Roses are red, Violets are blue, MAKE ME EAT LEMONS, I ATE U!

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Kid: mom what happens when grandpa farts? Mom: well son... Everyone leaves the room

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A white guy, a hispanic guy, and asian, a black guy, a philipiean guy, and a wait what am i doing?

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When life gives you Lebanon, make lebanonanade.

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Q: How do you get a jewish girls number? A: You roll up her sleeve

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What's the difference between jumping off of a 2 story building and a 20 story building? You're more likely to die from the latter.

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I kinda said I did not want to know, sooo... Want to meet up tomorrow? Like for realsies? In that case tell me first (then show me tomorrow as proof), your cough... Vagina, I dont care if its shaven or not, but does it have red hair?

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What do bicycles and platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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its all aodhan

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I friended Paul Walker on Xbox, but he's always in the Dashboard.

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Why did Johnny stop walking halfway to school? A fridge fell on him.

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When I'm through with you... They will never find your body... And even if they did... All they find would be teeth!!!

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What color is cotton? White Well in Afrca, they grow black cotton

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What do you call a pair of banana peels? Trash.

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What do you call a black man walking on the side of a road? A Pedestrian

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A man walks into a bar, purchases a beer, and leaves.

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It works on whoever I have an emotional attachment with, for example people might be thinking you and I write in the exact same style, but I am actually copying your way of typing (spelling, word composition etc) this because we relate on a deep emotional level with people that like "get us" because they can act and behave like us. This again doubles the effect of the hypnosis, since when I get "super high on trance" and you feel that way, well, we both reach into the same wavelength, literally. Scientists and hypnotists supposedly have no idea as to why this happens, but I know, it is because our brain patterns are so similar, that even though we are at a long distance, your body believes itself to be an extension of mine and the other way around. How do I know this? Yogurt.

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What do you call a person who kills a black? A black man

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb? NONE A YO F******G BUSINESS!!!

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Q: Why are asians good at math? A: Because they study with their tutor every tuesday

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Why doesn't Squidward wear pants? Because he's a pervert

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when your cable is on the fritz, you play video games instead. when you play video games, you get good. when you get good, you go to COD XP. when you go to COD XP, you lose to whiteboy 7th st. when you lose to whiteboy 7th st., you get into Skyrim. when you get into skyrim, you reenact cut scenes from skyrim. and when you reenact cut scenes from skyrim... ...you take an arrow to the knee... ...don't take an arrow to the knee. Get rid of cable.

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why did the man get ran over by a turtle? he crossed the STREET

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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