My name is never spelt right so its all good

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An astronaut walks into a bar. He orders a beer. After waiting for about 1 and a half minutes he receives his beer. The bartender says it was 3 dollars. The astronaut checks his wallet and finds no money so he pays with credit card. The bartender swipes his credit card but the card doesn't work. So the astronaut takes out his debit card. When the bartender swipes the debit card it worked. In relief the astronaut looks at the bartender and says "Thank you" and then goes home.

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A man walks into a bar and says "hey bartender wanna help me out!" The bartender says "no."

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What's green, has 4 legs and can kill you if lands on your head? a pool table.

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Why couldn't Billy see the show? Because Billy is blind.

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Why did the sperm cross the road? Because I put on the wrong sock this morning.

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knock knock who's there who who who who who what are you a retarded owl

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Cancer.

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A black man walks into a bar. He is then beaten upon and hung, as this is the 50s.

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What's the difference between a zit and a priest? These two things are so different that I couldn't list all of the differences in this text box.

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Austin is gay. He goes to River Road. And is a sophomore.

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chuck norris's daughter lost her virgenatie but he got it back

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robin, get in the car.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I don't like rhymes Penis

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How do you get a jewish girls number check her wrist

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Why couldn't Jimmy have his birthday party at the park? Because little Jimmy passed away several months ago from the result of a vicious genocide committed by a man who didn't properly understand the affect that maiming human beings has on the friends and family members of the person; he was sentenced to jail for a fair and reasonable time for the punishment of the crime he committed in the past.

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Roses are red,violets are blue, i love the colour red and green but its a pitty because im not so keen.

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how do you see the difference between a ceiling and a floor? people dont walk on a ceiling

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A muslim walks into an airport. He then buys his ticket, boards his plane, and his flown to his proper destination.

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What's black and white and read all over? Half a zebra.

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A man goes into a store to buy some bread, He asks a woman behind the counter for help. She says " We have white, wheat, or rye. What kind would you like?" . To which the man replies, " It does not matter, I rode my bicycle.

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What did God say to Abraham? Nothing, because God doesn't exist.

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Why John isn't smiling? Becouse he died yesterday

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What is the square root of 69? 8.306623863

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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