LMFAO - "WE runnin' through these hoes like Drano?" Is that really what society has sunken to? Is this really what is accepted? Is this what we are jamming into children's moralities? Society is Screwed!

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A guy with a severe attention deficit walks into a bar and... oh, look, the sky is pretty... wait, what was I saying ?

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What did the Rabbit say to the horse? They are both completly differebt species and cannot communicate. Therefore, the rabbit said nothing.

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why was little jonny not playing in the baseball game? his legs were shattered in a terrible lawn mowing accident.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

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There's a plane with 5000 bricks in it, one falls out. How many bricks are on the plane now? 4999 How do you get an elephant in the fridge? U open the fridge,put the elephant in and close the fridge. How do you get a deer in the fridge? Open the fridge, take the elephant out and close the fridge. A lion is trowing a party and the whole animal kingdom shows up, what animal isn't there? The deer cause he's still in the fridge. A little old lady is walking threw an alligator and snake invested swamp. *The snakes and alligators eat her (wrong answer) The brick falls on her head

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What's the difference between getting hit by a car and being struck by lightning? Impossible to tell, they are 2 entirely different circumstances with limited certainties.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You touch yourself. I do, too.

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Whats the same about a jew and firewood? They both burn.

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What do u call a muslim A infection to America

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Why did John fall down the stairs? Because John is a paraplegic and there wasn't a sufficient wheelchair ramp at his access.

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Whats worse than getting hit in the face with an axe? Getting hit in the face with two axes.

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I have a friend named David. He then lost his ID, now we called him Dav

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If your yacht is if moving at 50 knots per hour in a wind tunnel how many leprechauns can you fit in a chamber? Even, because purple is attracted to bestiality.

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Yo momma's so fat that her weight is completely disproportional to the average weight of someone her age.

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What's worse then getting socks on Christmas? Being murdered by a bear.

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What's black and blue and red all over? Due to the infinite nature of the universe many items both natural and manufactured could be described in this manner.

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Why did the man's pants fall down? He was not wearing a belt and had recently lost some weight.

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Confucius says... He with whom neither slander that gradually soaks into the mind, nor statements that startle like a wound in the flesh, are successful may be called intelligent indeed.

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a guy walks into a bar the barman says "what'll it be?"

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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Q: What's worse then 10 babies nailed to a tree? A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees

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Why is a charlie horse called a charlie horse? Well there was this boy charlie and he had a horse and it died in a fire.

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What's it called when an abusive alcoholic father iguana has trouble connecting with his wayward teenage drug addict son iguana, while at the same time the mother iguana doesn't come home till late hours and constantly calls her daughter iguana a slut? Reptile Dysfunction.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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