How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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You know you're a redneck when you come from a rural area and behave as such.

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What did one elephant say to the other elephant? Nothing. Elephants don't talk.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is deceased, therefore rendering her incapable of movement, which is required to drive a vehicle.

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What do you call a politician on fire? A tragic death for the American public..

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An atheist walks into a church

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once upon a time a guy thought he wrote an original anti joke but it wasnt

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How do you catch a green elephant? you paint it red and use a Red Elephant Trap

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Joe Alfon walkes into hell, The devil say: " hi" And joe burns to death

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? I cried when I cut up the onion.

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Why wasn't the child breastfed? Because it's mother died while in the process of giving birth and the father does not have the necessary mammary glands to produce human milk for the young child.

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If life gives you lemons, don't accept them because you have a citrus allergy.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Reality TV.

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Why did susie fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms... Why didn't she get up? She didn't have any legs... Why didn't anyone help her? She didn't have any friends. Then she died

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What did Jamie get for Christmas? Nothing. Jamie is not friends with Christmas.

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A thief walks into a bank. He has an account there and withdraws 200 bucks.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Cars were invented after her death, so she never had the opportunity to learn.

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What did the doctor say to his dying patient? Shit happens.

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Penis.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your mom is dead And your dad is too

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Let's go burn down an orphanage, what are they gonna do tell their parents?

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nba live 13

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was being chased.

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how many Arabs and Jews can you fit on a bus? The bus in question is a 56 seater,so 56. If you cram some people in the aisles you could probably fit 65 if you didn't care about anyone's comfortability sheesh you might even for in 100 or more.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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