Why can't Helen Keller drive? Shes dead.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What happened to the boy who ate a piece of his Halloween candy? He died. It was laced with cyanide.

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why did the goat go up the ladder? because its ladder goat

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Ding dong... Knocking hurts.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho!" Asain Santa Claus, "Hohohohohohohoho!" Pedophile Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho! Come and sit on my lap children!" Dyslexic Santa Claus, "Oh oh oh! Merry Shitcrams!" Narcopleptic Santa Claus, "Ho ho..." *snores*. Black Santa Claus, well, I wouldn't like the idea of a black fat guy breaking into my house, eating my cookies, drinking my milk, and leaving presents under my tree. Would you?

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Im batman...suck it losers

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Why was the Jew sad Because it was Christmas.

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What is worse than seeing your whole family die? Leaving your wallet on the bus.

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What did the black man, chinese man, and mexican man all have in common? They all happened to enjoy cantaloupe.

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage in my hand.

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I love you more than other things that are significantly less important to me than you are

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Hey how is your wife and my kids

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How do you beat a black man in a race? You run faster then him.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

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People Eating Tasty Animals

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Whats worse than standing on lego? Rebecca black. whats worse than Rebecca Black? Justin Bieber. Whats worse than justin Bieber? Standing on a baby that isnt yours.

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What did the virulent Homophobe do during the PRIDE national day of silence? He talked.

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So 2 black guys walk into a bar and the bartender looks around and say "what will you fine gentlemen have?" and they order and payed their tab and could not have been more courteous, amirite?

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What happen when a plane crash? Everyone on it died...

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Roses are red. Violates' are blue. Hitler is my homy.

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That long? I was thinking more like two hours? An hour?

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How many ants does it take to fill an apartment? It depends on the size of the apartment.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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