A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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What did jimmy say when his brother had been mean to him all day and he was about to get a straw and his brother took the last one? That was the last straw!

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A horse cantered into a bar.

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How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the floor. How do you make a baby stop crawling? Nail the other one to the floor.

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Roses are red, Violets are violet, If you think Violets are blue you're an idiot because they're called violets for a reason.

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A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

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Roses are Rose, Violets are Violet.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are in a terrible ship crash that leaves them stranded on a desert island. All of their survival supplies sank with the boat so they don't last very long.

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a white men said to another white men that someone robbed a bank, it was at night and he wasn't wearing a mask, and also the camera couldn't see him, they now found out that he was black.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one.

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Chuck Norris once went skydiving. his parachute did not deploy. where he landed is now known as the grand canyon

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A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

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You're momma's so fat, Oh wait. She's not.

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A chicken walked into the bar...

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Why did the old lady have a heart attack? She got raped by a giraffe.

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What did the man with AIDS say to the other man? I have AIDS and will most likely succumb to the disease.

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My butt!!!!!!!!

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Why can't penguins fly? Because their wings are adapted to swim and not to fly

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How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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My computer crashed today I was watching porn.

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Why are all the other numbers scared of 7? Beacuse 7 stabbed his mother with a steak knife.

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A black woman sits down in the front of a bus.

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How do you keep a dog from barking? Kill it.

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wanna no wats not funny........ aids

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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