What do you call someone with the world biggest encyclopedia on their head? Dead.

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guy 1- damn its hot in here guy 2- then turn on the damn fireplace

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What do you call a fridge? Dorothy.

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A Cow Walk's Into A Bar And Say's Drink Please The Bartender Is Then Sent To A Mental Hospital For Talking To A Cow.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says: Why the long face? The horse says: I'm a horse. We have long faces.

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What is white and flys at you from a tree? A refridgarator. I lied about the flying part.

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A man went to the doctor and told him he was having the strangest dream. "First I was a tee pee Then I was a wigwam A tee pee, a wigwam. Do you have any idea what could be wrong?" The doctor looked at the man and said "You have aids."

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When Josh moran was born he was thrown up in the air three times and was caught twice.

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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A blind man asked me out last night. I told him I was seeing someone...

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What did the parrot say to the cow? Moo

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Connor is homosexuaI

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Why did the man float in the lake? Because he had more fat than average, so he was very buoyant

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What did the Asian get on his math assignment? 56%, he forgot about it and passed it in a day late with a number of questions uncompleted.

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If pro is the opposite of con what's the opposite of progress? Retrogression.

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How Do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door put the elephant in and close the door. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door take the elephant out put the giraffe in and close the door. The lion king has a meeting with all the animals but one doesn't turn up, which one is it? The giraffe because it's still in the fridge.

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I dont hate you Lets just say if you were on fire and i had water id drink it

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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Roses are red Violets are red Everything is red If you are dead... Or a potato

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If only i were a man! You not! Your a.... WO-MAN!

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There once was a girl who took away my source of entertainment. Her name was Nicole.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

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A human walked into a bar, The bartender quacked, "quack quack quack" The human wondered why all the patrons and the bartender were ducks, so he left the bar, before his head spontaneously exploded.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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