what do a fish and wood have in common? when they're dead, they float

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Whats the difference between babies and a dart board? Dart boards dont bleed

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How many fingers am i holding up? none, my hand got blown off in Vietnam

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A. Do you know the best part about Anti Jokes? B. No

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Hi, my name is Mark and I have dead babies in my garage... Just kidding. My name ia not Mark.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? To get to the other side!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Blood is red also Nothing else is blue

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Cool I just got a free Minecraft gift code at http://freeminecraftgiftcode.net

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Nero, man, I mean I will hurt you, I am on my way to the hospital, and seriously that pic does not look real, seriously on a hospital? I mean man, I am really sorry! I nearly killed you, how was i supposed to know you do not care about your teeth and take half a bottle of that calcium stuff? My mom? Yeah sure! She laughed at the message you sent her, and if you touch my sis, ill kill you, anyway I am on my way, you better change your mind or I will kick your ass!

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What do you get when you cross an elephant with a giraffe? A really f*cked up hybrid.

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Dale a tu cuerpo alegria Macarena

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An Irishman, a German, a Jew, and a Mexican walk into a bar...... the Irishman is named designated driver and all four have a safe and enjoyable evening.

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who lives a pineapple under the sea? a proper spazztwat.

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why do they call it history? Women didn't do shit

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Wher did suzy go after the explosion? everywhere

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whats got two legs and cant walk a paraplegic

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What's the difference between a plumber and a husband? Both fuck the same women when the other is away.

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What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing, dogs can't speak English.

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What's invisible and smells like a carrot? A rabbit's fart.

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How do you stop a baby from flying? Hit it with a shovel.

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What did the dog say to the dildo? Your rubber

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What's black and runs fast? Newsflash: Most of you are racist.

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Knock knock Who's there A drummer A drummer who I'm not knocking on your door

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A white guy, a mexican, and a black guy are in a race. Who always wins? Whichever one crosses the finish line first

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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