Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead.

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What's red but smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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were you expecting a joke

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Why did the stereo break? Cause little Johnny threw a bat at it.

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Situation: A bear is cutting a sunflower's hair Question: How many kangaroos does it take to do surgery on a meatball? Answer: Tomato. Because zebras eat twelve kiwis in a factory every February 29th.

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4 out of 5 Americans make up 80% of Americans

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What's black and blue and is scared to death? the kid in my trunk

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a slice of tomato A really bad joke

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What will your friend do after you kill him? Nothing, he is dead.

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Why was the boy sad? Because his mother and father had just disowned him.

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A man walked into a bar, he spilled his drink.

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A guy walked into a bar, ouch.

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69

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What' worse than random Holocaust jokes? The Holocaust

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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What has three legs and herpes? A male prostitute.

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Why do Native Americans own Casinos? Because it's a very profitable business situation.

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A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom says, "What? I'm a fungi." The bartender replies, "Exactly. That's a health hazard. The health department already gave two strikes and if I lose the bar my wife will divorce me."

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what did the man with no legs get for Christmas? A piano

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Knock, knock. Who's there? No one. You have no friends.

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What does a black guy do to a white girl when the lights go off and there's a bed in the room? They go to sleep so they can have enough energy to work their two jobs and provide for their family after they've been evicted from their home.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Sex.

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whats cold and in a box...have a guess

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How come Helen Keller couldn't drive? Because cars were not invented back then.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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