Dog walks into a bar Asked for a hard cider Got it

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His family was being held hostage on the other side.

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Where did the people go after the bomb went off? EVERYWHERE!!!

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What did bob get his wife for christmas? Pregnant

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What's the difference between a fat man and a little boy? Despite the fact that they were dropped on two different cities, one was made out of uranium, the other was made out of plutonium.

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What's the difference between a zebra and a newspaper? Everything.

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What does a vegetarian eat? colored penis

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how do you confuse a brunette? tell a joke about how there are no beaches in florida

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Q. What do you do when you cross an elephant, and a soccer ball. A. That would never happen.

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Why did god create planet earth? He isn't real.

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Why couldn't the duck get his driver's license? Well, it was a duck and as far as we're concerned they don't have thumbs or arms and are therefore incapable of driving.

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What kind of a prediction is THAT?

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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Rather rich and healthy, then poor and sick.

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why did the 60 year old touch the little boy's penis? because he was a pedophile.

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What do you call a one legged , one eyed, canadian fisherman called Samuel Browning? Mr Browning unless you are on friendly terms then Sam is fine.

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A sad guy walks in to a bar and the bartender asks, what's the matter? The guy responds, I just found out i'm deaf

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what's black and white and red all over? nothing... it's red

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A bald man walks out a bar crying Prostate cancer

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Asian son: "I'm using a calculator for my math" Asian mother: "Why not you calculatnow!"

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What do you call a group of Mexicans jumping over a fence? I heat of runners trying out for the Mexican Olympic hurdle team.

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How many rich men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, to hire an electrician to do it for him.

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What's the difference between a cat and a banana? One is a cat, the other is a banana.

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What happens if you shoot a chicken? It dies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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