How do you make Chuck Norris cry? Kill his family.

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Real Joke: The US Air Force operates Seymour Johnson Air Force Base. It is named for a seaman. Go look it up.

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two scientists walk into a bar. one says, "i want h2o." the other says, "i want h2o too." the bartender gives them both water and nobody dies because he is not irresponsible enough to give someone concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.

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How many ADD kids dose it take to screw in a light bulb? one; the attention deficit disorder dose not take away the ability too screw in a light bulb.

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch!" Passersby notice the man is blind, which caused him not to notice the bar. He later died in the hospital from severe head trauma

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B==========D-------------------------- im pissin man! god!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 6 was racist.

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What's worse than dropping your loli-pop? The Holocaust

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What's green and eats rocks? A green rock-eater.

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A Fat person walks out of mcDonalds

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What's the difference between Chuck Norris and broccoli? A lot.

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Life

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Two Iranians walk into an airport They show their passports and proceed to fly to their home in Minnesota

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Ted: Joe, do you think I'm dumb? Joe: No, I think you're Ted.

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What's red and sticky A DEAD BABY

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Why did the motorcyclist die? I heard he was sat on by Chuck Norris.

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What is a baby chick after 9 days old? 10 days old.

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Why didn't the man say, "Hello, Morgan Freeman!" when his friend walked by? Because his friend wasn't Morgan Freeman.

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a blonde takes 1 hour to swim 100m of breaststroke.

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two nuns were driving in Transylvania when a vampire jumps out in front of their car the first nun said "show it your cross" so the secong got out of the car and yelled Get out of the way you pric!!!!

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What is the difference between Boyscouts and Jews? Boyscouts come home from camp.

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An old woman and her grandson arrive at the hospital, only to discover the floor drenched in triceratops shit.

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How do you make a black man cry? Stab his wife.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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