Knock knock! Who's there? Boo! Boo who? Aww, don't cry!

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What do you call a Mexican playing basketball? A man of hispanic heritage that enjoys the sport of basketball.

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Obama

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? Getting tortured to death. Whats worse than being tortured to death? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, and getting tortured to death. Whats worse than that? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, getting tortured to death, and finding a worm in your apple.

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Q: Why cant Helen Keller drive? A: Because shes dead.

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Why was the man burying his child? because in france, fishing is only allowed 3 times a day

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A japanese man enters a Honda dealership and is approached by an eager salesman. The salesman shows him a few models and then asks him curiously "What do they call Honda in Japan?" The japanese man answered "Honda"

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Why didn't the young child commiserate the death of his grandparents after they were simultaneously crippled by a tremendous avalanche whilst skiing? He didn't exist.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme But this one doesnt

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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A lawyer met with his client and said.. well, there is some good news and some bad news The bad news is that you're going to prison for life.

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Have you heard about the awesome farmer? He was outstanding in his field. -ymda

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whats red round and gets smaller? a baby combing its hair with a potatoe peeler

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Are we in Tennessee? Because I recently saw on the side of the road that it was 10 miles to Memphis.

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what did the egg say to the boiling water? itll take a while to get hard cause i just got laid by a chick.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Knock Knock Who's There AT&T Guy Mom it's for you

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I think everybody should have a penis.

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What's red and black and looks good on a Jew? A bullet wound.

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The Dali Lama walks into a pizza parlor and asks the owner to make him one with everything. After 20 minutes or so the owner brings the Dali Lama a pizza with every available topping. After he finished eating the Dali Lama thanked the owner and left a nice tip.

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What is worse than being paralyzed from the neck down Nothing

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steven hawking walks into a bar

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A man gets a paternity test. It's better than beating his wife senseless due to his own insecurity.

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What's black, dangerous and sits in a tree ? A crow, with a machine gun !

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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