What do you call a man with an arrow to the knee? An ambulance because he's got a serious leg injury right there.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have 5 fingers. The middle one is for you.

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jay hefti is so cool and alex askew is hot

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Why did the boy die of Cancer? Because I took some radioactive chemicals and hen I feel like it I beat him with it.

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Why can't Helen Keller hear? She's dead

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why was the boy sleeping in the basement? he was brought over from ethiopia to become a child sex slave and was now being help against his will in a basement

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what kind of dog can tiptoe

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So there's a man named Moses. He prays to God for a donkey to transport him from Bethlahem to Jerusalem. God granted his wish. God said" To make the donkey go, you must say Hallelujah. To make it stop you say Go". Moses rode off happily. Suddenly the donkey went off trail and was headed towards a steep cliff. Moses kept saying stop, stop, stop. He remembered what God had said, and had said Go. They stopped one inch before falling down. Moses thanked the lord and said " Thank You Jesus, Hallelujah." And down they went.

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Rebecca black walked into a bar. She was then escorted out because she is under-aged.

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What do you call a muslim who is not a terrorist ? A muslim

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A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods, the bear asks the rabbit does shit stick to your fur? The rabbit says no, so the bear wipes his ass on the rabbit

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There was an elephant , a bird, a man, a tree, a cat, a dog, a lion, a horse, a cow, a pig, a duck, a lemon, a turnip, an apple, a rabbit, a slice of pizza and a spoon. I just wasted around 8 seconds of your life

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Sure, if my waifu aproves, hell, the more the hornier. CONDOMS? ARE YOU INSANE? CONDOMS ARE FOR PUSSIES... ..:WHIIIIIICH sorta makes sense so okay, my for a moment I thought you where not gonna go trough with this... Nah just kidding, I already got you, now if you want to break free I am gonna be like "MEH!" So, uh, you shaven or not? Please dont be "trimmed", sometimes it just looks like a pussy with a mustachio, thats bullshit.

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What do you call a lesbian eskimo? The name she was given at birth.

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Knock knock: Who's there? Guy in the doghouse. Guy in the doghouse who? WILL YOU LET ME OUT OF HERE?!?

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why does paul mccartney not wear shoes? cause a nigga stole it

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What did the African-American get for Christmas? Nothing. I did mention he was African-American, right?

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whats a funny joke? nuthing nuthing at all

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How many dead rats can you put in your ex-girlfriend's bed? 437.

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You're so vein you are probably a tube that conveys blood from various parts of the body to the heart.

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Colloqiual irregularities are a significant part of the English language, and excellent example of this is between can and may.

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what did the man do when he was at the end of his rope? he bought more rope.

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Sam Hengal.

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Why wouldnt you want to hit a black man that is on a bike with your car? It mite be your bike

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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