Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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Why had the father left his family. Because he was tired of dancing in a circle.

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What do you call a puppy in alaska? A cold PUPPY!!!!!

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So you there Red?

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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SQUID DOMINATION!!! Squids WILL Take Over the World!!!

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An elephant walked into a pub and ordered a strong Vodka and Coke. "Long day?" asked the barman. "Yeah. Very. So many people stroking my trunk in my apartment - It's meant to be a private place. I'm scared to go back there. One child said they were going to rape me."

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what do jews, blacks, and asians have in common? they have all been targets of racism!

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"Why did the chicken cross the road" "why" "to get to the gay guys house" "knock-knock" "who's there?" "The chicken..."

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead-

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What do you call a crocodile in a dentist? I have no idea, but I'd hate to be that dentist.

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What do you call a sandwich that has sandwich on it? A sandwich.

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I have no soul so I must consume yours

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What do you call two black men kicking a ball? Soccer.

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Whats brown and drives people around? A cab driver of south asian decent. Finding a job that alligns with their qualifications and experience is not always possible, so they take up menial jobs to survive and provide for their family.

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the world flooded and everybody died how did they die? the all fell into lava!

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What did the Jew say to the black guy? Hey whatsup?

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A bar walks into a man

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How do you mess with Hellen Keller? Re-arrange her furniture.

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What do you say to a black man on the street? Hello.

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What's similar between a black man and jelly babies? Nothing

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Why don't white people do the right thing? Because we suck

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God is almighty, as such he ANSWERS TO NO ONE! Moral: What you praying for then bitch?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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