A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. He was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral.

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what happens if you set micheal jackson on fire nothing he is 6 feet under incased in concrete if he wasnt hed melt

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What do you call someone who explores wild cave systems? A spelunker.

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Why did the little girl keep running into things Because she was blind

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What is similar about Michael Jackson and Walmart? Nothing they have nothing to do with each other

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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What did the sick kid say to Make a Wish foundation? To get better

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Q: What do you get if you combine a melody, instrumentation, rhythm, and vocals? A: Um, music, you idiot.

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A man was walking down the street in the pitch black dark and he looked into a pitch black dark window. What did he see? Pitch black dark people.

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty six year old's? I am twenty one and prefer older ladies as I find them more experienced and mature.

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What's the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain? So YOU'RE the one!

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What is worse than finding an apple in you worm? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's the Mortgage company. You haven't payed your loans. The man loses his house and becomes homeless.

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Me-Whats long and hard and full of seaman Him-a submarine Me-No dumb ass a dick

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What do you get when a bulldog and shitzu reproduce? A litter of extremely cute puppies.

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Whats on my leg? A pimple. What is it doing? Releasing a white/clear puss.

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Roses are rainbow. Violets are rainbow. Everything is rainbow. Thats why you don't take LSD.

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

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whats black and blue and red all over? my wife shhh!

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have stage IV Ovarian Cancer.

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what's worse than the holocaust living jews

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A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

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homosexual

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how many cookies did the fat kid eat? a perfectly reasonable amount of cookies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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