sally has no arms knock knock who's there not sally

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Why was Jimmy sad he couldn't play the Playstation? He didnt have one

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Why did Colnel Sanders cross the road? Colnel Ryan Sanders crossed the road to attack Taliban fighters who were endangering his military presence.

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How do you make a blonde fall off of a cliff? You push her off of the cliff.

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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Q: Why did the boy cry? A: He was denied access into heaven

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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The optimist sees the glass as half full. The pessimist sees the glass as half empty. The average American sees a half-finished glass of water that is not flavored and is therefore is not worth any reasonable person's time.

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Orange!" "Oranges can't speak, who is this really?" "Your neighbor Jake, can I borrow your lawn mower?" "Sure, let me go to the garage and get it for you."

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How many shots do you have to take to start feeling light-headed? Ask JFK.

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why was the albino black crying? because all babies cry you racist

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Why was Rebecca Black beaten with a pole when she sang Friday? It was Saturday

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It couldnt because a chicken was obscuring its path.

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Why don't pineapples grow on pine trees? Because they're tropical.

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I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

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Knock Knock Fuck off. I am new here. I do not know anyone here.

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Why didn't Fred answer his phone? Because Fred is a tree.

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A man was walking outside at night and he heard thunder and saw lighting so he took out a metal pole.

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What can't taste with a toung, and it's soul never dies? A shoe

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A man goes into a bar and gets drunk. He realizes that he is too drunk to drive and calls a cab to bring him home.

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A Finnish guy and a Russian guy go into a sauna. The Russian died.

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What's the main reason for divorce? Marriage.

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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: Did you hear about the Polish Helicopter crash? The pilot and three passengers died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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