Hey I just met you and this is crazy, but i have Alzheimer's. Hey i just met you.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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There once was a man from Peru Whose limericks stopped at line two (I sense the public demanding an encore) There once was a man from Verdun There's also a limerick about Emperor Nero, but I can't tell it to you.

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There was a girl who had a dream of becoming a famous movie star. So, after five years of hard work and dedication, she didn't become a famous movie star. Dreams don't always come true. Refrigerators keep things cold.

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he was on his wheelchair.

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your momma is so old, she has heart problems

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Whats worse then Justin Bieber? It's a trick question, there's is nothing worse than her

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A man was walking down the sidewalk. Then he turned into a drugstore.

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How many lesbians did Tiger Woods bang? None, his standards are much higher than that

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Why couldn't Jim pogo-stick? He didn't have one.

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Q: Why did the child fall? A: Because I shot him in the leg.

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What did little boy with no arms and no legs get for chrismas: a bike

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What drops its lunch every day? Yo mom

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause your mom has cancer

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So a man walks into a bar and says to the bartender I'll have a beer

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Kumquats, daffodils, and potato salad.

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Why did ben 10's omnitrix or watch break? Because he kept slapping it.

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how much did the asian man pay for his operation? nothing. he's dead.

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Write Your Own Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side Enter the following: Which is bigger the moon or the elephant? Your Answer: The elephant [] I have read and agree to the Terms of Service ((((Submit)))) [1 error prohibited this post from being saved] ---There were problems with the following field -> Wrong answer

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What do you call a school bus full of black people? A school bus

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KASEEM IS CRAP AT GEARS OF WAR THIS IS NOT A JOKE ITS TRUE (FACT) PLAYSTATION IS BETTER THEN XBOX (BIGGEST JOKE EVER) IV HAD BOTH, SO SHUT UP PS3 BOYS AKA GIRLS

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what's worse than getting hit by a car? getting hit by a truck

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Why was the baby crying? It wasn't it got hit by a bus and died.

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What do you call a snake at a snail convention? A snake at a snail convention.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops