Why was the little boy sad? Cause his mum died of a terminal illness. Why was the little girl sad? Cause she was his sibling.

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Why did the tomato fall off the swing? Because tomatoes don't have arms.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Little Tommie is dead In a body bag Going to the dumpster Behind my house

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What did the man screem before he crashed his car? i dont know, he died.

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My dad is lactose intolerant. He shouldn't eat cheese.

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When life gives you lemons, you go to a therapist and seek help because your dementia has progressed to the point that you are seeing and feeling illusions.

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What did the clock say to the book? I have no batteries.

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This is a joke setup.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? He said "Get in the car".

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Whats blue, flies with wings, weights over two tons, and has a rocket engine with six eyeballs? *hayball rolls* Moral: Im the one asking you...

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Why did the car stop? It ran out of gas.

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Your momas so fat her doctor put her on a diet plan.

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A cow and a whale are swimming in the sea when they both realize this is Vietnam and they were really chimps

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What is worse then North Korea trying to blow up everybody? Peter Griffin twerking.

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Want to hear a joke? Me to...

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what do you call a fish with no gills? Dead

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a duck, a mexican, a camel, a jew, a duck, a moose, an asian, an ostrich, a turtle, an elephant, a scorpion, two vampires, a pokemon, your mom, Stephen Hawkings, a bird, a plane, mario, your family, and a plumber walk into a bar. They have cancer, AIDS, disabilties, diabetes, herpes, siezures, retardation, death in their families, drug addiction, no arms or legs, no home, no money, racial segregation, and have been raped. A combination of which is worse than the holocaust and three bee stings and a rope that fails.

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What do you call a black man who is poor, homeless, and HIV positive? Unlucky.

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What do you call it when you almost win? You lose.

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How do you tell if an alien had been in your house? All your lightbulbs are gone and your fridge is pregnant.

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How do you stop the unstoppable You dont

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Yo mama's so fat, we are all extremely concerned for her health.

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says: both your legs are broken in 10 places, you will never walk again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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