whats the difference between a Jew and Santa Santa's magical.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's worse than a Wasp at a picnic? Two wasps at a picnic. What's worse than two wasps at a picnic? A serial rapist. What's worse that a serial rapist? Three wasps at a picnic.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

roses are red, violets are fine, you be the six, and I'll be the nine.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who Doctor Octagonapus! BLAAAUUUUGGGHHHH

thumb_up thumb_down -16

roses are red, violets are blue, f*** you wh*re

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you say to a hamster? 42 and weasels

thumb_up thumb_down -9

i read the terms of service when i posted this

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Do you ever feel, like a plastic bag? No, because plastic bags are man-made inanimate objects.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you keep children off your lawn? Molest them

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's worse than finding 16 dead babies in a tree? Finding 1 dead baby in 16 trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. Question is, how did they get in there?

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What is the saddest part of a Jew's life? The fact that every single day the world turns more and more 'jokingly' anti-semetic until the point that the Jewish people have become so overwhelmed by depression that they begin committing suicide until the point of Jewish extinction.

thumb_up thumb_down -79

i like turtals and kids

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Easy, you get a phone with a recorder that rather than playing a "please leave a message after the tone", plays the same tune as if the phone was still not picked up. Now tell me here and now, because I wont waste more time on you, what part did you play in this? Jenny Chatterton? Another one of your pseudonyms? What the fuck did you think would happen? You live in the Uk, london, so, tell me everything, or I will share every single detail here.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A man walks into a bar. Then he buys a beer.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you keep a dog from chasing it's tail? cut off it's legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What's a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A black and a white man enter the bar all the people jump on the black guy to beat him up when the white guy is geting free vodka

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what do you get when you cross a scotsman who doe'snt know anything about football,and a indian who doe'snt anything about football .blackburn rovers , and a good night out.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man said lol, I said lol back. Then he started to beat me up for repeating his phrase!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's green, yellow, and red? A traffic light

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why cant stevie wonder see? He is blind

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call a dead guy under the ocean? Murder.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops