Your mother is so fat she has made a concerted effort to loose weight and lead a healthier lifestyle

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What did the brown guy say to the black person when he got fired? Nothing, did you think this was going to be racist or something?!

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What's black, white, and red all over?? A penguin that just got hit by a truck and is now struggling to live.

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joe: guess what. Bob: what. Joe: nothing I just wanted to talk

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What do you do if some idiot throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

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Why did I call 87 yr old Jamie McMeanBully a douche bag? Because he's sterile

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What's the difference between John Candy and Chris Farley? Nothing. They're both dead.

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What do you call someone with the world biggest encyclopedia on their head? Dead.

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guy 1- damn its hot in here guy 2- then turn on the damn fireplace

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What do you call a fridge? Dorothy.

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A Cow Walk's Into A Bar And Say's Drink Please The Bartender Is Then Sent To A Mental Hospital For Talking To A Cow.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says: Why the long face? The horse says: I'm a horse. We have long faces.

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What is white and flys at you from a tree? A refridgarator. I lied about the flying part.

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A man went to the doctor and told him he was having the strangest dream. "First I was a tee pee Then I was a wigwam A tee pee, a wigwam. Do you have any idea what could be wrong?" The doctor looked at the man and said "You have aids."

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When Josh moran was born he was thrown up in the air three times and was caught twice.

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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A blind man asked me out last night. I told him I was seeing someone...

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What did the parrot say to the cow? Moo

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Connor is homosexuaI

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Why did the man float in the lake? Because he had more fat than average, so he was very buoyant

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What did the Asian get on his math assignment? 56%, he forgot about it and passed it in a day late with a number of questions uncompleted.

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If pro is the opposite of con what's the opposite of progress? Retrogression.

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How Do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door put the elephant in and close the door. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door take the elephant out put the giraffe in and close the door. The lion king has a meeting with all the animals but one doesn't turn up, which one is it? The giraffe because it's still in the fridge.

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I dont hate you Lets just say if you were on fire and i had water id drink it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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