Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Mom Mom who? Open the door idiot

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Titanic with will smith. Girl: I wont ever let go of you. Leo: Drowns. Smith: Move your fat ass over girl, there is like room for me and fifthy kids there yo! Me: Bitch if you need to float on a piece of wood where six of us could fit, im gonna drown you.

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't. Her head was stuck in the oven.

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what's brown and sticky? A Stick

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Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon and Micheal Jackson molests little boys.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar asks "Why the long face?". The horse replies " I am deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law."

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Passing by

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What was the only thing the little boy from tanzania had? AIDS.

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I am back with more jokes! -Lets go Mets It is best to dislike this one

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If your yacht is if moving at 50 knots per hour in a wind tunnel how many leprechauns can you fit in a chamber? Even, because purple is attracted to bestiality.

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How do you get a nun pregnant? You have sex with her

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Why was the 18 year old white male late for his college class. On his way to college he got in a car accident and killed 5 people and he walked away unharmed

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Did you hear the one about the Gay Irish Politician who was running for President?! He withdrew his candidacy.

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Beating cancer. Guess Steve Jobs they didn't make an app for that.

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Whats the definition of not winning? Charlie sheen losing custody of his son because he is a coked out, old man douche bag, who only gets told what he wants to hear because he forks out lots of money to gold digging hookers.

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what did Tim get for Valentimes day? nothing, no such day exists. spell check

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Roses are Red, uh..uh..ahhhhh oh shit I just came that curse is true

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? Someone left the gate open.

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have some pints then leave to do their respective tasks for the day.

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Q: Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? A: Because she was a woman.

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Why did the ground beef taste funny? Because little Timmy fell in the grinder.

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what happened to the man with no arms or legs when he was pushed down a hill? nobody knows he is still going ........................................................................

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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