What do you get when you cross an intersection? Possibly a lower leg contussion, ACL tear, breaks in 4 different sections of your arm and lots of brain swelling if you are hit by a car.

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Why were accents created? So when people go to Texas they come back sounding like a D-Bag.

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i love antijokes

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A:Why did the chicken cross the road? B:To get The Daily.....Do you get it. A:No. B:Me neither..I get The Times.

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What happened to the seal that walked into the zoo? Well nothing because seals can't walk.

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Why do the man leave his tv on? He was murdered while he was watching tv

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What's funnier than killing a bunch of orphans? killing their parents first.

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What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? I don't eat hot dogs. Thank you though.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, 1, 2 in mod7.

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What did the catholic priest say to the little boy? Nothing sexual, that kind of behavior isn't as widespread as people think.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall? Wally.

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Whats worse than finding half of a worm in your apple? Noticing the apple is oversized and finding half of a dead baby.

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How do you fit four elephants in a car ? Two in the front and two in the back

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You know what makes me smile? Face muscles

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how do you delete your joke off anti-joke? you don't.

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A: Did you know Helen Keller had a treehouse? B: No. A: Neither did she.

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The world does not deserve our rule, it requires effort, teamwork, respect for oneself and others, tolerance, love, patience, strength, honor, loyalty... ...Face it, people do this because it is far easier to be ruled, than to rule, it is far easier to do as told, than to ask oneself what one desires with ones life. A king that suffers the burden of his people, falls of his throne, a king that enjoys the burdens of his people, creates burden, and grows as people suffer. We cannot change that, maybe we have yet to evolve to that point as humans, or maybe it is time to accept, that we have evolved past this.

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What do you call a joke without a punchline?

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What did the cow say to the other cow? How should i know? Go ask them.

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Why was Timmy crying? Because he got raped.

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What did steve do when jane asked him for a pencil? He gave her one.

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What happened when the princess kissed the frog? She died, the frog was highly toxic.

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A man is walking alone in a park and stumbles upon a lamp. He rubs the lamp and a genie appears out of thin air. The genie tells him he has three wishes to wish for whatever his heart desires. The man naturally wishes for Anthony Davis to shave his damn unibrow. He then throws the lamp at a little boys face and laughs uncontrollably.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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