Q.whats black and white and red all over A. half a zebra

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What is worse than being blind? Having a brain tumour.

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A man questions wether a cat will always land on it's feet. He takes a cat from a pet store and tosses it into the air. The cat lands on it's feet. Startled, the cat runs into the street and gets hit by a car. The man goes to prison for theft and animal abuse.

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A guy walks into a bar and asks a nice looking girl if he can buy her a drink. She promptly rejects the offer.

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Steering Wheel Face.

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Why was Billy sad? An evil clown hit him with an Axe.

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what did the nostalgic robot barber say to all of his customers before cutting their hair? 0010101000011100101000100100100110101010100101010101010

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What did the clown say when he was denied health insurance? Nothing, he died of his pre-existing heart condition.

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What do you call a black man speeding away in a Ferrari. A wealthy man who is late for work.

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In Soviet Russia, millions die under an oppressive and uncaring regime that uses communism to justify its inhumane policies.

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A man orders chinese food. His wife says "Honey, where's the cat?"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it all starts back in 1765. Sir clucks the 3rd, was the finest most brave chicken there was. No other chickens could even compare. Well you see Sir clucks, with all of his riches and wealth, was one of the most popular chickens of his time. Everyone knew of his vast fortunes. Unfortunately for sir clucks his fortune caused him great misfortunes. You see the dastardly Honey badger brothers heard of the Great Sir clucks and thought to themselves "Why does sir clucks get all the fame and fortune." With that being said the Three brothers came up with one of the most evil plans. They found sir clucks, walking through an alleyway in SHITBUTT city. They surrounded Sir clucks and beat him to the brink of death. They then threw a bag over his head and threw him in their windowless rape van. They then sped off in the night, taking sir clucks to their hideout out in the Dastardly Dry Desert. Not many days passed before the citizens of SHITBUTT city realized that their Most beloved Sir clucks had gone missing. Day,weeks months passed by, but to no avail. Finally, in the 4th month of sir clucks absence, the honey badger brothers sent mayor Monkeyman a ransom note explaining how they want 1 million in clean bills. Little did they know Sir clucks had been coming up with a plan of his own, as the days passed. Nightfall came and Sir clucks set his plan in motion. He had been working on getting his bindings loose and tonight was the night he would escape. "I don't feel so well" says sir clucks to one of the honey badger brothers that was on guard that night. "ehhh what seems to be the problem?" he opens sirclucks cage, not knowing he is a 7th level Black belt. BAM SMACK BONG and with that sir clucks moved quicker than a jack rabbit and ran out into the chill desert night. After hours of running and his feet bloody to the bone he came to a road. You know what happened next? He crossed that SHIT and lived happily ever after And that my amigos is the Factual true story of Sir clucks the 3rd.

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who's a knob,a liar, and systematically ruining a once well-run family football club by employing crooks , buying footballers who are well-passed there sell-out date and getting the team relegated ? steve kean not laughing ? nor are 23 ,000 others

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A plane is flying low over New York City. It's low on fuel and needs to land.

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Why are orphans so bad at baseball? They don't know where home is.

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What is the difference between dead babies and a corvette? There is no corvette in my garage

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender

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What is fat and white? A polar bear with a glandular problem.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The police catch them, and they are sentenced to jail.

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Did you know that in the country of Nigeria, every minute, 60 second passes?

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what do you call a black guy african american

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Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Oh hey Banana what's up? Nothing much. You? Oh nothing, I was just talking to Apple here. Oh hey Apple. Hey.

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This week only, 2 for 1 misdemeanor shop lifting arrest. How can I do it? Because I can.

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I don't really like holocaust jokes because my grandpa was in it. Yeah he was drunk and fell off his guard tower.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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