What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my d i c k in your a s s.

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If your dying how would you avoid getting eaten alive by sharks or rip to shreds by a T-Rex? Fall on a sword

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapeled to the chicken

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yo Dawg I heard you like dogs... So I sent yo ass to prison and got an NFL contract

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Q: What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep? A: A genetic aberration that is an insult to both God and man.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Q: What do you call an anti-joke? A: An anti-joke

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How many pancakes does it take to fill up a doghouse? None, because ice cream doesn't have bones.

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Whats gay and has wheels? Alex Egbert, I lied about the wheels

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A priest, a minister, and a rabbi all walk into a bar. They all say ouch and then continue walking. Although the minister did hit it at a higher speed and ended up with a black eye.

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News of the day - David gives back 2 pounds to someone. The police, as he stole from a old nana to pay for a toothbrush

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what's faster than a snail? Usain Bolt

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What do you call the Doctor who graduated at the bottom of his class? Doctor.

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Who didnt visit the orphanage this year? Mom...

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What's worse than AIDS? Not getting your sandwich.

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? To get into the USA for a better lifestyle.

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http://media.photobucket.com/image/whale%20penis/marcus1v0/whale_penis2.jpg

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peter charastabopouloulous

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Q: Why were there four married men in one room without their pants on? A: because it was the mens bathroom.

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If you rape a prostitute is it shop lifting?

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Find the b dddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. They are baked until ready and then enjoyed be the person who made them.

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A cow walks into a store. The clerk asks "how may i help you sir?" The cow says "Im a cow stupid!" and storms out.

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How do you make a 6-year-old cry again? Tell him that without further change to the system, he'll end up paying $100,000 for school and then not have a job when he graduates.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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