What did the pear say to the orange? Orange ya gonna say hi? What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing, apples can't talk.

What jew get for christmas? Your money.

What's green and has wheels? Grass...I was just lying about the wheels.

Dear emma brown i would appreciate if i could have my dick back, the you squeezed of wwith you ass cheeck -jackson edwards

John: Do you like Cake? Sue: Yes. John: Alright.

What is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

how do you wash clothes in the diswasher? you turn it on.

A blond, a brunette, and a redhead got into a street fight. who won? The redhead because she had a gun.

do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

You are a special guy, and I mean that in a really sweet way, but a retard no. Synapses, tell me more please.

What did the black kid get for christmas? Probably nothing as the social economy of the black race has been low in 2011 and hasn't raised by a penny in 2012.

Yo mama is so dumb, she makes blondes look smart!

A Mexican, A Jew and a Irishman walk into a grocery store...The Mexican buys some bread, the Jew buys some bread... and the Irishman buys some bread.

High school is like forced anal sex, Hard, painful, and you cry your hopes and dreams at the end of it all.

How did the little boy fall off his bycicle? Prior to this incident, a psychopathetic killer murdered his family. Therefore, to escape the killer, the boy got onto his bycicle in hopes of manuvering away from the threat. Since it was nighttime he did not notice the fault in the asphalt.( No ryhme intendid.) From flipping over his handlebars, he fell unconcious. Upon the killer spotting the boy, he sliced his head off and left the scene to not be spotted by police.

What's the difference between a park bench and a black man? Nothing. They're both capable of supporting a family of three.

Why did Billy start crying? Because he was abandoned at a young age- and was bullied since childhood in the orphanage.

Q: whats worse than ten babies in one trash can A: one baby in ten trash cans

What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? Nothing, he was in tremendous pain.

What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

What's brown and says "Hey, I'm a dog"? A talking dog, able to grasp the English language.

What did Steve Hagen say to Steve Walters? "We have the same first name."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who let out the chicken?!?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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