What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? Nothing, fishes don't speak, and due to their short memory he's probably forgotten about the event already, although he may have a pretty bad headache

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Knock knock Who's there? Dave, I've got a fucking gun. Let me the fuck in.

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What do you do when you see a person sleeping at a bus stop? You fart on their head

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy launched a flare. Nobody came.

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My did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Knock, Knock Who's there It's me open up the D#### door it's me open up the D#### door, who? just open the door this is not a fricken knock knock joke.

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Q. Whats long and and can drip out fluids? a tap.

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Why did Michael Vick run? Because he was being chased by defenders.

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Q: What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? A: A pilot, you racist.

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Nick Demarco got butt due to the high number of females in his apartment

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What has two legs, but can't walk? Half a dog.

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What is the difference between you and a brick? A brick gets laid.

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What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? an email from PETA

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Your momma's so fat she has fat rolls on her stomach.

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What did the black man say to the asian man? hello.

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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Where did Lil' Suzie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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A: Ask me if I'm a tree! B: Okay, are you a tree? A: No, no I am not.

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Why did Henry fall down the stairs? Nobody knows, nobody cares. Poor Henry.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing set? She has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Q: Why did the Little girl fall off the swing set? A: She was Shot in the face.

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whats brown and sticky a stick

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Womens rights

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what did the american say to the other american? get out of the way i gotta go to mcdonalds!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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