Why did the baby stop crying? Because he stopped breathing.

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96

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

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How did the Mexican get into the United States? He showed his passport, and the correct documents & information, and was admitted into the country as a new American citizen.

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Why was Jim gay? Because he liked penis.

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Why wasn't there an elevator in the rainforest? The rainforest is not capable of managing an elevator because an elevator does in fact require an energy source which is also not capable in a rainforest. The rainforest is filled with animals and is not filled with humans which would make having an elevator in the rainforest useless because the main use of an elevator is to transport humans. The animals in the rainforest would not be able to operate the elevator because using an elevator for them would be advance while humans using elevators is second nature.

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Why did the black man say "I been done did that?" He was speaking ebonics.

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What did one narwhal say to another Hi ;)

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Why was the boy crying last night? - a clown raped him

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Why is a bulldog so aggressive Because it was raised for dog fights in basements Dog fights aren't right kids, and you should never get involved but if you find yourself in the cage fighting one of the dogs, you should really think about how you got there.

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Why couldn't Jimmy go bowling with the rest of his friends? His parents shot him.

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Why did the deaf man take his parrot to work? He was weird.

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why did my iphone screen get scratched :(? because i dropped it ):

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Two men are sitting in a pub. One man turns to the other and says: 'Last night I saw lots of strange men coming in and out of your wife's house.' The other man replies: 'Yes, she has become a prostitute to subsidize her drug habit.'

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How did 6-year old dyslexic boy start his essay on soap? Sopa is shit...

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Knock knock Who's there? Your brother My brother who? The dead guy over there.

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whats small and looks funny? A baby with a penis sewed to its face.

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"I just don't understand the difference between yours and mines." "Well, you see, yours belong to you, whereas mines explode when you step on them."

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Moooo

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doctor: hey u ready to get home person: yea doctor: that sucks cause u have cancer

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A Jewish man with a boner walks into a wall. What hit the wall first? Probably his penis.

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Q - what did one plate say to the other? A - FOods on me tonight!

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What's red and green and goes 100 mph? A frog in a blender

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A blonde dies Lololol

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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