How do you keep a woman from driving your car? Shoot her.

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what do you get when you mix a llama with a ostrich? i dont know

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When crossing the river, why the old lady die? She was hit by a falling brick that fell from an airplane.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Some people like melon and others like soup.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? A watermelon is edible.

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what happens when you punt a baby in between 2 poles? you get 3 points

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What is red, and bucket shaped? A red bucket.

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a man walks into a bar, and gets mauled by a bear..... and gets a concussion

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Did you hear about the anorexic with the yeast infection? Apparently she's really good at math, and if she can overcome her afflictions she wants to become an accountant one day.

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7

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Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Chuck Norris' cheese

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What happens when you get your leg caught in an elevator door? Nothing. It is likely that the elevator has advanced sensory components that won't allow the door to close on your leg.

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Ed Milliband looks like an amphibian.

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Your mom is so stupid that she failed out of high school and was forced to prostitute for money, thus resulting in you.

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A white man went to the basketball court to play basketball and was confronted by a group of black men. They kindly invited the white man to play basketball with them and they had a nice day

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what do you get when you combine a vampire,werewolf,and whiny girlfriend ....... the worst show in the history of the earth

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Just found out that it doesn't work.

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Why did the African boy die? He was denied any antibiotics to heal his severe case of mono and AIDS, and was living on dirty water and dirt.

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Roses are red violets are blue most poems rhyme but this one doesnt.,

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Half a worm... What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Being Gang-raped!

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Why did the CEO step down? Because he was very ill and could no longer meet his duties and expectations as Pear’s CEO.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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