dry handjob

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Father Murphy met Samuel Myer on the street. Sam it's been a month o' Sundays since I've seen you. You look propserous. How's the moile business? A snip better, Father, since we talked last. And thank you. For what, Sam? Well the last time we met you asked what I did with the foreskins. Well, here is the answer, my new business. What's this, a wallet. But so smooth, Sam. Yeah, Father, but when you rub it. Rub it, Sam? Yeah when you rub it it falls apart. And you have to buy a new one! Mazel Tov!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what do u call a 7th grade ninga joe waldeaker the sarah freek

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: Did you hear about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air? A: She missed.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the hose say to the sprinkler? I'm gonna squirt you.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q: why did sally fall off the swing A: she had no arms A:knock knock Q:who is there A:not sally

thumb_up thumb_down +19

An asian is driving a car. He observes the speed limit and uses his turning signals while switching lanes.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are red, Violets are dead, I climbed through your window, I'm under your bed

thumb_up thumb_down +3

That's what she didn't say

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What happens when you try to hand feed a shark You have one less hand

thumb_up thumb_down -17

There's a mexican and african american in a car. Who's driving? A cop.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the man with AIDS say to the other man? I have AIDS and will most likely succumb to the disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

So, I'm sitting by this guy in Science class and we're learning about fungi. So this guy is being really nice and I tell him, "Bro, you're just a FUNgi to hang around", like fun guy.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How much dub could a dubstep dub if a dubstep could step dub?

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the orange fall asleep? Because its never awake.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock knock. Who's there? Cargo. Cargo who? Cargo beep beep.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the hobo get for Christmas? Hypothermia

thumb_up thumb_down +26

what a filthy dirty mess also dirt

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Q) Whats wet fishy and gets caught by fishermen? A) fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats the difference between a rabbit an a eagle? They both fly except for the rabbit

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Two Jews walk into a pub. They don't order a ham sandwich.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How did the suicide bomber die? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A blonde walked into a bank. She deposited her check, thanked the teller, and promptly left.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops