Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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How do you know your roommate is gay? His dick tastes like shit.

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A Jew walks into a gas chamber.

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Q: what do you call a phone that's fake? A: a phony...

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A man goes to the doctor complaining of pain. Everywhere I touch it hurts, he tells the doctor. "The cancer has spread," the doctor says. "Go home and spend your last days with your loved ones."

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So there's this big ass bronco right? It goes to a store and it asks Ben Roethlisberger "Do you know where I can find some girls to rape?" Ben Roethlsiberger says "In aisle 5" so the moose goes down to aisle 5 but there aint no girls!

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Friends are like potatoes. When you eat them, they die.

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Why did the little boy run away from Michael Jackson? Because he was scared

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A day without sunshine is like night.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because as an animal with legs it is highly capable of doing such as it pleases.

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A black goes to college

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She is so fast We call her Email Instead of Emily...

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Q. Why was 6 afraid of 7? A. Because 7 was a scary dude.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

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Knock knock Who's there doorbell Doorbell who Doorbells can't knock

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How come Susie fell off of the swing? -because I hit her with an axe Coolhsoj

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Life is like the Titanic. You cruise along on course and everything is great -- until you hit an iceberg and 1,517 people die.

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A student often slept through his alarm, which led to a lower class attendance rate and thus a poor performance on his exam

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What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

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Q. what did the white man say to the black man? A. hello

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How do Germans treat the Jewish? Kindly, and with much hospitality.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Too get to the other side. Duuu no one crosses the road to get killed.

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What is blue and has blue shoes? A blue shoe box

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops