I went to the zoo yesterday. There was only one dog, it was a shitzu

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An insane individual walks into a bank and asks for $500. The teller refuses since he doesn't have an account, so the individual pulls out a gun and asks the teller again. The teller presses the silent panic button, causing the cops to show up and arrest the gunman, but not before he manages to shoot the teller and the small child standing next two counters over.

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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If you could eliminate one thing in your life, what would it be ? My ex.

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Yo mama has had so many kidney stones she has to be on a water diet.

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A homeless man begged and begged for a dollar to buy something. A man finally gave him his dollar. What did the hobo buy? Nothing he walked into 711 and then got shot.

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Want to hear a joke? Me neither.

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Truth is Jordan Abu aita has a hairy @ss

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a dyslexic made a dessert. it was a bit dry.

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God has put a gate keeper at a gate in heaven to listen to how everyone has died. The first guy comes and says, "I thought my wife was cheating on me so when i came home I see this man hanging off my balcony, I thought he was the man cheating with my wife, so I then push him off, but he was still alive, so I threw a refrigerator onto him, that killed him, but I felt so guilty I soon commited suicide" The gates man said, "Wow thats terrible come in." Then the next guy come and he says how he died, "Well you see I was just oiling myself up for my workout, but I slipped, and fell off my 5th story balcony, and landed in some guys 3rd floor balcony I was hanging off the ledge, and a guy came I thought he was going to help me, but instead he pushed me of and threw a refrigerator on me." The guard let him in, and a third guy came. The Guard said,"Man its going to be hard to beat those guys their just sad. Ok how did you die?" The third man said, "Picture this I'm trapped in a refrigerator...

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Roses are red, My name is Dan, I have a gun, get in the van

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A pogo stick. Just kidding. Cancer.

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your mommas so fat she jumped for joy and got stuck

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How do gay guys have sex with women?? They dont, they are gay.

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what's more interesting than capital gains tax? (there's no answer)

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joe galasso from plainview ny

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? I shot him in the face.

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What did one Chinese man say to the other? ?????

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Why did the cops beat up rodney king? Resisting arrest.

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How do you drown a blond? Keep her head underwater until her lungs fill with water and her bodily functions stop working.

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What's the difference between dead babies and punching bag? No one makes jokes about punching bags.

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what is long black and smelly the welfare line

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Jeremy has 8 apples. Susie has 3. how much does Jason have? Purple because aliens don't like grapes.

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What is purple after you stroke it a lot? An eggplant

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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