Why did the lion get lost? -The jungle is massive

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What would you do for a Klondike bar? I'd go all the way to the store and buy one.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the rabbi say to the priest? I respect your religion but have faith in judiasm.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the blonde put lysol in the soup? to kill her husband

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Your mother is so fat that she has diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did Greg say to John? Nothing. Greg died in a horrible plane crash

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what's funnier than AIDS on a holocaust boy? everything. AIDS and the Holocaust are two terrible things.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man walks into a shop and picks up some items for his party. He walks out of the shop without paying for the items. The police are promptly called and the man receives a 4 year sentence in prison for shoplifting.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

You cannot invite, hire people for money and expect loyalty Red, you need to make them earn the right to work for you, merits, background checks, consistency, friend, I can help you with a lot of my own experience, what saddens me about you being the leader, is that you have a good heart. And you are naive, a dangerous combination, if anyone such as Jonas shows up again, your life may be in danger, I mean you know who I am talking about.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Yo mama's so fat that she has AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What do you call a black man who walks into a jail cell? A hard working and dedicated police officer who was just putting his first offender in jail.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why do women why perfume and make up? Because they're ugly and they smell bad.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Lol, thats funny, sorry for asking, but is your eye doing better? Was their IQ test the same one you get when you enter their site?

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What do a fish and an eagle have in common? They both live underwater aside from the eagle.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the turkey was in the oven and all the farm animals thought the chicken could run the errands in his place just fine.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why was Adam sad? His wife found him cheating with several women which led to a lengthy and messy divorce and him losing custody of his two children and his house.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

There's a skunk and a lawyer standing on the side of the road, what's the difference? There are tire marks infront of the skunk.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What happened to the newlywed couple who couldn't tell the difference between KY jelly and window putty? All their windows fell out.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a black guy holding a crate of watermelons? a farmer

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the man walk into the bar? He wast thirsty.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's worse than one bee sting? 2 bee stings. What's worse than 2 bee stings? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? 3 bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Roses are gray, violets are gray, everything's gray, bitch im a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Roses are red, violets are blue and the sun is very hot

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A husband and a wife were having a conversation: Woman: Why is the baby on fire? Man: I dont know. Woman: BUY ME SHOES!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops