i was raised in a bad family. i was the youngest and i was abused then i died three years back. then i died again and then i died again then i died again then again then i LIVED but then i died again then i died again then i died again then i died again

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are red violets are blue if you were number one I"ll pick number two, if you were number two then I'll pick POO!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Knock Knock. Whose there? Fed-Ex, here's your new brother.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a piece of celery with peanut butter on it? your moms dead

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Covert trance, black Ops, and something I kinda made up myself. The first two are basically using suggestions without the victim being aware of it, that is how that famous bank robber that just asks nicely for all the cash and gets it succeeds. The other is tricking the "allmighty" subconcious and again, my own invention people claim its called "this and that", I know, because I coined most of the terms. Anyway, you put people into a deep state of trance, you tell them to take a step forward into the sea, and well, you actually led them down the top of a skyscraper or something fun... "Now... Suck on the lollipop I have between my, okay ill stop"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

haha, you're an orphan

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why can't helen keller skii? Because she's dead

thumb_up thumb_down -21

whats the one about not giving a crap? oh yea this one

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Roses are blue Violets are red It's fascinating what genetic engineering can do

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: why did everyone on the ship drown? A: Because the ship sunk

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why couldn't the horse open the door? - Because it was locked...Beeeeeeeeeeeeeef Jelly

thumb_up thumb_down -3

If you watch a pregnancy backwards, it is about a baby that is inserted between the legs of a woman and is slowly broken down for energy and the remains are finally sucked up by a man's genitals. There isn't a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

America were the American dream is something only foreigners believe in

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Knock Knock ! Who's there? Jim. Oh come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's blue and says "Good morning" A blue sign that says good morning

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A Stoner sees a bag of chips.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock knock "Who's there?" "Bark bark" "Bark Bark who?" "Bark bark bark bark bark bark."

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -166

roses arent always red, they can be pink or white. violets are violet, not blue. your pretty lets have sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man and a women are having sex. He farted so she left before he came.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Q: Why did the Asian boy pass the math test? A: By studying with dedication to the field.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

There was a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They all had different colors of hair.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Hey I just meet you. And this is crazy, but im a Zombie. And you looks tasty!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops