Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

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What did the Pope say to the old homeless man who asked him for a blessing? Hahaha, no I won't give you a blessing

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Why couldn't little Timmy turn in his homework? Because on the way to school little Timmy was hit by a bus

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What does the funeral director say at a jewish funeral? Ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes...

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Roses are red, violets are blue, so is my face, I'm constipated

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What's the best way to win a race? Run faster than all other participants.

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Why didn't Superman save the world trade center? He was in a wheelchair.

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whats the same about a turtle and another turtle? they both seem to like lettuce

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I threatened to throw a fridge at it

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How do you make a girl scout cry? Kill her family.

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a penguin biked to a bakery he walked in and asked for buns the baker said how many 12 or 13 the penguin said it don't matter I brought my bike

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why did the ginger have no friends? he was wearing skechers

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What do you call an asian man driving a plane? Nothing, you cannot drive a plane you can only fly it

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What's worse then mud on your shoes. Being assassinated by means of a dart to the throat.

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a women walks into a room and says she got a good job..wait thats not possible..

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yo momma is so stupid she went and got her self checked for mental retardedness and it turns out she happens to be autistic.

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Why the boy doesn't get any birthday presents? he has cancer.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Roses are red.

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Q: why are you gay A: because your physically attracted to the same sex

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Where did the little girl go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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There was a man driving his truck down a dark road, half way down the road he see's a man walking alone. He stops beside him, winds down his window and says "Oi mate, need a lift"? The man replies "yeah sure, but can i sleep in the back of the truck"? The driver replies "Yeah sure" later on as the man is sleeping he hears a big bang. "what was that" the man asks. The driver says "Don't worry i just hit a cow, go back to sleep". time goes by and he hears another bang. "W-what was that". "Don't worry i just hit a moose, go back to sleep and ill wake you when we arrive". Few moments latter he hears a tick tick bang. He gets up and yells "What was that"? The driver replies "Dont worry mate i just hit a aboriginal" The man replies "What was those two ticks before that"?. The driver says "I had to drive through two fences to hit the bastard"

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What has wings, is bald, and can't fly? A bald eagle. I lied about the part where it can't fly.

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A woman stopped making sandwiches.

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A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops