Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his wife in the hospital. She has terminal cancer.

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What's black without keys. A keyboard after you hit it with a shovel.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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Why did Susy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Susy.

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What's white, warm, and dangerous? Cum.

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A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

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That awkward moment when your brother goes to crack his neck, but he dies instead.

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What did a cat said to another cat? Nothing because cats dont talk.

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whats bigger than a 4 school bus pile up? genocide.

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LOL -LOL GUY

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra!

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I killed someone today. :D

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If you go to an animal shelter to get a pet god, you may be dyslexic.

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Q: Why couldn't the man get laid? A: Women were afraid of his 7 testes and 4 penises.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Shit... Shit who? Wrong house... Do I know you Shitt Ronghouse? Yes. Please come in. Okay.

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Chrissy is funny.

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i hate christians and muslims, until drugs are involved. iduno what dat is, i try it.

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What did the little boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why did Samuel drive his car into a tree? Because the tree was being a total jerk, blocking the road.

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barack osama

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What is brown and smells? Poop

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Dey see me boilin' Dey choppin' God I'm so fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juiiiiiiccccy! MR MCCANN

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A white guy, a black guy, and a chinese man all walk in to a magic shop, at different times in the day to buy different products.

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A convict escapes a prison he's been in for 15 years. He's soon tracked down by police and put back in jail where he'll serve another 2 years of jail time along with his 5 remaining years.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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