There are two men waiting in line at the supermarket. One of the men reaches forwards and taps the other one on the shoulder. He says, "You dropped your wallet.". He picks up his wallet and both of the men continue on with their day.

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Why couldn't Jimmy have his birthday party at the park? Because little Jimmy passed away several months ago from the result of a vicious genocide committed by a man who didn't properly understand the affect that maiming human beings has on the friends and family members of the person; he was sentenced to jail for a fair and reasonable time for the punishment of the crime he committed in the past.

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Roses are red,violets are blue, i love the colour red and green but its a pitty because im not so keen.

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how do you see the difference between a ceiling and a floor? people dont walk on a ceiling

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what happened to the man who walked into a bar he slipped from the bar of soap and died

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A muslim walks into an airport. He then buys his ticket, boards his plane, and his flown to his proper destination.

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What's black and white and read all over? Half a zebra.

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A man goes into a store to buy some bread, He asks a woman behind the counter for help. She says " We have white, wheat, or rye. What kind would you like?" . To which the man replies, " It does not matter, I rode my bicycle.

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What did God say to Abraham? Nothing, because God doesn't exist.

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Why John isn't smiling? Becouse he died yesterday

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What is the square root of 69? 8.306623863

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What's the first thing that goes through a persons mind when they get shot in the head. The bullet.

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A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Somebody else besides you: what time is it? You: what time is what? SOmebody else: ? What?

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why did the kid stop eating his breakfast...two Penn state officials knocked at the door

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Why didn't Sammy Robertson make the world series catch to win the series in 1977? Because Sam, like many many discouraged teens in America, didn't follow his life long dream and later became a janitor at his hometown middle-school.

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Q: What did the guy with glasses say to the guy without glasses? A: Dude your not wearing glasses.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ben. Oh hi! come in.

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What did the disabled kid get for his birthday. The same as any other kid.

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Two egyptian soccerclubs are playing, what's the score? Over 70 dead

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Why was the truck covered in blood? The chicken tried crossing the road

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What's worse than a dead baby joke? A dead baby.

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Riddle me this, riddle me that. I'll eat your f^cking cat.

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In Soviet Russia! People were much more finacially secure than they are now.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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