What happens when your scared half to death...twice!!? Nothing, being scared half to death is an expression, you should not be fearing for your life.

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How many tickles can you give an octopus? Ten tickles

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knock knock whos there? your neighbor, dude im sorry but i swear i didnt see your kid on my drive way.

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? alot of things, worms don't taste that bad.

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Horse tits

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What did the us reporter say? nothing as his head was in a isis members bin

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because he had legs.

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What starts with f and end in uck Firetruck

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Turkeys are obese

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I saw GESUS and SHE's BLACK

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A Muslim boards a plane with his three sons. Everything goes well, because most on the plane are racially tolerant.

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What's red, hairy, and squishy? Helen Keller in a blender.

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a chinese man pays the full price

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woman's rights

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Fat people

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Why was the boy crying? he was so happy his mom bought him a playstation 3

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1: I heard a great knock knock joke, but you have to start it. 2: Okay, knock knock! 1: Who's there? 2: ???

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u smell oh no of wat?? dunno i just know its BADDDDDDD !!!!!! k.c

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knock knock whos there? yo mama yo mama who? yo mamas mama!!

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:)Knock, Knock :(Who's there? :)Barbie :(Barbie who? :)Barbieq

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yo momma so fat that she needs to lose weight

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A man walk into a bar he buys a few drinks. When he is done the bar tender gives him his check. Man told the bar tender he has no money to pay for it. Bartender says," ok how about this we have a horse in the back that hasn't laughed a day in his life if you can make him laugh you get the drinks for free." so man proceeds to do so. A few minutes later man comes out horse is dying. So the man gets his drink for free. A few days later man comes back with the same deal. So the bartender tells him" that horse hasn't stopped laughing since you went back there. If you can make him stop you get your drinks for free." Man goes in a few minutes later comes out horse is crying. Man man is remarked by how he did it but he doesn't question it. A few days past the man comes back an the horse is still crying...... So the bartender ask the man how he did..... Man says," first I told him I had a bigger dick then him....second time I proved it"

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human centipede

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I got Alzheimer's! ...... Who the hell are you?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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