Why did The Chicken cross The Road? The Chicken was a new drug dealer to town and he did a deal with The Road , the town's existing drug dealer (they used these nicknames to hide their identities), but then back stabbed him to try and take the whole area for himself. Money and Power, as always.

What's the difference between 50 dead babies and a three-course meal? One of them can feed me for a day and the other is a three-course meal.

Gladly, you sound very confident, makes me happy. Well, doctors thought I had ADHD (go figure) but I am pretty calm outside the internet, then they went with ADD, but since my attention is twofold, this meaning that I can get a lecture, while noticing a toothpick falling on the other side of the room (noticing as in perceiving with focus not necessarily listening but you know, seeing from the corner of ones eye) Yet still focus well enough to get the lecture in details. So its not split focus such as in ADD, but dual, as in me being able to think about two things at once, but also burning out extremely fast, which again, is far from ADD.

roses are red violets are blue i am retarded i like pancakes

Tim is a bald headed prick with an annoying voice and he looks like a clean shaven Walter White if he was on the same drugs that he was making and he looks like he smokes too much because the wrinkles on his forehead look like lips.

Q) Why is there no aspirin in the jungle? A) Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest A) Real Joke : Because the parrots-eat-em-all

Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Good. The food I placed in the refrigerator a few hours ago will now be cold.

In Soviet Russia! People were much more finacially secure than they are now.

Q: Why was little Timmy afraid of clowns? A: The one at his birthday party killed his parents.

Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

What did the man in the mirror say to the other man The Same F****** Thing!!

Knock, knock. Who's there? Me, your friend George! You don't remember me! Oh. Sorry. I'm kidding. I'm a robber.

What has two legs and bleeds between them? The back half of a dog with a deep cut in its belly.

Roses are red Violets are blue This is a poem The End

Chuck Norris never shows emotion!!!... because he is a pragmatic person and thinks in a more logical manner.

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cancer.

A random guy walks into your house and says hi. You say SHUTUP

roses are gray, violets are gray, Im a dog

What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing, hes Jewish.

What is the difference between a Camel And a Strawberry? A strawberry is red.

A man walks into a bar and the barman says "Why the long face?" And the man replies "I am severely deformed".

What happens when two jews meet in the bus ? I don't know, but I'm pretty sure it's not worth telling a joke about that.

Why did the guy go to the store? He really doesn't want you to know every detail of his life.

Then I contracted bronchitis from the smoke. Unfortunately I don't not have time to visit a doctor to mend this debilitation. In fact, nobody does.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...