Yo dawg, I heard you like cars. Thats cool, whats your favorite one?

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what's worse then the holocaust finding a worm in your apple.

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what does a human and a bucket of red paint have in common? . . Both are not tigers

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Why can't stars marry? Because they are masses of incandescent gas and thus have no feelings.

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yo mommas so ugly that as a child she was often teased for her looks.

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wheres a good place to find funny jokes? anti-joke.com

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What the difference between a car and a dead child I dont have a car in the basement

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A

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One Zebra and One Elephant was walking in the desert, the Zebra said its hot and the elephant said i know.

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What do you get when you mix a polar bear and a dog? A dead dog.

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What does a homeless man get for his birthday? 25 cents

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? reading posts on this website that arent antijokes. Seriously poeople... you cant just say something that random than put something tragic. it has to be funny and tragic.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. It started raining and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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What happens to the yellow hat when it is thrown into the red sea? It get's wet.

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Q. What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in front of a door? A. Matt

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a terrorist walks into a bank and says "gimme all the money or ill kill you" the bank owner said you and what army the terrorist said this army and no one came in buuuut he opened hi jacket and there was a bomb straped to him then he exploded it Buuuuuuut in hell he thinks hang on a minute i didn't get my money oh for goodness sake Buuuuuuuuuuut in heaven the bank man said i still live in a wonderfull place and anywhay we had no money left and i was going to suiside soooooooooooooooooooooooo you done me a favour and if i would of suiside i could of gone to hell but you killed me so i edidnt go to hell buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut you did lol by the way i just wasted your time

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MR MR WHO?? MR MC CANN

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What's the best part of twenty one year old's? Their bodies have matured enough that the U.S. government deems it safe for them to consume alcoholic beverages with proper I.D.

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What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? One if part of the four main food groups, and one is not.

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What's plastic and kids turn it on... A xbox.

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A: Knock Knock. B: ... A: Knock Knock. B: ... A: I guess nobody's home. (leaves.)

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why did the photographer take so many pictures? Because he gets paid.

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A Vietnam war veteran accidentally goes to a Vietnamese concert and says, "I could take a lot of them down with me."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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