Q. What happened to the kid with 1 arm and 1 leg and 1 arm and 1 leg A. He had a seisure, then got hit by a bus

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got ran over by a car

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A man walks outside on a sunny day. Since the sun was very bright, he put on a pair of sunglasses. While this was going on, nothing else really happened and he went on with his day as usual.

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what did the child say to his mother? daddy raped me!

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father ****s on his desk.

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A man walks into a bar. What's missing? The joke.

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What sound does a baby make in a blender? Idk, i was too busy masturbating to hear.

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Why did the blind boy cross the road? Why? The world may never know. He was hit by a bus

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Why did the fox cross the road Because it didn't anticipate getting mashed by the passing lorry

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Barack Obama walks into a bar. He's black.

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A: how do u wake up lady gaga? B: you poke her face

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Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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what happens when you mix a black guy and a Mexican? nothing, it is physically impossible to "mix" people.

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Why did the old man order the little girl into the car? Because he was her grandfather.

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whats 2+2? 1

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What's the difference between a duck? An armchair, because a vest has no sleeves.

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What do you call a gay African American Jewish German flight attendant who is addicted to many hard drugs? His name.

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Tic tac toe. I never met my father

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Seen the new batman movie? [spoiler] the audience dies

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What's the difference between The Hulk and The Thing? One is green.

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What did the fat gypsy say to the attractive young woman aged twenty-five? I know you are probably not remotely interested in having sex with me, but I'm afraid that you have no choice due to the fact that I've locked all of the doors.

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What do you get a when you cross a chocolate bar and some haribo? A disease complex characterized by persistent hyperglycemia caused by insufficient insulin production or resistance to the metabolic action of insulin. Diabetes mellitus (DM) is generally classified as insulin-dependent (IDDM, type I), non-insulin-dependent (NIDDM, type II), or secondary diabetes mellitus

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What did the doctor say to his dying patient? Shit happens.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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