A black man walks into a bar. "Whoops, that's not the Weed shop!"

thumb_up thumb_down -37

A black man and a mexican are in a car. Whos driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had come upon them and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful time. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was the homeless man homeless? He lost his house in a terrible house fire, stretching throughout his apartment building, losing his much beloved wife and kids in the horrific accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A: Knock Knock B: (No Reply) Nobody is home and the man trying to get in will come back later and try again.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A duck and a chicken walk into a bar. How improbable.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is big, green, fuzzy, and would kill you if it fell on you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's worse than finding a holocost in your apple. A truck full of dead babies then what's worse than finding a truck full of dead babies in your apple. Braving to pich fork them out

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What does Santa get for Christmas? A shitload of work to do.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man walking on a beach looks into the surf and sees a beautiful oil lamp floating to shore. Wondering who in the heck uses oil lamps anymore, he picks it up, sees a bit of crust on the side, and rubs it clean. Just then a burst of smoke comes out of the lamp, and a genie floats out and stands before the man. "Oh master, thank you for releasing me from the lamp. In thanks, I grant to you one wish. Anything you ask for, it will be true," said the genie. "One wish? What happened to three," asked the man. "Dude, don't push it. We're in a recession. So what's your wish?" "OK. OK. I ... I... I WISH I WAS RICH!" screamed the man. The genie folded his arms, blinked twice, scratched his nose, nodded his head, and spun in a circle twice. "And it is SO!" he cried out. The man looked at himself, looked at the genie, but nothing seemed to have changed. "WTF, genie. Am I rich?" The genie replied, "Well no. You said, 'I wish I was rich.' I made you rich... ten years ago. You were rich. Now you're not. You used the indicative mood 'was.' If you wanted it to become true now in the present, you should have used the subjunctive mood 'were.'"

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Roses are red violets are blue. A face like yours belongs in the zoo! But don't you worry I'll be there too! But not in the Ill be laughing at you

thumb_up thumb_down -16

numbers just make the funniest antijokes

thumb_up thumb_down +3

You're mother is so fat the doctors say she has a serious obesity problem and will most likely have to go on cholesterol pills and begin regulating her diet properly.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Gay marriage is freaking gay.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Boxing on Boxing Day

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Lol XD,now that is bad ass of you to say that, what about her, does she get to go around too?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why do black people eat so much fried chicken? Because it's delicious!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

ss sa asd g dg asd g asd g sdg s dg sad g ads g s dg sad g sadg as dg as dg sdg ds gs dg sdg sd g sdg sd g sdg ds gsd g ds g sdg sd g sdg sd g sdg as sdg know i'm sayin?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

3 people walk into a bar. They order the same drinks. Upon receiving these drinks, they all promptly left. This is not a funny joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I didn't know that guy did crossfit

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What comes after 23? 24.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did Heinrich Himmler say to the chicken? I'll take that liver thanks.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the goose say to the other goose? Honk!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? A healthy, balanced diet consisting of all food groups, unless they are vegetarian or vegan, hence they will not consume any meats or animal products.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What does the fox say? "It's called a hustle, sweetheart."

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops