What do you get when a person and a cat try to have a child of some sort? Nothing because there chromosomes don't match, and there for physically impossible.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot was a tomato!!

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"What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby" "One's fun to hit with a bat and the other One's a watermelon.

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A blond, a brunet, and a red head jumped off a bridge. Which one hit the ground first? In order to solve this problem you would first need to figure out witch of the three had more of a body mass. Then you would need to calculate the accretion in case one brought along a cow. However, in the end the outcome is always the same: 3 dead bodies on impact and 3 mourning families.

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Hey, guess what. What? ... Hello? Sorry, I don't talk to strangers.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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Why didnt your daughter come home? The door was locked

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What's the difference between chili and a urologist? One is hot and spicy and the other analyzes urine.

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Why were the black mans hands all sticky? He was helping orphans with arts and crafts

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Why did little timmy cry? He was nailed to a ceiling fan.

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i quit soccer because science happened and then i forgot how to screw in a lightbulb

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What is ET short for? Extra terrestrial

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knock knock whos there a boy a boy who ? oh, sorry he just got hit by a train.

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whats the boys name that has no legs no arms and no eyes? lucky

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A man is sleeping and is woken up. What does he say? Why did you wake me up

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What's long,black and wrapped in something yellow ?? A twix

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A priest, a pedophile and a rapist walk into a bar. He orders a drink.

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If i was given a penny every time i hear "It's not my fault". I will have the money equal to the nominal price multiplied by the count of times i heard that phrase.

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Your momma's so fat: She regrets not making the most of her youth whilst she was still attractive.

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Why did Helen Kellers dog run away? You would too if your name was Hjshdvcyehbretafvvba.

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Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11. 9/11 who? Oh my god, I thought you said you'd never forget.

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Why did the rose look so brown? Because it was dead

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause he felt like it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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