How do you make a plumber cry? Kill all his friends and family.

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What happens when you try to hand feed a shark You have one less hand

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Dyeing of cancer.

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a black guy walks into a park with a group of five other black guys. they then proceed to have a nice picnik and play frisbee with a little white boy.

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why did suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms why did suzie get hit by a bus? she was blind knock knock whos there? not suzie.

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What do you call a limbless woman on a beach? Sandy

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? Shoes

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Do you know what Stevie Wonder's house looks like? No. Well, neither does he.

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A mum and a dad were having guests round for dinner. The daughter overheard them arguing. Dad was calling mum a b*tch and mum was calling dad a b*stard. The daughter asked them what it meant and they just said, "oh, it just means ladies and gentlemen". Later, when mum was doing her makeup, she dropped it and said oh "sh*t". Daughter asked what it meant and mum replked "it's just another word for makeup". After that, dad dropped the turkey and said "oh, F*ck!" Daughter asked what it meant and he replied "its another word for cooking". When the guests arrived, the daughter answered the door, and said "hello b*tches and b*stards. Mums upstairs stuffing sh*t on her face and dads in the kitchen f*cking the turkey".

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whats deead and gone lewis`s dog. well now it is

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A zombie walks into a bar. It was shot by an M16 automatic rifle. The video game had zombies.

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I have Alzheimer's Hey i just met you

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Q:why is steven balmont gonna beat up mr fatty goral A:because hes a fat czech Shout out to my mandem lewis hall&moses

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the baby monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What's invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit farts. What's invisible and smells like rabbit farts? Carrots, if you're blind.

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What happens when a black guy roles over a speed-bump? I don't know. I have never tried it

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: The farmer decided it was too cruel to fence in the animal, however getting run over by a car was a fate... not worse than death because it died.

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What happened when the high school student had intercourse with his history teacher? orgasmic noises.

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How to shrink China's population in a few minutes? Nuke them all, simple.

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A special needs student walks into a girls change room, and is then escorted out unaware that what he did was socially unacceptable.

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A deaf man is listening to the radio. Think about it.

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What's blue and can't sing? Blue.

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When was George Washington born? Who the hell knows. He's older than dirt.

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How did the little boy with cancer run in his running race??? Very Well....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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