An irish man and a lebanese man jump off a cliff who wins? No one it wasnt a race

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What's that smell? Your feces droping in the toilet

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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On a scale of 1 to Kevin James, how much do you exercise?

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A black guy, a Jew, and a Mexican jump out of a plane. Who dies first? Well, judging by the fact that black people in general have a higher body mass, the black man most likely would smash into the ground first.

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How do you kill a clown? You smash his face into a brick.

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What do you call Metta World Peace after he has hit somebody? Metta World War.

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if life gives u lemons....chuck them back and say u wanted muffins instead!!!!!!!!!!!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Cancer.

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A woman went for a midnight jog. She's been missing for 12 years now.

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Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the Frisbee gettiing bigger and bigger and bigger.." Then it hits me.

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Three men are on a plane (note this is a low altitude plane) they're are going on they're 2nd grizzly bear hunting trip in Alaska. they crash into a mountain and all die. except the pilot. he left the wreckage and died from the freezing temperatures of an Alaskan winter.

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there was once a time before tht time when there wasnt bonerss there were erectionss CC

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Why is the little boy sad? His parents died in a car crash.

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Welcome to the anti-joke Olympics! As you can see ladies and gentlemen, our contestants are starting to look very excited as the "who can look the most bored" competition is just about to begin! We are terribly sorry to announce that as for the butterfly style contest, all of the butterflies drowned :( While at this corner, we can see these contestants have been waiting patiently for hours for the "who is the most impatient" contest to begin! While over here, none of our contestants have yet to make a chicken cross the road and tell them why! In the meantime watch as we mistreat these Jews in order to find out what is worse, the holocaust or a worm in your apple! So far our contestants with worms in their apples are complaining more, but dying significantly less, how will this end! How exciting! Finally our swing contest has been cancelled as Sally refuses to get on it! Moral: BUT WILL IT BLEND!

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Whats pink and screaming? a skinned baby in a bucket of vinegar+

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what does the homeless man do when he gets home? nothing, he's homeless

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What's another word for a priest? Rapist

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A biology teacher walks into a bar. "Ouch," he says. "I bet I just lost some brain cells. I wonder if any of them were going through mitosis..."

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Why did Susie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't she catch herself? She had no legs. What did she get for Christmas? Cancer. What did she get for her birthday? Nothing, she died.

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the person who wrote 1 under me is gay

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What's the difference between an airplane and a cantaloupe? What? Wow your a dumby head.

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what did one apple say to another apple nothing apples cant talk

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What the did the man say to his boss? You are my boss.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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