people can be soooo loud!!!!!!! sooo loud that they wake up helen keller!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down

what did the dog say to the cat? nothing cause animals dont talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

96

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Friends are like potatoes. When you eat them, they die.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

gdfhtrfcgsexdfchrthgdfggfhtdtfhdtyfgfdfcghfgdyghhyrtfgrdfdffdtgdfgfghrthfg Alzheimer's.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's worse then having your wife leaving you? Taking the kids with her.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

yo mama so fat she's fat

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What's the most common way to become mentally challenged? Getting hit by a shovel a couple times

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do Ethiopians celebrate Christmas? They don't there to worried about dying from Aids and starvation

thumb_up thumb_down +33

When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? He got many things, because everyone felt bad for him. Someone even brought him into their house so he could have Christmas dinner. On Christmas Day someone gave him fifty dollars to spend on food for his family. Only thing is, he didn't have a family.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

SteVen Hawking wals into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down -17

whats green white black red and can fly? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what do you call a mexican with a rubber blanket cold

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many cavemen does it take to change a lightbulb? A caveman wouldn't know what to do with a lightbulb.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

So what happened after 911?? What do you think?

thumb_up thumb_down +30

I like my coffee like my women, without a penis

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do a black man and a cop have in common? They are both not cabbages.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I pushed my friend off the bed after losing to him in FIFA 2011. He died.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Go in public and say this You-it smells like up sexy in here Person-what's up sexy? You-nothing much, how about yo

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man walks into a bar, he realizes he has no money and leaves

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops