Whats better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded

Whats funny about a car crash? If a bowl of soup is talking.

Why do they call it "Unsweetened Tea?" Did they put sugar in it and then take it back out again?

My dog got out of it's cage. So I found it and be the shit out of

Why did the man not come out of the closet? He wanted to stay in narnia.

Whats white and bad for your teeth? A refridgerator

Why did the man drink a glass of water? Why not?

What three letters alter boys into men and girls into women? The letter containing their bank card, the letter containing their national insurance card and the letter accepting them into a job or higher education placement.

Why did the little girl stop licking her Popsicle? A psychopath cut off her tongue.

what does lady gaga and a vacuum have in common? nothing. lady gaga is a human and the other is a house hold item.

Roses are Grey Violets are Grey I am a dog.

Imagine yourself in a box with no windows and no doors. How do you get out? Stop imagining.

How do you teach a kid to ski you strap it to the back of a polar bear

How does a penguin make pancakes out of skis? Purple because it's the best.

One muffin doesn't say anything to another muffin while baking in an oven because they lack the organs necessary to attain properties of speech and thought

My dog has no nose, so how does it smell? It can't, I just told you it has no nose.

How do you kill a blonde? Kick her off a cliff.

Hey I just met you and this is crazy, but i have Alzheimer's. Hey i just met you.

Q: What's the difference between lucky charms and a baby? A: One is magically delicious and the other is a breakfast serial.

Why did moral man lose his superpowers? Because he read the pointless superpowers section and realized its pointless... Moral: yeah this is my power... :(

Q:Why did the man have a lot of Hoes? A: He was an experienced Agriculturalist.

What do a Jew and a whale have in common? They're both Jewish. Except the whale.

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

why did the homosexual man cross the road? to get to his gay partner.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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