Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun! So I KILL YOU!!!!

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Dad: hi son Kid: (looks sad and looks at the ground) Dad: what's wrong son. Kid:I raped a girl. Dad:Who? Did you rape son! Kid:mom.

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How many dead babies can you fit a bathtub??? It depends on how you slice them!

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A hipster walks into a bar you've never heard of.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Whats red and has wheels? An apple, I was just kidding about the wheels.

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Why did the blonde fail her drug test? She's actually never did drugs before but since she didn't show up for appointment, that counts as an automatic fail.

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Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach? She wanted a tattoo.

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i went to the bar. soon after i entered the bar i got kicked out. why? becuase i'm seventeen.

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what did the girl get with her blueberry waffles? blue waffles.

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Why did the Germans conquer Poland so quickly? Heavy military manufacturing and Blitzkrieg battlefield tactics.

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When life gives you lemons, take them. Free shit is cool

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Why did the Jews go into the shower? Because they had just finish a basketball game and they needed to freshen up.

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How are black people and apples the same They both hang from trees

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Why is there no aspirin in the jungle? Because aspirin is a man-made drug derived from salicylic acid, and it it is this that is extracted from willow bark, which used to be used by Cherokee Americans as a fever-reducer and pain-reliever.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple-sized tumor in your colon

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Roses are red Violets are blue This is a poem The End

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Why didn't Timothy wish his dad a Happy Father's Day? His dad died yesterday in a car accident.

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A baby seal walks into a bar... The bartender looks at it and says: too young.

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A Muslim walked out of a bomb shop.

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How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Depends on the car.

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"I want a boyfriend for these cold winter nights" ... Shut up you slut go buy a blanket.

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What does Free Candy and a Free game online have in common? They both have viruses

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- Knock knock - Excuse me, I don't have time, my house is on fire ! - We're the firemen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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