Q. Why did the little girl drop her ice cream? A. She dropped it as she got into the van

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The other day, I broke my snare drum.... I still haven't fixed it and am planning on doing so soon.

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A man walks into a bar The bartender asks: What would you like to drink?

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What did the pirate say when his parrot died? Nothing. They both died at the same time in a horrible shipwreck. There were no survivors.

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what happened when Bob told a joke? Joe laughed.

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can't drown babies in roast beef.

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In the movie, Full Metal Jacket, my favorite part was when the entire platoon beat PVT. Pyle with hard soap while he was tied down. Actually I am lying. That part was extremely cruel.

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Q: What said the first bagel to the other? A: Nothing! Bagels can't talk!

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Why did Chuck Norris eat a sandwich? Because he was hungry.

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A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

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Q. Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman? A. Cause you have to hollow out it's head! A blonde walked into a doctor's office with two burnt ears. The doctor asked her, "What happened to your ear?" The blonde replied, "I was ironing and the phone rang, so instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron and put it to my ear. Still not satisfied, the doctor asked, "Well, what happened to the other ear?" "The sucker called again!"

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why was smokey bear sad? he got cancer from smokeing

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What did the burn victim get for Christmas? A book of matches

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Three Jew begin to walk down the street, they then pursue walking and purchase many goodies from vendors.

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187

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What do you say to a black guy who is holding a gun to your head? Nothing. He is holding a gun to your head.

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how many indians does it take to screw in a light bulb? one if it can reach 2 if it's high.One to screw in the bulb the other to hold the ladder.

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Why couldn't the white child dunk the basketball? His legs were amputated and he has been confined to a wheelchair.

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What did the big Chimney say to the little Chimney? Nothing they are chimneys ....

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My mom farted, she also has Alzheimer's, I also have Alzheimer's. Also pizza didn't like it

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Why doesn't a duck's quack echo? Evolution.

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Why did John fall off the tree? We were throwing rocks at him.

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What's worse than finding a dead baby in a trash can? -Finding a dead baby in 5 trash cans

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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