- Anti Joke

Why did the woman go to the kitchen? The same reason she went to the bathroom, she needed to wash her hands because she was finger painting. Her husband was using the bathroom.

What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? A read along book

Why are hurricanes named after women? They're wet and wild when they come and take your car and house when they leave.

Q:Why did the Mexican cross the border? A:To come to America to provide for his starving family.

This is an anti-joke. It is not funny because "anti" means the opposite of something.

Two black guys walk into a bar. The bartender says "what are you doing here" and the black guys say "to get a drink"....

What do you call a 30 year old man with a large white van full of kids? A parent carpooling to the soccer game.

Why wasn't the little boy allowed to get a dog? Because the orphanage he lives at doesn't allow dogs.

Where does a leper go every Monday and Wednesday? The dermatologist.

What do you do to become a hairdresser? Set Off the fire alarm

what do you do when you see a black man limping across your frontyard? you stop laughing an reload.

Three soldiers, one Japanese, one American, and one Italian were stuck in a desert. How did they escape? A rescue squad of thirty trained troops came down in a helicopter and brought them each to their respective homes except the Italian who was actually a M.afia boss so they put him in prison.

A woman walks out of the kitchen, she gets slapped by her sexist husband.

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a truck? You drive a truck, Michael Jackson has anal sex with little boys.

Why was the black person assassinated behind a drug dealers house? He was purposely shot in the leg and bled out before he could make it to help.

What is black and white and cant get through revolving doors? A zebra with a spear through its head.

Why did the girl hang herself? She was constantly bullied in school and on the internet.

Knock Knock! Who's there? Banana! Banana who? Knock knock! Who's there? Banana! Banana who? Knock knock! Who's there? Orange! Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't stab you 17 times in the kidney?

A polar bear and a seal are sitting on an ice floe. The polar bear looks at the seal and says, "RAWRRRRRRRRRGGG" and then kills and eats him. A horse walks into a bar Barman says "Why the long face?" The horse replies "My mum died this morning".

There once was a man from Nantucket Who was stung on the head by a wasp When asked if it hurt he replied, 'not a bit, and he could do it again if he'd like to.'

Once upon a time, people died. It was happening all over the land. They didn't LIVE happily ever after... since they died. The end... for them.

What is red? A rock painted red

Q- what do you call a Jew swimming in the Antarctic? A- Dead, any man wouldn't survive swimming in water that cold

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops