well, I'm dying of AIDS, so....

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How did the stapeler disappear? I ate it.

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yo mama is so dumb she went to dr. dre for a pepsmear

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Roses are red Violets are blue and oranges are orange nothing rhymes with orange

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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What do you get a black guy when he is hungry? Something edible.

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What happen to the girl that received chocolate on Valentine's day? She had a allergic reaction.

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why was the man itchy? because he had herpies

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Why did the boy drop the ice cream? Because he had a seizure.

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What's long, hard, and has come in it? A long, hardcovered book.

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Roses are shit Violets are my dick Guess what I do for a living? Sex with refrigerator monkeys!

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The elephant moonwalked. On the moon.

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A straight man walks into a gay bar and is amazed by the amount of fun he has and how cool people can be when you don't judge someone based on sexual preference or your own religious beliefs.

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What did the plane say to the twin towers? Boom

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What did the boy who succsesfully came out of liposection get? Diobeeties.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Sex! Sex Who? Sex with me. BOOM!

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What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord? ...an owl with a bungee cord.

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One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

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Two people on a boat, Pete and Repete. Pete fell off and Repete radioed the Coast Guard, who sadly got there just in time to watch him drown to his death.

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Why was the frog sad? Because he had a boy's face stapled to his feet.

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What is the difference between Boyscouts and Jews? Boyscouts come home from camp.

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a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

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Did you hear about the kid napping? They found his body in a ditch.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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