Why couldn't Michael ask out Mary? Because Mary had been dead for dead for 10 years.

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Q.whats the differecne between a bicycle? A. orange,...a vest dont got no sleeves.

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Everyone knows a sandwich made with bacon, lettuce, and tomato is a BLT, but what do you call a sandwich made with tomato, bacon, and lettuce? A BLT.

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My wife has terminal cancer.

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Why did the family at dinner not tip the waiter? He was mean and spat in their food.

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A guy is playing cod

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I can't think of a joke!

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What's the difference between an orange? Two typewriters, because vests don't have sleeves.

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KNOCK KNOCK. who's there? Isdar Isdar who? Isdark in here.

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I literally died laughing

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How many days can a pelican whisper? Pelicans can't whisper.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens can not talk, therefore we can never find out from the chicken, who is the only thing that knows why it crossed the road. Scientists have study chickens and say that it most likely saw something edible, like a bug or some grain and walked over to eat it.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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What do you call a retarded man? Nothing, because it's inappropriate to call retarded people names.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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why did dicks dicks the dicks dicks? because you're gay and dicks

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Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? Well, she did.

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Many men trespass on my property to taste my milk based beverages. They insist that it's quality is superior to yours. I could teach you how to make such milk based beverages, but I would have to levy a fee.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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A shark walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face. The shark replies i dont have cancer just a terrible drinking problem.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? Everything.

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Why did the leaf fall of the tree? Because it was fall

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Hi.

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If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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