Why did little jennifer shit herself? Because she fell over.

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What’s the best part about winning a gold medal? Nothing. You’re on acid and staring straight at the sun.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Chrismas? Cancer. What did he get for his birthday? Nothing, he didn't live that long

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why was the kid named owen? Because thats what his parents wnted him to be named

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why is 6 afraid of 7 ? because 7 is black.

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't make for a very good accountant.

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Excuse me, I have a shitload of stuff to do, so you are Eliza huh? I thought that was just one person conveying something to someone. Anyway, what is your name? My name is actually Nero, but you do not strike me as an Eliza, first name is more than enough. You know, if you dare, Ill be back shortly, I was gonna shower but then again, I haven't moved at all today, so yeah. Saved you? I have never saved anyone well, excuse me then, see you around, worry less about people bothering with us chatting, hell they might risk learning something (not a chance, people here are fucking jackasses, with one exception, and I do not mean me this time).

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How do you know a dude is dead? He doesn't breath, he has no color in the face and his heart has stoped.

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Your mama is so fat she suffered from diabetes and died of heart failure .

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Knock Knock Who's There Santa Santa Who? I stole your dog.

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Whats whats black, yellow, wnd green all over? The Jamacain flag

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A boy bought a dozen roses, eleven real, one fake. He looks deeply into his girlfriends eyes, hers looking back, brimming with love and affection as he says, "I slept with your sister."

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A man finds an old lamp, rubs it, and releases the genie trapped inside. The genie grants him three wishes. So the man wishes for a million more wishes and uses them all wisely,

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A: I've got a new knock knock jokes! Wanna hear it? B: Yeah. A: Oh you first. B: Knock knock! A: Who's there?

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you know whats funny... nothing.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Boo. Oh hey man, you got the meth?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? BECAUSE HE WAS DEAD.

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What do Barney and a butchers knife have in common? One of them is purple

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The chicken came before the egg. Because eggs are an unborn chicken, and it is impossible for an unborn chicken to ejaculate.

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You know what's annoying When you suddenly die of a heart attack

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was about to get raped.

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Under Chuck Norris' beard, there is a chin.

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Why are pirates called pirates? Because it derives from the Latin word, pirata.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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