Where does the Queen of England live? England.

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Hey I had a wet and dirty dream about you last night. Really? What happened? You got hit by a bus and I pissed myself laughing. .......

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Whats worse than a dumpster full of dead babies? A landfill full of dead babies.

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I once shot an elephant in my pajamas. I suffer from a debilitating sleep disorder.

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how do you make a baby stop crying? but hot coals down its throat

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had completed its task on the aforementioned other side and was returning back to the coop for a feeding now that the sun had set.

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Knock Knock trick or treats? here is the candies, have fun kids!

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A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says, "We don't serve food here." The sandwich charges the barman for discrimination.

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As if it helps your self esteem: Nothing yet, Be the first to comment.

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Plumber, ma'am." "Thank God you're here. I haven't been able to take a shower in three days."

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Don't think of granny porn

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Knock Knock!! Who's There? No one, your being ding dong ditched!

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when life throws you lemons you should probably get out of the way because it will hurt

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What's Red and bad for your teeth? A Brick

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Q: A man walked into a bar and said, "Ouch!" Why? A: The man walked into a METAL bar.

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Your mother is so stupid that it would be politically incorrect and socially unacceptable to make asinine, derogatory comments about her challenges.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Max. Max who? Max who starts his greeting with,  "In accordance with Megan's law"  

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whatts blue and fuzzy? Blue fuzz

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What do you call a Mexican hot dog? Lunch.

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Why was a refrigerator sitting on a part bench? Because someone set it there.

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Why do black guys have white palms? Because that area of the human hand contains no melanocytes, the cells that allow pigment to form.

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Mel Gibson is awoken by the ringing of his telephone. He proceeds to have a nice conversation with his wife.

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The biggest lie ever. "I do" -Kim Kardashian

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Why didn't Suzie answer her mother? Suzie has a serious condition where she is mute and also severely deaf.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops