How do you drown a blonde. Put a scratch 'n' sniff at the bottom of a pool.

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What do you call a duck playing a trombone? Hallucinations

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

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A: How much do you love me? B: Count the stars in the sky and you'll know. A: But, it's morning. B: Exactly.

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Why did the boy fall of of his bicycle? He was hit by an asteroid.

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How many Bedouins do you need to change a light bulb? 2, one is changing the bulb and the second is powering the generator.

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learn the ropes?

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Why did the man tell the other man to shut up? The other man said something that made this particular man mad which drove him to tell the other man to shut up.

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why couldnt sally help timmy pick up his ice cream? she had no arms

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how do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The fridge is on its side, the door is torn off, and the ruined food scattered all over the floor. Not to mention there is an elephant in your kitchen.

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What's harder to pick up, a football or an anvil? It doesn't matter when you lost your fingers in 'nam.

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Jackie Chan: Who the **** is chuck Testa? A: Chuck Testa was an internet sensation who became famous after his video on Youtube advertising his taxidermy business, Ojai Valley Taxidermy.

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Whats white and blue and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? a fridge in a denim jacket :D

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What did the vegetarian order for lunch? A dead baby.

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roses are red leather is black when when god made you he was smoking crack

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Why did the black homosexual blind man want to go to the comedy club? He enjoys a good laugh

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What do you say to man with no hands. How do you feel.

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I bought a DVD called "the 18 holes of Tiger Woods". It was a fascinating incite into the golfing technique of arguably one of the greatest sportsmen of all time.

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I'm not saying my mother-in-law is fat, because she is anorexic.

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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I have down syndrome. -RDV

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Man 1: HEY DUDE! Man 2: Go shoot yourself

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Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He died

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When life gives you lemons.... Don't eat them, because you're probable hallucinating, and you don't know where they came from.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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