Why did he chicken cross the road? The suicide rate in chickens has gone up 50% in the past year alone.

-Your momma is so ugly, she wasnt a model. -Am I supposed to be caring?

What does Pontiac stand for - People Of Normal Thinking Intelligence Acting Classy

Q. What did the buddhist monk say to the hotdog vendor? A. "I'd like a hotdog, please."

Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I'm colorblind.

Why couldn't the cat drink the milk? Because it had no face.

A teen walks in on his parents having sex. He then vomits in his mouth and shuts the door.

How do you avoid being hit with a toaster? You don't walk past the man hitting you with a toaster.

Q: why did the dad drop his baby? A: she was slippery.

A mother and father heard their young son sobbing in his room, so they ran upstairs to see what the problem was. When they got to his room, they found the older son was dead and hanging from the ceiling. And the younger son was actually laughing, not crying.

Why was the black man running down the street with a suitcase? He was late for work.

What did the construction worker bring with him to work? - Tools

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

Why was the homeless man homeless? He lost his house in a terrible house fire, stretching throughout his apartment building, losing his much beloved wife and kids in the horrific accident.

What did the cancer patient do during Willow Smith's "Whip My Hair"? -Nothing.

Yo Momma is so fat that she is heavier than most other women her age

A mother and her child run into the store... The mother opens the door, so the child does not run into the store again.

there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

how many shit jokes do you need to make before you realize that random does not equal funny? TOO FUCKING MANY

Sean Nuneviller look him up, he's cute.

a fat black man walks into an aquarium he enjoyed his day viewing many sea animals while buying a souvenier on his way out.

Why did the girl not apply for her American CItizenship? She was already an American Citizen.

what did the judge say to the lawyer during a trial. He said We are all in a court. thus concluding that the judge was retarted.

How do you prevent a baby from crawling all over the place? You nail his hands to the floor

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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