Why were trash man's hands dirty? He got shot in the leg and desperately tried to get the bullet out with his hands and got blood all over them and ass he was running to the hospital he tripped into shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A bishop died and went to heaven. At the Pearly gates he sees Saint Peter , so he says to Peter "All my life I've been a committed Christian, but I just before I died I was tempted by a woman of ill repute". Saint Peter says "This is just an illusion, your dying brain is merely conjuring up images based on your presuppositions of an 'afterlife'. You have about three seconds left"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What does the Christian celebrate on Christmas? Christmas

thumb_up thumb_down +54

What is 0+0? 0, I am not dumb

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A horse walks into a bar and begins to moo. Everyone is confused until it takes off its costume and reveals it's just a cow.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? open the door and put him in.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why was Jacob not allowed to play sports? He fell down in the middle off the street and got ran over 50 times and could never do anything again.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I don't really like holocaust jokes because my grandpa was in it. Yeah he was drunk and fell off his guard tower.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you make a drug dealer cry? Just say no

thumb_up thumb_down +12

One day a boy asks his teacher what blue velvet is then the teacher says "we don't ask questions like that in my class go to principal's office now"so the boy goes to the principal's office and then the boy asks "what is blue velvet"then the principal says"no one says that in my school get out" so the boy goes home and asks his mom what is blue velvet then his mom says you don't say stuff like that in my house get out!so the boy see's the Mayer. So the boy asks the Mayer what blue velvet is then the Mayer says no one says that in my town get out of my town! So the boy see's a man and the boy goes to the man and the man asks what happend to you and the boy says well I got kicked out of school kicked out of my house and got thrown out of town just because i asked what blue velvet is! So the man tells the boy that there is a lady across the street. So the boy is in the road and then the boy gets ran over and dies. So the lesson here is look both ways before crossing a street

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Friends are like trampolines, I always wanted a trampoline

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A blonde enters a bar and orders an elevator.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

yo mammas so fat when she gets cut gravy pours out

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Want to hear a dirty joke? A horse fell in the mud.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What do you call a black girl scout? A brownie

thumb_up thumb_down +8

sure!

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What do short Mexicans do after a hot shower? Dry off with a towel like everyone else,

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a bathtub full of dead babies? A tradegy.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the male propagate the female? Because he was drugged. Slyly, this foxy female had slipped the male the date rape drug and a dangerous amount of viagra. During intercourse, the male ripped a gaping hole in the female's stomach and killed her. He woke up confused inside a dead stinking corpse.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Knock Knock Come in, the door's open.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

My Roomate-(crying in the fetal position for the love of his life has been murderer) Me- (laughing) I have a problem

thumb_up thumb_down -73

Knock, knock. Who's there? Gestapo.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is the difference between Chuck Norris and a frog one wears pants and the Chuck Norris doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q:Why did the little girl jump in the pool and drown? A:because she didn't know how to swim

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops