Girls go to college to get more knowledge. Boys go to Jupiter because they're already smart enough to achieve interplanetary space travel.

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What did the dad do immediately do after his child died? Cleaned off the knife.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, In Soviet Russia, Poem writes you.

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woman's rights

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A man walks into a bar. Wait, no, it was a horse. A man walks into a horse

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Whats green and gets you really high? A green airplane

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Whats pink red and silver? A baby chewing on reason blades. Whats pink red silver and smells bad? Same baby two weeks later.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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this anti joke will likely be the most liked one out of all the anti jokes.

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A: Don't hit those black people!!!!! B: Those are trash cans.

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What rhymes with you? You.

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So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down, and orders a drink. After giving the pirate a drink, the bartender looks down and notices that there is a steering wheel on the pirate's penis. "Sir, are you aware that there is a steering wheel on your penis?" The bartender asked. "Arrrrrrr, it's driving me crazy!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon," said the bartender, "It looks very uncomfortable and could be dangerous to your health...not to mention your penis is out in the open." "Yes, you are probably right," the pirate agreed. He proceeded to get a ride from a friend to the nearest hospital, for drinking and driving can be dangerous, and steering wheels on penises are not safe.

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The kid next door was running around shouting spells and carrying a wand. ''I bet you'd love to be like Harry Potter!'' I told him. ''Yes!'' he exclaimed. So I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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What did the bartender say to the midget as he entered the bar? Nothing besides attempting to serve him in the same manner as any other reveller whilst attempting to disguise his sense of pity for the midget's debilitating and somewhat stigmatised condition.

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Knock Knock! Who's there?! Michelle Bachman.

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Your momma's so fat, that her doctor recommends that she exercises regularly and sticks to a healthier diet that includes foods with nutritional value.

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How much is that doggie in the window? $4.95 + Shipping&Handling

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Hey man how was the trip to Hiroshima? Great it blew my mind!! And how was Nagasaki ? It was the bomb!!

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Q) What's worse than getting dumped by text? A) Getting hit by a fridge.

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What is white, black, and red all over? A: A zebra being slaughtered.

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your mama so old, shes dead.

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7am, waking up in the morning Gotta be fresh, gotta go downstairs Gotta have my bowl, gotta have cereal Seein’ everything, the time is goin’ Tickin’ on and on, everybody’s rushin’ Gotta get down to the bus stop Gotta catch my bus, I see my friends (My friends) Kickin’ in the front seat Sittin’ in the back seat Gotta make my mind up Which seat can I take? It’s Friday, Friday Gotta get down on Friday REBECCA BLACK FTW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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I used to know what alzheimers was

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Your momma is so ugly she gave freedy krooger nightmares!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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