Knock, Knock Who's there? Dave. Dave, who? Dave, your neighbor, I ran out of eggs making a quiche, could I borrow a few?

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a woman goes to an abortion clinic, kills a baby and still leaves pregnant.

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person one: ask me if im a carrot person two: are you a carrot? person one: nope (the walks away)

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Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? Well many scientists have theorized that a giant meteor hit the earth causing the extinction of most living things. Also if your christian : Dinosaurs never existed, evolution is the devils work, science is not the answer to the world's problems. Darwin was a foolish man, and thats that.

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What do you call a 400 pound man eating chocolate? diabetic

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Why din't Santa come to Timmy's house? Timmy died 6 months ago. :(

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What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

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make me a sandwich!

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What's worse than loading babies into a garbage truck. Answore: unloading them with a pitch fork.

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I have sex daily, I mean dyslexia.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? The chicken had no legs and was therefore incapable of committing to such a challenge.

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Roses are bald Violets are bald You are bald I think you have cancer.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 is a serial rapist with a violent temper.

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How do you make asian ice cream you mix it with a textbook

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5 little monkeys jumping on the bed 1 fell off and broke it's skull. Momma told the doctor and the doctor said,"Your a bad mom."

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What has two wheels and a handle bar? A bike.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken just lost his job and has entered into a deep depression. He was going to commit suicide at the local KFC, but as he walked into the KFC, he saw a beautiful woman. They lived a full and happy life together until the chicken died of old age. Turns out the woman was blind, and partially deaf.

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Why would you ever buy an antijoke book? BECAUSE ANTIJOKES ARE F***ING AWESOME!!!

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What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

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Q. What's pink and fluffy A. Pink fluff Q. What's blue and fluffy A. Blue fluff

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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked

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25

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A Sloth runs...

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Your mother is so old, she could easily be considered a senior citizen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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