How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

What do you call a dog that can't pass an Algebra test? A dog.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? I'm a talking banana; what more do you want from me?

Why does the Pentagon have twice as many toilets built as is legally obliged? Racial segregation

What did the lighthouse say to the tree? Nothing because they are both unatimate objects and cannot speak

What did Batman tell Robin when they got to Gotham City? -Robin, we got to Gotham City.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I told him to. I'm very influential.

A horse walks into a bar. It trips over a barstool, breaks it's leg, and is butchered and turned into canned dog food.

whats yellow and cant swim? a bulldozer,

How many fat people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three. One to hold the ladder, another to screw it in. The third one stands to the side, just in case it breaks.

if my evil next door neighbor is building a rocket to steal the moon with the help of 3 little girls, a grumpy old man and about 5000 small yellow poeple; what do i do? get sued for coping a copyrighted movie plot

why did the boy eat his lunch money? it was his lunch!

Your as much use as Anne Frank's drum kit.

What do you get when you cross an orangatang with a grizzly bear? Nothing, they just walk past each other unless the bear eats the shit out of the monkey then feeds it to her cubs

Why do girls like Justin Beiber? They dont

what did the man with no arms and no legs get for christmas? a new hat

Q: What's a Mexican's favorite sport? A: Cross Country

Why did the chicken cross the road? I have not seen chicken since I was very young, on my parents' farm. This is before the Cossacks slaughtered them. I can still hear screams of sister as soldiers ravaged her. But back to question, where did you see chicken? I am very, very hungry.

What do you call a naked couple? Horny.

A man walks into a bar. I don't know what happened next because I was waiting outside for my friend.

What is a gremlin's favorite snack? Gremlins aren't real.

what's worse than getting beaten by police? Getting beaten by Russian police

If your uncle helped you off An horse, would you help your uncle jack off an horse?

Thanks

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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