knock knock Goodbye

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Ashton Kutcher meets a fine cougar at a bar and the cougar fatally wounded his throat.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's And add extra pepperoni

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The past the present and the future walk into a bar it made no logical sense that three things that will always contradict each other exist with each other and can walk into a bar without limbs or being alive it wasn't tense it made no sense

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Yo Mama is so poor, she can barely keep a steady income and cannot support her family of 10 even with support of food stamps and wel fair and will probably die soon due to diabetees because she wasted her food stamps on food that is bad for the average persons diet and due to a lack of exercise. I am worried about her she seems very depressed due to her wight and fatality outlooks and you should probably direct her to your local clinic to make sure she is OK and try to help her with her weight mangment problems. I am scarred for you and your family and I wanted to make sure you are ok and are doing well in education and are on track for a very bright future probably going to a universety which you will pay for with student loans from a bank in the local area. I am extremely worried so are you OK with all of those things I said before and if you are not I can help you get onto the right track and your mom can have a happier longeer life filled with fun happinnes wisdom life and other things like peace and forgivness for all people should get that it is part of our natural human rights and we deserve such things I speak of. Are you ok and does your life apply to thing things I have said in the past couple of motivational minuites. ''get the fu^k off porch''

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What is the difference between a black man and a bench A bench can support a family of five

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Tucker Rivera

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Q: John has 400 cookies, 200 hundred are chocolate chip and the rest are sugar. John eats 100 of each, what does he have now? A: Diabetes

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What magical power enables Spongebob to talk? There is no magical power. he is a cartoon therefore making him be able to anything in anyone's wild dreams.

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Why couldn't the blond turn the TV on? Because she is blond.

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A couple arrived at Hospital in less than 3 hours. but actually they wanted to go to the Church...and 3 hours is quite a long time...

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Im going to the patriots jets game this year..... When the kick a feild goal and you see two kids wearing lime green holding up a poster that says BRADY LIKES SAGGY BALLS that will be me and my friend -RT

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What is yellow and fluffy? Green fluff, I lied about the yellow part.

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WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

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If Chuck Norris has $5 and you have $5, you both have the same amount of money

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Why do Vampires Sparkle in the Sunlight? They don't read a proper Vampire Novel and see for yourself.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? I don't know, why don't you go ask him?

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my shift key is broken1

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a fox stapled to his face.

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David Cameron

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What did the deaf man say to the blind man? Probably "Look out for that car," but since he has been deaf since the age of 7, his verbal skills are tenuous at best.

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How do you get a Mexicans attention? By calling him by his name.

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What did the black guy, the latino guy, and the asian guy all have in common? They were all human beings

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wots brown and smells like shite shite

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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