Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because there were no cars coming

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i used to take arrows to the knee,til i took one to the balls.

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what did one worm say to the other worm? nothing. worms are incapable of speaking.

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What does the young boy say to the gay man Hello Jacob, because he was raised to respect and treat gays equally

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What looks like a lion, sounds like a lion, and feels like a lion? A lion Ba dum chh

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Knock Knock! Who's there? John.

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Barack Obama, Mother Teresa and Stephen Hawkings had race. Who won? Barack Obama. This deduction can be made as Stephen Hawking is severely disabled by a motor neurone disease known as amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Henceforth, he has very limited control over the majority of his body and is confined to a electric wheel chair. Thus, he could not participate competitively in the race. Moreover, Mother Teresa is dead. This unfortunate occurrence was caused by several myocardial infarctions in combination with pneumonia. Regardless of this, Mother Teresa's meek and frail build would slower her speed considerably; in comparison to Barack Obama's relatively athletic and robust frame. Nonetheless, President Obama is a smoker. Therefore, he may experience symptoms associated with emphysema during the race, causing him to retire. As such no-one would finish the race, leaving the spectators feeling very disappointed and empty.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimers, Bus....

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Why did the chicken cross the road? How the hell should I know? I'm not a chicken :/

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What's worse than 20 babies stapled to one tree? Getting life imprisonment after...

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How did the man get arested? For doing something leagle.

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What falls down but never gets hurt? A professional stuntman wearing protective gear.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens don't have the cognitive capacity to reason. So you'd never know

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What did John name his dog? Doggy

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Why did the black guy cross the road? Because he needed to get to the store across the street.

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Have you seen Hellen Keller's treehouse? No. It's quite nice, her father made it himself.

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Why are there clocks on stoves? Because it is a convenient way to tell the time.

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Why is a cat in the desert like Christmas? Because Egypt is a country of deserts, the Egyptians had cats and Jesus, Mary and Joseph escaped to Egypt in the Christmas story before Herod carried out his massacre in Bethlehem on baby boys of under two years old.

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Q - What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a trampoline? A - I take my shoes off when I jump on a trampoline.

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A gay jew walked into a bar. Just kidding, for there was only a red blanket.

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What did one homo-sexual say to his four homo-sexual friends? Were One Direction!!

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms... Why couldn't sally get up? She had no legs Why did no one help sally? Because she has no friends.

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A man walks into a Library.... And asks for a book.

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's a woman.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops