What do you call a chicken with its head cut off? A dead chicken. Most likely ready to be cooked/eaten

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What do you call someone who has slept for 48 hours straight? Dead.

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A bloke walks into a bar. He doesn't say 'ouch' because it was a public house and not a hard surfaced object as you may have thought initially

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why can't dead peaple have sex? because they're dead.

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What do you call your mother's bipolar brother with three arms? Uncle.

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Q.why'd the monkey fall out of the tree A. because he was dead.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your boyfriend's gay

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One day, a woman was walking down an alleyway at midnight She reached the end of the alley and realised that it was a dead end, as there was a brick wall, so she turned around and headed on back home.

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why did the girl fall off the swing ? because she had no arms.

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what are you called if your really funny but you not smart? the class clown

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why was the little girl afraid of the dark because she was brutally raped in the dark when she was 4.

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What do you give the person who has everything? A 20$ gift voucher

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What did the boy say after he stubbed his toe? Owww! I wanna have sex!!!

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sandwich. roller coaster. brain sprout. cholera, meander. time. rivet.porcupine. mayonaise. frying. x-ray forever.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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My teacher told me to so a report on women rights.....I turned in a blank sheet! ^.^

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My sister had a lemonade stand once. And one time, she spilled.

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so one day i was getting my daughter artemisia ready for school and so i came in her room and got her pants and so i put it on and then i said did you grow during the summer really did you and then she said daddy both of my feet are stuck on one side of the leg

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Anyone reading this I'm not writing anything Kevin

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"So can we take the rest of the schoolday off?" the students asked. The teacher then asked: "Why?" The students explained: "Because some of us live far away and it's impossible to get through the masses of snow, especially if the snowfall continues like this." "Well, I can't give you time off, because the principal haven't said it has snowed enough just yet." he responded.

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Q: Why did Sally fall off the swing? A: How the heck would I know? I don't Sally.

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What do you call a grizzly bear without teeth? A gummy bear

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Does this smell like chloroform to you?

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Lol, thats funny, sorry for asking, but is your eye doing better? Was their IQ test the same one you get when you enter their site?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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