A man walks into a bar, he begins drinking and returns home visably drunk. His family disowns him as he is a recovering alchoholic who was three months sober.

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why cant stephen hawking dance He does not enjoy dancing

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I saw a "Baby on Board" bumper sticker on a car TARGET AQUIRED

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Sir, your wife has been killed. Please open the door so that we may discuss this matter. The man then opens the door and listens to the tale of how a disgruntled worker opened fire in a grocery store, killing 13 people including his wife. Unable to cope with this and the fact both his parents passed away earlier that year he later hangs himself soon after the police leave.

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A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

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I like my women like I like my coffee... 2 cream 1 sugar.

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What did Frankenstein say to Dracula? Hey, that's a nice cape.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he clearly has an owner that doesn't fence him in.

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Why did the chicken cross the street? He wanted to make breakfast

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Whats 10-5(45+76)? please help my homework is due next class and i am currently to busy worrying about my dad's cancer to think about this problem.

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If a hen lays an egg in the middle of a roof, which way would it fall? To the east, as there was a brisk wind in that direction.

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Why do guys like Halloween? Martin Luther posted the 95 theses in 1517 on this day.

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What's worse than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit. What's worse than a dead baby in a clown suit? Ten dead babies in a trash-can. What's worse than ten dead babies in a trash-can? One dead babie in ten trash-cans.

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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Trashcan!

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Why is this the best day of 10 year old Johnny's life? His parents were killed in 9/11, and Osama Bin Laden has been found and killed. What, Too soon?

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i suck at poetry, show me your tits!

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A man walks into a bar and the barenter says, "What'll it be?" The man says, "I'll take a Bud Light."

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Racism is like black people... It should not exists...

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How do you talk to a mentally challenged person? You use words in a sequential order that would make sense grammatically

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A man accidentally forgets his daughter at a Sizzler

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Whats blue, fuzzy and has little red dots all over? Beats me...

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What is the same between a turtle and an eagle? They both fly, apart from the turtle.

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Q: What game will Helen Keller always win? A: Marco Polo. She is a fast swimmer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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