In an alternate universe, Jake Sulley's brother did not die. The human race proceeded to strip-mine Pandora of all its mineral wealth, and slaughtered the entire indigenous population.

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Why did the black man scream in church? He felt like it.

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Ching Chong Bing Bong.. Yoyao? Dat U?

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How do you make a firefighter happy? Give him a blowjob and 10 million dollars.

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Two Jews walk into a bar. They promptly order their drinks and then leave.

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Homework.

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans

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a duck walks in to a gay bar and asks for a stick they asked where he wanted it before he could answer he was rapped

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how many jews can you fit in an oven? -well zero because the conventional oven cannot fit a full sized human

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knock knock

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what's the difference between a pound of liver and vomit? £3.24

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why did the chicken cross the road? the sudden lack of sidewalk dictated as such.

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Who is buried in Grant's Tomb? DeShawn

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What did the school bully get for his birthday? Beaten by his alcoholic father. Children are a product of their environment and his father's abusive nature towards his son forced the young boy to act out in class giving him the reputation of a bully.

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Q: How many pandas does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: I don't know.

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Just open the damn door

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how many drunk drivers does it take to drive home one and only one, if more than one drunk driver tried to drive home at the same time in the same car they would surely crash and not make it home.

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Rebecca Black was taking a leisurely stroll on a Friday afternoon. She was consumed by a lion.

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What did the bi-polar girl do when she found our her ex-boyfriend was living with another woman? Nothing; she was happy for their new relationship and realized life moves on, in addition to taking the daily appropriate amount of medication prescribed by her doctor.

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How many policemen does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they just beat up the room for being black

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Whats better than Anti-jokes? Mtiscape.com

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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Q: what's red and blue and covered in piss? A: everything. I'm so sorry.

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Colloqiual irregularities are a significant part of the English language, and excellent example of this is between can and may.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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