Why couldn't the color blind orphan find his apple? Because he was also blind.

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Why don't woman wear watches? Because there is a clock on the stove!

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How do you wake up lady gaga? poke her face.

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What do airplanes and grapes have in common? They both have wings, except a grape doesn't.

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whats purple and not a rapist barney, I lied about the rapist part

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Sometimes, people ask me, "Do you always have to be so obnoxious?" And to that I reply, "I don't always, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis." Stay thirsty, my friends.

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Q: What do you call a plane with no wings? A: An unfinished plane.

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How do you spell Mississippi with out an i? You can't because removing an i from the word Mississippi would cause it to be spelled incorrectly.

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What would Hellen Keller say to Obama? Nothing she can't speak.

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what is green and smells bad? an orange dolphin that poops out rainbows.

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ASUS Live Update has stopped working.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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A man walks into a bar, and says "ow."

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Gay people: "Quit calling Justin Bieber gay, we don't want him either."

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What's long and sexy? The Eiffel Tower

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Your mumma's so fat she is fat

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How old is george washington? anyway thats not the point your pregnant

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everyone dislike this

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? IT WAS DEAD.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Nerve endings. Now, lets say we make that sensation of a finger down there vibrate, as your nose (not not your lower parts no no) become twenty times as sensitive, now you are just rubbing your nose right? Try not rubbing it completely off now...

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What did the african american ninja say to the jewish bartender? Can I have a beer?

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How many Norwegians does it take to change a light bulb? Only one. But all the replacements are high-tolerance, long-life and non-dimmable.

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How high is the grass in Germany? Approximately the same height as the grass in America.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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