What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why isnt there any mexicans on star trek? Because even in the future they dont work.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I'm a champion. I do what I want.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A man walks into a doctors office and waits for his turn. After his name was called he walked up to the doctor and told him that he kept having hallucinations. The doctor prescribed an antibiotic to help with the mans addiction to LSD.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's the difference between a black man and a bench. The bucket.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was it sad for black guys drove off a cliff? There two more seats

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: Why did the little girl upset? A: Because she was part of the human centipede

thumb_up thumb_down +35

"We wear pink on Wednesdays"" -Mean Girls, 2004

thumb_up thumb_down -32

whats red and green and has 8 wheels. a stick

thumb_up thumb_down -2

You know what's better than a taco? A better taco.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what did the pregnant mexiCAN woMAN say while she was giving birth? A LOT of curse words

thumb_up thumb_down +53

What's big, white and can't climb a tree? A refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

So there we were, climbing Mount Kjerag and we take a break. So I decided to tell you a joke. "Isn't this nice, just hanging around? See it's funny because we're suspended over 1000 metres in the air by our harnesses, except that you're not because I cut yours and now you're falling and you're gonna die." But I had done all that before I told you the joke so you didn't hear me and now I'll have to cut my harness and try to catch up to you so I can repeat myself. Great job, ya prick.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's 1+1? Window! Just kidding it's 2.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call a burger made from children with Aspbergers? Cannibalism

thumb_up thumb_down -7

The French guy and the Italian guy got in the bar at the same time, but they didn't talk as they didn't know each other.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A teacher tells one of her students, "If I say 'I am beautiful', which tense is that?" The student tells her, "Didn't your mother ever tell you that lying is bad?"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What happens when you mix a platinum blond with a black kid? A young african-american child with un-naturally died hair.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the kid lose his mom? She was shot.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why did the plumber start to cry? his family died

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Hey dude, wanna come with me!!!! Sure, where? ON YOUR FACE!!!!!! -_- ........ok sure why not

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a rich black person? A: Oprah

thumb_up thumb_down +6

-What's the difference between a frog? - it jumps higher.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

why did the girl scream when she got her tooth pulled? Because it hurt her.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops