What did the alien discuss with the other alien? Something we discussed.

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How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

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What cheese is not yours? The one that you didn't buy.

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Whats the difference between a woman and a fridge? A fridge doesn't fart when you take your meat out!

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What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

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what do you call an arse bandit? lady gaga's tanning salon attendants 3rd cousins dog chauffeur, roberto

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whats 2+2? 4

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Why did the black guy smell so bad? Because he accidently jumped into a pool of garbage disposal.

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A) why did the black guy leave the bar B) cause he was tired and wanted to go home

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knock knock who's there? the man the man who? the man who murdered your whole family

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What's worse than dropping a dollar down the drain? Getting constantly tortured for hours non-stop by getting your eyebrows plucked out one by one and getting your teeth pulled out and getting your arms cut open by a razor and getting your nose twisted off and getting your nipples ripped off by a pair of pliers and getting your toenails scraped off by a knife and getting a needle shoved into your eyes and getting a sword stuffed up your arse and getting your penis split in two like a hotdog and getting your balls smashed up by a sledgehammer so the sperm inside goes everywhere. I think that would be worse than dropping a dollar down the drain.

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why did the blonde fall down a mineshaft? Beacuse the rapist needed somewhere to hide the body

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Q. What is small, ugly and severely asthmatic? A. My younger brother. Jimmy.

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If you can't see what I see... You must be blind. If you can see what I see... Well I can't be blind because I have been able to see all my life!

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Why was the old lady sad? Her husband was raped by an angry gallon of milk.

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Robocop The Reboot reboot. Watch as The friendly robot named Murphy, is violently broken down by a horrible shower of water, the only means to save him is to transfer his data into a human. He awakens again as Robofriendlydude (starring Adam Sandler) as a robot learns to love, learns to share, learns to dance with children in this years Reboot of the classic love comedy Robocop. PG-3 "So good I could only watch five seconds of it" Rotten potatoes. 99 percent fresh. "Kill me with a chainsaw" Honest reviews. "AWESOME!" Dishonest reviews "Makes Twilight seem like the better lovestory" Everyone.

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"hey bro" "WHATS UP" "nothin..... I heard you had your first bj yesterday." "YEAH!!" "how'd it taste?" ........

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no hands.

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Wait, I am sleepy as the world which spawned you Nero, but which comment is mine again?

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Hey I just met? you and this is crazy I have alzheimers Hey I just met you

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A hemophiliac walks into a bar. Then he dies of internal bleeding.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was late for its laser bypass surgery.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead.

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A man walks into a bar. His alcohol dependency is tearing his family apart.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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