Whats brown and sticky? A massive shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -95

Why did the taxi driver kill the blond? He didn't. It's illegal to murder people in most countries.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Tim tebow is the anti christ

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What did the hooker say to her employer after 1 hour....you owe my $20

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Pff, "Axel", you are a fucking amateur, I can convey your fucking message in two lines, and one and a half of those lines would be fucking swearing and insults. I am done with the fucking underground society, it used to be a great place for people to discuss real world matters rather than be blinded by the fucking lies of the media, and yes religion, if you ever worked for me, you know that the fucking bible is a textbook example of every goddamn brain washing technique there is. But if you where ever my allumni, id expect you to use those methods sparringly and only when neccesary. No wonder people consider you a fucking cultist, you use your fucking methods as smoke and mirrors rather than letting "your people" know, and teach them that you just use a bunch of verbal tricks. Mental-ism is not magic, and neither should it be implied to be part of the surreal, while I respect your ideology, you have misused it to acquire power and wealth from those you claim to protect, and while you do convey some good ideals, you are far too arrogant and ignorant for the role you have given yourself. Besides, even if you could protect "your people" as you claim you can, who the fuck is supposed to protect the rest from them?! That is some hard core methods you are abusing "Axel", and you know it, if you claim to be anti religion, then stop using the very same methods they do without teaching people how the methods work first! Moral: Never underestimate me, I enjoy behaving like a jackass, but it does not mean that I am one, as for you, you are a jackass which likes behaving like someone worthy of respect. I am still at the fucking hospital, so if you want some guidelines, speak here, and if you cant send me your contact information so we can chat on a proper phone, I will only have to assume that you are either a coward for not revealing your location to an obviously superior man ...Or... ...that... ...you... Are a fucking coward little bitch that simply keeps on hiding behind the people he claims to protect and shield! Start by admitting that I am far beyond your puny knowledge, and I might throw in a few lines of assistance. Moral 2: You are fucking using horse head network as we speak! I use it for bullshit and "iron manning", you shame the remains of the underground society for using it as means of "encoded messages" and at all!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Your mother is so ugly that when she looks in the mirror she feels bad about her appearance.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

roses are red. violets are violet...

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What is worse than Justin Bieber? Well, 1. Deforestation 2. Hurricanes 3. Diabetes 4. Mass Murder ....and probably much more.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is black and white and red all over? Yemen's national flag.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red Violets are twisted bend over now your about to get fisted

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock Knock. Whose there. We have a warrant for your arrest.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the n i g g e r steal money? because he was black! and wanted a KFC thanksgiving! :)

thumb_up thumb_down -61

What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

-I once had a dog with no legs, and do you know how I named him? -...? -I didn't name him, he wouldn't come...

thumb_up thumb_down -84

How do you avoid being hit with a toaster? You don't walk past the man hitting you with a toaster.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How do you make bread out of corpses? You don't. You grow it with bread seeds.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A handicapp walks into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the baker have brown hands: Because he was black

thumb_up thumb_down +3

You wanna know what's totally out of this world? The moon.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the batmobile? 'Get in the batmobile Robin'

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because at some point through out the day, it had been relocated to the other side of the road. Since it was feeding time, it needed to return to the chicken coop or else risk death due to starvation.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was 6 afriad of 7? Because 7 is a rapist.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Goats are like toilets, I shit in them

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops