Q: What's the quickest way to a woman's heart? A: Through her ribcage.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Whats worse than a pile of dead baby's? Being raped by a giant scorpion. Well that escalated quickly. Also i'm gonna call the cops.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

if a fat man in a red suit puts you in a bag at night. its not santa your getting raped

thumb_up thumb_down +4

If John has 32 candy bars and he eats 28, whAt does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Fuzzy-wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy-wuzzy had no hair, Fuzzy-wuzzy died of cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

your momma's so fat i almost didn't have sex with her.... almost.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do Helen Keller and Beethoven have in common? They both died wondering what the hell their last words were.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I hate Mondays, the man said as he drove to work. Fortunately for him, it was a Wednesday.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was the little boy crying? Because a stranger shoved explosives up his butthole.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What starts with N, ends with R, and is a black guy? NeighboR!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Have you ever seen Ethiopian food? No, neither have Ethiopians.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

why did the cow eat the seahorse/ because my shift keys are broken1

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why cant the porcupine marry the balloon? ...neither one can talk.. obviously.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the White guy wanna be Black? He liked basketball.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the boy go back in time? He didn't. He was mutilated by rabid apes.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What is Obamas favorite book? I don't know, ask him.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Three men are all in a car park and they all want the same parking spot. As it turns out, it was a trolley bay

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock-Knock Whos there? You're about to get shell shocked...

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are red Violets are blue There's nothing else I want to say

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Seven people walk into the same bar, like a solid pole. Ouch!

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why was the unemployed dolphin trainer so sad? His life has no purpoise. In an unrelated topic, how is he unemployed id he is a dolphin trainer?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why do people copy other people's anti-jokes? because they don't have a life nor an imagination. P.S. if this gets a lot of thumbs ups, expect another one soon from one of those people who copy others anti-jokes...

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops