Why was the mushroom invited to the party? Because the party was a rave and some mushrooms are know to make the consumer of them hallucinate wildly.

Why was little Timmy so fast? Because he's tied up in the trunk of a speeding car.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

Why didn't Susan go to school on show-and-tell day? Because she's dead.

What did the blue man say to the red lady? Do you want to make purple? -A.M.M

Why doesn't business go well for pizzeria Vesuvio? Their chef has been dead since many years.

Roses come in a variety of colors.

Whats white and black and red all over? A panda that has just been shot by a poacher.

Smoke weed till i die nigga

where do you find a dog with no legs? Korea. It's customary for the guests to get the drumsticks.

When did the laughter finally die? When you started this joke.

A rapist is asked to teach a kindergarden class. The kids learn many things and have a great day.

what do you call a fish without eyes? a fshhhhh

If a quiz is a quizzical what is a test? It is an assessment intended to measure the respondents' knowledge or other abilities.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Lots of things. Life isn't all about you, you know.

why did the car drive off the cliff? The driver was a potato...

Cry me a river. Then build a bridge and become a structural engineer.

What did the Jews say before they got of the bus? Let's make like a Jewish kid's forskin and get the hell out of here.

Why couldn't the Asian man drive very well? He was blind from birth.

Did you hear about the guy that told bad jokes? No.

what do you call a black guy in a house? a burglar

Why didn't the millionaire jump off the Golden Gate Bridge? He said "I don't have to commit suicide, that's for poor people" (Wyndellberg)

Why wouldn't someone want to work in the mining industry? Their dad died in the mines.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Well, neither has he.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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