What did the monkey say to the Pope and the Queen? Good evening, Your Holiness. Good evening, Your Majesty,

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Two giant paint bubbles!

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What's black and white, and red all over ? An interracial couple who were both gruesomely decapitated in a freak car accident.

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A man walks into a bar, orders a few drinks and becomes drunk. the bartender calls a taxi and the man is driven home.

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What happened to Kim when she went swimming? She didn't, she doesn't know how to swim.

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Roses are red, violetsvare blue, I have aids, so do you

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Who let the dogs out? The dog's owner.

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Hey, Batman Yeah? Knock Knock Who's there? Not your parents!

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Cat ate a battery, did volts.

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So a Dog walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a glass of skotch, the bartender realizes he must be dreaming. At that very moment he realises he is in a lucid dream. Since this is the case he decides to murder his wife who is in bed right next to him as an expiriment. Since its a lucid dream it doesnt matter. Next he goes down to the fridge and pulls out some old pizza. He sits down for about half an hour eating it along with a box of tuis that also magically appeared in his fridge. Then he goes outside steals the neighbours car takes it for a ride to his Sister-In-Laws house who he has always wanted to root. He goes over breaks the window with his hand. The lucid dream feels so real to him because he pains from the glass in his hand and then he goes up stairs finds his sister-in-law sleeping so he hops into bed with her. At the same moment the police arrive because they followed him from his home were they recieved complants they heard him kill his wife. Everything starts to turn into a nightmare, so scared he trys to make himself wake up. However he cannot. This is not a lucid dream. This is reality. Pizza was in his fridge because he had it for dinner the night before, Beer did not magically appear. his wife had bought it when she went gorccery shopping. He killed his wife, then stole his neighbours car and attempted to rape his Sister-in-law. So now he is going to jail. And no lawyer wants to take up the case so this man is doomed. No hope at all of ever being a free man again

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3 blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The 1 blonde says they're deer tracks. The 2 blonde says they're elk tracks. The 3 blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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What do you call a black man that likes potatoes? Whatever his name is.

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Pen15

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I live in a very rural area, so it's not easy to just go to the store and pick something up. I try to find out how to do things with the stuff I have on hand, so I Googled spot remover, but there are only pictures of stain cleaners. Please help. Spot has rabies.

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Wanna hear a funny joke? Look at the next joke.

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How do you give an 80 year old man a heart attack? Hold a gun to his head

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? THE CHICKEN!

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What does the black guy say to his black friend? "I like Watermelon, Grape Drink, and Fried Chicken.

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What has 2 brown legs and 2 gray legs? An elephant with diarrhea.

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What did one cat say to another? Cats cant talk

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? He looked at his gas bill.

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knock knock your gay

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What do you get when you combine a potato and an apple? A nice Apple Potato Souffle...

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Jennifer Kim is the nicest person I have ever met, everyone loves her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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