Knock Knock Who is there? *bang* The following story depicts the life and death of Bob:___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________then he opened the door and was shot in the face.

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if there is a circle of fat people and you throw a cookie in the middle of the circle. It will be the best game of hungry hungry hippos you will ever see.

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Why was Emily in Alaska? Because she and some friends had been playing Simon Says at a birthday party, and the dad had said 'Simon Says go to Alaska'.

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Q: what do you call a camel with a garbage bag on its head? A: A ziploc baggie

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire? Lawyers exist, are alive and despite all claims to the contrary, can withstand sunlight, garlic and the sign of the cross. They also have reflections and whilst they may eat black pudding from time to time they don't depend on blood as a source of nutrition.

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How is an elephant like a grape? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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What do you call someone like Sarah Palin? A tragic victim of America's flawed educational system. But hey! She learned one thing though! Russia is right in her own backyard! Oh wait that would be wrong unless her backyard stretched all the way across Alaska and the Bering Sea. So she didn't learn anything at all. OK she's just dumb

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Billy was curious if gasoline burns, so he decided to...... .... O crap I'm late for Billy's funeral.

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karn chevalier

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Why didn't Jeffrey become a butler? He did become a butler.

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what's white, sticky, and very fluffy? which can be sweet or bitter, depending on what the person ate. THATS RIGHT. it's CUM. :D

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Seeing duplicates of the top jokes.

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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? In most people who lie eyebrows may raise, eyes may widen and gaze may alter, anal sphincter usually tightens, breathing often quickens marginally, external body temperature alters and sweat (and therefore skin electrical conductivity) increases.

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A man falls off a building and dies on Impact

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What is cold? Winter

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10 people walk into a bar. 6 hours later, 3 more people walk into the bar. There are now 12 people in the bar, and one corpse in the dumpster out back.

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Do't you just hate when a sentence doesn't end how you think it will and it just octopus.

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What did the fish say to the human ? He didn't say anything fish can't speak.

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If Justin Bieber and Rebecca Black had a baby, would it be a boy or a girl? It's a fifty-fifty shot.

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what do u call a gay bird a gaybird

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You know why one side of the "v" formation of a flock of geese is longer don't you? Cause it has more geese in it.

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69

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Oh wait i screwed up, Because of u

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A black man is pulled over doing 66 in a 65 zone. He asks the officer what the problem is and the officer says his left tail light is out

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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