What did the guy say before he learned how to Dougie? Teach me how to Dougie

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How many fingers am i holding up? none, my hand got blown off in Vietnam

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A man walks into a bar and at the bar he sees this guy with a blue head. He asks the man with the blue head if he can buy him a drink. The man with the blue head says "sure... you want to know about the blue head don't you?" "Yes i do" "Okay it all starts with a genie, he gave me 3 wishes, the first wish was to have a beautiful wife and a house to put her in, the second wish was for a ton of money, and the third wish was for a blue head."

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An anteatter walks into a bar, the bar tender says "hey renee zellweger"

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Is it a bird, Is it a plane, I don't know what it is but it's heading straight for the World Trade Centre

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14

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How do you drown a blond? By being an insane murderer!

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Knock knock What

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mark is religion

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How do you find out if your son is ok? Ask him.

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So, there's three blondes. Two of them walk into a bar. The third one missed it.

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What do you call a guy with an axe in his head? Chuck

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r Dbags n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

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Whats Mary short for? Shes got no legs

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Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish.........That's a government lake. You're under arrest.

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whats worse than a worm in a rotten apple? 2 worms in a rotten apple. whats worse than 2 worms in a rotten apple? 3 worms in a rotten apple. whats worse than 3 worms in a rotten apple? the haulocaust. whats worse than the haulocaust? 4 worms in a rotten apple. wait wait...that was rascist,nevermind this joke.

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What's worse than 100 dead babies stapled to a wall? 100 live babies stapled to the wall!!!

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This isn't funny.

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How do you kill Chuck Norris. Shoot him in the face

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A; On the other side was another beautiful looking chicken who he plans to marry and raise a family with.

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Why did somebody text "lol"? Because they laughed out loud.

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Why did the baby cross the road? cause it was stapled to the chicken.

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Q: What does a baby and an old man have in common? A: They both pee in public

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What did little John get for his birthday? No sort of disease or illness of any kind because he was in perfect health. He also got an Xbox.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops