A man walks into a bar carrying a piece of asphalt under his arm. The bartender says, "We don't serve construction workers here."

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Why did the asian lady buy the large shirt instead of the medium? Because the medium didn't fit

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i feel like when the radish was discovered someone was like "hey lets call it rad!" and another guy was like "lets dial it down a bit"

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If a tree falls on a woman, and no one is around to hear it, what is a tree doing in the kitchen?

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Just gonna stand there and watch me roar. But that's alright because I am a dinosaur.

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Why would a dog sniff another dog's butt hole? Because that is what they do.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. Your family is dead.

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What is orange and smells like a jewish cat. Nothing

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why was the pen mad at the pencil? it wasnt. objects don't have feelings

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Q: How did the black man get to the first branch on the tree? A: He climbed, like the average person.

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what is long black and smelly the welfare line

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Why did the stoner visit anti-joke.com? Because he was bored, and probably kinda high.

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So, I was eating out this girl Until I tasted something like horse semen. So I looked up at her and said; " Ah grandma, so that's how you died ! ".

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What did the kid with cancer get for Christmas?? -nothing, he didn't make it that far

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What's big, moves around everywhere, and has four wheels? four TEENS on four wheelers

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What do you call a bunch of white people walking down a cliff? Avalanche

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Last night, I went fishing, caught a fish, brought it home, grilled it, ate it, and went to bed.

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whats the difference between ebola and a can of dead babies? i have ebola. this isnt funny at all.

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A guy walks in to a bar and says to the bartender "I'm fed up with all these 'guy walks into a bar' jokes on anti-joke. The bartender says "I have no idea what you're talking about".

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A blonde runs into her house. She died in a tragic backdraft fire. Always check to see if the doorknob is warm.

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knock knock, whos there? the repo man.

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A Jew,Spiderman and The Incredible Hulk all jump off the top of the Empire State Building,who hits the ground first? The Jew because the other two dont exist

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What drink is dark yellow and freshly squeezed from one of the most healthy snacks? Piss.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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