Izzy and Zayn Malick got married. Then Zayn asked for a divorce due to their age difference..

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Your family is so fat that when their feet hit the ground, it recorded 9 on the richter scale, because they were launched at the Earth at close to the speed of light, and when you account for relativistic mass effects, the amount of energy that was displaced into the ground was tremendous

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you call a green blur in the sky? Super pickle?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

whats funnier than a black person dieing nothing that is so cruel

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's cooler than being cool? An object at absolute zero

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Pencils are yellow, Grass is green OK

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Guess what else smells like tuna!?! A dead tuna fish in a can

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why do black people like fried chicken?? Because it was fried

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Are you going to just stand there and watch me burn for i am on fire? Well that is fine because the sensation feels so fantastic. You are going to just stand there and listen to me whine the night away. It is quite okie-dokie for I really love your art of lying! To be certain, I love it very much! I can not find myself telling you what really occurred, I can only explain to you the sensation i felt from this moment. For I have a dagger in my trachea. For the number of days where the do not's fell like the actually do's. I will be very happy :). But where are you trying to walk away from. Than she told me she was leaving. I said no you very certainly are not! Megan Lady-who-sleeps-with-many-men (aka Whore) Fox. We find ourselves back on the day we met...... etc etc, lot's of pissed off Rapper vs. the English language. Than more words fly out of the mouth of the woman that said she "just wanted a hit" than got slapped around the ear by her ex. It is a pointless song. Today's youth is hopeless. (just kidding i love Eminem stay infinite for life)

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did Justin Bieber say when he lost his tampon? Where's my tampon?

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Whay was 6 afraid of 7? 7 had an extra penis

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why is 16 scared of 17? Because 17, 18, 19 *crickets*

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the bartender say to the upset horse? GET OUT OF MY BAR!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

so there was two ducks in a bathtub. one duck says to the other duck, "hey, can you pass me the soap? the other duck says no.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A man once had a monkey, and it made him very happy. then one day, his monkey ran away. So the man was very sad and screamed, "I knew i should have broken the monkey's legs!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -20

how do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why is the black guy jobless? He's 3 years old.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Ask me if I like pie. Do you like pie? OF COURSE!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: How does 5 gay people walk together? A: In One Direction.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What did the deaf, blind, poor orphan get for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's yellow and goes up and down? A banana in an elevator.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what do a snake and a bird have in common? they can both fly! except for the snake.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops