a man and his son pull up out side b&q and the man says to his son run in there and get me a black n decker and the boy goes in and is standing in the power tools isle and he looks round and there is a lady standing next to him so he hit her, the woman happened to be black and 2 minutes later a security guard rushes round and says son what did u do that for and the son said my dad told me to come in and get a black n decker!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a muslim in an airplane? Whatever his name may be, though you could, of course, choose not to address him, though if it were a two-seater plane, it would be good manners to exchange polite conversation.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

The philosophy professor decided to isolate himself in his closet until he figured out the meaning of life. After ten years, he had done it. He came out of isolation and immediately found one of his former colleagues on campus. He said, "I've discovered the meaning of life!" The colleague said, "Ok, what is it?" The professor said, "Life is like a bridge." The colleague said, "How so?" After a few moments, the professor nodded and said, "Yea, I guess you're right."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why didn't Jesus like Pizza? Because Pizza doesn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why do the children cry at dinner time? Becuase there mother forces them to eat her own faeces and takes pictures of them doing it and posts it on the internet.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the parents tell their adopted son to go to bed? He was awake long after he should've been, according to the rules in their household.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did Big Dog say to Little Dog? "We are both dogs."

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: what's white on the top and black on the bottom? A: Society

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Yo mama's so fat that when she went to go get an x-ray, they had to use the one they have at the zoo.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

WALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXT

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: What did the cop say to the deaf man? A: Nothing worth hearing about.

thumb_up thumb_down -134

What's the differrence between a park bench and a black person... A park bench can support a family

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the car slow down? Becuase the driver pressed the break

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Friends are like trampolines, I always wanted a trampoline

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many babies could a cannibal eat? 132/267 of a baby

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did Justin Bieber bieber his bieber? Because Bieber biebers his bieber when his bieber need a bieber bieber. BIEBER

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Q: Did you hear about the fire at the circus? A: It was in tents!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's 9+10? 19

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

That moment when you try and finger your girlfriend and there no hole......and you start questioning your sexuality

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Chuck Norris doesn't just have a chin underneath his beard. He also has part of his neck underneath his beard.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops