How do you know when an Asian has robbed your house? You have informed the police, who in turn searched the house for DNA evidence, eventually leading them to the criminal, who just so happened to be a troubled Asian teenager attempting to join a local gang.

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Who do you call when there is a ghost in your house? You should problably call the doctor, you may be hallucinating.

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If you spill milk Don't cry over it..... Clean it up.

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What did the coat say to the dog? Nothing, the coat was inanimate

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Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger. They had left the keys inside and no-one was around to help.

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Insert joke that isn't even an anti joke = The new jokes on anti joke now.

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Why was the boat red and sticky? A boy dropped his slurpee. What were you thinking?!

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him and got better.

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What did the pear tree say to the farmer? Go harvest that corn over yonder.

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is it normal to be sexualy atracted to numbers?

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Kim Jong Un thinks that he is in shape. And when you think about it, he's right. Round is a shape.

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Why didn't the little boy have a good time at his birthday party? Because his friends lit him on fire.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the slaughter house.

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What do you call a deer with no eye? No eye deer ( get it, it's like the red, necked southern speaking states )

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why did the chicken cross the road? well... to get to the other side.

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Knock, knock! Who's there?! Your Mom! Your Mom who? No really. Let me in.

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why did you poop because you are a poop

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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This is the funniest joke in the world: Just joking!

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Romney: I think you would raise our debt and make more Americans jobless. Obama: It's just cuz I'm black!

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Why did she fall again? Because somebody put her back on. Why wasn't she able to hug her dad? Because she has no dad.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock -Who's there Not Sarah

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Why did the chicken cross the road!? He was supposed to be dead! You are by far the most incompetent chicken assassin we've ever had. You're fired.

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roses are red that fact is true but violets are violet not fu***** blue

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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