A man walked into a bar. "Ouch"

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What do 69 and 420 have in common? That was my score on my Math final:(

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What's the difference between a plum and bunny? They're both purple, except the bunny.

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What did the man say when he saw a alien? "Look its a Alien"

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Bend over Touch your toes I'll show you where The monster goes

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I remember my grandfather's last words he said to me before he kicked the bucket...."Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

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A mountain goat walks into a bar, the bar mans asks ''so, what will it be?''. The other customers question the mental integrity of the bar man, as goats cannot talk.

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I am very humble.

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I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump! Win a few Lose a few I'm Donald Trump!

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? Getting tortured to death. Whats worse than being tortured to death? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, and getting tortured to death. Whats worse than that? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, getting tortured to death, and finding a worm in your apple.

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I STUCK MY TESTICLE IN A BLENDER!!!

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What did the home-less man eat for dinner last night? Nothing.

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Why did the kid fall off the bike? Because he was paraplegic.

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Friend's are like pinguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

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Bigfoot, the loch ness monster, and self-respecting Justin Beiber fans are all the same, your told they exist, it's not true.

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What did the deaf man say to the blind man? Probably "Look out for that car," but since he has been deaf since the age of 7, his verbal skills are tenuous at best.

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Have you ever seen what Stevie Wonder looks like without his sunglasses? Neither have I.

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What's worse than a bad anti-joke? A bad anti-joke about Skyrim What's worse than a bad anti-joke about Skyrim? The Holocaust

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What is purple, covered in pus, and squeals? A purple hippo with an infected scab yelling at the pain

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A duck walks into a bar. The large African American male at table three punches the smaller Asian man at the bar because of a long standing and unfulfilled monetary debt. The Asian man procedes to pull out a concealed knife and repeatedly stab his assailant until he is dead. The duck orders several rounds of whiskey due to the fact that it has recently been fired from its job. Later that night, it took its own life.

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing? Because Suzie was a cucumber.

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Hickory Dickory Dock mother is a whore

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Why couldn't Jimmy ride his bike? His family had to sell it in order to put food on the table

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why was the witch in the broom factory? she was recently employed there and is loving her job maing brooms

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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