What did Timmy want for Christmas? Parents.

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Why did the old man go to the retirement home? The 75 year old man had a 45 year career in pluming and he thought it was a good time to retire after saving enough money to be happy and he could spend the rest of his life with his wife. The retirement home was also not that far away from his grandchildren so he liked the location and the home was also very clean and the workers seemed very nice. But this was just a visit to see if he liked it, he may live there soon.

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What's the difference between a North Korean and a South Korean? Nothing, they're both chinese.

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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A very rich man had a daughter whom all of the men in town wanted to marry her for wealth. Except there was one man who wanted to marry her due to his love for her. The father let his daughter marry whomever she wanted from all of the men in town, and she chose a man named Wilson Fremblington who wanted to marry her for wealth, because he was physically fit and overall a friendly man.

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What did dyslexic Old McDonald say? . . . I have a learning disability that impairs my fluency and comprehension accuracy in being able to read and spell

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Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

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a man was walking out side to get the news paper what happened next he picked up the newspaper

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Knock Knock! Who is there? I am the milkman and I have your milk.

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This message is boring. There is no joke. There is no punchline. You can stop reading now.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way. ernkso

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Why did the man shoot himself? Because he already shot his wife.

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Q: What did the pony say when it had a sore throat? A: "I have throat cancer and only have six weeks to live."

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knock knock who's there i am dead i am dead who i am just dead u idiot!!!!!

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An old lady walks into a bar. She was the janitor.

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why is blake oneal gay? because hes black and he likes peniss in his ass

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Why did Princess Diana die? Because she deserved it!

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what do you call a dog with no legs? doesnt matter what you call him, he aint coming!

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What do you call an Interlochen Arts Academy Student with no talent? A comparative artist

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How did the mexican get into the United States of America? Legally.

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Q: What's not funny and has three wheels? A: The Holocaust, I lied about the wheels and about not being funny.

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whats better than shoes feet

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What did the gay guy say to the other gay guy Want to make out?

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A blind man walks into a bar. He had a few drinks then went home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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