What did the cow say to the Businessman? Nothing. Cows cant talk.

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I LIKE TRAINS

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A rooster lays an egg on the tip of a roof. Which side does it fall to? Roosters don't lay eggs

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Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy wuzzy had cancer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Steve

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, Run Quick, Before I Rape you!!!

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Butter. Butter who? Oh, um, sorry i forgot the rest...

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? HE WAS DEAD STUPID IDIOT.

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Liverpool City Football Club

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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I like my women how I like my coffee; without a penis.

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Q: How many times did the chicken cross the road? A: One and a half.

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What do you call a sleeping bull? Don't call him anything and back away slowly.

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The Olympics

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Q.what did god say when he made the first black person? A.oh shit i burnt it.

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What do you call it when a black man and a japanese woman get married? A wedding.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Blond answers: Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat............?

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Mexicans are inferior because! BEECUZ! Listen buddy, to be honest, I get girls every now and then because I am what they all want me to be, myself. You are a great friend as far as I am concerned, and I care a lot about you considering I saw you once like... 13 years ago, but I do not spend an entire night chatting with someone on horsehead network out of all things unless that person means a lot more than sex for me... Hell, if I did not feel that nice about you, I would not even have wanted to, and that sounds really awkward for a guy like me to say, believe me, you wont be losing a friend. AS LONG AS YOU KEEP GIVING IT TO ME! I am joking, but this is who I am (sadly) I have many female friends, and yeah well, some I well you know, I am just not the kind of guy that listens to girls sob stories, and pretend to be their gay best friend, while I watch someone bad ass come and bang her... Nah, I am more like that bad ass banger, except I dont break girls hearts afterwards. Seriously, I am really fond of you, to the point where I will say something guys mostly do not say: If you are feeling pressured into stuff, then dont do it, you wont be losing a friend, I wanna spend an intimate night with you (day, shower, on the breakfast table all that) but thats because I really like you, we have built some intimacy in pretty short time if you ask my opinion... See? Now I am being honest and leaving myself vulnerable, and I do that because I honestly care about you.

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Once a upon of time, there was 7 dwarfs. Their names are Sleepy, Stupid, Sexy, Shithead, Sonovabitch, Shutup, and Simon. They are a street gang called the 7 dwarfs and was notorious for causing trouble. All the dwarfs got away from the police except for Simon, because that was his real name.

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charlie sheen losing

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a big fat bully!

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What would you do when pigs fly? Pigs cannot fly, therefore this question is impractical.

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Why did the man throw his son out the window? His house was on fire

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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