If life gives you lemons, you are probably suffering from hallucinations.

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A blonde boards a plane and sits in first class. Another passenger sees the blonde in his seat and tells her she's in the wrong seat. "I'm not moving!" says the blonde. The passenger calls over the flight attendant. "Ma'am, you're supposed to be seated in economy class," says the flight attendant. "Please come with me." "No! I'm not moving!" The flight attendant informs the pilot. The pilot comes out, whispers in the blonde's ear, and then the two have wild sex, right in the open. Oh my God, you should have been there. She had the most incredible rack ever!!!

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whats worse than getting no gifts for christmas? getting hit by a bus for christmas

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How am I supposed to eat soup without an envelope?

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What did the monkey say to the newlywed couple? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Guy finds lamp in the desert and rubs it three times. No genie appears because there's no such thing as magic.

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Where do you find a quadriplegic? Where you left him

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to have some hanky panky , but silly Jill forgot her pill so now there's little Frankie...

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Q. Why can't Stevie wonder read? A. Because he is black

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Why do Kenyans run so much? Because they like it.

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knock knock, who's there, white, white who, white van, RUN!

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How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

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Why didnt Stevie Wonder wave back at the white man? Because he's a racist.

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wenis

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Why don't they sell aspirin in the jungle? Because it is not financially viable to sell pharmaceuticals in a largely unpopulated area.

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A little boy had a candle by his bedside. It fell over. The candle was fake, and it didn't burn down his house. When he woke up, he picked up the candle, put it back on his nightstand and had a wonderful day.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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Me: You want pie? You: Yeah what flavour? Me: Pie flavour.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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What's sad about the Holocaust? Lots of men, women, children were brutally murdered in horrible ways.

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What was so special about Anna Frank's diary? Nothing. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Men's rights Because its an anti-joke

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Why was the Islamic woman killed? She insulted Allah.

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what do you call a baby with a stamp on his nose.? Kentucky won the national championship this year

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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