Why did the little boy refuse to kiss his grandmother? He was afraid she would slip him some tongue.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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Nick Cannon

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Jennifer Kim... having a boyfriend!

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whats the difference between a dog and a cat? ones a dog.

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Why did the man punch NUGE in the face? Because he got angry that NUGE was being such a BA person and he was jealous of NUGE'S style and he just got dumped by his ugly as poop mom which was eating Anti Chicken.

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Why do witches ride on brooms? Because they have magical powers!

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Why did the mechanic sleep under a car? He had narcolepsy.

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Patty cake. Which was a pretty funny catchthingie.

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How do you know if a woman is cheating on you? If you catch her cheating on you

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What does a man say to his annoying friend? Please stop annoying me now.

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What's the difference between a mole and dynamite? - Moles don't explode... unless you fill them with dynamite.

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agp

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How do you get a clown to stop smiling Kill him

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roses are red, violets are blue, I talk to myself, and so do it I.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. A family is tied-up and screaming for help in my basement.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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how do kill a black guy? shoot him in the face

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What's the difference between a carrot and an elephant? The carrot is orange.

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After thinking hard for a very long time, the pig realized he was a fat, worthless piece of shit.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What did the farmer say after the chicken started talking? Holy shit a talking chicken

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops