three mexicans walk into a bar... the bartender says get the fuck out!

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Well no, thats not true, sorry, I mean I GET THAT ALL THE FUCKING TIME!

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There were three men walking across the road and it started to rain

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This is my joke. funny

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What is blue and invisible? Invisible blue paint

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? a pizza does not have a heart

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010010101210001010 You dirty girl

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What did the Chinese guy say to the black guy? Nothing, the black guy dosen't speak chinese.

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What do you call someone who sits on anti joke every day? Luke Skywalker

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What did the korean say to the other korean. I don't know i dont speak korean.

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What goes good with coca cola? Thirst

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Wanna hear a clean joke? A little boy took a bath with Bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is the name of the man.

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So, a black guy walked into a bar. "Ouch," he said.

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Why did little Lynn fall of her bike? Because she has no legs.

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A man was building a new kitchen for his wife. Just as he was installing the sink, his wife comes running into the kitchen and starts cursing. "What's the matter?" he asks. "Don't you like the new sink?" His wife replies, "I love it. But come quick, there's a spider in the living room!" The man walks over with a paper towel, grabs the spider, and throws it into the garbage. The wife looks at the husband, smiling, and says, "Thanks."

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An anti-Semite, a Jew and an American walked into the bar. The barman said: "Hi, Sara".

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Snapple fact #572: You're a terrible person.

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How do you get 100 midgets into a mini? You have to manufacture a mini big enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It won't be street legal, but at least your problem with fitting the midgets in the mini is solved.

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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Your city streets are so bumpy that cars get flat tires when going to the gas station.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was disturbed by two black men raping a young girl with leukemia.

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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I know where you live. No seriously im looking at you through your window. 80% of you just checked. 90% of you didnt realize i just ended that statement with a question mark. 100% of you just checked gotcha

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What do accountants do when they're constipated? Take a laxative and eat plenty of fiber.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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