what does a blue watermelon and a cactus that looks like a penis have in common? orange ya glad i didn't say banana!

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How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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If it bothers you? I am just saying that, fucking alright ill be slightly less cruel, I mean come on! It does not matter shit what others think! If someone ever tries to assault you because you are associated with me (yeah it happens), I will stand in front of you and KILL (and possibly rape) THEM!

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Whats funnier than throwing a baby off the top of a building? The sound it makes when it hits the ground.

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when do you go to heaven? Never, it doesn't exist.

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If a large bear falls out of a tree, why would a giraffe also eat the cheese?

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a man i knew who was a real jerk was about to drive home drunk. i was trying to stop him, but then he punched me in the face. i let him through. he died that night. i texted him all the way

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What's black an white and red all over? Two dead babies, one African American and one Caucasian split in half by a chainsaw.

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What do you call a dog with no legs Nothing it won't come

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What did the tree say to the boy? Nothing. As i recall, trees are unable to speak and or show signs of emotion.

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whats fun about the governement's jokes? nothing, they are actually serious

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Why did the man stop having seizure? Because his condition was recognized and he was properly medicated.

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Why do ducks fly south for the winter? because its to far to waddle

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How do you get an Asian man to build you a computer? Pay him a reasonable amount of money

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A blonde takes a test. She scores higher than her Asian friend.

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what do you get when you cross a puma and a turkey? A horrible abomination of life that begs to be killed.

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What does a gay horse eat? Carrots

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Why can't you get a bull to talk? Because it felt like beating the shit out of you and mounting you.

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How do you paint a wall red? Throw a baby at it.

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What do you call a room full of jewish women with yeast infections? The waiting room of a gynecologists office, potentially in some sort of Jewish district

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Q How do you make the fire fighter sad? A Kill his dog

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What do the words lightbulb and lightweight have in common? The word light is in both words. Other than that absolutely nothing.

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You're momma's so fat..Oh wait she's not.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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