A blind man walks into the girls bathroom.

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Why did the girl commit suicide? She has been abused severely for seven years by her pet kangaroo.

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what did the cheese say to the other cheese nothing cheese can't talk

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Why did Mary fall of the swing? Because she had no arms. Who pushed johnny of the cliff? Certainly not Mary

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Once upon a time a homeless man was walking down the street. He stopped suddenly and realized he didn't know how to read. So he walked to the library to find someone to teach him. A woman was sitting at one of the tables so the homeless man walked up to her and asked, "Can you teach me how to read?" The woman stared at the homeless man for a few moments. Then she replied to him saying, "Not until you take a bath." Realizing that he smelled awful and that his face was covered in dirt he nodded towards the woman and left to go find a shower house. The homeless man came upon a hotel and asked the receptionist, "Excuse me sir, may I take a shower here?" The receptionist gave the man a long hard look and said, "Not until you find a better set of clothes." The homeless man looked at himself and saw that his clothes were quite old and worn out so he left the hotel to find a clothing store. He finds a clothing store and asks an employee, "Sir, may I have a new shirt, pants, socks, shoes and a pair of underwear?" The employee quickly said in reply, "Not until you pay for them." The homeless man remembered that he indeed was poor and didn't have a penny to his name. So then he walks out of the store to go find a job and make some money. He happens across a storage facility moving many heavy boxes. He walks up to the supervisor and asks, "Pardon me sir, do you need any help with moving these boxes? If you can pay me a few dollars I will help you." The supervisor said to him, "Sure, start moving them to that unit in the corner there. So the homeless man worked until dusk, made $55 dollars, went back to the clothes store, bought new clothes, waked back to the hotel and took a shower, and finally walked over to the library where the woman was still sitting and learned how to read. He walked out of the library feeling accomplished and full of pride. Unfortunately he wasn't paying attention to where he was walking. He slipped on the curb into traffic and was hit by a car, dying on impact.

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Austin. kid with long hair, sat next to paymon who had short hair. "Go cut ur hair." "ok"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He is suicidal and should probably get help.

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A police officer walks into a bar. He uses the ATM and withdraws 20 dollars. After greeting the bartender he leaves the establishment and proceeds to go on duty. The cop was really friendly.

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Why did little jimmy fall of his bike? His grandma threw the refrigarator at him.

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Why did the Mexican stop mowing the family's lawn? Because he felt it was time for his son to learn some responsibility.

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Whats the worst part of having a Birthday on Feb. 29th? You only get facebook birthday wishes every 4 years.

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I got a fever, and the only prescription is more ibuprofen.

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What's worse than having a bad hair day? Vietnam.

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What is white, sticky, and something that gay people and women love? Frosting.

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Whats red and is bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Your momma's so broke she might be eligible for government assistance. Seriously she should totally look into it.

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Why did Mary punch herself in the stomach? -she was pregnant

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A Refrigerator

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- I'm in my mum's car, broom broom. - Get out me car. - Aw.

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a priest a rabbi and a minister all walk into a bar and the bartender says "is this a joke?"

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Why did the black man grab and tie up the white woman? Because the white woman was a serial killer who has been on the FBI's most wanted list for killing children.

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I'd rather kill myself than commit suicide.

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Jesus wept.

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1 + 1 = 11 Just kidding, it's 2 you moron.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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