why did the goose lay an egg? because it was pregnant .

a guy walks into another tall man knowing that he has something weird in his mouth. he pulls out a fly, apologizes for running into him and promptly walks to his small appartment to brush his teeth. the next day a fridge hits him in the face and he spontaneously combusts. he was never seen again.

What's a pirates favorite element the periodic table? Gold.

roses are cows violets are oranges im mental are you too

Then what's your favorite team little white guy?

Land Rovers

That was slightly painful. I would appreciate it if you would stop such actions in the future

Q. What do you call a black priest? A. Holy Shit

A man walks into a bar. He gets drunk, goes home, and beats his wife and kids.

After a long romantic date with my girl friend I went home. Upon walking to my bathroom for a dootie i realize that I'm gay. So I break up with my girl friend and I am now in a wonderful relationship with Jose, He sell's sea shells at discount prices.

in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

A man stepped on a nail. He died shortly after of lockjaw.

What do you call a man with ADHD ? A man with ADHD.

ejaculation JLR

Q: Why didn't the man give money to the homeless person on the sidewalk? A: Because he thought that he was faking it. Two days later the homeless person died in an alleyway from starvation. Nobody was there to witness it, and the body was never found.

A small child and a pedophile are walking hand-in-hand through the dark, creaky woods. "Mister," says the small child, " I'm scared." "YOU'RE scared?" says the pedophile. "I'M the one who's gonna have to walk back alone!"

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who gives a crap?

How do you get a dead baby out of a blender? Doritos.

If I could change one thing about the alphabet, knd stte bporw xzuor flllle !

How do you get a clown off of a swing? You throw an axe at its face.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them

* two sisters are making yo mam jokes* * mom turns around* mom: Hey yo mama so stupid ... sister one: ummmm.... sister two: sure thats not you?

Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

Q: Why did the baby cross the road A: He was stapled to the chicken

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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