Do Your Homework: Mum - Well Done Dad - Well Done Get An Award At School: Mum - Well Done Dad - Well Done Figure How To Adjust The Zoom On Your Computer: Mum & Dad - WOW HOW DO YOU KNOW SO MUCH, YOU'RE SO CLEVER, WHO TAUGHT YOU THIS?! Typical ...

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man is shipwrecked on a desert island. One day, he finds an old lamp. When he rubs it, a genie appears. The genie says, "You have freed me. As a reward, I will grant you three wishes." The man smacks himself in the face and mutters, "Oh god, I'm seeing genies now. I must be delirious from lack of food and water." Several hours later, he dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you get if you cross a centipede with a millipede? I don't know but it sure has a lot of legs

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why did suzy get hit by the bus because she got dumped into the road and she had no legs

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the baby die? Because he was shot in the hea repeatedly

thumb_up thumb_down +14

CRY

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What Sound does a baby make in a blender? I don't know I'm to busy masturbating to it

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did the sad orphan with liver cancer get for Christmas? Pictures of dead babies to put things in perspective.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names! *ba dum chzz*

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A black man is trapped inside a bottle, how does he get out? He doesn't it is simply impossible for a human to get trapped inside a bottle.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

When life gives you lemons Unless it gives you sugar, water, and a cup your lemonade will suck

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the lion say the the zebra? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak and therefore could not make conversation with said zebra, hunted it down, killed it, and shared it with his pride of 27.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's black, white, and red all over? A intro of darkness, then redness then whiteness

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's the most annoying thing in the world? Yourself. (Your friends are saying it too, behind your back)

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender asks why the long face. The guy responds because cancer is a horrible disease. Oh yah did I mention the guy has cancer? $

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why do Chinese people have flat faces? Air bags.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why did the lady take anti depressants? because she was depressed

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Doesn't matter get in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock Knock Come in Come in who? Come in...wait what?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Two drunk men were in a bar fight, they smashed beer bottles on each others heads and walked away because it hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Mary- Hey Dallas, do you have a suitcase? Dallas- Yeah, why? Mary- I need a suitcase

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops