What happens when you lay a diamond in the water for two hours? It gets wet.

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What's white and sticky? A white stick.

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Peaches eat leaches, that is why sneaches live on beaches.

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Q: Why does my arm itch? A: I got bit on the arm by a mosquito

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NeroChan, I have said nothing to you, that you have not taught me, if nothing else you have indirectly inspired yourself, you will get back on your feet, you just need to take one step at the time, I know how ambitious you are, but you always focused on helping others, hiding, seeing yourself as a sinking ship, trying to help as many as possible before you pass away. We can work trough this together, it is easy to figure out that you are trying to protect others from what you feel that you have become, something that cannot be repaired, something that was never meant to be fixed, but to be used until it had no more to give.

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How did Hitler make the world a better place? He died.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Dead Babies

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hello

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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What would you do if I jumped down your throat when you were talking? That would never happen, as it's impossible to even climb into somebody's mouth.

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles? Pick it up and put it in a crib, like a responsible parent.

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Oh no! I forgot the milk!

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A jewish man walks into a bar and then gets hit in the testicles. he now has testicular cancer.

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knock knock get lost!

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if I had sex with your mother

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Q: why cant elvis draw a picture. A: cause hes dead.

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What did the volcano say to the other volcano? Nothing, Volcanoes are inanimate objects that do not possess the ability to speak.

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Roses are red, But ravens are black, please go to China, and never come back!

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Face...tastes like chicken!

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What's the difference between vanilla ice cream and vanilla ice cream with chocolate chips? Neither one has vanilla ice cream in it except for both of them.

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Why can't white kids say the "F" word? Because they'll get soap in their mouths Why can't black kids say the "F" word? Because they'll get a beating until their butts turn black and blue and they'll start crying in pain

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Hey, the eighties called, they were really excited about inventing a phone that could call the future.

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Why does Deb wear a hat? Because she is actually bald.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why didn't the chicken cross the road?!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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