omg this doesn't work 1.hold breath for 5 minutes 2.die it doesn't work cause you would just knock yourself unconconsiuse and your body will start breathing for you again until you wake up

Steven hawkings shook my hand

What is small, green, lives 10 meters under the ground and eat rocks? The little green rock eater!

Why are AntiJokes so funny? Because your brain analyses them and makes you laugh.

This is an anti-joke. It is not funny because "anti" means the opposite of something.

A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

Several men are in a bar a tall white man named James orders a round of shots for all of the people they all have a fun time untill James gets into a car with Derrick who is not sober they drive right into a sick childrens hospital and cause many frantic wild fires throughout the town. They all end up in jail for an unrelated cause

How do you get all the apples off of an apple tree? You pick them

you just contradicted yourself.

How did the chicken cross the road? Suicide. There was a graveyard across the street. RIP Mr. Chicken.

How can you tell the person who stole your car was black? Stereotyping is wrong.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, well at least they were, until I met you!

Wanna hear a dirty joke? ... A boy played in mud.

What is the difference between the number 20 and 21 1

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

Sac

Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

How to you kill a pizza guy? Shoot him in the face.

How do you kill a black guy With a gun

How did Matt stop the robbers? He called the police.

What do you call a depressed nerd who plays WoW. Me....

Why didn't the lolipop taste like anything to the boy beacuse he was aborted

I don't always browse the internet. But when i do i prefer Anti Joke.con

I love you, you love me. Barney is fat and not entertaining.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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