Why did the young man visit the optometrist? Because when he went to put in his contacts earlier that morning, he dropped one on the carpet and couldn't find it and it was his last pair so he needed to go order new ones but it had been over a year since he had been to the optometrist so they make you come get your eyes checked before you make a new order to decide whether the lens strength should remain the same or be increased/decreased.

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Q. Why do cheetahs run so fast? A. Because their bodies allow them to.

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whats round red and taste like candy? such a thing doesn't exist

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why couldnt james zatts swim? he was half black

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I pulled a disabled girl in the pub last night. The handle on her wheelchair was caught in my jacket.

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every 60 seconds in africa a minute passes

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Knock Knock Who's there? a tree

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"And i look to myself what the hell happened to our world..."

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roses are read violets are blue my fanny is orange I have the flu my name is gemma

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Why did the bird fall? It was an ostrich

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Q:a black man walks down the street with alot of light whats happaning he A:is it the parade of light

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Whats 10-5(45+76)? please help my homework is due next class and i am currently to busy worrying about my dad's cancer to think about this problem.

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Q: what did the grandmother give to her grandson. A: a lightbulb

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Who can jump higher than a mountain? Everyone, mountains are incapapable of jumping.

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Who went shopping on Saturday? There is a reason I put a question mark there, so you guys could reply. Not so I could respond myself.

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what is the only death better than asama bin ladin JUSTIN BIEBER'S

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Jews

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How do you make a blonde fall off of a cliff? You push her off of the cliff.

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abcdHIV this disease is killing me

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there was a pre school teacher and he told the children to draw a squirell. One boy breaks into tears because his entire family was slaughtered by a pack of squirrels. This upset the teacher

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What did the girl with two broken legs give her parents for Christmas? Medical bills.

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What did batman say to robin before they got into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

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How do you stop a black person from drowning? You toss him a flotation device.

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Helen got hit by a bus. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Helen!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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