What did the cancer patient get for Christmas? Nothing, cause he didn't make it till Christmas...

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Granny porn!

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What happens when you die? Your body gets decomposed by bacteria

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There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

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Jimmy said he would never beat his wife, so why did he do it anyway? Because he was a hypocrite.

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What is a black person's favorite color? There are many different colors and it would be unrealistic to believe that all the people of a single race would choose the same one as their favorite.

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Why couldn't the prostitute count to 70? She grew up in a poor family and couldn't pay for a good education.

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How do you confuse a blonde? You ask her a question.

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What do you do when you come across a dead baby? Add it to your collection.

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A man spots Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles. He proceeds to tell his friends the story, who in turn believe him, as the story is plausible.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What did the white guy say to the Mexican when he entered the US? How was your flight?

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Go to this website and this game is an antijoke to laugh at http://iamhelenkeller.com/

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Why couldn't the cat drink his milk? Because his ears were stapled to the floor.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue If you think this is gonna rhyme, You're dead wrong.

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If you are swimming in a tree how many dogs does it take to crack a duck? The answer is 4 because nothing rhymes with orange

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what's funnier than AIDS on a holocaust boy? everything. AIDS and the Holocaust are two terrible things.

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What did the clown say to the other clown? I was not present at this conversation, and therefore I was not able to catch what they were saying

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if life gives you the back.. TOUCH HER ASS

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monkeys that understand what people say dont understand what people say because they understand CC

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Teacher- What comes after 69 Boy- Mouthwash?? Teacher- LEAVE!

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There is no I in team... But there is a u in suck. There is no I in team, but there is in awesome

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when I shaved this morning....... hairs went down the sink

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why was 6 afraid of 9? because 7 ate 9 and 6 is afraid of ghosts

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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