Day turn night. Dreaming is now true . Turn on your flashlight, slenderman is behind you.

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Why did the woman hate waiting in line? Two reasons really: almost an entire day had passed since her last intake of non-prescription drugs plus she was generally apprehensive that the witness would identify her.

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Why does the pope doesn't use this finger? (raise a finger) That's mine!

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What's funnier than my jokes? your face.

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How did the fat man die? Someone who was mad at society shot him and many others in the head while at the workplace.

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Q. What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A. Cancer

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A man asked a friend at work if he could have $100, his friend replied "sure I'll give it to you when pigs fly", that man never received $100 dollars from his friend.

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A man walks into a bar, drinks a few beers, then calls a taxi to take him home because he knew the risks of drunk driving.

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because it is very difficult for someone with a vision impairment to operate a vehicle.

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Your mother is so ugly that I removed her from my friends list on Facebook.

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If Miley Cyrus has the ability to come in like a wrecking ball, how come she can't twerk?

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whats the difference between a cat and a rooster? who the hell cares, all black people should die

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What happened to the alcoholic man that decided to never drink ever again? He died of thirst. Moral: Alcohol was the only available liquid in this twilight zone... Anti anti joke

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What do Bruce Lee and Michael Jackson have in common? They are both dead

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How do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

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Knock Knock. Whos there? I am the danger! Danger who? I AM THE ONE WHO KNOCKS!

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why did Bernard have a bold because I ripped his Mohawk

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A blonde has a headache, so she goes to the doctor. The doctor prescribes some Advil, she takes it, and then feels significantly better.

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: An Elephant was sitting on his face

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A man walked into a bar. He was meeting his friends but was 30 minutes early so he went down the road to buy some food. He had recently began dieting after watching a series of lifestyle programs which informed him of the potential risks involved with high cholesterol and blood pressure levels. He purchased a garden salad and a freshly squeezed orange juice, and made it back to the bar in time to meet his friends.

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How do you kill a clown shoot it in the face

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Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a rapist.

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Roses are red That much is true But violets are purple Not freaking blue

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whats funnier than 24? your grammar, its more funny thank you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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