woman..parallel parking

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did Billy Mays eat for breakfast? nothing, he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why was young Ferdinand sad? He had a very rough day. In the morning he woke up. To find a man in his room, and then the man raped him. Then, Ferdinand found out that his whole family was killed by an angry rat. Then, he realized his grandma took away all his Christmas presents and ate them. Then, the angry rat showed up and brutally murdered Ferdinand and ate him. The rat then burped up Ferdinand and his family's bones, and on Ferdinand's bone there was something wrong, indicating that Ferdinand had cancer and would've died the next day anyway. The rat then got cancer from Ferdinand, and it died. That is why Ferdinand was sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +6

If gluttony is a serious sin, why are so many Christians fat? Because they have bad eating habits.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Dogs in my home.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What goes up a hill with four legs and comes down the hill with five? A creepy animal that grows legs when it goes down hills.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What does Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na equal? A lot of sodium

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Elmer: "Wabbit Season" Buggs: "Duck Season" Elmer: "Wabbit Season" Buggs: "Duck Season" Elmer: "Wabbit Season" Buggs: "Wabbit Season" Elmer: Bang

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was this German dude's water bill so high this month? Because there were thirty dead Jews in his shower. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are red Violets are blue You don't want to be my valintine I'm going to shoot myself.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Two gophers are in a tank One of them says how the heck do you drive this thing?

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Someone asked me yesterday why my friend Portier is named after a sports car... I mean, fair enough, it is a common misconception but they live in the country and her Dad drives a tractor; think it through. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A new born baby is left alone in his crib after a long day of playing, He gets taken out of his crib for his first meal with his grandparents, he is excited, His grandparents come in and after the usual praising of the child they sit down for dinner, They are having chicken, His mother puts the spoon to his mouth, He chews it and swallows it, It gets stuck in his throat and he suffocates and dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

So a man rapes a little girl but rips her eyes out before he does it. In court he said the appropriate thing about this was that she could not see it cuming.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

knock knock ... no one was in

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did Roadrunner name his car? Turbo Tax.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did little jimmy get for Christmas? A box containing the malevolent soul of a 10,000 year-old demon determined to torment his cat.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

After a long day on the movie set, Lindsay Lohan decides to go out to a bar. She gets really drunk and high on drugs and some guy takes her back to her trailer and stuffs her muffin.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Dave:Hi Mark:Hi

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A group of Germans eagerly await the FIFA football rankings. England is fourth.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What does an emu an a kiwi have in common? Both are flightless birds endemic to there own countries.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

poo is yummy

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops