why didn't the unicorn have a horn? It was a horse. Why didn't the horse have a horn? it was not a unicorn.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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What did the sign say? It said slow down

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What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo.

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Why did the quick brown fox jump in the lake? He did not see lake on the other side of the lazy dog.

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What's a green tasty vegetable? None, they're vegetables.

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Whats worse than forgetting some thing at the supermarket? your nuts being nail gunned to the wall.

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What's green and has four wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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Three men are walking, the first one walks into a bar. He has a couple of drinks because he is depressed. He drives home, drunk, and dies in a car accident. His wife finds out and hangs herself.

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One time there was a man walking down the street. Wrong, it is physically impossible to walk down a street, you can only walk along it.

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3 guys were caught trespassing in a field and were sent to jail. The cop asked the first guy, "What were you doing in the field? He replied, "I was blowing bubbles" The cop asked the second guy, "What were you doing in the field?" He replied, "I was blowing bubbles" The cop then asked the third guy, "Lemme guess, you were blowing bubbles too? The guy replied, "No silly, I am Bubbles!"

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why did the chicken cross the road? There was a depletion of its natrual habitat due to deforistation and it was searching for a new home.

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Q: Knock Knock!?! A: Lettem' in!!!!

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What do Helen Keller, Stevie Wonder, and Ray Charles have in common? They were all mentioned in the previous sentence.

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Why is Lindsay Lohan out of prison? No, I'm asking.

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Roses are red, Violets are violet, If you think Violets are blue you're an idiot because they're called violets for a reason.

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Whats big, hard, and in my pants? A tumor.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Hello, I'm David and I just stabbed my aunt in the eye. Just kidding, my name isn't David. That was an Aunt Eye(anti) joke.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it didn't it got hit by a bus.

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Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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Why did the boy collect poop? Because it was it was his dogs shit.

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What did the priest get for Christmas? Herpes

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Robin, get in the batmobile.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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