What do you call your mum without an umbrella? Saturated Fat

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Dimes are silver Pennies are brass Why does your face look like an a**

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What's small and red that sits in a corner? A baby with a razor blade.

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What's the best part of having sex with twenty-four year olds? There's 20 of them.

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Once there was two fish in a tank, and one said "how do you drive this thing?".

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"Knock Knock" "Whos there?" "Interrupting kid with ADHD" *I did not respond, as I knew he would interrupt me before I was able to finish the sentence.*

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Somebody pushed it

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What's the difference between a mexican and a bench A bench can support a family

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Why was the African American man afraid of dogs? He had a terrible childhood memory of being violently dry humped by a german shepherd.

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Q:what happen to amy's baby A:it was eaten by a dingo.

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What is red, blue, and green all over? A piece of paper with three colors on it.

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Two Jewish men are walking when they see a penny on the ground. They continue walking because pennies are not worth picking up in today's economy

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knock, knock! No answer, they probably can't hear you, use the doorbell.

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Wal-mart didn't have the product I wanted. So I yelled at the manager until they had it. It didn't work and i was taken to jail.

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Konock Konock Uh, you spelt knock knock wrong... Oh.

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What is red and not there? No tomatoes.

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A man walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "What'll you have?" The man replies "Surprise me." The bartender proceeds to mix cyanide with the mans drink and loses his bartending license and goes to prison for murdering a customer.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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My girlfriend reckons that a small penis shouldn't affect our sex life. She may be right, but I'd prefer it if she didn't have one.

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Quess what the trash man did today? He took my trash.

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there once was a cat it was brown? fus-roh-dah

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Why is the beach always so angry? The beach is just sand and waves and lacks sentience, but makes up for it in crabs.

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A boy watches as a firefighter saves a little girl from a fire and looks at his mom saying "I want to be a firefighter when i grow up mommy" The mom looks down and replies "Silly kid you're not gunna grow up you have leukemia."

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Dying of terminal cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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