Steve is getting paid $29.50 to bounce a ball Steve is getting fired monday

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Who do u talk to when everyone is ignoring you? Nobody will talk to you so what's the point?

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A blond, a brunette, and a red-head are standing on the edge of a cliff. They then realize how dangerous that is and proceed to back away and view the canyon at a safe distance.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you say if you wake up and see your television floating around at night? Say,"I should probably get to sleep. This is probably an effect of sleep deprivation."

thumb_up thumb_down -40

what did little johnny scream at the xbox after he lost a game? god what the hell! Muskcrat143 i told u to cover my back when i had my predator missile! now my covers blown and i lost my killstreak! god u suck so much and Hippo099 why didn't u kill them before they got a killstreak like wtf!!! i told u to use ur semtex cause i had a claymore set down jeez u guys suck i'm leaving.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

how did helen keller's parents punish her? stuck a plunger in the toilet

thumb_up thumb_down -12

this girl died

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the 80 year old man lose his vision? Because he recently blew his head off.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a new born baby ? Whatever name you and your partner have agreed upon after months of sifting through baby names.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what do you call a joke that is not a joke? not a joke

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the priest molest the small boy? Because he can.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the father leave work early on his son's birthday? He was rushed to the hospital after facing a severe heart attack due to a history of cardiovascular disease in his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man walks into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian quickly picks out such a book and hands it to him, because to deny him the book would break the conventions of a library.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's purple and green and has a criminal record including two counts of armed robbery, five counts of possession with intent to sell, one count of attempted murder, several citations for underage drinking, and a parking ticket? Barney, but ignore all that other stuff. His record was expunged.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's the difference between a red ball and a blue ball? There both blue but the red one

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what Did The Cow Say To The Chicken, Moo

thumb_up thumb_down -1

That moment when you try and finger your girlfriend and there no hole......and you start questioning your sexuality

thumb_up thumb_down -8

The hooker walks into a bar wearing a vest and tight denim shorts. A drunken man proceeds in trying to have his way with her. He is thrown out for sexual mis-conduct and is currently waiting for his court date.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was the prostitute unsuccessful? because she had no vagina

thumb_up thumb_down +8

The funniest tragedy in his young life...wasn't funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the hipster burn his mouth on a piece of pizza? Because the pizza was on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

roses are red violents are blue your dad is gay soon it all be you !

thumb_up thumb_down +9

hohifooncuiohicvsdhn ioshd

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How do you kill half of Mexico? You use nuclear weapons in major cities.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops