what do a plane and a mouse have in common? nothing

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What did the doctor say to the man with cancer? You have cancer.

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So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

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How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Eight, because there's one tickle per tentacle!

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Want to hear a joke? No.

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What's 9+10 20+1-1-1+2-1-1+1-2+1

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What do you a call a person who can't fly. A person.

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Why couldn't the man find his watch? Because he was mugged by a homeless man and had severe brain damage..... ....and because he left it at the office

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Knock Knock Who's there? The electrician, I'm here to fix your door bell.

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Why did the kid poop his pants? He was a baby

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How do you distinguish between an unlabeled carton of milk and an unlabeled carton of cream without breaking the seals? You label them.

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Whats the difference between a bench and a black man? A bench is an inanimate object incapable of speech, emotion, or thought process.

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what is differnt about a boyscout and a jew? the boyscout comes back from camp

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why did the man shave his balls cause they were unnecessarily hairy

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Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? He's dead.

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How does a black woman know she is pregnant? When she pulls her tampon out the cotton is already picked.

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What is 8 times 4? 32

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Why did the Jewish girl fall off the swing? Because Amon Goeth shot her in the head from his balcony with his rifle. --Amon Goeth's friend

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How do you get a black guy down from your tree? You tell him to do so.

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Q: where did the pickle live? A: In the desert

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A boy askes santa for a baby brother. Santa says give me your mom.

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Why do jews get their foreskin cut off? Because they're jewish.

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There was once a family of termites. There was a Papa termite, a Mama termite, and a baby termite, called Motor. One day they reached a big fat log, and they decided they'd bore through. So first went Papa. Bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore...then out came Papa! Next came Mama. Bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore...then out came Mama! Last came Motor. Bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore...then out bored Motor!

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I scream! You scream! - You've Just Been Rapped

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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