Whats yellow and cant swim? a bulldozer

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q- what do you call a small number of black people running away from a large group of white people? a- every marathon known to man...

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how do we call a person with no body nor nose? a dead guy

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How do you stop your baby from crawling into your room? Shove a spear through its head.

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What's worse than carrying a heavy suitcase? Poisoning children.

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Yes or No? You're wrong because it was both.

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Yo mamas so fat she is obese

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Why lets go Mets? Lets go Yankees!

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Dave: Say "game" ten times fast Bud: Game, game, game, game, gay ma, gay ma, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay

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how come timmy didnt brush his teeth he didnt have a toothbrush

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Why couldn't the kid eat his vegetables? His parents stabbed him...

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What did the little Jew boy get for Christmas? nothing he is a Jew, he doesn't celebrate Christmas.

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Why were two black men fighting for a dollar that fell on the floor? Because they both lost their homes in the crashing market and have to care for their ill children that need money for medical expenses.

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Guess who is violent. Osama

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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Justin's hair

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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Whats blue and fuzzy? Blue fuzz. Whats pink and fuzzy? Blue fuzz that's embarrassed.

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Q: What is so funny about a dog chasing his tail? A: The dog cannot figue out that it his own tail, and every time he moves so does the tail. Therefore never reaching a satisfying end for the mentaly chalanged mutt.

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't, he died like everyone else.

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What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? They were caucasian artists.

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42

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Q: how do u piss off a plumber? A: kill his whole family

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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