EGGPLANT

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Why are AntiJokes so funny? Because your brain analyses them and makes you laugh.

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Freddie Mercury died of AIDS. Many consider him a musical hero.

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Why did the man get thrown out of the cinema? The man began to masturbate. He was also blind.

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two men are having a conversation a third man walks what does he do? patiently waits as to not seem rude.

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How do you get Pikachu on a bus? Through forceful action.

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Yo Momma's so fat......... that she should probably start eating healthy and exercising more regularly or else she may be at risk of developing heart disease or diabetes

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Q:What the worst lie you have ever told??!!???!?!?!?!? A: I have read and agree to the Terms and Service

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Why did the quick brown fox jump in the lake? He did not see lake on the other side of the lazy dog.

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A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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jack shine and keiran = nate robinson

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PENIS

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Where's the best place to gather black people to roleplay as prison victims for a documentary? Prison or the Graveyard.

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If you are floating down main street in a canoe and your front right propeller falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a doghouse? None, because ice cream doesn't have bones

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Which is the rarest animal in the North pole? The Polaroid.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Person 1: 'Ask me if I'm a tree' Person 2: 'Are you a tree?' Person 1: 'No.'

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A little boy went to a sleep over . They watched a episode of pokemon and the flashing lights triggered the boys epilepsy he was driven to hospital and is recovered.

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A man loses his wife in a car accident He then fall into a deep depression then hangs himself.

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A 65 year old man is tired with his life. He begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. He wants no part in the world anymore so he decided to commit suicide. On his way to commit suicide, he comes across a magical man that has an extraordinary offer. This magical man has offered to grant the 65 year old man the power to fly. The 65 year old man, accepts the offer in great interest, but the magical man wants something in return for his deed. The 65 year old man, offers all the money in his wallet to the magical man. The magical man accepts his offer of all the money and continues. With a flick of the wrist, the magical man says, "fly, fly, high as the sky, i grant this man the ability to fly". The 65 year old man is greatly excited now that he has the ability to fly. He cant wait to try out his new power. He runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. Too bad the "magical man" was really a male prostitute that was broke and homeless. The 65 year old man died on impact and the male prostitue walked away with a wallet full of cash.

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Why was the woman out of the kitchen? She was at her mothers funeral.

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Why are Asians so smart? Because they study

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What did the pedophile say to the little girl? "I have a condition and I think it would be healthy for both of us if you stayed within the supervision of your parents"

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Why wasn't the bat nocturnal? It was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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