What did jimmy get for dinner? Food

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How do you greet your great great grandmother born in 1738? Hey, what's up, hello.

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patient: Doctor, It hurts when I go like this. doctor: Don't do that.

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A Mexican man, an American man, and an Italian man go to a bridge. The mexican said "we have too much of this in our country!" and throws pasta into the water. The Mexican man says "we have to much of this in out country!" and throws a taco into the water. The American throws in the Mexican man and says "we have to much of these in our country!"

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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How do you get an annoying baby to shut up? Hit it with a bat

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How do you make a tissue dance? Tissues are inanimate objects, they cannot dance and thinking otherwise is foolish.

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why did i come to this site i was doing a school easy about the anti-apartheid movement

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Knock knock Who's there Santa who santa hates you and that is why you got nothing for Christmastime

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How did the guy survive the plane crash? He didnt, He died like everybody else.

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Hi.

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Whats the difference between Megan Fox and a dead baby? Megan Fox is alive

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Why did Bill yell? Because he stepped on a nail.

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Touch it gently, put two fingers inside, if it's wide use three fingers, make sure it's wet and rub up and down. Yep that's how you wash a cup.

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knock knock ... no one was in

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What did the man say to the teacup? Nothing. He was drunk and on the floor.

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Why are elephants big, grey, and wrinkled? Because if they were small, white, and round they'd be called aspirin.

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What did the child get from there parent on Christmas? Nothing. He's an orphan.

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what do you call a 2-foot blue scottishman named max? max

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Your mom is so poor; she doesn't have a job.

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In a tangential universe Crispin Glover is the head of scientology

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Boy: Your father must be an alien, because there’s nothing else like you on earth! Girl: *whispering* please don't tell anyone we are trying not to be noticed...

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your momma is so old, she has heart problems

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Gerald: Hey did you know I was named AFTER Abraham Lincoln? Gloria: Because he was born in the 1800's and you were born and named many years afterward? Gerald: Ah... I guess I emphasized that joke a little to much - I'm sorry this conversation happened

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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