jesus can walk on water but chuck norris can swim through land

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Man is even more eager to copulate than a donkey – his purse is what restrains him

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb? Only one and it is politically incorrect to assume otherwise.

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What do you call it when you almost win? You lose.

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why did one crayon give another crayon the silent treatment? because they are crayons, unable to speak

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Anti jokes.

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CAS

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My friends a Jehovahs Witness. He got all pissed at me because he tried to tell me a knock knock joke and I ignored him.......i totally stole this joke lol.

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A mother and father heard their young son sobbing in his room, so they ran upstairs to see what the problem was. When they got to his room, they found the older son was dead and hanging from the ceiling. And the younger son was actually laughing, not crying.

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How do you have gay sex? I don't know ask Jordan Braun

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What did the amputee get for chritmas? A bicycle

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Hearing this joke again.

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Wuy are Kenyans so fast? Because due to variations in evolution, people from that part of the world have a better muscle build to run at higher speeds than equally trained athletes from other parts of the world.

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want to hear a dirty joke tommy fell in the mud a clean joke he took a bath with bubbles bubbles was his neighbor

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what did the doctor say to the wery fat man? you have diabetes

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how do you make my dad say oww? throw a baseball bat at him.

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's the police, mam. We need to speak to you about your son Robert. It's the police, mam. We need to speak to you about your son Robert who? Mam, he was in an accident. Could you open the door please?

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Why did Billy fall off the swings? Because he had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Billy.

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knock knock whos there? orange orange who? orange you pissed off your wifes taking in the ass from another guy right now?

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What's small, black,and crispy? A baby after an apartment fire

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Your mom is so fat she wears large clothes

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Hey, Max!!

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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