i hate you.

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A: Knock Knock (pause) B: Please use the doorbell, it is very late and I like to be considerate of my neighbors

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Why'd The Chicken Cross The Road? He Crossed The Road To Stand In An Icecream Line , Where A Little Boy Stood Infront Of Him, The Chicken Was Scared To Cross The Road Again To Get To The Other Side Because He Saw The Little Boy Get Hit By A Bus. So The Chicken Decided The Best Thing To Do Was To Sit Under A Tree , Where A Big White Thing Fell On Him , It Was A Fridge, Once The Fridge Hit The Ground Mexicans Ran Out And Then Explained To There Local Chickens What Crossing The Street Can Cause Them. To Be Dead. Moral: Dont Let A Chicken Cross The Road. :)

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God.

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Whats green? The color green.

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How do you make a little girl cry twice? You rub your bloody penis on her teddy bear.

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How did the blond die? Substance abuse

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What do astronauts and Wayne Rooney have in common? I don't know. Ok.

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How many unicorns does it take to change a lightbulb? Unicorns do not use lightbulbs, their technology (magic) is way too advanced to waste fossil fuels and pollute the air. Also, you can't change a lightbulb with hooves. ;)

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What's the difference between a North Korean and a South Korean? Nothing, they're both chinese.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It should only take one person to do this job regardless of hair color.

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How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? 1

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Why is facebook ruining all of the world's social skills? Because Mark Zuckerberg has Asperger's.

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What do kittens and napkins have in common? You can sneeze into both of them except the kitten doesn't like it

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What do you call a white hankerchief dipped into the red sea? Wet.

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why is my phone broken i dropped it

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How do you know if elephants are watching a movie? If a Volkswagen Beetle is parked outside the movie house.

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i am an inbred jew who likes penis up my bum ~Nathan Barras

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A man jumps of the roof of his building. The superindentant now owns the building and the man who jumped off the building has 59 fractures. Oh and he died.

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Why do Iraqi women never sleep with American soldiers? Because Americans always talk about pulling out but they never do!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm random but can still rhyme Hatsune Miku

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how did the kid cut open his forehead? by putting on his underwear!

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what did the cab driver say to the black man when he got into his cab? Where to, sir?

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Given the unlikely circumstance in which an elephant actually does sit on your fence, it is equally unlikely said elephant would be able to do so unseen by witnesses, of whom you may ask what time the event occurred. Assuming your witness thought to look at the time befor calling animal control.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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