What do you call a Mexican named Chicee? Chicee

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Mindfuck: They call you a patient where medics are because they do not want you to become impatient. The Coronel is the Kernel of the army (coronel sounds a lot like coronel no?) Sergeant = Sir gent. as in Sir gentle(man) Ok, so if you experience insanity one day, does that make you insane forever? In that case I was born and will die hungry and thirsty. Sigmund Freud= Sickman fraud. General: The guy you should generally listen to if you are in the army. 3.14 ratebay = PIRATE BAY! Why is Satan the antichrist, humans killed him :P Satan only "tempted his thirsty brother with water at the desert" Jesus showed real power by saying "NO WATER WHEN I AM THIRSTY IS BAD FROM MY BROTHER!"

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Q. whats the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? A. I dont jump on my trampoline with metal cleats.

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Whats gay and has wheels? Alex Egbert, I lied about the wheels

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"Knock-knock." "Come in, sorry that the doorbell is broken."

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whats worse than having cancer? nothing you have cancer and should proceed to see doctor

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It's red or yellow but most likely grey, and when its hit your eye you are dead? A train :)

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What did the man with a colostomy bag say after his home was destroyed in a fire? At least all my shit’s in one place.

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A man walked into a bar. He got a head trauma and committed suicide.

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There was a boy named Johnson. He was a happy boy who had a mother and father who loved. One day he didn't do his homework

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four nazis are walking towards this jew. as soon as the first nazi came in arms reach of the jew he and his friends started to maliciously hug the jew.......................................and then 20 years later they killed his family.

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What did the old lady call the black pilot who's name was Marcus? Marcus

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What did the pig say to the banana? Oink.

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What did the girl say to the other girl? Nothing. She got hit in the head with a pineapple

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Why did the white girl become a lesbian? Because she was raped and had no more trust in the male gender.

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What did the duck say to the pickle? Quack

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whats red and brown and goes about 30mph? a squirrel in a blender.

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What did hitler say to the jews? Die.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died. Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because he was to fat. Why did the snake fall out of the tree? I don't know everything, Bitch!

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What do you call 10,000 lawyers jumping off a cliff? Mass suicide

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Conversation: Hey dawg? Whats that? Hey, remember curiosity killed the cat! You threatening me on my life and calling me a pussy? Im calling the cops. ...Because like Larsons some of my ideas suck, but since I am an asshole I also add them to fill some space.

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What did the blonde say when she saw a tan button on her calculator? That must mean tangent.

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how do goldfishes drown? you pull them backward water fills there lung and there die

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A Blonde Goes On "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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