A man walks into a bar. Because he's had a rough day, he asks the barender for a drink. Then another... Then another... (continued) The man walks out of the bar and goes to his car. He starts to drive back to his house. He wobbly makes turns and closes his eyes every 5 seconds or so. He also talks to his boss on his phone for the majority of the ride. Surprisingly enough, he makes it home safely and doesn't harm anyone else despite the large amount he had to drink. He stumbles into his apartment and goes up to his room. He slumps down onto his bed on his back very heavily, causing the room to shake a bit. He opens his eyes, only to find his glass shandelier falling from directly above his face. His body was found by his girlfriend the next morning. I guess there's no real moral to the story then... Maybe it's: You can drink and drive, but don't put a shandelier directly above your bed... I guess? Wow. What are the odds?

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What's that on my back? Tell me it's your phone ! Its my phone.

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Why did the nerd cross the road?? BAZINGA!!!! xD

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what does a granny look best in? 1950

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, this is an overused joke on a kid's cartoon. Thank me later.

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I got 99 problems but the ability to count ain't one

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Q. What did the atheist ask the pregnant woman? A. You gonna eat that?

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knock knock whos there? jew jew who ? jew son o a b**** ? (aimed at ight wing racist jews)

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How do you get Sally of the swing? Throw a clown at her.

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A jewish man walks into a bar because he was thirsty.

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"life is like a box of chocolates", except you cant eat life and hocolate doesnt rain on you.

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Why did the man eat his wife? He was a cannibal

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Whats the difference between Lady Gaga and Justin Bieber? Lady Gaga has a penis.

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Why did John get hard? He froze to death

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Tom and Phill are eating ice cream Tom challenges Phill to a contest to see who can eat their ice cream in one bite Tom finishes his in two bites Phil in one Then he looks like he got a brain freeze Tom notices and says "You idiot: you got brain freeze!" Phill turns around and says "No, I have a brain tumor."

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One day I walked into my backyard I saw a squirrel Then I was like oh hey squirrel

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What's worst then the holocaust, titanit and 9-11 4 bee stings.

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what did the mushroom say to the other mushroom? nothing, mushrooms can't talk

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What did the white man hand to the mexican? His college degree because the mexican had completed all four years of college with a 4.0 GPA.

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how makes licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? depends on how determined you are to find out

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I like my coffee like I like my women..... Without Hepatitis.

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Why was Timmy crying? Because he got raped in a van

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How do women learn to drive? Drivers ED.

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What would Jesus do? Something that would in getting nailed to a piece of wood.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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