Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimer's Cheese and toast

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the girl fall off the swing Because she had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the boy get hit by the ice cream truck? The driver of the ice cream truck was drunk

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Did you hear the one about the nascar driver who couldn't pass his road test? No. It's true, he couldn't pass his road test.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

I'm not unemployed. I'm on sabbatical. Hey! Don't get all religous on me.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How do you call blond girl with no arms and no legs ? A victim of a tragic car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why is Osama Bin Laden scared of the dark? To be honest, I don't know, and I doubt you do either. Osama Bin Laden has been a fugitive on America's Top Ten Most Wanted list for over 10 years; there is no way that you could possibly know such personal information about him if the United States government can't even locate him and prosecute him for the heinous crimes he committed against the U.S. Don't ever lie to me again.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why did the man get a divorce? Because his wife had an affair.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what do you think when you see someone throw a man with no arms and legs into the ocean? chances of survival are minimal

thumb_up thumb_down -1

There are two angry guys in a park on their lunch break What do they do? They eat their sandwich and go back to work to settle a peace treaty.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A woman is getting in the shower but the the doorbell rings so she puts on her towel and gets the door a man is there asking for sugar. Then she gets back into the shower then the doorbell rang again so she puts on her towel and anwsers the door another man is there he asked for some batteries she gave him some and went back to the shower. Then she hears the doorbell again she thought since there wasn't anybody else that lived on her street she decided to just go to the door without her towel so she answers the door thinking the blindmans there and it was the police man.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A dwarf walked into a pizza shop and ordered a large pepperoni pizza advertised as $12.50. He gave some money to the man behind the counter who then said, "Sir, you're a little short." The dwarf replied, "My apologies, I thought I had given you a twenty." He gave the man behind the counter the difference he owed, took his pizza and left.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Who is big and stupid My brother

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the woman scream when she saw the mouse? Because she's afraid of technology.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The barman says "What is this? A joke?" They then proceed to rape the barman.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats blue, fuzzy and has little red dots all over? Beats me...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Today i saw 2 midgets walking.........now there hanging together.....in a tree.....by there necks,,,,...............I f***n hate midgets

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Is your refrigerator running? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

In which state does the Mississippi River flow in? Liquid.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

They didn't stop pulling my hair i didn't stop pulling the trigger

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the bus crash? Because the bus driver was a potato.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

So three Irish guys walk out of a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops