Hello, I'm David and I just stabbed my aunt in the eye. Just kidding, my name isn't David. That was an Aunt Eye(anti) joke.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it didn't it got hit by a bus.

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Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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I ran in to Hitler. "Hey, Hitler, what's up?" I asked. "Well, this time I am going to kill 6 million Jews and 2 clowns." "Two clowns?" I ask. "Why two clowns?" "See!" He exclaimed. "No one cares about the Jews!"

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Why did the boy collect poop? Because it was it was his dogs shit.

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What did the priest get for Christmas? Herpes

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Robin, get in the batmobile.

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Why is Jesus not real? Because Chuck Norris is still alive.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I threw it after I chopped its' head off.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to go well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that when his wife was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas, despite that the tank was full and she only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrendous car accident that caused the fuel to empty and catch fire. Mary survived but their 6 month old baby was killed.

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they call me the green lantern because my little sister died in chemical fire

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What do you call a kid without any friends? A Sandy Hook survivor

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle.

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Wolfjob.

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What did one pole say to the other pole? We are both from poland

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Why does the easter bunny hide his eggs? Because he wants to hide the fact he knocked up a chicken.

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How many dead babes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? its not possible because there all dead

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Once you go black you may be more open to dating a second black person.

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why was the girl raped? she left the kitchen.

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

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Why didn't the black man pay for his child support bills? He made some unwise financial decisions in the past and is working three part time jobs just to stay afloat.

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Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A Mexican is a Mexican and a bench is a bench.

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Soccer...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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