Roses are red, Violets are red, Shit I'm bleeding.

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Why did Charlie eat a baked potato? Because he was hungry.

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the fat lady said that it runs in the family im pretty sure nothing RUNS in her family

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The only difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer is the taste.

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www.hurr-durr.com

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the ocean? Bob

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What's worse than an avalanche? Being raped in prison.

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Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did the girl cross the road? To get run over by a bus.

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What do you call a Muslim driving a plane? You don't drive a plane.

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Whats worse than losing your car keys? Watching your 4 year old son get visciously raped by a 20stone sex hungry pedophile and knowing you cant do anything about it because the sex hungry pedophile is your dad and he is the alpha male of the family so he has full mating rights.

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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Why couldn't the mexican make a taco? He died.

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what's the difference between a blue fridge falling off a cliff and a yellow one? the yellow one isn't falling of a cliff.

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What do you call a horse that likes to box? A horse

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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What did the the water hose say to the man? Nothing, but the sight of water made the man thirsty and he drank to excess and died from dilution of his blood.

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A young girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

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What's big and gray and can't climb a tree? A parking lot.

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Q. What do you call a guy who only drinks lite beer. A. His name.

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Why didn't LeBron James go to college? Because the opportunity to secure millions of dollars in salary straight out of high school was too lucrative for him to pass up.

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Whats the easiest way to solve problems in Haiti? Nuke them.

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Q : WHAT DID THE SMALL SHEEP SAY TO THE BIG SHEEP ? Z : BÆÆÆ

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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