what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? cancer

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how do u get a blonde to stay away from her credit card... i dont know im blonde

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Why did the car drink Slurpies? I don't know. Why? Doorknob. Carl was unsure on what his friend, Frank meant when he told his joke, but then again who IS sure? Frank is the only one who truly knows what happened that day on August 13th 2010 when his mother came over for a surprise visit to her son's house just as Frank was heading out the door about to get in his truck and buy groceries, unaware that his mother was standing outside and bending over to ring the door bell not to expect Frank opening the door with his quick and violent actions thus hitting his mother in the face as the door swung open. Frank hadn't known his mother was at his house nor even remembered him but there she was, past out bleeding to death on his front lawn. It was Frank's fault that day, when his mother past away and reason why Frank hides his anger through his jokes. If only he hadn't opened that door he tells himself every night. Now he's cursed himself with his odd humour of using doorknobs as punchlines to hide his grief of his loss. And with that, Carl replies; Ummm.... I don't get it.

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Why was the black person sent to the back of the bus? All of the front and middle seats were taken.

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Q: Why did the 10 year old squirt his dad with the water hose? A: What to year old WOULDN'T?

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was a loaf of bread.

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What do you do when life throws lemons at you? Take out your lemon shield and retreat deep into your lemon proof bunker.

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im gay because im gay

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What is the best game in the world? There is no answer because that would be an opinion and opinions cannont be proved or measured.

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How do you put a bananna in a mini-van? Walk up to the mini-van and stick it in the backseat.

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so theres a plane, inside the plane are 500 solid bricks one falls out, how many are left? 499 What are the three steps to putting an elephant into a refrigirator? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, close the fridge. What are the four steps to putting a dear in the fridge? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer and then shut the fridge. It's Simba's birthday, what animal isn't there? The deer. its still in the fridge. a lady is walking across a street, she suddenly falls to the ground why? Because the brick hit her in the face. (:

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i just wrote this so hard

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How many dinosaurs does it take to fill a pool? I don't know and no one will know as they are extinct organisms

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roses are red, violets are blue.

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How do you make an idiot in suspense?

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What's Brown and dirty? Dirt

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Believing in God may be a sign of autism Kappa

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Let's make like your mother and walk out on your family during pre-adolescence.

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5 people are walking

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What's the difference between a piano and a goldfish? One's a piano, the other is a goldfish.

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Cut the rope.

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john liked the paper........ so he took it

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How do you kill a blond? Make her listen to the song "Friday" for two hours straight.

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Why was Mrs. Clause mad at Santa Clause? Because he was hanging out with three hoes, Ho, Ho, and Ho

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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