- Anti Joke

Your mom is absolutely pefect. This makes me love HIM.

Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius!

A man sees Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles and tells his friends about the incident. They believe the story, because it is entirely plausible that it actually happened.

what did eric foreman get for christmas? a foot in his ass.

Q: What did the diddler say to the little boy? A: Can i touch you inappropriately?

What do you call a cat up a tree in a party hat? A cat up a tree with a party hat

Q: What is scarier than the boogie man? A: Herpes

Why did John get hard? He froze to death

What did the aliens say when they first landed on planet Earth? We've come back for Anthony Davis.

Why was the little girl blowing bubbles in the swimming pool? Because she was drowning

Q) How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? A)You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved. Q) Did you hear about the two guys who wanted to go to Paris? A) They didn't go! Q) Why did the boy throw his Television out the window? A) Cause it was completely broken. Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange. Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Red paint. Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing Q) How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? A)You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved. Q) Did you hear about the two guys who wanted to go to Paris? A) They didn't go! Q) Why did the boy throw his Television out the window? A) Cause it was completely broken. Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange. Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Red paint. Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing Q) How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? A)You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved. Q) Did you hear about the two guys who wanted to go to Paris? A) They didn't go! Q) Why did the boy throw his Television out the window? A) Cause it was completely broken. Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange. Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Red paint. Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing Q) How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? A)You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved. Q) Did you hear about the two guys who wanted to go to Paris? A) They didn't go! Q) Why did the boy throw his Television out the window? A) Cause it was completely broken. Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange. Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Red paint. Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

Q: What do you call a black pilot? A: A pilot, you racist

Why didn't the gangster cross the road? Because he J-walked and was hit by a car.

Jesse ziggenfat hates his life. He's really obese. Just like his mom...and his sister...and his brother.....and his dad.... And his dog? Bacon?

whats the best thing about fukkin twentyone year olds...theres twenty of them

Two frogs go to the bar only to leave because frogs can't open up doors.

Question: What did one lesbian say to the other lesbian at the grocery store? Answer: Will that be paper or plastic?

guess how...chicken pow! guess who...chicken poo! guess when...chicken pen! guess where...chicken hair! guess what...your adopted.

A horse walked into a bar. The bartender said "why the long face?" The horse then panicked, and feeling threatened, it kicked the bartender with its hind legs and galloped out of the bar. A civilian took immediate control of the situation and dialed the number for animal control, who arrived shortly and tranquilized the deer and put it back in its natural habitat. Don't worry, that didn't actually happen

What do you do with a dog that has no legs? Take him to the vet and have him put to sleep, it's the only humane thing to do.

Three aliens land in the middle of New York City. There is a huge media story about the first extraterrestrial life to be discovered on Earth.

Person A: Knock Knock Person B: Who's there? Person A: It's the police, we have a warrant for your arrest. Open the door. Person B: It's the police, we have a warrant for your arrest, open the door wh-- Suddenly the door is smashed open. Tear gas grenades are rolled in, temporarily blinding Person B. He is then dragged out of his apartment by nine federal agents who proceed to beat him and throw him into the back of an FBI van.

Do you know what's fun about having sex with twenty-seven year-olds? There are twenty of them.

What's green and says I'm a frog? A talking frog

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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