There once was a man from Nantucket He decided to sail to Portland Now he lives in Portland.

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Knock knock, Who's there The delivery man The delivery man who Just take this package

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An American, a German, and a Mexican walk quickly into a room. They were late for a work meeting.

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3 Women were on a desert Island, This Island was situated in the middle of the Atlantic so there was no hope of survival.

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what's the difference between a dog and a sheep? one's a dog and the other isn't.

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So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. He crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

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Why did the stop sign run a red light? Because it couldn't see its face...

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knock, knock who's their? police get down on the ground!

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Q: What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferari? A: I don't have a ferari in my garage.

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a gay guy walks into a bar what does he do? buys a drink after a hard day at work

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Q: What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A: A park bench can support a family of four.

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I pregnant woman wakes in the night because she had a mis-carriage.

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Knock, knock. *answers door*

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What did Pittsburgh say to Philadelphia? .........Lightbulb.........

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Why did little Johnny fall off his swing? He had no arms.

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haha, you're an orphan

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*spongebob voice* 25

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I am a bitch, and so are you!

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Hi

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Q: How many elephants can fit inside a Volkswagen Beetle? A: Four.

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Guys, I think I'm gonna apply to join the Crips. My SAT score is a 2050, and their average score is a 2200. My GPA, however, is a 4.6, and their average is only a 4.2. Do you guys think that they will take me? Or should I try and apply for the Bloods?

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Why couldnt i think of an anti-joke? cuz i was too high and a fly distracted me

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Q. What's better then a baby in a microwave? A. What the hell is wrong with you? Did your parents not love you enough when you were born? Everything is worse then a baby in a microwave! Besides the felony charges it is extremely wrong! Your going to hell.

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A guy is taking a pee in the ocean and a fish swims up and drinks the pee. The fish says "thanks for the lemonade."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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