Whats faster that a Mexican with your TV? A speeding bullet.

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What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

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Why was the family sad? Their house burnt down.

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What did the priest say to the young boy? Hi.

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Michael walked into a bar, The rest of the bar initially erupted with laughter until the his carer made everybody aware that Michael suffered from brittle bones and that he had actually fractured his hip after colliding with the bar. People then understood the gravity situation as the bartender immediately dialled the emergency services. Michael managed to recover physically from the accident but to this day he is still scarred from the laughter aimed at him the night of his accident and is too afraid to return to the bar again in fear of being mocked despite the misunderstanding of the situation.

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yo mamas so poor she should probably consider finding a job

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Yo mama so fat , when she went to the doctors office and stepped on the scale they said please, your weight, not your phone number .

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Yo mama so short, she developed a debilitating neck problem from having to look up at people when talking to them.

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What did the Asian see when he went to Youtube.com? Youtube.com

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What do you call a black hitch-hiker? Stranded

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How many amish people does it take to screw in a light blub? None as the amish don't require artificial light

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what did the kid say when he could not find his shoe? wheres my shoe?

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Why was the hiker upset? He was plummeting 1,500 feet to the ground after tripping on a rock too close to a cliff.

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Boom.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a pedophile.

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knock knock? who's there the stubt double vampire that's going to kill you;0

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how do you refer to a guy with a backwards baseball cap and leather jacket and low riding? by his first name

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Fine, the facts add up, excuse me if disinfecting what is left of my eyeball hurts like a bitch and reminds me of the fun I had losing about half of it and my eyelid left/right eyelid (I cannot tell left from right, I was born that way, on the bright side I can use both hands for everything). You know, I am sorry for taking such drastic measures, you know I could have spent the entire day with my wife and both my eyes, we where going on a trip around the world and stuff. Instead she is in police custody and I am stuck looking like a fucking pirate and my friend here does not quite get that its not the aching burning pain of living hell that gets to me, but rather the sensation of feeling pain at the core of my fucking eye whose sensation is so fucking overwhelming that I get just a little bit ticked off. Fucking hell am I glad we do not have a kid. I cannot pick up the phone, you see, its not my number, I paid off a couple of friends (do not really know them) To change their names to Nero. Now, if this is true and you have no idea who assaulted me, then you should have no problem knowing that I wont reveal where you live because we live pretty close to one another, you are not the only one that has proxies. If you do not mind you will have to chat with me here for a while, my eye hurts like a bitch and the fucked up sensation gives me just a tiny bit of anxiety, I will answer the phone, when my fucking hands stop trembling, I already dropped the fucking cell twice. Now it is busted and my friend is trying to put the chip into the other one yadayada, given the conditions I will call you,

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What's faster than a black man carrying your TV? The law enforcement that promptly catches him and is about to charges him with theft regardless of his ethnicity because stealing someone else's property is just generally an unlawful thing to do.

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your skull would make a nice pen holder

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Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? No. You don't need to, it's quite inappropriate.

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What's the difference between a pen and a tiger? Believe it or not they are both not a cantaloupe.

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What did the deaf guy say to the other deaf guy? Nothing.

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A man walks into a woman's bedroom... But I was already bored of the plot so I skipped to the end of the pornographic video.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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