What did the African boy get for his Christmas present for the first time? Leprosy

thumb_up thumb_down +40

doctor doctor i have been having a sore head recently . doctor : have you hurt your head yes

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Hey, what do you call an absent-minded person? I'm sorry what did you say?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the blind, deaf rabbit get for Easter? . . . Eaten by a by a lion.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to a chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first one says "Boy, it sure is hot in here." The second one says "Holly shit! A talking muffin!" As muffins generally don't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I think people who go to see a psychiatrist need their head examining.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did little Johnny fall off his swing? He had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man walks into a bar. As he walks in, numerous people turn their heads in awe. Is it... it can't be. It's Paul McCartney, the famous musician! "Oh - I'm not Paul McCartney". The man then said. "I just look a lot like him. Sorry." "Awww. That's a shame." said John Lennon, disappointed.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Yo' Momma is so fat she weighs a lot!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A dog run after a squirrel. the pursuit didn't last long the squirrel climb a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Really sorry Red, I did not mean to leave you hanging, and I hope you wont leave me hanging either, I just need my meds or thinks can get ugly, my health, I can tell you and even show you what my condition is, and heck show you my meds, but there are certain things even I wont spread on horsehead network, you know, people are so bitchy here on the internet, and if people knew what I got, yeaaah, I may start getting green thumbs, and I HAAAAAAATE those. Seriously, on a scale of zero (my ass) to ten, how insane do you see me as?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q:Why did the kid drop his ice cream A:He was hit by a car

thumb_up thumb_down -26

why did the girl fall off the slide? she was pushed, by her dad...

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q. What's better then a baby in a microwave? A. What the hell is wrong with you? Did your parents not love you enough when you were born? Everything is worse then a baby in a microwave! Besides the felony charges it is extremely wrong! Your going to hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

what happened to the autistic child that traveled to antarctica? he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Having a refrigerator fall on you

thumb_up thumb_down -154

who sells coke and ruins lives? Vagina Parker

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Just gonna stand there and watch me roar. But that's alright because I am a dinosaur.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero? Because it is impossible, the answer is undefined.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Have you heard of the mute man that kept telling people he could not talk? Its funny because its true.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: Why Cant The T-Rex Clap? A: No, Its Not Because His arms are to short, Its because he's Dead You Idiot...

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why can't vegetarians eat mushrooms because I can't urinate over a scotch bonnet :/

thumb_up thumb_down -11

While out looking for sex last week I met a hooker who looked like a rhino. I said to her, "Do you charge?" She said, "Sir, I am arresting you under the Street Offences Act 1959. You do not have to say anything. But it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned something which you later rely on in court."

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops