I don't usually drink beer, but when I do it usually doesn't take much for me to feel the effects of intoxication.

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Q: whats worse than ten babies in one trash can A: one baby in ten trash cans

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Why didn't the new baseball cap fit little Tommy? Because Tommy was decapitated

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What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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What's worse than finding a dead baby in a dumpster? Recognizing the baby as your missing child, and finding the corpse of your dead wife next to it.

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How do you get three Canadians out of a pool? Say "Hey guys time to get out of the pool."

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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Women's rights

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Why did the farmer name his pig "ink"? He had a terrible case of dementia.

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why is 4 afraid of 5? Because Monkey's eat purple pineapples

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How does a black guy die? Unknown

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Why couldn't the black guy enter the room? He was too large to fit through the doorway therefore he turned around and left

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue,All you HATERS of J. Bieber, Go suck your MOTHER.

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Q: What was the last thing to enter the bug's mind as it flew into the windshield? A: His back legs.

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Knock Knock! F*ck off

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Why did the semen cross the road? Because i put on the wrong socks this morning

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what is the difference between oral and anal? anal makes your day and anal makes your whole weak

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange Who? Oranges are very good for you and enriched with vitamin C that is apparently good to intake when you are experiencing cold/flu like symptoms during the winter season and your doctor won't give you medication because you aren't sick enough and you already ask for medication to much because you think you are always sick with something. That's what happens when you're a hypochondriac.

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God said onto john "come forth and receive eternal life" john came fifth and received a toaster.

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What did one tree say to the other? "Hey Phil, how's it going?

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What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs? Names.

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What's the difference between a white person and a black person? The presence of melanin in their skin, as well as often their socioeconomic and cultural backgrounds.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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