a man walks into a bar, and says "can i get a beer please?" the bartender hands him his beer, and as soon as the man starts to take a drink, the man dies of a massive heart attack because of his unhealthy lifestyle

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Why did Adele suck the doctors dick? LOL, did you think the doctor really got her to open her mouth all the time so he could "look at her sick throat"

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Why doesn't little billy eat his vegetables at the dinner table... Because billy has bin dead for 3 years

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Why did the kid poop his pants? He was a baby

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Q: What's orange, hairy, and covered with gasoline? A: Definitely not a chair.

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a man walks into a bar he suffer's bad injuries by Mad

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Why did the girl scream in terror? Because her parents are being murdered.

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Did you hear about the 4'10" psychic that escaped from prison? It's on the news! "Small Medium At Large."

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Chuck Norris can carry very heavy objects.

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Roses are red violets are blue I have five fingers the middle one is for you.

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What battle did Napoleon die in? His last one.

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What do you call a really small grape? A grape.

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what did the apple say to the banana nothing, bananas cant talk

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why did the kid drop his ice cream? because he got ran over by a bus! (not a original, just funny)

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You're mother is so retarded that I probably shouldn't be making fun of her because it would be considered discriminatory.

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Why was little Timmy an orphan? His family were slaughtered when he was three.

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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What do you get when you cross a cantaloupe and a dog? "Melon-choly"

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what happened to the frog that had a car accident, nothing it's dead

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What did michael J. Fox say when someone asked him to play catch? "sorry, I'm busy".

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Why did the rabbit cross the road? I don't know, I was asking you.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realizing the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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What's worse than a giant paint bubble? TWO GIANT PAINT BUBBLES!

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What do cows and grass have in common? They both say "moo", except for the grass.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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