- Anti Joke

Why did Ian die Because I shot him with a gun

u smell oh no of wat?? dunno i just know its BADDDDDDD !!!!!! k.c

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

Why did the black basketball team beat the white basketball team? They practiced more

Chuck Norris doesn't do push-ups. He prefers to bench press.

Jack and Jill went up the hill. It was in the middle of winter and they froze to death.

Why did the black guy get hit by a banana He was low on potassium and his friend threw the banana too hard

Your mother is so fat........... that she is morbidly obese and is at severe risk for diabetes and other weight related diseases.

Christopher Walken to a bar.

What is a man with no arms and no legs on a pile of leaves? A quadriplegic who enjoys the fall.

Two guys walk into a bar, they are both alchoholics and beat their wives.

The New York Giants

Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, FUCK, MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE!

There was 3 Men. Who had crashed their car on there way back from the Bar, All 3 of them died. Once they got to heaven, Jesus told him " The better in life you were with relationships,and staying true with one love- The better Transportation you get." Guy one got a Scooter. Guy two got a bike. And Guy 3 got a Mustang. One day, Guy 1 and 2 were on their bike and scooter. And they see Guy 3 upset. "Whats wrong? You got the best transporation in heaven!!" Guy 3 looks up at guy 1 and 2, Then says " I know I do..... But, I just seen my wife on a Skateboard."

Why did my son fall off of his bicycle? Because I hit him with a steak.

A horse walks into a bar. The waiter asks: 'Why the long face?' The horse, not understanding English, takes a crap on the floor and walks out.

A spatial closet situates trolls beside the whistle.

Knock knock Who's there? Your brother My brother who? The dead guy over there.

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r jerks n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA gargle" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."runs JOKES KILL >:}

How many black guys does it take to change a light bulb? One.

That awkward moment when a joke doesn't end the way you think it would.

Whats helped us not be mad at Osama Binladen. His death.

who is mark

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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