Why did the car break down? Because breakfast was done.

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What do you call a guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

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Q: A man walked into a bar and said, "Ouch!" Why? A: The man walked into a METAL bar.

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What do you call a man who is walking into walls and poles? A blind man who really needs your help.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. 'Who's there.' The chicken.

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Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

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What did the kid with no arms get for his birthday? A sock puppet.

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How do you perform CPR on a black person. OK, first come down. I wish I could ask why you turned to Anit Jokes.com to ask this question, but this is serious. First, check for any air blockages using two fingers, then...

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police, you murdered ten people.

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How do you get a ninja to do a backflip? Ask him nicely.

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A man walks into the kitchen tells the woman to make him a sandwich and walks out.

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Why did the man jump off the bridge. Because he found his beloved wife cheating on him with his life-long friend that he meet when they both where in pre-school.

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why did the cow cross the road because pigs were not flying i had to write it hurts

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Hey, I want to because you are really sweet and deserve it, and damn you are hot, but thats secondary in your case, in every case actually, otherwise I would just be doing it with meat whose soul and thoughts I hate/dislike/detest/etc, and that is not who I am. Once huh? I mean I said night/day/shower/breakfast table... Not so sure I can last for that long with a girl as hot and sweet as you for that long. Kidding, hey, best friend huh? Wow, I mean that`s really sweet, and you are really a special friend to me, but uh, to be honest, best friend? I barely know you... I hate this part of myself, I am blunt with that honesty thing, I may just have insulted you, but you know, I also need to be able to live with myself If I am going to enjoy life.

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If i was given a penny every time i hear "It's not my fault". I will have the money equal to the nominal price multiplied by the count of times i heard that phrase.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No one knows because it never told anyone. Chickens can't talk.

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I sas Ratzinger a sandwich when someone came up to me and said "sharing is caring" So I gave him a grenade He asked "where's the pin" I said " I pulled it for you" This is not an anti joke

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What's worse than stepping on chewing gum A clown throwing bricks at orphans

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How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just beat the night since its black

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What is the best way to kill Kony? Shoot him in the head.

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A white guy, a mexican, and a black guy are in a race. Who always wins? Whichever one crosses the finish line first

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-Knock knock! -Who's there? -DEFAX.

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What do you call 10,000 lawyers jumping out of a plane? A world record sky diving group, and an improbably large aircraft.

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knock knock whos there? i dont know arent you supposed to get the door?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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