Why is the fat kid laying on the ground crying? Because I hit him with a shovel

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How do you scare a blonde? Put the barrel of a gun to the side of her head.

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when debbie meets downer

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead.

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Why does Santa Claus not have children? Because he only comes once a year.

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when do you know your a BOSS................ when you get a promotion

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Q. how did the blond get a college degree in medicine? A. she studied hard and aced her final exam.

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A 14 year old walks into a bar. The bartender yells "Hey, no minors allowed here!" A 14 year old walks out of a bar.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Someone threw birdseed.

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the sky is green no it is not

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Dave: Hey, Doug! How was your day? Doug: My mother is dead.

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I know Mandarin, He's a good friend of mine

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There are 5 men in a desert a black man a white man a gay a lesbian and a white woman they have no food or water and haven't had any in 3 weeks civilization is 1 mile away how many people live and which ones They all die you can only live 3 days without water.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

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How do you prevent aids? Nail an orphan to your genitals before sex.

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A man walks into the doctors and he says to the doctor 'my leg hurts when I poke it like this'. The doctor replies 'don't poke it like that then'.

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in soviet russia, cow milks you

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how do you make a plummer cry? you kill his family

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why did the dog jump into the pool? because the cat was chasing him

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What do you call a puppy with no limbs? It doesn't matter, he's never coming back.

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Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they're ugly and stink.

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whats big red and eats bricks a big red brick eater

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whats softer than a furry blanket an indian

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A llama walks into a pub. Actually, he didnt, because it is physically impossible for a llama to stand up and proceed to walk over 2.8 feet. That stat was a lie.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops