Michael J. Fox asked me if I wanted my drink shaken or stirred, did I really have a choice?

how do you make a plumber cry A: kill his family

How many Jews can you fit in a car? Comfortably, four.

Q: Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? A: Because she was a woman.

Why did the Mxican eat the taco? Because he was hungry,

A white man on his way to happens to sit next to a black man the following conversation involves a democrat and a repuplican arguing about obama's current presidentcy and the wallstreet journal the two do not agree on both sujects and part ways...the white man is later brutally murdered in his own house infront of white and children in an unrelated incident. We should all help to stop violence in our local nieghborhoods.

Yo mama is so poor she used the welfare system and is a family of 4 and has a successful business now

The awkward moment when a joke doesn't end the way you think it dinosaur.

Why don't I understand myself? Because I am an anti-joke and lack a self-aware existence.

Q: Whats worse than 17 babies in 1 bin. A: 1 baby in 17 bins. Q: Whats worse than that. A: 17 bins in 1 baby.

What did Jerry Sandusky do when he was alone with 3 little boys? Taught them how to play football.

Paul Walker: Breaks, stop Breaks: No

In Soviet Russia, Joke isn't funny!

Sandusky went from Penn State, to the State Penn.

how does a zookeeper build a snowman. same as everyone else

I love it when i go into my classroom first thing in the morning, and the light are off... i always feel so Empowered... i walk in, and say Let There Be Light! while i lift my arms up and there was light.... omg! im god! O_O

Why was the black guy mad at the white guy? Duh, cause the black guy slapped the white guy.

I know there are, its not the illuminati, its not reptilian shapeshifters, nor Gods politicians nor the human condition. Its society today as it stands, they did not have the right to attack us, but if we had surpassed them, they would have lost all power, they are the relics of the past, and no matter how many of them stand, they do not grow, and what does not grow, stagnates until it finally dies. Lose hope in people most all you want, but not in the few that truly believe in you for all the good reasons in the world, perhaps we are idealists, or maybe we know that with you by our side, what we see as ideals, is something you can make come true.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was commiting suicide

Roses are red, bikers are blur.....I love you ( drunk texting )

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in the front of his pants. He is given some very strange looks from the patrons both due to the fact that he has a steering wheel in his pants and because people wearing traditional pirate garb are a rarity.

That awkward moment when a sentence doesn't end the way you think it octopus.

What's black and fun to hang from trees? Tire swings.

Why does Susie fall off the swing? I shot her in the head with a pistol.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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