When you give your homecoming date flowers, you're really handing them a bouquet of sex organs

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Knock! Knock! Whose there? Chris Chris who? (There was never a response. Leaving the man to wonder who Chris was... Was it his high school buddy Chris? His former colleague? That guy who filled his propane tank down at the gas station? Was that guy's name even Chris-or was it Craig? Craig, it was definitely Craig.)

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How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

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Q: How do you stop a rhino from charging? A: The construction of a steel-reinforced concrete wall will work in most instances, but for more resistant cases, the use of a high-impact titanium anti-rhino charging barrier is required.

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What's the difference between a plum and an elephant? They're both purple but the elephant is gray.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, Others don't.

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Guess what? Chicken butt

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you go to cvs and theres a robber trying to shoot everyone and the cashier says do you have a rewards card

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What's heavy, black, and when hanging by a rope from a tree, makes white people happy? A tire, in any white football player's backyard.

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Why can't stars marry? Because they are masses of incandescent gas and thus have no feelings.

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one morning i turned on my tv

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An American, Mexican, and Chinese men are each asked to throw something off a cliff that they have too much of. The Chinese threw off rice. The Mexican threw off tacos. And the Americans.. Well.. They threw off the Mexicans.

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John: Knock knock Jack: Who's there? John: Whale Jack: I don't know a Whale, go away. John violently rips off Jack's cock in becaus he's sick of his shit.

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Why do people often give Jimmy strange looks? Because Jimmy has Down Syndrome

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what did the crippled boy get for christmas? cancer.

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When the boy cried wolf who heard him? Not Helen Keller

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How do you burn a lot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

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What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

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I used to be an inventor, but I had other ideas.

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Martin Skrtel walks into a bar The bar breaks, Martin then pays for any damages caused

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Why did the black man die? A white man killed him. He was a member of the KKK.

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What did the boy eat for breakfast? Food

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Birdie Birdie in the Sky, Left a message in my eye ... So I shot the little bitch

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A Muslim walks into a bar. No-one survived the blast.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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