What did the orphan do on Mother's Day? He went to the cemetery

Q: Why did Sara fall off the swing? A: She had no arms... Q: Knock Knock! Q: Who's there? A: NOT SARA! --- Q: Okay... What song does Sara sing to her arms? A: Somebody That I Used To Know... --- Now. If you're happy and you know it clap your... nevermind O_O

What's black and has been free since the 1700's? What? I don't know, i was asking you.

What's black, blue, red, green, white, purple, orange, yellow, etc.? Last I checked, a bunch of colors

OK, so there's this blonde driving down the road in her brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 Lamborghini. She's cruising at about 95, radio blaring, having a great time. She comes up on this trucker who is carrying a double-wide home and is taking up both lanes. To her disliking, he is only going about 45. To get the point across that she wants to get past, she decides to tailgate him. So, she gets to within a foot of his rear bumper. The trucker looks back and sees her on his ass, and motions for her to get off of it, but to her it looks like a wave and she waves back. Since her first attempt was futile, she decided to get a little closer and begin flashing her headlights, hopefully making herself more visible in the process. Once again the trucker sees her on his ass, and this time motions for her to pull over to the side of the road. The trucker steps out of his vehicle with a chunk of chalk and draws a circle three feet in diameter in the middle of the road. He instructs her not to move until he tells her to. Naive as she was, she agrees to it and steps inside it. The trucker goes back to his truck and pulls out a 50-ounce Louisville Slugger. He walks over to the Lamborghini and beats it, and beats it, and beats it again. When he is done, all that is left is a brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 pile of metal. Satisfied, he throws the bat in his truck and walks over to the blonde. When he gets there, to his astonishment, the cops were waiting. He was found guilty in court and forced to pay the blonde a settlement of $250, 000.

yo mummas so FAT to get to the other side

lol

How come Jimmy didn't take his math test? Dead babies can't take math tests!

What did the black guy do to the hooker, he took her dead body out of his trunk

Q:What has more brains than the baby you just shot? A:The wall behind it!!!

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

What's normally shaped like a rectangle, and is so thin, it gives people cuts? Paper.

Why did little tomas cry? Because he got raped by his uncle

Yo Momma is so fat she is at risk of contracting Type 2 Diabetes.

Why did the Mexican jump the fence? He was at his neighbors house and it was shorter to cut through yards than to walk to his house

What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels

What do you call a Jewish police officer? It depends on if you are Mel Gibson or not.

why did the cow die because she ate poisoned apple pie

Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

Why did the man kill himself? Because he had a gun

Knock Knock Who's there? Bob Bob who? Your neighbor

Why couldn't Gladice get out of bed? Because she was dead!

why is the black guy cross the rode. he did not' he got in a truck. i know it does not make s...

bryden is a faggot

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...