mikey is cute

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whats white and smells like black paint? nothing, white paint even though it is still paint has a slightly different smell due to the difference in dye colors used to make it

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What's pink and fluffy? PINK FLUFF! What's blue and fluffy? BLUE FLUFF HOLDING ITS BREATH!

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How heavy duty are your nachos? No, because babies simply cannot swallow blenders.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms.

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What happens when a girl falls? Another girl pees her pants

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When life gives you gators, make Gatorade.

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What's big, grey and can't climb a tree? A parking lot

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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What did the blind, deaf and dumb kid get for his birthday? Broken arms and legs

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Why are there no casinos in Africa? Because of the exceptionally high poverty rate.

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Knock knock. *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

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What do you call a black hitch hiker: stranded

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how do you keep a blonde busy for 7 to 8 hours. you give her m&m's and tell her to spell a word.

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There are two cows in a field. One cow says to the other - 'Are you afraid of the mad cow disease?' The other cow says - 'No, cuz I'm a duck.'

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Jim came home from work. only to find out his family had been murdered

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What's worse than finding a baby in a dumpster? Being late on your taxes

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What do you get if you put 2 Korea, 2 Europeans and 2 North Americans together? TSM

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why didn't bob die? because he liked his hair just the way it was.

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What did the badger say to the mushroom? BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER MUSHROOM MUSHROOM! BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER ARGH SNAKE! IT'S A SNAKE...

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I want to get you pregnant.

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Human: "Panda get off that slide! Your a panda, you don't understand gravity!" Panda: g=9.81 m/s squared. Human: Oh, I see, carry on.

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How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb? None they're dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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