canaan and mallory

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full house should of been called black jack, because the Olsen twins started getting hit on at age 8 and didn't stop til they were 21

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Why did Patrick cross the road Because he saw a rock

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A priest a rapist and a child molester walk into a bar. He orders a drink

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What's white and red all over? A white guy who walked in the ghetto.

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The person below me is weird.

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raising eyebrows to expose eyes can also be a signal of attraction ('I'm looking at you, gorgeous. Can you see?').

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What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

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What color is Michael Jackson? Pale because he's dead.

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If I could rearrange the letters of the alphabet.... dklaujeo bnvalue doiandkluq!!

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What do you call a piece of Swiss cheese with human characteristics? Abnormal.

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What did the African boy get for his Christmas present for the first time? Leprosy

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What do you call a blonde on anti-joke? Fairly paranoid because of the typical blonde stereotype.

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roses are red. violetss are black. a knife would go good in your back

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Yo Mama is so old that she is probably unable to become pregnant.

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yo mama is so ugly she walked by a mirror and looked at her reflection cuz thats what mirrors do

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What do you get when you cross a black man and an octopus? I don't know, but it sure would pick a lot of cotton.

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A guy walks into a bar. He puts an icepack on his head so it doesn't swell, and decides to go out for a drink. He walks into a bar and thinks to himself, "that's twice today, maybe I should just go home."

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Why Lilly fell out of a cradle ? She had no arms.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Pineapples have a smaller volume than the sun

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What did the pimp do to his bitch? He thanked her and rewarded her for her years of dedication and preserverance

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so a unicorn walks into a bar... and then i woke up

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops