roses are red violets are blue i fucked your mom so did you

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What has two arms, and two legs but cant walk? A Cripple

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How many electricians does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why was the ghost boy sad? He was attending his own funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

why did your mum die young because she had canser

thumb_up thumb_down -5

(A man in a dark van pulls up)... Hey kids can you come help me find my puppy? The kids get in the car and they find the puppy in a near by park. The kids are then safely returned home.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Wolfjob.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Guy 1: So how did you get into hospital Guy 2: I was drinking near my computer Guy 1: So why did it explode? Guy 2: (Doesn't reply)

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Your mom is so fat that she is at risk for type two diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

hey i just met you and this is c r a z y , but im a pirate so call me matey ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +3

cliché rebecca black joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a black guy that drives a plane? A pilot

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the butcher have blood on his hands? He murdered his daughter.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

YO MAMMA SO SKINNY SHE HULA-HOOP THIER A CHEERIO

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Not from my wife if that is what you think, but its best people dont know who she is, because you know... A guy that gets many ladies = A playa. A girl that lets his guy do that, well, my wife feels safe about her husband (I am dead honest), but I cant expect people to suddenly go "oh yeah, his wife is totally cool and secure about it all, rather than an insecure idiot that allows him to sleep around like the dog he is) Strictly spoken, I am no dog, women say all men are pigs, but no woman settles for a boy, so that makes me a pig.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Jamie Oliver eats a chip

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why do guys like Halloween? Martin Luther posted the 95 theses in 1517 on this day.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do you call a black man selling drugs? A pharmacist

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's funnier than a rock. A funny rock.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

If God created the world, including man kind, why do we worship him? We are corrupt, selfcentered, animal slaughterers. He made us this. So, Why?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the blonde's parents take away her car? She didn't pay for half the insurance like she said she would.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Q: Why were the chicken and the cow friends? A: Because they shared common interests.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Knock knock! "Who's there?" "It's me, xx" "Okay, come in."

thumb_up thumb_down -77

Panda walks into a restaurant with gun ready to eat, shoot and leave to finish a really good grammar joke, but before he can eat, Animal Control tranquilize him and seize his gun. So all he can do is leave unconscious. Meanwhile someone takes enjoyment in slowly burning the dictionary entry for "Panda".

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops