What do you say if you see your TV floating in the middle of the night? Wow, I need to lighten up on the acid.

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I won the game.

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My dog barks when someones at the door.

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What was the latino gardener doing? Working hard to keep his job in these tough economic times.

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Whut r bacer dew? Eh muphin

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What do you get when you combine lemons, sugar and water? Lemons, sugar, and water

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What had 82 eyes, 7 mouths, and sings the blues? Nothing, the described creature does not exist.

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Why did the cow go over the hill? He didn't. He was pinned and slaughtered in a private owned animal torture facility.

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What do you call a blonde person? By her name.

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penis

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A woman fell victim to nasty car accident. Her injuries were very grave. The doctors warned her family that she had two hours to live. She died two hours later.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the batmobile? Robin, get in the batmobile

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How does Lady Gaga like her meat? Cooked until it reaches an internal temperature of 180 degrees Fahrenheit to lower the risk of contracting diseases such as salmonella.

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Q: how much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A: 14

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Chuck Norris. I'm Done. That's my joke.

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roses are red, violets are blue, im not going out with someone that belongs in a zoo.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you thro them

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What do you call a Muslim in control of a plane? A pilot

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What's black and white and read all over? Half a zebra.

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Why is my brother so bad at making anti jokes cuz HE HAS a sense of humor

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: *smiles* Did what hurt? Boy: When you broke through the Earth's crust ascending from hell.

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Whats the difference between Megan Fox and a dead baby? Megan Fox is alive

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A man starts acting weird in a resturant, the waiter says "whats the problem sir?" The man says "I'm choking and I just died."

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What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a Cheetah? A yellow Chuck Norris with black spots.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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