What do a magazine and a banana have in common? They both have pages, except for the banana.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are red violets are blue I am in 301 Club and so are you.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

whats the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes home from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats fat, brown and on the ground? A chubby indian kid

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A doctor, a farmer, and a blonde walk into a bar. The doctor orders red wine because he knows it's good for the heart. The farmer orders a Piña Colada because he likes fruit. The two men wait eagerly to what the blonde is about to order. The blonde opens her purse and says "Damn it, I can't find my credit card." Suddenly, a handsome young gentleman walks up to her says "Don't worry miss, I'll buy a drink for you. What are you having?" The blonde looks up and says "Don't worry? I just lost my credit card!" In a fit a of anger, the blonde storms out the bar and doesn't order anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

In Soviet Russia a lot of people were killed for voicing their opinion against Stalin

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Blonde: what does IDK stand for? Brunette: it stands for I Don't Know Blonde: okay, I get it now

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the joke writer with A.D.D say refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did Old Man Robert fall down the stairs? Someone kicked him down. And then he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did Edward Cullen say to the hot girl? Since I am a vampire it is impossible for me to get an erection.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why did Charlie fall? He got shot 24 times in the chest.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How do you get a ninja to do a backflip? Ask him nicely.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's worse then an adult dying A baby dying

thumb_up thumb_down -36

So a man walks into a bar carrying a giant clock. One of his friends asks, "Hey, whats up with the clock?" His friend then responds, "A goddamned genie gave it to me, i can't take it anymore. Here take his lamp." The man decided to rub the lamp and thinks to himself, "Gee, I'm gonna wish for 1 million dollars." The genie comes out and asks the man, "What wish could i grant you today?" The man says, "I wish i could have 1 million dollars!!" The genie replies, "As you please." All of a sudden, a studded dog collar appears. Then another, and another. Soon there were 1 million dog collars in the bar. The man yells, "WHAT IS THIS?!?! I DIDNT WISH FOR 1 MILLION COLLARS!!!" His friend then replies, "I didn't wish for a giant clock either...."

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Alcatraz is reopened only for Kevin's ma

thumb_up thumb_down +26

hi michael

thumb_up thumb_down +4

THIS IS SPARTER!!! :3

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock Knock. Who's there? An Alzheimers's patient. An Alzheimers's patient who? To get to the other side!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Person 1: Do you want to hear a joke? Person 2: Sure! Person:1: That was the joke... You missed it!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because once it had inadvertently escaped the farm it was being kept on it was startled and with no concept of road and pavement happened to traverse a road, with no real motive.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

An alcoholic walks into a bar. He wakes up the next morning in a jail cell covered in blood. 3rd time this week.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

hi michael

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? Lick his dog's penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +70

There were two ducks in a bathtub. One duck says to the other, "Pass me the soap" The other duck replies, "What do i look like, a toaster?"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops