A farmer has 17 sheep standing in a field and all but 9 drop down and die. How many sheep are left? It doesn't matter. A CIA sniper guns the farmer down, along with his family and the remaining sheep. The other agents move in and remove all evidence that the government is experimenting with a new nerve agent.

How do you kill a cow while your carrying a gun Shoot him

A:Whats the air speed velocity of a swallow? B:What an african or English swallow? A:Well I don't know that.

Tell me a joke Tell me a joke! TELL ME A JOKE!!! ...Womens Rights

A boat sinks in the ocean, what does the sailor do? Nothing, he wasn't on the boat.

What is worse than torturing, "forcibly penetrate" and then slowly and painfully kill nine billion people? The Holocaust?

what do you call a white man in a black neighborhood a minority

Whats black,white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

Roses are red Violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's Cheese on toast

Whats black and white and says moo? A Dalmatian retriever with a voice box.

Oh," the boy says. "Well BUENOS DIAS to you too!!!

Why couldn't Little Timmy see the pirate movie? Because Little Timmy was blind.

Knock Knock! Come in.

What did the coach do to the player Coached the player

What do you call cheese thats not yours? Somebody elses cheese

What is Corey Jacobs favorite kind of sandwich? Big Jumbo Kahona Burger!

Why did the chicken cross the road? What does chicken mean?

Why did the chcicken cross the road? To get to the other side nl

Why was the Black man Running? Because he was trying to get in shape for the Olympics.

An asian, black man and a white guy are stranded in a desert with no food and no water, so what do they do Die

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall All the king's horses and all the king's men, went and made an omelette.

What do you do when you walk downstairs and see your TV floating? Call Ghostbusters.

I started a pottery course where the two instructors looked like Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze. The only other student looked like Whooping Goldberg. This teacher to student ratio proved invaluable as I am hoping to make a living as an artist and really appreciated all the extra attention.

This statement is false.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...