how long is a peice of string howeverlong you want to make it

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Why can't you fit 100 oranges in a bathtub? Because motorcycles don't have doors

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what's worse then droping your phone. 9/11 having sex with the holocaust

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Q: Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? A: Because she was a woman.

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What did the Zen Buddhist say in the hamburger store? He said, "Make me one with everything."

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Rub-a-dub-dub three men in a tub, and one was Sandusky.

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why did the woman get electricuted? because there was an electric fence around the kitchen.

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How long does it take to microwave a baby? I don't know, I was to busy masterbating. GBW

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill all his friends and family.

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Why did Sheryl Go to the Bathroom? Cause she had Direha...........

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Knock, knock! Who's there? No one. No one actually knocked on your door because this is just a joke.

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Roses are gray Violets are gray ROFL I'm a dog

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i had sex i stuck my dick into your mouth

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How do you get a single-armed monkey down from a tree? Wave.

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What did the grape do when it got stepped on? Released some juice and burst its skin.

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When does the narwhal bacon? When the universe looses its realism to the point where every animals' meat is bacon at a certain time, and a person hunts a narwhal at the crack of dawn when there is a triple rainbow and the narwhal's DNA is combined with a pig's just long enough for the meat to be bacon when the person shoots it.

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"You know what sucks?" "vaccuums?" "you know what meteforically sucks?" "Black holes?" "you what just isn't cool?" "Lava?"

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Two friends are arguing over who is the best pie maker. '' I've made pumpkin, apple, peach, cherry, blueberry, and sweet potato!" " Yeah well I've made all of those AND pecan!'' ''Yeah well have you ever made boysenberry pie?!" "No! What the hell!" *in a calm tone* " Yeah, me neither."

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a horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?", the horse incapable of understanding the English language promptly shits on the floor and eats a bar stool.

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What did dean carmon say to his brother? - I don't know I'm not his brother

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so if your riding down a big hill in your canoe and your bicycle falls out how many pancakes do you have left? you would have 200 pancakes left --sticksack

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Q: why'd the monkey fall out of the tree A: because it was dead

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A man walks into a bar. Three weeks later he gets a liver transplant.

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for christmas? Cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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