Whats the difference between Megan Fox and a dead baby? Megan Fox is alive

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A man starts acting weird in a resturant, the waiter says "whats the problem sir?" The man says "I'm choking and I just died."

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What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a Cheetah? A yellow Chuck Norris with black spots.

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hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have alzheimers, hey i just met you

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Did you hear about Helen Keller's dog? Neither did she.

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What do you call a bird that can't fly? A dead bird

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Teachers be like "Hold on class, I am almost done with my lesson!" Students: " Aint nobody got time 4 dat!"

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A little boy ran to the pool to see how long he could hold his breath. He slipped and fractured his skull.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What's worse than 9/11? a dipped glass of milk

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This is an anti-joke.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither Has He.

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What do you call a black man sitting on your couch? A house guest.

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Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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What is worse than reading an anti-joke relatively similar to the other? Walking in your front yard and realizing a zombie is eating your dead grandmother.

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What is big green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree A pool table

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? He was shot in the head. Plus the fact that it was his first attempt on a bike made it highly unlikely to succeed anyway.

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I'm so popular... That I am friends with many people...

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How do you scare a plumber? Kill his family.

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Who's gay? Justin Beaver

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What's the difference between a Porche and a Pile of dead babies? I don't have a Porche in my garage.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 has AIDS.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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