What do you get when lettuce and oranges come together? I dont know, thats why I asked you.

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imagine a world without santa ill make it easy, lookout the window

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why did the chicken stop in the middle of crossing the road? to get to the other side

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Nice legs, what time do they open the free bar, I'd like to by you a drink.

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why did the chicken cross the road? he didnt, its just a myth

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A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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Why did the Nazi doctor drown a Jew in the lake? Because he felt like it.

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roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

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Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial Muscles.

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Why didn't the man say, "Hello, Morgan Freeman!" when his friend walked by? Because his friend wasn't Morgan Freeman.

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Why did the man die? Supercalifragilisticexpialidosious

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What's the difference between white and black? White is Caucasian and black is African-American.

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Why didn't the woman believe in God? Her own personal beliefs.

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A man walks in to a bar. He was hospitalized and died later that day.

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Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's. Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's.

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what is a bike without wheels? not a bike.

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red is black green is black i'm batman i'm white,

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Why did little Timmy fall down? Because he was shot in the head.

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A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. The man was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral service.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Actually it is,how may i help you?

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What do you call a dog? A cat. What do you call a cat? A banana.

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Q: Why was the bacteria afraid of the sanitizer? A: Because hand sanitizers are made up of ethyl alcohol, inactive additives such as water, other alcohols and fragrances. Ethyl alcohol is the active ingredient in hand sanitizer and is designed to kill germs.

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OMG this actually works! 1. Hold your breath for 5 minutes 2. Die

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In what way are a pile of deceased children and a Ferrari F430 similar? Neither can be found in my garage, nor anywhere under my possession. As for the Ferrari, this is an unfortunate truth. Due to Ferraris' high level of desirability, and to their low supply, the cost of one such car is much more than an average person can afford. As for the pile of deceased children, anyone in possesion (for lack of a better term, as one can not truly possess another human being, even post mortem) of such a grotesque thing is probably too sick and twisted to be submitting jokes with no apparent climax in hopes of stimulating the minds of the joke's readers sense of humor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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