How do you kill a politician? You set him on fire and stab him in the back 20 times.

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A man walked into a bar. He was accused of being to drunk to drive so someone called a cab for him and he was forced to leave.

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How do you get dislikes on anti-joke.com? You can dislike your own post from several different IP addresses.

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Whats worse than a son killing his own father? His biological father finds him, 10 years later.

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What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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How do you get a drugged man, a giant sombrero, and a guitar into a Chuck-E-Cheese? You take multiple trips.

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What is worse than the holocaust. A worm in MY apple!

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What do you call a man with no eyes or ears? - Deaf and Blind.

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hey i just met you.... and this might just sound crazy but i have a bad case of short term memory .....were we talking????

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What's worse than getting a parking ticket? Getting brutally raped in the anus by the Dark Lord Satan.

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What did Jesus get for Christmas? Birthday presents.

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Guy 1: (to guy 2) Close your eyes, stand on one leg, spin around, and yell "I have never eaten a cucumber!". Guy 2: No. Guy 1: Ok.

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A girl accidentally clicks on an advertisement while on anti-jokes.com, the girl silently curses and quickly presses the back button.

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police, your family is dead.

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A man walks into a bar He says "ow" and promptly sits down and ices the bruise he sustained

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"What's wrong?" "I can't fap." "Why not?" "Because I saw your face."

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What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

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How come the dog didn't want to go into the sun? -Because it didn't want to turn into a hotdog.

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What's the best way to get high without doing drugs? Jump.

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My hair is thin, therefore the person beside me wears oddly looking clothes CC

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You're smart... And I can tell a joke.

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whats worse than a paper cut? 2012

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guys ive got a TANK under my house a septic tank

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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