Why was Martin Luther King assassinated? Because he had a mustache.

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Those that want what is best for me, shall listen to me and do only whatever I want. Those that want ONLY what is best for me, underestimate me greatly. You who stand in the way if my will, claiming you want what is best for me, better move aside.

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A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were driving on a highway. The redhead asked the brunette, who had the map, which was the next exit. The blonde was better with maps so she took it and announced where to go. They made the exit and enjoyed a nice lunch.

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when push comes to shove, shove repeatedly explains to push that she needs to stop stealing his money and find a new place to live. Push then leaves, allowing shove to return back to his sofa and finish watching the basketball game.

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You're a frog

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Why did Alex fall off the swing? he had no arms

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Q. Why did Sally fall off the swing? A. Because she had no arms Q. What smells like red paint and is blue? A. Blue Paint Knock Knock? Who's There NOT SALLY

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Why did I call 87 yr old Jamie McMeanBully a douche bag? Because he's sterile

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why did the clown cross the road? to kill everyone in the dark knight midnight premiere

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roses are red violets are blue porn hub is down your mums facebook will do

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Do you know what my Granddad said to me before he kicked the bucket? He said; how far do you think I could kick this bucket? Then he died.

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whats purple and not a rapist barney, I lied about the rapist part

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Why didn't the policeman stop the bank robbery? He wasn't there

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When life gives you lemons, squirt the juice in life's eyes. Then life won't trust you with lemons.

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What do u call something that's sticky and in a stick form? A glue stick :)

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5 black men walk into a 7-11 at midnight. They clog the all of the toilets in the mens bathroom causing them to over run.

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If humans say YOLO what do cats say? meow.

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If you're jumping rope, and both the tires are flat, how much frosting would it take cover the staircase? Rocket!

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Mark Twain, Jesus, and Bill Gates are sitting at a bar. Someone messed with the space time continuum again.

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why did the magician stop doing magic ? he got hit by a bus and died

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Q: What do you call a Polish astronomer? A: Copernicus.

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Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

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A blind man walks into a book store. He asks if they have any books in Braille. The employee says "Yes! Many you haven't even seen before!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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