When life gives you lemons... wait that wont happen

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's worse than requesting a three-some to your in-laws? Forgetting to suggest that they me too fragile and disabled, resulting in one of their limbs breaking.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A hipster walks into a bar you've never heard of.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What the best part of having sex with twenty-eight year olds? Theres 20 of them.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the Asian eat so much rice? Because he was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A man walks into the doctor's office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's genitals to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call an amazing, funny, beautiful, nice, goreous, stunning girl? Adena Gabrysiak <3

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Do you know what kind of world I dream of? Until you tell me, no I don't. How could I? I'm not telepathic, after all.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the 18 year old girl take her clothes off? To take a shower

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Barack Obama

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's Black white and red all over? Half a penguin

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a known serial killer.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What happens when you drop a glass of milk? It hits the ground and breaks, depending on what material the glass is made of, acrylic glass or plastic, and the softness of the floor you drop it on,

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you drown a fish? You can't , it is physically Impossible to drown a fish. because they have gills, so they are able to breathe underwater.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Why were you in an igloo? I don't know, why were you?

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anything Dane Cook says

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Doctor Doctor I think I'm a dog. Sit down on the couch and tell me about it. Ok.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is brown and sticky?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a gay Chinese math teacher? A gay Chinese math teacher.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Chuck Norris does not get sick; He only gets sick when his immune system is weak.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops