your moms so fat she has kankles

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my parents let me say words that start with sh and end in it. shit what else could it be

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Why did the Harry Potter fan cry in school? She ran out of tampons.

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Why did the boy not wake up on time for school? He was fuck in dead.

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What do you call a Jew talking on a cellphone ? Well one should mind his/her business and shouldn't call people names and discriminate against them on religious or ethnic grounds .

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roses are red voilets are red bushes are red trees are red HOLY SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE!!!!!!

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What do Gay horses eat? Cheese.

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Yee

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frogs are green and grass is greener i just blew up ur mom and ur the cleaner now get to work SLAVE

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Your mom is so retard that she needs "special help" from medical professionals. :3 <33

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Why is the chicken on the road? Cuz he died trying to get to the other side.

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Yo Momma so fat, that the doctor prescribed her prescription drugs that deal with her eating disorder and recommended that she begin a low calorie diet and live a more active lifestyle.

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Why did the lonely man stop talking? He was alone.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? Because she has no arms. Why did the little child orphan with no arms or legs get for christmas? CANCER and for his birthday A.I.D.S. R.I.P little orphan

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The boy wakes up and says "I'm feeling kind of fishy today." The dad come into the sea anemone and says that's because you are, Nemo.

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A man walks into a bar and walks up to the counter. The bartender looks the man up and down and asks "Can I help you?" "Ya, get this guy off my ass" the duck promptly replies.

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you will now laugh.

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You know I can, and I already have, as once the mind knows its getting certain medications, it spends the energy required in order to achieve the effect, this is what psychiatrists and those assholes would call "psychological effect". With that said, I am still tired, and the stimulants are waking up my ouchies too, so I think ill get some sleep and dont worry, I can sleep with any stimulants as long as I can use my mind. By the way, my "hypnosis senses" are not hypnosis by themselves, but in order to hypnotize oneself and other, one must learn to read body language and stuff like that, something which I now do subconciously because I am experienced. Alice is calm again, her hands are shaking but she is cold, I am pretty sure she is far more tired than I am, so I kinda ordered her to go home, this guy can type for me. Just want you to know that I am doing fine now, and that the PTSD is much less severe than before as my brain no longer remembers the voice and looks my parents had back then, so I just feel my nose getting punched and breaking, its... Surprisingly annoying, so ill get some sleep, if nothing else it will help Alice get better, and I wont lie, I need it.

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why did the mushroom go to the party? because he`s a fungi

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I hate Mondays, the man said as he drove to work. Fortunately for him, it was a Wednesday.

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The French guy and the Italian guy got in the bar at the same time, but they didn't talk as they didn't know each other.

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Q. What happened first The Tree or The Apple. A. Johny Appleseed.

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penispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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