how do you make a little girl cry?? Kill her family

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A kid walked into a bar and ordered a drink and then was arrested for drinking under the age of 18

thumb_up thumb_down

A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic and it's ruining his life.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

im jackson, i have a small willy, and like to finger my dog

thumb_up thumb_down -18

When life gives you melons, your dyslexic

thumb_up thumb_down +8

All I can say is that its not the feds, and not Interpol nothing "legal" nor anything belonging to the state as far as we can tell. You all stay locked up, and I will make sure this little geek with shitty breath does not say anything about you, as for the rest, I cant say much.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Whats long and black? The line at KFC.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog Woof.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

knock knock who's there? a murderer. a murderer who? a murderer who kills you and your family.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Two tubes of ice cream are sitting in a freezer, one turns to the other and says "its bloody freezing in here" God then corrects this apparent mistake in the combined laws of physics and biology

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the man throw his alarm clock out the window? Because he has anger management issues.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

My friend came out.....of the bathroom so I could shit

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did michael say to sam? (pedo face) YEH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

wsde

thumb_up thumb_down -7

knock knock... who's there? your grandmother, now please let me in it's very cold outside. *you now proceed to open the door for your grandmother as she is elderly and you dont want her to freeze

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Girls got to Jupiter to get more stupider. Boys go to Mars to build a sophisticated civilization.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's brown, smells like shit, and are annoying as hell? Taking shits

thumb_up thumb_down +6

ask me if im a fence are you a fence WALNUTS!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you kill half the Mexican population? through a penny of a cliff. How do you kill the other half? Tell them its still down there.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what did the tomato say when he was cut open? nothing, because vegetables are unable to speak

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How can you tell if someone is gay? It depends, sometimes they can be flamboyant or not. Actually, one could be straight and still be flamboyant, that's what makes the world less boring. Everyone is different, there's no surefire way of knowing, unless of course they tell you that they're gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How can you tell if a calendar is popular? From stock order lists and also from accounts records.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

whats the differance between a orange and a dead baby one is a delicious treat the other is a fruit

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops