Hi I'm makena. I'm a cynical asshole

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the boy hate his bicycle and soccer ball he got for Christmas? The boy didn't have legs. He also hated sports. By the way he was black but that doesn't matter, he still hated sports. Who in the right mind would give a cripple inappropriate toys? Probably a racist Santa Claus. Oh by the way, Santa Claus is not real. So did they return the presents after the boy found out what it was? Yes, and it turns out the boy got a guitar and piano instead. Too bad the boy is also deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's the difference between a rooster and a waffle iron? A lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How did the baby cross the road? The baby got stapled to a chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call a man that likes fishsticks? His name

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How do you make a Fireman cry? You kill his family in a fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Q: What do you call a grammatically incorrect horse? A: An horse

thumb_up thumb_down +25

chuck norris does not know how to use a plunger.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q.who is Tiny, a lion and has no friends and is a bald eagle? A.Rory Johnston

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the chicken cross the road? No reason.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is the saddest episode on tv ever? The live broadcast of the World Trade Center being destroyed.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

I'm Ryan Dunn, and this is a 120 mph car crash

thumb_up thumb_down +13

who is lanky? Theo Kingdom

thumb_up thumb_down +19

WELCOME TO THE SECRET BEYOND THE SIXTH SENSE! 1, Sound 2. sight 3.touch 4.Smell 5.Taste. 6.Balance? :(

thumb_up thumb_down -9

You always hear of the 9/11 stories where people who work in the World Trade Centers were late that day or home sick or whatever. My mom also worked there. It was a normal morning, got up to make us breakfast, got us to school on time, the whole bit. After having to do all that stuff, she actually got to work on time, and she died in the attack.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +75

Why did the skeleton cross the street. He didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did Elliot Spitzer cross the road? To go have sex with a hooker.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats worse than losing your car keys? Watching your 4 year old son get visciously raped by a 20stone sex hungry pedophile and knowing you cant do anything about it because the sex hungry pedophile is your dad and he is the alpha male of the family so he has full mating rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: It didn't, instead it got put in to a McDonald's chicken wrap. Life is funny sometimes, and sceane

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the pencil break? A Viking destroyed it with his beard.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A man and his dog walk into the park, the man grabs a ball and chucks it for the dog. The dog can not chase after the ball because he has no legs and bites his owners leg.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

JAmie stegman loves making love with his sister... he loves inbreeds so much

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a smart blond? There aren't any so there shouldn't be a name for it.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops