It's not gay until eyes meet or tips touch.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

"I see London; I see France..." "Wow. You must have exceptional eyesight."

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? The same number it would take people with any other hair color.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

how long is a chinese name. how long. yup.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Id like to apologize for the one below (near the end yeah at the very end yeah that near you fuck!) When I said I give candy to etc etc I did mean I do not give candy to... Well... Nothing male, and I do not apologize, thank you. Shortie: Me as a Sociopath vs Sociopath with faster gunplay: So A Sociopath moved into my neighborhood, he arrived at my place and said hey you? You the sociopa... "BOOM" Moral: Shoot first, listen later... And if you hear something keep shooting... Anyway that was not the Sociopath but I got him eventually.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did Suzy drop her ball? Because roughly 5 years ago she was part of a car crash violently tearing off both of her arms. Knock knock. Who's there. NOT SUZY!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side -Tag

thumb_up thumb_down +26

what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? rape

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A man walks in to a bar, Has a drink, and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

<=-):[ J1MMY | Dubstep Maniacs Crew 4 Life ]:(-=>

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's the difference between a hipster and a steaming pile of shit? Many things.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

My friends a Jehovahs Witness. He got all pissed at me because he tried to tell me a knock knock joke and I ignored him.......i totally stole this joke lol.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead...

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Whats worse than ten babies stapled to a tree? One baby stapled to ten trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats worse than getting hit in the face with an axe? Getting hit in the face with two axes.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

there were ten in the bed and the little one said roll over so they all rolled over and one fell out then got back up and punched the little one in the face saying good night

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do a software designer, a civil engineer, an airline pilot, and a long-distance swimmer's support team have in common? All of them use angles and trigonometric ratios to help solve problems.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What would Steve Jobs be doing if he were alive today? Dying.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What happend when they were 3 guys in the air? They were skydiving

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the 3 month old puppy get for Valentines day? Heart Worms. What'd he get for Christmas? Put down.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What has four legs, yet it can't walk? A dead horse.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops