So, a Turtle, a Giraffe, and a Hippopotamus walk into Stop-N-Shop. They are quickly excorted out and the Zoo is contacted to take the wild animals. The Manager wonders why they were there in the first place.

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Whats better then free candy from a guy in a van? Trying to find his lost puppy so his kids don't cry.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Anything you want, it's only a fish.

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My cat used to be afraid of storms. But now it's dead.

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Why was the blackman fired from his job? Beacuse he was late too many times which was unacceptable.

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Why do you have to write a conclusion at the end of your paper? So people dont have to read the whole thing.

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Hey youknow what's funny???? Jokes

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Having a giant, angry ape on steroids rip your heart out and eat it before your eyes as you painfully die from the unbearable pain and rapid blood loss.

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i put a oie in the oven, it baked

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Whats the difference between Tina Turner and dead babies? I have never fu*ked Tina Turner before.

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reggin... its N I GG E R backwards

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What did the muffin say to the other muffin? "Hello, nice to meet you."

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A horse walks into a bar. It trips over a barstool, breaks it's leg, and is butchered and turned into canned dog food.

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knowck knowck whos there? shea shea who? shea...duh!

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What do u call 4 black men in a car? A: carpooling

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So everything, the chat we had before was all you know, a game so I would call you? I am not sleepy but I can wait until you can confirm everything.

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What is in your backyard and is stalking you? Corn

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Since chickens cannot speak, it is difficult to say.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "That's kind of ambiguous..."

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Knock Knock! Well come on in!

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What's worse than getting an F on your paper? Walking in on a man wearing your mother's skin after vigorously raping her in front of your baby sister.

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Robocop and T-800 argue over who can run the fastest, Robocop claims he is the fastest, while T-800 says that he is the fastest. To settle things once and for all, they start a race. At first T-800 seems to be leading Then the T-800 is leading by a great distance. moments later the T-800 has a huge lead. But then suddenly, without any warning, the race shifts! T-800 is now leading only by a great distance! Yet in a amazing, and completely unexpected plot-twist. T-800 wins! Moral: :O

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how long is a peice of string howeverlong you want to make it

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How do you kill a black man wearing a bullet proof turbin? Shoot him anywere other then his turbin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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