Hello, I'm Mark and I have multiple-personality disorder. Don't listen to him, no he doesn't.

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Why was Allen late for work? He was mauled by a bear. Allen is dead.

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Whats worse than cutting yourself with scissors? Being forced into a blender by your baby's ghost.

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Why are you reading this joke? There is this nice 'Bad Idea T-Shirts' ad right there.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nobel Nobel who? There was no bell, that's why I'm knocking you idiot

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What do you call a mexican with a driveable lawnmower? Rather wealthy.. He must have a secure job to pay for a home with a lawn, and a lawnmower.

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What did the black guy do to his neighbor's car while he was away? Wash it for a for as a favor.

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a beer, then suddenly dies of a heart attack.

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Why couldn't the little boy see anything? It was dark outside.

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whats silver and cries? a coin, although it can't cry because its a coin. So it's just silver

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Names.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs falling skydiving? Jon, because that's his name.

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Q: How do you make a black man think you're racist? A: Racism

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Why couldn't the boy sing? The boy could sing, but the thick layer of duct tape prevented him from doing so.

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What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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What's cheese that's not yours? Mine.

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A guy watches a porno. When it is over, he said; "Wow, that was deep"

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Knock, knock -The door's open.

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whats yellow and cant swim? a bulldozer

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this isn't an anti joke but you guys remember teletubbies?

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Two blondes are sitting in a car. They took a drive and later enjoyed turkey sandwiches at the local eatery.

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Why did I have sex with your mom? Because she was a beautiful individual with a fine taste in the classical arts. She also offered me a ride to her place for a delicious 3 course meal. Afterwards our romance blossomed and we decided to have sexual intercourse to show our mutual appreciation for each other.

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That awkward moment when Amish mingle has a member

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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