My neighbor's kid was running around yelling magical spells. I said "Wow, you really want to be like Harry Potter, don't you?". He said "Yes!". So, I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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What do you call a group of white males wearing hoods and setting fires? Cold

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Q: How did the black guy die? A: After a long battle with a terrible case of pneumonia he struggled to breath and died a slow and peaceful death... R.I.P. Dad

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When it comes ro the zodiac my grandmother was a cancer and... She ws killed by... A giant crab

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Jehovas Witnesses: Summer vacation edition reality show: BItch: Do you know Jesus? Guy: Goddammit you A*Beep*SSHOLES again! I keep telling you all this is m0thertrucking Spain, I know like 500 Jesus`s living in this town alone! *slams door* Moral: Everybody knows at least something about the goddamn Jesus! Ill try asking "Is he the guy that lives downstairs?" Next time and see what happens.

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A blind man walks into a bar, bystanders help him up.

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Konock Konock Uh, you spelt knock knock wrong... Oh.

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"stupid creationist" Perfect example of redundance.

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A man is boarding a plane. The attendant asks if he has a passport. The man says no, and leaves.

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why was the little girl crying? because i raped her.

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What's the difference between celery and a truck?

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A man walks into a bar.....he then slips on an ice-cube and suffers massive trauma due to the fall. The owner is sued by the mans family and subsequently loses his business. He can no longer provide for his family. His wife is two weeks away from giving birth to their third child.

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Who took the last can of soda? I dunno.

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

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What goes in dry, comes out wet and pleases two people. A teabag, you pervert.

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What did the girl with no hands get? Gloves.

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how many shit jokes do you need to make before you realize that random does not equal funny? An egg.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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So a man walks into a bar and gets drunk.

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1500 Jews were ordered to walk along a straight path whilst in the midst of a blizzard. How close did they ever get to the end? What end? They marched until every last bit of their rotten flesh was driven from their weak bodies. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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but there is a road to the super market

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side -Tag

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there are 2 men standing on the roof of a building, one of them jumps off, the other one is called Peter

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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