Michael J. Fox asked me if I wanted my drink shaken or stirred, did I really have a choice?

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Why did the girl ask for anal? She didn't. She was raped.

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What's the difference between Cindy Crawford and a Snickers bar? Nothing. One is a mediocre actress, the other is a peanut based bar of chocolate confectionary.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? jhdfsuigtreyuiertfguiryhg

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What's funnier than 24? 9/11

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what is worse then breaking on arm breaking two arms what is worse then breaking two arms the holocaust what is then the holocaust Obama care.

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What did the stuffed animal say to the human after the human said hi? Nothing, after all stuffed animals can't talk

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what is the difference beyween football and baseball the superbowl and world series

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T u r n i p s

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Two stoners walk into a bar. They didn't drive there because they were high and wanted to enjoy a cool, evening stroll.

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Q: Why did the bear fall out of the tree? A: Because humans tranquilized him, brought him to an animal shelter 100 miles away from his home. Then after he got out he got hit by a car and died. PETA is watching.....always

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Have you seen the blind man's new house? No. Neither has he.

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What does rainbow stand for? Rick Astley Is Nesting By Our Window to harass us

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Why did the black man run? There was a mass murderer chasing him with a chainsaw.

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What rhymes with float,boat,moat,coat and goat but can not be on a boat, can not float, can not be in a moat, can not be on a coat and can not ride a goat? A zoat because it's not a real word and therefore is incapable of doing any of those things.

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what did one bean say to the other bean??? hows it been.

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What's worse than getting a divorce? Nuclear warfare

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What is the difference between a black man and a sofa? A black man is a human being with feelings, while a sofa is an inanimate object that people sit on in order to enjoy comfort and possibly watch television.

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What is the hardest part of a vegtable? The wheel chair 0.o

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A man walks into a store with a faulty washing machine. He provides a valid guarantee receipt at the customer service desk and it is replaced without an issue

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Why was the horse sad? Because it seen a Tesco van in the distance.

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A black man, a Mexican man, and an Asian man all walked into a bar. They proceeded to have a good time together as they were celebrating their graduation from medical school.

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A dog got into a gingerbread house. She ate some and brought some to the basement it got on the couch!

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So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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