A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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What's big, white and will killl you if it falls out of a tree? A polar bear.

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What's pink and smells like a red rose? A pink rose.

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Why did Jim laugh so hard? Triangle!

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Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Ones fun to hit with a sledgehammer. The other one is a watermelon.

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roses are read violets are blue u suck and ur gay

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Have you heard about the Polish princess? There isn't one. The Polish monarchy was abolished in 1918.

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Don't turn around when you're talking to me. Why? You will walk off of that cliff

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Why did it look like the girl peed herself? Because she peed herself

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Roses are red Violets are blue I need a job Stop spitting on me

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Knock Knock Who's There? Ram My Penis Into Ram My Penis Into Who? Me.

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Knock Knock There was no answer as the house was empty.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 raped six's mother

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Why did jenny fall off the swing? ...Cause she has no arms Knock, Knock Who's there? not jenny

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A guy hit his elbow. Judaism.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesnt rhyme And your entire family died trying to fly to your house for Christmas. They crashed into a orpanage for death children. There were no survivors.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because I hit her with an axe.

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What do you think JFK would be doing if he was alive today? Yelling for help and trying to somehow escape his coffin.

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why is blake oneal gay? because hes black and he likes peniss in his ass

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Smoke Day, Every Weed.

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why does pink turn into blue it doesnt you just get hit by a frigde because you cried whe you got shot several times

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A magician was driving down the road and turned into a driveway...

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What's black, white, and red all over? A dead panda.

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Which is worse, 9/11 or the holocaust? Biting into an apple and finding a worm.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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