Last words of a redneck - "Hold my beer and watch this"

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There are two muffins in an oven. Since they are inanimate objects, they do nothing but sit there and bake until they are a golden brown color, at which point a man takes them out of the oven and eats them for breakfast.

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A priest, a monk, and a rabbi walk into a bar. They order drinks and keep the conversation to non-controversial topics.

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Your mama's so fat, she can't even find clothes that fit her well.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? ...

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? You don't have to cook an onion to eat it.

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"My father walked out on me." "Oh that's strange because I saw him yesterday and he had no legs."

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Why didn't andrea clean the dishes? She had no hands

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What do you call a Jew with 20 Pounds of Pennies? A rich man

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a boy walks into the doctors office."my knees hurt...i poked it like this"the doctor says "listen kid...u are a really good kid but u didnt really injure your knee and im sick of you!!"

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Two men are making sandwiches, one man is spreading peanut butter over the bread and the other man is spreading honey and Italian raspberry jam over rye bread. the man with the peanut butter sandwich looks over and says "HEY, where did you get the rye bread?" and the man with the rye bread says "well my wife made it yesterday and I would be delighted if you come over for some tea, and tried some of my wife's homemade rye bread".

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Why did the man have 3 girlfriends? A: because he is a womanizer

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Yo momma so fat she saw a yellow bus full of white kids and said, "STOP THAT TWINKIE!!"

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How do you circumsize a redneck? Kick his sister in the jaw.

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Why is Michael J. Fox unable to build domino chains? He only has one domino.

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Knock, knock. Come in.

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whats the difference between a pizza and a jew? Pizza is not human, Jewish people are.

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Where did Sally go when she exploded? Everywhere!

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Where do cows go in their free time? burger king.

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, Stop shitting in my garden

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Hey you want to hear a joke? Oh well. Goodbye

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How does it change many dyslexics take to a lightbulb.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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The baby started screaming in the dead of night. It woke up his mother, but his father did not be woken by it. why? Because the father left the mother some time ago, and emigrated to Australia with a new girlfriend, who is incidentially a model, and therefore he could not have heard hs child scream whilst on the other side of the world. His new girlfriend dosen't like him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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