Bill: My brother died on 9/11 Steve: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Was he in one of the towers? Bill: Both. Steve: Both? Bill: He was in one tower when the first plane hit, so he ran over to warn everybody in the other tower and while he was in the other tower, he died of AIDS. Steve: LOL Bill: Quit your laughing, Steve, and make sweet, sweet love to me! Steve: It would be my pleasure! (While Bill and Steve made sweet, sweet love on that park bench, little did they know that a hundred miles away in a beautiful Los Angeles home, actor Jeff Goldblum was making himself a turkey sandwich...not too much mayo...just the way he likes it.)

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If you were a Transformer, you would be Optimus Fine.

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A car with four Mexicans drives off of a cliff. What's the bad news? They were my friends.

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knock knock who's there who who who who who what are you a retarded owl

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Some people are like Slinkies: they get really boring after a while.

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You wanna hear what's totally out of this world? The moon

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Guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink called "Vampire poison". The bartender gives him the drink. The man drinks it and dies. No he was not a vampire, he was just a man with a history of heart failures.

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What's funnier than poop? More poop

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Your mom is so stupoid she put a piece of paper on the TV and called it paper view!

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Why did the girl's cat fall from the ceiling? Because she didn't use enough tape.

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balls

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How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

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knock, knock no one answers man goes home and shots himself because he feels alone

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You say you can read me like a book, well the jokes on you. I am not a book.

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A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

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Knock knock. Nobody answers because the homeowner was out of the house at the time.

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Why did you loose the basketball game? Because they scored more points than us.

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Q: What's bigger than a volcano? A: Earth

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What do you call two men riding a bicycle.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To rape the hen.

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Why do showers have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers

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What has eyes but can't see? Helen Keller. What has ears but can't hear? A field of corn.

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Two men walk into a bar. And they enjoy a good night of drinking beer and playing pinball.

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What starts with the letter P and ends with 'orn'? Porn....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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