what doesn't kill you makes you crippled for life because you lost use of your legs in a tragic car accident

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What did 7 say to 6? I hear you've been spreading stories about me.

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my own dog bit my penis off, it was then put down. it was the worst day of my life.

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Why did the blonde throw her alarm clock out the window? Because it was broken.

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a dog.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a registered sex offender.

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What did the minority say to the white person? Aboobasashagaboogly. He was uneducated, along with the other minorities in the world.

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There were three people on a plane, the plane crashed and they all died.

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roses are red violets are blue holy sh*t slendermans behind you

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Wanna hear a riddle? Womens rights

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whats your budget like? a budget.

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Why did Jimmy not go to school? Because Jimmy, along with his family, were killed in a horrible house fire. Knock Knock? Who's there? Not Jimmy...

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A neutron walked into a bar and asked "how much for a drink?" The bartender did not reply because a neutron is so small he didn't notice that it even entered.

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Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

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What did the shark say to the boat captain? So do you prefer cards or pool?

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A fat lady walks into a bar. Your probably wondering what she ordered. She ordered a ham burger.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him.

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Who ya gonna call? ... Whoever you need to talk to at the current time.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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What do Elephants and Grapes have in common? They are both purple, except the Elephant.

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What's the worst thing about that Black Jew at the Bus Stop? He's taking a bus to go to his mother's funeral.

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What did the widow get for her birthday? Nothing from her husband.

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Q- what the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? A- The Wheelchair

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How do you find a needle in a haystack? You don't, you're too distracted by the pile of adorable kittens next to it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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