Me: Hey mom Mom: Hey Son Me: Whats? for dinner? Mom: I dont know

thumb_up thumb_down -19

one fish two fish red fish kill the fish

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's the difference between a black man and and a bag of crap? A lot, but mostly the bag

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How do I become successful like you dad? Just do good.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's 9+10=? 19

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse says "I have cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down +397

Why did the bird fall out of the sky? It had no wings.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

In the movie Sherlock holms, why is Sherlock Holms gay?? --------------Because he is chasing "blackwood"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the vibrator say to the condom? Watch, I'll get laid before you do!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

knock knock whos there? andy andy who? andy gold hi come in

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Me John Kasich! Me win Ohio primary!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Two men stay at the bar all night drinking non stop. They soon are rushed to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the boy with cancer, no arms, and no legs get for his birthday? Nothing he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How many dead hookers can you fit in a trunk? Five

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Ask me if im a tree. Are you a tree? No

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man climbs a tree, falls, and breaks his legs. He will never walk again

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: What did the homless man get for chritsmas? A: Frostbite

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Who in Tyrone's black family gave him presents on christmas? Not his dad.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is worse that a bee sting? 2 bee stings what is worse that 2 bee sting? Kony what is wose than Kony? 3 bee stings what is worse than 3 bee sting? being allergic to bee stings

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do grass and deer have in common? They're both green I lied about the deer

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Sosiopath vs How I met your mother: BABABABABA BABABA RARARA LALALA ETC YOU GOT THE DRILL Kids, this is how I met your mother. I saw her at some store, I said "Hey sexy" She told me to fuck off, so I raped her, got out of prison years later, and kids, that is how I met your mother. ...Why I am leaving? Did I ever fucking say I was your father? I Just came here to tell you I raped and killed her after serving my time which was about 2 minutes, so kids, that is how I killed your mother. YOU ARE WELCOME BY THE WAY!Ungrateful kids. Moral of the story: If they are your kids, just say no and get away, and kill Robin for better television. Sociopath vs Grounded for life Moral: Shot the little kid, nobody will notice, not even his own family.Heck if you look at episode 34 you can see a tall handsome dude choking the life of a little boy in the background, and then letting him go just before he passes out and chokes him again? FUN FOR HOURS!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what did the white guy say to the black guy? nothing because hes racist and hates blacks people

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops