What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

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What can a bench do, that a south African man cant? Support a family. (I HOPE THAT WASN'T RACIST)

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Are you related to Yoda? because yoda-licious!!!!

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Why did the girl fall out of the tree? Because she had no arms

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What do you call a person in a morgue? Dead.

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Scott

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What did jesus REALLY say while walking on water? "I really hope I find a nice patch of sand to swim in."

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What is the difference between you and a brick? A brick gets laid.

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why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer left the gate open and chickens typically wonder with no obvious pattern to their movements.

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What's green and frolics in the forest? A flock of cucumbers.

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Punch line.

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Why doesn't God answer prayers? God does answer prayers, but He does not want you to have everything you want just by asking it, He wants you to work for what you have, everything happens for a reason. ... Nah, it's because God does not exist.

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What did the duck with one leg say to the pirate? Woof.

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Why was the Irish Cop happy to see the Mexican family killed in a accident? Because the Lopez family were a family known for generosity and selflessness. It came as no surprise to anyone who knew Steven Lopez and his beloved family that they were all organ donors and not only that but Shelly Lopez, Steven's oldest daughter had blood type O negative (the universal donor). Officer McO'Brianiganly's wife is dying in the hospital in need of a kidney transplant, doctors have given her just weeks to live. Now, thanks to unfortunate events for la familia Lopez., Officer McO'Brianiganly and his wife can live a long happy life together, just as they always imagined.

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my computer crashed because i never quit... out of anything

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What do you call a white man circled by 11 black men? D12

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven stabbed his mother.

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Why little Susie often molested as a child? She was probably a good-looking child.

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Ask me if i am a tree are you a tree? no

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Dad they tell me I am homosexual at school, what does it mean? Ask your boyfriend.

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Dubstep < Music

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Why did the boy want to sleep in the same bed as his parents? His bedroom was on fire.

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whats the difference between kids and jewish people? kids come home from summer camp

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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