What did one tree say to the other? "Hey Phil, how's it going?

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What did the anorexic girl say to the skilled psychologist? Fuck off you'll never understand me.

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Roses are red Violets are red Daisies are red Tulips are red Magnolias are red Weeds are red Carnations are red Crap, my gardens on fire.

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Your mamma used to be fat till Slim Fast came out with dick flavor!

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In Soviet Russia..... the exact same thing happens, stupid.

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what is worse then finding a worm in your apple find a worm in your ass

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A man calls his wife, but she doesn't pick up. He comes home and shouts his wife's name, but no one responds. He walks upstairs and sees the bedroom door half-opened. He enters and sees his wife sleeping.

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What's worse then finding a worm in ur apple? Nothing it sucks and it's a waste of an apple

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he felt like it.

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A pregnant woman walks into a bar and miscarries.

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Whats worst than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies. Whats worst than a pile of dead babies? One live baby under the pile of dead babies.

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Why did the man get a tattoo? A: he wanted to express himself.

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What do you call a blonde with a broken arm? A cripple.

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Why did the blonde walk into a glass wall? Because she either wasn't watching where she was going or the wall was so clean that it appeard not to be there

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So, same time tomorrow then?

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What did the woman do when her husband told her to make him a sandwich? She made him a sandwich promptly.

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knock! knock! Whos there? Chris Hansen..

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Noooooooo...

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What did Gene give Carla for Christmas? AIDS

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1 black guy jumped off a cliff at the same time as a white guy, who fell first? The one who weighed the most.

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What do u call a woman geometry teacher. Santains wife.

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What is green and looks like Grass? A painting of grass

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Periods are red, waffles are blue, some poems rhym, this one doesn't.

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What's green and if you eat it you die? A Biljarts table.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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