Why did the Mexican mow his neighbors lawn? Because the Mexican was 12 years old and his neighbor was paying him $20 to mow the lawn.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

You wanna hear a joke? Me too

thumb_up thumb_down +13

One time at band camp.............that's it........

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A horse walks into a glue factory..

thumb_up thumb_down +20

how do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Hitler

thumb_up thumb_down -13

There was a dog walking down the street with his GF. The dog can have a GF and can talk because this is an anti joke. Then the dog broke up with his GF because he was unhappy with her scent. Dogs are weird that way. Then, sobbing, he saw something through the blur of his tears. The county fair was open! Elated, the dog ran to the fair and waited n the ticket line for a long time. He waited so long, he almost exploded. Once he got to the end, he reached in his coat pocket (yeah, the dog is wearing a coat. It's cold), and found no wallet. FUUUUUUU! By the time he got back, the fair was closed for the day. The next time he came back, he had a hard time getting through the line. When he did, he raced to the ferris wheel. Halfway up, the ferris wheel stopped. CWAP! The neckst daey, thee dwawg whent two the ferries weele and went up. Yay. At the top, he saw his house! there was a chicken crossing the road. WTF? Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. Phuck yeah.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why is Abraham Lincoln a bad driver? Because he is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why was the guy stranded on an island? because his boat crashed.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why couldn't the bunny hop? Because it lost both it's legs

thumb_up thumb_down +10

There's this traveling merchant from Flint, MI. He goes door to door trying to sell shampoo. He is having a lot of trouble selling shampoo in Flint because they were hit hard during the recession and now ahve trouble affording even the most seemingly cheap products.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

A Duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'd like to buy some peanuts." The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't sell peanuts." The duck turns around and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Costello: Who's on first Joe Girardi: Mark Teixeira

thumb_up thumb_down +9

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners unfamiliar with the Latin alphabet.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the unicorn say when he was kicked out of the grocery store? Nothing, dodo birds dont exist

thumb_up thumb_down -34

There once was a man from Nantucket, Who had an average-sized penis he only used during monogamous sex with his spouse.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are brown, Violets are brown, who shat in my garden

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did Stephen Hawking ask for pizza? Because he was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the white man say to the muslim? Hi

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do you make a Muslim mad? You burn the Quran.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q. What's worse than 9/11? A. That one shark jumping episode of Happy Days.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What has stripes, isn't a virgin, and has golden hands? I don't know I asked you first.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call an Ethiopian with buck teeth? Lucky to have teeth.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the man fall of the building? Someone shot both of his kneecaps.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops