What's the difference between a hundred dead babies and a porsche? A porsche is a car.

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What did the hammer say to the drill? Nothing, they don't talk stupid.

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what do you call a seagull that flies over the bay? -a seagull

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A man walked into a bar. He sustained a mild concussion and a brusied pelvis

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What's black and has the texture of tar? Molasses

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Q. How do you kill a dumb blonde? A. Shoot her.

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You know the drill, the world is not as black and white as it was before, just because we are not on the same side, does not make us enemies either. As for whatever is going on, I can assure you I had nothing to do with the fall of the first underground, and neither will I make sure whatever you scraped together, large or small falls either, I realize I should have thought this trough some more, but we had little time to act on this one.

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How did the prisoner escape from prison? He asked to leave.

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You know you are really drunk if your blood alcohol Is higher than .08

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Refridgerator.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

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wanna hear a joke? asians with t i t s

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Your Mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late, great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

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Q; Why to did the chef jump off of a cliff wearing an Elmo suit? A; Because he felt like it. It;s a free country

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Why did the gorilla have big nostrils? Because it was a trait passed on to him from his biological father.

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The horse did not reply because he was incapable of speech.

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What word is always spelled wrongly? None of them. Every word has been spelled right at some point.

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Who the hell is Femi Otedola?

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Did you hear about the cow that could fly? Me either

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why did the plane crash the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Where is aodhan's ma? Jail, she was cought with a bag full of the white powder.

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Two Blondes walk into a bar. They each enjoy a refreshing drink before heading home to greet their family

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What is red and tastes like parsley? Red Parsley

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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