Why did John fall down the stairs? Because John is a paraplegic and there wasn't a sufficient wheelchair ramp at his access.

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Rylan Clark

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even a blind squirrel finds a nut every now and then. but has a high probability of getting hit by a car and slowly dying from crushed limbs

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My cake is yummy, It's icing is blue. It will always be mine, Come close and I'll punch you. So stay away from it And you will be safe, But if you dont listen, Prepare ice for your face!

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What did the anti-social man say to a girl Nothing

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What did Einstein say to the blonde? 'What specific part of the theory don't you understand?'

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Im a Tree... BARK BARK!!!

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What happened to the asian when he took viagra? He got an erection.

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What's 1+1? Window! Just kidding it's 2.

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Abortion

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John has 32 candy bars, he eats 28..what does he have now? Diabetes.

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A sign at the drug rehab centre said keep off the grass. Jimmy thought it was a joke. So the groundskeeper chopped his legs off.

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fart

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Does it not sound kinda fun to keep slapping someone that always turns the other cheek?

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A visibly exhausted and distressed man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink. "Long day?" the bartender asks. "No, all days are 24 hours long" the man replies, amazed at how uneducated the bartender is.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? It doesn't matter what you call him. He won't come.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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Q: How many Jew does it take to change a light bulb? A: A lightbulb cannot be changed, it either is or isn't. Do you mean replace a burned-out bulb with a new one? With design, logistics, manufacturing, marketing of just that single bulb- there are many people involved. It could be argued that we all play some small part in the process.

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Como estan lo que sienta in el tarea de tomo caliente? A. Los sientos! ~ this is why nobody likes Spanish

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Someone offers your friend one of two things he say's "choose witch one you want" your friends asks you and you say "if i were you, i'd be ugly"

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What did one German man say to the other? Wo ist das Badezimmer?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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