What's the difference between a leopard and a jaguar ? The rabbit flies faster, while the pigeon can breathe underwater.

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What did John name his dog? Doggy

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Hey have you seen Stevie wonders house? No? Don't worry he has'nt either.

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So this guy drunk guy pokes this girl. 4 months later the girl has a misscarrage.

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A Mexican walks into an all white people bar. He then proceeds to buy rounds for everyone in the bar. Everyone thanks the mexican and everyone gets back to doing their own thing.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? The Mexican blind cave tetra (Astyanax mexicanus).

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A dermatologist walks into a strip club. He tells the stripper she has hives on her back and that she needs to go to a clinic, then gets up from his lap dance and reports her to management.

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What hurts more than a papercut? A chainsaw between your legs.

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How many different ways can you kill a cat? 27, unless you live in Russia then it's 28

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You're so retarded that people make fun of you and you laugh with them because you don't understand and just want some friends.

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Two Canadian men are sitting in a room. Man 1: Do you know what happens when you shoot a wolverine? Man 2: No. Man 1: It absorbs the bullets, duh. The second man proceeds to go outside with a gun. He returns in a few minutes. Man 1: What did you do with that gun? Man 2: I shot a wolverine. Man 1: What happened? Man 2: It fell over and died. I think you watch too much X-Men.

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why did the baseball player strike out? he forgot the bat

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What did the judge say to the midget when he sent him to jail ? Stop beating your wife

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Q: What do you call a plane with no wings? A: An unfinished plane.

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What do black people eat? Food.

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Where else? The junk yard

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Why didn't the millionaire jump off the Golden Gate Bridge? He said "I don't have to commit suicide, that's for poor people" (Wyndellberg)

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Little Jack Horner sat in a corner eating a Christmas pie. He died the next morning because it was Easter and the pie had remained unrefrigerated since the holidays. His parents were brought up on charges of neglegent homocide. Plus, they had a meth lab in the guest bathroom and ran a prostituion ring off of Craig's list. Jack's sister is now in the care of loving foster parents,who plan on adopting her and she misses her brother. Easter is a sad reminder of her former life, even though she is now a devout Christian and acknowledges the day as that of our Lord's ressurection. She plans on going to college to study nursing, someday.

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whats black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white? a penguin rolling down the hill. what black and white and laughing? the penguin that pushed him.

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What do you call a black man with a small penis? Aids free

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What do you call a book of notes? A notebook.

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YOLO

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Why did Jesus cross the road? He didn't. He's dead.

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Hey Lamar, guess what. No Oh ok haha Otarts was here

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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