You ask a German how long it takes to go from Berlin to Amsterdam. He replies, ''About four hours by tank."

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"What would Jesus do?" "Form a religion, get nailed to a cross, and become a martyr to millions."

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"My CiOCK is bigger!" "No! My CiOCK is bigger!": Two gamec.ock owners arguing over who has a bigger DiICK.

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A tree walks into a bar. But it is a dead tree so it actually didn't

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You just glass her.

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Why'd the cat have one eye? It got kicked by a goat.

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A:how many notzies dose it change a light bulb B:none they made the jewish do it. :(

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What do you call a blind person? Mack Despard

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Why did the black guy get arrested? Homicide.

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why was little johnny laughing all day cactus

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Who is Jim Wonderbread? A whorrible person

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Knock knock Who's there Done Done who? Done with waiting out here, let me in you dick!

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How many black guys does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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What did Mel Gibson say to his wife? I apologise for my rude behaviour and intolorable cursing.

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How do you stop a pedophile from following you? Throw a fridge at him

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Q: what do you call a bunch of dead accountants? A: the holacost.

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How many police officers does it take to secure 3 hooded black men? However many police are on duty.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? No-one No-one who? .......

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what's worse than the Holocaust. Finding two worms in your apple.

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Magic! Well not really, you see, people that are stressed have the tendency to remain far longer into the state of hypnosis because their body conciously and subconciously (I am typoing it, but I cant bother to type it correctly fuck it) seek out the state of peace that hypnosis gives more often. Anyway, I know another thing that helps relieve stress, cough... Now, did you know that if you push your nose upwards slightly, you will feel a finger between your legs? its because nerve endings are connected that way, give it a go.

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It's April Fool's Day and a little boy runs up to his mom. "Daddy hung himself! He's in the attic!" The mom runs up to the attic, but the dad's not there. The boy looks at his mom and says, "April fools! He's in the basement!"

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a duck walks in to a Chinese restaurant and the cut his head off

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What was the woman doing in the kitchen? Investigating a murder..

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Why is it unpleasant to eat a meal with lots of basketball players? Because they will be focussing entirely on discussing tactics (especially if there is an upcoming game), and therefore will probably not be displaying good manners or making polite mealtime conversation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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