Knock, Knock.. Whose there? Its the Census Man!!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why didn't the little boy get to go to the movies on his birthday? He was both blind and deaf, completely defeating the purpose of going to the movies.

thumb_up thumb_down

42

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why do they call you the interrup... SHUT UP!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call the alarm system in a failing inner-city school? A dumbbell!

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What did the person say to the other person? "Hello."

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What makes the turtle move? It's legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Q.Why was the man so fat A. because he had to much to eat

thumb_up thumb_down

I have a meeting with a man about a horse. I have a chance to win the triple crown. Barboro is gonna do awesome. Oh wait he is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why couldn't Jimmy ride his bike? Jimmy was a goldfish.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Women's Rights

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Two trains, on the same track, left different stations, and travelled in opposite directions. 74 people died.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why do people discriminate against black people? Because they show an undeserving amount of disrespect towards the rest of the world and why should they get anything better than what they offer.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q:What is the differenc between batman and a black man? A: Batman can go out in the night with out robin

thumb_up thumb_down +4

a little boy takes his lacrosse stick to his mom and says "hey mom this is bob" the mom says "hi bob" and she says to her son "does bob say hi back?" and the boy says "no mom. hes a lacrosse stick."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a bad joke? Unfunny.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

The chicken came before the egg. Because eggs are an unborn chicken, and it is impossible for an unborn chicken to ejaculate.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Knock Knock. Doors open

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do Jewish people celebrate Christmas? Jewish people do not celebrate Christmas, for Christmas is an annual commemoration of the birth of Jesus Christ, celebrated generally on December as a religious and cultural holiday by billions of people around the world. A feast central to the Christian liturgical year, it closes the Advent season and initiates the twelve days of Christmastide. Christmas is a civil holiday in many of the world's nations, is celebrated by an increasing number of people, and is an integral part of the Christmas and holiday season.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Q: What is the answer to 255 x 23? A: A number!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's sadder than a lost puppy? A dead puppy.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How do you get a blonde with one hand out of a tree? Grab a ladder and carry her down.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why can't Stephen Hawking go to the moon? He can, it would require a great sum of money, and extensive anti-gravity training.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What did one ginger say to the other? W are both gingers.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops