whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

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What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? Whatever their name is.

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Roeses are red lemons are sour open your legs and give me an hour

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Q. what does a metal slinkey and a retarded person have in common? A. you will smile watching one fall down the steps

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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Knock, knock. "Who's there?" "Monica" "Monica who?" "Monica Lebinsky, your neighhbor"

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Two scientists are working in a lab. The first one asks, "Do you want some sodium?" The second one pours acid into the first one's eyes.

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Wizard: If you could get any one thing in the world, what would it be son? Son: Another father that grants more wishes.

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Why did the Germans conquer Poland so quickly? Heavy military manufacturing and Blitzkrieg battlefield tactics.

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A blonde walked into a phone pole.

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YOLO

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Why didn't the bear go snowboarding? It was hibernating

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If Johnny has 5 apples and Susie has 7 apples, will they give them to the homeless?

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what black and white and read all over? a woman who has just been beaten and raped covered in semen.

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What's worse than discovering that you have contracted HIV? Stumbling upon a mass genocide. HIV's pretty bad though.

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What do you do when you have 2 eggs, but only want to use 1? I don't know. I guess you could just use 1 of them and save the other for another time?

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So this one time at band camp... a flute gave me an STD.

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Q: What was the proctologist doing on the street? A: He was observing the assfault.

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A bar walking into a mans house, then the blonde says stupid words like why did the chicken of the sea cross the road and pigeons go moo moo like a cow.

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Knock Knock? Who's There? Not a Jehovah's Witness, let me in!

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Black Poeple

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Why did the deaf man attend the music concert? He was invited by friends and wasn't doing anyhting else that evening.

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Q.why did the chicken cross the road A. To eat some Kentucky Fried Chicken get it KFC

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What's the difference between peanut butter and jam ? Among many things, one is made with peanut butter, the other with fruits.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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