What did the Asian store clerk say to the midget? yay penis

You're a big fat monkey.

What did Helen Keller name her children? Nothing, since she didn't have any.

Whats blue, green and red, and runs trough the strees each sunday? ...What? I have no idea, I was hoping you did.

world peace

What's the worst thing about being homeless? Not having a home.

How many pancakes can you fit into a gopher hole? Red - because ice cream doesn't have any bones.

Why did the little boy fall down the stairs? I pushed 'em.

How do you get a nun pregnant? Screw her.

A horse walked into a bar, the bartender asked "Why the long face?" The horse did not reply, as it was a horse and did not speak English nor understand what the man had said, the horse then stumbled around the bar for a while, confused, before finding the exit and leaving.

why did Susay fall of the swing? Cause she had no arms

how much fish could a chicken

Why did the water in the lake disappear? There was a toilet at the bottom.

If life throws you melons, you might be dyslexic.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

Why did the policeman arrest the black man? He had commited a crime and murdered somebody.

Q: How are a plum and a rabbit alike? A: They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

- Do you want to hear a joke? - No. - Ok.

Where do 4 Mexicans in a car go? In the Car Pool lane.

Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken can only be speculated.

Person 1: Knock knock Person 2: Who is there??? Person 1: ..................................... Person 2: (Opens Door) Person 1: BOO i scared u and ding dong ditched u Person 2: Actually "Ding Dong Ditching" is when a one or more human beings search for a targeted house where they ring the door bell and run to a designated location to hide. After the resident opens the door to find out no one has stayed and waited, they close the door and the human beings quickly run up and repeat the task many as times until the resident finally catches them.

What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

Customer Service "May I help you?" "Yes."

How do you stop a black man from drowning Get your foot off of his head

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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