Chuck Norris doesn't wait in traffic, he takes the subway

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Paper or plastic? Yes...

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I once shot an elephant in my pajamas. I suffer from a debilitating sleep disorder.

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What do fat kids and whales have in common? Ruth burden

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At the time my grandfather came round to visit, what was happening in Australia? A giant spider was giving birth.

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A man gets pushed in to a pole...

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Roses are red Violets are blue In Soviet Russia Poem make YOU!

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What do you call a blonde falling off a cliff? Screwed.

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her.

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go up to some one and say "i told you it would happen" with a straight face and walk away. it should cause a LOT of confusion.

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a boy jumps through a mirror and out a window then he fell so now he's dead.

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roses are red violets are blue I lost my dog to typhoid it was an unfortunate case of bed luck

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A boy owned a dog that was uncommonly shaggy. Many people remarked upon its considerable shagginess. When the boy learned that there are contests for shaggy dogs, he entered his dog. The dog won first prize for shagginess in both the local and the regional competitions. The boy entered the dog in ever-larger contests, until finally he entered it in the world championship for shaggy dogs. But the day before the championship the dog died.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Go ask your mom.

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What's big and looks like a mushroom? A Mushroom.

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Why did Rebecca Black die? She killed herself due to the cruelty of many people

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Why did the blind man have a poo Because he needed one.

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Wanna hear a joke? Your contact list.

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What do you call a baby with no arms nor legs? An infant lacking limbs.

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Roses are Gray, Violets are Gray, I am color-blind, I hate my life

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Why is this room orange? Because I painted it orange. You didn't paint it; my mom painted it.

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This schoolteacher was taking her first golfing lesson. She scored poorly from her lack of practice and experience and was turned off from the sport.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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