where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

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my computer crashed because i never quit... out of anything

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Regression.

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Roses are red, Violets are purple.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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What's yellow and smells like piss? Piss

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What's the difference between a duck and a popsicle? I don't shit on hamsters.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally!

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What do you call an old widow with 12 cats? Forever alone.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape the overwhelming feeling of self doubt created by an abusive drug addicted father which has left him seeking life threatening situations that should never befall a simple chicken.

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two mormons missionaries knock on a door they are welcomed into the home and treated with kindness later the family is baptized. the mormons return home with a sense of accomplishment and purpose.

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Why did the janitor commit suicide? He was sick of people's shit.

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What happens when two black people go into a store with masks on? They buy candy for Trick-or-Treating

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A man shouts a women crossing the road "Oi, get your rat out love!" So she did, and it savaged his face.

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My mom says to me are you gay and i say are you gay (What did i just do)

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Minecraft.

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Just happy you are back Nero, I have no idea what a proxy is but I am at my mum`s place, is everything alright between us now?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Maybe because it had escaped from the farm and as it doesn't have full conciousness, it couldn't distinguish between grass and the asphalt, so it happened to cross the road.

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A man walks into a bar. The other two ducked, and then immediately called an ambulance.

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The weels on the bus go...flat

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Why did the loser end up in hospital? Because he was smoking glue.

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What is the difference between a jew and girl scouts. Girl scouts come back from camp

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What did one Japanese man say to the other? I'm not quite sure. I only took one year of Japanese in high school.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops