Q: What did the homeless man say when he was mauled by a bear? A: Ouch.

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Superman, Batman and Spiderman are all in a race. Who wins? Grow up. Superheros aren't real.

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Q: What happens when two feminists try to chanbe a lightbulb? A: That's not funny.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A. Treadmil

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Two polar bears, oddly enough, are sitting in a bathtub. One of them asks "Could you pass the soap?" The other obliges and gives him the soap.

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Why was little Jimmy sad? Multiple complications including broken bones, a fractured skull, liver disease, and the fact that all his family had been gassed by the Nazis.

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What do you get when you rape a dead baby filled with jalapeños? A lifetime in prison, and a burning penis.

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Huffing glue only becomes a problem when you get stuck on it

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A man walked into a bar. It was very crowded so he decided to leave.

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How long does it take you to count to 5? 5 seconds.

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Steve,Jerry and tom all go into the mens toilets, because they are men.

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Yo mama so ugly that she often has trouble being attractive towards people of the opposite gender

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your mom is so nasty that when she took a shower and acquired general etiquette, she became possibly more respectable

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what do you tell a woman with one black eye? "sorry about that wild ball, you played a fantastic softball game otherwise"

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I make it rain on them hoes, By which I mean I masterbate from my third story patio

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What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

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What did the black man get his mom for Mother's Day? Some jewelry and a very nice card.

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Wanna hear a joke? Me too.

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Justin Beiber walks into a bar. He is not served any alcohol because he is not yet 21.

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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A fish walks into a bar. He proceeds to talk the bartender. "Blub blub blub" The fish sitting next to him whispers to the bartender. "What is he talking about." The bartender shrugs.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Two holocausts.

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Why did the man have square fingers? Because he has Apert Syndrome

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What's more greasy than grease? Kevin's hair

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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