You know how to torture Hellen Keller? -No. Put a plunger in the toilet.

YOUR MOM SHOT YOU OUT HER ASS!!!

how do you make a door cry? twist its nob

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because Acl tear stepped on a spit.

Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

A man walked into a bar. It hurt.

roses are red violets are microwaves i have amnesia what ma name iiizzz 'SHAWTAY

How do you kill a lawyer? Stab him 50 times in the chest, slit him open and take all of his organs out one by one. Burn what you have left. That should do the trick. OMG I AM EVIL

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A: Knock Knock. B:Whose there? A:Jehovah witness!

Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, Jack sat on his candle, and burnt his ass.

What did the young boy get His dad for fathers day? Nothing, his dad died from a very aggresive cancer

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had to arms. Knock knock Who's there? Well clearly not Sally

Boom.

Q: A policeman is working past a room. The window is too high to see in. The person hears "no John, don't", and then a gunshot. He rushes inside and sees a dead body on the floor with a gun beside him. Also in the room are a doctor, a lawyer and a priest. Without asking any questions, he immediately arrests the priest. Why? A: Because the priest is the only male in the room.

If I have 12 backpacks and Jimmy has 91 pancakes, then how many marshmallows can cover the roof of this building? Purple. Because Aliens don't wear hats.

Two planes walk into an office building

What is sticky and smelly - a stick

planned on writing you all an antijoke decided i wouldn't.

knock knock go away

Jon has 50 chocolate candy bars Jon eats 45 of them. What does Jon have? Diabetes...

What do you call a black priest? Father

what did the cerial killer get for christmas an electric chair

Coming this fall, A hilarious movie for the whole family to enjoy, actor Rob Schneider play a very normal man would goes to work everyday to support his family who he loves more than anything in the world, critics are saying that this is the most vulgar slapstick comedy of the year as Rob Schneider teaches his two adopted kids the power of Jesus Christ. Coming this fall... The Nun's Birthday Rated R for excessive nudity of Rob Schneider and an asian hooker.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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