What do andy and Justin Bieber have in common? they are both 5'7

What would you say if you girlfriend got hit by a train? Trick question, trains don't go through kitchens!

Liars go to hell! -God

yo mother is so fat, the recursive function computing her mass causes a stack overflow.

guess wat chicken butt guess why chicken thy guess who chicken poo guess how he chickened out

Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't a Ferrari in my garage

Why should you be concerned if you see a black midget with no arms and no legs falling off a building? He might get hurt.

Q: If a midget walks by a woman stops and says "your hair smells nice today" is it sexual harassment? A: Yes, sexual harassment is a very serious subject and should not be allowed no matter your race, religion, or size.

What did the polar bear say to the penguin? Nothing because polar bears lived in the northern hemisphere and penguins lived in the southern. But if one is smuggled from north to south or vice-versa. The polar would growl and consume the penguin.

69

Why couldn't Cait walk her dog? She's been paralyzed from the waist down since she was 5 after her and her parents got into a car accident and her parents died.

How does it change many dyslexics take to a lightbulb.

What happens when a toad is struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.

Obesity runs in your family. To bad no one runs in your family.

A sphere rolls around the corner and falls over.

Why did the man have a hole in his head? He was shot.

What is the difference between finding a dead black man on the street or a dead dog? There are tire marks in front of the dog.

Shes got a big booty so I call her by her first name, women deserve respect.

How do dogs mark their territory? With legal documents.

Chuck Norris was once engaged by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

What did the deaf, dumb, blind, parapalegic kid get for Christmas? Cancer

Tony Romo

A duck walks into a bar. A horse walks into a bar. A cow walks into a bar. A bear walks into a bar. The owner tells them to get out, but they can't understand humans. So they just stayed there.

A: Who keeps knocking on the wall? B: My neighbors have sex a lot. A: We should knock back.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...