Why couldn't Matilda walk to school? Because a dog ripped her legs off.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Did you hear about the guy who did a backflip off the cliff? He died

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you get when you multiply a trillion times a billion times a quintillion? A huge ass number.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Pandas Everywhere!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? 2 Survived.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

My dog poops u pick it up if i poop ill say f@#% you eat it DumbS%^&

thumb_up thumb_down -19

When does the Trogdor come? In the Niiiiighhhttttt.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

one man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. when he was drinking the beer he choked and died

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How does a black man make an anti joke? www.anti-joke.com/submit

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A white man asks a black man, "Did you fall into a chimney?" and laughs. The man proceeds to wash off his hands and face to reveal beautiful, dark-brown skin. Then they both joke about it because they are best friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: Why does the man smell so bad? A: He doesn't shower

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's the best type of silence in a family? None, all families should be open in communication.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the difference between Colonel Sanders and a barrel of olives? Colonel Sanders isn't in a barrel.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

In an effort to bond, the American president and North Korean Supreme Leader place a bet on a football game. If the President was correct, the Supreme Leader would have to buy them a drink, and vice versa. The game is close but in the end the President's bet wins. He asks for the drink, but the Supreme Leader refuses. An argument breaks out, and lasts for several hours. Eventually the Supreme Leader becomes too infuriated, and leaves. So the next day, North Korea declares war on America and launches nuclear missiles towards them, millions of lives are lost, and the world descends into anarchy.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

an american an asian and a jihadist got on a train where did they go no where as the jihadist was strapped to c4

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what do you call a black man on the moon? Kid Cudi

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man walks into a bar.. and has a bomb strapped to his chest

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A black man and an asian woman have a baby. Then a hispanic and a native american have a baby. Their babies have a baby. What is the baby? Society's worst nightmare.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What do you call a pool filled with black people? A pool

thumb_up thumb_down -4

2 drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. Bu dum, cshhhh.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what is the best part about sleeping with twenty six year olds? they are usually very experienced in sexual intercourse so there isn't much awkwardness

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops