What's brown, smells like shit, and are annoying as hell? Taking shits

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How does a black man put puzzles together? First, he locates the four corners. Next, he begins filling in the sides. Finally, he uses the picture on the box to fill in the center. It can be a very tedious process if he is not paying attention.

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People spending hours typing nothing but cus words? Who does that?

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How do you make a gorilla stop chasing you? You shoot him.

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A man walks into a bar. He is now passed out on the ground. (TD)

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Recycling anti-jokes

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Why was the boy sad? He was harassed by his mum who died in the 1800's and went into a depressive state in which he drove himself to death using a pair of pliers and a rechargeable battery. No, he really just stubbed his toe.

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1.....2.....3.....boom you died

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sdjhkferiughefljbdfnjkbhdfghlwu24537? 928ndfnfwdjfhoinbv;nop[

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Why did the blond get fired from her job at the M&M factory? Because she threw out all the M&M's with W's on them.

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What's worse than winning a gold medal at the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Wife, "Wake up... i think there's someone in the house, do something... go downstairs and have a look!" Husband, "Do it yourself." Wife, "You what? You can't expect a woman to fight off an intruder..." Husband, "You women wanted equal rights so here you go, do it yourself."

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Why don't vampires like garlic? Every vampires was raped by a garlic salesman.

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Your momma's so fat she has diabetes and my have to get one of her legs amputated. It's actually quite sad.

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Why did the black man wear a coat, shirt, pants, and underwear on a rainy day? Because he didn't want to be naked.

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What do you call it when you lend money to a bison? Unitelligent, because bison do not have the ability to purchase things with money so it will most likely just eat the money.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Holocaust jokes aren't funny. Anne Frankly, I do not stand for them.

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Q. Why did the woman cross the road? A. Who cares, what was she doing out of the kitchen

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why did the little boy drop his ice cream cone? because he was hit by the planes that hit twin towers

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender can you throw me a beer and the bartender says yes and he throws him the beer and the man says I can't catch I have the smallest hands in the world and the bartender says go across the street there is a guineas book of world record store an check if you h e the smallest hands and he does so the next day he goes back and asks for another beer and the bartender throws him a beer and say I cant catch cause I have the smallest feet in the world and he goes across the street and checks and he does and then the third day he goes back to the bar and asks for a beer and the bartendor throws him another beer and says I can't catch I have the smallest penis in the world so he goes to the guiness book o world record store and then goes bac to the bar and asks..... Who's austin bell?????

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He orders a drink successfully, pays, and leaves. Three weeks later he dies tragically.

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How many fingers do u have? 11 Start with left pinky count 10,9,8,7,6 then 6+5=11

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How many alzheimers patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? To get to the other side

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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