Who's looking for judicial toenail clippings?

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A Starfish walks into a bar. He sits down next to a man with a concussion. Q: What did the man say? A: Nothing because he was in a concussion and was no longer able to say words.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

I'm going as the joker for halloween

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

thumb_up thumb_down -96

what do you say when you see a winner weaner

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family...

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are red violets are blue, he is for me and not for you, he's too ugly you can have him

thumb_up thumb_down +27

If life gives you lemons, squeeze it in life' s eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: How do you confuse a blond A: You don't they are born that way

thumb_up thumb_down +14

whats the difference between a male porsche driver and a porcupine? with porcupines,the pricks are on the outside.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You like penis, That's what you live up to.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I like my women how I like my salad. Without a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did Hellen Keller get hit by a car? She didn't see it coming. (TD)

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A guy walks into a Bar ........ OUCH

thumb_up thumb_down -1

heyy emit chase wazzup

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because he didn't have arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Do you know what hurts? An abortion.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? 12:00

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What is bad about being black and Jewish? Your gonna have to sit in the back of the oven

thumb_up thumb_down -97

mikey is cute

thumb_up thumb_down -10

whats white and smells like black paint? nothing, white paint even though it is still paint has a slightly different smell due to the difference in dye colors used to make it

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's pink and fluffy? PINK FLUFF! What's blue and fluffy? BLUE FLUFF HOLDING ITS BREATH!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How heavy duty are your nachos? No, because babies simply cannot swallow blenders.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops