Whats The difference between a soccer mom and a pit bull? One's a dog ones a human. 363\

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What do superheroes say after they save someone? Whatever the hell they want.

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A family walks into a talent agent's office. They do a cute family-friendly performance that they call "The Aristocrats."

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what color is blue? green

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Who was worse than Hitler? Justin Bieber

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Two women were sitting in silence.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have arms.

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Q.Why did the black man go to college? A. What does his race have to do with anything?

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? Because it was white

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Two Japanese men walked out of a bar. They drowned.

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Whats worse than getting punched in the balls? Getting punched in the balls twice.

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What happens when you play a country song backwards? Gibberish.

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What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

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A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation is known as fishing for compliments. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

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What did the librarian say to the three black men in the library? Nothing. Those three men were Harvard graduates and were very respective of libraries, and thier policies.

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mental kid

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What did the alphabetical soup spell for little Bobby? U gOt SUzie prEgnant ....... aGaiN

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Your mamma is so fat that she went on a diet.

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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What did the kid tell his father? Go away, I'm watching elmo!

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite

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What is long, hard and comes out of a gay persons bum? poo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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