How do you get Doctor Phil in a bikini? Give him a little alcohol to ease inhibitions and offer him a suitable bribe.

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Knock... Knock... Who's there? AIDS.

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What's the difference between a mole and dynamite? - Moles don't explode... unless you fill them with dynamite.

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Why does Bugs Bunny have big ears? Because he's a rabbit

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What's worse than getting punched in the balls? Many things inflict more pain than that

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a pedophile.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Animal cruelty

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what did the boy in the blue hat do? wear his blue hat

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yo momma is so stupid she went and got her self checked for mental retardedness and it turns out she happens to be autistic.

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There once was a mountain climber. He loved to climb mountains. He had climbed all of the world's tallest peaks...except Mount Everest. So, one day he decides to climb Mount Everest. He takes weeks and weeks to prepare himself. He trains and trains three times a day till he thinks he is ready to climb Mount Everest. Climbing up it takes forever. It feels like it has been days in the dreary cold. Finally, he reaches the peak. It is a glorious occasion. On the way down, a huuuuge storm rolls in. He falls down a cliff and breaks both of his legs. The pain is unbearable. He screams and screams but no one hears him. Finally after what seems like days, a group of monks find him and carry him to their monastery. Chapter Two Once the man wakes up he thanks the monks for saving his life. They give him a room, food, and nice clothes. Every night in his room, he hears a banging behind his dresser. It is really loud and he is quite annoyed by it. The next morning he asked the head monk what the noise is. The head monk says " I cannot tell you, you aren't a monk." He hears the banging noise every night. HE asks the head monk every morning but he always says he cant tell him because he isn't a monk. So the climber decides to become a monk. After years and years of training to become a monk, he finally becomes one. Chapter Three So he says to the head monk, " I am a monk, so now can you tell me?" The head monk replies, " I can't tell you, but i can help show you. So he pushes the drawer back and reveals a little door, He gives the man a lantern and says to go through it. The man goes through the door into a little, dark tunnel, eager to finally find out what the noise was. He crawls for what seems like hours and hours and hours and days and days and days and days. He finally gets to the door where the banging noise is and opens the door. What he sees amazes him. Do you want to know what the banging noise was? I cant tel you, you aren't a monk!

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Roses are read Violets are not green Chicken is good KFC baby, time to get lean

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I once bought a pack of batteries but they weren't included.

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BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH

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Knock Knock Who's there? ImBrewn

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What do you call a black man eating fried chicken? A black man eating fried chicken.

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What do you call a man man with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean? Bob(he is bobbing in the water)

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saftey torch you can out it on the porch. saftey torch put it in the hallway. saftey torch scare the monsters away. saftey torch that'll be 50 bucks.

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It's not ok to have intercourse with a woman who say's "No!" But what about "Let go of me!"?

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Why did the black man not tip his waiter? Because she provided terrible service and was undeserving.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Hitler.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because it is very unsafe for blind individuals to operate motor vehicles.

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Q: Wgat did Batman say to Robin before Robin got in the car? A: "Robin, get in the car"

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why did the boy fall off his bike? because his mum through a fridge at him

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Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness ... Hello?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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