People...

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What do you get when you rape a dead baby filled with jalapeños? A lifetime in prison, and a burning penis.

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Why did the Mexican jump the fence? Because he didn't feel like walking around the house to the side where the gate was to get out of the backyard

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Is your refrigerator running? If so, you are on drugs, and should see help.

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How do five Jews get to America? They get their passports and ride a public plane, safely leaving the airport and getting on a taxi to go to their hotel.

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whats worse than getting hit whit a baseball? getting hit by a train

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Your so fat that you have a 75% chance increase of dying from congenital heart failure.

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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Gestapo.

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Josh Groban, John Mayer, Ben Folds and Nick Cave are at an underground club that specialises in lithuanian folk music and siberian vodka. end of story

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What is pink and fluffy? Pink Fluff.

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neil likes pube toast

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"I want a boyfriend for these cold winter nights" ... Shut up you slut go buy a blanket.

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how do u stop a cat from peeing on the floor? Kill it... haha

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

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i know the best knock knock joke! you start! other person: knock knock me: whos there ........

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Do you work at subway? Because you are giving me a footlong. Yes, please, on white bread, with turkey, ham, white cheddar, and all of the vegetables. Maybe a little bit of sweet onion sauce and sub sauce. Sure, that will be a combo with chips. Thank you very much.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died...

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Why do catholic priests enjoy the company of boys? Because they must remain celibate and cannot have children of their own.

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A man walks into the doctors and he says to the doctor 'my leg hurts when I poke it like this'. The doctor replies 'don't poke it like that then'.

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What is a panda bear? A bear with black and white fur.

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Q: What happens when your name is Gretchen Weiner? A: You can never make "fetch" happen.

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What has nine arms and sucks? An appendage-rich octopus with an inhaling habit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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