What do you give a black man for his Christmas? A gift that you feel would suit his personality so that he may draw enjoyment from said gift.

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Why was the boy hit by a bus? Because the driver is a homicidal sociopath.

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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What do you get when you cross a polar bear and a vampire? A Vampire Polar Bear.

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what do you call cheese that isn't yours? not your cheese, you probably stole it.

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koj yog ib tug tsoob qaib eater, uas nyiam mus rau Peer li qub poj niam qhov chaw mos raws li ib tug nyiam ua! (Google Translate may help)

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A man died.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Some poems have endings

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What's better than winning $5000 a week for life?! Winning any larger sum of money a week for life, and sex.

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Yo mama is so fat, she just had a heart-attack.

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What do you call girls that can run faster than me? Virgins

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Who are you?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Boom! Splat! You'll never know.

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A black man walks up to a jewish man in a bar. They engage into a nice conversation, seeing how they were friends back in college.

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Why did a little kid have a long face Because his face was stretched out by a truck wheel

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Will you marry me? No, I'm cake.

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Why did the beautiful woman marry the ugly poor old man? She was blonde & was therefor not aware that he wasn't rich nor younge.

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Darude - Sandstorm

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How can you tell you're in a childrens' ambulance from the inside? From the clown patterned body bags.

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How do you get a baby out of a blender? Tortilla Chips

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A mama cow was sitting in the barn with her 3 babies. The first baby cow goes "Mom, why did you name me Daisy?" "Because a Daisy landed on your head when you were born" The second calf goes "Mom, why did you name me Rose?" "Because a Rose petal landed on your head when you where born." The third calf says "Aasdfghoiuytfghjkuiy" The mom replies "Shut up brick"

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GOODBYE

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There was a curtain who sneezed and then asked you for a tissue. He was in a room with two chairs a coffee table and a 37 year old bookcase, why did he sneeze???? Because he had a cold!!????

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If a quiz is a quizzical what is a test? A testicle

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops