A man walk into a bar. Just kidding he has no legs.

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Why did the murder walk up to the lady in the car? It was his mom.

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Q: what do you call a camel with a garbage bag on its head? A: A ziploc baggie

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Q: How did Mary get frostbite A: Her mother locked her in a freezer

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Why is Henrik so AWESOME? Cos HE just IS!!!!

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What is my favorite color? How the heck should I know?

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whats worse than vegetables? Fisting Grandmas

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A three-legged prostitute, a coal miner, and R. Kelly walk into an all-midget rendition of Stravinsky's Rite of Spring. The miner has a heart attack and dies. The concubine and the vocalist do nothing to help.

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what did the man with no arm get for Christmas? A rowboat

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There is a newly wed couple, a biker and his biker lady friends. The newly wed man says to his wife, "Pass the honey, honey". One of the biker chicks looks over. Five minutes later the man says to his wife, "Pass the sugar, sugar". They biker chick looks back at them and then asks the biker man, "Why don't you treat us like that?" " You know your right. Pass the bacon... lovely". And from that day on the bikers lived in peace and harmony.

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There were three brothers. Big, Harry and Dick. They were walking along the road and were all instantly killed by a drunk driver. Their names were never mentioned and their story was used as a promotion for the seriousness of drunk driving and should not be taken lightly.

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Why can't antelopes fly? Because they can't

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What is the best part about being in bed with twenty eight year olds? There are twenty of them

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Why did the crack addict see colors. He was looking at the northern lights

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Why did the dude fall? Because he tripped over a stick.

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Your mom is so fat, she had liposuction.

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- On the cliff edge are standing three people: an Asian, Jewish and black man. Who's going to fall first? - Who's going to care about this?

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Roses are red Violets are actually purple You should probably see an eye doctor.

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João Duarte reads this.

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why was the man gay? Because its not a choice. its a lifestyle.

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What's worse than losing one of your socks? Being jewish during the holocaust

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A white guy jumps over the fence belonging to a Mexican family

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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What's the difference between a red door and a blue door? Fat black people.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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