were at work systems r down

A rapist and a little child walk through a dark forest. The little child says: "It's scary here." Rapist answers: "Tell me about, I gotta go back alone through here."

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had a gun...

Why did the chicken cross the road? To try to get the antidote for his dying baby chick.

What did the hispanic say to the black guy? I'm not sure. I wasn't listening because eavesdropping is rude.

A man in a state penitentiary drops his soap. He then picks it up and continues his shower.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Funding a half worm in your apple because you just ate half of a worm!

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question! Feminists can't change anything.

roses are blue violets are red... i have to use the bathroom

How many squirrels does it take to screw out a light bulb? None because squirrels lack the strength and mind set to screw out a light bulb.

Why did the Iraqi cross the road? Because he was hired by the CIA as an undercover operative to lead them to a highly dangerous target in the small town of Aziziyah and was leaving the area to avoid the impending Pavelow strike on the town center.

what do u call a joke with no punchline? A joke with no punchline

Why does little susie enjoy her life? Because it was her birthday 364 days ago.

what do you call a guy with no arms or legs and wearing red and white in the ocean? a dead person and someone needs to call the cops cause thats terrible.

How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

What do you call a group of black people in a lamboghini..... Unlikely

What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech? One is a blood-sucking parasite, and the other practices law for a living.

Do yo know what a decasexual is? A decasexual, as defined on various websites, is somebody who has strong physical attractions to male humans, female humans, male animals, female animals, sounds, smells, tastes, feelings, movements and objects. The term decasexual derives from the latin language, meaning "ten sexualities". Decasexuals exist everywhere.

My mom fell on our cat and it died.

What's worse than the holocaust? The Russian Revolution

A blind man walks into a bar and orders a beer. He has gotten used to being blind all his life.

Why was Timmy sad? He had 15 large cuban men slapping him for 27 hours straight.

what happens when you piss on a dead monkey nothing you just lose the urge to pee O.o

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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