What did the robot say to the centipede? STOP BEING A CENTIPEDE!!!! It's funny cause the robot ain't got no arms.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not very intelligent and was scared by a shadow. The chicken's survival instincts caused it to cross the road, away from the shadow. The chicken crossed the road safely, and is now happily pecking at worms.

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knock knock. who's there? someone.

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Why was Johnny so sad His father beat his mother

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What happens when you cut Chuck Norris? He bleeds

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How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None

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There is a mom a dad and a son, they walk into the museum and the dad is in the bathroom.

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he's working out.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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What has eyes but can't see? A blind person.

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your a towel.

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Bro: Aww Dawg! What if they tell me I got da aids? Dawg!: Hey don worry bro, you gotta BE POSITIVE

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What is Sally's favorite flavor ice cream? She can't eat ice cream, she's lacktose and tollerant.

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What has 4 legs and cant walk? A paralyzed dog

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What's hiding in Redfoo (from LMFAO)'s afro? Nobody knows...

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Where is boots, Dora asks Why the hell are you asking me when your the one who is with him.

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So, a Vulcan walks into a bar... and he doesn't say anything, because Vulcan's suppress their emotions.

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How many elephants can you fit in a car? Five. Two in the front, two in the back, and one in the glove compartment.

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A heavily drunk man walks into a bar and proceeds to die of alcohol poisoning.

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What's funnier than a fat person falling nothing is

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What do you call a muslim in an airport? A muslim going on vacation you racist bastard.

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whats the oposite from anti-jokes? uncle-jokes. LOL

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what did god say when we made his first black person oops i acidenlty burnt it

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John - hey do you have tickets to see Oasis? Sam - No I bought green day tickets intead. John rolls his eyes at sam very dissapointedly then proceeds to go home. The next day Sam phones John excitedly telling him he traded his Green day tickets for Oasis tickets, a smile appears on Johns and Sams faces, not that they can see each other, they both then put the phone down. An African died. Green Day are a bad band.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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