What do grizzly bears and people have in common? Neither can survive in outer space, due to depressurization, lack of oxygen, and absence of basic survival needs.

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What makes the turtle move? It's legs.

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Did you know that if you get all your intestines, and laid it out across the floor in a line, you would die?

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Wh did Steve Jobs invent the iPhone? Because he was smart.

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What did one tree say to the other tree? Nothing, trees can't talk.

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A man walks up to a gay guy and says "you are socially accepted"

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An Irishman walks out of a bar

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What did Hitler say to the Jewish boy? Nothing, Hitler died many years ago...

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What did Chuck Norris say to the puppy? Aww what a cute dog.

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What look likes a rocket, uses Mc Donalds wifi and takes off from Fairlawns Avenue Kevins House not instigating it was all Taggart

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13

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A duck walked into a bar and said "ouch."

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What is the first step in making an ugly girl pretty? Shave her genitals.

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Why was the student late for class? Because paraplegics can't drive.

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Wanna know what my grandma said before she kicked the bucket? Hey grandson, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Noooooooo...

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None. It is an avian species incapable of throwing such a heavy material as wood.

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why was it funny that the boy got a razor for christmas because he had leukemia

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Why did the blonde lose her job as a teacher? Because she was in a sudden and violent car crash in which she died a slow agonizing death.

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Violets are red Roses are blue I scrrewed that up Now can i screw you?

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? The chicken doesnt understand the concept of a street so it was most likely just wandering across the street

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Anybody else hate when people mispell words in jokes It ruins the joke Most them prob some scumbags Probs to Jeffrey K April 12, 2013 1:55 PM

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What did the mexican firefighter name his 2 children? Jose and Juan.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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