Did you hear about that one time (@ band camp lol) where there was a little boy and he wanted to go swimming sooooo abd and then ooo look squirrel

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roses are red violets are blue I lost my dog to typhoid it was an unfortunate case of bed luck

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No smoking No eating No drinking On this bus Didn't say anything about sniffing

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Whats The difference between a soccer mom and a pit bull? One's a dog ones a human. 363\

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woman's rights

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog.

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Why did the mexican cross the road? His drugs were on the other side.

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What do you call a black man with big cuts on his arms? You call an ambulance to help him!

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What if someone sold your socks to a Jew? I would blackflip through the air and shit on his chest.

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A girl asks a guy are you finish. The guy says no I'm British.

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(A man goes to visit his neighbor) Knock! Knock! ...................... ................... ................ ............ he walks back home

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[Insert anti-joke here]

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What happens when Chuck Norris and Mr. T get into a car accident? They trade insurance information.

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Ask me Whats 2+2. ? Ok what's 2 plus 2 4 you dumb ass

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I know you are but what am I? A queer.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Chris:"knock, knock" Rhianna:"owwww..." Chris:"open da door" Rhianna:"so u can punch me in the face" Chris:"duhhh, I jus got brass knuckles"

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An invisible man sleeping in your bed! Who ya gunna call? Most likely the local police department to report the strange incident possibly brought on by lack of sleep. NOT Bill Murray.

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What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

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on a planet, in a galaxy, far far away... you have cancer

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What do chicken babies have in common? They both taste like chicken.

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Q:Why did the man fall down the stairs? A:Because someone pushed him down.

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Why did the squirrel fall out the tree? It was dead Why did the second squirrel fall out the tree? It was stapled to the first squirrel Why did the the third squirrel fall out the tree? Peer pressure Why did the fourth squirrel fall out the tree? It thought it was a game Why did the tree fall over? It thought it was a squirrel Why did the postman die? He got hit in the head by four squirrels and a tree

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What do you call a magic owl? HOODINI only some will get it...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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