COME HERE, POTTER!!!! NOW!!! Instead of agreeing to approach the source of the rather hostile summoning, Potter decided to sit down and eat a healthy vegetarian lunch of sausages and chips.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He then proceeds to ask his wife not to leave her clothing around the house.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

What do you do when you walk downstairs and see your TV floating? Call Ghostbusters.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why do some people of all races enjoy American foods? Because they can be extreamly delishus and satisfying to eat. Why dont some people of all races enjoy American foods? Because then we would all be too big to fit on earth.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Knock Knock. Who'se there? It's Dave. Dave who? Um, you invited me over here. Open the damn door.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

hey i just met you and this is crazy but so

thumb_up thumb_down -39

A man is walking down the street in Chicago. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks him, "Excuse me sir, how do I get to Carnegie Hall?", at which the man on the street said, "Go straight here, turn onto Birch, follow that to the second stop light, then turn left on Main, big complex, can't miss it." "Thank you!"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

If a hen lays an egg in the middle of a roof, which way would it fall? To the east, as there was a brisk wind in that direction.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's the difference between a bench and a Mexican? The bench can support a family.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why don't sharks attack lawyers? Professional Courtesy

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why shouldn't gingers smoke before they are 3? Because they have souls and still abide by the same rules!........................................................................................................................................ If you laughed at that you either don't like gingers or should be shot. And by the way... Why did Snape kill Dumbledore? Because he had to.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what has 4 legs three eyes and a horn? a:yo mama

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the Asian woman drive 20mph on the highway? There was a deadly car accident with many fatalities.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call a fish with no eyes? A blind fish, who had a horrible accident with a fishing hook

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the frog die? Because I stapled it onto a boy's face.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why didnt the vampire have a reflection? You have to be real to have a reflexion

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette have a contest to see who can get the most likes on their profile pictures. They are all attention-whores.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How do you teach a black guy to swim? You sign him up for swimming lessons.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call someone who is unwilfully forced into a life of emotional abuse and domestic violence? My daughter.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the psychopath say to the firefighter? Can you lend me a few bucks? My clothes are dirty and I need to go to the launromat.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the crazy asian man say just before he died? He didn't say anything- he was in an 18 month long coma due to a brain stem stroke. He left behind a wife, a 3 year old daughter and a newborn son.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What did the foreigners do to pass time? They blew up the twin towers.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Q. What's a pirate's favorite type of movie? A. It depends on the individual pirate, although most modern-day pirates are from third world countries like Somalia and so are too poor to be able to watch many movies. Classical pirates like those depicted in Treasure Island or Pirates of the Carribean are, of course, from a period of history before movies had been invented, so couldn't possibly have had a favorite.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops