Why did the terminal cancer patient die? Because he fell of the stairs with his wheelchair.

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

Hi Shelby!!

You know whats funny? A man cooking dinner.

A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

What's worse than a mentally retarded boy screaming in your ear while your sitting in the waiting room at the doctors? 2 retarded boys screaming in your ears while your sitting in the waiting room at the doctors.

what do you call a black pilot? A) a pilot

So 2 apples are having sex, and one apple sais to the other, I got worms.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender who recently got out of federal prison after a 20 year sentence.

Who would win Coolio or Vannlia Ice? nieth because Chuck Norris did a round house kick.

You- I came up with a new word! Friend- What is it? You- Plagiarism.

how do you get a blue waffle? paint your vagina blue

What is a 3 legged dog? It's still a dog! Sheesh

What did the doctor say to the camel with no hump? You're a horse.

That awkward moment were your giving your girlfriend a blowjob then you realize your giving your girlfriend a blowjob.

What's the difference between a teacher and a train? A lot.

what do get when you throw a penny in between a jew and a mexican? nothing besides one less penny

Why did the chicken cross the road? I have no idea, and neither does the chicken, for chickens do not possess the ability to reason.

What's the difference between a black man and a gorilla? One is a black man and the other is a gorilla.

What's worse than scraping your knee? Getting raped mercilessly by Ronald McDonald.

How do you confuse an idiot? By confusing an idiot.

What do you call a person who drinks beer a lot? Alcohol abuser.

(In a job interview) Interviewer: Name a time when you've failed sometime Me: I failed an HIV test last June, anything else?

Roses are red. Violets are blue.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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