rosses are red violets are blue poems are hard alligator

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What did the blond say to the other blond? "I like your shoes."

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Q: My mom's getting really old and It's starting to get hard to shop for her. Any ideas? A: You should get her a coffin.

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obama

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You know what's annoying When you suddenly die of a heart attack

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Q: what white hard and huge and it can kill you if you fall out of a tree? A: a refrigerator

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So I'm balls deep in this 9 year old...

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Why didn't the mexican make the basketball team? He had never practiced and was overweight

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? I don't keep a Ferrari in my garage. (????)?

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday just dance 3

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How many jews can you fit in a car? That depends on the volume of the car and the size of the people involved - different cars are of different sizes and can fit a different number of people. For instance, you could probably fit more than 20 midget jews in a van but you could probably not fit as many overweight jews in a coupé. However if you put some effort into getting as many standard sized people, in this case jews for reasons unknown, into a standard size sedan you should be able to fit about seven or eight in the car itself and one in the trunk, making a total of nine or ten.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

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What's harder than killing a baby? My penis while doing it. by: Lucky7 LG

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I would piss if alex berry had aids n died

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A Redhead, a Blonde, and a Brunette are all standing on top of a cliff in Ireland. They took a few pictures, and all in all it was a lovely vacation.

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What can't catch or throw? A Quadriplegic

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A Muslim, a Jew, and a Christian find a magical lamp with a genie inside. He offers each of them one wish. The Muslim wishes that people didn't look at his people as terrorists. The Jew wishes that the Holocaust never happened, and the Christian wishes for world peace. Actually this didn't happen, Genies don't exist.

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A blonde walks into a store and tells the clerk "I'd like to buy that microwave". The clerk says "we don't sell things to blondes.". The blonde comes in the shop the next day with a brown wig on and says "I'd like to buy that microwave". The clerk says "we don't sell things to blondes". The blonde asks how he knew she was a blonde. The clerk replies, "I can see flyaway strands of your hair from the top of your wig and the synthetic hair material of the wig is not convincing.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A zebra that's just been shot, despite the fact that zebra hunting is illegal.

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There are 3 people in a car, shit, manners, and asshole. They are driving and shit falls out. They pull over and manners gets out to help shit. Then a cop comes and pulls them over. The cop ask asshole what his name is. He said asshole. The cop said what. Then asshole said asshole. Then the cop says where are your manners. Asshole said over their picking up shit.

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: a pizza is a food that was created in italy and is regularly eaten daily around the world and a jew is a religion that is constantly criticized and made fun of because they are different.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because skeletons cannot live on their own and there is no such thing as a skeleton that can walk across roads without muscles.

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what did the blind man say as he past the fish market? he asked one of the fisherman if they had any fresh catch that day and bout three tuna steaks for his wife and son

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Why did Stephen hawking walk into A bar? He didn't. This situation is impossible considering the fact that he suffers from a horrible condition causing terrible muscular paralysis preventing him from walking.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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