Why did the boy fall out of his seat? He was being strangled with a piano wire.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a murderer.

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What does a Jew and an oven have in common? Bagels.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I don't like to rhyme Microwave.

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How did the Jew survive the Holocaust? Trick question he didn't

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dont be afraid of lard squeezing cause really its just me teasing

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What kind of doctors would you call A 30 year old chimpanzee? I would say "Plastic surgeon" but that would be unscrupulous to the chimpanzees because the tearing off or "lifting" of the owners face is because they are just animals. And should have never been kept in captivity that long anyways.

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whats funny? this joke. just kidding. your face.

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A plane crashed in the border of mexico and USA. Where do you bury the survivors? tell me in the thing bellow

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make me a sandwich! what kind?

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What do Michael Jordan and Michael Jackson have in common? The same first name.

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Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, living in the mountains? A: Cliff Q: What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs, living on the beach? A: Sandy Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: A victim of a serious crime, where murder was committed and the killer has a sick and twisted mind because he first cut off the man's arms and legs then nailed him to the wall with wooden pegs. Puppies.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Actually a lot because a pizza is a pizza andna Jew is a human.

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Two muffins are in an oven. Muffin 1: Gosh it's hot in here. Muffin 2: Holy Crap! A talking muffin!

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What`s red and smells like blue paint? A sunburned baby drinking green paint.

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THAT AWKWARD MOMENT... nuff said

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a murderer sees a young child left alone at a park... he promptly finds the childs mother and returns her to her home.

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Why didn't Johnny have any food left? Because he ate it all.

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If life gives you lemons, throw them at people.

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What do you call an African american in your back yard A slave (I am sorry this is racist)

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3 aliens landed on earth. They all wanted to learn english. The first alien went to an opera class and learned "mi mi mi mi mi." The second alien went to a military camp and learned "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The third alien went to a candy shop and learned "he stole my lollipop!" After all of that, they went to their spaceship and saw a dead man and a cop that said, "which one of you three killed this man?" The first alien said "mi mi mi mi mi." The cop said "what did you kill him with?" The second alien said "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The cop then said "why did you kill him?" The third alien said "he stole my lollipop!"

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What's big, white, and kills you if it falls out of a tree. A Fridge

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How do you stop a bus? Throw small children in front of it. Except it didn't work for the boy with ice cream.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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