You wanna hear a joke about my penis Nevermind, it would be inappropriate of me to say such a thing.

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Gay jokes are a real pain in the butt.

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What did the runner say after he ran 10 miles? I just ran 10 miles.

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jim is constantly asking bob the same questions, bob brings this to attention and suggests that jim might have amnesia. jim agrees and they move on iwth the conversation. minutes later jim asks a simaler question brought to attention earlier because he has amnesia

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What did the young boy say to the adorable kitten? "Aww"

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Three Arabian men are on a plane, they stand up, and shout BOMB, BOMB, BOMB! All three have Tourettes.

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Laura Pratz... not having a strong urge to tweet everything that happens in her life.

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What's small, black and at the top of a burning building? Oh shit - I forgot my baby

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sit in the dark for about 4 or 5 hours covered in Vaseline with a huge dildo inside of your arse

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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why don't you make like a tree. and get out of here

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What do you get when you put a baby in a blender? A life sentence in prison.

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An asian man walks into a bar He buys a drink.

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What is brown and sticky?

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What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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q: Why does my grandpa climbs a phone pole with a bag of bananas? a: He likes to climb and he might get hungry.

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Two Irish men walks out of a bar

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Knock, knock! Who's there? Mary Mary who? Mary Smith.

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"Hello?" "Is your refrigerator running??" "Yes..." "Oh. Well then have a nice day."

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy. But I have Alzheimer's... Hey, I just met you...

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had to arms. Knock knock Who's there? Well clearly not Sally

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Click thumb up i will be eternally grateful

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Feminine hygiene jokes aren't funny. Period

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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