Knock knock Who's there No one We are all on the computer

thumb_up thumb_down -12

If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock Knock Who's There? You don't know me, but I just hit a car parked on the street outside your house and I believe its yours, we should exchange information

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Whats black and hanging from a tree in my backyard? A tire swing

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A mercenary was sent from the US to kill a terrorist leader. He was captured by the terrorists but wouldn't give away any information. They beat him, shocked him, cut him, and punched him in a dark room with a light beaming right down on him like a spotlight. It was a grueling five long days until they said "We know you have the information we want, tell us or you will die!" The mercenary sat in silence. They took out a gun and pointed it to his head. The mercenary then broke down and told the terrorists the information they wanted to hear. The terrorists then shot him to death.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Getting up for a black person on a buss

thumb_up thumb_down -26

whats brown and stickey? a brown stick

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the white man go to jail? He broke the law.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Q. What is the worlds biggest lie A. I have read and agree to the terms of service ?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Your friend is so retarded I am getting a bit worried and his mother should take him to get tested for mental retardation.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's long, hard and full of seamen? A submarine.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why was the man bad at football? - he is chad henne

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is the meaning of life? Definitions of life on the Web: a characteristic state or mode of living; "social life"; "city life"; "real life" the experience of being alive; the course of human events and activities; "he could no longer cope with the complexities of life" the course of existence of an individual; the actions and events that occur in living; "he hoped for a new life in Australia"; "he wanted to live his own life without interference from others" animation: the condition of living or the state of being alive; "while there's life there's hope"; "life depends on many chemical and physical processes" the period during which something is functional (as between birth and death); "the battery had a short life"; "he lived a long and happy life" the period between birth and the present time; "I have known him all his life" the period from the present until death; "he appointed himself emperor for life" a living person; "his heroism saved a life" liveliness: animation and energy in action or expression; "it was a heavy play and the actors tried in vain to give life to it" living things collectively; "the oceans are teeming with life" the organic phenomenon that distinguishes living organisms from nonliving ones; "there is no life on the moon" biography: an account of the series of events making up a person's life a motive for living; "pottery was his life" life sentence: a prison term lasting as long as the prisoner lives; "he got life for killing the guard"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Hey I just met you and this is crazy, but Im on bath salts, and you're face looks tasty;)

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man walks in to a bar, and the Bartender says "Why the long face?" The man replies "My wife is dying of Terminal Cancer".

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A. Big feet, you know what that means B. He has to order his shoes on line because they don't carry his size in stores.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's behind Chuck Norris' beard? His chin

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why does a black man break into a car? Because he had closed the windows and locked his keys inside.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What do you call a man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk? A man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did Steven Hawkings say as he fell down the stairs? .................

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What happened when a terrorist puts a bomb in a hospital? Everyone dies cause it was a hospital for crippled people

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what's black, long, and moves around a lot? a van.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q. Why cant Stephen Hawking walk into a bar? A. Because he suffered being paralyzed and is unable to walk. So theoretically speaking it is impossible to walk when paralyzed and in a wheelchair unless the victim is out of his or her wheelchair. Please note that the chances of walking when paralyzed are extremely slim.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock knock! Who's there? Fed-Ex. We have a package for you.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops