A- Knock Knock B- Who's there? A- Soccer!

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Knock Knock Who's There? Peyton Peyton who? Peyton Manning

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Why did the man eat the cheese? because the man was a mouse

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How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

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During a boxing match, a white man faces an Asian. The Asian loses. Next the white man faces a Mexican. The Mexican also loses. Now the white man faces a black man. "Aw screw it!"

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dumpster full of dead babies? There isn't a Ferrari in my garage.

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay is irrelevant.

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A doctor is delivering a baby on April fool's day. He says, "Congradulations, it's a boy." He then says,"April fools! Your child was stillborn."

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Modern math questions: If I have 9 apples and you have 12 ice cubes, his many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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fava beans

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Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk.

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Always do, always will, I have overcome far worse, doctor told my mother when I was born (without a heartbeat) that I was dead, and if they somehow managed to get me breathing again (heart beating etc) I would have suffered so much brain damage that I would not have a concious mind, in other words I would never have been able to learn anything, not to speak nor to type... ...Gotta say I pretty much fucking disagree with the "good" old doctor, and for the record, my heart is as healthy as... Healthy can be I am ambidextrous, but because of this eyedrum mutant thing of mine, I cant tell left from right, because well, to my radar senses both are left and right. Sorry if I am not making much sense here, just bleed a bit out of my nose, had it been from my ears, things could have gotten ugly, but no, its all good.

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why did the women cross the road? she didnt, theres no road in the kitchen.

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Often, Asians argue that they can speak properly... Like instead of L's, they use "R's." Sure... http://eng.tekkenpedia.com/wiki/Leo#Introduction

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why did aodhan not play BO2? Aodhan has Cerebral palsy.

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Why did the black man die? He was shot

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Your mom is absolutely pefect. This makes me love HIM.

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What's similar between a black man and jelly babies? Nothing

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What did one bulbasaur say to one squirtle? Well, first off, pokemon are virtual animals created solely for the enjoyment of entertaining japanese children and causing seizure episodes. This fictional creation then migrated to an american tv market, still maintaining their superficial existence while continuing to promote slavery and the use of round balls that capture your problems and propagate winning through random ball throwing. They are fake, and as they are fake, the bulbasaur said "we are fake"

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Mcfly: Doc! i have to tell you about the future! Doc: Ok.

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Are you from Tennessee? Because you smell like crystall meth.

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What's worse than having a bad hair day? Vietnam.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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