roses are red violets are microwaves i have amnesia what ma name iiizzz 'SHAWTAY

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Why did the little girlbnot wake up? Because her mother smothered her in her sleep.

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What's green and looks like a forest? A forest.

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Q - What do you call a bunch of white people on a bench? A - The nba - Cool Bean

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hey its jerry hey its dj want to see my goat noooo

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What do you do when you see Godzilla? You offer him ice cream.

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An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have a few drinks, then go to a club, where they amuse each other and those around them by completely slurring their words in their already very strong regional accents. Then they get a taxi back to the house of the Englishman as he lives nearest, and stay the night. The next morning, the Scotsman and the Irishmen walk home as they are still hungover and do not wish to risk driving.

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Q: What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench? A: A bus stop

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A man walks into a bar, but it was a gay bar, and the man was a homosexual so he stayed and had fun then later that night he went home to his girlfriend

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What do you call a prostitute with no arms and legs? Unfortunate, as they've probably have many misfortunes in life.

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Mitch

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Your mother is so old that she is dead.

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Why wasn't the child breastfed? Because it's mother died while in the process of giving birth and the father does not have the necessary mammary glands to produce human milk for the young child.

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A dog walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer The barman replies : Woof Woof

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Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by two giant black scorpions.

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whats brown and sticky? a four week dead uunborn african child...

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What do you call it when a plane crashes into a school? A terrible accident.

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How do you kill a vampire? Because vampires are figments of society's imagination and actuall living creatures, this task is impossible.

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Q. What do cows and grass have in common? A. They both moo, except for grass ????????????

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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Just admit it. one time in ur life u pretended that the floor was lava and the only way to survive was on the couch.

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eden stop

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How do you make a baby stop screaming? Pour acid down its throat.

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Yo mamas so tan she might get skin cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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