Hello

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the boy say to the Vietnam veteran? Where are your legs?

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? He's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's worse than finding out your husbands gay...........finding out he's gay with your brother"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the 5 cent store clerk say to the customer? That will be 5 cents.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

42, that is all

thumb_up thumb_down -14

, , /^\ ___ /^\_/ `...' /` ,__\ ,' ~ ( ,___\ ,, ., \ \___ \\\ .'.' .-. ) .'.-\\\`.`. '.-. ( / (==== ."". ( o ) \ ,/u `~~~'| / `-' ) "")^u ^u^|~| `""". ~_ / /^u ^u ^\~\ ". \\ _ /u^ u ^u ~\ ". \\ ( \ )^ ^U ^U ^U\~\ ". \\ (_ (\ /^U ^ ^U ^U ~| ". `\ (_ _ \ )U ^ U^ ^U ^|~| ". `\. (_ = _(\ \^ U ^U ^ U^ ~| ".`.; (_ -( _\_)U ^ ^ U^ ^|~| "" (_ = ( ^ U^ U^ ^ U ~| (_ - ( ~ = ^ U ^U U ^|~/ (_ = (_^U^ ^ U^ U / (_- ~_(/ \^ U^ ^U^," (_ = _/ |^ u^u." (_ (/ |u^ u.( (__/ )^u^ u/ /u^ u^( |^ u^ u/ |u^ u^( ____ |^u^ u( .-' `-, \^u ^ \ / ' .---. \ \^ u^u\ | ' ` ; | \u^u^u:` . `-' ; | `-.^ u`._ _.'^'./ "-.^.-```_=~._/ `"------"' Seahorse

thumb_up thumb_down +40

roses are red, violets are blue, my son is gay, f**k my life...

thumb_up thumb_down -22

The 70's called. They had the wrong number.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why dont dinosaurs speak english? Because a meteor hit the earth and ran them into extinction

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How would you punish Helen Keller? Make her read a basketball.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

I walked across a lake once. Someone said "JESUS CHRIST!" to which I replied with "YES?"

thumb_up thumb_down -55

What is the difference between a joke, and an antijoke? A joke is actually funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -109

Roses are Red, Violets are blue, I'm a Schizophrenic And so am I

thumb_up thumb_down +1,569

What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why is paper white? Cause that's how they make paper.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats the opposite of purple? Your adopted

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats worse than the holocaust? Finding an apple in your worm.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A Pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what did the chocolate bar say to the ice cream cone? nothing: chocolate bars can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock Knock! Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats worse than a pile of dead babies? A live on at the bottom.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops