A man walks into a bar with a monkey. I forgot the rest but you mom is a whore

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog. Instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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Q: The girl fell for the guy, but the guy was sad about it, why? A: Because she fell off a cliff.

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Why did Michael Jackson become white? Because he likes to molest children.

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why did Timmy fall off the the slide? he was hit by a plane why was Jimmy laughing? he watched Timmy get hit by the plane

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Stop screaming! The damn uppercase letters make my head hurt! Let a lady have it for once!

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Guy 1: "hey look that homeless guy is riding a bike!" Guy 2 " Ya i know and look, there's a dead pro biker other there"

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I don't like movies. Because ticket prices are overwhelming.

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a man walks into a bar after a long day at work, and asks for a drink. he finishes, pays the bill and leaves a handsome tip for the bartender and heads home.

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So you are a giggler huh? You ticklish too? Anyway, you ever watched Deathnote? I was gonna ask something kinda important but it disappeared, so you tell me stuff first. Oh, my parents? Well, they where nice and sweet, but lets talk about something cruel and horrible. (If you switch up nice and sweet with cruel and horrible and the opposite, you will get the picture I am trying to pain here) What makes me so much more interesting huh? And why are you afraid you may look like an Alien? HEEEEEY! I am a legal citizen and I am not freaking Mexican!

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What's five miles long and has an IQ of 40? A democrat parade.

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Why did the man walk into the wall? He was blind.

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Hi I'm makena. I'm a cynical asshole

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Why did the boy hate his bicycle and soccer ball he got for Christmas? The boy didn't have legs. He also hated sports. By the way he was black but that doesn't matter, he still hated sports. Who in the right mind would give a cripple inappropriate toys? Probably a racist Santa Claus. Oh by the way, Santa Claus is not real. So did they return the presents after the boy found out what it was? Yes, and it turns out the boy got a guitar and piano instead. Too bad the boy is also deaf.

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What's the difference between a rooster and a waffle iron? A lot.

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How did the baby cross the road? The baby got stapled to a chicken

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What do you call a man that likes fishsticks? His name

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How do you make a Fireman cry? You kill his family in a fire.

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Q: What do you call a grammatically incorrect horse? A: An horse

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chuck norris does not know how to use a plunger.

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Q.who is Tiny, a lion and has no friends and is a bald eagle? A.Rory Johnston

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No reason.

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What is the saddest episode on tv ever? The live broadcast of the World Trade Center being destroyed.

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I'm Ryan Dunn, and this is a 120 mph car crash

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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