A: What's that on your shoulder? B: A birthmark. A: How long have you had it? B: Don't know.

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God said onto john "come forth and receive eternal life" john came fifth and received a toaster.

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Call me for a good time! 402-805-2412, I do anal!;) -Martini Wyant

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Did you fall from heaven? Because I seem to notice fractures to your knee, spine and a possible permanent risk of poor posture.

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What do watermelons taste like? Sand.

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A blind man walks into a bar Backs up, and walks around it.

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why didn't Lebron James give me a fourth quarter?...he forgot his wallet at home and didn't have any spare change.

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When life throws you knives, you're probably dead

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Why is the post under me so funny? Because the boy won't be able to play the x box!

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Why did little Billy fall off his bike? Anwser: because a refridgator hit him.

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? It didn't because it had died from an uncaring mother and father that dumped it's corps on the side of the highway.

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justin Beiber is gay. what else is there to say...

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Your mom.

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Q: How do you surprise a newt? A: Jump on it while shouting, "slippers." This may not work as the newt may die before it has the chance to be surprised, however the slippers should be intact.

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Why did it take so long to find Osama Bin Laden? No idea. Bad military tactics. Was he found?

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facebook is like a refrigerator. you eat it.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

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Two muffins are being baked in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, "Man, it's starting to get really hot in here." The other muffin says, "MUFFINS CAN TALK?!"

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Bill: My brother died on 9/11 Steve: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Was he in one of the towers? Bill: Both. Steve: Both? Bill: He was in one tower when the first plane hit, so he ran over to warn everybody in the other tower and while he was in the other tower, he died of AIDS. Steve: LOL Bill: Quit your laughing, Steve, and make sweet, sweet love to me! Steve: It would be my pleasure! (While Bill and Steve made sweet, sweet love on that park bench, little did they know that a hundred miles away in a beautiful Los Angeles home, actor Jeff Goldblum was making himself a turkey sandwich...not too much mayo...just the way he likes it.)

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If you were a Transformer, you would be Optimus Fine.

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A car with four Mexicans drives off of a cliff. What's the bad news? They were my friends.

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knock knock who's there who who who who who what are you a retarded owl

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Some people are like Slinkies: they get really boring after a while.

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You wanna hear what's totally out of this world? The moon

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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