A woman is walking down the street. A midget approaches her and with his keen sense of smell, informs the tall woman of her delicious scent and says, "Ma'am your hair smells lovely, may I please take a closer sniff?" Then woman obliges and the midget is arrested for alleged rape, or as he put it, trying to sniff her vagina.

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what do you get when you cross a baby and a car a baby shaped dent, and a dead baby

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Relax, it simply would not be working out for you if your mother was nearby, you see, the subconcious is limited by the concious mind, so if your subconcious can detect your mother (or anyone but me nearby) your conscious mind goes "uh oh" and it stops. Oh, right, and considering you can still type, how about we increase the effect into... I dunno, six billion? Yeah six billion. Anyway, the next time you want to experience it, just poke your nose, and since we do not want you to poke your nose off, you only do it once and you can yourself decide when it ends, at this level you should not be able to type, but if you want to type you can of course turn it off.

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i like serious. serious means business. business means cash. cash means money. money makes me happy and when i'm happy you dont die

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Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

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Roses are red violets are green i can't rhyme bridge

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far away from its shoulders.

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Knock knock: Who's there? Guy in the doghouse. Guy in the doghouse who? WILL YOU LET ME OUT OF HERE?!?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have the Cadillac, Get the Guns

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everybody loves raymond

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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A Minister a Priest and a Rabi walk into a bar, they are not setting a very good example.

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How do you kill batman? you stab him through the heart

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Who let the dogs out? Their owner because he had come to the rational conclusion that they were cooped up in their cage all night and were in serious need of relieving themselves and needed love and affection

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a man walks into a bar, he tells the bartender "im not a part of this SYSTEM"

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why are there so many peadofiles in the world? sexy kids.

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Women outside of the kitchen.

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How did the black kid pass his exam? He studied.

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Whats better than sitting here writing anti jokes? Sitting in ENGLISH and writing anti jokes. Shoutout to Link Deas

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What do you do if you have a worm in your apple you throw it away

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Two Christians are on their way to church. They stay for prayers and have a lovely lunch.

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What do you get when you cross an own and a bungee cord? My ass

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What did the Macedonian guy say to the Croatian guy? Both of our countries are from the former Yugoslavia.

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Who is the girl that has had sex with over 10 guys? Georgia Hidi

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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