so a jewish man walks into a bar. He looks at the bartender and says...this better be free

thumb_up thumb_down +25

When life gives you Live Aid, celebrate the fact that you've just gone back in time 27 years and somehow cheated death temporarily.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

whats purple and brown lucozade sport

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the Shark say when he had no lunch? We have a FISHue!

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Why did a black man bring a baseball bat to a white man's apartment? Because he was stopping by his friends house before heading to a rousing game of baseball.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did Little Suzy get hit by a truck? Well the real question is, "Why was Little Suzy in the road," so why was she? Because she felt like it.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Whats the worst thing about dying? Your not alive anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Ask if I'm a aardvark. Are you a aardvark? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's Terry short for? He's missing a leg.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What time is it? 10:58

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Enough with the gay jokes, they all go one direction.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the homosexual say to the purse walking down the street? - I'm a homosexual.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

whats worse than 10 babies nailed to a tree? one baby nailed to ten trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whats Green and has wheels? Grass, I was kidding about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

sarah taylor

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock, Knock Who's there? Dementia Dementia who Knock, Knock

thumb_up thumb_down +22

wat is osama bin ladin's favorite sport grenade catch

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Is your friend gay? Yeah, duh, of course he's happy.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down

Person 1 : i need to sneeze Person 2 : ok ( person 1 sneezes ) Person 2 : bless u ( few seconds later ) did u sneeze? Person 1 : yep :)

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I see said the blind man to his def wife as the dog with no legs ran over

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Where's my shotgun

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops