Knock, Knock Who's There? (Silence) Wondering who was there, the man opened the door, to find a baby in a basket in front of him.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

I had a great joke to tell you. I didn't want people stealing my ideas so I didn't write it. Haha

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What was in the magical purple teapot? Two dying pelicans.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A poor woodcutter accidentally dropped his axe into the nearby river when taking a particularly forceful swipe at the tree he was cutting. He felt so dejected he wept. Then, the goddess of the river appeared. "What ails thee, my dear man?" she asked. "My axe -- it fell in the river!" stuttered the weeping woodcutter. "Do not worryI am the goddess of this river, and will find your axe!" said the River Goddess and dived into the river. After waiting eagerly for several minutes, the woodcutter was resigned to the fact that he had imagined the River Goddess.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Dad, if I say shit or somethin... Dad: FALCOWN PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANCH!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Friends are like snowflakes When you pee on them they disappear

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's worse than the Holocaust? A worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

how do you make your mom mad? mushroom stamp her face

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A duck walks into a grocery store. He looks at the shopkeeper, who then grabs a broom and shoos him back outdoors.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

I now pronounce you man and lion. You may now kiss the pride.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How many Jews does it take to fill a shower? As many as it does to fill an ash tray.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What kind of cat has no tail? Manx cat

thumb_up thumb_down +42

You want to hear a joke? Adobe Flash Player.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what's worse than finding an worm in your apple? Finding HALF a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

I don't always finish my sentences but when I do...

thumb_up thumb_down -8

knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A dentist, a librarian, a construction worker, a gynecologist, a zookeeper, a shoemaker, a terrorist, a politician, a cyclist, a truck driver, a kangaroo, a Mexican, a blonde, a Jewish black guy, a Honda Civic, a monkey, a penguin, an FBI agent, a stock broker, a president of a foreign country, a CEO of a very wealthy company regarding AIDS, a founder of one of top downloaded apps in the market, a chief executive, a cook, a waitress, a priest, a nun, a little boy, a fairy, a dinosaur, and a skeleton walks into a bar. There's no punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

How much hard work does it take to become a man? To get to the other side!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why did you read this anti-joke? because you typed in antijoke on google or have the app on a phone

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what do you do when you forget to do your math homework? kill your teacher

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How did the old man die? His family locked him in the basement and then burned the house

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops