HEY are you aware of how tired your suitcase is? Sorry, I rest my case.

got a new boxing bag the other day its hanging from the top of my stairs its called dead seb

Why did Margret eat the banana? She was hungry.

What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer.

A horse walked into a bar and asked for a pint. The barman said, 'Sorry, we don't serve horses.' Adele sighed and walked out.

A woman walks in a confessional booth and proceeds to tell the priest about how she killed and ate her baby in a fit of hysteria because she is having issues dealing with her fresh divorce. The priest does not call 911.

A grasshopper goes into a bar It is stepped on and crushed.

On christmas, a bunch of happy kids get machine guns for christmas.Meanwhile in afghanistan, a bunch of dissapointed kids are getting ice skates.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a dick just for you

Why did the little girl jump off a cliff? because she was at a cliff jump at a water park

Why was Johnny so sad His father beat his mother

Q. What's long and hard and full of seamen? A. A penis. Oops, I misspelled "semen". Sorry. Also, to clarify, this doesn't describe the normal state of the average penis. Usually they are flaccid, and they can only be said to be "full of semen" at the exact moment of ejaculation.

Carl has 300 candy bars. He eats 295. What does Carl have? Diabetes. Carl has diabetes.

How'd the little kid get down the stairs when nobody was home? He fell down thhem.

Why'd Sally fall of the swing? Sally's a fish.

hey i just met you and this is crazy but hears my number so call me maby .....7 days

A cat walks into a bar. She belongs to the owner, so he gives her a saucer of milk.

Knock, knock. MAN: Who's there? ... MAN: Hello? Anyone out there? ... MAN: Must be the wind.

what has 2 legs and no eyes? A decapitated cat with only its lower half remaining

Why... ...did the chicken cross the road?

What did the cannibal say after he ate the clown? I am not sure as the tragic situation occurred while the clown was hiking alone.

roses are violets red is blue i like doughnuts doughnuts are good

"DUDE! THERE IS A KNIFE IN YOUR LEG!" "SERIOUSLY!"

what happens when a retard hits an iceberg with a gigantic boat? 1517 people die.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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