How does Hitler tie his shoes? With little Nazis.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's long, brown, and in the toilet? The chocolate bar I just threw in the toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had a gun...

thumb_up thumb_down -24

your mother is a well respected woman in society and makes delicious cookies.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whats the deal with airline food? I dont know, the cost is included in the plane ticket

thumb_up thumb_down -6

you know what they say... hydrate or die

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what did the one girl say to the other girl? i like your shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did one umbrella say to the other umbrella? Nothing, umbrellas cannot instigate a conversation, because they cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What happens when an alien goes out in the rain It gets wet

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the milkman die? Because everyone dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the mentally retarted student get on his SAT? Drool

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender immediately shoots it in the face with a double barrel shotgun, ending the rabid animal's life

thumb_up thumb_down -9

roses are red, vilots are blue wan't you in my bed if you know what i mean ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim walk into a bar and have a friendly argument over their religious beliefs.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the little boy cry and run home from the store? Because the store was out of pickles.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because 2.5 million children in the world are suffering from HIV/AIDs.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

(Pretend that your adopted, and no one loves you) Knock Knock Who's there? Not your parents.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 beat the crap out of 8.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

An american man, chinese man, black man, and a Mexican man walk into a bar. The american man says i want to show you guys a trick, so they go to the empire state building and the american man jumps off the side and comes back up alive. He tells them i will do it one more time, watch closely. So he jumps off and comes back alive. The american guy tells the chinese man to do it. So the chinese guy jumps off and dies. Then the american guy tells the mexican to jumps off, sonhe does it. The mexican man dies and the black guy is told to do it and he is afraid, but still does it, he dies. The american man goes back to the bar and the barkeep says "Superman you can be a real dick when your drunk!"

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the chicken go down the road? He was in a KFC truck and was headed to his death...

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did Little Billy fall off the swing? He got hit by a washing machine.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops