How do you save a black man from drowning? I don't know GOOD!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a black man in a suit and tie? Presumably affluent

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did peter fall off his bike? Because Peter is a goldfish.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A squirrel and an owl are sitting in a tree. A farmers walks by underneath, and the squirrel turns to the owl and says nothing, because squirrels can't talk and neither can owls. Then the owl eats the squirrel because it is a bird of prey.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

getting up in the morning is the 3nd hardest thing :DDD

thumb_up thumb_down +2

An alphabet walks into the post office and asks for a letter. What does the postal worker give the alphabet? Nothing. Alphabets can't walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whay lawrence pearson ir r8 gay

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A Jew, a Muslim and a Christian walk into a bar. The Muslim is dissatisfied with the choice of the meeting place since the Islam forbids drinking alcoholic beverages.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the little boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A Drumset.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself at night.

thumb_up thumb_down +240

Ebola

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why did little suzy fall off the swing? she was stabbed by a drugaddict

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why does Billy hate waiting in line? Because he's impatient.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what happened to the boy that walked down the street he got hit by a falling street light

thumb_up thumb_down +29

If you watch a pregnancy backwards, it is about a baby that is inserted between the legs of a woman and is slowly broken down for energy and the remains are finally sucked up by a man's genitals. There isn't a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

(you will only get this if you play minecraft) whats green and looks like a penis? a creeper!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Chuck Norris doesn't just have a chin underneath his beard. He also has part of his neck underneath his beard.

thumb_up thumb_down

Who smokes a lot of weed and speaks 5 different languages? Rosetta Stoner.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A hipster gets summoned for jury duty. The case is solved promptly and everyone goes home happy.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A scientist walks into a bar. His forehead becomes swollen.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

once there was a man named steve. he happily sniffs pot every day after work. especially on sundays. one day, his family finds him sniffing pot. they are disgusted and disappointed in his bad decisions. so they join him

thumb_up thumb_down -54

What's there like a good neighbor? Your neighbor

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Guess what? Chicken butt! No I have aids, you might want to get yourself tested

thumb_up thumb_down +6

4

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops