How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

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roses are red, violets are blue, no one cares, your adopted.

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A man driving through a thunderstorm said, "look, it's rain, dear." His wife, being a reindeer, took offense to that statement.

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What do you call the Doctor who graduated at the bottom of his class? Doctor.

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Hahahahaha your nan had HIV and died.lol

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Okay, after this one then...

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Why did the boy not wake up on time for school? He was fucking dead.

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when u cant say fuck say firetruck because it starts with f and it ends with uck ?firetruck?

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How do you kill a blonde? By inactivating major functions in the body, for example cutting off the blood supply to the brain.

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What do Elephants never forget? 9/11

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What is the best way to put out a fire? Stop, drop and have an 0rgy.

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How come Tommy isn't allowed to sing anymore? Because he has a punctured artery, collapsed lung, fractured ribcage, and a failed organ...

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Your Momma is so ugly, she got plastic surgery.

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A Duck, a Mexican guy and Helen Keller walk into a bar. The bartender asks "What do each of you want?" The duck doesn't respond because is is a duck. The Mexican guy doesn't respond because he doesn't know English that well. Helen Keller does't respond because she is dead.

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how much dub would a dubstep step if a dubstep could step dub? purple

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-Knock, Knock -Who's there? -Carl -Carl wh-wait... carl...CARL OH MY GOD!!!! WE ALL THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD ,CARL!!!! Where have you been? Oh my god... Mom's DEAD! When we all thought you were dead she hung herself! IT'S YOUR FAULT SHE'S DEAD, CARL! YOUR FAULT!!!!!! YOU ARE AN UNGRATEFUL PIECE OF SHIT CARL! YOU KNOW THAT? I hope you burn in hell.

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Why are black people good at basketball? Because they train hard and practice daily.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r jerks n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

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A black man walks into an all white bar. He was escorted out, ten months later he died of a heart attack

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Where did Jonathan go when the bombs hit? Everywhere.

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How many Jews can you fit in to a car? Well depending on the car 2-8

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other... Uh oh. A car just ran it over.

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Why doesnt Santa deliver presents to black children Because santa doesnt exist

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What do you call a kid with no arms annd legs? Names

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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