A man walks into a bar. Ow

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Twenty-Four

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roses are red, violets are blue, fudge is sweet, heres some fudge.

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I'll give you a nickel to lick my pickle, a dime to take your time and a quarter if I can f*ck you in the ass

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A fish walked into a bar. Actually it didn't, since fish can't walk.

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Q. What's the difference between a movie star and a manikin? A. Nothing.

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Haikus usually make sense, but sometimes they don't refrigerator.

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Why did the Muslim enter the bar? He didn't.

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What did the prisoner say to the other prisoner? I am going to anally rape you.

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How many jews can you put in a four seat car? two in the front two in the back.

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a black guy walks into a park with a group of five other black guys. they then proceed to have a nice picnik and play frisbee with a little white boy.

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whats worse than loseing your dog? getting raped by a clown.

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Why didn't the Jew laugh at the joke concerning his familial genealogy in relation to WW2? He had orofacial paralysis and was therefore physically incapable of expressing joy through the means of his mouth

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Just because you do not see the joke, it does`t mean its not here... Ps: It helps us get hookers and beers while wasting your "valuable time" OMG PLEASE BE FUCKING UNDERSTANDING OHMYLAWD!!!!!!!!! Ps: Cry harder you greedy sons of shedogs

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half of a worm in your apple. What's worse than finding half of a worm in your apple? Getting aids from that apple.

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What would have happend if martin Luther king was white? I don't know he wasn't so it's irrelevant

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What's samller than a table but can't go under it? A baby with hay fork in his back.

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I once had a friend We had our arguments, and went our separate ways.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A broken boomerang

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What do u say to someone u don't like? I thought I'd let u no tht I don't like u...

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did you hear about the dyslexic journalist? he employed an assistant to double check his work. They worked really well together.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't; by the time Keller owned her first dog, she was an adult with exceptional communicative abilities for one with her condition. She frequently wrote about her beloved dogs and is even credited with introducing the Akita breed to the United States. If her dog had run away, it would be unlikely that she would have been allowed further dogs.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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what do a heater and a dead baby have in common? a dead baby is only warm for a small period of time

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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