What do you get when you shoot 3 cute kittens that have just walked into the house? 3 dead kittens

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What was the last song those aboard the Titanic sang? "Staying alive"

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What did the man with Alzheimer's get for Christmas? Happy New Year!

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Why don't men have menstruation? -Because it sucks

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What did the skeleton say when he was horny? Nothing. Skeletons are not living and therefore cannot be horny.

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You want to know how I got these scars? A horrible knife throwing accident.

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Is this the krusty krab? NO! THIS IS red lobster, how many i help you?

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If an ice cream van goes out of business, who drove the Jeep into the furniture store? To get to the other side.

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Your momma is so fat that when she fell over, she couldn't get back up without help, and she probably got several bruises.

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What's funnier than the Holocaust? Everything, because the Holocaust was a dark time. poop in the buttcheeks

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What happened when a gay man asked a straight man what time it was? He told him the correct time, they parted ways and went about with their lives.

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What is yellow, smooth, and dangerous? Shark-infested custard

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I like my women how I like my coffee; without a penis.

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Guy 1: why are you such a douche? Guy 2: cause douches get the most p***y

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A man heard a thundering sound. It was thunder.

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What did the police say to the black man who just shot his wife? You are under arrest

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The Detroit Lions

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What's worse than getting raped by a black guy? Getting raped by a radioactive black guy

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Did you hear the joke about the deaf kid? He didn't either.

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There was a black man a Spanish man and an Asian in the back of a police car. The end

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Whats worse than 2 holocausts? 2 and one tenth of a holocaust

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A man walks into town and takes a shit!

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What is brown and smells like bacon? Bacon

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A wise man once said, "Your life is your habits." So simple yet so true. My habits include: Breathing, having my heart beat, producing brain waves, and other regulatory bodily processes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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