Knock Knock. Whose there? Bond. Bond who? James Bond. na-na NA NA na-na na

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How did Helen Keller's parents discipline her? Hopefully not too sternly. There's not much trouble a blind and deaf girl can get into, one would imagine.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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What's the difference between Barney the dinosaur and Santa? Barney Loves you.

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I milked the cow, but no gas came out.

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big fat hairy gigantic enourmous erectionn CC

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What starts with C and ends with UNT. Ciretrunt

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What happens when an alien touches fire? It gets burnt

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Mr Jones, we're sending you to a mental health clinic

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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What did the west African get for his birthday? Ebola

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if u like this i wont pay you a dollar

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Three men walk into a bar. Neither of them saw it coming

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone!

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What is similar to an orange?? A tangerine.

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what hurts more than a stab wound? two stab wounds

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why is six afraid of seven? because seven is black

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How do you know what time it is in the dark? Turn on the light and look at the clock.

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National security?

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Did you hear about the blind carpenter who picked up his hammer and saw? Did you hear about the deaf shepherd who gathered his flock and heard (herd)? If you don't understand these, use your dictionary and look up the words "blind," "deaf," "saw," "heard" and "herd." http://gpsphone-tracker.com/

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Q:Which side of a chicken has more feathers? A:The outside.

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What does a hooker eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner? Food.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because after death the body loses control of muscles and the monkey could no longer grasp the branch with his tail

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A grasshopper goes into a bar It is stepped on and crushed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops