What's worse then a missed call from your dad? A missed call from your mom.

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Why is the boy lying down on the floor? The chandelier fell on him.

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What did Britney Spears say to the Mexican? Hit me baby Juan more time.

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What is funnier than dead babies? Dead babies aren't funny, Carlos Mencia and Tom Bergeron are funny.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Given the unlikely circumstance in which an elephant actually does sit on your fence, it is equally unlikely said elephant would be able to do so unseen by witnesses, of whom you may ask what time the event occurred. Assuming your witness thought to look at the time befor calling animal control.

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whats round red and taste like candy? such a thing doesn't exist

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Door! He then broke down into tears as the nightmares from his schizophrenia had lead to a severely crippled mental state.

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If there are four gay men that come into a bar and need to sit down when all you have is one stool; what do you do? Get three more stools.

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What does a gay horse eat? Other gay horses.

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Yes. Just Yes.

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Why did the door close on little Timmy? He was getting gang raped.

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roses are red violets are blue get out of my face before i kill you

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Roses are red Zombies are hungry and blue My brain is half-eaten And what about you?

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Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

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A horse walks into a bar. The Bartender says "Why the long face?" The Bartender is then put into a lunatic asylum for hallucinating and trying to communicate with said hallucinations.

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3 women are on a plane. One blonde, one brunnete, and the other a red head. The pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. The 3 women find out that there is only one parachute in the plane. The plane crashes and they all die.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs going down a mountain? A: As good as dead.

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How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

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Why can't Hellen keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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Your momma is so fat that she is a plus size model and gets paid very well for modeling. Good for her.

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What's worse than 10 babies in a trashcan? One baby in 10 trashcans.

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Why did the dog chase the cat. Cause he was fking hungry

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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Why did the mouse cross the road? Because he had been attached to the chicken with a nail gun.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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