What do you call a car that doesn't work? Broken.

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Michael Vick walks into a pet shop. He buys a puppy and cares for it lovingly

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What's red and green and goes 100 mph? A car that is driving recklessly and happens to have a Christmas paint scheme.

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How long does it take for britney spears to change a light bulb? Fish can not leave the water without dieing.

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Roses are red violets are blue im a mass murderer and i will kill your family with no hesitation

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Ok,here's one, my brother can sometimes do it! Ok. Think of a number between 1 and 10 Add ten Add ten Add ten Add five Add five Take away your original number \~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\ _______________________________________ Is your number NOW, 40? Was your original number 6? Click thumbs up if that WAS your answer! ????????

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Two penguins are in a bathtub, one penguin asks the other "can you pass the soap?" the other penguin says "what do I look like? A toaster?"

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Why was Michelle crying? I don't know. Neither do I.

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Who has killed more people than Jeffrey Dahmer, John Wayne Gacy, and Jack Kevorkian combined? Mr. Rogers

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Boxing on Boxing Day

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"Tell me a joke" Tom says Your life.

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Who's the fastest kid in AA

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Why is Kony hated by the kid with ADHD? Hey look a kid being raped while watching his family getting killed.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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How do you kill two birds with one stone. You don't its not humanly possible because birds cannot be killed with rocks.

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What do you call a blue horse with two legs and five eyes? A blue horse with two legs and five eyes.

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what did the duck say to the dog. quack

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What do you call an Arab man flying a plane? A pilot.

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what is better than your entire family getting brutally murdered applesauce

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What do you call a black man driving a bus? By his name

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Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

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why did the cow eat a computer? Why? Who knows

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What did the man say to the ugly woman? Your face makes my penis soft.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it felt like it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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