Dont be silly, you know that everything is relative, and that relativity is as unlimited as the subconscious mind, give me ten more minutes, and I can hypnotize you in five minutes in order to see life in slow motion yourself for as long as you feel like. Just dont expect your body to adjust like mine, meaning that if you try to run, your brain will use its old habits while your perception is used to the slow ones... In other words, you will end up on the floor or smacking into a wall.

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If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, what does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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Why did the two black men break into a bank with guns? It was being robbed by a white man and they were police officers.

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Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock The person you are seeking is deaf and cannot hear the sound that is made when your knuckles come in contact with the door. Try calling next time..........

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Women's Rights

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What's the longest, hardest thing on a black man? His femur.

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Person 1: So now that were friends on facebook, you wanna hang out? Person 2: No I'd rather not.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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What happens if you fell off a 600 foot cliff? You die.

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A guy walks into a bar what does he say? OW.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ada! Ada who? Ada burger for lunch!

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knock knock who's there? The police your family is dead

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Your mama is so fat she has to buy plus sized clothes.

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what makes a knight in shining armor a knight in shining armor? he has to have armor and be a knight.

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Knock Knock Who is there? The IRS coming to take your house

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Whats pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

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an ant walks into my aunt.... the ant took a dump

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Three baby seals walk into a club...

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what do you call a girl with no arms and legs whatever her name is

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What happened when the Mexican put the Popsicles in the fridge? They melted

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What do you call a black person who flys a plane? Well, first ask for their name, then address them as such.

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There is a asian, mexican and a blonde boy at school. Every day they each get the same food for lunch. The asian always got noodles. The mexican a taco. the blonde boy got pb and j. They decide if they get this lunch again, they will jump off a cliff. The next day they get the same lunch and jump off a cliff. At their funeral the asian mom says " if i had known, i would have made her sushi." the mexican mom says " i would have made her a burrito." The blonde's dad say "hey don't look at me, he makes his own lunch."

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96

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Why did the Jewish population diminish in the '40s? Showers and Ovens

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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