What do you call a black scuba diver... A scuba diver.

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"One fish, two fish, red fish, the holocost." -Dr. Seuss

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A Scotsman, an Irishman and an Englishman walk into a bar... They enjoy their drinks and leave.

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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?white vans

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what do you call gingers ugly.

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What do you call a lion eating a gazelle? the food chain.

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What's the difference between 31 dead hookers and a Lamborghini? One is a traumatizing tragedy that left at least 31 poor families mourning for their loved ones, whom were only trying to make a living in what is a terrible economy and were unable find a better job, and the other is an overpriced sports car.

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to go well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that when his wife was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas, despite that the tank was full and she only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrendous car accident that caused the fuel to empty and catch fire. Mary survived but their 6 month old baby was killed.

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What's green and has wheels? PAIN!!! I lied about the green and the wheels.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was hit by a car.

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A boy walks up to a girl he finds attractive and says "You're body's kick'in! ... i mean...hey, do you know karate?"

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Why did the woman make so many sandwiches? She was a mother catering for her child's sporting event.

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A paraplegic women falls off a boat. Regardless of the fact that she was wearing a properly inflated flotation device, she still managed to drown. She died instantly, the next day.

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What would Abraham Lincoln do if he were alive today? Scream and scratch at the lid of his coffin.

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What do u call a man pointing a gun at you? A man with an anger issue

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Why didn't Charlie Sheen lose? Because he's always winning.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No, he hasn't either

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Why did the Nazi doctor drown a Jew in the lake? Because he felt like it.

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Knock Knock I have a door bell It's broken Oh

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his village has been ravaged by small pox.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Billy. Oh, come on in. You could have just knocked on my door or rang doorbell without saying "Knock Knock" though, that's kind of childish.

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What did the autistic man say to the woman? I have autism

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what rhymes with sloth? -RaPe-

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How do you teach an old dog a new trick? Answer: You can't

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops