What do you call a fish that isn't moving? Dead.

Have u seen Ray Charles' piano "no" neither did he

What's the biggest lie you've ever told? "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

What do you call a really small grape? A grape.

Your mom is so dumb that she failed to pass her 11th grade year, forcing her to drop out to get a GED and spend the rest of her life at a dead end job

Hickory Dickory Dock Three mice ran up a clock The cluck struck one But the two other got away with minor injuries

Wanna hear a joke? Zeke friends Wanna hear a better jokes? Zeke with his friends

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

Knock Knock Who's there? A human pretending to be a dog A human pretending to be a dog who? Errr...I mean...woof

Why did Ashley run out of juice in her house? Because she drank it all!

BOOBALANBOO

Why wasn't the cab driver sent to prison after bombing the school? It was a suicide bombing.

Q. What did the atheist ask the pregnant woman? A. You gonna eat that?

have you tasted chocolate flavoured slurpee? no. i haven't either

What's the difference between a Jewish child and pizza? Pizza does not scream in the oven.

Half life 3 confirmed

What do you call three black men in a car? One driver, and two passengers.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have altzhiemers Cheese on toast.

Q. Why did Michael Jackson call Boys II Men? A. He thought it was a home delivery service.

Whats worst than being raped by a black guy? Being raped by two black guys? You racist i'm calling the police.

A man walks into a bar and at the bar he sees this guy with a blue head. He asks the man with the blue head if he can buy him a drink. The man with the blue head says "sure... you want to know about the blue head don't you?" "Yes i do" "Okay it all starts with a genie, he gave me 3 wishes, the first wish was to have a beautiful wife and a house to put her in, the second wish was for a ton of money, and the third wish was for a blue head."

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because it is humanly impossible to draw a perfect circle.

women's rights

A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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