What happens when you shoot a black man? You go to prison because murder is a criminal offense.

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Guy 1: why are you such a douche? Guy 2: cause douches get the most p***y

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A man walks into a bar. It resulted in a concussion and 17 stitches.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Yo mama is so fat, she just had a heart-attack. She's dead.

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Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow Wanna have sex?

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Why did the blind man die? He had eye surgery and the doctor told him when he first opened his eyes there would be a very bright light, turns out he also had alzheimers and wandered onto the train tracks

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How do you hide an Elephant? You paint it's toenails pink and put it in a strawberry patch. Have you ever seen an elephant in a strawberry patch.? It must work pretty well then!!

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Q: what is funny today A: your parents died in a horrible car accident

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What did the farmer say when he finally found his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?" Oh ya he had alzheimers.

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A man walked in a bar and asked for 10 shots. (not descriptively) The bar tender got his gun out and shot the man 10 times. Another man asked for three stabs at it. The bar tender stabbed him 3 times. The last man asked for a bomb load. The bar tender gave him 100's of granades. Then the man bombed down the bar with the bar tender inside

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What is the difference between a cow and a human? A lot of things.

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A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim walk into a bar. A good time was had by all, until closing time.

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what did one toilet say to the other toilet? i would love to flush u

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So there's this white guy with a huge dick.

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What did the farmer say when he couldnt find his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

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What did Lois say to Peter? Who cares... Family Guy is a stupid show.

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Why was Jim gay? Because he liked penis.

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Hi I'm makena. I'm a cynical asshole

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Why does a man wake up every morning to do the same job over again? Because, wait... what the heck kind of a question is that?

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How do you circumcise a cat? Shoot an orphan in the leg with a rail gun.

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If a stick is sticky and a bat is batty, what is a mountain? A mountain is rocky. Techinically, 'mountainly' is not an official word.

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How did your baby die. She suffacted by your smell

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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