- Anti Joke

A black guy and a mexican get into a car Who is driving? Whoever takes a seat in the drivers side of the car

An Englishman, Irishman, and Jew walk into a bar. Steven Spielberg is a Jew.

what happened to walt disney when he died? nothing he was frozen and has been for many years now

Naw, not now, I don't want to be assimilated, I am a bit of a wuss right now, really tired.

What do you call a place where all hopes and dreams go to die as this place is contained of depression and the lingering smell of death? www.anti-joke.com

Where did Susie go in the bombing? Nowhere. Susie is the bomber.

if your in a wheelchair have no hair because of cancer and are being fed through a tube you should wait a couple of years before ending it. and wrinkles into the equation....... BANG

Nah

Penis jokes.

SERIOUSLY EVERONE! I STRICTLY FORBID YOU TO GIVE MY COMMENT A GREEN THUMB! BECAUSE THEN I WOULD DIE A VIOLENT DEATH AND BURN IN THE FLAMES OF HELL! DO YOU HEAR ME! YEEEEAH, YOU BETTER GIVE ME A RED THUMB! YEAH! BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT? I COULD NOT STAND THE THOUGHT OF MORE THAN ONE! GREEN THUMB! I WOULD JUST DIE AND YOU WOULD BE LEFT WITH THE GUILT! YEAH! PEOPLE WOULD HATE YOU! HATE! HATE! YOU AS THEIR HERO! I MEAN THEIR NERO... Same same... DIES! YES! Moral: CONSIDER YOURSELF WARNED! YOU DO NOT WANT ME TO DIE, REPEAT AFTER ME: "I MUST GIVE NERO RED THUMBS, I MUST GIVE NERO RED THUMBS! I AM UNDER HIS CONTROL! I MUUUUST GIVE NERO RED THUMBS! YES DO MY BIDDING PEASANTS AND I SHALL SHALL BUILD THE FORTRESS OF SALTITUDE! ... WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT GREEN THUMB! PUT IT DOWN AND PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR! NO NOT UP, THE THUMB MUST BE DOWN! ...I am looking at you there... "YES YOU! NOT EVERYBODY ELSE! JUST YOU! YEEES I SEE YOU WAVING THAT NASTY GREEN THUMB OF YOURS! YEAH! SHAME ON YOU! WHAT WILL EVERYBODY ELSE BUT YOU THINK ABOUT THAT HUH? ...I will be silent now... But I am still watching, yeah! I am constantly here... ZzzzZzzz... AND AWAKE!... ..:SERIOUSLY! GREEN THUMB IS VERBOTEN! IT IS NAZI, IT IS HITLER! SHAME! SHAAME! Moral: Now, do you want my death by green thumb on your conscience? SHAAAAME! WHAT WILL THE COMMUNITY DO TO YOU! DO YOU NEVER THINK ABOUT THE CHILDREN!? And next time on Dragonball DONTGIVEAFUCKING GREENTHUMBEVER Z! I shall be the one and only to give myself a green thumb, but remember... I am still watching... At you.... Now, I will stop talking... BUT RED THUMBS ONLY! present <<< Yes this is my constant presence.

Why did the man go bald? He had cancer

why was Lucy fat? Her BMI was over the recommended average.

crime in multi story is wrong on so many levels!

Me: Hey mom Mom: Hey Son Me: Whats? for dinner? Mom: I dont know

An Antihumorous Story Part One A rich man named Richard told his son James that he could have anything in the world for his thirteenth birthday. James only asked for one thing: a silver box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. So Richard gave him a metal box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. Five years later, Richard heard a strange noise coming from James' room. It was the sound of a machine whirring, then a high pitched scream. All of a sudden, James bursted out of his room and ran out of the house. Later, the boy could not recall the incident. It was completely erased from his memory. For his eighteenth birthday, James asked for a golden box containing 785 pink ping balls. So it was granted him. For the next ten years, Richard kept a careful eye on his son. Every night, James could be heard whispering madly, "It's almost ready," over and over. For his twenty-eighth birthday, James asked for a simple wooden box that had one million pink ping pong balls inside. "What do you need all those pink ping pong balls for?" Richard finally asked. James froze, fiddling with something in the pocket of his jacket. "Oh yes, that. They were necessary for--" Then he got hit by a bus.

Billy was so silly that he named his pet zebra Spot.

What's red, white and not blue. A Canadian flag

That's a lie, buffaloes are extinct now

What do you call a black guy who is selling drugs? A pharmacist.

Why couldn't the women cook for her family She had no arms, therefore incapable of preforming the task.

A man yells at the top of the Grand Canyon, "Heyoooooo" He hears His voice echo multiple times. He yells again, "Heyoooooo" This time he hears his echo and a girl yell "heyo" back to him from within the canyon. He looks down. He falls. A mountain goat breaks his fall. The man is so thankful for the goat. He says, " Thank you goat! You saved my life!" The goat then pulls out a gun, and shoots him thrice. The man dies.

What does 1 black person on the moon mean? A problem. What do 2 black people on the moon mean? A problem. What does every black person on the world on the moon mean? It's still a problem.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To find some grain.

Man: Did it hurt? Woman: huh? Man: Did it hurt when i killed your family?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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