A man walked into a bar because he worked there.

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MOTHER OF GOD! Someone get this horse out of here!

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What is more annoying then finding a worm in your apple you

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For 10 cents a day you can feed an African...they eat pennies.

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What do you call a mexican riding a lawnmower? Promoted

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Stephen Hawking can walk

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roses are blue violets are red i messed up so f... this s..t

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Hey there, I like bananas! No you don't.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? cheese.

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A man from China is learning English and when confronted by a cop accidentally answers each question with one of the few words he knows, impugning himself in the process. The cop, not being a sociopath, realizes that the chuckling foreigner probably has no idea what he has just done and hands him a dictionary to help him cope with the drastic change.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gestapo.

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Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? Because they were part of his uniform.

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What did the guy say to the mushroom?

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Whats the difference between a black an white guy? They have different skin tones

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Knock knock. Who's there? Big Brother. Big Brother who? That's right. ALL are who, Akbar!

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anne hatthaway

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I work for a Jewish Carpenter. He pays me minimum wage.

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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Two elephants are in a bath tub. The first elephant says to the other elephant, "can you pass the soap?" The second elephant then replied, "No soap, radio."

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how did the girl with a hook-hand do her hair? She didn't

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Three left giraffe testicles fell out of the sky and into a woman's grocery bag. "Did you know that 16 people die from dolphin rape every year? said Adolf Hitler as he began eating a horse.

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What do you call a low-fat banana? A nothing...

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What do you call a limbless woman on a beach? Sandy

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Why was the boy crying in public with no clothes on? Because he had no clothes on in public.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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