Yo mama so fat when she goes to the gym, she makes her trainer skinnier.

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Your momma's so dumb, she has below average IQ.

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Why couldnt rex bark??? because he was a fish!

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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Why are black people afraid of white people? They aren't

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So A duck wants to be a musician. Day1: He cuts of his beak attempting to sing. Day2: Dead

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FUCK THE JEWS

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Wanna hear an oxymoron? Jews for Jesus.

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What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

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hey i just meet you and this is crazy but i picked out our wedding cake and named our 4 future children :-)))))))

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A pregnant woman walks into a bar and miscarries.

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What's big and grey and can't climb trees? A car park.

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a cat? Neither did she

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What did the fish say after it's head was cut off? Nothing, it was a fish.

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You know that Duck song on youtube? I dont get it... ducks cant talk...

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why was the boy sad He had a frog stapled to his face

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles? Pick it up and put it in a crib, like a responsible parent.

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Why did the women knock on the door? she needed to do a shit

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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There are 2 kinds of people in this world... 1.Those who need closure.

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Girl look at that body, girl look at that body, I got passion in my pants... Actually I lied, I got a penis and testicles in my pants, but I'm afraid to show it because people might think it's small, sorry

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If life hands you lemons, take them they taste good

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Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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