Roses are red, Violets are blue.. And IDGAF!

what is worse then finding a worm in your apple find a worm in your ass

What's the difference between a baby and an onion? I cry when I chop up an onion.

Knock Knock Fuck off. I am new here. I do not know anyone here.

Two Atheists walk into a bar. A nearby Christian notices this fact and proceeds to slightly preach to both of the Atheists. They then kindly explain that they don't personally believe in God, but respect the Christian's opinion. They all order drinks, and become very close friends, engaging in a long, hateless conversation.

What do you call a growing family of micro-organisms? Cancer

Why did the man drink water? Because he was thirsty

Why did the chicken cross the road? The screams were loud. It was just one big fire behind him. He and his fellow chickens had been trapped. They thought they were being freed... They thought wrong. The guards herded them in and then the heat started. The fires began to rage. His friends, his allies, his brothers, were falling dead, burning, beside him. He had to escape. He did not think, only acted. Lashing out at the guard, he knocked him down and ran. He ran and ran until he could run no more, and he still kept running. He could still hear his brothers' screams. He could still see their faces burning before his eyes. He reached the road, and finally stopped. He looked around. The screams had stopped. The heat had left his body. But then another sound came. Yelling. The guards. They were following him. He tried to keep running. But he just couldn't. He was finished. He fell on the road, sliding himself along as quickly as he could. He hadn't run this far to be caught by the guards. He stopped. He could go no further. He looked up and saw the blue sky, cloudless and free. The last thing he heard was a roaring engine. The guards never found his body.

Why is jordan goldstein a fag cause he doesnt like my videos

7

A man walks into a bar and sees a woman starring at him, she seems attractive... he walks up to her and realizes that sheis quite mediocre if not even ugly. He proceeds to say "You'll do"

Chuck Norris is so strong, he can lift really heavy things without hardly even trying.

knock knock who's there i am dead i am dead who i am just dead u idiot!!!!!

A baby seal walks into a club.

whats brown and smells like shit shit

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

If you're American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out, what are you inside? American! What are you, a communist?

knock knock..... ding dong...... knock knock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! they weren't home

What magical power enables Spongebob to talk? There is no magical power. he is a cartoon therefore making him be able to anything in anyone's wild dreams.

Bob Saget

Hey are you from Tennessee, 'cause you have a very nice accent.

What did Jesus say to Moses? Jesus doesn't exist. Moses replied, "Do you think I'm stupid, you're standing right next to me!"

life is like a rapist. sometimes they're nice other times, they ram you in the ass.

Why does everyone treat Jesus as some sort of saint for making five thousand people bread, when Hitler made six million people toast?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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