Roses are red my name is dave this poem makes no bloody sense microwave

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What colour is an orange? Orange. What did you expect?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the boy die? He got hit by the school bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why did the chicken cross the road? ....Because based on modern mathematics the shortest distance between two points is a straight line.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the rabbit like to wear shoes? It doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What is black, has either black or yellow stripes, and cannot climb trees? A parking lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

NO ONE LIKES YOU!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Who wants $300? Me too.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Yo mamas so fat, that she brought a spoon to the super bowl!

thumb_up thumb_down

An American, a Mexican, and a Chinese person are in an airplane. The three of them ponder throwing someone out for a racist reason, but decide to fly to the destination.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Your pathetic humanity. Deux. Dios Gud God etc. Moral: You cannot even translate the name of his very being correctly, and you expect the bible to be translated right... Laught now, because I shall silence you soon enough...

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why was the black guy sitting in the back of the bus? Because there were no more seats available in the front.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what is like a duck and quacks ? A duck.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A black man and a mexican are in a car. Whos driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful time. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What happens when you yell at people who have high blood pressure? They might get heart attacks & die.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you know your sister is on her period? - Your dad´s dick tastes like blood.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock knock. Its open.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How many apples come from trees? None, not a single one of em'

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Text this number just cuz 16305208722

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I man sees a shooting star and makes a wish. Nothing happens as shooting stars are incapable of granting wishes.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? Because he uses the best ingredients.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A hippie gets on a bus and greets the bus driver in a nice fashion Once the bus stops at his bus stop he thanks the bus driver and gets off the bus

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What do you call a black person in 1780? A slave mostly...

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops