An asian man walks into a bar and lights a cigarette. He is politely asked to leave due to smoking being prohibited indoors.

what's blue and white and red all over? -nothing the "red all over" part implies a contradiction to blue and white.

What jew get for christmas? Your money.

A women frantically calls the doctor and says, " Doctor, doctor, give me the news! I have a bad case of loving you."

Your mamma's so fat she has been called morbitally obese

So, Elvis walks into a bathroom...

Q: What do a dildo salesman and a car salesman have in common? A: They are both salesman

A Woman out of the kitchen

What is yellow, has wheels and lies on its back? A school bus after a horrible traffic accident

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his crotch... The bartender calls the police as the man is arrested as piracy an act of robbery or criminal violence.

what did one caterpillar say to another caterpillar? let's be butterflies

Your mommas so fat that she may die.

Why did the women hit the telephone pole? There are many theories but one suggests that it is due to womens statistically lower cognitive spacial reasoning abilities.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

A blonde walks into a bar She said, agh that hurt

What can an elevator do that a mexican can't? Raise a family.

why did the chicken cross the road ??? why would you care??

Why did the man say ow? He got his dick caught in his zipper.

CORRECTION TO THE COMMENT BELOW! Its a WIN/WIN/WIN/WINWINWINWINWINWIN (WIN For at least 30 more minutes)/CUUUUM!/"SORE ASS WHINING CHILD Gonna grow into a slut SITUATION!" friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man The Anti-Christ: Do not thumb me down unless you want to feel the big burning hot spear of darkness, and you do not... You better don`t be or become a sore ass kid you allshole if you know what I am saying... Yeah! Thats right! You better fear me! Because the angrier you look... The more offended you become... The better you are starting to look...

Why did the wife scream when she saw her husband? Because he was dead

My wife's star sign was cancer and it's quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

Did you hear the one about the priest, the rabbi, the astronaut, the olympic diver, the mcdonald's employee, and the web designer? Neither did I...

Q: Why did the bully hit the kid A:Because he is a bully-I thought that would have been self explanitory.

Non-Anti-Joke.com!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...