Oxygen and magnesium are going out OMG Think science the you might get it If not O oxygen mg magnesium

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What has a pie and my hand got in common? It's got meringue on it.

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Life is like a box of chocolates. Sometimes you get the shitty coconut ones.

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Why was the hasidic so stupid? He wasn't. He died in the holocaust.

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whats sad about 3 black people driving a Cadillac over a cliff? that was my Cadillac

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a chicken An animal cruelty charge

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What do you get when you cross an orangatang with a grizzly bear? Nothing, they just walk past each other unless the bear eats the shit out of the monkey then feeds it to her cubs

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Who paved the road? The fat guy with the steam roller

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A: Don't hit those black people!!!!! B: Those are trash cans.

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Why was the girl stupid? Because she had a low IQ

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, and it's destroying he's family

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Jerry Sandusky and two other men are on a cruise ship, when it suddenly starts to sink. The first man says, "save the children!" The second man says, "screw the children!" Jerry Sandusky drowned.

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how did the turtle die? it drowned itself

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Funny joke to play on an elderly woman: Take her cane and push her In front of a bus.

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What is the deferince between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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why did the mother beat the young boy? Because he was adopted

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Steven. Steven who? Steven your neighbor, may I please come in?

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There once was a man from Peru Who fell asleep in a canoe He got a slight case of sunburn which improved later after applying some ointment.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

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Why didn't Jim go to the party? He wasn''t invited.

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Why is the fat kid laying on the ground crying? Because I hit him with a shovel

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what did the paraplegic get for his birthday? a bike...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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