Yo' mama's so fat she has type 2 diabetes.

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No, we got to speak now, or you know, never.

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In soviet russia...the abundance of natural oils and rich agricultural land provide it with a thriving economy

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in an oven.

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How many Frenchmen does it take to surrender? Probably just one.

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Wood is brown...... Grass is green...... Now what color are roses?

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Knock knock Who's there? Illiteracy.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What happens when two elephants go out in the rain? They get wet.

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Once upon a time there were three aliens. The first alien landed in a school,The second alien landed in a market, and the third alien landed in a preschool. When the first one landed the teacher asked the students who wants to go to the computer lab,all the students said me! me! me! and the alien learned me! me! me! When the second one landed the businessman asked him what he wanted, and he saw a toy gun and it talks and the gun said gun! gun! gun! and the alien learned it and said gun! gun! gun! Then when the third alien landed one preschooler stole another preschoolers lollipop then he said "He stole my lollipop"! And the alien learned it and said "he stole my lollipop!" Then someone got murdered and the three aliens went there and the murderer detective asked "Who killed that man!" And the first alien said me! Me! Me! "What did you kill him with!" Then the second alien said gun! gun! gun! "Why'd you kill him!" Then the third alien said "He stole my lollipop!" And that's it folks! ????????????????????????????????

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Why did the man look in the mirror? To see his reflection.

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A man walked into a bar. He ended up in the hospital being treated for a concussion.

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Q: What's the biggest lie ever? A: Saying you read the Terms of Service

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Why was the asian boy made fun of in the locker room? Because of the nipple piercing he had.

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A:Will you be my valentine? B:No

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What does Ke$ha feel like when getting up in the morning? Shit because she has a nasty hangover.

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If you're American outside of the bathroom, then what are you inside the bathroom? An American inside of a bathroom.

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teacher: say ur alphabet kid: abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwuxyz kid:wheres the pee teacher:half way down my leg

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Have you ever noticed that when geese fly in a V, one side is long than the other? Do you know why that is? There are more geese on that side

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What did the zebra say to the giraffe? Nothing, they can't talk dipshit.

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I'm getting tired of nazi jokes. ANNE FRANKly I'm quite offended

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A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

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what's purple and tastes like a grape? a grape.

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Person 1 What's good? Person 2 Your mom's love making

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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