A man walks into a bar and says "Hi everybody, it's me!" So everybody turns round. But it wasn't him.

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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roses are red , violets are blue i love bernard he loves me too if you take him from my place i'll smash my fist in your face.

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Knock Knock .....................Oh it was just the TV

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Why did the boy jump in the van? Because his parents had just been in a terrible car accident.... There where 2 fatalities.

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How do you make an idiot in suspense?

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a grasshopper walks into a bar the bartender says hey we have a drink named after you the grasshopper says what dave?

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What did the general say before the soldiers got in the tank? Get in the tank

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Why did the African cross the road? Because he was searching for his family after his village was massacred by rebel soldiers.

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What do you call a man who's a gynecologist, painter and respected martial arts champion? Talented.

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Knock knock Who's there Bill Bill who? Bill Thompson

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Once there was an egg by the name of Steve. His name was Steve the Egg.

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Want to hear a scary story?' I was droppin a two ball and the monster walked in

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Whats the difference between the floor and the ceiling? One of them is higher!

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As he stood in her front yard with a boombox in the pouring rain, she leaned her head out the window with a smile and he was electrocuted.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 took 9 behind an alley and raped her.

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Do you want to hear a shit joke? Stuart.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, Oh damn I'm blind.

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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? A gameboy

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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What's long, hard, and black, and goes into wet things? A submarine.

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A man shouts a women crossing the road "Oi, get your rat out love!" So she did, and it savaged his face.

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Why do ducks fly south for the winter? because its to far to waddle

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What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? A bike

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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