Two cannibals were eating a clown. One says to the other "Does this taste funny to you?!" ...Two days later, both of the cannibals became very ill with food poisoning. Always ensure meat is cooked thoroughly before eating.

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Who let the dogs out? The burglar, he broke the door and they ran out.

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says “I’ll have some H2O.” The second says “I’ll have some H2O too.” Then he dies.

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Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona 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whatdumb and gay stewart price

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What did the kitty say when it's owner called him over? Nothing. It's owner killed him.

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Why did the boy miss a day off school? He was in a coma

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Why did the black man go to school? So he could graduate with a degree and persue his life in medicine. He later goes on to get his P.H.D. He now supports his healthy family of 5 and living in Idaho, the state of the potato. He has a job as a doctor and is making more than $2M a year. Ha, didn't expect that now did ya.

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How many shots do you have to take to start feeling light-headed? Ask JFK.

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Tia is a dumb website. Turn 0ff blah

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What did the lawyer name is daughter? Caroline, in honor of his grandmother who died in THe Holocaust.

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What did the the policeman say to the band member who trashed a hotel room? "You're under arrest" The band member replied "Well, you're under a vest" The policeman reiterates that this isn't the time to be making any jokes and that vandalism is a very serious offence

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What is brown and sticky? Maple Syrup.

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John's life hasn't been the same since committing suicide 13 years ago.

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Person 1: Ask me if i'm a tree. Person 2: Are you a tree? Person 1: No.

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What is brown and sticky? A lot of things are brown and sticky

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Why was Lucile crying? Because she was sad.

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Why did the fat person build a lift in his house? He was caring for his terminally ill mother which has a cancer and got both her legs amputated due to the cancer spreading to her legs.

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Yes, it's for the patiënt in the other room.

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A wise man once said, "Your life is your habits." So simple yet so true. My habits include: Breathing, having my heart beat, producing brain waves, and other regulatory bodily processes.

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gang-rape.

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Why couldn't the mexican buy a boat? Because he couldn't afford it

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How much seamen does a gay guy have??? A whole butt load.

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A boy with red hair is happy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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