What's the best Medieval job? A Jester because you get to play with balls all day.

what's the difference between your grandmother and a dead squirrel? Technically, if you burn them both, your grandmother will produce more ash, but apart from that, they are both useless pieces of carbon.

Roses are red Violets are blue I picked them in the meadow this morning

A muslim walks through a medal detector before the entrance of the airport terminal. The alarm goes off and he is arrested by TSA officials, they open his jacket and find 30lbs of high explosives.

What's big, yellow and if it fell from a tree it would kill you? A JCB!

What did the librarian say to the three black men in the library? Nothing. Those three men were Harvard graduates and were very respective of libraries, and thier policies.

What happens if you drop a baby of a cliff It dies

One night you tell your mom to make you a sandwich, the next day in school you ate a delicious peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch

the man walk in to the shop and brought a pet nothing

If George Washington was the first president, and Barack Obama is the latest, how old is my grandma?

What do you call a fish without an eye? Impaired of vision.

Your mum is such a slut, I'd reccomend she seeks psychiatric help, as her deviant promiscuity is clearly a phsical manifestation of some deep rooted psychological disfunction. We all wish her well.

what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She complied and saw the error of her statement.

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roses are red violets are blue you might think i can write poems but, bit i really really can't

(PC) What did the homosexual man say when accidently sat on a stick? Ouch.

Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is to sparsely populated and not economically viable.

Hey do you want to hear the joke about my d**k?? I cant tell it because it's to long

Several ways to annoy people: Grab the end of their shirt to blow your nose Try to shove a bowling ball down there throat Try to sell them a broom and vacuum Try to eat their babies paint their toe Nibble their ankles Ask if you can babysit their crystal and if they say no start whining Carry around your chicken and ask if they want a nugget

An Irishman walks out of a bar

Why did george washington not make it to the prom? because george washington is dead

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither has he.

What did the Neo-Nazi say to the Jew? Hello.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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