What part of a vegetable are you not supposed to eat? His wheelchair.

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How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

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Society has given up on chairs that spin.

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What's the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? I have to take off my boots to jump on the trampoline.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal, and this wasn't just any road. It was the new highway built, with frequent traffic jams and a speed limit of 90 mph.

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A boy askes santa for a baby brother. Santa says give me your mom.

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whats worse than 2 people dying? 3 people dying.

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Your mommas so stupid she put a quarter into a parking meter and waited for a gumball to drop out.

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How do you make friends with a squrriel? Trust me, don't.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Unfortunately there are billions of chickens in the world and based on the question it is not possible to determine which specific chicken is being referred to. Even if we were able to ascertain this knowledge it would be unlikely that we could determine its purpose, as chickens don't usually make decisions based on logical thought.

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Me-Whats long and hard and full of seaman Him-a submarine Me-No dumb ass a dick

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A plane is flying from NY to Canada, but crashes on the border. Where do you bury the survivors? You don't bury survivors.... Just kidding, there were no survivors

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Why did the stereo break? Cause little Johnny threw a bat at it.

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guess what the quarterback did he threw the ball!

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what do you call a kid in a wheelchair? . handicapped.

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A man is walking alone in a park and stumbles upon a lamp. He rubs the lamp and a genie appears out of thin air. The genie tells him he has three wishes to wish for whatever his heart desires. The man naturally wishes for Anthony Davis to shave his damn unibrow. He then throws the lamp at a little boys face and laughs uncontrollably.

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How many licks does it take to get to center of a tootsie pop? pickles, 7:00 pm, wood, shoulder pain

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How do you get a bird off the roof you throw an ax at it

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Q: Playstation 4 or Xbox One? A: Both of them are specialized desktop computers used to play video games. It makes no sense to argue or attempt to make any distinction, as they are the exact same thing.

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You're so stupid, you had to take part in special classes in school, and despite this specific attention to your educational development, you've made no major progress.

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a mexican guy, a jewish guy, and a priest jump off a plane they landed safely and had a great day

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what is red and smells like paint red paint

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whats the difference between a guitar and a fish? A guitar is an instrument used to produce noise and a fish is a living orgnism native to lakes and oceans

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Mary had a little lamb, The nurse and midwife fainted. Because last year she met a ram, And they got too acquainted.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops