Why didn't Johnny walk to school this week? He was dead.

why was the Jewish child sad? He was recently abandoned by all his family.

your mumma so fat she stepped on the weight scales and it says to be continued

An Ethiopian field worker goes into work one day and finds out he was fired. Agriculture in Ethiopia is bad because it doesn't rain much.

How do you kill a blonde? You wait until she dies of old age, then copyright her death.

What is the difference between a dead baby and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

What does a blind, deaf, parapalegic baby get for christmas? Cancer.

Obama being reelected.

Why did you loose the basketball game? Because they scored more points than us.

What did the orphan get for his birthday? Shit on.

What's brown and liquidy? Brown paint.

Q. How do you blindfold a Chinese man? A. With a blindfold.

What do you call a Chineses filled with bus?

WARNING!: THIS JOKE MAY BE OFFENSIVE::: three mexicans wanted to cross the united states borders when they were greeted by a border guard with a gun. the guard tells the three mexicans that if they wanted to pass the border, they will have to do as he says, to which the 3 of them agrees. the guard tells them to go gather a pair of fruits, so like that each of them went their own way to go get some fruits. the first mexican came back with a pair of apples. The guard orders him to stick both of them up his ass and if he makes a sound, the guard will kill him. The mexican obeys and sticks the apple halfway when he screamed. the guard killed him. The second mexican came back with a pair of cherries. The guard ordered the same thing and told him the same thing. the second mexican made 1 cherry and a half when he giggled. So he died also. when he got to heaven, he meets the first mexican. to which the 1st mexican asks, "why did you laugh? that was so easy!" and the 2nd mexican responded, "i giggled because i saw the third mexican coming with a pair of water melons."

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

Friends are like potatoes - when you eat them they die.

Your mother is so fat, that recent test results have proved she is morbidly obese.

A dog walks into a bar and is promptly escorted out as animals are not allowed.

What do you call the people that ride on the upper level of a double decker bus? Passengers.

Q: How many Jews can you fit in a 4-seater car? A: 4

A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

what is the diference between my left tit and my right tit .... my right one was cut off because of breast cancer

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's blind and deaf.

Yo momma is so ugly that she uses it as motivation to work hard and thus for achieve more than a lot of whores do

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


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