Whats worse than being hit by a bus and dying? Being hit by a bus and listening to Justin Beiber in a hospital bed.

Why did Billy drop his lunchbox? Because he was mauled by a Hippo.

A ham sandwich walks into a bar, bartender says "We don't serve food here."

Q. What did the dog say to the cat? A. Ruff.

Knock, knock. Who's There? The Fire Department...

What do you call a muslim flying a plane> .....a pilot

An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

Frontbut-

Yo momma so stupid, she had you.

What? Why?

Why did the Jew post a free link on his Facebook wall? Because it is funny and he hoped his friends would like it.

what does a slim jim taste like? there is no answer because everyone has a different amount of taste buds

What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

the real mccoy

Why are anti-jokes so funny?

Q. how does james bond like his babies A.shaken not stirred but if u think thats bad wait till u see a stirred baby

A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks what will it be? Sarah Jessica Parker replies, i'll have 4 cosmopolitans for me and my friends.

Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow Plants come in different colors

Knock Knock. Who's There? Billy. Oh, come on in. You could have just knocked on my door or rang doorbell without saying "Knock Knock" though, that's kind of childish.

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What did the Chinese man say to the Japanese man Nothing as they have never met

How do you get a woman to stop nagging? Smack her in the face.

monkey sponge

24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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