roses are red i have a phone nobody texts me forever alonee lol

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Q: If your 17 year-old-daughter is a drug addict, how many cartwheels are you going to have to do to make it to Georgia? A: The French Revolution, because your grandmothers facebook shows an 11 year-old selling Concords to a green alien, which can only mean that over 600 people watch pórn daily.

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25

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What's older than history? Pre-history.

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Why did the blackjack player gamble every night and day and not eat, sleep, or use the bathroom? To practice for a tournament in which the grand prize was to save his dying grandmother.

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Wade

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How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Trick question! Feminists can't change anything.

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Why did the Japanese man fall down the stairs? He was blind and deaf and not aware of his surroundings to prevent himself from doing so.

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car. who's driving? The black guy because he just turned 16. His school mate the Mexican child is still only 15 and he will have to wait a few more months before he can drive.

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What do you call an alligator in a vest? An amphibious mammal wearing clothes. Why would you ask me that.

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Why did Ashley run out of juice in her house? Because she drank it all!

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Hey

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( . Y . )

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A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

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Q: How many jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 6 million and 1

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What do you do when a black person steals your computer Inform the authorities, as theft is a felony.

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all jokes aside...

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What is big, white, and hurts when it falls from the sky? A FRIDGE

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What's black and is as fast as a car? A black car.

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What do you get when you cross the motorway with a lottery ticket? You get knocked down and killed.

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a older brother and a lil brother have bunk beds, one night the older brother has his gf sneak over, they are going to have sex. he tells his gf, "say lettace for a new positon and say tomato for stop", they start and she screams, "lettace, tomato, lettace, tomato". then the lil brother says " will you guys stop making salad, ur getting mayonase all over my face!!!!"

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You's so ugly you should consider facial reconstruction surgery if it's covered by your insurance.

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How do you get a blond to fall over? Shoot her with a shotgun.

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What do you call a dinosaur with no teeth? He's British

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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