Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Three soldiers, one Japanese, one American, and one Italian were stuck in a desert. How did they escape? A rescue squad of thirty trained troops came down in a helicopter and brought them each to their respective homes except the Italian who was actually a Mafia boss so they put him in prison.

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1 + 1 = 2 If it was equal to 11 the problem would be impossible

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Give me time to think of a joke hm..............hm.................hm....................hm....................mmm....................hm?..........................m m.....................mmmmm..............hm...................hm.....................hm......................... ah!i don't want to think of a joke

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I found a new way to be condescending... Thats when you talk down to people.

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what is the difference between the number 2 and the number 5 3

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Q: what is green and looks like grass. A: fake grass

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Tina: Mom, would you love me if I was straight Mom: Yes Tina: Would you love me if I was gay Mom: Yes Tina: Would you love me if I was Bi Mom: No Tina: Why not Mom: Because that's selfish!

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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Why'd the gay man get fired from the sperm bank? He was repeatedly late to work.

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Two muffins are in an oven. Although they both possess the extraordinary ability to speak, strangely each remains silent, apparently lost in their own thoughts. Thus nobody has any reason to think they are any different than any other muffins. Later after they've been baked and allowed to cool, they are sold to a woman who eats them along with a small salad. She enjoys their chewy, hearty texture, and lightly sweet taste. She is completely unaware of what amazing discovery has just been lost to science.

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chuck norris threw a grande and killed 50 people then the grande blew up

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sally.

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A Stick!

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A black man walks into a store and buys something.

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What did one bulbasaur say to one squirtle? Well, first off, pokemon are virtual animals created solely for the enjoyment of entertaining japanese children and causing seizure episodes. This fictional creation then migrated to an american tv market, still maintaining their superficial existence while continuing to promote slavery and the use of round balls that capture your problems and propagate winning through random ball throwing. They are fake, and as they are fake, the bulbasaur said "we are fake"

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Jokes are funny.

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What's the difference between a zebra and a newspaper? Everything.

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david what a baghead

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Heeeheeeerrrrrrrrrrr

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What do you call a man covered with cottoncandy and goes to the store and buys a jar of pickles? George

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did you hear about the mexican that went to college? yes

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3 guys and 2 women walk into a bar and sat down........... good to see both sex`s were welcome in the bar

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Q: What did the priest say to the small child. A: Rite?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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