whats on object, almost tube like that squirts thick white liquid from the top elmer's glue

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Whats green and gets you really high? A green airplane

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What happens when you are a fat 37 year old virgin, with a small penis, poor bone structure, pale skin, a horrible personality, and no friends? You spend all night writing anti-jokes...will someone please like me?

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What do two siblings have in common? They both want the other to get hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Do you know what's the sexiest thing in the world? Sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

who's specky and stinks of shit? josh moran

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why shouldn't 6 guys sleep naked in the same bed? They would not fit

thumb_up thumb_down -13

wats green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree, it would kill u? a pool table

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book ... it goes on forever. Epilogue: the man and son eventually died because a microphone swallowed a frog. THE END P.S.: I didn't close the quotations. P.S.#2: I don't know what ''P.S. stands for. P.S.#3: I didn't close the quotation again.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why couldn't Jimmy eat his food? Because I threw a microwave at him

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Having a giant, angry ape on steroids rip your heart out and eat it before your eyes as you painfully die from the unbearable pain and rapid blood loss.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you get a blonde to break a nail? Smash her finger with a wrench.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A priest walks into a drug den, most people would say this is pretty contradictory to his implied beliefs.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: What do you call a Chelsea fan on the moon? A: A Problem. Q: What do you call 100 Chelsea fans on the moon? A: An even bigger problem. Q: What do you call all the Chelsea fans on the moon? A: Problem solved hahaha Q: What would you get if Newcastle were relegated? A: 45,000 more Chelsea fans

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the plane crash? Why? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead. why;d the banana fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the oboe say to the trombone? SQUEEEEEEK

thumb_up thumb_down +1

whats red white and blue? i dont know

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why couldn't sally go on the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock knock Who's there Sally

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what's funnier than hell? heaven

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man is being followed by a large swarm of mosquitoes. He eradicates them by spraying himself with an insect repellent that has a high deet concentration.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Can a man reproduce with only one testicle? No because girls don't dig that sh*t

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Mum, "Why aren't you listening to me, are you deaf or something?" Son, (Silence)...

thumb_up thumb_down -12

I was strolling along the countryside and saw 2 niiggers peacefully hanging from a tree

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops