A girl is on the phone with her boyfriend the boy friend has a rash the girl said put ointment on it ointment cures everything the boyfriend responded not cancer.

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What did the goose say to the other goose? Honk!

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Why was the homeless man begging for money? Because he needed money to buy liquer for his severe alcohol addiction that was slowly destroying his liver.

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Roses are Red Voilets are Red I am Red I am Dead

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Q: What happened when Bob the Super-mega-ultra man, in his hurry to return an item that was objectively proven to be hazardous to physically normal people, banged his head very hard against a wall of a random building that was located on his route of travel? A: He recieved a concussion and had to coalesce in bed for a long time in order to return back to his regular style of living. Bob was merely a nominal 'Super-mega-ultra' man. He gets hurt practically as easily as anyone else.

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Seen the new batman movie? [spoiler] the audience dies

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Beacause the destination he was trying to reach was across this road Notice how he tried This is because he got hit by a car but know one cares for him

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How do you teach a blond how to cook? You give her a cookbook, a kitchen, and maybe turn Paula Dean's show on.

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Why did German "shower heads" have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers.

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Why can't jokes spit?

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Why do black people like fried chicken? Because it tastes good.

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What do you call someone who can legally murder? OJ Simpson

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Rose is Red Violet Blew Mustard is in Clue … What about Moni-… ahhh my eye!

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- Knock knock - I have a doorbell

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How many alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side

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A man accidentally forgets his daughter at a Sizzler

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once opon a time. never mind i'm just going to beat you kids.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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Why couldn't the Chinese man drive? Because he didn't have his driver's license yet.

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A duck walks into a bar, and the bartender asks what will you have for dinner? The duck says "quack".

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(insert command here) Oh yeah, well I want world peace.

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What do you call a college student who never studies? An irresponsible person

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And I hate Jewish people

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frost bite.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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