Boy: Your father must be an alien, because there’s nothing else like you on earth! Girl: *whispering* please don't tell anyone we are trying not to be noticed...

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Did you hear the one about the kinky dominatrix? No. Damn. I really wanted the details.

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Why are babies like shake weights? Cause If you shake them long enough, they both end up being inanimate objects.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, My house is red, I am on fire

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Why did the man die? He helped others before placing his own oxygen mask on?

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what did the man do when he was at the end of his rope? he bought more rope.

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Old McDonald had a farm. He grew corn there, and got reasonably wealthy. Then he retired to the Bahamas.

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Why did the man fall over screaming? Because he got shot in the leg

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What do blind people see when they close one eye? Nothing.

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Knock Knock Whos there Who Yan Who Yan Who Chow Yan Chow

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whats worse than a paper cut? 2012

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What does the gay man do while he is taking a shower with many other men in a prison or a gym? Lathers soap all over his body to clean himself so he is not smelly.

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A: Knock knock! B: A: Guess no one's home.

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A family of black people get onto a plane. The son said to his father: "Why do planes have wings?" The father then replied by saying: "To help them fly son." The plane's wing then fell off due to a building error, then the plane crashed and everyone on board was killed.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witnesses, can we have a moment of your time?

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Why was the boy in a wheelchair raising money to buy a basketball uniform? Because wheelchair basketball is a popular sport

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Why did Steven Hawkins die? he got a virus

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A black teenager drives an Escalade His father is a prominent lawyer and his mother is a neuroscientist.

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why did the man ride the helicopter,because he was hurt horrible in a car accident.

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Here's a riddle... A cowboy rides into town on saturday, stays for three days, and leaves on saturday... How does he do it? Well, you see he is a time bending magician who usually lives on a farm on Mars with his family of magicians. He is not really a cowboy but dresses like one to be like everyone else. He is heavily affected by peer pressure and has done a lot of dumb things just to impress his partners. His partners are big bullies and they have trouble being nice to Jimmy (The time-bending, space-living, cowboy-impersonating martian). His partners names are Bob and George. Oh right... I'm trailing off... Well, you see he is a time bending magician who usually lives on a farm on Mars with his family of magicians. He is not really a cowboy but dresses like one to be like everyone else. He is heavily affected by peer pressure and has done a lot of dumb things just to impress his partners. His partners are big bullies and they have trouble being nice to Jimmy (The time-bending, space-living, cowboy-impersonating martian). His partners names are Bob and George. Oh right... I'm trailing off... Well, you see he is a time bending magician who usually lives on a farm on Mars with his family of magicians. He is not really a cowboy but dresses like one to be like everyone else. He is heavily affected by peer pressure and has done a lot of dumb things just to impress his partners. His partners are big bullies and they have trouble being nice to Jimmy (The time-bending, space-living, cowboy-impersonating martian). His partners names are Bob and George. Oh right... I'm trailing off... OH... I'M DONE NOW...

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a black man, a jew, a mexican and an irish man walked into a bar and the bartender says: This is joke right??

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what'd one jew say to the other jew? i cant eat this its ham. (sounds better when said with disappointed jew voice)

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Q: What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? A: Get in the car.

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If I could rearrange the letters of the alphabet.... dklaujeo bnvalue doiandkluq!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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