I hate Mondays, the man said as he drove to work. Fortunately for him, it was a Wednesday.

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The French guy and the Italian guy got in the bar at the same time, but they didn't talk as they didn't know each other.

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Q. What happened first The Tree or The Apple. A. Johny Appleseed.

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penispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenis

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did you hear the joke about the lobster and the clownfish? no.. oh.

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Daniel Textor can suck a gooch he's such a F - A - GGGGG!! Let's beat him up at lunch.

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Why did the black man buy a gun?? He enjoys hunting legally

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Who livs in a pineaple under the sea? Lots of mold and bacteria

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how do you kill a bird? tie it to a tree throw a wasp nest at it and run the tree over with a semi filled with manure

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One day a married couple have a conversation. The husband says, "Make me a sandwich." The wife says, "Okay, what do you want on it?"

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Roes are red Violets are blue I felt silly for writing this Because violets are violet.

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What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory? Quality control or some other function.

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Two girls are sitting quietly.

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What do you call a horse with two legs? A kangaroo

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There once was a man from Peru. Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. Then he woke with a fright In the middle of the night And thought about what a strange dream he was having.

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A minor, her mom, her aunt and a marine went out drinking...they had a fun night

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Why did the little girl keep running into things Because she was blind

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A serial killer kills a family of 5 He is never found and eventually kills himself from depression

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Obama is a good president, I beg to differ.

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knock knock, whos there? billy i dont know who you are, please get away from my front door before i call the authorities

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What did the mentaly handycap kid get for christmas. A Bop-It

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Little Johnny is sleeping overnight at a school camping trip. The teacher goes around to check tents to make sure everybody is falling asleep fine. Little Johnny, however, says, "Miss, I am scared of the dark. Can I sleep in your tent instead?" The teacher reluctantly agrees, finishes checking around and brings Little Johnny to her tent. "Miss, can I play with your belly button with my finger? My mommy lets me", asks little Johnny. The teacher reluctantly agrees. Suddenly, the teacher jumps up. "THAT WASN'T MY BELLY BUTTON!", she shouts. "Yeah," says Little Johnny. "Well that wasn't my finger, either."

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What do you call a dinosaur with no teeth? He's British

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Come on children, don't dawdle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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