A midget and a jew walk into a bar. i forget the rest of the joke but your motheris a tramp.

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Why did the little girl's pet bunny pass away? Because her neighbor ripped out it's vitals.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Three men stumble upon an ancient lamp in the desert. They sell it to a museum and split the profit evenly.

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An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman come across a magic slide. They each decide to take a turn. The Irishman goes first, sliding down and shouting "GOLD!", and finding himself in a pile of gold as he reaches the bottom. The Englishman slides down screaming "SILVER!", and lands in a heap of silver at the bottom. The Scotsman takes his turn, and shouts "WEEEE!" as he slides down. He gets up and realises what a needless waste of a wish his enjoyment cost him.

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There was a black and a mexican man in a car. Who was driving? None of them; it was the police driving.

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Jumping out of an airplane is a once in a lifetime expeirence.

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How do you confuse a person from France? By screaming in english at the sky while pionting at him.

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What's worse than getting a fly stuck up your nose? Been alone in a hospital room with Jimmy Saville.

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Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Bartender asks her, "why the long face?". She tells him it's from her parent's genes.

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Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens? Because they kept saying Bach bach Bach. No. Beethoven was deaf. He couldnt understand what they were saying.

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Why does the cow have spots? Because it was born that way

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Names.

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roses are grey violets are grey i am a dog woof woof

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What do Hitler and Jesus have in common? Facial hair.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because seven, eight, nine.

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What do you call a cow without legs? Disabled.

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What do Austrailian cows say? Moo.

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Why can't you give a diabetic a cookie? Due to the lack of Insulin produced in the Pancreas, the sudden spike of sugar into the blood stream may send the person into a diabetic coma, which good possibly result in the amputation of a limb.

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Yo momma so fat she weighs 400 pounds.

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roses are red violets are blue your friend is a scumbag and so are you

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What's worse than finding an apple in your wo- wait, what?!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause he felt like it.

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your mom died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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