What did the man with the gun say to the man without the gun? I have a gun

what is a bracket? a bracket

what did the muffin say to the other muffin when they were in the oven? hi, im a muffin

what do you call a child with bruises on his face? Child protective services.

You know that you are going to fail horribly when... your purpose generally defeats the mission.

Why did Hitler kill six million Jews? Why not?

Why couldn't the Asian man drive very well? He was blind from birth.

When the black man was driving his car, why did he stop in front of the gun store? Because his car's velocity reached zero at that location.

Whats better than winning gold at the special olympics? Not being retarded.

Why are you here? Because i'm not over there!

Once a upon a midnight haven. Along came a cow name Mr. Maven. For they say the cow was very lucky. But oh what a day for something very mucky. Oh ye the coming of Mr. Maven and his milk. And for every cereal there will be silk. But wait isn't Mr. Maven a guy? How can you milk him even if you try? I don't know, just sounds cool.

how do you kill a mexican? make him go to the cicus

What do you call a man that is half Chinese and half Irish? Whatever you want, he's deaf so he won't be able to hear you anyway.

Why do you call a person who spits in your cheeseburger? A mean person

A dog walks into a bar. A patron checks its tags and promptly calls the owner.

Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, I have Alzheimers, Hey i just met you.

you: "hey, is your refrigerater running?" random, confusded individual: "yeah" you: "oh."

What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo

mooooh im a cow

why did the man throw a stone in the lake? because he'd had a long day at work.

Why was the man running? He needed to get somewhere fast.

So there's a monkey in a bar. I forgot the rest of the joke but your moms a whore

What do you tell someone who says they are contemplating suicide? where to find some cheap cyanide

What has one head, three eyes and seven legs? A cow with a tri-pod rammed up it's arse. The third eye is a result of a birth defect.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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