Oh NOES! She does worry about me! YOU MUST APOLOGIZE! Relax, the body has two sources of happy drugs, one is the sweet calm stuff I am really bad at, and the other comes with adrenaline and stuff, the name of which I do not remember, both are important, but yeah, I am a thrill seeker, and when I do not find them, I make a thrill out of whatever I got, whatever that means.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Your face Godammit!!!

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Granny porn!

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Did you know that if you took all the elephants on earth and lined them up in space, that all the elephants would die???

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Knock Knock? Who's There? The Gestapo.

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Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius.

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If you shaved Chuck Norris' beard, you'd find a chin.

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How do you know when a Mexican has died? Well based on the large mass of people inside and outside the funeral home who mostly seem to be of a mexican background and cultue, it would be safe to say that those are his/her friends and family who care deeply about them and therefore you could conclude that a Mexican person probably passed away. It's actually quite sad and going to be a rough few days for those closely connected to the person who died.

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How do you get an elephant in pajamas? Elephants are large mammals with several layers of body fat, and pajamas are for humans. there is no purpose in attempting this feat at all.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Kconk Kconk who? Kconk Ohw Oh yeah, sorry mate, didn't recognise your voice! Come on up, I've got some lagers in the fridge.

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What's the difference between your wife and a female dog? none - they are both bitches!

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What happens when a guy walk into a school and shoots kids? Oh sorry, to soon?

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A woman was in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband. Shortly after she brings the sandwich to him and he thanks her seeing as his disabled legs prevent him from walking to the kitchen and making one himself. His wife later heads to her job as a firefighter.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had just escaped from the slaughterhouse and ran for its life.

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How many people with Alzheimers does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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Why did Mary fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there. Not Mary!!

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What happens when a building has a 13th floor ? You realize this isn't a del building and fall down 13 flights.

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whats funnier than 24? 25

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A black man, a Muslim man, and a Jewish man walk into a bar so the bartender says, "Get the f*** out."

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What the hell are you doing?

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Your mother is so slutty that she seduced me while I was drunk. I'm so sorry.

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Did you hear what happened to the blonde ice hockey team? They drowned in spring training.

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What's worse than a bruise in your knee? A bruise in your other knee. And what is worse than that? The Holocaust. And what is worse than that? A second Holocaust, much bigger, with much more casualties.

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Who is a nazi? • Theo Kingdom

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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