What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man in a gorilla suit with a banana.

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What is the difference between Barack Obama and Mitt Romney? One is President, the other is not.

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What happens when you put a cat in an oven? Don't, because it will die.

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Why did the boy drop his icecream cone? Because of the shock of seeing his dead family.

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Q: what do you call a person who's ass is dumb A: a dumbass

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Roses are Red Violets are plucked So are my nose-hairs Pretty disgusting

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Father: Son stop masterbating u might go blind Son: But Dad I'm over here

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what food wouldn't you take on holiday with you? any its all inclusive

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When life gives you lemons, refrigerate them so they don't go bad.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Being raped What's worse than being Raped. Being Raped 2 times by a Giant Scorpion.

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? One walks on the moon and the other f*cks little boys.

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okay.....

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Men don't cum twice easily. That's why Jesus hasn't been around for awhile.

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A duck walks into a bar, the bartender asks "What'd you want?" the duck responds "A miller lite please" promptly after that the bartender was tested for mental insanity because he thinks ducks can talk.

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, Ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

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What's worse than hitting your funny bone on a chair............... Hearing one person say "its friday" then realizing that you are now singing

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What's the difference between an apple and a fruit? None

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Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

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a boy put a blanket oveer his head one night... He was warm for the rest of the night

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Why did my phone crack? I dropped it.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says to the other muffin, "Sure is hot in here." The other muffin says, "AHHHH! A talking muffin."

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There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

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What did god say when a black person was born? Damn I burnt one

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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