Q: What did Peter say after a long day of work when he got home? A: Nothing, in fact he has job, home, family, or anyone to help him. His leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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So a man walks into a bar. Well, he trips over it because it was very low to the ground and he didn't see it.

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What is the best anti joke? Dunno cant think of one

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i just wrote this so hard

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What was the dying boy's last wish? Not to die.

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How do you kill Glenn Campbell? Stab him with a screwdriver.

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Roses are red Violets are blue My dick can talk And it says it wants you

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The iguana is the only mammal capable of photosynthesis.

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A man comes home early from work to find that his wife is in bed with another man, startled by his presence the wife quickly utters 'it's not what it looks like", the husband however, disregards this comment and later files for a divorce

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How is it you become the true badass you say? Its a very complicated process that takes decades of training, and many failed attempts on before you become the one, true badass on the entire planet. Once you had done it. People will love you forever, there would be parades, parties, celebrations, even a holiday, just for you and you alone. Too bad I'll never tell you.

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Mitt Romney is in the mormon mafia has magic underpants and invented Obama Care but he still lost to a Black guy Who is a fine president.

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milly, milly, milly, cat

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimer's Cheese and toast

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why did the 60 year old touch the little boy's penis? because he was a pedophile.

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What happens if you're in the middle of counting towels? You finish counting your towels.

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What do you call a muslim? A terrorist

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Why couldn't the old man play the piano? His arthritis caused him great pain.

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Q: What did the duck say to the other duck? A: Quack

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What do you get when you cross a Dachshund and a Nazi? Bestiality. Ew.

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You stink so bad that you should cleanse yourself via shower and/or bath.

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Dog is walking through a park and is almost stepped on by a horse. Dog says, "Hey, watch where you're going!" Horse says, "Well, looky here! A talking dog!"

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Roses are red hulk is green, I'd smash that ass, If you know what I mean !

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what type of cat has green feathers? a green-feathered cat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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