Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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Why does Tim Tebow kneel and pray after there's a positive outcome of the previous play? No, seriously, why does he do that?

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what do you call a baby rapest jordan gregg

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How are friends and trees alike? They fall down when you hit them with an ax.

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What did the janitor have for breakfast? Food

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What's worse than a dog peeing on your new flower garden? A terrorist attack.

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I went to work Got paid, Then came home.

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Two men walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

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What does a Cuban do when he gets a flat tire? He pulls over and replaces it.

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Hey I just met you I'm on bathsalts your face looks tasty

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How many fingers am i holding up? none, my hand got blown off in Vietnam

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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What's black and buried in my backyard? An African American, I'm a member of the Ku Klux Klan

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is blind and is therefore ineligible for a driver's license.

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What do a ginger kid get for christmas ? it dusen't matter... gingers don't have souls.

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what do you call your mama at the gas station

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What do we call the science of classifying living things? Racism

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? He has retinopathy of prematurity and was born blind.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Were both lawyers.

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What did the penguin say to the fisherman? Nothing, they are different animals, and thus, unable to communicate.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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How do you kill a retard? Give him a knife and say "who's special?"

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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Why did the man spill his coffee on his daughter? Because he is dying from Mad Cow disease so his hand experienced a traumatic spasm.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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