A black man and a white man walk into a bar, "what will it be" said the bartender. Milk, chocolate milk.

This blind man read my mind the other day. I swear, it's like he has a 5th sense!

Why did the woman go out of the kitchen? She did not because she had a curse put on by a man off the streets of Greek row a Yale that said u may never leave the closest kitchen near this very spot, and it turns out that the closest kitchen was in a frat house across the street so now she is stuck in the kitchen making sandwiches for all the frat bros at this Yale frat house, So basically she was in her place

A man walks into a bar and see's a 12 inch pianoist. He walks to the bar tendar and asks "Where'd you get it" The bar tendar says we have a genie in the back. So the man walks back the and wishes for 12 million BUCKS , The genie gives him 12 million DUCKS, The man walks back out and said " I asked for 12 million BUCKS not 12 million DUCKS and the bar tendar says do you really think i asked for a 12 inch pianoist?

How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

why didnt the llama eat the string bean? Becuz he was a vegetarian

What did the man say to his wife? We are both men. Apart from you.

what do you do when you see a black man limping across your frontyard? you stop laughing an reload.

Straight men can be bronies.

what do u tell a woman who has two black eyes? nothing, somebody already told her twice.

I got on a bus, and immediately found that sitting on a bus is boring. I will never climb on top of a bus again.

How much does a fat penguin weigh? 45 kilograms.

What do you call a man which busts ghosts A ghostbuster. Duh

So,a guy walks up to his friends at the bar and try's to to talk to them,the friends start being rasist ,so the first guy says 'wo guys stop going in that direction ,that one direction

Why are there so many black basketball players? Because they aren't green.

Why the guy without two hands at the beach was so excited? Because he couldn't scratch his asshole.

The first few weeks of joining weight-watchers...you're just finding your feet.

Why did Susie fall off the swingset? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

I once went seven years without sex, then I turned eight and my uncle raped me.

A woman is on an escalator, which stops, then she cries. Why? The escalator is in a hospital and stops because the power has failed. She was going to visit her husband who is on life support, which has now but out.

Two Chavs jump off a clift who wins? Neither the sport of Tomb stoning is considered non competitive much like jogging

What did the black man watch basketball instead of Tennis? Because Basketball is a very popular sport to African Americans, and tests show they can just higher than Caucasians, Asians and Hispanics.

Why did the gorilla have big nostrils? Because it was a trait passed on to him from his biological father.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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