did you know helen keller had a dog? neither did she....

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how many moms can you fit in a bathtub? as many as you want

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walked into a prison. A gang stopped them, and said: Hey, want to play a game? Before they could run away, the gang leader told them the rules. You go over there and stand by the wall. You close your eyes, and then we fire a shotgun in your direction. The last one alive wins. They push the brunette onto the wall. She closes her eyes because she knows she's about to die and doesn't want her friends to see her crying. The gun goes off, and she falls to the ground, dead. They pull away her dead body. They decide it's the redhead's turn next. They move her onto the wall. Being the brightest one in the bunch, she tries to keep her eyes open. However, she blinks. The gun goes off, and she falls to the ground, dead. They pull away her dead body. Then the blonde bursts out laughing. "Your friends are dead. And you're about to die. Do you find that funny?" They ask. She answers. "No. It's just- I won the game!"

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Why did the boy Drop his Ice Cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

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Women's rights

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-knock knock -i'm not at home, go away!

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What's funnier than a fat person falling nothing is

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says: both your legs are broken in 10 places, you will never walk again.

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Why was the school field trip cancelled? The Holocaust.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your son has been in a car accident and has died.

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What made Chuck Norris cry? Stubbing his toe

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steves legs

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How do you blind fold an asian? Dental floss!

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we sat at the table and began to say graceme my sister, me and my mom we bowed our heads and closed our eyes and said grace we lifted our heads and opend our eyes and the food was gone my mom was gone and the chocolate in my pocket was gone (i wonder who did it lol)

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A drunk guy walks into a car

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1st person: What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? 2nd person: I don't know 1st person: A Jew is a follower of the zionist faith and a pizza is a popular food invented in Italy and comes with your choice of several delicious toppings. 2nd person: But not all Jews follow zionism 1st person: Well some places restrict your choice of toppings. Whats your point?

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If your fighting an octopus on mars how many lamps does it take to repair a dog house? Nine because a toaster cannot ride a bicycle.

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what will you do if you become a ruler of the world? Waking up, its just a dream GET REAL!

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why did jimmy fall of of the tractor? Because he is a potato

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Five people all from different backgrounds get in a car and nobody get's raped.

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Wanna hear a joke? JORDAN SANDERS IN A RELATIONSHIP.

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*prepares this to get negative votes*

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Why should people with Alzheimer's not tell jokes? To get to the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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