Why'd the aborted fetus cross the road? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What is purple and rhymes with apple? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call three black guys in a bar? A bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the mentally handicapped kid fail his math test? Because he didn't study.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Ask me if I'm a duck. Are you a duck? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Want to hear an orphan joke? Knock Knock Who's there? Not the parents

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, It's not my fault, I found you in a zoo!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what happened to the drug addict? he go high

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the Zen Buddhist say in the hamburger store? He said, "Make me one with everything."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was Suzy Knock Knock Who's There The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender can you throw me a beer and the bartender says yes and he throws him the beer and the man says I can't catch I have the smallest hands in the world and the bartender says go across the street there is a guineas book of world record store an check if you h e the smallest hands and he does so the next day he goes back and asks for another beer and the bartender throws him a beer and say I cant catch cause I have the smallest feet in the world and he goes across the street and checks and he does and then the third day he goes back to the bar and asks for a beer and the bartendor throws him another beer and says I can't catch I have the smallest penis in the world so he goes to the guiness book o world record store and then goes bac to the bar and asks..... Who's austin bell?????

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A dyslexic man walks into a bra drinks a bear and leafs .....

thumb_up thumb_down -3

a man walks into a house... then realizes its not his house and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Could not care less if he is jealous, too busy living it up, anyways thanks for notifying me, and guys, I know I could call up the office and tell you all that you wont get paid if you remain reading my comments, I might not be leading by example today, but I suggest you get back to work, as for the case whose name we do not reveal here, my part is done, yes I know, you can find it under cabinet C in my office, the thick file with the color pictures (the only one with color pictures) And that is why I am taking a break, now please get back to work, as I said I could just call down at every damn office room, but that would be unfair for those that are not on horsecrap network. Thanks people, keep the flag flying. Nero your overlord Fuck formalities, im not at work today.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How do you get a dog to stop humping you? Pick him up and suck his dick.

thumb_up thumb_down

There was a fat man crying. I just told him the local Mc D's was arson attacked.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Maroon 5 to a bitch: Cross my heart and hope to die... wait why don't i just kill you bitch!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why do vampire's from 'Twilight' sparkle? Because it's a really bad movie.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Johnson stops eating

thumb_up thumb_down +20

whats worse than finding a holocaust in you apple...........

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the kids all eat their homework? Probably because they were starving to death and there was no other food source available.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why can't Larry drive? Larry's a rock.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Did you hear about the guy who came onto his best friend's wife? Yeah, she handed him some kleenex after and told him to wipe it off.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

That moment where the screen shouts "HE MAN" And you look at the guy and go... Hmm did they say He-Man or She-Man? HE MAN!

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops