What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? SOL.

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a horse walks into a bar, the bartender says: why the long face? he has cancer

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Alright, if you guess it right, I'll stop playing Mario and finish my division problems. Okay, Mom, call it in the air! Heads or Tails? Huntington's Disease is the reason your Father doesn't remember your name anymore, Billy. There's a fifty percent chance you'll end up with it too. I am so sorry. Also, Tails.

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Why did the football coach go to the bank? To make a deposit.

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Two jewish men walk into the butcher shop. They buy a pound of ground beef and nothing else.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Because it was a refrigerator. Why did the little girl die? Because she was hit by two monkeys and a refrigerator.

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What happens when a black man falls out of a tree? He gets hurt.

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Person 1: Did you hear the one about the guy who drank vinegar? Person 2: No Person 1: Oh

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Two chemist walk into a bar. The Bartender ask them what they want. The first chemist says he wants H20. The second chemist laughs and says he wants H20 too. Then he dies.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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A man walks into a bar. His family has died in a tragic accident and he is trying to drink down the pain.

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Q: What do you call a colour blind person that smells like green paint? A: A painter

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What's big, black, juicy, large, and succulent? A gourmet meatball.

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way

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batman farted so hes retarded

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Why did the black guy get hit by a train? I strapped him to the tracks

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what's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm ? finding a half worm.

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How do you get a Jew into a car? Tell him to get in the car.

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How many black people does it take to change a light bulb. One, of course. Assuming he/she does not have any physical or mental handicaps.

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender say, "Sorry, we don't serve your kind here." The man continues to order a drink when he realises the comment was directed at the elephant standind behind him.

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Why do black people sit so far back in their seats? Because they're used to sitting in the back of the bus

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What do you get when you cross professor plum with a candle stick in the library? A dead prostitute. Try and be more careful next time.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a blow up doll? The blonde is a person, you sexist asshole.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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