Twisty Snake bite: Doctors office. Patient: Err Doc, a snake bit me in the err, private area... Doctor: I must suck out the poison immediately! Patient: What? Man! Are you sick? How do I even know if the snake was poisonous? Besides they only do that crap in bad jokes! Doctor: Yeah but this is an anti joke so drop em! Later at home: Wife: So did the Doctor help you dear? Patient: Worst doctor ever, he really sucked!

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how do you kill a blonde?? put a scratch n sniff on the bottom of a pool

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You know who can't stand to put up with my shit? Polio victims.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Expensive cheese.

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Jesus hates you this I know, because Buddha told me soo.

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A plane crashes in the wilderness on the border of Canada and the U.S. Where do they bury the survivors? I lied. There were none.

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Two condoms walk into a gay bar. The people in the bar are perplexed that two inanimate objects are capable of locomotion.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog Woof.

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a mexican guy, a jewish guy, and a priest jump off a plane they landed safely and had a great day

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing, he found his tractor and went back to work.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Paki? Nothing, they're both as bad as each other.

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a duck walks into a restraunt.and the waiter asks "what would you like?" a quacker (like cracker)

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What did the turtle say to the hare? Nothing. Animals can't speak.

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Why did the room go dark? Somebody turned the lights off

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar

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What do you call a woman in the kitchen? Her name.

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Fucked up quotes: "When walking trough hell, keep going!" (I just turn back and walk the other way thank you, I mean worst case I walk trough heaven right?" "Never give up, ever ever ever ever ever..." (Ill just end it with etc because I gave up something as hard as... Typing?) "Curiosity killed the cat" (Translated: "Curiosity kills, stay inside forever" What?)

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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theres this guy that i REALLY like but today he was putting something in my locker, it was gumbie the little green bendy thing but i didnt want it to be in my locker so i slammed my locker, except the only thing was that his pinky was in the way!!!! oh gosh i felt soooooo bad!!!! turns out he went to the hostpital and got stitches!!!!!!! that made it worse on me!!!!!! he said he was finee but i still cant let that go!!!!!

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Q: How can you fit 1000 jews in one car? A: The Ashtray

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What's long and black? A line at KFC.

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A horse walks into a bar and orders a drink. (Don't ask me how that's possible, just go with it) As the bartender is pouring it, he asks "Why the long face?" The horse responds "My son died of cancer this morning..."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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What did the Zen Buddhist say in the hamburger store? He said, "Make me one with everything."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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