Roses are red violets are blue my d*** is bigger than you.

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How come Tommy isn't allowed to sing anymore? Because he has a punctured artery, collapsed lung, fractured ribcage, and a failed organ...

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My piggy bank is empty. No change there then

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james schmitt whats your last name

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If Michelle rides her bike at 15 mph for 20 minutes and Erik rides his bike at 20 mph for 12 minutes, why is Michelle not in the kitchen?

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Why Tom is Gay ? Because brocoly didnt eat a mashroom .

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Noses are red, pilots are blue I am dyxslexic boo who

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He felt like crossing roads that day.

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What do you call a computer running Windows DOS? Obselete

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what do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind

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What's big? Jupiter.

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Knock knock Who's there? Me. Idiot.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Matters the size of the bathtub and the size of the babies.

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Teacher: "What is the outside layer on a tree?" Dog: "Bark" Teacher: "How would you describe the desert surface?" Dog: "Rough" Teacher: "Would you say that Abraham Lincoln was an intelligent man?" Dog: "Yarp"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the most direct path to his destination.

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Why did the black man get pulled over by a cop? He was driving 12 miles over the speed limit.

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i stole a monkey from a man in a yellow hat his name is george now his name is i hate you

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Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He died Why did the other boy fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first Why did the third boy fall out of the tree? Prepressure

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sharks

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Which ballet do pigs like best? Pigs don't understand ballet, but they probably like the ones with audience participation, as they are friendly animals and enjoy interacting with humans.

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doctor doctor i need help i stay up all night dancing what is it? dance fever! HAHAHAHA its fatal.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't.

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A cat walks into a bar. He orders some beer. The bartender asks, why the sad face. The cat replies, "I got laid off"

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Why did the kid poo his pants? Because he was Matt Daly

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops