A baby seal walks into a club.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm schizophrenic. And so am I!

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There's a black, afghan, and a rhabi. Which one is Obama?

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Your mom is so ignorant that she in completely unaware how the premature termination of QE2 in conjunction with a potential US credit downgrade could substantially impact her fixed income portfolios and hinder her ability to retire in the desired time frame.

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If X = 3 and Y = 7, what is X + Y = ? It doesn't matter. You forgot to put your name on the test which means you got an automatic fail.

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How do we achieve world peace? KILL EVERYBODY. Nobody can fight when they're dead.

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What did the stop sign say to the no smoking sign? Stop

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Jacob Black and Edward Cullen show up at your house. You tell your best girl friend and she has you admitted to a psych ward because everyone knows they are fictional characters!

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What did the black kid get for his birthday? A bike, just what he asked for.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Suzy.

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#If you go down in the woods today, your sure of a big surprise #If you go down in the woods today, you better go in disguise. # I don't know why, I started typing this out and realized I couldn't actually come up with a suitable concluding line.

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Why did the elephant die? It was murdered by poachers for it's valuable ivory tusks.

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theres a kitten stuck in a tree, whats wrong? it's dead

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NOTICE: If you have noticed this notice then you will have noticed this notice is not worth being noticed

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a man was cooking a tortilla. what did he say when he dropped it while flipping the tortilla? oops i dropped my tortilla

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womens rights

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What did the French-Italian couple name their child? Angelo Pierre Smith, giving tribute to the father's uncle Angelo, and the mother's great-grandfather, Pierre.

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''Levi Johnston is running for mayor of Wasilla, Alaska. Ironically, many of the babies he'll kiss on the campaign trail will be his own.''

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Why is Taylor sad? Because she's the middle of a human centipede.

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Sure, I like all kinds of Juice. -Apple Jews -Grape Jews -Orange Jews The list goes on,,,

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Anal

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Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

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A Knock, Knock B There's no door. What are you knocking on?

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What does a muslim do on a plane? Flies to his intended destination without causing a problem.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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