Q: What is a duck's favorite thing to smoke? A: Quack

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Why'd Mary fall off her bike? Because she was hit by a bus. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Mary... O.o

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer-pressure.

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Derp

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What's heavier: a kilogramme of steel or a kilogramme of feathers? A kilogramme of steel, because steel is heavier than feathers.

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roses are blue violets are green I am colorblind

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A man is on anti jokes, he is not laughing.

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when trouble come down in your neighborhood who you gonna call? the local law enforcement or another form of personal protection

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#Divorced, beheaded and died! #Divorced, beheaded, survived! # He's Henry VIII, he had six sorry wives #Some might say he ruined their lives!!!!!!! #Catherine of Aragon was one. # She failed to give him a son #He had to ask her for a divorce. #That broke her poor heart of course. #Young Anne Boleyn, she was two #Had a daughter, the best she could do #He said she flirted with some other man #And off with the chop, went dear Anne! #Lovely Jane Seymour was three! #The love of his lifetime indeed! #She gave him a son #Little Price Ed #Then poor old Jane...went and dropped dead! #Divorced, beheaded and died! #Divorced, beheaded, survived! #He's Henry VIII, he had six sorry wives #Some might say he ruined their lives!!!!!!! #Anne of Cleeves came at four #He fell for the portrait he saw! #But laid eyes on her face, and cried #SHE'S A HORSE! I MUST HAVE ANOTHER DIVORCE! #Catherine Howard was five #A child of nineteen, so alive #She flirted with others, no way to behave #The AXE sent young Cath to her grave! #Catherine Parr, she was last #By then all his best days were past #He lay on his death bed, aged just fifty-five! #Lucky Catherine- the last stayed alive! #I mean, how unfair! #Divorced, beheaded and died! #Divorced, beheaded, survived! # He's Henry VIII, he had six sorry wives #You could say he ruined their lives!!!!!!! And the moral of the story is: Never buy a car without knowing it's background.

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How do you choke a lawyer? You squeeze his neck until he stops breathing.

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How do you make a little boy cry? Cut off his legs.

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How do you act when you discover that the 'Submit' button doesn't work? Wait for a while until the problem fixes itself and you are able to perform the desired function.

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Hahaahahahahahahaahahahahahaahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahaahahah :)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) I screw with you Hahahahahahahahahaahaggahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahah

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My mom was telling my brother how much it hurt when she stubbed her toe. He told her she should try child birth.

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i like turtles

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Roses are red, Violets are violet They are not blue You stupid twat

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Whats so funny? That kid has down syndrome

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hey, my names mark.

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What do you call an angry black man? Angry.

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What is big, hard, and bushy? My Penis. I lied about it being bushy.

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Knock Knock! Who is there? Me. Let me in. Oh, okay, Come in.

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Why couldn't Jimmy ride a bike Jimmy is a goldfish

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What do I smell like to you?? Crap.

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Why didn't the boy want to go to school? Because it was 3am.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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