Do you know how I know you're gay? 'Cuz your penis tastes like shit.

A young boy walked in on his mom and dad in their room lastnight They were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

Never bring a knife to a sword fight Bring A GIANT FREAKING HIPPOPOTAMUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A Jewish person had a robber in their house. Who broke in? Adolf Hitler

What's black and crawls around on eight legs? An octopus that just inked itself.

Why can't february march Because april may

A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. Numbers have no feelings.

What do you call a pair of owls? Two owls.

a red boat and a blue boat collided all the survivors still have nightmares to this day

I'll be back. Please use the door.

What did the computer say to his girlfriend? I'm going to RAM you tonight.

how do you make a door cry? twist its nob

When did the War of 1812 begin? 1963.

why did the chicken cross the street? ... ... ... oh... come on, ask why!

What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

Why are cats mammals? Because they are descended from primordial mammals in the distant past which are the common ancestors of all mammals.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer-pressure.

what's worse than a joke about the holocaust? the holocaust.

What's black can run really fast and jump really high? A panther

yo momma is so fat that she got diabetes and lost her legs

There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

The jinx machine just stole your money... ... this poem was supposed to be funny

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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