How may Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side!

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Two black guys are in an elevator, one guy gets off at the sixth floor, and the other on the eighth. And thats it.

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I walked into an elevator with Ray Rice...

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What do you call a boy with no arms and legs? Simply a pillow

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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Why did it rain happiness? The people who wrote the jokes above and below this one exploded.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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What do kittens and napkins have in common? You can sneeze into both of them except the kitten doesn't like it

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Why was George Washington buried in Virginia? Because he was dead.

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An owl and a squirrel were sitting on a tree branch. An acorn fell on the squirrel's head and surprised, the owl moved its head 3.276 degrees to the right. The squirrel apologized for the inconvenience, but the owl would not listen, so flew off to buy a ferry to help children with terminal illnesses get to school.

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Doctor: I have good news and bad news. The good news is that your parents survived the car accident. Kid: And the bad news is? Doctor: I have a horrible sense of humor, they're both dead. I'm so sorry.

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A: Knock knock B: Who's there? A: A serial killer B: I don't feel comfortable opening the door

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How do you get a blonde's attention? Throw deodorant at her until she looks.

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Dude? What. Dude? What! Wheres my car?

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Why did the man not want to be a tree? Because he didn't want to.

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what's the difference between a chicken and a grape? They're both purple........ except for the chicken

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What did the table say to the human? Nothing, tables don't talk.

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What did the man say to his wife when he bought a dog? I bought a dog.

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Mom: what does IDK, LY, and TTYL mean? Son: I don't know, love you, and talk to you later. Mom: OK, I'll ask your sister.

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A man walks into a barn the n was not visible

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why dont you hit a black kid on a bike? its probably your bike.

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A tiger walks into bar. He orders a drink and leaves. The tiger's name was Tony the tiger," It was just a man wearing a costume for the cereal company.

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200,000 people are homeless! ...this year in america!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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