How do you stop a bus? Throw small children in front of it. Except it didn't work for the boy with ice cream.

Two Christians are on their way to church. They stay for prayers and have a lovely lunch.

what happend when the little boy went on the rollercoaster ? It crashed.

Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

What's the difference between a large pizza and a Mexican? A large pizza can feed a family.

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? getting your Fallopian tubes ripped out by wolverine

What's so good about being Swiss? Well.... The flag's a big plus

What's worse than a man with AIDS? The fact that this is considered a joke.

Knock knock! Who's there? The police, your entire family has died in a terrible car accident.

A penguin walks into a bakery. The baker asks the penguin: What kind of bread would you like, brown or white? Penguins answers: Well, it doesn't really matter since I drove here.

what is the difference between jelly and jam? jelly is smoother where jam has chunks of fruit in it...... and i cant jelly my penis down your throat

Why do vampires suck blood? Because they re crazy.

What happened to the homeless man at midnight? He took a shit on the ground

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Why are VIOLETS blue?

How many rats does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. But they have to be really small.

Life is confusing. Really how so? He just walked up to me five minutes ago with a pair of socks taped on both sides of his face saying humanity is screwed and ran off after peeing on my carpet.

- Hey, guess how many people are dead in that cemetery? - I don't know. How many? - All of them.

What is a dog's favorite color? Dogs are colorblind and can not see colors.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenia, and don't have any friends

What is Corey Jacobs favorite kind of sandwich? Big Jumbo Kahona Burger!

A duck walks into the bar, buys a beer, steals your woman, wins a bar fight, pistol whips a police officer, departs and shouts Aflac

why did the chicken cross the road? he didnt.. that kinda shit never happens

Knock Knock, Who's Theres? Your dead squashed nan

A Japanese woman walks into a Korean deli, and asks the Korean man if she can buy some groceries. They are able to get past their cultural differences, and share their favorite recipes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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