I was relaxing on the beach today when a fat bird came over and said, "Would you rub this lotion into my back please?" "I'm afraid I'm only here for the day," I replied.

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Mr. Wonder, optimism is seeing the glass as half full, pessimism as seeing the glass half empty, and realism as not seeing the glass at all.

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Why did the asian man crash? He fell asleep after a long 18 hour day of driving, plus he was listening to soothing soul music.

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What do you call Eric Torres A furnace magnet

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A priest and a rabii walk into a bar. Both men, despite both being good people and well respected in their communities, aren't able to overcome their differences which are signified by their religions. Both men later leave the bar and surround themselves with people of their own kin.

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47

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Your momma's so fat, people make jokes about her.

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What happened to the famous musician when he overdosed? He overdosed.

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whats the difference between a pair of shoes, and a computer. alot.

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Want to hear a joke? No.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Women's Rights

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How does a black woman know she is pregnant? When she pulls her tampon out the cotton is already picked.

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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Hummer.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? Misthrown

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If you're having girl problems, I feel bad for you, son... Because I can empathise with you, and it's not a very nice situation to be in. Hope you work it out.

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facebook is like a refrigerator. you eat it.

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What do you call a deer with no eye? No eye deer ( get it, it's like the red, necked southern speaking states )

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will have her institutionalized as soon as they find her.

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What did the fat girl say to the good looking guy? Nothing. She didn't have the self-confidence to go up to him.

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Why was the boy sad? His cookies are gone.

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What's funnier than the pope in a speedo? Humor is subjective, so answers vary from person to person.

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Whats the difference between a brick and a Jew? One you throw it at the postmans head, the other is just a brick

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Why did the Chicken cross the roead? It didn't

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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