A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Why did the old man fall off a bicycle? He had a fridge thrown at him.

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What do you call a man with a black book? I don't know.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke her face

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: So it could get hit by a car, to prove that chickens have free will, and have every right to cross a road without any particualar reason.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Becca. I just found out i have aids, so you should probably get yourself checked out.

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Did you hear about the guy who had his head chopped off? He's dead.

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Why did dan jump off of the empire state building? -Because Carl pushed him off.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Cheese on toes

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Roses are red Violets are blue. most poems rhyme but this one doesn't!

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Yo mamma is so skinny, she has developed anorexia, a serious eating disorder, which not only affects her, but also the ones that she loves and cares about.

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I wonder what mute people say to themselves. :/

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What did the kid say when his parents were killed? Nothing. He's a vegetable

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Two Guys Walk into a bar, you would think one of them would've seen it

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Why did the man throw his son out the window? His house was on fire

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A Rabi, a priest, and a monk all go to different churches because they all have different beliefs an respect each others decisions.

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Whats more dangerous then a man with a gun? two men with guns.

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Why couldn't Bethany drive? She was 14.

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When god hands you lemons .. you find a new god.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had a heart attack. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

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Honestly though bud, are you wasted? XD

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knock knock who's there ?

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Bison: I just dont feel like having bread for breakfast again Sagat: You want some... Cornflakes? Bison: Ohohoh Ahahaha! Sagat: You like it? Bison: THIS IS DELICIOUS! Balrog: :( What about those tapes I made for you? You want me to...:( Bison: Balrog, shut up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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