> Why wasn't the chicken able to cross the road? > Because he had severe autism and was Ambulophobic.

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Where do dizzy cows go? In circles...

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You know what's lame? A person who can't walk.

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Whats up with your nan? Copious amounts of lsd

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What kind of shots I'd John take at night? Insulin, because he's a diabetic.

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Why is Ellen so funny? Because she is a comedian.

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A plane crashes on the border of canada and america, where do you bury the survivors? I lied there are no survivors and the bodies were incinerated by burning jet fuel so theres nothing to bury.

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i read the terms of service when i posted this

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How was my day, you ask? First of all, I don't own a day. And second of all, it hasn't ended.

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What has five balls and hates Mexicans? The lottery.

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How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, it's not that hard.

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Why was Samantha crying? Because her hair got stuck in a fan.

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A man walks into a bar. He gets drunk, goes home, and beats his wife and kids.

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Wanna hear a Harry Potter joke? Knock Knock Who's there? You know You know who?

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What is red and has two legs? Half a cat.

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A man takes a bite into a tuna casserole and burns his tounge. He is also a hermaphradite.

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A young girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

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Why does the girl continue to cry repetently everyday? Because she found out she was diagnosed with terminal cancer.

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Someone thinks Justin Bieber is strait

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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Q)Why doesn't the blond have a job? A) he is 12

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What did the man give his wife for her anniversary? Nothing. The man is a raging alcoholic and forget her anniversary due to his high alcoholic intake during the past few weeks. Even if he did remember he most likely didn't care after seeing his wife cheat on him with another woman putting his marriage into shambles.

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Penis

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Knock knock Who's there? Bob Bob who? Bob Matthews.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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