How do you steal candy from a baby? You ask nicely.

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How many gays does it take to turn a lightbulb? 1

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Four homosexuals walk into a bar. They notice that there's only one stool left at the bar itself. They sat at a table with four chairs. They had a delightful time.

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How many babies does it take to paint a barn? It depends on how hard you throw them

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What's orange and can fly through walls? A Magic Orange.

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Q: Why was George Washington buried on a hill? A: Because he's dead.

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9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.

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What do you get when you cross a hippo with a dishwasher? 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7

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How many women does it take to unscrew a light bulb? Usually just one, and a ladder.

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How do u get an A on your test. U lock your teacher in the closet.

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How do you get blood from a stone? Put it in a snowball.

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What's worse than having embaracing parents? A: they are of the same sex

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Once, a woman told her son to be a peach and fetch some sugar. Little did she know that a genie heard her. The next day, she was horrified to find her son gone and a peach in his bed.

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What happens when u mix water and soda? You get watery soda

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What did the bird say on twitter? Tweet tweet.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? It depends on their painting skills.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

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Mexicans don't use lightbulbs because they can't afford them.

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how do you scare a mexican? You dress up as a bar of soap.

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If you play a Justin Bieber album backwards, I swear you can hear satanic messages... but even worse, if you play it forward, you hear Justin Bieber.

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whats the difference between a chicken and a grape? there both green exept for the chicken

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your mom is so old, she is often confused for your grandmother.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walked into a prison. A gang stopped them, and said: Hey, want to play a game? Before they could run away, the gang leader told them the rules. You go over there and stand by the wall. You close your eyes, and then we fire a shotgun in your direction. The last one alive wins. They push the brunette onto the wall. She closes her eyes because she knows she's about to die and doesn't want her friends to see her crying. The gun goes off, and she falls to the ground, dead. They pull away her dead body. They decide it's the redhead's turn next. They move her onto the wall. Being the brightest one in the bunch, she tries to keep her eyes open. However, she blinks. The gun goes off, and she falls to the ground, dead. They pull away her dead body. Then the blonde bursts out laughing. "Your friends are dead. And you're about to die. Do you find that funny?" They ask. She answers. "No. It's just- I won the game!"

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What's worse than a worm in your holocaust? An apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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