Why was john's balls itchy? Because he recently gained a severe infestation of pubic lice.

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2 muffins were in the oven when one turned to the other and said. "Damn it's hot in here" The second muffin looked at him with a shocked expression and exclaims "She's burning the potatoes!"

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Why did the surrealist go to the doctor? Knock Knock.

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what do you call cheese that isn't yours? cheese.

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Why does Mike Tyson always win his fights? Because he hides in a refridgerator

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A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

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A African americia and a Hispanic are in a car, who's driving? The police man

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What did one duck say to the other? Well, it said "Quack" but it's not certain if it was actually addressing the other duck or if it was just making a noise in response to some other stimulus.

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whats yellow and very big? I dont know. no one will tell me

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What did the blind, deaf, retarded kid get for Christmas? Spoiled.

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Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A: You murder her friends and family.

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Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, Oh damn I'm blind.

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Why did a black man toss a bowl into the air? Because he just got it from the microwave and it was extremely hot.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who, Your Doctor, you have 5 months to live

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Women's rights

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What did the little boy with diabetes get for Christmas? A shot of insulin; just like every other day.

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i know leaves are green because of chlorophyll but i don't know how to get a mortgage this is the kind if shit your parents pay for

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Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup? He's not doing anything, sir. He's dead.

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2 drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. Bu dum, cshhhh.

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What Makes Me Smile? Face Muscles.

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What did the convicted pedophile do to the ten year old boy? He molested him.

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What can you eat that comes in all different flavors. Chex mix, I bet you thought it was women but its not its chex mix

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The street outside of my house is covered in jelly. I have done this.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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