How do you get your dog to stop barking? You snap its neck.

Man 1: Ask me if im a flower Man 2: "are you a flower?" Man 1: if i was a flower do you think i could talk? man 1 was wondering why man 2 was so uneducated

A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

How do you stop an asshole from being an asshole toward you? Shoot him in the head.

"Free to play" Play free "right now"

Women's rights

Q:Why did Jimmy eat an apple? A:He was hungry.

knock knock whos there ? Jordan Jordan who ? Jordan Walters

Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because he didn't have arms.

What do you call a black woman in a pool? Drowning.

Q:a black man walks down the street with alot of light whats happaning he A:is it the parade of light

Why did the chicken cross the road? Since chickens cannot speak, it is difficult to say.

get in the car.

Why cant helen keller drive Because shes a woman

What did the small baby faucet say to the daddy faucet? Nothing, they are inanimate objects and cannot talk.

A priest, a rabbi, and an atheist walk into a bar. They sit down and have a calm discussion about the differences in their beliefs.

Why dose my mom have a penis? She is a man

Priority parking for hybrid cars

What is Santa's favorite color? Blue

batman farted so hes retarded

Why did the boy fall off his bike? He was mauled by a bear!

why did the chicken cross the road? why do you care?

A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

why did the dog chase it's tail? it has a case of OCD where he was obsessed with catching his tail and would spin until he passed out or threw up.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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