Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

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Friend: I hope you burn in hell -.- Me: I hope you step on a leggo in the dark Friend: *gasp* take that back

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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Q: what did the man say to the woman when he wanted her to leave? A: please leave

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What's a black guys favourite thing to eat? Food.

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how do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

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What did they do with the drunken sailor? Gave him the sack, which meant he could no longer provide for his family.

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a ginger has a soul

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What did the man say to his brother? Nothing, because he just died in a tragic car crash.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, if the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are due to transportation issues. (What if there are no replacement light bulbs in the house, and the nearest store was 10 miles away? It would be ridiculous to expect someone to walk twenty miles to replace a light bulb) In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

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What has four legs, yet it can't walk? A dead horse.

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haiku's are funny. but sometimes they don't make sense. refrigerator.

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What's the similarities between a spoon and a duck. Both are not a lamp

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What is the difference between a brick and a ginger? The entirety of their chemical make up and physical appearance.

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? The light was green.

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Q: Why was jimmy's mom crying? A: Because her doctor said their were going to get rid of he cancer, 5 minutes later hey came back in and told her that he had made a mistake and that was for someone else, she was actually only had a month to live.

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What did one barstool say to the other? Nothing, inanimate objects cannot talk.

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A man walks off a bus. How did he get on top of it in the first place?

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Why didn't the gangster cross the road? Because he J-walked and was hit by a car.

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Why did the Japanese piliot crash into the ship? Because he has motion sickness and puked all over the wind shield making it so he can't see.

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want to hear a cheesy joke? ... cheddar

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What is both bold and brash? Fox

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Father Murphy met Samuel Myer on the street. Sam it's been a month o' Sundays since I've seen you. You look propserous. How's the moile business? A snip better, Father, since we talked last. And thank you. For what, Sam? Well the last time we met you asked what I did with the foreskins. Well, here is the answer, my new business. What's this, a wallet. But so smooth, Sam. Yeah, Father, but when you rub it. Rub it, Sam? Yeah when you rub it it falls apart. And you have to buy a new one! Mazel Tov!

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Why didnt Stevie Wonder wave back at the white man? Because he's a racist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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