how do you scare a blonde person? dress up in orange and scream "mustard"

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Why did the boy jump in the van? Because his parents had just been in a terrible car accident.... There where 2 fatalities.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a car? A lot.

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? well if 7 8 9 then what happened to the rest?

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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Roses are red. Violets are black. Why is your chest, As flat as my back?

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Why was Harry arrested? Because he stabbed multiple children.

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A Cadillac Escalade ran off a cliff with 4 black man in it. What's wrong with this? The Cadillac could hold 6 people.

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Why did the woman go out of the kitchen? She did not because she had a curse put on by a man off the streets of Greek row a Yale that said u may never leave the closest kitchen near this very spot, and it turns out that the closest kitchen was in a frat house across the street so now she is stuck in the kitchen making sandwiches for all the frat bros at this Yale frat house, So basically she was in her place

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs gets for Christmas? Cancer

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is an Italian pastry with tomato sauce, cheese and other toppings and the other is a human being.

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Knock, Knock. Come in.

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What did Mary say to Vishnikharmut? You're name is weird. What did Vishnikharmut say to Mary? Your grammar is incorrect.

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why did the girl cross the road? no one knows because she was hit with a car and died on impact.

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A Jew doesn't walk out of the Holocaust.

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What did the jacket say to the girl? Zip me up wait why am I talking

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What do you call a group of black people in a lamboghini..... Unlikely

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A Blonde, a brunette, and a redhead where hiding from the police They were all shot and all died because they were playing Grand Theft Auto 5

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a well respected member of the community.

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A man walked into a bar, and clutched his stomach in pain as it was a steel bar and it hurts when you walk right into a steel bar.

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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what cuts the grass on christmas eve and lives in mexico? JP I lied about Mexico jackin it in san diego

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What did the young girl say to her step-dad? Nothing. She no longer talks to him after years and years of sexual abuse which left her emotionally scarred.

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what do you call a gay bird a gaybird

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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