What does a dyslexic person call God? Dog

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what's long, skin colored, erect, and limp? a finger.

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Why do hummingbirds hum? They don't realize how annoying it is.

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What do you call a chicken with three eyes? One that flew over the cuckoo's nest.

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My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. I guess I make a good milkshake.

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What do a cow and a banana have in common? Neither of them is a police officer.

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(Knock knock) A:who is it? B:its the police open up where coming in B:I SAID OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR A:(SHIT)

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees an officer standing on a street corner and a pile of burning rubble behind him. He asks the officer what happened and he replies "A bomb fell from the sky and annihilated the city orphanage. 214 children were killed and two nearby families of 3 and 6 were severely injured and are now in the hospital with no hope of survival." The man was found dead later that week with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.

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You haven't happened to see a cigarette truck around here have you? What's a truck?

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A woman was strolling around town when she turned into a dark alley. She was cold and scared. Suddenly a ferocious looking man jumped out with a knife. The end.

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Whats worst then finding a repeated joke on anti joke? The holocaus.

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gabe sucks 8-------------------D~

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What did the woman say to her husband after he came home from a late night of drinking? Nothing, because the last time she did, she got her ass beat.

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What did one duck say to the other duck? Nothing, ducks cannot talk.

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Have you heard the one about the blonde and the bear? No. Me neither.

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How many ADD kids does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They're people to you know...

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Keanu Reaves

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What's the difference between a duck? An armchair because the vest has no sleeves.

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What do baseball and The Holocaust have in common? They're both sports, except for the The Holocaust.

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A man and a woman are in bed together and really want to do something, what is that something? Sleep.

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A man has 72 cookies, he eats 64 of them. What does he have left? Diabetes.

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Whats funnier then a dead baby a dead baby dressed as a clown

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What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews are people, and are a nation and ethnoreligious group originating in the Israelites or Hebrews of the Ancient Near East. A pizza on the other hand is an Italian dish made up of cheese, bread sauces and multiple toppings.

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Roses are green Violets are green I'm colour blind Everything is green

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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