A blond walks into an electronics store. Then she promptly walks out, as she got the wrong store.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A horse walks into a bar. The owner immediately seeks out the owner of the misplaced obstruction and asks them to remove it promptly less his animal suffers any more untoward damage

thumb_up thumb_down +33

The doctor said he had good news and bad news. I asked for the bad news first. He said, "You have AIDS. I asked what the good news was. He said "You will only have it about a year."

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Knock Knock.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Two men walk into a bar. The third man ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what is the difference between a park bench and a black guy? the park bench is an inanamite object and doesn't have feelings

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a gay woman who likes to smoke cigarettes? A lesbian with a possible nicotine addiction.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down +24

If a tree falls in the forest and it does it make a sound? No, Trees can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +161

How many dead bodies does it take to fill up a bathtub? Wellll.......... It depends on how big the bathtub is.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

seek beauty

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: why is the squirrel stuck in the tree? A: because he should have finished high school.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

There once was a mountain climber. He loved to climb mountains. He had climbed all of the world's tallest peaks...except Mount Everest. So, one day he decides to climb Mount Everest. He takes weeks and weeks to prepare himself. He trains and trains three times a day till he thinks he is ready to climb Mount Everest. Climbing up it takes forever. It feels like it has been days in the dreary cold. Finally, he reaches the peak. It is a glorious occasion. On the way down, a huuuuge storm rolls in. He falls down a cliff and breaks both of his legs. The pain is unbearable. He screams and screams but no one hears him. Finally after what seems like days, a group of monks find him and carry him to their monastery. Chapter Two Once the man wakes up he thanks the monks for saving his life. They give him a room, food, and nice clothes. Every night in his room, he hears a banging behind his dresser. It is really loud and he is quite annoyed by it. The next morning he asked the head monk what the noise is. The head monk says " I cannot tell you, you aren't a monk." He hears the banging noise every night. HE asks the head monk every morning but he always says he cant tell him because he isn't a monk. So the climber decides to become a monk. After years and years of training to become a monk, he finally becomes one. Chapter Three So he says to the head monk, " I am a monk, so now can you tell me?" The head monk replies, " I can't tell you, but i can help show you. So he pushes the drawer back and reveals a little door, He gives the man a lantern and says to go through it. The man goes through the door into a little, dark tunnel, eager to finally find out what the noise was. He crawls for what seems like hours and hours and hours and days and days and days and days. He finally gets to the door where the banging noise is and opens the door. What he sees amazes him. Do you want to know what the banging noise was? I cant tel you, you aren't a monk!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says "Is it hot in here?" The other muffin says "Yes. It feels like 425 degrees."

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How does a Chinese person wear a contact lens? On a 45 degree angle

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What comes after 69? Mouthwash

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Yo mamas so fat she is obese

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What happens when you yell at people who have high blood pressure? They might get heart attacks & die.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call Americans Watching Canadians? Hockey

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a black girl scout? A brownie

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worse than finding a worm on your apple? Trench foot on your eyebrow.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the guy lie down? He was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you wake up lady Gaga? You poke her face

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did one bulbasaur say to one squirtle? Well, first off, pokemon are virtual animals created solely for the enjoyment of entertaining japanese children and causing seizure episodes. This fictional creation then migrated to an american tv market, still maintaining their superficial existence while continuing to promote slavery and the use of round balls that capture your problems and propagate winning through random ball throwing. They are fake, and as they are fake, the bulbasaur said "we are fake"

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops