A antijoke? The "new and better" Duke Nukem. "Power armor is for poossies! My ego is going to... ARGH! Both my arms are blown away... well Duke Nukem is too awesome! He uses his legs..ARGH MY LEGS! Well Duke Nukem is dead... but his ego will keep the remains of his corpse fighting aliens! Yeah ego!" Nukem: I got balls of fail...

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What did the Japanese kid get for his birthday? Nothing, his gifts were washed away.

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rozes r read violots r bue i cannt soell causse ima bliend

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What did the ocean say to the other ocean? - nothing oceans are inanimate objects that are incapable of talking.

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Knock knock. *Silence Knock knock *silence Knock knock *Silence KNOCK KNOCK. *Silence (Busts open door) Oh right I murdered Billy a week ago

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Why can't Timmy go on any rollercoasters? Because he's morbidly obese and it would a safety hazard.

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a mexecan guy walks in a bar he ask how much is a beer.its $400 and 55'.WHAT THATS SUCKSISH.no i just like to joke its 1 dollor.oh.....shut up go walk in a bra!!!!

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Why did Susie drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Why did Timmy's face hurt? Because there was a frog stapled to it.

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wife: why are women's feet smaller husband: so they can stand closer to the kitchen sink

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swag

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And love is, bein' the owner of a company that makes rape whistles and even though you started the company with good intentions trying to reduce the rate of rape, now you don't wanna reduce it at all cuz if the rape rate declines you'll see an equal decline in whistle sales. Without rapists, who's gonna buy your whistles? Who's gonna buy your whistles? Love is all about whistles.

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Do not lose hope, you have always considered me hard to get, while this time, I came to you. Next time too, I kinda owe you.

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Why did the boy drop his peanuts and crackerjacks? He had a sudden heart attack and died at the age of 10

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What is the best thing about dating a slut? You can return her at Build-a-Hoe Workshop.

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What's the difference between Barney the dinosaur and Santa? Barney loves you.

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Q: Why did Sarah fall off the swings? A: She had no arms Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Why did the pirate have a peg leg? Diabetes

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Why can't Hellen Keller have kids? Because she's dead, therefore does not possess the ability to bear children.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because he was hungry and mcdonalds was across the street

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A man walks into a bar, and he died.

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how do u make a plummer cry? Kill his children.... :)

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Violets are not blue They are Violet

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what did the apple say to the orange? -- NOTHING! APPLES DO NOT TALK!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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