How does a Chinese person wear a contact lens? On a 45 degree angle

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A jew, a catholic and a muslim walk into a bar. The catholic man dies of a massive heart attack and the other two men mourn their friend for weeks.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

When life hands you lemons, Squeeze them in the eyes of children

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the little boy want to be when he grew up? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

People, so yeah Nero7 is alive, but for the first time in history this site is crashing because too many are posting questions here, so I will try answering some for you, the name is Joker2 and I am one of the administrators at point zero. Nero7 is alive and, according to himself well, but physically he can barely walk and stutters in pain, and yes we are six million followers in total. Otherwise his condition is stable, and no, he is not dying in six years (because) that is also part of the coding you will need to access our site (it might have sounded a bit too dramatic in order for some of you to understand its part of the code) Do not post questions or comments regarding our activity on any other section, we do not want that kind of attention, so stop it or we will have to cut you off, Nero can and will answer questions, but please one at the time, its clogging this crappy server, besides Nero can only answer one person at the time as far as I am aware off.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are red, violets are red, daffodils are yellow, and pansies are pink.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What made the old man laugh? A pile of dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What kind of party doesn't have cake? The Nazi Party.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Why did the blonde go to law school? She was sick of people assuming that she was not an intelligent woman due to negative sterotypes about her gender and hair color and set out to prove said people wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he has a great career and a loving family.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Too tired to come up with the definition, by the way, it was I that came up with the code system you guys use, so I kinda knew long ago that you lied to me when you said you do not use passwords,

thumb_up thumb_down -24

No.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he thought he saw a dangerous predator in the area and crossed the road in an attempt to flee the dangerous situation.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the bartender cry when a construction worker ordered a Jack and Coke? His son Jack had run away five years ago to sell cocaine; his father hadn't seen him since.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A boy orders a sandwich at a restaurant. He then questions the cashier about it. Boy: Excuse me, Why is my sandwich so bad? Cashier: Sorry, none of our women cooks were in today.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you get an asian out of a rice field? Napalm.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress why is there all this blank space?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was the woman in the kitchen? She came in to give her husband, who was washing the dishes, a kiss before she went to bed early so she could be well rested and get up on time to make the 45 minute commute to the hospital where she worked as a neurosurgeon the next morning.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

the blue man livedin the blue house the black man in the black house the white man in the white house but who lived in the white house ,not the white man barack obama

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the woman cross the road? She didn't. They are no roads in the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Every first letter of an innappropriate body part is how it actually looks like: Penis, Vagina, Boobs

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the alcoholic Indian do? Continued to drink and further worsen his people's stereotype.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Making jokes about 9/11 is just plane wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops