Knock Knock Who's there? The KGB Yes, How can I help? We are looking for a local serbian mobster who we believe to be hiding in this Village have you seen this man. No I cant say I have. Sorry Well thank you for your time and if you notice anything please try and let the local Police know.

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all walk into a bar. They order martinis and have a nice evening.

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The jinx machine just stole your money... ... this poem was supposed to be funny

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there's a worm in my lime at least it doesn't have scurvy

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there where 3 guys at a magic pool. if you jump in and say anything it appears in the pool. the first guy runs, jumps and says money!! he gets a bunch of money. the second guy runs, jumps and says gold!! he gets a bunch of gold. the third guy runs, slips says SHIT!!!! and lands in the pool.

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What happens when you give a Jew an iPhone? He says thank you and gives you a hug.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir......my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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Roses are red bullets are led if you don't take me back now i'll shoot you in the head!

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Wanna hear the most repeated joke on anti jokes? Why did [insert name here] fall off the swing? Because he/she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not [insert name here].

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"Knock Knock" "Come in"

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Why did the girl have an abortion? Because she wanted a burger.

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Why did the baby die? Abortion

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What's worse than finding another worm in your apple? Another Holocaust

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Reminds me of when I was a teen, I was working at an elderly home, and there was this really really old woman, and she was leaning forward towards me on her wheelchair, one of her hands accidentally near my crotch, I mean this granny was really senile and shit. Then she went all like, you really like it when I touch you there don't you? I mean it was not the best nor the fastest one, but all that excitement "OMG WHAT IF I GET CAUGHT BY A COLLEAGUE WHILE A 89 YEAR OLD WAS JACKING ME OFF!" Really made it all special folks... Especially when I got caught, it was like OMG STRESS ORGASM HOLY DONT CUM NOOOAAAARGHHHH!!!!!! WOHOOOOOO! I walked outta there like a champ, I was like 18 and my girlfriend/colleague which caught me was like, 27, and the next week she was 32, and before you know it, she was 46 on facebook... Thats like you know... Too old or something...

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Why did Logan lose his lunch? Because he forgot to his lunchbox on the day-trip.

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a beer.

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Justin Bieber.

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Whats Worse that 10 babies stapled to 1 tree? 1 Baby stapled to 10 trees

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when placing the bolt in the side of the metal rememb............ shit wrong book ........................................................................

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whats black and white and red all over? this joke.

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How did the dog die? He was put down.

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Why was the first name of the boy 'Price'? His parents were Hamsters.

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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True or false , is it hotter in the summer or in the city? False, because blue monkeys don't eat orangutan bones.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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