What do you call an arab terrorist with a bomb on his back in the middle of an airport? Don't even worry. You will never be able to pronounce his name.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a homicidal maniac, six has every right to be afraid

thumb_up thumb_down +12

whats the difference between you're mom and you're dad none there both the same

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q. What do you call a headless boy in a river A. A headless boy, in a river.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "what would you like to drink?". The horse, unable to comprehend english, just nods and proceeds to shit on the floor

thumb_up thumb_down +46

A dyslexic man walks into a bar, he doesn't let a minor disablity distract him from having a good time.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you kill a polar bear? You melt the polar ice caps and take a rope and choke it till it is out cold. You then put a plastic bag over its head and throw it in the water.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why was Sally gone for her father's birthday? She went on a camping trip with her friends. Sally's friends were brutally murdered and she was kidnapped. The kidnapper cut off her arms and legs and left her in the middle of a suburban intersection late at night. The autopsy revealed that Sally died from blood loss from losing her limbs. It also revealed that she had contracted a fast growing tumor in her brain which would have most likely killed her within days of the murder anyway. Her family was living in the country illegally so her DNA did not reveal a computer file of her person. Her parents were not informed of her death for years because of this. When it was determined that the victim was the parents' daughter they were arrested for living in the country illegally and were not able to have a funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the boy say during his math test? Nothing, talking during a test is prohibited.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

#FEARtheFLAMINGOS

thumb_up thumb_down

Yesterday I saw a black kid outrun a white kid know why? Because the white kid was a cripple

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did casino dealer say to the other? Every day I'm shuffling.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

i may not know where you sleep. but, i spiked your drink with sleeping pills

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: How does 5 gay people walk together? A: In One Direction.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get slaughtered.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

how many scrubbers does it take to change a light bulb ? 2 , 1 to change it , and 1 to make it smell piss

thumb_up thumb_down +22

whats black and looks like a bucket a black bucket

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why couldn't Larry walk his dog? Larry doesn't have a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Whats red and bad for your teeth? A brick Courtesy of: http://samsjokeoftheweek.moonfruit.com/

thumb_up thumb_down +23

With the exception of pigs, both pigs and blue jays can fly

thumb_up thumb_down +18

roses are red, violets are blue, my son is gay, f**k my life...

thumb_up thumb_down -23

If you are swimming in a tree how many dogs does it take to crack a duck? The answer is 4 because nothing rhymes with orange

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing, animals can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's black and white and red all over? The dead kitten on the road.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops