A dog walks into a bar, the bartender asks, "why the long face?" The dog replies, "because I am a dog you idiot, my face always looks like this"

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Why did Timmy lose the race? He had no legs

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-What's funnier than a dog with no legs? -The movie Dumb and Dumber, in my opinion.

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What do you call an anti joke that's not funny? Non-existent.

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What's black and blue and red all over? Due to the infinite nature of the universe many items both natural and manufactured could be described in this manner.

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Q: What did the Jew get for Christmas? A: Nothing you dumbass, Jews don't celebrate Christmas.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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What is little,red and its in the corner??? -strawberry in the corner

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a man walked into a bar "ouch"

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Someone told me once, but i had terrible memory so I had them tell me again.

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A forty-year-old man forces a young child to strip down and take a shower. The child screams and cries, but the man persists angily. He then carries the child into his bed. The child pleads, "Help! Mom, make him stop!" The mother yells back, "Just listen to him. He's your father and it's past your bedtime." This is a common night-time routine for parents with their first child

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Why did the postal worker go to work? Because he has to support his family so they do not starve like his dog.

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what do all black jokes start with (look left look right)

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What did the cat say to the dog? Nofin Eejit.

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Which of the following is the biggest? A. 7 B. 17 C. 71 D. Yo mama

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Why couldn't the Nativity have taken place in France? The winters are not warm enough to sleep in an animal cave without getting hypothermia, and there was no census taking place at the time.

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Q:Why are all of the vampires extinct? A:AIDS is a serious disease. You shouldn't joke about it.

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What is the difference between you and Chuck Norris? You're reading this and he's probably doing something productive.

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Humpdy dumpty sat on a wall and enjoyed his day off

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What the man from the arapahoe tribe say to the mexican who was living in a trash bag? You should try a hotel room. They comfortably sleep 67-493 mexicans.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For no specific reason, Chickens don't think much.

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Who didn't let the gorilla into the ballet? The people who were in charge of that decision.

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What did the Pedophile say to the small girl? I have served my sentence and been successfully rehabilitated. Please continue playing out in public without fear of being sexually assaulted.

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Roses are gold Violets are blue I am color blind

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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