Your momma's so ugly, she has endure self-esteem issues relating to her appearance that have plagued her since grade school.

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Character one: What did the blond say to the horse? Character two: you spelled blonde wrong.

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Q: What do you call a black man that's flying a plane? A: A pilot.

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an englishman,scotsman,and irishman walk into a bar the englishman says " a pint of lager please" "that will be 10pounds , says the barman "Im not paying that , ill see you in court" says the englishman . The same thing happens , in turn to the scotsman, and irishman ,and a summons is issued. In court the jugde says "why are you charging drinks too dear?" the barman says "im not, im selling them to a englishman ,scotsman, and a irishman..

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That joke was so funny that I fell off my dinosaur. Then afterwards had to be put in a rehabilitation center because I am schizophrenic and dinosaurs are extinct.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Refrigerators come in an assortment of colors

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What happened to the man who sat outside in the sun too long? He died of skin cancer.

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Q. How many blondes does it take to put in a lightbulb? A. Cause of 7,8,9!

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What's green and stands in a corner? A naughty frog.

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If a tree falls, and nobody is around to hear it, does it still make a sound? No. While the falling tree surely creates mechanical oscillations in the air, sound is defined as the mechanical oscillations in the air perceived by humans. Therefore, since no humans were around to hear the tree fall, it did not create a sound.

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What's the difference in a big brother and a wee brother? Ones big, ones small.

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How many Chinese people does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection? Quarter pounder with cheese.

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What's the similiarity between a black person and a bicycle? They both work best with chains.

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why do jews like money? So they can support their family.

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a bag of dead babies. I don't have a Ferrari in garage.

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What happened to the boy who ate too much? He got type 2 diabetes

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Why doesn't Micheal Jackson do a music video with Usher? Because he is dead.

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A man and a woman are having sex. The man finishes and says, "Oh, God, I hope you're on the pill." The girl says she isn't and begins to cry. Lacking a job or a stable life, the man leaves the woman. The woman has an abortion and suffers irreversible damage to her ovaries.

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so i was F***in this guy the other day with my penis.....shit! i mean i was F***in this girl and i jizzed

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Why did the girl hang herself? She was constantly bullied in school and on the internet.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? A catfish could never pass the LSAT because it is unable to perform high-level critical thinking.

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What did the duck get for Christmas. A potato. Not really it got nothing because it's a duck

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Seargent: Quick seal off all the exits so he cant get away. Private: OK 2 minutes later Private: He escaped sir Seargent: What, how Private: through one of the entrances

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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