When life gives you a pack of Kools, make Kool-Aid.

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What's the difference between a smashed watermelon and a dead black person? One is a minor slip of the hands and the other is a fatal accident involving a human being.

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What's purple, smells like an eggplant, and looks like an eggplant? An eggplant.

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why is everyone always picking on ruth? because they just do

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What has 4 legs and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you a pool table

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One dark, stormy night, there was a man, limping slowly down the road. He looked across the road and noticed a little girl on a park bench. He carefully moved around behind , creeped up, and slowly tapped her on the shoulder. I tap 2 tap 3 tap The little girl slowly turned her head, and as she did, the man uttered 3 sentences.... "Would you mind helping me get back to my apartment, my hand was cut off in the war, while I was serving my country, which is why I have a hook as opposed to a hand. I was heading back to my apartment to greet my wife and 2 little children, since I just got back from a long day's work at the soup kitchen, helping those in need, and I sprained my ankle. By the way, my name I John Thompson."

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What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I was diagnosed as criminally insane Wanna be my friend?

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What do you call a black man jumping off a bridge? Suicide.

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Don't you hate it when your reading a sentence and it doesn't end how you testicles.

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What's the same between a plane a bird and a piece of celery? They all fly except the celery

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Q. how to kill the germ on a food. A. wash it with bleach.

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Why didn't the lactose intolerant man get a drink at the bar? He was the designated driver.

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A boy askes santa for a baby brother. Santa says give me your mom.

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chuck norris's daughter lost her virginity but he got it back

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Why did lil' Jimmy fall off his bike? The weight ratio between the left and right sections of his body became uneven due to some sort of change in the traction of the tires to the bumps on the road/ path.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? Still a pilot.

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What do you get when you stab a four year old in the chest 57 times A dead body

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Why couldnt the old man ski? There was no snow.

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What's the difference between a whale and an elephant

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Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist that doesn't believe in god? His disorder has no effect on his belief system.

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How do you know when there's a terrorist in an airport? There's a camel in the parking lot.

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What happened to the boat that sank? Everyone on it died

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What happened to the lady? She queefed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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