i was born with 99 medical problems, and the difficulty to count till 100.

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a little girl is playing outside of her house when i man in a van approaches her and stops to ask if the girl will help him find his puppy and that he has some gandy. seeing as the girl has a great love for animals she gets in the van. the man and the little girl drive around until they find the puppy. the man is so overjoyed her rewards the girl with candy. he then drives her back to her house and she feels wonderful having helped the man find his puppy. the end.

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar, the bartender, a known drug smuggler for the Mexican Cartel fires three shotgun rounds. As the bartender reloads Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks first the shotgun out of the man's hands followed by three very quick blows to the head. The bartender goes down unconscious and he is arrested. Though the program is no longer produced, Walker Texas Ranger was a somewhat enjoyable, although poorly written and low budgeted made for television action crime drama series produced from April 21, 1993 to May 19, 2001.

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whats blue and fuzzy?.... blue fuzz

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knock knock father: who's there? young man: it's I, your son. father: ....... what? young man: dad let me in, I'm sorry! father: i don't have a son.... young man: but.... i love you... father: get off my porch, my son is dead to me. (whimper, fading footsteps)

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a mother cow walks up to her three child cows. the first cow asks: "mom, why am i named rose?" the mother responds with: "because when you were a baby, a rose petal fell on your head." the second cow asks: "what about me, mom?" the mother says: "when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your head." the third cow says: "AAAAOOOOOOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAO!" the mother screams: "SHUT UP REFRIDGERATOR."

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What nickname do you give Harrison Kinney if he is good at remixing music? Harrison "Remix" Kinney

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Your mother is so stupid that it would be politically incorrect and socially unacceptable to make asinine, derogatory comments about her challenges.

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what did hulk say when he was mad? im mad

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Jokes are dumb. Stories are better. Did you ever hear the story of the blind man who walked into the fish market and said, "Evenin' ladies!"?

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Well, there is no way to accurately estimate this number being that 1.woodchucks in fact do not chuck wood and 2. there is no time frame given for said action to take place

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"And i look to myself what the hell happened to our world..."

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One night a man layed on his bed and looked into the skies, then he realizes: WHERE THE HELL IS MY CEILING!?!?!

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My dad

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roses are red violets are green id love to flick owen cliffords mams bean

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No one knows because it never told anyone. Chickens can't talk.

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What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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Last night I had a Chinese By that I mean I abducted some Chinese people and ate them

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what do you call a Ukranian woman without a visa? my maid

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ok everybody to make this more simple we all have to line up alphabetically by height.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Me. I am a psycopathic heroin addict, and i came to your house to violently rape you and kill your whole family. I dont have a family. Oh.

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What do you do if your batteries die and you have none left? Go to your nearest battery selling retail store and buy some more.

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Why was the chocolate black? It's not black you idiot, its white

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why wasn't the boy at his moms funeral? He killed his mom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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