What do you do to a brain dead man to get his money? Pull the plug.

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A man dreamt that he was eating a marshmallow. He ate his dog.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? 2 Holocausts

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two muffins are sitting in an oven one muffin turns and says "boy it`s hot in here" the other muffin can`t bring himself to explain to the other they are about to be eaten alive.

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whats worse than a pile of dead babies? two piles of dead babies.

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whats worse then getting fired from your job? Getting raped by a giant gorilla with a 4 foot long penis following by being bitten by a very poisonous rattle snake and slowly dying a painful death.

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Whats big white and can't climb trees? A Fridge. Whats red and bad for your teeth? A Brick.

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All the other dinosaurs were laughing and teasing the tyrannosaurus because of his tiny arms. They left and the T.rex was sobbing uncontrollably next to a giant fern. "What's the matter little fellow?" said Jesus. The crying dinosaur looked down and said "I That's the end of my stupid puppet show, cuz I couldn't think of anything a blubbering dinosaur would say to our Lord and saviour.

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How many unicorns does it take to change a light bulb? 17. 11 if its Tuesday.

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Q: Did you hear about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air? A: She missed.

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What do you call a man with a shovel through his head? Unless he was carrying ID when he died; John Doe.

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There were 2 drunk men. Man 1:im planning to buy the world. man 2:you cant. man 1:why. man 2: cause im not gonna sell it.

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How do you kill yourself You jump of a cliff

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Why the girl have a crooked leg? Her grandma thought that she was a pretzel and while the girl was sleeping the grandma tried to bend the girls leg into a pretzel shape

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Roses are blue Violets are green I have issues, What should I do?

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Oh

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The dinosaurs aren't really extinct. Just kidding.

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Why cant t-rexes clap their hands? They no longer exist

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Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team? They do, they just choose not to compete certain years.

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When Chuck Norris dives into a pool... he gets wet due to the aqueous nature of the water

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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What do u call a mixture of black people and asian people. Breakfast- Scrambled Eggs and Sausage

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Women's Rights

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HELP!!! I locked myself in my bathroom and can't get out! my laptop is running out of batteries!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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