What's orange and is a loyalist in the orange order? Caoimhin McCann?

How do you get a giraffe in a fridge? Open the Door, put the giraffe in, close the door How do you get an elephant in a fridge Open the door, take the giraffe out, put the elephant in, close the door There is an animal meeting, one animal doesn't show up. Which animal didn't come? The Elephant, it's still in the fridge You come across a crocodile infested river, how do you get across? You swim across, the crocodiles are at the meeting, Weren't you listening?

What's black, white, green, red, blue, orange, gray, purple, and yellow? My art project.

A man walked into a bar. He needed 5 stitches.

An apple a day keeps a check next to the "I ate an apple today" box on my "what I did today" daily checklist.

What was the weather like at the rap concert?there was a lil wayne.I DID A FUNNY! !!

The chicken didn't cross the road. Therefor, there is no why.

Q: What would have been the easiest way to stop the second world war without killing anyone? A: Paid Hitler for his art.

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam. Every time he closes his eyes, he's sees Charlie hiding in the darkness of the forest. Not that you could ever see those bastards, mind you. They were fast and they knew their way around the jungle. He remembers the looks on the boy's faces when they walked into that village and... oh Jesus. He shouldn't think about that now. Sometimes he still hears Tex's slow southern drawl. He remembers the smell of Brooklyn's cigarettes. He always had a pack of Luckys. But the boys are gone now... he knows that. It's--it's just that he forgets sometimes. And sometimes the way that seven looks at him... it makes him think. Sets him on edge. And he feels like he's back there... In the jungle... In the darkness. Seven has a hook for a hand as well, which is very scary.

How do you get a cat out of a tree? You throw a brick at it.

Q: What did the Black Man say to the Mexican Fellow Guy? A: Hello.

Why didnt the chicken cross the road? Because he got hit by a bus.

Roses are red Violets are blue You're parents are dead All your friends are too

People eat. Thats because we poop. No its the other way around. Sloppy Joes. Thats what my poop looks like. Oh no im eating poop in between two buns!

What did Sally get for Christmas? Who's Sally?

What did the monkey say to dog Foreskin

Why, if you are blending a baby, should you put it in feet first? So you can look in to it's eyes when masturbating.

What do you call a cereal killing homeless man? Roofless

If you were a booger, I'd pick you and then wash my hands directly after because boogers are gross

HOW LONG is a Chinese name?

why did the panda go to the store? to buy milk.

Yo mama is so fat when she went to the fat contest they said SORRY no pros alowed

I told a woman to make me at turkey sandwich. Of course she complied seeing as I was at Subway.

Q: what smells like cheese and tastes like cheese? A: cheese

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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