yo mama is so fat that they call her fat mama

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the girl lose her appetite She was stabbed repeatedly with a switch blade.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's the difference between Justin Bieber and a gay guy? They're both gay

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Your mother is so fat that she's more prone to cardiovascular disease than other people who stick to the proper BMI or body mass index

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the wife get her husband after they had intercourse? A sandwich, because she loved him and knew he was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Yo mama's so fat, she possesses a Body Mass Index that is above the recommended value for healthy individuals and thus will have a greater risk for heart disease and other related health problems.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the limp dick say to the vagina? Sorry, I'm a poof.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Two guys were sitting in a pub.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

So this guy walks into a bar. He is promptly rushed to the hospital due to the risk of brain damage, concussion, or other serious head injury.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a magic MAAAAAAAAAAAN? A magic man

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A woman is getting in the shower but the the doorbell rings so she puts on her towel and gets the door a man is there asking for sugar. Then she gets back into the shower then the doorbell rang again so she puts on her towel and anwsers the door another man is there he asked for some batteries she gave him some and went back to the shower. Then she hears the doorbell again she thought since there wasn't anybody else that lived on her street she decided to just go to the door without her towel so she answers the door thinking the blindmans there and it was the police man.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

ecks! why zee?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the man eat the cat? I don't remember the punchline, but trust me it was hilarious.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What do you call a dog with three legs, is blind, and has terminal cancer? UnLucky

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know your mother is a skank.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What do you call a file named pedo? A. Pedobear B. Toast C. Pedofile

thumb_up thumb_down +16

There once was a man from Nantucket, With a penis so long he could suck it. He said with a grin, as he wiped off his chin, If my ear was a cunt, that’d be strange.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's the difference between Neal Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neal Armstrong was the first man to WALK on the MOON, while Michael Jackson enjoyed touching young boys.

thumb_up thumb_down

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the boy die? He got shot in the face repeatedly.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Johan showering. . . AWK

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why do children go to school? Because they have to learn.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops