What haircut did Timmy get at the barbershop? He didn't, he saved money from the barber by going through chemo.

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A boy grows up loving tractors. For birthday and Christmas each year he got a tractor toy of some kind, until the age of 17, when he finally gave up tractors and got himself a CD player. One day, listening to all the latest tunes with some headphones, he looks outside to see his neighbour's house on fire. He goes outside to find firemen trying to put out the blaze. He jumps into the blazing house and inhales as much as he can, which astonishingly puts out the blaze. A fireman confusing asked "How did you do that?" The boy replies, " I'm an ex-tractor fan."

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Q: what did the deaf boy get for christmas? A: an ipod shuffle

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why do woman love the twilight books? i have no idea woman can't read

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What do you call a baby impaled on a stick? Lunch.

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What do you call two lesbians in a canoe? Women.

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b

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What's similar between a flamingo and a rhino? They're both pink...except the rhino

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What did one duck say to the other? Well, it said "Quack" but it's not certain if it was actually addressing the other duck or if it was just making a noise in response to some other stimulus.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Actually it couldn't even walk because of all the hormones they injected into it in order to genetically enhance it's size and flavor.

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What do you call a puppy with all it's legs missing? Franklin, the quadraplegic puppy.

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What do you get when you sunflower? Vegan turtles.

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What's worse than having AIDS? A piano falling on your left middle finger.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesnt scream when you put it in the oven!

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What do you call someone who kills their own children? Casey Anthony

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Why did little Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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hard cheese

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What the difference between a rabbit an a eagle? They both fly except for the rabbit

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Why did the little girl selling lemon aid die? Someone drove by and threw a fridge at her

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? He graduated at the top of his class with a master's degree in engineering.

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What is white, wet, sticky, and gets squished out? Glue obviously, wait.... What were you thinking of?

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Why did the white man cross the road? To pay his taxes.

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Hey, did you see that episode of Glee last night? It was awesome! Especially that scene where they all sang. It wasn't as good as the previous ones, but I think the show it making a comeback.

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Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other: "Hey are you worried about this Mad Cow Disease?? the other cow says "Nah, not at all mate...!" "Why Not?" says the cow "Because I'm a CHICKEN!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops