dur dur dur dur said the child born during an earthquake

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A man sat down Then he stood up

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What is green, and could kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table.

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How do you fit 100 babies in a bucket? put them in a blender. How do you get them out? potato chips.

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What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? An Irish wedding is the celabration of two people joining in matrimony, and an Irish funeral is a somber rememberence of a deceased person.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I told him to. I'm very influential.

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What would you rather do or drag a board?

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Why did the white man rub the black man's hair for good luck? Because it's good luck to rub a black man's hair.

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It burns when I pee sometimes.

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Why did the old lady start crying? Because her daughter was raped and killed.

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Why are there no more monkeys jumping on the bed? I shot them all.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

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Your moma is so fat, that Jabba the Hutt says: "Damn!!!"

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An Irish man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and notices he has a steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants. "Hey," he says, "What's with the steering wheel down your pants?" The Irish man looks down at it, dumbfounded. "I have absolutely no idea," he says, and removes it.

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A guy walks into a restaurant.... He ordered his meal , got desert and left a nice tip based off a percentage of his final bill.

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It was the eve of December and a man was using a blanket why? because it was cold and he wanted to be able to function properly at work so his boss would not get mad at him because he respected his boss and wanted to make him happy

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Did you hear about that show where two crazy guy got on stage and the show had to be canceled. I didnt either.

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Are you Jewish? No. That's what Anne Frank said, too.

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A mogwai walks into a bar. The bartender says "Sorry, we don't feed mogwais after midnight."

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Why can't black people swim? Because most African American individuals grow up in inner urban cities where they have little or no access to swimming facilities.

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What's Red and Invisible? No Tomatos

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What do you call a group of jews hiding in an attic? Well, this sounds very similar to the events during World War II in which Anne Frank and various jewish refugees hid from the Nazis.

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What do you get if your mailman drops your letter in black paint? Blackmail

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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