Nice legs....What time do they open?

thumb_up thumb_down -116

Jimmy: Knock Knock Nick: Whose there? Jimmy: Joe Nick: Joe Who? Jimmy: Joe Mamma Nick: No shes dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Yo mamma is so ugly, but your father was willing to look past that. They fell in love and you were born about a year after they got married.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Did you hear about the speed reader on top of the Twin towers? 90 stories 5 seconds.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Why did the man push open the door? The sign said PUSH.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

why did the pile of rocks cross the road? they were stuffed down the chickens throat

thumb_up thumb_down +34

hahahanahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahanahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahanahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahanahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahanahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahaha hahahanahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahaha hahahanahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahaha hahahanahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahaha hahahanahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahaha hahahanahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahaha hahahanahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahaha hahahanahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahaha

thumb_up thumb_down -20

roses are red violets are blue i just made you remember two girls one cup

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was little Alice and her family at the graveyard? Well someone had to come at her funeral...

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What does a black kid get from Christmas? a blunt

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Knock Knock. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. ANYBODY HOME?

thumb_up thumb_down -49

So a man enters a local paper's pun contest. He enters ten puns in hopes that one of them would win. But unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why was John sad? His parents were murdered.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

what does idk mean? i dont know!! nobody knows!!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walks in a bar. He walks out.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's black, then white, then dead all over? Michael Jackson

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are red Violets are blue I am schizophrenic ...and so am I

thumb_up thumb_down -5

call of duty is how they say it, calla duty is how we say it...

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing, penguins haven't evolved a complex form of language.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Two guys walk into a bar. This is really exciting as they haven't seen each other for two years and are looking forward to catching up.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's fat and round and has a ballsack nose? Mr Chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why does Mario wear coveralls? Because it makes practical sense for his full time job as a plumber.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance cocvered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being deined coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be covered." The man snaps his fingers and says "Damn! I should've voted Democrat!"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops