A cat walks into a bar, the bartender says "pussy?"

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Why did the black man lose his leg? Because he was kidnapped and tortured.

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Did you know: it is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes, how may I help you?

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You can go out to eat without posting it on Facebook.

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My heart is in my hands. Call an ambulance.

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a read head, a brunet, and a blonde sneak into a merchant ship. security hears some noises and goes on to investigate. all three girls jump into banana sacks. security guard kicks the first sack with the read head in it and she growls like a dog, so the security sees its a dog and keeps on walking. he then kicks the sack with the brunet in it, she goes on to hiss like a cat. so then the security guard kicks the last sack with the blonde in it, and she yells out "bananas!"...the end

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whats red and black and green all over? a paint job gone bad

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Why didn't the black lady become a doctor? After being awarded a Guggenheim Achievement Grant for film, she decided rather than going to school for her doctorate to instead spend time traveling in India, doing service work with the country's rather large homeless population.

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What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

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Why did Michael Jackson retire from basketball? Michael Jackson never played basketball, but was nonetheless one of the most successful musicians to ever live.

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All of the people in the burning building escaped except for one what was wrong with that one person? He was a blind, could not hear and was in a wheelchair.

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John Travolta went to a seafood disco last week.

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Q: Why did the kid get Christman presents in August? A: Because it was cheaper than chemotherapy.

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What did the japonese man say? Nothing that we can understand.

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Why is McDonalds bad for you? Because their is so much fat in all its products, and contains many calories.

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The word "Walter" is never funny.

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What's the difference between Justin Beiber and a horrible singer? Nothing.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m-BD0nWgoIw

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why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was taped to the first one why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? it didn't

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? Let's go play on our bikes.

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A blond, a brunet, and a red head jumped off a bridge. Which one hit the ground first? In order to solve this problem you would first need to figure out witch of the three had more of a body mass. Then you would need to calculate the accretion in case one brought along a cow. However, in the end the outcome is always the same: 3 dead bodies on impact and 3 mourning families.

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Whats Bin Laden's favorite store 9/11

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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