'Knock knock' 'who's there?' 'Whinny the poo' 'Whinny the poo who?' 'Whinny the poo'

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Did you hear about the 4'10" psychic that escaped from prison? It's on the news! "Small Medium At Large."

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Whats funny about alexis? she's really a boy!

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Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a large dog on its side of the road attempting to harass it.

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Why did the monkey fall off his tricycle? He got hit by a fridge.

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why was the little boy screaming. he realized he was an asian

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Too tired to come up with the definition, by the way, it was I that came up with the code system you guys use, so I kinda knew long ago that you lied to me when you said you do not use passwords,

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So an irishmen, jewish, and asain walk into the bar...and the bartender said get out..

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What happens when a man farts a fancy memorial party in a ball room in England... At least 1000 people die somewhere on earth in the time his butt squeezed out that fart. And I'm sure someone gets raped.

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Jerry Sandusky and two other men are on a cruise ship, when it suddenly starts to sink. The first man says, "save the children!" The second man says, "screw the children!" Jerry Sandusky drowned.

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A man walks into a bra, he is an alcoholic and is destroying his family

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? The bench can support a family.

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knock knock? who's there the stubt double vampire that's going to kill you;0

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how many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? well it depends on the size of the bathtub - and the size of the babies, for sure.

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How much wood could the woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A relatively small amount compared to the amount of trees in the world.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i suck at poetry, show me your tits!

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a man about 65 years old is tired with his life. he begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. whil on his way to commit suicide, he comes across a man with a magicul offer. the magical man is offering to grant him the power to fly. although, the magical man wants something in return. the 65 year old man, says to himself, "i have nothing to lose". so he gives the magical man all his money and possesions he has with him. with a flick of his wrist, the magical man says, "ok, you have now been granted the power to fly". the 65 year old man, overjoyed of how he has the ability to fly runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. too bad the magical man was really male prostitute broke out of money and tricked the 65 year old man into beleiving that he had magical powers to grant him the power to fly. the 65 yeard old man died from impact and the male prostitute walked away with a wallet full of money.

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if a cat is mean and a dogs a bitch then what do u call your wife? A MEAN ASS BITCH

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A chicken decides to cross a road. Unfortunately it gets ran over and does. The end.

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Why was the fat lady on the Medicine ball? Because she was fat!

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How many squirrels does it take to screw out a light bulb? None because squirrels lack the strength and mind set to screw out a light bulb.

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Where did the boy go after the explosion? Everywhere

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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