A man walks into a bar and says "ow"; he stepped on a nail sticking up through one of the floorboards. He then sues the bartender for a large sum of money because of the injury he sustained, and causes the bartender to lose everything he owns in order to pay off his debt.

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...and I'm a Mormon.

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Why is Chuck Norris so frickin awesome? He just is cause he's chuck norris

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face", the horse said nothing; because it is a horse.

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What do you call someone with no legs nor arms? Mat

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What's worse than being a Jew in 2010? Being a Jew in 1942.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not your grandma! Cause she's dead! Come to the funeral

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It's valentines today! My girlfriend died.

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Q: What's the deal with air line food? A: An airline meal or in-flight meal is a meal served to passengers on board a commercial airliner. These meals are prepared by airline catering services. The first kitchens preparing meals in-flight were established by United Airlines in 1936. These meals vary widely in quality and quantity across different airline companies and classes of travel. They range from a simple beverage in short-haul economy class to a seven-course gourmet meal in long-haul first class.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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I wont say I got much money, but neither do I need it, just be honest to me, because if you lie, every advice I give you, could cost you or me everything, our lives, our families... Collateral damage is a term used very often and lightly ever since 9/11

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

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A woman was in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband. Shortly after she brings the sandwich to him and he thanks her seeing as his disabled legs prevent him from walking to the kitchen and making one himself. His wife later heads to her job as a firefighter.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate the chicken.

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Why did the skeleton not get invited to the party? because he was dead

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Why was the black person playing hockey? Because he found an interest to the sport during his childhood years.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. A family is tied-up and screaming for help in my basement.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are unintelligent creatures of instinct, and can tell no significant differences between the pavement and the road. It was unfortunate that a bus was speeding past at the moment this event happened.

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What the black guy say to the Jew during the blizzard? I think it's snowing.

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What did the teenage girl text her friend while driving? It doesn't matter, she's dead now. Don't text and drive.

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How do you know a thief has been using your computer? It's missing.

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your mums so fat! "last time i heard that i fell of my dinosaur!!" Oh man are you ok?

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It's a bird! No, it's a plane! No, it's actually a bird. You can see its wings flapping.

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What do you call a man in the desert? Whatever his name is.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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