How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was the black man in Jail? He works there as a correctional officer.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber where walking in New York . They both get ice cream... then bieber gets hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down

how do you torched helen Keller? put her Ina round room and tell her the bathroom is around the corner

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Josh Groban, John Mayer, Ben Folds and Nick Cave are at an underground club that specialises in lithuanian folk music and siberian vodka. end of story

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the kid with no arms get for Christmas? A pair of protesthic arms which changed his life forever

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Hello.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

So a Dog walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a glass of skotch, the bartender realizes he must be dreaming. At that very moment he realises he is in a lucid dream. Since this is the case he decides to murder his wife who is in bed right next to him as an expiriment. Since its a lucid dream it doesnt matter. Next he goes down to the fridge and pulls out some old pizza. He sits down for about half an hour eating it along with a box of tuis that also magically appeared in his fridge. Then he goes outside steals the neighbours car takes it for a ride to his Sister-In-Laws house who he has always wanted to root. He goes over breaks the window with his hand. The lucid dream feels so real to him because he pains from the glass in his hand and then he goes up stairs finds his sister-in-law sleeping so he hops into bed with her. At the same moment the police arrive because they followed him from his home were they recieved complants they heard him kill his wife. Everything starts to turn into a nightmare, so scared he trys to make himself wake up. However he cannot. This is not a lucid dream. This is reality. Pizza was in his fridge because he had it for dinner the night before, Beer did not magically appear. his wife had bought it when she went gorccery shopping. He killed his wife, then stole his neighbours car and attempted to rape his Sister-in-law. So now he is going to jail. And no lawyer wants to take up the case so this man is doomed. No hope at all of ever being a free man again

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q. Why did Justin Beiber fall off the ladder? A. He was trying to reach puberty

thumb_up thumb_down -9

did you hear about the two peanuts walking down the street? one was raped.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

how do you make a cow float Give it 10000 balloons

thumb_up thumb_down -109

What's black and shouldn't have the right to vote? Ants

thumb_up thumb_down -21

I hate it when people talk about concentration camps... my grandad died in one He fell off the guard tower

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you kill a Jewish person? You shoot him multiple times in the face

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q. what has one million arms and tells it to people A.a liar

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did Taylor say to the other Taylor? Hi, my name is Taylor

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How many black people does it take to tar a roof? Just one. Unless he wants to do it in a shorter amount of time and calls a few friends to help him.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What does a Jew do when he finds money on the street? He picks it up and is probably happy it was there.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are red Violets are blue You are green Curse you!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Where's the best place to buy moon bars? Michael Toal

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did the retarded handicap say to the bully who called him the biggest retard in the world? "atleast I didn't make SOPA"

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why didn't the lady answer the phone? She is deaf and mute.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What is black and has no education A tire.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

?Three men walk in to a bar. one walks with a limp. The other two make fun of him and joke of his inability to walk as well as others around him.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops