What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

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A jew goes to a bar,then wakes up with presents under his candels.

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Q: What's green has four legs and would kill you if it fell off a roof and hit you? A: A pool table.

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The sentence below is an anti-joke.

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Why don't you throw a rock at a Mexican on a bike? Because depending on the size of the rock, you could seriously injure him.

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What did the little girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? Nothing, she was Jewish.

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What did the orange say to the lemon? We are both alike but a differnt color

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There are two muffins in a oven, the first muffin is chocolate chip and the second muffin is blueberry.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock? Whos there? Not Sally...

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A dinosaur is walking down the street. He is soon confronted by a human. The human says to the dinosaur, "Hey, your a dinosaur." Which the dinosaur replies with, "Yes, yes i am." The dinosaur then stands there for a few seconds wondering why he is in the same time period as the human. And as to why a dinosaur would talk.

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Why did Doctor Who visit Ancient Greece? Because has a time machine and has that ability

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What do you think 3 black men want when the come and knock on your car window? They just want directions.

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Why do showers have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers

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A really hot girl walks past 2 guys and the following conversation is produced... Guy1:damn! look at that ass! Guy2:yep I bet shit comes from that thing! When's the last time she had diarrhea?!

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The guy told a funny joke. Why wasn't the other guy laughing? Because he was having a heart attack

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An Irishman walked out of a bar

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How does Michael J. Fox like his Martini? With an Olive

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Two black guys are in a car. Who is driving? One of the black guys.

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Ask me if I'm an orange? Are you an orange? No.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the shed I'm gonna screw you

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Two rocks are in the playground. Nothing happens, because rocks are not sentient beings and are thus incapable of producing any sort of activity on their own.

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What's red ad spins in circles? A baby with it's head nailed to the ground.

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What do you call a man with no legs and no arms on your doorstep? Matt

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A: Knock, Knock B: Whos there? A: Noone, the door and the visitor are both existential figments of your imagination.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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