How many unicorns does it take to change a lightbulb? Unicorns do not use lightbulbs, their technology (magic) is way too advanced to waste fossil fuels and pollute the air. Also, you can't change a lightbulb with hooves. ;)

I'm hungry.

what do you get a man with no arms or legs for his birthday? a quick, painless death.

why did the chicken cross the road? he didnt.. that kinda shit never happens

What is square, brown, and smells funny? A box with a dead body in it.

What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

What are the differences between a black man and a park bench? One's a chair and ones a person.

A dyslexic paraplegic walks into a bra

Knock knock. Who's there? Black guy. Due to your skin tone I feel you may cause potential danger to me and my family, so for that reason I will not allow you to enter my home.

I know a black person. His name is Mikey.

A man decided to commit suicide. He did.

It's a bird! No, it's a plane! No, it's actually a bird. You can see its wings flapping.

What do you call a room full of lawyers? A group of legally educated professionals.

Once upon a time, there was a cat. He died.

Why is red? He was just murmured by a phycopath.

Why was the boy named Bethel? He had horrible parents that wanted him to live a life of social poverty.

why did john wear a red hat? because blue is his favorite color

Q. Where do all funny jokes come from? A. The people who made them up

What's worse than getting murdered? Getting murdered twice? - Louis

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? With the technology of compact fluorescent light bulbs they don't go out for much longer, so the question is nearly irrelevant.

Why did the Pakistani man cry when the Nigerian man was killed in a terrorist attack? They were lovers.

What is the difference between a black man and a sofa? A black man is a human being with feelings, while a sofa is an inanimate object that people sit on in order to enjoy comfort and possibly watch television.

Why did OJ SImpson never get convicted of murder? Because after going to court and proving his innocence a jury of twelve people found him not guilty.

What do you get if you cross an Irishman with a Brazilian Aristocrat? I don't know.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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