What's worse than finding a worm on your apple? Trench foot on your eyebrow.

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Who told the gorilla he couldn't go to the ballet? The people who were in charge of making that decision.

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Jake: When was war of 1812? Harry: 1812 Jake: Oh.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. I don't stalk him on normal days because that is both weird and illegal, thus I cannot come to a conclusion to what he does on opposite day. However, since he is lonely, I hypothesize that he must do something social, since the opposite on that is lonely.

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Billy was taking a stroll in the forest, when suddenly he met a bear. Billy remember what his father had taught him, and quikly lied down on the ground, pretending to be dead. The bear started licking Billy's face. Still he remained calm. The bear bit off Billys finger. Still he did not move. When the bear ate Billy's foot, he nearly panicked. But thinking of his wife and children he mustered his last remaining strenght, and did not move a muscle. If he tried to run or fight the bear he would surely die and never see them again. Then the bear ate Billys head.

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Why was the pilot suspended from flight? He was the terrorist who caused 911. OUCHH

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12

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An American almost walks into a store when he sees a Jew. The Jew was also about to walk into the store, So the american opens the door for him and says"Jew first."

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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A man once had a monkey, and it made him very happy. then one day, his monkey ran away. So the man was very sad and screamed, "I knew i should have broken the monkey's legs!!"

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What happens when a man and a woman really love each other?... - They'll most likely go on a date and enjoy themselves.

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What do u call a black guy that sell drugs? A nigga

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Why did your girlfriend dump you? because someone brainwashed this guy into believing this nonsense.

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why are you adopted? cause no one loved you.

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A labrador, a chihuahua, and a great dane walk onto a bar. They are strays and were brought to the pound where they were more than likely put down or adopted.

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What's funny and old? I really do'nt know

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Who created Apple? Steve jobs.

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Hmmm, how would Sherlock Holmes solve a crime?... Oh wait. He doesn't exist.

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An early Jewish man walks into a bar where a number of stormtroopers have gathered for drinks and is taken into custody and then transported by railcar to a camp where he and other persecuted minorities are deliberately imprisoned in a relatively small space with inadequate facilities where they await their eventual mass execution.

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What do you call a saxaphone playing unicorn, that's flying away to a distant planet on a penguin? a dream

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So one time this woman was learning...

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What do you call a Black Priest? His title would probably be Reverend, and then his last name after it.

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How did the newborn baby come out of a man? It was ejaculated as a sperm from his testicles

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Q: What do you get when you throw a piece of bread in the oven? A: 6 million Jews

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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