What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? A watermelon is edible.

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what happens when you punt a baby in between 2 poles? you get 3 points

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A blond walked into a bar. A guy picker her up and then they had sex.

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Why doesn't a chicken wear pants? Because, there are no tailors in the area who make pants suitable for chickens to wear.

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are the same.

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What is red, and bucket shaped? A red bucket.

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a man walks into a bar, and gets mauled by a bear..... and gets a concussion

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I am white and I like cold food

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a terrorist.

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Did you hear about the anorexic with the yeast infection? Apparently she's really good at math, and if she can overcome her afflictions she wants to become an accountant one day.

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7

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Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Chuck Norris' cheese

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how do you hurt sombody? cut off their legs.

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ask me if i am a tree. no.

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whats the difference between a dead dog and a dead black guy on the road? there is skid marks leading up to the dog.

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What happens when you get your leg caught in an elevator door? Nothing. It is likely that the elevator has advanced sensory components that won't allow the door to close on your leg.

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A friend? Just a friend that you told to stop pretending to be me? And you had no idea whatsoever that I am Nero as in not one of the six hundred thousand wabbabes?

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Ed Milliband looks like an amphibian.

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Your mom is so stupid that she failed out of high school and was forced to prostitute for money, thus resulting in you.

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A white man went to the basketball court to play basketball and was confronted by a group of black men. They kindly invited the white man to play basketball with them and they had a nice day

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What is funnier than an anti-joke? My SAT scores.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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