what did the white singer say to the black rapper? I would like to do a song with you seeing as how we have 2 separate audience types i believe this would prove the song to be successful

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Your Mom's sooo fat that when she jumps into a pool her splash attack does damage :P

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Yo mamma so fat We are all seriously concerned for her health

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What did boy with now arms and no legs get for christmas A pogo-stick

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Roses are OK, Violets do the trick, C'mon and let me whip out my Dick.

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure

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What's red and bad for your teeth A brick

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A man with a PhD walks up to a college student and jokingly says "Hey dude, what did the hat say to the other hat?" The student replies "My name is Joe and a hat does not have a mouth, therefore it cannot speak." The student is then unimpressed on how uneducated the man is, also worring about how the man was able to receive a PhD.

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Yor Mama is soooooooooooo fat, when she looked in da mirror... it cracked.

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What do tomatoes, apples, oranges, lemons, and peaches have in common? They are all fruits.

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Roses are cars, violets are rude, this poem makes no sense, neither do you

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Today is May 18 2016.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

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What do you have when you take the gun, badge and uniform away from a cop? A man in his underwear.

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A bald man walks out a bar crying Prostate cancer

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3 women are eating popsicles, one is biting, one is licking, and one is sucking, which is married? The one with the wedding ring.

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What do you say to a black man in the morning? Good morning

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What's funny about a dying dog? Nothing.

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Why did the portuguese fisherman take out a $20,000 loan with a reknown loan shark at exorbitant interest rates? He needed to buy a kidney on the black market for his drug addicted daughter who had also destroyed his credit score meaning he coudln't get a loan from the usual credit facilities such as banks and credit unions.

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Breast cancer.

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What's big and long? My dick.

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if x marks the spot, what does y do? y does the laundry.

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bar man a walks a into...DYSLEXIA IS NOT FUNNY.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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