A man walks into the doctor's office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he felt the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies,"You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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Why did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Because you touch yourself at night

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Why do I hate Jews? - Because they use to much space in the oven.

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Knock knock Who's this? Your neighbor Yes can I help you? Hi, I'm new around here, can you help me find the closest gas station? Turn right over there pass 2 traffic lights it will be on your left Okay, thank you You're welcome

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Deja moo: The feeling you've heard this bull before.

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a guys was walking down the street in Queens. a attractive young woman walked by. He was interested in here so he said nice things and they ended up going on a date. She had a big butt.

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What is 0+0? 0, I am not dumb

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Golf.

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What do Gay horses eat? Cheese.

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Why were the Dinosaurs wiped out? Porridge.

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what has wheels and is red. A heart, i lied about the wheels.

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Something other than a Human Being walks into a bar. The bartender then makes a rational decision about how to handle the situation.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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How do you stop a bus? You press the brake pedal, causing the brake pads to squeeze the tires. Which will slow the momentum of the bus to the point of stopping.

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Subject A: Knock Knock! Subject B: *silence* Subsequently, Subject A dejectedly walks home and hangs himself.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I slipped you some roofies You'll be out in a few

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A man was walking through the woods when he comes across a little girl crying by a lake. "What is the matter little girl?" he asked. "My cat fell in the lake ... and it couldn't swim ... so my father jumped in as well and drowned too," she cried," Sad, the man sighed, pulled down his pants and said, "Well I guess today's just not your day,"

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Why doesn't a ducks quack echo? Actually, it does, but the echo is imperceptible to human ears.

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In a galaxy far, far, away.... There were quasars, stars, and various sized meteors.

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A straight guy, a straight girl and a bisexual guy walk into a bar. The bisexual guy is twice as likely to find a partner from a purely statistical point of view.

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what do you call a guy called Bill? Bill

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How do you stop a baby from crying? You hit it with an axe.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had a raging hard-on and was leering at him.

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If John has 32 candy bars and he eats 28, whAt does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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