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Roses are red.........I slept with someone else

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Why did the leprechaun cross the road? If you still believe in leprechauns, you need to see a doctor.

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Did you hear about the monkey in the tree? Oh no wait. It was a lizard.

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JOHN to MARY: Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet So are you MARY to JOHN: Roses are red Violets are blue Who are you? JOHN to MARY: Roses are red I'm your husband MARY to JOHN: No! JOHN to MARY: WHAT??? MARY to JOHN: Ex Awkward silence. Mary moves out the next day.

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Knock knock. "Who's there?" I am deaf. "I am deaf who?" What?

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, he can't come anyway.

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Why didnt the chicken cross the road? He was chicken.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones because I have osteoporosis

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A dog, a cat, and a a fish were having a conversation while their owners were away. Ashton Kutcher is a murderer.

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your mommy so gehto shes black

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A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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Dogs

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A man walked into a bar making it immediately apparent that he had no future in competitive limbo.

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How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died

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my aunt Always used to say"go with the flow" she died in a kayak accident last Sunday

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ROSES ARE RED VILOIT ARE BLUE MY NAME IS MISIMOA AND I SMELL LIKE POO

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Whats worse than tripping? Getting shot

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Do you know whats funny to say to someone unless they're black. Your ma's in jail.

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Yo momma so fat she's obese.

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Robocop The Reboot reboot. Watch as The friendly robot named Murphy, is violently broken down by a horrible shower of water, the only means to save him is to transfer his data into a human. He awakens again as Robofriendlydude (starring Adam Sandler) as a robot learns to love, learns to share, learns to dance with children in this years Reboot of the classic love comedy Robocop. PG-3 "So good I could only watch five seconds of it" Rotten potatoes. 99 percent fresh. "Kill me with a chainsaw" Honest reviews. "AWESOME!" Dishonest reviews "Makes Twilight seem like the better lovestory" Everyone.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We've just had sex, Now you have aids too....

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what to call someone thats gay zak

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzie

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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