What happens when you combine a chainsaw and a baby? 30 years to life

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So a cat walks into a bar and orders a bowl of milk. The bartender, realizing that cats cannot talk nor do they posses higher brain functions, realizes he must be dreaming.

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What's worse than rain on your birthday? Dying

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What does a blonde say when she walks into a bar? Ow

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why did the chicken cross the road. why? because he felt like it

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Why is facebook ruining all of the world's social skills? Because Mark Zuckerberg has Asperger's.

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How did the man know he was gay? Australia is full of kangaroos

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A jew, a black man, a muslim, an atheist, a christian, a catholic, a roman, a russian, a cuban, an english man, a horse, a cow boy, a gay, a lesbian, a dancer, a teacher, a father, a mayor, a politician and a fish are in a bar. Now that's one crowded bar.

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Whats brown and a fag? A bundle of sticks

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Your mumma is so fat she was mistaken for an opera singer in a quite awkward confrontation. she was embarrassed and walked out crying

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Roses are Red Violets are Red Grass is Red Trees are Red My yard is on fire.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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What do you call an indian driving a plane? A pilot.

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What is green, brown, has four legs and would kill you if it fell on you from out of a tree? A pool table

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Knock, knock. Who's There? The Fire Department...

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I was dropped on my head as a baby, kjhgfiehcgbfbjebfiuheggfcug

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shut up

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What's worse than one bee sting? 2 bee stings. What's worse than 2 bee stings? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? 3 bee stings.

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Q. What is a deaf man's favorite song? A. Nothing, because he can not hear.

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What's the best part about Africa? Nothing.

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whats the same about a spider and a grape? they both have eight legs, except for the grape.

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What do you do when you see an elephant with a basket ball? Engage in play - if the elephant is playing with a basket ball it is most likely domesticated, and if it has toys it's probably well treated. Well-treated elephants raised in captivity are tolerant, sociable, intelligent and playful.

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What do you call a chicken with no head? A chicken with no head.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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