What's big, blue, and eats rocks? A big blue rock eater.

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There were three soap salesmen in a bar. They were comparing how good they were at selling their wares. "I'm so good that I sell 60% of my soap bars each day," says the first salesman, bragging. The second one wasn't to be outdone. "I'm so good that I sell 80% of my soap bars," he declared. The last salesmen, who, up to the moment had been relatively quiet, suddenly said in a calm and collected manner, "Oh that's nothing. I'm so good that I sell all of my soap bars each day."

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SKnock Knock. Whose there? Why don't you open the door and find out instead of questioning the millions of other people that knock on your door everyday?

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Why did they bury the fireman at the side of the hill? Because he was dead

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Having a giant, angry ape on steroids rip your heart out and eat it before your eyes as you painfully die from the unbearable pain and rapid blood loss.

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youre gay

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What do you call a man who's being followed by 18 black guys? Dave, he's going to work and is stuck in traffic

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Q. What did the 300 pound Asian get for Valentine's day A. A jetpack. Except for the fact that the previous sentence was an obvious lie making this whole joke irrelevant.

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knock knock who's there? your destiny

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If pro- is the opposite of con-, what is the opposite of progress? regress

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The police shouldn't have cars. They should use skateboards and use flowers as their gun. When they catch a criminal in the act, they have to hug him before sending him to prison

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Why was sally mopping the floor? Because she was a slave

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Well judging by the fact that there's no actual door in between us I'm pretty sure you can decide who it is.." "'Well judging by the fact that there's no actual door in between us I'm pretty sure you can decide who it is' who?"

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What is the difference between a rock and a pencil? Your Mom.

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What did the priest say to the Atheist when he walked into the church? How are you?

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9 + 10 = How much yo mama makes.

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yo mama is so fat she has more rolls than basken robins does flavors

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Kevin: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl urinate? Bob: Because it's extinct? Kevin: No you idiot! The P is silent! Pterodactyl: RAARRGHH! (eats Bob)

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A duck walks into a bar and says he needs to buy a hammer. The bartender tells him that he's probably looking for the hardware store across the street. The duck realizes that he's disoriented again and should listen to his wife's many pleadings to get back on his medication.

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how do you break up with someone lightly and not hurt their feeling I dont want to hurt your feeling but i hate you

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What kind of nun would never drink milk? One who suffers from a severe lactose intolerance.

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what do rappers cover? ->CANDY CREDITS: ANUJ NARAYAN VARMA from Leland high school

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what is black and is a really bad neighbor. your bad neighbor wearing a black shirt.

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What is good about the holocaust? It is over

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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