A man walks into a bar carrying a piece of asphalt under his arm. The bartender says, "We don't serve construction workers here."

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies on fire and a pile of living babies on fire? The dead babies are usually not as loud.

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What's worse than a good anti-joke? A bad anti-joke.

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Why was the blackman fired from his job? Beacuse he was late too many times which was unacceptable.

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Three blonds walk into a bar ... They said ouch!

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-Hey cute blonde! -I'm not blonde.. -Nor are you cute.

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Avery has crabs.

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Whats worse than being fat? Being Rebecca Black

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Why did the owl visit the hospital? His mom was dying of luekemia.

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A high school student finally gets the nerve to ask his long-time crush on a date. They begin dating, and eventually settle down and get married. After six months of marriage, she dies in a car crash and he spends years in therapy.

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Sometimes sentences just don't end the way that you think they potato

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A white man and a black man play a game of basketball, who wins? It depends who's better

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What did the Wife say to her husband about his Erectile Dysfunction? - Im sorry I dont know how to finish a joke based on this private a matter.

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What is red, blue, green, and pink, tie died, and alive? Nothing.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Did you hear about the man who swam to the bottom of the ocean? He drowned

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Why was Johnny so sad His father beat his mother

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What did one penguin-necrophiliac say to another penguin-necrophiliac? Nothing. Penguins cant talk.

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How do you stop a baby from crawling circles? You nail it's other hand to the floor too

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10% of car thieves are left-handed. 80% of chimpanzees are left-handed. Therefore, if your car is stolen, there's an 8% chance a chimpanzee is responsible.

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Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? .

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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