The president is invited to a party at Bill's house. Suddenly the house catches on fire. Who survived? No one, they all died.

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A middle aged woman walks into a bar. Its Friday and there is a breeze in the air. She leaves shortly thereafter.

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roses are red, violets are blue, your boyfriends thinks i'm hot that's why he dumped you

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A guy uses Google locations to find his friend Chuck Norris.

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When Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the world, He broke his foot because every human being that kicks such a solid structure would break their foot.

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Why does an ostrich have such a long neck? Because its head is so far from its body.

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If a tree fell in the forest, and no one was around to hear it, would you like a cupcake?

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Why wasn't the man talking? Because he was sleeping.

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Its april fools day and a women is in labour and has to rush to the hospital. Her husband couldn't make it so it is just the doctor and her in the delivery room. 4 hours of labour go by and complications arise. 12 hours later she gives birth toa beautiful baby boy. The doctor wipes the baby off and goes to hand it to her but then suddenly pulls it back and kicks it a cross the room. The mother screamed "my baby boy!" and the doctor smiles and says "April fools! It was already dead!"

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why can't hellen keller drive? Because she is visually impared and there for it would not be safe for her to drive

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Q: How do u make a butcher cry A: Kill its family

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I told a priest that I would never believe in anything greater than myself. He said I had the God complex, that I was grandios. I stared him in the eye and asked, "how highly do you think of me? Thank you" and left.

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If I am from Texas, where are you from? You know the answer? HOLY SH*T! YOU ARE A GENIUS!

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What do you get when you cut a stick of butter? a butt.

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GONNA

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpion. What's worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by two giant scorpions

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hey you like pizza? whatever...

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Knock knock who's thare Your mom She's dead you bitch

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There's no way to know. The chicken can't speak any humanly comprehensible languages so any reason we can determine is pure speculation.

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Q: What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? A: A dog

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how do you kill a blonde with a pistol Put the clip in and shoot her

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I FEEL LIKE I'M RIDING ON A CLOUD actually it's physically impossible to ride on clouds because they are sparsely situated ice particles.

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Why did the little boy have a gun pointed at his head? Because he hated his life and wanted to kill himself.

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A woman walks into the bathroom and hears the sound of moaning. Not sure what to do she looks around and sees couples as far as the eye can see. She quickly turns to the woman and man standing next to her and asks what is going on here?! The woman says can't you read this is not a bathroom this is a public sex room! Only an idiot would ask that question. In shock the woman takes another look around and she spots someone she finds familiar. When she walks closer she finds that it is her boyfriend and that he is with another woman. Furious she walks up to him and slaps him in the face. The boyfriend looks at her and says sorry your sex just got old. Furious she says to him we never had sex!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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