what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? we will never know he never opened it

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Roses are red, Violets are brown, F*** who's had a shit in my garden.

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Whats invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit farts

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tight butthole 4 lyfe.

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why did the kid get home from school early cause he was home from school..

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Korean man, "Hi, I'm the President of North Korea!" Man, "Oh wow! What's your name?" Korean man, "Kim."

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How does a black man put puzzles together? First, he locates the four corners. Next, he begins filling in the sides. Finally, he uses the picture on the box to fill in the center. It can be a very tedious process if he is not paying attention.

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What do a bike and a human have in common they are both objects

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What do you get when you cross 3 men and a chainsaw? Answer: 2 and a half men

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Why did the boy sharpen his pencil it was dull

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what did the chicken say to the other chicken? nothing, they dont talk.

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Yo mama's so ugly, she has difficulty attracting a partner.

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Q. why did the blonde stare at the orange juice carton? A. it said concentrate.

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A ghost walks into a bar. Nobody sees it because it is a supernatural entity.

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What did the jacket say to the girl? Zip me up wait why am I talking

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A horse walks into a bar. Just kidding, it's a panda.

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why was the boy lonely? his whole family died in a plane crash

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah

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Mr. Wonder, optimism is seeing the glass as half full, pessimism as seeing the glass half empty, and realism as not seeing the glass at all.

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Why did the little boy stick a fork in the electrical socket? Because he wanted to escape his abusive stepfather

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Balls

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why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHH!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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