break into a store that's closed? A. You walk in, I was lying about it being closed.

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If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Depends. Some are vegetarians or vegans, while most eat a mixture of vegetables and meat.

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What's the difference between vanilla ice cream and vanilla ice cream with chocolate chips? Neither one has vanilla ice cream in it except for both of them.

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Robert Mugabe.

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In soviet russia...the abundance of natural oils and rich agricultural land provide it with a thriving economy

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There were two chippendales in a bar - what were their nicknames? Chip and Dale

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What did the paper say to the pen? Nothing, they are inanimate objects!

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A fat man takes a crap, it looked like something a rhino would curl out.

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Q: What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the bat mobile? A: Robin get in the bat mobile.

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Dear Rubix Cube, DONE!! Sincerely, Colorblind

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So this moose walks into the super-market and asks the lady woman at he counter "Got any potatoes?" Lady woman says "Down Isle 5" So the moose goes down isle 5 and there isn't any potatoes

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A man walks into a bar with an MP5 and proceeds to fire thirteen bullets into a crowd of people, several unarmed bystanders attempt to disarm the gunman but they are promptly ordered to stay back or they too would be fired on, a witness reports gunfire coming from down the street to local emergency services and they arrive quickly, organising a perimeter around the bar, county sherriffs decide it would be safest to wait for a swat team, as reports indicated the gunman may have hostages, however the gunfire appears to have ceased an noone has entered or exited the building since police arrived on scene. As SWAT arrives on scene and media helicopters circle above, a person emerges from the bar and the gunman appears behind him, he shoots and kills the hostage and then turns the gun on himself, the death toll reached sixteen including the gunman and as many as fourteen people were injured. there was no clear motive to the massacre, but a search of his appartment indicated he was tired of one-liners on typical joke sites and felt his wife's betrayal with his best friend was too much to bare and he simply snapped after losing his job in the current economic situation.

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Whats the square root of pie? Pies are round.

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Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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jack and jill went up the hill to fetch a pale of water. jack fell down and broke his crown, and is now in intensive care.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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