What's wrong with the axe murderer that lives down the street?? Nothing.

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Why didn't the monkey cross the road? He saw the chicken get run over.

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Who needs god when coffee is cheaper

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What do you get when you put a baby in a blender New Doritos Dip

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Why doesnt snow like Asians? Snow is a form of precipitation within the Earth's atmosphere in the form of crystalline water ice, consisting of a multitude of snowflakes that fall from clouds. Since snow is composed of small ice particles, it is a granular material. It has an open and therefore soft structure, unless packed by external pressure. Snowflakes come in a variety of sizes and shapes. Types which fall in the form of a ball due to melting and refreezing, rather than a flake, are known as graupel, ice pellets or snow grains. Therefore since snow is unhuman they are then thus incapable of emotions because they lack any vitals organs.

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(insert Anti-Joke here)

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Roses are red, violets are blue. You're dog is dead. And so is your family.

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Two muffins were in a microwave. One muffin said, 'It's getting hot in here." What did the other muffin say? Nothing, muffins can't talk.

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Q: What is black, white and red all over? A: Interracial sex during the time which the bible has decreed as abhoration.

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What's the hardest part about being a pedophile? Fitting in.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's There?" "Sara" "Come in, we will have a cup of coffee in the good company of each other."

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why didn't the food in your microwave warm up ? because you didn't press start.

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what's a self-driving car 10 years from now? probably just "a car".

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I was bangin this girl and she kept yelling the wrong name. Who's raape?

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What did the 11 year old boy get for christmas? A wet dream

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Q. What's brown and sticky? A. A stick.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The electrician, I'm here to fix your door bell.

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The nurse at a hospital came out of the delivery room and chucked the baby down the hall to the father. The dad starts crying and the nurse starts laughing and said, "It's ok, it was already dead."

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A blonde, a brunette, and a ginger all die in a car accident. Their souls all go to heaven. Nevermind, only the blonde, and brunette's souls went to heaven, since everybody knows, gingers don't have souls.

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What do men and women have in common? They're both respected members of society, besides women.

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Q: How do you fit 100 Jews in a car? A: 2 in the front, 3 in the back and 95 in the ash tray.

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Were both lawyers!

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mooooh im a cow

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Roses and red, Violets are blue, This type of poem, Must always rhyme.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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