Why did the plane crash? There was a horrible mechanical error that caused the main engines to fail.

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What do you call a mulsim that tattles on you for vandilising muslim propaganda Target Practice

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A sheep walks into a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

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How do you kill an elephant? -With a gun? No, an elephant gun. How do you kill a red elephant? -With an elephant gun? No, with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a blue elephant? -WIth a blue elephant gun? No, you choke it until it turns blue and kill it with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a purple elephant? Theres no such thing as a purple elephant, thus contradicting the reality of performing a major act of animal abuse on it.

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What do you call it when an Arabic man gets shot? Murder.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A waste of time because they just be playing soccer

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In Soviet Russia my freedoms are severally restricted by communism.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Wanna hear a joke? A joke.

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Who is the richest clown? You're probably thinking Ronald McDonald but its actually Barack Obama

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

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Republicans

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What did the Germans cook in their giant oven made for cooking jews? Jews.

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So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

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-How do fit an elefant in a refrigerator? Open the door and shove it in -How do u fit a giraffe in a refrigerator? Take the elephant out and put the giraffe in -If the king of the jungle has a meating which animal doesn't come? The giraffe because hes in the refrigerator -How do u cross a lake where aligators and snakes live? U swimm because they're at the meeting

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Whats worse than a dead baby? 6 million dead Jews.

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Guess what? What? Idk. I just wanted to make u excited.

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Knock Knock Who's there A girl scout want to buy some cookies to raise money for my cardiac surgery?

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What did Batman say to Robin before the got into the Batmobile? - Come on Robin, get into the Batmobile.

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why was the girl in the corner with a knife? she's an emo

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Whats green, furry and it stole christmas? A Robber with a Christmas tree on his back

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How do you get all the apples off of an apple tree? You pick them

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The Tiarajudens is a Permian land-walrus.

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Q: What did the black man say to the sheriff? A: Good day, officer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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