My mother always said that jumping in piles of leaves was fun. That was before she died of pancreatic cancer.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she was deaf and blind and would have been a hazard to herself and others.

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Why did the man name his boy "Sue?" He had bad eyesight and thought it was a girl.

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What do you call a dumb friend? Sam.

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What is green and red and is going super fast? A frog in a blender.

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Two Jews walk into a bar, and they were both served properly

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Q: What did the teen mom put her newborn daughter up for? A: Adoption

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Roses are red, violets are blue, why am i even talking to you?

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How do you make a hobo cry? You steal his trash.

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How do you get 2000 people to go to heaven? Blow up a school.

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There are too many 20 year olds getting pregnant. Teenage pregnancy is ruining our society!

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Knock knock Who's there? Knock knock Knock knock who? Knock knock

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The grandfather's grandson said, "They charged me $10 just for a cup of coffee!" The grandfather said, "They charged me with bayonets."

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A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To distract everyone from the Mexican.

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i'm funny

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If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? Quite obviously, still quizzical, being that tests are just longer, harder quizzes.

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Two penguins are sitting in a bathtub. That would never happen because penguins would not be anywhere near a bath-tub at any point in their lives, I would be more concerned wondering why a penguin is in the US and calling animal control than making up a joke about it.

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Q. How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? A. 17.

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What happens if a Muslim leaves their bag on a bus? They quickly return onto the bus and get it.

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Your mom is so fat she is larger then the average person.

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Why was the cat unable to drink its milk? He was stapled to the wall

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what comes in a can ? Beans Where do beans come from ? Cans

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Roses are grey. Violets are a different shade of grey. Let's go chase cars. -Dog

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops