What kind of movies do pirates like? They don't know, Somalia doesn't have much of a film industry.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in every apple.

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When is the best time to wear a striped sweater? All the time

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why is six afraid of seven? because seven is black

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who's best is friend is really good looking? James Cornish

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Did you hear the one about the guy who went his whole life without ever telling a joke? He was still funnier than David Letterman.

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your momma is so fat that she should be worried about her higher risk of heart disease, diabetes, and ugliness.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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friends are like potatoes you eat them they die

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A man adopts an orphan. He waits till the child is a teenager to tell the news. He then commits suicide as to scar the child emotionally for the rest of its life.

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What is invisible and smells like cheese? Cheese. I lied about the invisible part, because cheese is not invisible.

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what did the dead cat say to the dead dog? Nothing, they're dead

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Come in

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What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Santa isn't real.

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Q: What do you call a hillbilly with 12 girl friends? A: A shepherd.

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Your gay

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When the mom got home from work, she was very tired. Her 6 year old son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She said sure and made one. Her son was very pleased and ate all of it. He knew he had a great mom. I actually lied above. The mom was killed by three men in hoodies in her back yard. They came inside and also murdered to boy. Worst of all the killers stole all of her food including the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat. I guess it doesn't matter now since he is unable to eat anymore...

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What did the boy with four arms get for Christmas? A Laptop. Why couldn't he use it? He had no fingers.

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Nice legs, what time do they open the free bar, I'd like to by you a drink.

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Why did the blonde stare at the juice carton? Because a man was pointing a shotgun at her and would kill her if she didn't do it.

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Q.) How do you make a whore blush? A.) Tell her she has pretty eyes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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