In this country, you gotta get the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, you get shot the F*** up at the end of Scarface.

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What do you call a chicken who eats chicken. Cannibal

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker face pa pa poker face!!!

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Yo Momma is so fat, she often chooses to take the elevator instead of the stairs.

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Q. Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A. Because he slipped on his moms three day old tampon.

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I guy goes into a coffee shop and says I'll have a coffee and a danish. The clerk says we're all out of danish. The guy says I'll just have the danish then.

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What do you call a teenager who cant add? A Total Failure

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kiss me?

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TEST! ACTUALLY READ THIS! 1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door. 2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. 3. The King of the Forest is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend except one. Which animal does not attend? The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You just put him in there. This tests your memory. 4. There is a river you must cross but it is inhabited by crocodiles. How do you manage it? You swim across. All the crocodiles are attending the animal conference.

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What is the difference between Jews and boy scouts? Jews are a religious group. Boy scouts are a group of boys who enjoy camping and other outdoor activities.

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Why does tundes food suck? Because he is from Africa and the cuisine is different

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Why did the chicken kill itself? To get to the other side.

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knock knock who's there? al-Qaeda

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How do you confuse Hellen Keller? You do not, as she is blind and deaf, and partaking in doing so would be the morally wrong thing to do.

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

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What's black, white, and red all over? An interracial couple that got hit by a bus.

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How many fingers am i holding up? 4

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Roses are OK, Violets do the trick, C'mon and let me whip out my Dick.

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I once was told that life is like a box of chocolates, but then realized that it wasn't

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? She had no Arms or legs Knock knock Whos there? Not Sally XD XD XD XD XD XD XD

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Roses are red Violets are red I'm bleeding quite profusely I should proably go to the hospital

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What did modern scientists say to Einstein? Neurtinos travel faster than the speed of light! :)

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what's better than animal crackers? your mom.

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Brain fart

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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