roses aren't red, violets aren't blue, they're all black, cause i'm colorblind. what about you?

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Do you like impressions? Why? That's Socrates

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Why did Justin Bieber bieber his bieber? Because Bieber biebers his bieber when his bieber need a bieber bieber. BIEBER

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whats worse than 1 bee sting? 2 bee stings. whats worse than 2 bee stings? 3 beestings

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender said "why the long face?" The horse then panicked, and feeling threatened, it kicked the bartender with its hind legs and galloped out of the bar. A civilian took immediate control of the situation and dialed the number for animal control, who arrived shortly and tranquilized the deer and put it back in its natural habitat. Don't worry, that didn't actually happen

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Why can't Bob go to the store? He's dead.

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Don't worry about giving me your phone number, I'll just follow you home later.

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why didnt the dog bark? he died in his sleep

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what's worse than the Holocaust. Finding two worms in your apple.

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How do people from Indian Hill laugh? Like an Indian, huh, huh, huh!

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Why is the interesting goat so talented at chess? He's Bobby Fischer's dad.

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick

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What did Superman say when he forgot his cape? "Where's my cape?"

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Why did the black guy drown in the river?? unfortunately he owed 10,000 dollars to a loan shark and couldnt pay his dues So he was tied to an anchor and put in the river.

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Why can't Jimmy walk ever again? Because when he was 12 his father mistook him for a plank of wood a sawed his legs off. We may realise here that this prohibits him from walking.

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why did Samantha fall off the building? She was hit by a flying fridge dropped by a traffic helicopter.

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Why did the bird fall out of the sky, It hit one of the random green pipes.

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Two 16 year old girls are chatting on their way to school: Girl 1 : "hey, is that a hickey on your neck? say, have you been naughty? is it Brian's mark?" Girl 2 : "That's not a hickey, it's a bruise. My dad came home drunk again last night and beat me up for no reason."

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

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how many licks does it take to get too the tootsie center of a tootsie pop. Well it depends on how you eat it, there is always the option of biting it, so there is no defined answer, as well as ones lick might absorb more of the lollipop then another mans.

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Q.what is worse than finding a worm in your apple? A.finding two worms.

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What do you get when you cross a muslim and a mexican? i don't know, i just thought that this would make an interesting question.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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