Roses are red, Viiolets are blue, Get in the gas chamber, You dirty Jew.

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Why didn't the magician pull a rabbit from a hat? Despite his choice of occupation, magic tricks are rarely appropriate in hostage situations.

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Q:Whats worse than 100 babies in 1 dumpster? A:1 dead baby is 100 dumpsters.

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How do u turn on a lamp? Flip the switch

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Why did the boat sink I shot a missile at it

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why was the tricycle lonely? the mom back over the kid in the driveway.

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Facebook How i met my mother

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whyd the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side :)

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says to the other muffin, "Sure is hot in here." The other muffin says, "AHHHH! A talking muffin."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The Holocaust. And also cancer.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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Why did the man go to space? He was a highly trained astronaut

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Joe has 30 candy bars and eats 25. What does john have now? DIABETIES. Joe has diabeties. Please comment!!!!!!!

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Q: Why was the math book sad? A: Because he recently found out that his parents died in a tragic car accident.

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How do you get your sister to stop wearing your underwear? Throw up on her.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because a man holding a shotgun was chasing him

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horses are burgers now ive got the flu watch out tescos because im gonna sue

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Why did 12 people die when they went to see The Dark Knight Rises movie premiere? Because they were shot and bled profusely resulting in quick, painful death.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There is no reason. Chickens don't have the thinking skills to reason.

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Ha-Ha! Well now, we call this the act of mating But there are several other very important differences Between human beings and animals that you should know about I'd appreciate your input Sweat baby sweat baby sex is a Texas drought Me and you do the kind of stuff that only Prince would sing about So put your hands down my pants and I'll bet you'll feel nuts Yes I'm Siskel, yes I'm Ebert and you're getting two thumbs up You've had enough of two-hand touch you want it rough you're out of bounds I want you smothered want you covered like my Waffle House hashbrowns Come quicker than FedEx never reach an apex just like Coca-Cola stock you are inclined To make me rise an hour early just like Daylight Savings Time Do it now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Do it again now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Gettin' horny now Love the kind you clean up with a mop and bucket Like the lost catacombs of Egypt only God knows where we stuck it Hieroglyphics? Let me be Pacific I wanna be down in your South Seas But I got this notion that the motion of your ocean means "Small Craft Advisory" So if I capsize on your thighs high tide, B-5 you sunk my battleship Please turn me on I'm Mister Coffee with an automatic drip So show me yours I'll show you mine "Tool Time" you'll Lovett just like Lyle And then we'll do it doggy style so we can both watch "X-Files" Do it now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Do it again now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Gettin' horny now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Do it again now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Do it now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Do it again now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Gettin' horny now

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Do you know what the cop said to the black guy? Your free to go

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Women

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Next time someone says "I have mad money"... Say "whys it mad"

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whats worst then geting a used condom put in your mouth geting wraped by mario then lugi

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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