What did Billy Mays eat for breakfast? nothing, he's dead.

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why was the boy sad his whole family just died in a plane crash

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because he was hungry and mcdonalds was across the street

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Life is like a box of chocolates! It sucks if you have diabetes

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What did the piece of macaroni say as they boy was about to eat him? Nothing. Foods are uneducated and illiterate therefore unable to speak, and went into the boy's mouth without a trouble.

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A man walks into a bar. Realizing that he left his keys in his car, he called a locksmith to unlock the doors. He did not have money to pay this locksmith and was put in prison for his large sums of debt. He was shanked by a fellow inmate and died a few days later in the prison's hospital ward.

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No, you think faster smarter and harder than everyone I know, you change and adapt faster for each day, sometimes I just think one has to stop asking oneself what makes one happy, and simply choose to be happy.

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a guy walked into a bar and said "ow!"

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Why bouriquet fall off the swing? Ask him.

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Woman's rights

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What did the ant say to the bush? Ernest Borgnine.

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Woman's Rights

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what do you say to the preacher when he walks into church? i dont fu***** know, im jewish.

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Why was the doctor unable to perform his surgery properly? Because he forgot his scalpel

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What did the bank clerk say to the robber when he demanded all the money in the drawer? "Okay."

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fun fact for the day: 100% of people that drink water die sooner or later

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what do you call Mackenzie Phillips? five head

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how do you get a black guy out of a tree? ask himnicely and if he doesn't promptly call the fire department

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Whats worse then Justin Bieber? It's a trick question, there's is nothing worse than her

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Why do horses read books? We are all doomed...

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Why did the man rob a bank? Because he was poor.

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3 blonds walk into a bar ouch

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes You should probably get yourself checked.

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What is a chinese person in your house? A human being

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops