Repeat after me... I'matote ulbu twad Now say that all together Im a total butt wad

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did one planet say to the other? Nothing. Space is a vacuum in which sound cannot propagate due to the absence of a matter or particle medium.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

So I'm at the office and I tell this guy, "Hey can you pass me the stapler. But when you pass it over, make sure there are staples in it 'cause if not, I can't staple anything."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock Knock Who's there? Your friend, George. Oh hi George, I'll be there in a sec.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? Trees can't jump

thumb_up thumb_down +24

why did the stupid boy put his clothes on his valentines? because hes stupid

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call someone with the world biggest encyclopedia on their head? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the duck cross road? It didn't, it got ran over.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Who gets more action than my best friend Reese? My raped cousin....

thumb_up thumb_down -15

so there are 2 muffins in an oven,1 says to the other "holy s**t its hot in here!" and the other says,"omg!its a talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A: Knock, Knock B: Whos there? A: Noone, the door and the visitor are both existential figments of your imagination.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are red Violets are blue This poem makes no sense FIRETOE!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: What did the psychopath dream about? A: An insane chimpanzee kicking his head off, or maybe something normal

thumb_up thumb_down -1

whats worse than the holacost? your mom giving you cubes in your drink when you requested crushed instead

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the white man win the race Because there were no black people attending

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Why did they name the team mavericks and why Was the maskot a horse? Because 50 years ago they found a blue horse And its name was maverick

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the black kid get on his report card? Math: C- English: D+ Social Studies: C+ Gym:A+ Science: D- N.P.P.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was thrown out of the way

thumb_up thumb_down +12

AROUND

thumb_up thumb_down +30

"Ask me if I'm a lamp." "Are you a lamp?" "No."

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Doctor, doctor, i feel like a pair of curtains. Well I'm going to refer you to a mental institute and forward this meeting to a specialist due to the schizophrenic attitude and belief you have. However, I will have to ask you to come back in tomorrow or later today for further tests as to why you feel this way. This is highly abnormal and should be fixed immediately. Another further concerns please contact me asap.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Q: Whats worse then a minor fender bender? A: Dieing a long painful death by getting stabbed 27 times then getting hit by a car 2 hours later your brother finds you and told you that him and your wife have been cheating on you and your kid is his.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

see ya

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops