A mosquito flies into a bar and orders a bloody mary, the bartender then takes out a swatter and kills the pest. Noticing the event, the patrons cheer and continued drinking their frothy beverage. Minutes later, the phone rings and the bartender answers the phone. "Hello?" "Hi, I'm looking for a friend of mine, is he there?" "Let me check, by the way, what's his name?" "Jack Hoff" "One sec. HEY FELLAS(yelling over the noisy bar), IS THERE A JACK HOFF HERE? I NEED A JACK HOFF! ANYONE?" Mr. Hoff, sitting at the bar hears this and asks, "who is it?" "He said he's a friend of yours!" "Which one?" " He said his name's Dick Stroker and he needs help on something hardhe'll meet you around back." "Oh ok, thanks."

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I hate it when sentences don't end the way you expect them potato.

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i have a black person in my family tree he is still hanging

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a tomato.

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Whats gayer than driving a prius Buttsex

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How do you know what to order at a Creole restaurant? Ask the waiter, they are usually familiar enough with the menu to make an educated recommendation.

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Sooo, when exactly did you become a man? Is this subject boring you?

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Knock Knock! Who's there? So. So who? Cares.

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sir ya look like ron weasly hhahahahaha LEL

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Q: Why is it so that antijokes often give you a funny answer? A:.... *hayroll* *crickets* Moral: Im the MoranautBitch!

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what did the lawyer say to the lawyer? "whats up lawyer?" what did the banana say to the banana? nothing bananas dint talk...

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How much dirt was in a hole that was 6 feet wide and 6 feet deep? None. It's a hole.

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Knock knock Who's there? Yolanda I do not know anyone by that name. I am sorry Oh I must be at the wrong house. My apologies. Oh, it's alright. Have a nice day You too. Take care!

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whats pink, brown, and smells like a banana. monkey vomit?

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How do you get a blonde's number? You ask her, but she probably won't give it to a loser like you.

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Four black guys have a picnic. One of them pulls out a bag of KFC. Another pulls out some Kool Aid. The third pulls out a watermelon. The fourth pulls out a box of cookies you racist prick

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What's worse than kicking your dog? Eating it.

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hickory dickory dock no one cares

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if a cat is mean and a dogs a bitch then what do u call your wife? A MEAN ASS BITCH

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What do you call a black man on a bicycle? A cyclist.

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what's worse than being hiv+? having full blown aids.

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What's worse than getting one of your hands cut off? Getting both of your hands cut off.

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Q: The girl fell for the guy, but the guy was sad about it, why? A: Because she fell off a cliff.

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How many walls can you paint with a baby? Depends on how hard you throw it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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