What did the boy who was in a chainsaw accident yell to his mom when he was on a rollercoaster? Look ma, no hands!

Three jews walk into a bar. The bar is hosting a bar mitzvah.

why did the chicken cross the road? because the food source on its original side was running low, thus forcing the chicken to find other food options.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Tourette's, Cheese on toast.

Peas and Corn. Porn., a deer

What does a squirrel get when it rains? It gets wet.

In Soviet Russia, it is the largest country in the world. A lot of the parts are uninhabitable though.

Why do elephants have such big ears? So they can hear really well.

What was the energizer bunny arrested for? Rape.

Billy had a dream. He saw himself becoming rich and famous. He drove an expensive car and lived in a mansion. His career reached its peak and he was accused by the media of having numerous sexual relations and drug problems. After 3 years of rehab he made an excellent comeback tour in which his name made it back onto the front pages and his respect regained. In his later years, he died of an accidental drug overdose and his loyal fans pay tribute to him every year. But this will never happen to Billy. Billy is a cactus.

ok last night i found a pic of romney saying "if i win the election 8 million people will have no job" then Obama says hey romney now that i won the election it would be 8 million and one stupid.

Pff, "Axel", you are a fucking amateur, I can convey your fucking message in two lines, and one and a half of those lines would be fucking swearing and insults. I am done with the fucking underground society, it used to be a great place for people to discuss real world matters rather than be blinded by the fucking lies of the media, and yes religion, if you ever worked for me, you know that the fucking bible is a textbook example of every goddamn brain washing technique there is. But if you where ever my allumni, id expect you to use those methods sparringly and only when neccesary. No wonder people consider you a fucking cultist, you use your fucking methods as smoke and mirrors rather than letting "your people" know, and teach them that you just use a bunch of verbal tricks. Mental-ism is not magic, and neither should it be implied to be part of the surreal, while I respect your ideology, you have misused it to acquire power and wealth from those you claim to protect, and while you do convey some good ideals, you are far too arrogant and ignorant for the role you have given yourself. Besides, even if you could protect "your people" as you claim you can, who the fuck is supposed to protect the rest from them?! That is some hard core methods you are abusing "Axel", and you know it, if you claim to be anti religion, then stop using the very same methods they do without teaching people how the methods work first! Moral: Never underestimate me, I enjoy behaving like a jackass, but it does not mean that I am one, as for you, you are a jackass which likes behaving like someone worthy of respect. I am still at the fucking hospital, so if you want some guidelines, speak here, and if you cant send me your contact information so we can chat on a proper phone, I will only have to assume that you are either a coward for not revealing your location to an obviously superior man ...Or... ...that... ...you... Are a fucking coward little bitch that simply keeps on hiding behind the people he claims to protect and shield! Start by admitting that I am far beyond your puny knowledge, and I might throw in a few lines of assistance. Moral 2: You are fucking using horse head network as we speak! I use it for bullshit and "iron manning", you shame the remains of the underground society for using it as means of "encoded messages" and at all!

-Why was little Johnny sad? >Why? -Because he had a frog stapled to his forehead.

Have you ever seen the episode of the powerpuff girls where they save the day?

What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo.

69

Knock Knock. Whos there? I am the danger! Danger who? I AM THE ONE WHO KNOCKS!

"Happy Father's Day!" said the little boy to the old man. The old man broke out in tears because he had always wanted to be a father.

Knock Knock Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The Police then give the S.W.A.T team the signal, and bust down the door and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door is Carlos Pedrojeuz, a serial killer, meth addict who has been a part of the sex slave trade for a decade. One might think of answering the door next time.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: 9/11

What do a blond and a jar of marmalade have in common? Nothing, they are completely different.

You're so retarded that people make fun of you and you laugh with them because you don't understand and just want some friends.

What did Goldilocks say to the three bears? She asked them how bears make porridge without opposable thumbs.

what does a baby sound like in a microwave. i don't know i was masturbating

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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