Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the bird.

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why did the chicen cross the road? because it saw an excellent deal on hair products on the other side of the street.

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What did the book say to it's reader? What are you stupid? People who read can't hear!

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How do you survive a snow storm? Kill yourself

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't

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"Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave."

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A little girl meets a homeless guy named Ian McDermott in downtown Atlanta She then screams stranger danger and a nearby policeman comes and arrests the man.

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I have glasses but cannot see I have feet but cannot walk What am I? A riddle.

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Why are there so many black basketball players? Because they aren't green.

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How do you kill a zombie? You don't. Zombies aren't real.

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How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch-n-sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

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What are the first three words in a Mexican Cook Book? Steal a chicken.

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Why did Lucy have blond hair? Answer: Because both her parents had recessive traits.

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Why did the car get out of bed? Because the person who owned the car was a total freak and put the car into a bed.

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Your mumma is so fat that she wears large clothes.

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womens rights

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Whats pink and silver and runs into walls? A baby with forks in its eyes. Whats green and silver and sits in a corner? The same baby three weeks later.

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What's worse than Bieber fever? Yellow fever.

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Darkness Falls Across The Land The Midnite Hour Is Close At Hand Creatures Crawl In Search Of Blood To Terrorize Y'awl's Neighbourhood And Whosoever Shall Be Found Without The Soul For Getting Down Must Stand And Face The Hounds Of Hell And Rot Inside A Corpse's Shell The Foulest Stench Is In The Air The Funk Of Forty Thousand Years And Grizzy Ghouls From Every Tomb Are Closing In To Seal Your Doom And Though You Fight To Stay Alive Your Body Starts To Shiver For No Mere Mortal Can Resist The Evil Of The Thriller

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my gramma died

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An Asian Man Has His Eyes Wide Open

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why did the bear fall out of the tree? He died. Why did the raccoon fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the bear.

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Knock knock! Why didn't you use the doorbell?

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What did the mountain biker say when he saw a double rainbow? This a very rare occurrence in nature, and I should enjoy this rare phenomenon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops