Why'd I have sex with your mom? I'm your father and I love your mother very much

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I jizzed in my pants. It tasted good

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What do you call a man who burns his country's flag on it's independence day? Unpatriotic

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Why did the boy stay in the closet? Because the door was locked.

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What will you be doing right before you die? ... ... living.

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Henry: Say the word "really". Moe: Really. Henry: Now say the word "really" with sarcasm. Moe: Really? Henry: More sarcasm! I want you to be very sarcastic! Moe: Oh really??? Henry: There ya go!

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Yeah, just went for more ice, its hot as hell here, and yeah its the weather, I dont mind you using valium, is that the same as Xanax? My mum uses it sometimes, she is afraid of heights and well, has to fly a lot so its complicated, if you dont mind, I have always wanted to know more about you so shall we?

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Michael J Fox may not be able to draw a perfect circle but he sure can jerk off like a champ

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Roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and so are you, but the rose are wilted the violets are dead the sugar is lumpy and so is your head.

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What's worse than finding half a sticker in your apple Half a worm

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What's red and can't find a family? A fire hydrant

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Whats the difference between a Corvette and 1000 dead babies? I don't have a Corvette in my garage.

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what do you get if you cross a scotsman , who knows nothing about football and a indian? Blackburn rovers, and a good night out

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Trees are like friends. They both fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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What happened to the teacher? He taught his students.

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What's black and white and red all over? A dying zebra.

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Yo mama so dirty when she takes baths there are rings.

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whats up with the irish jokes? Honestly im not a alcoholic so all of you can go F*** yourselfs...

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why cant the black guy vote? because hes not 18 yet.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I'm not sure, but the farmer must be very upset about the loss of one of his chickens.

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If a woman was born in China, raised in France and got married and died in New Orleans, what is she? Dead.

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haha. i got blocked too!!!!

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A man walks into a bar, and says "ow."

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Why from a friends phone? I demand a full explanation, here, you got my number, you got my home address, and who the hell was that crying little bitch on the phone? I got friends in the UK which owe me some money, and nothing to lose, if I have to take care of you before you take care of me and even possibly my wife in the crossfire, I will take you down and everything in my path! Moral: Got ya!.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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