Why did the Asian woman drive 20mph on the highway? There was a deadly car accident with many fatalities.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A blind fish, who had a horrible accident with a fishing hook

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Why did the frog die? Because I stapled it onto a boy's face.

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Why didnt the vampire have a reflection? You have to be real to have a reflexion

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A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette have a contest to see who can get the most likes on their profile pictures. They are all attention-whores.

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How do you teach a black guy to swim? You sign him up for swimming lessons.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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What do you call someone who is unwilfully forced into a life of emotional abuse and domestic violence? My daughter.

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What did the psychopath say to the firefighter? Can you lend me a few bucks? My clothes are dirty and I need to go to the launromat.

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What did the crazy asian man say just before he died? He didn't say anything- he was in an 18 month long coma due to a brain stem stroke. He left behind a wife, a 3 year old daughter and a newborn son.

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What did the foreigners do to pass time? They blew up the twin towers.

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Q. What's a pirate's favorite type of movie? A. It depends on the individual pirate, although most modern-day pirates are from third world countries like Somalia and so are too poor to be able to watch many movies. Classical pirates like those depicted in Treasure Island or Pirates of the Carribean are, of course, from a period of history before movies had been invented, so couldn't possibly have had a favorite.

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do you know that joke? hmm no.. yaa life!

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Knock knock! Who's there? Hitler, time to shower!

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Is there anything better than pussy? Ya a really nice book

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What is white, sticky and tastes great? Milk

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mark lawson likes boys

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Well... My reputation is still kinda exaggerated apparently. What you experienced is called astral projection, some people claim it is the same as lucid dreaming, I beg to differ, the difference is vast. You basically just admitted that people believe much more in you, than you believe in yourself, without believing hypnosis does not work, people are like "bah its just suggestions", its true, but underestimating the power of suggestions is a pretty bad call.

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how did the horse fall into the river? he sliped

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Whats worse than getting shot in the foot? Watching each member of your family get shot in the foot.

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what do u call a fat guy in a pool u

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What's orange and hurts when you get it in your eye? An orange knife.

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what does the muslim guy say in a very busy metro station? jaallalalalalalalalla BAM

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What came first the egg or the hen? your mother did, when I had sex with her last night.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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