what did one apple say to another apple nothing apples cant talk

thumb_up thumb_down -23

what's longer than my shlong? .... nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -14

This is a sentence. This is also a senctence.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a blue bucket? A blue bucket. What do you call a red bucket? A blue bucket in disguise.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: Why do Japanese people have eyes that look like they're stretched to the side of their head? A: When they are born, they come out head first, and their eyes are stretched to the side of their head and are stuck in that position due to the sticky, glue like substance found inside a woman's stomach.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what do you call a mexican baptism? a bean dip

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke her face

thumb_up thumb_down -22

There was a cat, an astronaut and a nun. The cat was sleeping, the astronaut was floating, and the nun was praying. There was a singer, a dancer and an actor. The singer was singing, the dancer was dancing, and the actor was acting.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the boy say when be landed in the bottom of the well, nothing he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a black man and an Asian at a school? Two hard-working, dedicated teachers.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock-knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. I'm calling the police.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What happened when they asked Steve if he was feeling blue? He confessed and went to prison for a long time for molesting that poor dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's funny about being adopted? Your parents never loved you

thumb_up thumb_down -1

When did the War of 1812 begin? 1963.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Why did the dead baby cross the road? It didn't because it had died from an uncaring mother and father that dumped it's corps on the side of the highway.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

a black guy with a parrot on his shoulder was walking down the street. another man asked, "where did you get him?" The parrot said, "theres tons of them in africa."

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you say to a friend when they're feeling down? The Game

thumb_up thumb_down -29

If Steve has 5 apples and gives Jenny 2, it is obvious they aren't eating oranges.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Knock knock. Who's there? Gestapo. Gestapo who? Your husband is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

-What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew -The pizza doesn't experience many years of hardship and social belittlement at the hands of a dictator in need of a scapegoat to support radical ideas.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's silver and bad for your teeth? A wrench

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's the best part of having sex with a twelve year old? Watching them cry when they prosecute against you.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

If Bob has 65 sweets and he eats 57 how many does he have? Bob has diabetes. He has high blood sugar, either because the body does not produce enough insulin, or because cells do not respond to the insulin that is produced.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the cow get for Christmas? A tree

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops