When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Well, that's going to be some horrible lemonade if life doesn't also give you water and sugar.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the farmer say to the other farmer? "Uh... So, you're a farmer?"

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A fat black guy walks into a pet store and asks if he can have a chicken. The cashier says "what do you want a chicken for?" He says " I need to lose weight so I'm hoping to eat its all natural eggs" So the cashier gives him the chicken and the fat black guy lost 50 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How does a black guy who murdered his wife get out of jail? He serves his sentence and is allowed to return back home.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the chicken cross the playground? Because he was looking for other chickens because he has no friends and he got bullied when he was in 12th grade. He got picked on because he was sledding down his hill in his backyard and he accidentally scraped one side of his face on ice and started bleeding. The next day his classmates started calling him two face.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you give Salley enough energy swim against the river current? Add your own electric current.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a pedophile.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Myth: Everyone but redheads has a soul. Fact: No one has a soul.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

The man with a long history of Alzheimer's once said: Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cheese n' toast

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's the difference between jelly and jam? A: Nothing Really

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's green and eats rocks? A green rock eater What's purple and eats rocks? It hasn't been discovered by science yet...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worst than a holocaust 2 holocaust's

thumb_up thumb_down -20

2 guys are in a bar joking and having a good time. One guy looks to the other and says, "So...HOWS your wife?" The man replies "...She died in a horrible car accident." The man's friend then says "...I am sorry to hear that.." "Yeah I know I wish that God damn rat wasn't in the road goddamn fucker"

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: What do you call someone who cant swim? A: A person that cant swim.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Starter clothing

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Why did the kid trip over the rock? Because he was diagnosed with serious autism, and might die soon.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everyone. - Blake Woodman

thumb_up thumb_down -11

your mom is so stupid she has a low iq

thumb_up thumb_down -22

That awkward moment when you thought this joke was going to be good but you thought wrong. Keep looking for good jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q. What's large, solid, and full of veins? A. A man or woman who frequently engages in weightlifting and follows a diet primarily based around high protein and low carbohydrate intake

thumb_up thumb_down -141

snowglobe

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing. Muffins are incapable of speaking.

thumb_up thumb_down

Man: Excuse me sir, is this where I turn in my library book? Farmer: You must be really lost, this is a farm.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

The man asks the blind man "where ya going"b The Blind man replies "i dont know".

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops