A man walks into a bar and orders a sprite. Everyone in the bar looks and him funny and then laughs. He then tells them, "I would rather satisfy myself with a cool lemon-lime drink than put the poisonous toxins of alchohol into my blood stream."

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How do you stop a run-away bus? You sit down in the driver's seat and gently place your foot on the brake pedular and proceed to press it down. The brake pads, located in the calipers, will squeeze the brake discs and slow the bus eventually to stop at the crosswalk for the old lady accompanied by a young boy scout to cross the street and continue their wonderful lives.

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Why was the girl crying? She got kicked in the vagina

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Send creepy emails to this email address: matt.harrington@highlandcatholic.org

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more like nig!

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot

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How did the drug addict die? He got shot in a drive-by.

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You know what makes me smile? Facial muscles.

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What is a black person's favorite food? It varies from person to person, just as with any race.

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two men where hunting one man shot a deer and ate it, the other man shot the man who killed the deer and made human steaks. a day later he killed his family. and ate them with his dog. he then grabbed the deer that was left in his fridge and used it to make a fire.

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Fish don't run.

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What did the bi-polar girl do when she found our her ex-boyfriend was living with another woman? Nothing; she was happy for their new relationship and realized life moves on, in addition to taking the daily appropriate amount of medication prescribed by her doctor.

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up

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whats dirtier than lady gaga's penis in justin bieber's vagina? nothing.

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why was the kid laying in the middle of the baseball field? he was shot in the face then mauled by a bear.

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Q: Are you a tree? A: No.

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What do you call a Mexican jumping fences? A really good athlete.

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Four homosexuals walk into a bar. They notice that there's only one stool left at the bar itself. They sat at a table with four chairs. They had a delightful time.

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Two guys are walking down the street. One asks the other "Nice weather today, huh?" And the other responds "It sure is," and they both continue on with their days.

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Why did the fish look like a human? Because it was a person, drowning.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. This of course is impossible, as his ailments prevent him from walking.

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Why cant white guys jump? Well that would be wrong because some can. Have you seen Blake Griffen?

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What happened when the engineering student studied for a physics final? They failed.

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Don't you hate it when you have 5 dead bodies, and you don't know which one to shoot your load on? -no

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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