Once upon a time there was a cowboy. He died. The end.

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What's the leading cause of pedophilia? Sexy kids.

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Why did the little hamster die? Because it had a careless owner who never paid any attention to it. therefor it passed away.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead...

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What would you call Martin Luther King Jr. If he was alive today? Alive

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Why was timmy having trouble with his homework? Because lobotomies were a forced practice in the 1950's.

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What do babies and caterpillars have in common? They're both dead. Except the caterpillar.

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Mary had a little lamb... The doctor fainted

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Why did the yeti make an omlette? To practise making omlettes.

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What happens when a drunk driver meets a stoned driver? A head on collision

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A priest, rabbi, and mormon are arguing about which religion is best. A zookeeper hears and says, "I have a bear who is sleeping right now. How about whoever converts the bear belongs to the best religion?" The priest goes in first, and then walks out a few minutes later, unharmed. The mormon does the same, and he too exits unscathed. The rabbi goes in, and walks out covered in claw marks. "How'd it go?" Said the zookeeper. "Easy." Said the priest. "I just sprinkled some Holy water on him." "I did the same." Said the mormon. The rabbi looked at the zookeeper and said, "have you ever tried to circumcise a bear?"

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What did the boy reading the book do? He kept turning pages and reading until he came to the end, closed the book, and put it back onto the book shelf.

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Your moms so ugly, that when i took her out to eat for dinner we built an everlasting relationship. Thats why you call me dad.

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An Irishman walks out of a pub. Just kidding.

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Covietz has a large penis

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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Why are we on a roof? Becuse some idiot gave us all roofies.

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A guy reads the bible Another guy shouts "spoiler alert, the main character dies"

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What did the teacher say to the kid who got a 0 on a multiple choice spelling test? Wow your really dumb. Idiot

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Whats pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

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Your mother's so fat that affects her self esteem.

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Last week, I visited the Virgin Islands. Now it's just called Islands.

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What is the similarety between a car and a banana? Both starts with B

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IMMA FIND YO ASS DO!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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