A horse walks into a bar The bartender says "Why the long face?" Unable to under stand English the horse shits on the floor and leaves

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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as i unscrewed my belly button and suddenly my butt fell off

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A man laughs creepily and another man asks him what he's doing he says I have a creepy laugh so the man asks him why he was laughing the man says there's a boy over there that has a frog stapled to his face!!!!!!!!!

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How do you kill a blond? Stab her repeatedly in her throat

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What's a computer without Internet? A computer.

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Mel Gibson and a Jew walk into a bar They proceed to have a pleasant conversation and both take taxis home

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What's worse than finding an apple in your wo- wait, what?!

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You know those people that learned the true name of God, as God asked kindly... ...Well you know God can be nice sometimes but he actually COMMANDED they keep his name secret forever? They became the first people known as Jehova`s witnesses... JEHOVAH<<< SECRET NAME ANYBODY? So much for keeping his secret name guys! They claim that only a few thousand humans will ascend to heaven, in other words all of the JEHOVA`s witnesses... All two billions of them or something... For keeping his name (Cough JEHOVAH) secret. SUCCESS!

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Vagina cream... end of story

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"Why can't you hear pterodactyl when it goes to the bathroom?" "Because the pee is silent?" "No, because they are dead, you idiot."

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Boo Radley, I live next door.

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Two apples are hanging from a tree. They are both picked, sold, taken home, washed, and enjoyed by a family of three.

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why did they make a new iphone? because individuals like to be connected to local and world wide media so they can stay in touch with all news, friends and family.

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why did the man beat his wife? why not?

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What did Hitler say to his men before they got in the tanks? Get in the tanks

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Why do black people have the whitest teeth? Because they brush regularly.

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What did the gay logger do to the tree with a hole in it? Cut it down.

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Why didn't Jimmy ever get his butt of the couch? His butt was nailed to it and he was also dead. Why didn't his parents save him? they died before he did.

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "Can I have... ...a beer." The bartender asks, "What's with the large pause?" To which the bear replies, "I have... ...a speech impediment."

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What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's green and shitty? A bootleg stick.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because numbers, like people, are afraid of all things bigger than themselves

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Wanna hear a dead baby joke? Brittany Spears is pregnant

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su algato es en fuego

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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