A priest, a rabbi, and a baleen whale walk into a bar. The priest says, "Well I believe Jesus Christ is the only begotten son of God and my lord and savior, so I'll have some communion wine." The rabbi says, "Well I don't believe the messiah has yet walked the earth, so I'll have Manischewitz wine." The baleen whale says "EEEEEEOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNHHHHHHHHHH"

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Why is water clear? Because it doesn't have a pigmentation.

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What happens when you throw a penny between two Jewish men? Probably nothing, but one of them might pick it up and ask if you have dropped a penny.

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What goes up a hill with 4 legs and comes down with 3? A horse, which, upon reaching the top of the hill, has one of its legs chopped off, which is when the horse proceeds down the hill.

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... Chan chan

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Roses are green Violets are yellow I have an optical disorder

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What is 6 1/2 inches when erected? My penis.

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A bass player walks past a bar. What? It could happen.

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A tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it... Fall on top of a woman and crush her to death

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What did the carrot say to the apple? Sandals

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Whats worst than being stuck in a cage with one blonde? Being stuck in a cage with four blondes.

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he overslept and missed a job interview and a chance to support his family.

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What does it smell like, what does it feel like, do you like it? Yes

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What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot, you f***ing racist.

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Bobby walked into a bar. He was then escorted out of the bar and arrested because he was underage.

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why did the chicken cross the road cause he was suicidal but a car just didnt happen to hit him.

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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Whats worse than a dead baby in a puddle of blood? A dead baby in soup.

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"knock knock" "who's there?" "its your girlfriend, lets have sex"

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A black man is in line for a club. The bouncer says: This is a white party only. The black man says: Damn, I wasnt aware I had to wear white clothing. He then left the line and told himself to check the promotional page on facebook more often.

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what's worst than being gay? being black

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What do I smell like to you?? Crap.

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That awkward moment when your brother goes to crack his neck, but he dies instead.

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What do you get when you cross a taco with a a bungee cord? An inedible taco.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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