Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops.

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Q: What is wrong on many different levels? A: Rape on an elevator.

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WEED!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken crossed the road accidentaly as chickens are absent minded.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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Whats the leading cause of death Life.

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Why did the the dog not eat its food? Because the night before the dog had gotten serious disease and lost appetite

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2 black guys, a colombian guy and a white girl are sitting at a bar. They are friends.

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Roses are red violets are blue you're the middle child no one cares about you

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Don't hate the cosplayer hate the... Actually, I lied, hate the cosplayer.

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Ya know why I hate bad puns? Because they aren't punny. In other words they have no real plot and don't make people laugh. They actually tend to get quite annoying.

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knock knock who's there a tiger Alex proceeds to walk away as there is a tiger at his front door. he then calls the police because of the potential danger. the animal control then apprehends the animal and takes it to an enclosure

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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Man I just flew in from Pittsburgh...Boy are the people ugly.

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Why is there no gambling in Africa? Because there's no money in Africa.

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Your mom's so ugly that after being ridiculed for for year she became very self conscience and killed herself. Her family was very sad for many years.

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Wha....You probably shouldnt read the rest of this because i lie a lot (This joke deserves lots of thumbs and comments!)

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Regarding the "I will violate you, your children and your parent if you thumb me red" comment belo. I had a green thumb, I know because I gave it to myself because I am awesome... Now I got none... I person that this this, I cannot wait to X-mas where I will be violating them all, tell them, and as thus remind you that this was their Christmas present from you... Your friendly r*pist neighborhood Moral Man: Yes, I am your neigbor... I cant wait for slot number 24 on my christmas calendar... There is a picture of you and your family... Yummy!

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When life gives you lemons you squirt them in someones eyes and steal what life gave them.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? I can cook a pizza.

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Why did the rooster cross the road? To go play with the other roosters.

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Roses are red, my binoculars are blue. When your window's open, i'm watching you.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are white Daisies are yellow Why am I naming flower colours?

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You!!!!!! Cause your whole existence is just one big joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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