Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs being pulled behind a boat? A: Skip.

What's harder than winning an argument with a woman. Lonsdaleite which has recently been declared the hardest substance known to man, and can withstand 58% more stress than the hardest diamond crystal.

Father: Son stop masterbating u might go blind Son: But Dad I'm over here

Knock Knock! Who's there? ... THE DOOR!!

Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van.

Your momma is so dumb... that when she took an IQ test she score pretty low on it.

Knock knock Who the fuck says knock knock?

What do a lamp and a elephant have in common? Big ears, except for the lamp, it doesn't have ears.

What is long, hard, cries a lot, and can't fall down a man-hole? A baby with a javelin through its neck.

i went through your mum like a plane on 9,11

roses ar red violets ar blue i have aids

A bear walks into a bar. Animal control was contacted and the bar was evacuated.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It lost it's grip on the branch and was unable to break it's fall before reaching the ground.

Why did the Muslim suicide bomber commit suicide? He was nervous and didn't think he could hijack a plane.

How did the black man cross the Atlantic? He did not. He drowned

what is worse finding a worm in your apple? Finding a grub in your apple.

Dave: Hey, Doug! How was your day? Doug: My mother is dead.

so a horse walks into a bar and the bartender syas why the long face and the horse says naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

What did the teacher say to the student? Get in the closet

What do you call a group of homosexuals placing an order at McDonalds? Gay

Roses are red Violets are fin I'll be the 6 You be the 9

Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because they're humans and many humans enjoy the savory taste of fried chicken.

What do you give a sick bird? First-Aid tweetment.

My aunt always said slow and steady wins the race She died in a fire

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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