Why did the Cross chicken the road? Because it wasn't the way to the Lord

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Whats worse than a worm in your apple? -slavery

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What do you do if you find blood in your poo? Stop stabbing yourself in the arse with a fork on wednesdays...

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Who the heck do you think you are?! Ally...duh

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A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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Why did the boy fail his maths test? He had no eyes due to a vicious bear attack earlier that year so couldn't read the questions or study from books resulting in him not being able to complete the task he was given.

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there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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What is worst then falling off a tree....... Falling off a bigger tree

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Whats worse than your camera not working? getting hit by a fridge during the Holocaust

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Dad, they tell me I am a slowpoke at school, what can I do? ... Eh son, this is mommy, your dad died ten years ago remember?

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Why was the baby crying? Because a tree fell on its legs.

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What did the little girl who's parents died in a car accident get you her birthday? Foster Parents

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What do you call a black hitch-hiker? Stranded

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What did the dog say to the other dog? Your breath smells like onions.

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What did Spiderman do when he saw a crime taking place? He stopped it

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How long did it take the world's most powerful democracy to elect a black President? Less than a day.

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WELCOME TO THE SECRET TOWARDS GOING BEYOND YOUR FIFTH SENSE... UNLOCKING YOUR SIXTH SENSE! (redux:Chronoshift extend Xr`d Utrawave edition) 1, Sound 2. sight 3.touch 4.Smell 5.Taste. 6.Balance? :( 7. Pressure :/ 8. Itch :O 9.Thermoception: Ability to sense heat and cold :S 10.Proprioception: This sense gives you the ability to tell where your body parts are. 11.Coordination. :/ 12. Nociception: In a word, pain. This was once thought to simply be the result of overloading other senses, such as “touch”, but this has been found not to be the case and instead, it is its own unique sensory system. There are three distinct types of pain receptors: cutaneous (skin), somatic (bones and joints), and visceral (body organs). Moral Man the Friendly arsonist, motherpounder: I SHALL GLADLY HELP YOU UNLEASH YOUR 12th SENSE TO ITS FULLEST DEGREE!

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3 guys walks into a park. Which one was holding the beer? None, all 3 guys were elementary kids

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what do u call a person who reads anti.jokes a hipster

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Whats the difference between a sack of babies and a sandwich? A Sand which floats when you put it into a large body of water.

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roses are red, no one gives a shit, get back in the kitchen and bring me my chicken dips!

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R.I.P. Steve Jobs

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Your moma is so fat, that Jabba the Hutt says: "Damn!!!"

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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