why did the guy with cancer die? because he had cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +60

Did i just hear a joke about birds? No? Well this is Hawkward.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's grosser than gross? Grossest.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why was sally crying? she was sad

thumb_up thumb_down -4

If an iPad 2 is better than an iPad 1, than what's better than an iPad 2? An iPad 3

thumb_up thumb_down -11

"Knock knock." "Who's there?" Not the best move Anne Frank ever made.

thumb_up thumb_down +109

I remember my days you know in the army, agfanifuckingstan, got dirty water, then spent a week shitting... Anyway, I was holding a grenade right? And then two of them came around and I was like "here come good boy! GOOOD BOY! Catch the ball!" And then I pulled the pin and threw it. Aww shut up, you are all like "YOU SOLDIER KILL PUPPIES!" NO THOSE WHERE KIDS! And they would have been like 15 today and been killing your men today! YOU ARE SO FUCKING WELCOME!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why was 6 afraid of 7? cause 789! no, not anymore, didn't you hear? 6 and 9 got together last night and 8 eachother.

thumb_up thumb_down -234

Three men walk into a bar because they were all blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Call me Mr. Flinstone, for that is my surname.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the chicken cross the road? It followed a trail of bird feed that was strewn across the street.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What is the same about a bird and a turtle? They can both fly . . . except for the turtle

thumb_up thumb_down +179

Why are these jokes so funny? I don't know?

thumb_up thumb_down -71

Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walk briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

So I was making this bagel right?And my dad walks in while I'm making this bagel(cause we're in a rush you know?) and he's yells"HURRY UP!!!!"I'm like man.... I sure do got alot of YELL in my bagel .

thumb_up thumb_down -165

What do you call a griraffe and a duck who's favorite colors are both purple? A coincidence in which two unrelated species have the same preference in colorant hues.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q:What happens when a bug walks into a bar A:It gets stepped on

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q: What do you call an exact duplicate of Homer Simpson who's been enhanced with numerous special powers and a strength-boosting inducer among other beneficial additions? A: A mobidly overweigth individual who hasn't realized what the phrase, "Go on a diet", even denotes/implies.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

thats the same sound ur mom made in bed last night

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did one ginger say to the other We have red hair

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Horse tits

thumb_up thumb_down -155

Q. Why did the sheep die? A. I pushed it off a bridge

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what's the difference between an abortion clinic and my basement? there are more dead fetuses in my basement

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops