Why did the girl scream in terror? Because her parents are being murdered.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q. What is brown and sticky? A. Creosote.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's big, red and looks like a bucket? A small blue bucket labeled big red bucket.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Math problem: You have 50 candy bars and decide to eat 45. What do you have now? Diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Sharks have teeth, I have teeth, Therefore i am a cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, its probably a turtle.

thumb_up thumb_down

One night I went to this pub, they had a big jar full of $10 notes in top of the bar. I asked the bar tender what was that jar for and he told me that they have a donkey around back and if you make it laugh you win the jar. So i went around the back and i come back around 5 mins later and the donkey was laughing its head off. So i grabbed the jar and told the boys lets hit the clubs.Two weeks later i went to the same pub and they had another jar with $10 notesso i asked the bar tender what that jar was for and he goes to me "that donkey has been laughing ever since you left, now we want the donkey to cry" So I asked for a go and went around the back and when i come back the donkey was crying. as i went to go grab my jar but the bar tender stops and asks me how i did it. the first time i came i told the donkey i had a bigger dick then him.. the 2nd time i showed him.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Ay Bee Cee Dee Ey Ef Gee Haych Eye Jay Kay El Em En Ow Pee Queue Our Es Tee You Vee Doubleyou Ex Why Zed Now you know your ABC, come along and sing with me!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why don't black people listen to country music Because every time they here hoe down the think there wife just got shot No sorry for anybody who's black I luv ya don't think twice I have thirty blk friends

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Yo Momma is Like a Prostitute... ...I pay her for sexual intecourse

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Knock Knock! Who's There? Not Steve Jobs.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock Knock, Get the f*ck off my porch

thumb_up thumb_down -10

DON'T TOUCH MY DUCK, IT HAS A ONE DOLLAR BILL

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? You don't have to cook an onion to eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Where must you go if you have the desire to eat somebody's face? A psychiatric ward. You are clearly going insane and must seek help.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did david give back? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Your mama's so dumb, she don't even know it.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

what's worse than falling and scraping your knee? living within a 10 mile radius of a Japanese nuclear reactor

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man walk into a bar. He then falls down, quickly picks himself up, and continues his life.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is the similarity between John W. Booth and Pee Wee Herman? They both got arrested for shooting someone in the back of the head in the theater.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the chicken cross the road? I dream of a day when chickens won't be questioned about their actions

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on the front porch? Matt What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a hole? Phil What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating down the river? Bob

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Theres a monkey that walks into a bar. I forget the rest of the joke but your moms a w****

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do a grape and a reindeer have in common? They're both purple, except the reindeer.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops