What's the main difference between dogs and children? When children reach their teen years they grow up and leave home. When dogs reach their teen years they die of old age.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Do you know what's sad about 4 black men driving off a cliff in a convertible? They were my friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Fine then, its me Tifa, I am sorry for going against your ideology, I was trying to emulate and copy you, but yeah... Bad thing is that yeah I taught these concepts to a real shitload of people Nero, on the bright side, its not much compared to what you know. Sorry for being all rude, but thirty something? I mean I never seen your face nor even the color of your skin Mr Doctor Doom, but you always struck me as very, very old. I kinda appreciate you calling me the girl with the big red scared eyes, most people call me you know, most people never look me in the eyes, not that I really blame them.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

The banana, the raspberry and the pear arrived to the party, then the carrot and the tomato arrived as well, but when the apple and the orange arrived the banana left... ...This where just getting to fruity...

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: The farmer decided it was too cruel to fence in the animal, however getting run over by a car was a fate... not worse than death because it died.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

I'm on the seafood diet. I eat clams and shrimp because it is healthy for me.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A man walks into a bar Ouch He broke his penis So he ate it Then he saw a little boy They shaved their pubic hair together He raped the little boy He walked into another bar Double ouch

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the man reach for his gun? Because he wanted to kill someone.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's better than winning the Special Olympics? Not being mentally retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Yo mamma so fat, she probably has Type Two Diabetes - which is often associated with obesity - and should seek medical advice.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why did Mary fall off the swing? cuz she had no arms ------------------- knock,knock who's there? not Mary

thumb_up thumb_down -17

When is a door not a door? When it's a pair of titties!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What happened to the fat japanese guy? His house was destroyed by the earthquake.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

When life throws you lemons what should you do? Take cover.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: On a scale of 1 to 10, what is your favorite color of the alphabet? A: Apple

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A man walks into bar. Which is no surprise as he'd been drinking heavily and his spacial awareness was poor at the best of times.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q.How many babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb A.Babies are to young to screw in lightbulbs

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock Knock No solicitors

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Knock Knock Who's there? John John who? John Williams.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? Not enough

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Three jews walk into a bar. The bar is hosting a bar mitzvah.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the blond fall down? She died.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A man walked into a bar. He got a concussion and couldn't see strait for days.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops