How are Steve Jobs and The iPhone the same? They got progressively thinner over time.

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Helen Keller went to town riding on a pony she stuck a feather in her hat and called it uuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

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Why did you loose the basketball game? Because they scored more points than us.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

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When Josh moran was born he was thrown up in the air three times and was caught twice.

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A: Knock knock. B: <>

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What does 1+1 equal? 2

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whats black white and read all over a zebra bleeding to death because a zombie just attacked it and then it attackeed the zombie

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How did the rabbi die? It didnt it lived through the shooting

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for his birthday? A bike

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? A: Drowning.

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How do you stop your golf ball from hitting a goose? You dont.

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Q: If Hitler spots a jew, what will he do? A: You suck at history dude, Hitler is dead! Moral: What? You did not get the daily news?

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Q: What did the clown say when he got in a car accident? A: Nothing. He died.

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How many anti-joke fans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Or two if it's a really high bulb and you need a second person to hold the ladder for safety.

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Why was the black man afraid of the chainsaw? Because its a potentially dangerous weapon

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A man walks into a bar with a dog. The bartender says that there are no dogs allowed, but the man says that he is blind. So the man sits down with his dog and asks for a drink. The bartender decided to check to see if he was really blind, so he says, " Hey, do you know what time it is?" The blind man replies, "7 o'clock," The bartender says, "Ha! You said you were blind! Get out of..." but was interrupted by the man, who promptly said, "No, I'm deaf," and left.

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Whats as flat as a pancake and alive Ya nan being flattened by a truck on the motorway

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What's black and white and red all over? And old fashioned television painted red.

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Debating on internet is like competing in the paralympics, even if you win you're still retarded

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What is the difference between a motorcycle and a football? 42, because ice cream has no bones.

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Three construction workers are sitting on a beam high in the air, getting ready to eat their lunch. "Hey!" someone shouts. "Get down from there! That's a safety violation!" So they do, and instead they eat their lunch on the ground.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was really frogger in disguise

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The moment where Perfect Cell returns declaring he has become "even more perfect" There is no level above perfect :P But sure Cell, strive to improve further on your "perfection", oh he is dead nevermind. Still my favorite character, narcissist, with a touch of class, and a sadistic personality, what more can you wish for?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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