what do you call a dumb blonde with no arms? Her name because she will not respond to anything else

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Why was the prostitute's throat sore? Allergies.

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What do you get when you cross a baby and a chainsaw? Life imprisonment.

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Malcolm Johnson from Zenith windows, I was wondering if I could speak to you for a while about some fantastic offers which we currently have on double glazed windows....

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Why did Colussi miss school for 2 years? -Because he died

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A horse walks into a bar. A chicken crosses the road. Humanity is no more. Nature reclaims the Earth.

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You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't divide by zero.

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A panda walks into a bar, orders some bamboo shoots, and bamboo leaves, and eats them

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Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M Factory Because she repeatedly wrote Ws

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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My name is Corey, and I am Dickbang Majestic. Q: Who is Dickbang Majestic? A: Corey is.

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A guy walks into a bar. No one notices he has epilepsy.

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Holy shit Lawman! Next thing we know Nero comes back from the death! Seriously get over here stat and get "my men" under control here! So that last damn Moral was for you! I never understood why he picked me, so he never picked me at all... Man am I relieved! Do you ever fucking get tired of playing the hero? I basically ended up declaring war on Nero`s on people here, what should I do?

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What's brown and smells like paint? -Poop. I don't know why it smells like paint though..

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Why do dogs walk across the street? Cause they can

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

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theres no I in Intelligence a.w. j.p.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? The IRS, we're taking your house. This is a vacation notice, please be out of the property in 30 days. Have a nice day.

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What did the old Hispanic man say to the young black woman in the Laundromat? I don't know cause I goofed in school and didn't pay attention in spanish class.

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what do black men and vending machines have in common? neithier work and they both steal your money

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What did the doctor say to the patient? You have cancer.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a doorstep? A: Matt.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why do you care?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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