One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

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What did the cow say to the butcher? At least I'm not a Jew.

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Q: why did Suzie drop her ice cream? A: because she got hit by a bus.. Q:knock knock who's there? A: not Suzie

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Two babies wonder off from their home. They die of starvation because there parents could not find them in time.

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How does a bird grow gills if you're riding a peanut. A fridge.

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Knock knock I don't play games, go away! Knock knock How did you get in my house? Knock knock Stay back I have a weapon! Knock knock What are you!!! Knock knock Oh god, someone please help! Knock knock What do you want, I can give you money. Knock knock Just don't hurt my family, please. Knock knock!!! WHO'S THERE!!! I am.

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Knock Knock. READ THE DAMN SIGN IT SAYS NO SOLICITORS!!! ... yeah.

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how does cody get laid? he doesnt.

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Q: How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? A: They beat her.

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How many Bedouins do you need to change a light bulb? 2, one is changing the bulb and the second is powering the generator.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who let the chickens out?!

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What's big, green, has 4 legs, and if it falls out of a tree will kill you? A pool table

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A woman is getting in the shower but the the doorbell rings so she puts on her towel and gets the door a man is there asking for sugar. Then she gets back into the shower then the doorbell rang again so she puts on her towel and anwsers the door another man is there he asked for some batteries she gave him some and went back to the shower. Then she hears the doorbell again she thought since there wasn't anybody else that lived on her street she decided to just go to the door without her towel so she answers the door thinking the blindmans there and it was the police man.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like pancakes Ouch! That hurt!

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Chuck Norris was walking down the street when he was confronted by an armed, very desperate street robber. Chuck unfortunately made the decision to defend himself, and was shot in the gut before he could complete a roundhouse kick. The robber then took his wallet and ran off, undoubtedly to buy drugs.

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how do you kill a blond? there are many ways but every one of them is illegal and could be criminally chargeable.

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What did pikachu say when his trainer was murdered? Pikachu.

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A penis takes a trip to spain, he falls in love with an apple and proceeds to commit suicide

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Two scientists walk into a bar. One says "I'll have H20", the other says "I'll have a beer." The first one is the one to drive them to their homes.

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Why did the guy in the ferrari stop? -He hit the median at 100mph.

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You throw nothing like your mother; she is actually really good at throwing.

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Why did Romney loose the election? Because Obama had more votes

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I SHOT SOMEBODY!!!! Said no stormtrooper ever.

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KANE AUDITIONS FOR BRITAINS GOT TALENT SIMON COWEL REAPES HIM

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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