What building has the most stories? The Burj Khalifa.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long face?". The horse replies "My wife is dying of terminal cancer."

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What do you call a blonde person? By her name.

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why did the boy fly away because his mum shot him out of a cannon

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Person1: wanna hear a joke? Person2: yeah Person1: ok

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What happens when two jews meet in the bus ? I don't know, but I'm pretty sure it's not worth telling a joke about that.

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A Jewish man gets on a train. He sits down and a hour and a half later he is dropped of at his proper destination.

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What does a pelican and a taxman have in common? Both are bipedal, both are carbon-based lifeforms that procreate by DNA replication, both in all probablility eat fish, both have survival instinct, both require fresh water for hydration, both have five senses; vision, hearing, touch, taste and smell, both are capable of at least limited cognition, and both can turn aggressive when provoked.

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What do you call something with no legs or arms swimming in the lake? A fish.

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What did the little boy want to be when he grew up? Dead.

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin boys? Thomas and David after his father and grandfather.

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What is worse than reading an anti-joke relatively similar to the other? Walking in your front yard and realizing a zombie is eating your dead grandmother.

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Roses are red Violets are blue These two lines are overused I wonder to what poem they originally come from

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Be careful not to say Betelgeuse 3 times, because if you say Betelgeuse 3 times, then Betellllwoow that was close.

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there once was a time before bonerss it sucked it sucked real bad like that kid who never washes his gym closes bad Mason Manning JLR

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This is an anti joke

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms or legs. Knock Knock? Who's There? Not Suzy. What did Suzy want for Christmas? Parents who loved her. What did Suzy get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Mary had a little lamb, The nurse and midwife fainted. Because last year she met a ram, And they got too acquainted.

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What is the diffrence between a jew and a mexican One is a religous practice and the other is a racial diversity

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Why did the black man fall asleep in the unemployment line? Because he was dangerously fatigued from staying up all night weeping passionately into the arms of his wife after losing his high-earning job of twenty years after the CEO of the company declared bankruptcy and finding out that his only daughter was in the hospital in critical condition after her school bus flipped off a bridge.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Daises are yellow Azeleas are pinkish purple

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Person 1: Do you want to hear a joke? Person 2: Sure! Person:1: That was the joke... You missed it!!!!!

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Why don't blind people skydive? They do.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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