Are you kidding? If you can slow down time when stressed, then that means that your perception of time is, well... Oh relative, but still wow! What about now though? Can you do it? And for curiosity`s sake, what if you jumped off a roof? Would the stress make it all really slow?

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call a cold chicken? A Raw Chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why didn't Sarah come to school today? She had a heart attack and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How do you make time fly? Well! You cannot really make time fly. Imean, yeah, iguess it feels like time flies when your having fun, but it moves just as fast as always!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q:Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? A:He slipped and fell. Q2:Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A2:He was stapled to the first monkey. Q3:Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A3:Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red Violets are blue I have cancer Nutella on muffin

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Knock Knock Who's there? I don't know Then why should I care I don't know

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the cheeseburger have seeds on its buns? Because it wasn't a taco.

thumb_up thumb_down -132

How do you fit 100 dead babies in a box? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla Chips. hehehehehehe

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A Jew and a Muslim are sitting in a bar. The Muslim asks the Jew for some money to buy a drink. The Jew said, "how much?" The Muslim said, "$7.00" The Jew then said, "yes."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

-"Hey! You guys wanna hear a joke" -"What?" -"Womens Rights"

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the chicken cross the road? It couldn't handle the stress and pressure of being a duck so it committed suicide by crossing a road and therefor being run over by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Two men walked into a bar. The third man ducked.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q:why do bananas where sunscreen? A:beacause they peel!!haha

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A white man and a black man play a game of basketball, who wins? It depends who's better

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What happens when you go swimming in the rain? You get wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Your momma is so stupid Her iq must be below 50

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What if algebra teachers were actually pirates, and they're making us find the X so they can search for buried treasure?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

There are 2 men are standing on the roof of a building, one of them jumps off, the other one is named Peter

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the difference between a piece of chicken and a black guy? One is delicious and the other isn't good for your health.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What's worse than stubbing your toe? Dyeing of cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

chuck norris

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the main difference between dogs and children? When children reach their teen years they grow up and leave home. When dogs reach their teen years they die of old age.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's worse than missing Taco Tuesday? Your whole family dying in a car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops