Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

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Roses are Red, Vilots are blue Im going to kill myself Bye

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I went to the principle's office because I had a hard time reading They tried to tell me I was lesdistic

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Why couldn't the farmer drive his tractor He had no arms why didn't he have arms Because he was a potato

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You grand mothers so old she going to die soon.

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Friends are like bananas. If you peel your skin and eat them, they die.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his mother at the hospital who is dying of cancer.

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Q:What are black people so good at basketball? A: Because they are black!

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What's brown and sticky? A stick

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Q: What's the similarity between puzzles and women? A: Prior to the 1920's neither had the right to vote.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's the mailman delivering your weekly delivery

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I walked into town today and bumped into a butcher, a baker and a candlestick maker. It meant nothing to me because I was never read nursery rhymes as a child due to my parents both dying before I was conceived

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What do you call a Muslim on the moon? An astronaut

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Black people. They are so kind.

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Who has fair skin, blonde hair and is African? Stefan.

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I like my women how i like my coffee. Without a penis.

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in cirlcles? nail its hand to the floor

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why do elephants drink so much? to try to forget.

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What's nappy,brown,intoxicated,and stealing my bike? A Blazed, black guy that stole my bike.

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What did one dolphin say to the other after watching a banana dance with an afro. My pancreas was replaced with a mango.

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What? Yes.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. It is a coincidence that none of them have the same hair colour.

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Do you know what the zombie said? Raaargh Brains

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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