What's worse than finding ants in your kitchen? A truckload of dead babies.

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What's orange and doesn't bounce? A flat basketball

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What did walt disney say to the Jew? Nothing. Walt Disney didn't know the man was Jewish and didn't have time to make himself acquainted with the fellow.

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Mary had a little lamb, its heart was black as coal, it crept into her room one night and ate her f***ing soul

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why was the spoiled girl running from her parents? because they weren't her parents, they were kidnappers and were going to sell her into underground sex trafficking markets where she would probably spend the rest of her life being a slave.

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How do u keep annoying children off your front lawn? Molest Them.

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What is the #1 cause of pedophiles? Sexy children

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Why didn't the Mexican go to college? He was caught smuggling drugs over the border and was shot.

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poo

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? ...hey, it's kinda fun to type tootsie... ...tootsie tootsie tootsie...

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...and I'm a Mormon.

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What did jell say to the carriage driver from Uzbekistan that was underpaid and had no banter? Oh My God ROFLMAOOTG (the last three are "on the ground") "I will beat you with a small child that I will soon feed to the T-Rex's" should be on the list.

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Two monkeys are sittin in a bathtub. The first monkey says to The second, "HEY! pass the soap." The second says to the The first monkey, "DUDE. thats not soap, its a typewriter!!!!"

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CHAD'S A FAG!!!

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A train conducter conducts at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph, if he goes under 2 bridges and over 3 hills what did the conductors mother have for dinner that night. Nothing she was raped then promptly murdered.

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Why do women have boobs? So you've got something to look at while you talk to them. That's sexist... I'm sorry.

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Why didn't the parakeet eat my diarrhea? I already ate it.

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roses are red, violets are blue, im not going out with someone that belongs in a zoo.

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Why is this website called anti-jokes? i don't know but it makes sense.

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Q: Why didn't i save my work? A: Because i didn't do any work?

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch

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Printing billions of counterfeit dollars...in ones.

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What's the difference between jokes and anti-jokes? Anti-jokes aren't funny.

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What happened when the man crossed the road? He lived happily ever after because he looked both ways for traffic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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