canaan and mallory

What's the difference between an American and a British guy? Their fingerprints.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. | | + | + + + + Why did the chicken get run over the farmers tractor? Because the chicken crossed the road and didn't look both ways before crossing and didn't see the tractor that ran him over. P.S. The chicken died and the farmer was arrested for animal abuse.

What do you say if you see a black man with blood on his hands and he has a mask on? Thank you doctor for saving my sons life!

An asian is driving a car. He observes the speed limit and uses his turning signals while switching lanes.

what happens when you throw a green rock into the red sea? -- it gets wet

What is red, blue, green, and pink, tie died, and alive? Nothing.

Hey Lady Gaga, Madonna called, she wants her clothes back; she lend them to you weeks ago for a concert because you didn't have anything to wear and you haven't returned them yet.

Person 1 Hey man what's up Person 2 nothing much I just impregnated your mom

Q: Whats the difference between nude pics and your mom? A: I can wackk off to nude pics

why was the boy crying? ... because he had a frog stapled yo his face.

Yo Mama is so dumb, that she scored significantly below average on the SAT's.

why couldnt james zatts swim? he was half black

why did the duck cross the road? More than likely there was something that appeals to the duck on the other side such as a pond or duck food. On the contrary there could also be something that did not appeal to the duck on the side from which he is departing from such as a lack of a pond or a lack of duck food.

Q:how man ADD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: I dont know, wanna go ride bikes?

What did God say to the priest while he was masturbating.... ... God doesn't exist.

How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie into in!

Roses are Red Violets are Blue This poem makes no sense Trampoline

the story of the two kings, bourne and brendan They were numbercrunching hardcore one night in the hills of arathi basin when the mailbrethren gave them a message from the almighty rogue of orgimar. This rogue challenged the two kings, codenames as follows: bourne (hunt cair) and brendan (worgensRsick). obviously bourne was a ret pally and brendan was a holy priest, representing the alliance faction because they dont belive in the corrupt (actual quote from J3b, "the kitty slayer tauren"). The duel would take place in the arena of hyjal, a place where heat blows from below, and sucks hard. Hyjal was once a place where the almighty druids had meetings of total epicness and made love in the flowers. Of course, taurens were very attracted to the mentally ill cows, and created j3b's character, foulmeat. When the two kings arrived, the rogue was actually in stealth, a goblin subtley rogue of vast strength and agil. His resil rating was at an astonishing 89k rating. He made n00bs spooge over their keyboards. The epic duel began when the rogue sapped both kings and ambushed bourne. Bourne legacy was hurt badly and had 15% health. Brendan's step brother came in and surprised attacked the rogue and took him to half health. his name was dalyquestsbedone. But all of a sudden, the world of azeroth was sucked in by the depths of the maelastrom of deathwing, and everyone died. All the players relogged and did it all over again. ˜´??

Abortion.

Your mother is so unintelligent that her IQ score is equal to or lower than 2 standard deviations below the national average of 100 on the Mensa approved intelligence test that has been properly administered and supervised.

Roses are red Violets are buckets This poem makes no sense Boobs

Q: What's green has four legs and would kill you if it fell off a roof and hit you? A: A pool table.

How do dinosaurs pay their bills? They don’t, dinosaurs don’t have a capital system.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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