how did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to a chicken..

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Clause? Tiger Woods is a well-known golfer and Santa Clause is a mythical man who delivers presents to young children.

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one. He might have trouble focusing, but his ADHD in no way prevents him from completing such a task.

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What's harder than winning an argument with a woman. Lonsdaleite which has recently been declared the hardest substance known to man, and can withstand 58% more stress than the hardest diamond crystal.

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What does the Fawkes say? "Remember, remember, the 5th of November..."

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Knock Knock And then I looked through the peephole and I saw it was the handyman that was going to fix my leaky sink so I opened the door

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Why do midgets laugh when they run? The grass tickles their balls.

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This is not a joke

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How do I get to Carnegie Hall? The address is 881 Seventh Avenue at 57th street in New York. it's beside the Russian Tea Room and almost directly across from the IESE school of business. The Russian Tea Room has a large bright red awning out front and a large carving of three dancing bears on the face of the building, the bears are covered in gold leaf. You can't miss it.

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Justin Bieber

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Why did you laugh at this joke. Because it was funny.

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Why don't rhetorical questions need answers? Because that is what makes them rhetorical.

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Why do black people have dark skin? Lack of melanin in their skin. You learn something new every day.

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Guy 1: why are you such a douche? Guy 2: cause douches get the most p***y

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? A comment saying "I don't think that's an anti-joke"

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What did Bobby get for Christmas? Nothing, Bobby is an orphan and has no friends.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? A tragic drowning victim. And later, food for sharks, probably.

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So an irishmen, jewish, and asain walk into the bar...and the bartender said get out..

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Why did the kid hide under the table? There was an earthquake.

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What is translucent and smells like a carrot ? A translucent carrot.

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NEVER

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What do you call someone who takes a toaster into their bath? Adele's number one fan.

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Q: Whats The Difference between Batman and Blackman? A: One can go to a store without Robbing it...

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Q: What would happen if you didn't sleep all night? A: You would probably be really tired and start seeing things and speaking strange sentences as a result.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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