Strawberries!

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why do you throw the baby up the tree??. to get my ball back.

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Balls

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What's the difference between being gay and being homosexual? Nothing really. The two words are synonyms so they can be used interchangeably.

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What do Sylvia Plath and a cake have in common? Nothing.

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What did the vegitarian order for brunch. VEGITARIANS DONT BELIEVE IN ICE CREAM>

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Why did the Asian woman get into a car accident? She didn't pay attention in driver school and sped through a red light and hit a bus that killed 14 children.

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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What did one alligator say to the other alligator? Ear

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Why was the Asian man told to open his eyes? He was sleeping.

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Sam: Knock knock? You: Who's there? Sam: Sammy Sosa. You: Hi, Sammy Sosa. Sam: Hi.

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Whats the difference between a quarter and a penny? 24 cents.

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What did the black person use to peel a banana? His hands.

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a chinese man pays the full price

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What did Shaggy say to Scooby before they got in the Mystery Machine? Scooby, get in the Mystery Machine.

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How do you get rid of a pile of dead babies? Call 911 so someone will pick them up and take them to the morgue.

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Some blind tall guy asked a rich dude about time when the rich dude looked at his klock he remembred many things in his ugly terrible life so he said to the blind guy : its 5PM

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What's big or small, can come in different colors, and would kill you if it was forced inside you? A refrigerator.

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You wanna know something that's totally out of this world? The moon

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What did one duck say to the other? Well, it said "Quack" but it's not certain if it was actually addressing the other duck or if it was just making a noise in response to some other stimulus.

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Why is the baby not crying? Because it died of herpes. JUST KIDDING! Babies can't get herpes.

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What type of cheese is not your cheese? The cheese that belongs to another person.

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What do you call a black man with a knife in his hand? A surgeon.

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whats harder than watching a dog get hit by a bus? my boner..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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