Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one.

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What did charles get his sister for christmas? Nothing, he's dead

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What kind of toy do you give to a dead baby? A death rattle.

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If Johnny has 5 apples and Susie has 7 apples, will they give them to the homeless?

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how did the girl with a hook-hand do her hair? She didn't

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What's funnier than 24? 25

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A man walks into a bar. Now he needs stitches on his forehead because he was walking pretty fast

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Hitler had the right ideas, wne tupon it the wrong way.

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How many people does it take to kill the president? A number

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What do you call a woman with two black eyes? Irish sunglasses

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Anti jokes gives me cold sores

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What's the difference between 6 and 7? 1.

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If life gives you lemons, you shoud be thankful it didn't give you AIDS.

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why couldnt the man dunk? because he was 3' 2" and a legal midget.

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what did the palatiespussy say to the asain how many cocaines did i say was a black pankakkkke MMMFUUCCK NORDSTRUM(CUM)

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A chicken walks into McDonalds. He never comes out because he got grilled, greased, and seasoned.

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A blind man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at the man for a moment, then asks : - Excuse me, sir. Are you blind ? And the blind man says : - Yes.

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A blonde, a brunette and a red-head find a mirror with a message on it that says "Stand in front of the mirror and say something you think is true. If it is true, I'll grant you a wish. If it is wrong, you'll be sucked inside the mirror and be trapped there forever." The blonde, who is standing in front of the mirror, says "I think this is a stupid joke." and nothing happened.

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What do you call a million pigs jumping out of an aircraft? Bacon.

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Poop.

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What do you call a man with a spade on his head? Doug

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What is the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One you can smash with a hammer and the other is just a watermelon.

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How do you piss off a female archeologist? Kill her dog.

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Why don't you ever stick your hand into the bottom of the jelly bean jar? Cuz' the black ones will steal your watch

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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