Want to hear the best joke? Your life :,( i think i hate you?

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Whats worse than ten babies stapled to a tree? One baby stapled to ten trees.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Shut up.

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A good way to remember which one is Beavis and which one is Butthead is to remember the acronym "Baby Blues." B in baby stands for Beavis, and b in blues stands for Butthead. You're welcome.

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Did you know that there is a species of rodent capable of jumping higher than an average three-story building? This is due to its muscular hind legs and the fact that the average three-story building cannot jump.

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What does a duck have in common? The further it flies the more.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had alopecia.

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What's brown and sits in the woods? Winnie's poo

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What do you get when you cross a leopard with a camel? Sacked from the zoo.

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How does a man with no arms ride a bicycle? He can't, he loses control and falls over, getting a few scrapes and bruises.

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Why did jack fall off a cliff? Coz the hill was on a cliff.

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What's wet and pink? Bubblegum!

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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What do you call a black man eating fried chicken? By his name, which could be John, considering the popularity of said name.

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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What did Santa say when he came to drop off your toys? Nothing. Santa doesn't exist.

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Chuck Norris tried to return some jeans to Target and when they didn't give him his money he kickeed them in the face.

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A girl and a boy where sitting on a couch together. The boy told the girl politly that she hass gained a significant amount of weight and should lose it. She then pulled out a candy bar in her back pocket and shoved it down his throat, to which he suffocated, because she was on her period when to comment was made.

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What does a baby sound like being cooked in the microwave. I don't know I was to busy masterbating.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a straight line? Because he has Parkinson's disease.

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What did the gay man receive for christmas? AIDS

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ask me if im a house are you a house? no

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*spongebob voice* 25

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what is the difference between a Ferrari and a bucket of dead babies......... I dont have a Ferrari in my garage

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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