How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Stab her.

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Who were the fastest readers of all time? The victims of 9/11. They went through over 87 stories in less than 2 1/2 minutes.

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Why was timmy having trouble with his homework? Because lobotomies were a forced practice in the 1950's.

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why shouldnt you throw a rock at a black guy on a bike? Just because its not very nice.

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A man penetrates another man.

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A guy walks into a bar. I didn't see anything else.

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What did the piano say to the guitar? "G, it's not A nice day. B careful, Dee." What did the guitar say to the piano? "F you!" What did the piano reply? "Eek! C you later!"

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Q: Why do black people drink Grape Soda? A: Because it queches their thirst, and satisfies them.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see, monkey do.

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what did the food critic say when he was handed a snickers? I'm allergic to peanut butter

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If life give you lemons, throw them at people.

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Why can't Heller Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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Q:What did the robot say to the boy? A:Nothing the robot malfunctioned and started choking the boy, despite the towns best efforts they could not release the death grip on the boys throat, after the robot was done choking the boy it exploded killing 99% of the population in a 5 mile radius.

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whats worse than getting a fail on your math test? Getting shot.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because he was hungry and mcdonalds was across the street

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Your mama is so stupid that she thought Brendan Fraser was a good actor.

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What is the difference between the sky and the ocean? They're both blue.

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What did grandma get little Benjamin for Christmas? Nothing, she died last year

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A hurt animal that should promtly be taken to the RSPCA for surgery.

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What's worse than finding a holocost in your apple. A truck full of dead babies then what's worse than finding a truck full of dead babies in your apple. Braving to pich fork them out

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What happed to the kid who survived cancer? He got hit by a plain.

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why did the chicken cross the road?... it actually didn't

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Yo momma so fat she's obese.

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What lives underground? Grandpa

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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