One Big Ass Mistake America

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What's the difference between a black man and a bicycle? ( I don't know. ) You're so racist.

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I Won a Math Debate................ say it fast unless your blind then dont say it wait you cant read it so uhhm Alaska

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Whats Red and smells like Blue Paint? Red Paint.

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Why couldn't the cow move? It had Cystic Fibrosis.

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Why did the chicken cross the street? He wanted to make breakfast

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Knock Knock? Come in.

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What do a porkchop and a watermelon have in common? They're both edible, organic, and delicious. Also, both are fun to throw at people.

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welcome to australia. *kangaroo kicks you in the gut and you keel over, whereupon you are stampeded by wild dingoes and eaten by tasmanian devils*

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What did Hitler say to his men before they got in the tanks? Get in the tanks

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Knock Knock! Whos there? Doctor! Doctor who? exactly.. how did you know?

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The seven dwarfs were in a sauna feeling happy. So Happy got up and left.

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I saw a "Baby on Board" bumper sticker on a car TARGET AQUIRED

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Q: Why didnt the irishman walk out of the bar? A: He died of severe alchoholism and had a heart attack and died istantly

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what is the differnce between my truck and chuck norris? i eat my own poop.

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The iPhone5. It's kinda Gay

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What did the hooker get for christmas? Herpes

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How do you murder a blonde? You drop a bull dozer on her filled with 2 bulls, 100 wasps and a rabbit squirrel.

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Things to do get an A on my test win my hockey game become immortal well that escalated quickly

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what do you call a bird that is gay bird a gaybird

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a pool? A: A man with no arms or legs in a pool.

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Two men walk into a bar. The third seeing the protruding bar goes home to find his entire family dead from anthrax.

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Q) What did the Irishman get for his birthday? A) Drunk

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Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship. One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Captain was calm. He bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" The First Mate quickly got the Captain's red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle against the mean pirates. Although there were some casualties among the crew, the pirates were defeated. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending two boarding parties towards their ship. The crew was nervous, but the Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was on! The Captain and his crew fought off the boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred. Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked at the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?" The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, explained, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the blood, so you men will continue to fight unafraid." The men sat in silence. They were amazed at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, 'Bring me my white flag!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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