A man walks into a bar. Suddenly, he is filled with a strange feeling, as if his life is somehow the subject of a stupid joke. He walks back out of the bar and consults a psychiatrist.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Well neither has he.

What did the owl say when it fell out of the tree? Nothing. Owls don't talk.

What do you call a bunch of black people hanging out in a barn? African American farmers socializing.

Two guys walk into a bat, they have a couple drinks then go home, one crashed and died in a horrible drunk driving accident. The other, who took a cab, went home and viciously beat his wife.

What's clear and smells like alcohol? Probably alcohol, genius.

What's the difference between a pizza and a baby? I don't stab pizza 47 times in the chest with a chainsaw.

Who Lives in a Pineapple Under the Sea? No one, its physically impossible to live in a fruit and breathe under water

Why was the blonde crying? She had just been raped by a 10-foot praying mantis.

There's two bears in the shower. One bear says "pass the soap". The other bear says "no soap. Radio".

Why did the chicken cross the road? He had to get to the other side.

wanna hear a joke?... Womens rights

What did the first ant say to the second ant? Nothing. Ants are incapable of communicating via speech.

A man asked another man what he was doing the next day. The man then proceeded to tell him that he had not intended on having any plans due to the fact that he was planning on killing himself within the next twenty three hours.

A black man walks into a bar and is proptly told to leave. He proceeds to sue the bar owner, then buys the bar and turns it into a community center that helps at risk children.

"knock knock" "who's there" "Chuck" "Get out of here Chuck I hate you!"

why did hitler hate the jews... because the nazies had to pay the gas bill

Jacob loves stroking his gf's doodle every lunch break. He was embarrased cause it was bigger than his.

What's big and black? An ant i lied about in being big

whats the difference between ian bothom and david gower? shredded wheat.

How do you stop a Polish army on horseback? With artillery.

What did the homicidal maniac say to his 13th victim? Nothing, she was dead at the time.

Why did Hitler Commit suicide? Because he was completely depressed and overwhelmed by the fact he had lost World War II.

What did batman say to robin before they got into the car? Get in the car.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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