Whats happening when you see your TV floating at night? You are probably suffering from some sort of mental disorder which causes spontaneous hallucinations and should seek medical help before the condition worsens.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I hate black people. Because their black.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Shltskc gw? G

thumb_up thumb_down +25

whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: a pizza is a food that was created in italy and is regularly eaten daily around the world and a jew is a religion that is constantly criticized and made fun of because they are different.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What happened when the kid tried to hang himself? He was overweight, so the ceiling fan that the rope was tied to fell out of the ceiling. When he explained this to his drunk mother when she got home, she reinforced the fact that he was overweight (his low self esteem was the root of his depression) and beat him. The next day, he just chugged antifreeze. This isn't a true story. Just calm down.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Hey, I just met you And this is crazy I have alzheimer's Bacon

thumb_up thumb_down -27

400 asian people walked in a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Kumquats Daffodils Alka-Seltzer Serendipity Dewey Decimal System Buccaneer Avuncular Pantaloons Weasels Alligator Chewbacca Sasquatch

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Whats the difference between a red cup and a blue cup. Ones red and the other is blue.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A worm slowly crawled through the ground, only to be eaten by an incoming bird.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A middle-class family went away on vacation. While they were gone, a pyromaniac burnt down their house. Their cat was still inside.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house KNOCK KNOCK who's there? da chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

What did the ketchup say to the mustard? Nothing they're just condiments.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter it's not going to come to you anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A man walked into a pub, and enjoys of a couple off pints. Some time later he loudly asks the gentleman next to him: Do you know about this thing called Fightclub?... The bartender had to call an ambulance, you don't talk about fightclub

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the blind, deaf, and dumb child get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How long does it take to microwave a baby? I don't know, I was to busy masterbating. GBW

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Whats worse than being a black guy? NOTHING.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats the difference between a ham sandwich and a dead baby sandwich? I don't stomp on my ham sadnwiches with cleats before I eat them.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

What does a baby sound like when put in the microwave? I don't know, I was masturbating.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did little jimmy get for Christmas? A box containing the malevolent soul of a 10,000 year-old demon determined to torment his cat.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you make a mime talk? Put a gun to his head.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know your mother is a skank.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops