A man comes home from the office, walks inside and hangs up his coat and hat at the door. He walks into the kitchen to find his wife has not made dinner instead she is drinking with friends, she tells him that she would have made dinner but she didnt want to. Furious, the man storms to the door, grabs his coat and leaves... He gets in his car and drives down to the pub. Sitting there drinking his beer, trying to calm down he finds a peice of paper tucked into his coat pocket, he unfolds it and reads it. It turns out to be a memo he wrote to remind himself at work that day.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did Sally fall off the Empore State Building? Her mother threw a refrigerator at her. -BG

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Roes are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesn't rhyme, You're entire family has died. The plane that they were on went down due to a flock of geese getting sucked into the engine. They were visiting you for your twenty fifth birthday and wanted to surprise you. there were no survivors.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

If there are 50 oranges and 50 waffles tied to a fence post. How many cow utters does it take to shit green? urine.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum." Doctor: "I've got some cream for that."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was the dyslexic cowboy crying when he came into school that day? He had chronic diarrhea.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you say to an over weight Jewish mother? "Work on those crunches" He was her coach.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you drown a blond? Glue a mirror to the bottom of a pool!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

So, this cheerio is in love with a beautiful frosted cheerio. He asks her on a date. She says no, because she only dates other frosted cheerios. So the cheerio works really hard at his job and is promoted to a honey-nut cheerio. So he asks her out again. She says no because she only dates frosted cheerios. So he works even harder and is made a frosted cheerio. He asks her out again and she accepts. 4 months later after a relationship built on trust and understanding they are married and live a long and fullfilling life together.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your parents are dead, and so will you.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Knock knock! Who's there? Alan okay come in

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I went to the game and saw a Mexican wave. So I waved back at him.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the man say when he had sex for the first time "So how come I'm the one with the vagina"?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the difference between black people and white people? Their skin color.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Whats worse than the holucaust.......... Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -13

why did the chicken cross the road? because colonel sanders was chasing it with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down -5

your moms tits are so big she may have breast cancer she may have breast cancer which takes approximitely 300,000 lives per year

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Doctor, doctor, it hurts when I hit my head with a hammer!! Dont hit your head with a hammer anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Whais red and bad for your teeth? a brick

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Don't you hate it when you have 5 dead bodies, and you don't know which one to shoot your load on? -no

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Have you heard of the mute man that kept telling people he could not talk? Its funny because its true.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What caused the Berlin Wall to come down? Gravity

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How many light bulbs does it take to garner an unnecessarily large crowd of a single ethnic group of people working together to simultaneously replace said light bulbs and uphold their cultural stereotypes? What the hell's a light bulb? I'm a culturally illiterate Amish man.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops