What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Someone else's cheese.

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Roses are red Violets are blue

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Bob is asleep. Knock knock. Whos there? NOT BOB

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what did the cat say to the potato? meow

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There are 3 Chinese guys migrating to the USA, Chu, Bu and Fu. . Chu added a 'ck' to? his name and became Chuck Bu did the same thing and became Buck. Fu got sent back to china

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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What is black and white and red all over? Zebra domestic violence isn't funny.

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Why was the baby crying? Because he was tied to a railroad track. How did the baby die? He had a bomb strapped to him. How did the bomb explode? It got ran over by a train.

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Knock Knock whose there your biological parents REALLY No

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three peanuts where walking down a dark alley, one was asalted

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A dad is very proud of his son for just having graduated preschool. he tells him son, ill get you anything you want. he says i want a pink pingpong ball. the dad is confused but he does it anyway. the next year, he graduates kindergarten. the dad asks the same question. the son this time says i want 10 pink pingpong balls. so the dad, very confused, does it. 5 years later, he graduates elementary school. this time he says 100 pink pingpong balls. high school the dad says cmon your going to college ANYTHING! A CAR? A HOUSE? no i want 1,000 pink pingpong balls. the kid then goes to college and 4 years later and majors in african relief. the dad is very proud but he says. lemme guess? 10,000 pink ping pong balls? YEP. the kid goes to africa to help out because he's a good person. he then meets his wife helping out there also. they get married and the dad flies out to africa to see the wedding. he then knows that he needs 100,000 pink pingpong balls shipped in. the dad goes back to the US and 9 months later finds out that he is a grandfather. he ships 1,000,000 pink ping pong balls into africa. a few years later he finds out that his son contracted a rare african disease and is going to die very soon. now the father is deeply in debt from all the ping pong balls, so his community helps him raise money to go to africa. he meets his son on his death bed. and they talk for a long time. the dad finally says. yknow son i really need to ask you, why did you ask for all those ping pong balls? the son says: "Well dad, I--" and then he dies

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A used condom filled with water and left on a radiator makes an ideal and inexpensive lava lamp.

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why did a latino decide to eat green apple? i don't know that's what i'm asking

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A thief walks into a bank. He has an account there and withdraws 200 bucks.

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How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

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What is White on Top and Black on bottom? Micheal Jackson.

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Your mother is so ugly, her genes were passed down through two generations, and now your children are of a similar caliber of ugliness. I'm so sorry.

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What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? Glasses

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Q. The square root of 69 is 8 something, right? A. Yes, to be exact it is 8.30662386.

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Q: How many nuns does it take to eat a dead racoon? A: 2

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whats the best thing ever to happen to chuk norris ? he was born !!!!

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What do you call Ed Milliband after he's been decapitated? Dead Milliband.

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Q. bob had 93 chocolate bars and ate 74 what does he have now? A. diabetes

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Why did sally fall off the swings? She didn't have any arms. Knock Knock, Who's there? Not Sally, she doesn't have any arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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