Why did Jack take a prune out for the evening? A healthy snack as part of a balanced diet.

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A Buddhist priest, and mexican drug lord, and a 12 year old girl walk into a bar. The bartender looks at the little girl and says. "Honey, you're too young to be in here." the little girl looks around and says. "Oh, My mistake." and leaves.

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Q: What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A: Nothing, they never met! :)

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a man walks into a bar and says "help me, my daughter just got hit by a car! the bartender phones the ambulance and the girl survives.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? "Poker Face"

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I asked her where you were.

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What does a dishwasher and the holocaust have in common? Not much.

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A man walk into a bar he buys a few drinks. When he is done the bar tender gives him his check. Man told the bar tender he has no money to pay for it. Bartender says," ok how about this we have a horse in the back that hasn't laughed a day in his life if you can make him laugh you get the drinks for free." so man proceeds to do so. A few minutes later man comes out horse is dying. So the man gets his drink for free. A few days later man comes back with the same deal. So the bartender tells him" that horse hasn't stopped laughing since you went back there. If you can make him stop you get your drinks for free." Man goes in a few minutes later comes out horse is crying. Man man is remarked by how he did it but he doesn't question it. A few days past the man comes back an the horse is still crying...... So the bartender ask the man how he did..... Man says," first I told him I had a bigger dick then him....second time I proved it"

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How many pieces of toast can you eat in 1 year? well, it depends on how many pieces you eat in one day, does it count snacks, or full meals of just toast, can you eat even when your not hungary, if you throw up does it still count? If it is 1 piece a day, it would be 365.

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What's worse than seeing 5 dead babies on the side of the road? Realizing slavery is banned after buying a perfectly good young black male for a reasonable price at your local walmart.

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What has two legs but can't walk? A quadriplegic man who lost mobility in his legs due to a horrific logging accident.

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What do you call a baby in a blender? Child abuse.

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What's funny? A joke. What's funnier than a joke? Two jokes.

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What did Helen Keller say when she fell into a well? Nothing. She died upon impact and her family mourned her death for years.

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Why did the monkey fall off his tricycle? He got hit by a fridge.

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A man walks into a bar. He I then taken to the hospital for a major head injury.

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say cheese

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate black people, and mexicans too.

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What do you say when you kill a pregnant lady? Double kill

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A black guy walks into a shop, takes a shirt, and then he pays for it.

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A homeless man walks into a bar. The bartender felt bad and gave him $20.

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why didn't the girl like that one guy? he hurt her, hurt her real bad.

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Why do seagulls fly over seas? Because if they flew over bays they'd be called bagels.

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Why did twenty mexicans run down a hill? There was a marathon in the area.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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