What is blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint!

Roses are Black, Violets are Black, I am Ray Charles

Here is an opposite. Black Santa Claus.

why was the man a redneck? because he got sunburned at the nascar race.

what do you call a room full of one terrorist and several babies? dead babies

Will my son live, doctor? No because you don't have a son and I am not a doctor

How do you get a clown to stop smiling? Throw a brick at him.

Whats a difference between an eagle and a tree? They both can fly. Oh yeah, I Iied about the tree.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't

How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? I dont know lets go play on our bikes.

Roses are Red Violets are Purple But nothing rhymes with purple.

Why doesn't Jonathan Walk across the road? Because he is in a wheelchair...

knock knock zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz knock knock zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz knock kock ding dong ding di-ding dong zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz sigh weeeeeeeeeewooooooooooooooooo zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz hey yo wake up zzz-oh-huh-what-whos there i've been yelling for like five minutes oh sorry jim will you let me in already all right

Want to here a joke? The First Amendment.

A jew walks into a bar.... He has a beer and then goes home to his family.

Enchilada

An Irishman, a homosexual and a Jew walk into a bar. Paddy's really exploring his options lately.

What dud the baseball player do when he struck out? Walked back to the bench

What did the little girl who's parents died in a car accident get you her birthday? Foster Parents

Why do you not play poker with a cheetah. 1. Animals can't play card games. 2. Cheetahs are carnivores. Think about it.

Knock Knock Who's there? Eric, your old high school pal! Eric, you slept with my wife 3 years ago. You have her, please stop coming to my door and please stop saying your my pal. Pals don't sleep with other guys' wives.

What's worse than having amnesia? I don't remember.

did you stub your toe?

What do you call a bunch of Cubans on a boat in the Gulf of Mexico? A guy who just so happens to own a boat and is on a fishing trip with his buddies. -Mitch Hastings

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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