How do you wake up Lady GAGA? A sludge hammer!

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

What do you call a man that likes fishsticks? His name

Facebook...

A black man walks into a store with a ski mask on... what does he do?? he buys skiis.

what did the duck say to the dog. quack

9/11

What do you call a Jewish wanna be gangster? Drake

Why are children like books? They are highly flammable if covered in gasoline.

Why did the duck cross the road? To get cream cheese.

How do you get a priest out of a tree? Throw a canoe at him.

When does the Narwhal bacon? The Narwhal bacons at mid-night.

How many Japanese people does it take to make a whirlpool? - None, because they're all dead.

Why are anti jokes funny? You can trick an old person to think they are

why couldent Hellen Keller drive? Because shes a woman.

Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting raped

you know whats better than lemonade? sex

How do you make a clown cry? You kill his family and chop off his legs.

whats the similarities between an xbox and michael jackson? there both made of plastic and they both get turned on by children

How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all on a deserted island with no food or water. The redhead decides to try and swim to safety, but after a few hours of swimming she becomes to tired to carry on and drowns. After knowing their friend died, the two other women decide that swimming is not a viable option for rescue, so they decide to stay on the island. A few days later a search party rescues them.

a car drives off a cliff whos driving? an asin woman!

What do you call a naked couple? Horny.

How do you make a plumber cry? Murder his family.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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