I enjoy anal.

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When I'm sad I cut myself... another slice of cheesecake.

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So a bear walks into a bar. Everyone in there goes hysterical with the fright. Two people are killed by it.

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Why did the little boy cross the road? He didnt, he got hit by a car and died

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What's green, three feet tall, and can live forever? Definitely not Julie Andrews.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends on gender and environment, but a fully grown, adult, male polar bear weighs from 800 to 1600 pounds.

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robin, get in the car.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. His family is struggling financially and his children are severely malnourished. If he wasn't an alcoholic, he could afford healthcare for his family and move into a better neighborhood. But he's not, so they will die a long, painful death.

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My life is a dream in of itself.. inception???

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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So Nero, do we tell people your comments are all containing codes and stuff so we can stay in touch?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was a free-range chicken

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the dog that was chasing it.

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What did the bartender say to the bugatti owner? "Don't drink and drive"

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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What? Why?

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Why do dogs lick their balls? Why? Because they can.

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knock knock? whos there? eatmop. eatmopwho? HAHAHAH EAT MY POO

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Why was the boy drinking toilet water? Because he was receiving a violent swirly. He then went home and killed himself.

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? Well, to tell you the truth, I think that the chick-fa-lea came first.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was sick and tired of all the repeated monkey jokes and commited suicide and preceded to fall out of the tree.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? ... THE DOOR!!

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What do elephants have that no other animal has? Baby elephants.

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Q. What does a blonde and beer bottles have in common? A. Nothing. Blonde is a hair color and beer bottles are inanimate objects used to contain various brands of beer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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