Your mom.

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theres no 'I' in 'team' but theres an 'I' in 'hitler'

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How many girls does ittake to screw in a lightbulb? Doesnt matter as long as dinner is on the table by 6:00

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a mexican and a black guy are sitting in a car, who's driving? the police

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There was a scientist that was doing a social experiment with mothers and their children. The name of first kid was named candy because it was her mothers favourite thing. The second kid name was rose because it was her mothers Favourite thing. The last mother knew what was happening and said to her son "Come on Dick".

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Halt! Who goes there?! It is I, Prince Ali Ba Ba of Yo mamas house. To what do I owe this pleasure of your kindness? I come to you with gifts, relics, and spices. All these can be yours if the price is right. Surely there must be a mistake here. How do you go about by and by without a horse? Are you who you say you are? English mothafucka do you speak it?!!! What is this mothafucka do you speak of? Say what again, I dare you! I double dare you mothafucka say what one more goddddam time. Oh wait stop, hammer time...

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If you and Chuck Norris have five dollars you both have the same amount of money.

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whats worse than finding a dead cat in your kitchen? a dead cat in your bedroom

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A rabbi, a nun, a priest, a hooker, a stripper, 2 secret servicemen, a teacher, a midget, a ginger, a rodeo clown, a nascar driver, a homosexual native american, a heterosexual native american, 2 portuguese tuba players, an african american taxi driver, a blind man, his seeing eye dog, a bartender, 2 minor league baseball players, 3 lesbian mexican salsa dance instructors and a dwarf are all in a bar. They all had a good time and the teacher and one ol the portuguese tuba players ended up becoming facebook friends.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Me. ME?!

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Why did he buy ANTIJOKE THE BOOK! - ? Because he wanted to read it.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot

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Friends are like bananas. If you peel your skin and eat them, they die.

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why couldn't the Mexican get a job? because of the multiple racist jokes gave his ethnicity a bad name.

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asian drivers.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had escaped from a KFC slaughterhouse, and proceeded forward to avoid getting caught. However, the chicken did not consider the childhood lectures off his parents about crossing the road safely, and got ran over by a black Golf GTI, and died instantly.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Gestapo.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was involved in a homicide at the Children's Hospital resulting in death row right away and the killing of 12 other numbers

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How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

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this website...

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When your scuba diving why do u jump off backwards beacause if u jump forwards than u witll still be in the boat!!!!!!

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What did Frieza say to Vegeta after killing his parents? "I killed your parents."

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What's the difference between a horse and a house? 1 letter.

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Q: What do you call 10 black people in the ocean? A: A family having a good time on an exciting scuba diving tour.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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