A man walks into a bar, sits down and the bartender comes over and asks him what he wants to drink. The man replies, "Carrot Juice."

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Non-believers.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do video games and school have in common? Nothing, nobody likes school

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Nock nock. Whose there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow wh. ( mmmmooooo)

thumb_up thumb_down +42

did u hear about evan porter going out with his computer of course not because u haven't read this joke yet

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Romeo and Juliet both die at the end of the book. HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHA i just screwed you guys over.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call people in a plane crash? Whatever, i wasn't on the plane.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the Dog say to the Cat? Nothing, Cats and Dogs are of different species and can therefore not understand one another.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Your mother is so retarded. How retarded is she? Very retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

They give psychiatric patients acting classes in order for them to express and as such heal themselves? Excuse me fucktard! A guy that has deluded himself into believing he is the 11.356th Napoleon does not require further acting classes!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a fat cat? Nothing if you are a good person

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Hi, my name is Mark and I have dead babies in my garage... Just kidding. My name ia not Mark.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: What happened when Cupid shot his arrow into the guys heart? A: He died

thumb_up thumb_down -34

I just found my mum has Alzheimer's, I hope it isn't contagious cause my mum has it too

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead-

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q. What did the priest and the atler boy do in the back room of the church? A. Disscussed their feelings about the different meanings that could be derived from the daily scripture reading.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you get when you cross a chicken and a turkey? Just a sort of mixed bird thing.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the man order at KFC, in Miami? A face.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A father of four joins the military. He returns home after his service.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How did the Jewish man play racquetball? With a racket and a birdie.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I don't know. It depends how high the light is.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

The doctor woke up and the hooker he screwed told him she had the clap and he said thats the least of your problms bitch you have aids

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops