Why did the drunk driver get into an accident? It was a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Jack and Jill went up the hill. It was in the middle of winter and they froze to death.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do a fish and a bird have in common? They both live under water. Apart from the bird.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Imagine a scenario Add a Rhubarb Crumble into your scenario Add your mother and father sitting together watching the news in your scenario. Your scenario should take place in an old people's home Add an Olympic athlete doing the splits into your scenario If there were any crane-flies in your scenario, be sure to subtract them at once. Divide your scenario by two. Your scenario should now be a mental image of flying horses and a hippopotamus eating a large salmon mousse. There will be a pig tied to a pair of sunglasses.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What crime does a tree commit in order to be sent to prison? Trees on.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What has two feet and cant walk? a cripple

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did Harry Potter cast a spell on Chuck Norris' penis? Never mind.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Whats really down a black hole? I don't know...The last person to go down one never came back because he died of AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

how big is a midgets dick? i dont know but probably bigger then mine

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What goes up a smokestack instead of down? Murdered Jews, when they get cremated.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Yo mamma is so fat, that she's going on a diet and is exercising regularly to lose wait.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did Frankenstein say to Dracula? Hey, that's a nice cape.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A jew went to Germany.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay guys house Knock Knock Who's there? The chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the difference between a park bench and a hobo? The park bench can support a family

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Your mom is so poor that her boobs are real.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What did the tree say to the plant. Nothing tree's cant talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q. Why did the man die? A. Natural Causes

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are red Violets are red I'm bleeding quite profusely and should probably go to the hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

knock,knock you suck

thumb_up thumb_down -2

THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Roses Are Red Lemons are sour, open up your legs and give me an hour

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops