What did the cow say to the other cow? How should i know? Go ask them.

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: It doesn't matter what you call him, he isn't going to come.

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What's worse than winning the lottery? Anything, really...

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what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing you already told her twice

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One muffin doesn't say anything to another muffin while baking in an oven because they lack the organs necessary to attain properties of speech and thought

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Sir, your wife has been killed. Please open the door so that we may discuss this matter. The man then opens the door and listens to the tale of how a disgruntled worker opened fire in a grocery store, killing 13 people including his wife. Unable to cope with this and the fact both his parents passed away earlier that year he later hangs himself soon after the police leave.

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A man walks into a bar after a hard day of work, and he meets this girl and they really kick it off, so the girl says, "lets go somewhere more, private" and they both go to a more secluded bar that has less decibels of noise.

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What is the meaning of life? Definitions of life on the Web: a characteristic state or mode of living; "social life"; "city life"; "real life" the experience of being alive; the course of human events and activities; "he could no longer cope with the complexities of life" the course of existence of an individual; the actions and events that occur in living; "he hoped for a new life in Australia"; "he wanted to live his own life without interference from others" animation: the condition of living or the state of being alive; "while there's life there's hope"; "life depends on many chemical and physical processes" the period during which something is functional (as between birth and death); "the battery had a short life"; "he lived a long and happy life" the period between birth and the present time; "I have known him all his life" the period from the present until death; "he appointed himself emperor for life" a living person; "his heroism saved a life" liveliness: animation and energy in action or expression; "it was a heavy play and the actors tried in vain to give life to it" living things collectively; "the oceans are teeming with life" the organic phenomenon that distinguishes living organisms from nonliving ones; "there is no life on the moon" biography: an account of the series of events making up a person's life a motive for living; "pottery was his life"

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What's upside down? umop apisdn

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A man from timbuktu slept on a bed of nails. It was very uncomforable

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I dropped two snare drums and a cymbal down a hole earlier. They're probably broken now.

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your mama is so greasy she should go take a bath

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A guy walks into a bar, he has a few drinks than leaves.

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Your mom walks into a bar.

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What do you call a Muslim taking control of an airplane? A pilot. -Tag

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What is worse than when the Titanic sunk? You Cannot say. You were on that ship.

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How many elephants can you fit in a car? Five. Two in the front, two in the back, and one in the glove compartment.

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Do you know what a lion really is? It's an over sized cat.

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roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, some dont

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rose are red so is u want to know why because i shot her

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what do you call a fish with no gills? Dead

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What did the scuba diver say to his partner when he got stuck in some seaweed. Something that sort of sounded like glug, or maybe blub, or some other sound you would hear trying to talk underwater.

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How do you make a cripple cry Cut of his legs, THEN telll him a joke

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When a suicide-bomber went to heaven what did Allah give him apart from 72 virgins? 72 mothers in law.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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