A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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Why couldn't the boy turn around in the hallway? Becasue he had a javelin through his head

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Male orgasm (haha bitches we've been faking it)

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what did the blind, deaf, paraplegic child get for christmas? other than cancer, nothing.

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Dad: "When I was your age, I had to walk outside to catch the school bus. If it snowed heavily the night before, school was canceled."

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Why can't a Tyrannosaurus-Rex clap? It's Dead.

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There once was a man from Peru, Whose limericks all stopped on line two.

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How do you stop a group of black guys from fighting? go over to them and ask them politely to stop.

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What did the boyfriend give his girlfriend for her birthday? A S.T.D

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Thats the magic of Moral Man, I do not make people my bitches, they curl up and do it all for me. Moral: HEEEEEY BITCHEEEEEES! WAZZAAAAP!

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How many Lepers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? People with leprosy should not be doing general house keeping.

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who has no willy? robbie kearns

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You know what happens when you assume? You base a conclusion on insufficient information.

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Q:Whats worse than a worm in apple? A:The Holocaust. Q: What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? A: Were both lawyers! :D Q: What happens when you throw a purple rock in to a green river? A: It splashes

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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An elephant walks in to a dry cleaners and asks the Chinese man behind the counter for the price of cleaning two shirts. The man replies, "$3.00."

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No, luke. I am your father. damnit

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What happened to the lady? She queefed.

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What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

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How do u know a black woman is pregnant? When she pulls out a tampon it has no cotton on it.

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A dog walks into a bar. It was a bar in Taiwan, so they killed it and ate it.

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How do you get children to behave? Chop them up.

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what did the aboriginal kid get for christmas? your bike.

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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