How did the magician make his assistant disappear? He killed her and then cremated her body

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

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Q. what has 2 tums and a boner. A. a horny guy <3

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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What happened to the boy who ate a piece of his Halloween candy? He died. It was laced with cyanide.

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What is better then winning the special olympics? Not being retarded

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full house should of been called black jack, because the Olsen twins started getting hit on at age 8 and didn't stop til they were 21

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My brother is crazy... crazy like a fox! I caught him eating a Possum on the side of the road yesterday.

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Whats cold and can't climb trees? Refrigerator

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Two dinosaurs go to a theme park. On the way home they contemplate that they didn't really enjoy themselves. They decide to buy some ice cream to cheer them up a bit. They are severely frustrated by the lack of fun they had for the money they paid. Then they go to sleep. I completely forgot how this joke went, but your mom's a slut.

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Q: Why did the little girl fall off the swing? A: Hahahaha! I can't read.

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Wanna go for a bike ride??

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Why didn't the boomerang return? It hit a baby

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I got shot, you laughed

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What do elephants have that no other animal has? Baby elephants.

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Why did the sprinter lose the race He had no legs

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What is brown and sticky? A stick

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Yo mama so fat, her Patronus is a cake.

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Did you hear about that man who ate 17 cheeseburgers?! I didn't.

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What happened when the blonde girl threw a grenade? The enemy pulled the pin and threw it back

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A priest, a pastor, and a rabbi walk into a bar. All three are alcoholics and have done irreparable damage to their livers.

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whaT DID HEVEN SAY TO THE FRIDGE hAVE YOU GOT A COLD

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Obama getting elected in 2012.

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How could the teacher tell that the student was dead? logic

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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