I know animal testing is cruel, but my dog did really well on the SATs.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sugar is sweet, Who gives a shit

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How do you kill a vampire? Because vampires are figments of society's imagination and actuall living creatures, this task is impossible.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the mountains? A: Bear food.

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Q:What does a virgin and a penny both have in common? A:Guys don't want them.

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What did the pilot say to the female flight attendant? He told her to never tell his wife about the time they spent in mexico or he'd bludgeon her to death with a hammer.

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what's the difference between a chicken and a grape? They're both purple........ except for the chicken

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Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary.

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zebras

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What did the the boy get from his grandma for Christmas. Nothing. she died a week ago.

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Atheism

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what didn't I do when making this joke? Read and agree to the terms of service.

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If John had 4 apples and gave 2 to Mary, what is the circumference of the sun?

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This is funny.

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I do u blow up a house U put dynamite in it

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Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

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The schoolboy said to the bus driver, this is my stop the bus driver replied "no, we have a while to go yet"

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Q:why did the lion eat the zebra? A: because it was hungry.

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What did suzie do when she dropped her cookie? She died because it was secretly a bomb

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Two bars walk into a guy, and the bartender says, "You're telling the joke wrong, stupid!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because animals walking across a paved street is a very common occurrence ever since the industrialization of the modern world.

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Why did litltle Susie drop her ice cream? She got hit by a bus Knock knock Who's there Not Susie

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A white guy, a black guy, and an asian guy are all sitting on a park bench. They share several minutes of uncomfortable silence due to cultural differences.

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What is Godzilla's favorite sport? Nothing, Godzilla is a fictional character.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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