What has one head, three eyes and seven legs? A cow with a tri-pod rammed up it's arse. The third eye is a result of a birth defect.

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Roses are red Violets are blue, Sugar is sweet But i have commitment issues So I'd rather just be friends at this point in our relationship.

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Why did the elephant not do 9/11? Because he drank a hispanic turtle.

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What's the difference between a Pile of Dead Babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamboghini in my garage

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A man walks into a bar. After several hours of drinking and loud unintellegable outbursts to those around him, the man wonders off to a nearby bus stop and relieves himself. He is now a registered sex offender.

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What state is round on both ends and high in the middle? Ocoloradoo.

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Why were accents created? So when people go to Texas they come back sounding like a D-Bag.

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-Will you follow the live coverage of 86th Acacemy Awards? -No. -Are you anti-semitic?

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A fifteen-year-old walks into a bar. He is told to leave by the tender because of his obvious prepubescent appearance, deeming him far from the legal age of drinking.

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I'm a dog.

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What's orange and can fly through walls? A Magic Orange.

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amy mcguire is soo amazing! i love her

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Why was the man squinting his face for so long? He was constipated and couldn't give a shit.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being hit by a plane.

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Two monkeys are having sex. They both realize they're boys.

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Why do witches ride on brooms? Because they have magical powers!

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Q: What did the priest say to the rabbi? A: Our God is a wonderful, loving god; praise his name.

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What do you call a black man running faster than a white man? Usain Bolt

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whats worse than having cancer? nothing you have cancer and should proceed to see doctor

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Why did the Jew pick up the penny? Because he dropped it

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What's big long, harry, and has glowing eyes? I dont know. Its under my bed. PLEASE SEND HELP!!!

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How do you make a lawyer cry? You can't. The production of tears requires a soul, which, regretfully, no lawyer possesses.

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A man drops a penny between a Jew and a homosexual. The man says "oh excuse me," picks up his penny and continues with his day.

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A man walks into an exam room for a doctor's appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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