Q. How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? A. 17.

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Whats green and fuzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Two arabs fly into a bar.

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osama bin laden is dead

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What's worse than being raped? Being raped twice.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS I LIKE TRAINS

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

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A duck flies into a bar. The bartender allows it to stay because it turns into a beautiful swan. The goose then lays a golden egg and the bartender stares in awe as a giant bean stalk grows out of the egg. He's ecstatic and really glad he let the flamingo stay with all the wonderful colors and magic going on.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? None, because feminists can't change anything

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What is your name? My name is Jeff

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? No. Well, neither has he

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What did batman say to robin befor they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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Why did Dan fall of his bicycle? Because somebody threw a refrigerator at him.

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What do you call postman pat when he is retired? Pat.

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Why does one not simply walk into Mordor? Mordor doesn't really exist and thus is physically impossible to walk into, or enter by any means really.

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When a mommy and a daddy love each other very much... and after being married for 39 years... They get divorced

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You know why Michael J. Fox makes really good milkshakes? ... because he uses the best ingredients.

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what sucks? things that suck

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Why couldn't the 10 year old see the Pirate Movie? Because he was dead...

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how do u make a sausage roll push it down a hill

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What did the father say to his gay son? "Finish your homework."

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what did the homeless man get for christmas hyperthermia

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't a Ferrari in my garage

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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