What do a carrot and a kangaroo have in common? Nothing...

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whats brown and stick? brown paint that has not dried yet.

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Whats Do You call people, on the top floor of a Double-Decker bus? Passengers

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Why did Johnny lose the race he got jawed by a pack of chimpanzees

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Once upon a time, A lonely man was living in the woods. He died of exhaustion, dehydration, starvation, and bacterial infection. The end. Once upon a time, Another lonely man was living in the woods. He built a house, made a well, made a farm, got married, had kids, and had a wonderful life. The end.

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Q: whats the difference between a shoe and a ginger? A: shoes have soles.

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Yesterday i ate an owl with all the feathers on it

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did you know why people keep saying "you know...you know..." in their conversation? well i don't know

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in every apple.

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Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

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Q1: How do you get an elephant to laugh? A1: Tell it a joke. Q2: How do you get a cow to laugh? A2: Cows can't laugh.

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For no reason at all Pac-man was being chased by evil monsters while eating his luch...He choked on his food and died

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I like my coffee like I like my slaves... Free

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Your momma is so fat that she decided to begin an exercise program and eat healthy and she lost weight.

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What killed Hitler? His gas bill.

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How do you confuse an idiot? By confusing an idiot.

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How does Michael J. Fox like his Martini? With an Olive

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why did the man jump out of the plane without a parachute? Im not really sure, maybe to commit a slow and painful suicide.

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What do you call an arab flying a 747? A pilot.

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Whats worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm? Biting into your dog and finding a worm.

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Explain the term 'Standard of Living'? Not having sex with diseased and obese women.

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"What would you do if i gave you a million dollars?" "I would scream and jump up and down? Are you really gonna give me a million dollars?" "No i just wanted to see what you would have said, that's all"

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http://richardfigures.com/

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Person1: wanna hear a joke? Person2: yeah Person1: ok

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops