knock knock who's there? a murderer. a murderer who? a murderer who kills you and your family.

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What did the blind man say to his wife? -would you mind helping me upstairs, for I cannot see.

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An Irish man walks into his home and orders a drink.

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A man walk into a bar. Just kidding he has no legs.

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Why did Elsa go into hiding. She died

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What's black and white and red all over? An interracial couple in a car crash.

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OMG YOU BOUGHT ME FLOWERS THANK YOU

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A: What time is it? B: Half past six.

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A mass murderer ran into a bar full of people. He first shot a man. What did the man say when the murderer shot him? Nothing, he was hit in the head and instantly died before he could say anything.

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Why did the scientist go to the hospital? because he was experimenting with dangerous chemicals, and they exploded in his unsuspecting face. He doesn't have skin now.

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What did Batman say to When they were heading to the Batmobile Robin get in the batmobile.

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? a pizza does not have a heart

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Why was was a black guy carrying a tv out of someone else's house. He was helping them move.

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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It was a dark and stormy night. The whole family waiting for the phone to ring as they await for a criminal to give instructions. Then the phone rings... RING RING Jeffery: "Hello? Yes, sir. Yes, sir. No sir please don't! No, have mercy! Yes sir. No sir, no. Yes sir. Bye." Donald: "What did the man say?" Jeffery: "Wrong number..."

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how do you make a plummer cry? you kill his family

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So lion bites off a mans foot. He bleeds to death.

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What do you get a kid with no arms for Christmas? Hungry, Hungry Hippos.

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Knock knock Who's there? Be Be who? Be yourself

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How can a chicken be dirty? It can be covered in dirt!

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what did the blond do after she turned 18? Reelected Obama.

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What did the boy's mother say to her daughter when she walked in on her father having sex with her grandmother? The grandfather said "how are you"? He wasn't a part of that fiasco. However I'm sure that whoever saw what was confused and looking for answers.

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So I was walking along the beach one day and I see this whale. Then this dolphin named Lennie came up and was like, "Hey whale, how've you been? I haven't seen you in a while." And the whale was like, "Sorry, but I can't talk to you." And Lennie was like, "Whyever not?" And the whale said, "Because I'm not a starfish!"

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What do you call 100 black men at the bottom of the ocean? A scuba group because during these hot summer months they like to cool off and go scuba diving.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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