Q:Whats not funny? A: Antijokes

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A: what does hellen keller say to her mom? B: nothing. she cant speak due to her lack of hearing and visualizing

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a man is bussy at work, when he gets called by his doctor. YOUR WIFE IS HAVING A BABY! the doctor yells. so the man runs to his car, drives home like a madman, and arrives home with his doctor holding the newborn in his arms. "congratulations" the doctor says "it's a boy" the man takes the baby in his arms and says: "but, this child is black!" his wife cheated on him and the familly breaks appart

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but his stomach was not big enough to finish. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free meal.

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How do you know when your dog is gay? When the dog starts wearing way to many Deep Vs and watches the Oxygen channel with "friends"

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How do you make a baby cry? You hit it in the face with a hammer.

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What's the difference between a Obama and a drug-dealer? Obama is the president and a drug-dealer has lost his life to the awful streets.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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how come timmy didnt brush his teeth he didnt have a toothbrush

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When will Abe Vigoda be alive again? Never. There will never again be a time when Abe Vigoda will be alive. For example, Abe Vigoda will be dead for the entirety of the year 2038. He will continue to be dead if we move forward to the year 2091, and even if we keep jumping forward throughout history, stopping in the years 2250, 2871, and 3546, we will not land in an era when Abe Vigoda will be alive. Another way to look at this is to imagine Abe Vigoda had died in earlier years. Let's say he had died in 1902. Would he be alive today? The answer, sadly, is no. We get the same answer if we suppose Abe Vigoda had died in 1822, 1715, or ~ 85,200,000 BPE. To sum up, it is not precisely accurate to say that Abe Vigoda will be dead for a very long time. That implies a limit on the amount of time he will be dead. There is no limit.

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Why do Jew's have long noses? To dig out of the ashes.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because yo mama so fat and the pig ate my poop

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There once was a man from Nantucket, whose dick was so long he could provide women with more pleasure than the average male.

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A White man, a Black man, and an Asian man go to Heaven. They were in a plane crash.

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What happened when the Asian girl got an 89 on her Test? Her parents kicked her out of their house.

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there's two nuns cycling down a cobbled street. one nun says:ooo iv'e never been this way before! the other nun says:i'm not surprised there's roadworks and a diversion!

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Ask me if i'm a serial killer Are you a serial killer? Yes and I killed your family

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What did the peanut say to the jelly

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A fat man orders a pizza. Then after eating it, he gets a eart attack due to his high cholesterol and lack of exercise

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A priest, a rabbi and Santa walk into a bar. that's a highly coincidental situation.

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Why did the horse stop running? His master beat him to death.

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Do you have a curfew? No its saturday!

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Knock knock Who's there Guess who? Billy, is that you? Yeah baby I'm home! OMG!!!

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How many like does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? As many as it takes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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