How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? In most people who lie eyebrows may raise, eyes may widen and gaze may alter, anal sphincter usually tightens, breathing often quickens marginally, external body temperature alters and sweat (and therefore skin electrical conductivity) increases.

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why dont you throw rocks at a mexican on a bike? its unethical and can severely hurt the individual on the bike

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Steve Jobs Died today. So did 56 million other people.

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How does a plumber cross the street? Using his legs

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What happend to the boy with no family? he died in a tragic car accident along with his family

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What is Freddie Mercury's favorite planet? Earth.

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A sphere rolls around the corner and falls over.

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? He graduated at the top of his class with a master's degree in engineering.

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Actually it was me Josh brown

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Knock knock Come In.......

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What's black and white and red all over? Nothing, it is impossible for something to be red all over if there is black and white also.

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A dog walks into a bar and the bartender gives him a bowl of water because it is hot outside and he doesn't want the dog to dehydrate because he could die.

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How come dinosaurs don't talk? Because they're dead.

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What's the difference between shoes and babies? You can't eat shoes.

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Whats gayer then dancing with the stars? Justin beiber

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Q: What's worse than finding a shrimp platter on a babys hand. A: A baby's hand on a shrimp platter

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what do you get when a bear and a man mix a really pissed off bear and a dead man

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An old jewish man, an irish man, and a young mexican woman in her mid 20's are on an island. They eventually become hungry to a extremely ravishing extent. The jew cries out: "I can't take the thought of consuming man, because I am only allowed to consume kosher" The Mexican says: "Alright" The Irishman says: "O.K. Until then lets head over to Timilio's... I hear they are a fine establishment and also serve Kosher meals."

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BF:Roses r red Violets r blue a face like ur's shuld b i n the zoo but dont worry i'll be there but not in the cage but laughing at u. GF:Wanna c a magic trick? POOF ur single

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What is a five letter word that sounds just like trucks? Vroom

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A Christian, a Jew, and a Hindu walked into a bar - guess what happened then? Well two of them are alcoholics so they wisely changed their minds and left, then the other one got bored so he left too.

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poopy is poopy

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? After losing its family, the chicken had became an adrenaline junkie and enjoyed the rush of doing such dangerous things. It subsequently became addicted to opium.

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What do you call a shark on land A dead shark

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops