How often does the lesbian vampire group meet up? Never. Lesbians don't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

How do you stop a bus? You press the brake pedal, causing the brake pads to squeeze the tires. Which will slow the momentum of the bus to the point of stopping.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the burglar rob the bank? because he needed money due to the economic decline.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why couldn't the little boy find his friend in hide and go seek He was blind

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Whats the difference between a black man and a banana? Banana's don't hijack planes.

thumb_up thumb_down

What trees do fortune tellers look at? Whichever variety of species are indigenous to where they live.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why is the sky blue? Because it is

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What the difference between a car and a dead child I dont have a car in the basement

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are red the grass is green now open your legs and let me fill you with cream

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the young boy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,992

Did you hear the one about the Mexican that went to college? All his life, Juan wanted to get a decent education, but was unable to due to his family's low income. So Juan worked hard all his life, and got a part-time job. He made a little cash here, a little there. He also studied vigorously, getting a 33 on his ACT. All that work eventually paid off, and Juan was eventually accepted at Princeton University. Juan is now a highly paid Neurological surgeon, and has saved countless lives

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I don't want to hear another joke about female hygiene, PERIOD! -Lets go Mets

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why did the homosexual man cross the road? to get to his gay partner.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Some guy stapled it to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A terrorist threw a refrigerator at it. Why did the girl fall off her bike? She was hit by 3 dead monkeys and a refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a piece of toast.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A woman comes at the doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend........... Wiped his ass

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A guy walks into a bar. He has a couple beers, gets in his car and goes home. He got arrested on the way because it is illegal to drink and drive.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Donald Trump decided to run for President.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a Mexican mixed with a platypus? a pineapple

thumb_up thumb_down +46

poop

thumb_up thumb_down -71

Do you know what Chuck Norris does for a living? He's an actor, I also heard he's quite good with martial arts.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What would you do for a Klondike Bar? Well I would open the freezer.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops