I'm attracted to you like the earth is attracted to the sun. With a force that is inversely proportional to the distance squared.

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What is the difference between a bench and a mexican? the bench is an object

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse thus lacking cognitive capacity to speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and promptly shits on the floor then gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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How do you do to stop a baby who is circling? You nail his other feet.

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126

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What do you call a cat without a face ? - Kitty !

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What did the flower say to the flowerpot? Nice weather we're having

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how doyou wake up lady gaga youu poke er face

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Two guys walk into a bat, they have a couple drinks then go home, one crashed and died in a horrible drunk driving accident. The other, who took a cab, went home and viciously beat his wife.

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Sorry boss

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How do you make a baby float? Two scopes of Ice cream and two scopes of baby.....and the holocaust.

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What is green with wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Q: What do you call a dog with metal balls and two-inch legs? A: Animatronic

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When is a door not a door? Never.

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Q:why did the boy fall off the swing A:he had no arms Q:why couldn't he get up A:he had no legs Q:why did he die A:he fell in a puddle

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Why do white people drive big trucks? 'Cause they can afford it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because that's where the oncologist's office is.

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What's worse than losing your job? 9/11

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What does a black person use to chop a tree down? An Ask.

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What is worse than getting mud on your brand new t-shirt Getting stabbed.

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what is so funny about billy? nothing he is dead and if you laught at him you are the biggest jerk by: Brennan pickrell

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Who ya gonna call? ... Whoever you need to talk to at the current time.

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How do you make someone laugh? Tell them this joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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