What do a banana and helicopter have in common? Neither is a police officer

How do you get a clown of a swing? Hit it with an ax.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream...?? Because he got hit by a white van

Whats worse than the Holocaust? Jews

Why did the baby cry? Because he fell off a refrigerator.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They were baked until the baker them until they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

What do you call an awesome bucket? An epic pail.

a blond was walking across a river thinking how do I get across. when she saw another blond. and asked how do I get to the other side and the other said your already on the other side.

What can move people but not rocks.. Poop

Your mom is so fat, she has diabetes.

How Do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door put the elephant in and close the door. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door take the elephant out put the giraffe in and close the door. The lion king has a meeting with all the animals but one doesn't turn up, which one is it? The giraffe because it's still in the fridge.

what's brown and sticky? a stick.

Roses are RED , Violets are BLUE , once Valentines day is Over , All ya girls is gonna go back to LOVIN' THE CREW.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

Q: What's big, black, and smelly? A: The unemployment line.

What did the people say to each other when they ate the orange? Orange you glad I didn't eat you:) HAHAHAA orange you glad that I am good at telling jokes!

Why is Taylor sad? Because she's the middle of a human centipede.

Why was the man struck by lightning? Josh Mathai was there.

Homosexualism is so gay man

What did my wife say when I asked her to pick up some milk on her way home from work? OK

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He was shot. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He was mentally disturbed. Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure

What did the prisoner get for Christmas? A lethal injection.

hey i just F****d u and this is crazy so delete the number and keep the baby

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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