Why does Obama not want to get buried? because he's still alive

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Want to hear a joke? I'm sorry.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm random but can still rhyme Hatsune Miku

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Why couldn't Timmy ride a bicycle? Because Timmy was a goldfish

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What Did Gretel say to Hansel? Stop having sex with Ariana Grande!

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Question: What is worse then a worm in your apple? Answer: A number of different things I would imagine...

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None.

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yo mama's so fat, we are all extremely concerned about her health

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How do you wake a sleeping bear? Kick it.

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Did you hear about the circus fire? It was intense

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What did the oak tree say to the pine tree? Nothing tress dont speak regardless of the kind.

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Why didnt the boy eat his ice cream? Because he is dairy intolerant

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Where did Sheyanne go during the bombing...... Everywhere

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If your reading this, youre not blind.

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Horton Hears... Rape and violence and doesn't do anything about it.

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Hey, you know what would be funny? A joke.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a retarded failure

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- Why the black people smell? - To let even the blind person hate them.

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A woman walking alone through a poor area of town. She is approached by a man who proceeds to mug her, rape her, and murder her.

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A blonde walks into a store and asks for the microwave behind the counter. The man behind the register promptly hands her the microwave and charges her $435 for it, which is utterly ridiculous.

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Knock Knock Who's there Boo Boo who Boo I'm a ghost atleast act scared

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Yo mama so old, she used to babysit Dumbledore

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A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

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What's funny and looks like a fish? A clown fish

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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