What did the dying boy get for Christmas? Presents

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A woman wearing a very fancy, striped sweater walks into a bar and sits down. The bar tender asks her “what’ll it be”?. The girl replies “Just a beer for me”. As this happens a child in Africa dies from complications due to starvation.

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A man walks into a doctors and says 'Doctor, Doctor, I have a bad stomach ache' Upon hearing this, the doctor writes the man a prescription for medication and wishes him a swift recovery.

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what did the paraplegic get for his birthday? a bike...

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What's 2+2? Gonorrhoea

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What do you call a boy with one eye and no arms. -Mean names.

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how many times did lucy's mom drop her baby on its head? none, her mom died giving birth.....

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What did the pimp do to his bitch? He thanked her and rewarded her for her years of dedication and preserverance

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Yo mamas so fat she's over weight

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Two gay guys walk into a Hooters... They order cheese fries and enjoy their meal.

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Q:Why did the boy drop his icecream? A: His arm was chopped off by a ninja

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Doctor, I've caught a cold. Take a Halls.

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how did the family die? They were shot in the head.

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What did Osama bin Laden say to the Navy SEALS? Nothing. There was insufficient time to hold a conversation before they shot him in the face.

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Do you wanna build a snowman ? No.

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You arrive in the middle east. What is the first thing that you want to do? Leave

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Fred used to only visit his parents in the hospitals on weekends, because that was his only free time. Now his parents are dead and he has more free time.

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why couldn't three people walk? they were a part of the human centipede.

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TEST! ACTUALLY READ THIS! 1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door. 2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. 3. The King of the Forest is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend except one. Which animal does not attend? The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You just put him in there. This tests your memory. 4. There is a river you must cross but it is inhabited by crocodiles. How do you manage it? You swim across. All the crocodiles are attending the animal conference.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Max

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What do a turtle and a bowling ball have in common? Nothing

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Johnny tried talking to his dog, there was no response.

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whats fat round and mentally special? PeterPanMyHero!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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