How do you keep children off your lawn? Touch them.

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Do you know what's funnier than 24? 25

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a woman asked her husband, why havent you been talking to me? the man answers, you are having an affair so i ignored you and only talked to the girl im cheating on you with. you should know your a horrible person

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What's black without keys. A keyboard after you hit it with a shovel.

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varför skriver jag på svenska jag vet inte

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Why did the old lady cross the road? Why not.

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How many pastry chefs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. It's a fairly simple job.

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What did the muslim get for christmas? Nothing.

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How do you get a black kid to sleep? A cup of warm milk and maybe a lulluby should do it.

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What do you call a 5 year old with no friends? A sandy hook survivor

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Why was the little girl crying? She got raped by a giant scorpion.

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3 blind mice walk into a bar. they have no idea of their surroundings and are quickly crushed to death.

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What did modern scientists say to Einstein? Neurtinos travel faster than the speed of light! :)

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What's sad about a truck passing behind a duck? A: Behind the Duck were the Ducklings.

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selena gomez & justin beiber go in space. selena says im hotter than the sun. the way she knows this information is that she is near the sun at this time justin beiber has already drifted of in space.

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yo mama's so fat, her medical weight chart is much steeper than those of most women her age

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An englishman, an irishman amd a scotsman were walking down the street. What a fine example of unionism

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how do u wake kesha up? Answer:set her alarm clock to a reasonable time

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whts worse than finding a worm in your apple? butt sex with the devil

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Why is Michael J. Fox unable to build domino chains? He only has one domino.

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Knock knock, Who's there? Justin Bieber, LEAVE!

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Q: What's the best way to eat lasagna A: With a fork, although a spoon is a fine substitute

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What did Hellen Keller say when she drove up to the stop sign? Nothing, she doesn't drive.

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why do sausage rolls taste of sausage and not roll? Seriously -_- what?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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