Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? He was busy

thumb_up thumb_down +10

how do you get a 1 armed moron out of a tree? you wave

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, i was dropped on my head as a baby, 978e456293&*(^$%ZYI467z57967454^&4543^%$54#%^*44jffdGHFYI

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why didn't the blind girl say hi to anyone? Because she was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Before Marriage: Boy: Ah at last. I can hardly wait. Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: No don't even think about it. Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Of Course. Always have and always will. Girl: Have you ever cheated on me? Boy: Never. Why are you even asking? Girl: Will you kiss me? Boy: Every chance I get. Girl: Will you hit me? Boy: Hell no. Are you crazy? Girl: Can I trust you? Boy: Yes. Girl: Darling! After Marriage: (Read from bottom to top)

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Pencils are yellow, Grass is green OK

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why was the potatoe hot Cuz I cooked it

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Josh Moran sticks CD's up his dick to see how fun it is to give a boy anal.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

why is 6 afraid of 7 ? because 7 is black.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why do Eskimos build igloos? Because it is the most practical form of habitation for their climate zone, lifestyle, and availability of materials.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you get when you cross a cat with a log? I think the better question is why are you mixing those two things together?

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Two octopuses are swimming in the ocean. Suddenly a scuba diver spots one of the octopus. The octopus looks at the human and swims away.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the boy not wake up on time for school? He was fucking dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What happened to the guy that took to many lunesta pills? He fell asleep but he was glad it was the weekend or he would have been late for his job

thumb_up thumb_down -18

I Won a Math Debate................ say it fast unless your blind then dont say it wait you cant read it so uhhm Alaska

thumb_up thumb_down -4

how do you make a plumber cry? you hit him in the face

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A: Knock Knock B: (No Reply) Nobody is home and the man trying to get in will come back later and try again.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A man walks into a bar and says "ouch." It was an Iron bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q: What's funnier than a baby in a blender? A: A baby in a clownsuit in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

what do you call a dead man rolling down a hill on fire, being shot in the head, and strapped to a bomb Dead

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did sally fall off the swing? Because her grandfather hit her with a wrench.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Well, neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: which is easier to unload a truck of dead babies or a truck of alove babies? A: dead babies cause u can use a pitchfork

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops