I've got 99 problems and they're all stressing me out and causing me to be very unhappy.

Why did the Michael lose the race? Because he had no legs.

who's that hot blonde at the disco? your mother.

roses are blue, violets are unicorns, this poem doesnt make any sense. refrigerator

What's worse than having an ugly face? AIDS

Man: get back in the kitchen! Women: no Man: ok

What is black, white and red all over? Something that pertains those characteristics

Why was the blond stupid? She wasnt, its just that everyone loves stereotypes

Hey connor and brett its ben, you are both at my house

Chuck Norris doesn't do pushups, his personal trainer designed a regiment for him that didn't involve them.

Who's obsessed with death and love to make jokes about it? The majority of the contributors in this site.

what did the nostalgic robot barber say to all of his customers before cutting their hair? 0010101000011100101000100100100110101010100101010101010

What's brown and sticky? A Stick!

Q. What do mummies do when they run out of toilet paper? A. Nothing - they're dead and inanimate.

A guy walks into a bar and says 'Ow!'

Girls got to Jupiter to get more stupider. Boys go to Mars to build a sophisticated civilization.

Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

Where did the guy who shot his neighbor go? Jail, because he was caught, sent to court, and was convicted of murder.

Why is Henrik so AWESOME? Cos HE just IS!!!!

How does a black guy in debt make money fast at the bank? He applies for a loan and conscientiously works hard to pay off the loan in turn, which he was lucky enough to get at a low interest rate.

How did the chicken cross the road? By foot.

Your mothers so dumb that when she had to take a math test, she received a significantly lower grade than the rest of her classmates.

Yo mama is so fat that she has to buy plus size clothes because small size clothes would be inappropriate for her to wear.

Last week, I visited the Virgin Islands. Now it's just called Islands.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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