what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Wheres my tractor?

The Pope, a Rabi and an Islamic religious leader go into a room and come out with what? A new understanding of each others cultures.

Q: What's worse than getting a divorce? A: I don't know, i'm still married.

Why did you insult me and then punch me in the face? The hell if you care anymore, I killed you straight after. Neo-Nero. (Rest in peace Nero7 better known as The Moral Man, I hope I can one day live up to your greatness.) Moral: "Keep your spirits up, we are all going to die sometime, but life means nothing if we lose faith in ourselves and each other" Moral 2: "Nero Septimus, that will be my first and last moral that made a figment of fucking sense, if you are watching from whatever comes from life, I know that this is what you would have done, but just so you know and always wanted for us that followed you, I am doing this for my own goddamn fucking self, respects... Now if your ghost is still watching, get the fuck out of my room you damn cripple, and know that your arm is somewhere in the basement because its so goddamn bad ass that it fucking freaks me out, and so fucking heavy that I think you where some sort of superhuman, now gtfo, as you taught us, we cant focus on the goddamn afterlife, if we are gonna get the best out of life and the present, adios amigo"

SOY COMO SOY Y ME ENCANTA SI NO ME VALORAS ESE ES TU PEDO

What did the blind, deaf and dumb lady name her kid? Sebastion.

I went up to my friend and she said to me, "Foop." I calmly went to the nearest teacher and told her that Susie is having a mental breakdown again

Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah Witness

A blind child sign is at the end of my street. I have never seen the child, but at least if he were to come outside at the right time period i might be able to spot him, whereas he would having no way of returning the gesture.

How does an asian man drive? He hops into the car, turns the ignition, slowly accelerates from his parking spot and merges into everyday traffic

I ounce had a parrot it talked buy never said im hungry so it died

Jake pulled out a gun and held it to his head, planning to fool his friends because he knew the gun was empty. Then his friend thought he was helping out his suicidal friend by stabbing him.

Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

What part of the cape were you on? Cod.

What notes does the tightrope-musician have to worry about? They probably have to concentrate generally harder than the average musician in order to produce any correct, good quality notes.

How many finger does a normal person have? 8...and 2 thumbs!!

Jack Oliver has a Bowl.

Why did the mother stop breastfeeding her son? Because he was twenty five.

A kid comes across an injured duck near a lake. Nevermind he doesn't see it he's really high.

Did you see that picture of Helen Keller's dad? Yes. She didn't.

Inquiry: After the specially hired detective in shades of black had managed to finish his secret investigation of the crime scene, what significant affair did he demand and expect to subsequently occur next in the logical chain of events? Answer: A specific transaction of money. To elaborate, immediate providance of previously allotted recompense in the particular configuration of myriad pristine wads of cash.

Dislike this joke for a cookie However if you like this joke you dont get a cookie

your a vagina says you, your a booby

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


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MOAR??

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