What became of the girl who drank shellac and died? Her poor father attempted CPR for three hours straight before being forced to give up on his child's life. A massive funeral was held; everyone she ever knew attended. It was a very sad affair.

Why couldn't the woman drive the car? Because she was a woman.

Roses are red violets are blue I'm sorry to say it but i hate you

From SpongeBob SquarePants "Hey Patrick, wanna know what's funnier than 24??" - SpongeBob "What?" - Patrick " 25!!!!" - SpongeBob There are a lot of things that are funnier than 24 though.

How many babies can you fit in a bottle? None, a bottle is too small

What's worse than getting stuck in traffic? AIDS.

What do you call a man with a black book? I don't know.

What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

your mama is so stupid stole a free sample

knock knock who's there ... '*Opens the door slowly* SUPRISE BUTT SEX!

What do you do if you walk outside and see your t.v. floating in the lawn in the middle of the night? Go back inside.

why did the jew drop his coin? beacuse a nazi killed him before he put it in his pocket

DONT READ THIS. YOU WILL BE KISSED ON THE NEAREST POSSIBLE FRIDAY BYrnTHE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE.TOMMOROW WILL BE THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE. NOWrnYOU'VE STARTED READING THIS. DON'T STOP. THIS IS SO FREAKY.rn1. say your name ten times.rn2.say your mom's name five times.rn3. say your crushes three timesrn4. paste this to four other groups.rnIf you do this, your crush will kiss you on the nearest Friday.rnBut if you read this and do not paste this, then yournwill have very bad luck.rnSEND THIS TO 5 GROUPS IN 143 MINUTES. WHENrnYOU'RE DONE PRESS F6 AND YOUR CRUSH'S NAME WILL APPEAR IN BIG LETTERSrnON THE SCREEN. THIS IS SO FREAKY BECAUSE IT ACTUALLY WORKSrnrnrn

Why did the sky turn gray? Yes because she thought it meant a quarterback.

How many alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side

What happened when man put a dog in the blender? He got arrested for Animal abuse

Q. What do you call a small hen that can't lay eggs properly? A. A small hen that can't lay eggs properly.

What do you call a man with a towel on his head? A good target.

Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a murderer.

THE GAME.

what did one cupcake say to the other cupcake? nothing because they were both cupcakes.

whats the difference between 69 and 6.9 theres a period in the middle

what did Santa say to the 3 hookers? Merry Christmas!

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...