whats white a smells like paint. whtie paint.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what did the poor kid get from santa? Nothing santa hates poor kid, but the rich kid got a very nice convertable.

thumb_up thumb_down -138

Whats funnier than a baby in a jar? A baby in ten jars.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

j

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Your momma is so fat that when she fell over, she couldn't get back up without help, and she probably got several bruises.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man walk into a bar. He then falls down, quickly picks himself up, and continues his life.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Guy 1 : "I like your hat." Guy 2: "That's my hair, you moron."

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Yeah Aodhans been typing up everything strting argument along with taggart

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Listen bitch, get over here, let me poke out your fucking eyeball, and then you tell me if it is reasonable or not to fucking be pissed afterwards! As for your goddamn technique, of course I understand it, I use it too, its the ironman method as far as I am concerned. Do not share it with people here, you can go share it with your little "shadow people" but that shit took years to develop. But yeah, you tell me whatever the hell you consider "reasonable" you get me the money, and then we can see about being "reasonable". I know many of your methods, NLP, hypnosis, covert, warm and cold reading, I know you are no fucking psychic nor do you read minds, stop telling me what the hell your "Order" is, because whatever the hell it is, your "Nero`s" have proven on this site alone, that its a laughingstock that in no way could have brought six hundred people towards liking you, even less six millions.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? were lawyers

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do the snake and the bird have in common? They can both fly, except for the snake...

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Where did Lucy go after being hit by a train? Well, the results of this question are somewhat difficult to pinpoint, but here is a generalized ratio model. 47% of Lucy went underneath the trains wheels and was left behind, crushed into the railway sleepers. 33% was thrown aside and discarded around the SIDES of the track. 19% was carried on the front of the train, into the next station where it fell off as soon as the train stopped. 1% was found in Mount Everest.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the student shoot his teacher? Because he was super depressed and was just diagnosed with stage four brain cancer. And he was black.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: What's the difference between Catholism and Judiasm? A: There are many substantial and vital distinctions between Judaism and Christianity. Of course, there are many similarities as well, primarily because Christianity emerged from Judaism. However, the emergence was not a direct line. Christianity broke from Judaism, forming a new religion, so it is misleading, however comfortable the thought might be, to believe that the two religions are essentially the same, or to see Christianity as the natural continuation of Judaism.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What does Pontiac stand for? Nothing. Pontiac's were discontinued

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what do you call a dead baby in a blender? -taken care of. by: Calee^_^•

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: What's worse than burning your tongue on hot chocolate. A: Getting shanked by a homeless man

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Nothing because saying a fish can talk is like saying Obama is a good president.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

what did the penguin say to the other penguin after they rolled down a hill, and fell into a pile of leaves then proceeded to go swimming, play basketball, go swimming again and then play ping pong and pool? nothing. penguins cant talk

thumb_up thumb_down +10

This guys walks in a forest and meets a bear. So he says : - Yo yo, whattup, bear ? And the bear says "ROAR!" Because he's a bear.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

2 guys are on a scaffolding. One of them says to the other "If you fall from here, theres a high probability you will die"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

person 1:Dude, look at the news person 2:Yea man, its D ick Cheney person 1: what a d ick head

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What does a girl with no arms on a swing? Falls.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How did the chicken cross the road? Assuming the vehicles yielded to the chicken, it looked both directions before crossing then proceded across the street while staying between the crosswalk lines until it had reached the other side of the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops