A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

A Muslim walks into a public library. 32 people killed in the explosion.

Ask me if im a truck. Are you a truck? Yes.

What did I wake upto this morning that was white , cold and 2 inches deep? My tiny flaccid penis.

Your Mum's so fat, she's going to die.

Why did the boy scream? Because his girlfriend poked him in the butthole, which he was not expecting. Thus surprising him.

Knock Knock CUM IN!

Why did the african man wear no clothes? Because he liked being naked.

whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

Why are all the tech support people from India? That's where the majority of call centers are located.

What is a cow's favorite drink? Well, I could be wrong and this is just my opinion, but I do not believe that animals experience feelings and, in corollary, favoritism towards anything, particularly regarding basic survival needs, such as hydration.

What do you call a black flying an airplane? A pilot you racist bastard.

What is annoying and orange? An annoying orange.

why did bob fall off the swing Because he got hit by a microwave

Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes You should probably get yourself checked.

Ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass...! I said "ass" a lot, sorry for the language

Why cant stevie wonder see? He is blind

Knock knock whos there? Its me, your doorbell is obviously broken Okay, hold on a sec. Please hurry up, its really cold I cant seem to find my key Its probably on the coffeetable, where you always keep it. No, its not there Check the floor underneith Oh, right, there it is.

What's red and smells like blood? Blood.

What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong WALKS on the moon. Michael Jackson rapes little boys

Your face

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was commiting suicide

Why did the Black guy work at KFC? To provide money for his struggling family.

whats the meaning of stonehenge? ask the ones that built it!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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