What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? A tragic drowning victim. And later, food for sharks, probably.

How do you drown a blonde? Intentionally attempting to drown anyone, regardless of their hair color, is murder which is illegal and morally wrong to do.

Why did the boy throw the clock out the window? He was severely depressed.

What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay the manufacturers suggested retail price.

On Friday the 13th,My cat turned into a dog.

Jews

Banana

if life give you lemons. put them in the fridge they should be there...

What did the lawyer name his daughter. he couldnt because both the baby and his wife died in child birth.

A man drives home from a bar one night, He is under the influence and his reckless driving will costs many innocent people their lives.

Do you want to hear a joke? No. Women's- oh, okay.

stephen hawking walks into a bar...

Two black people fall off a cliff, who hits the ground first? Who Cares?

Why did the Nazi Doctor drown a Jew in the lake? To see how long it would take a Jew to drown with its big nose. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

I don't get it

A Palestinian woman asks a man for directions. She is promptly stoned to death.

What's white and can't climb trees? A fridge

Why did the passenger plane crash? Well, if not mechanical failure or human error, probably because a bomb was detonated onboard.

How do Chinese people get their names? From their parents.

whats the difference between valium and m & ms ? one is,nt a tasty little chocolate

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have five fingers, The middle one's for you.

How many jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. It really isn't that hard.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't cross it. He was pushed.

What does a dyslexic person call God? Dog

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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