A man was walking along and got his legs shot off. He then proceeded to calm his wife and children and buy a wheelchair.

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How do you become thinner in a week? Stand in front of a Bulldozer.

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you and then wash my hands directly after because boogers are gross

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what does a blue watermelon and a cactus that looks like a penis have in common? orange ya glad i didn't say banana!

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What rhymes with turtle? Rape

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DERP

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because her grandfather hit her with a wrench.

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Fine, Nero7 made sure I got to a safe place at least. My code is "Eliza", that is all, please provide me with whatever information you can regarding what happened, and while I read you are not shy of graphical detail, I ask that you keep it lightly, Nero7 meant much to me, please. -"Veronica.

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eden stop

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Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? They do. In fact, seagulls can be found near almost any body of water.

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Q: What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? A: His name.

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mitchell palmer sucks

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A gorilla walks into a bar and order a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is a little peculiar and then becomes aware he is actually dreaming. He wakes up from his dream and begins to tell his wife about the ridiculous dream he had. His wife just ignores him, the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes his marriage is in shambles.

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kk

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Ebola, You're going to die.

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List of people I love: Hitler Stalin Mussolini Ted Bundy Charles Manson Hannibal Lecter Vladamir Putin Satan Justin Beiber One Direction Chris Brown Chris Brown's parents Oh, and my mother. I love my mother, too.

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How do you drown a blonde? You hold her head under water until water gets into her lungs and she cant breathe.

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What's brown and sticky? Syrup.

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side.

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How is a raven like a writing desk? It isn't.

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lol

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What did the latino say when he was struck over the head with a shovel? "ouch"

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A blind deer.

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Q: What's worse than falling off a mountain A: Falling off a mountain into a pile of spikes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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