why did your parents die? because I thought it was funny...

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesnt scream when you put it in the oven!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's worse than the holicost? The ninja turtles

thumb_up thumb_down +4

RECTUM? Damn near spelled "Wrecked Him" the wrong way!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: What do you get when you cross and owl with a bungie cord? A: My ass

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what's black, white, and red all over? a penguin stuck in a blending machine

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the little girl die so suddenly? The bullet got her right in the heart.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a blue baby at the bottom of a pool? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Man walks into a gun store, buys a gun. The same man goes home and lives happily till he dies of cancer. His son takes the gun shots himself, survives then later dies of cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

John Stamos.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why were trash man's hands dirty? He got shot in the leg and desperately tried to get the bullet out with his hands and got blood all over them and ass he was running to the hospital he tripped into shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A tree falls over on an old woman. Mysteriously, the woman lifts the tree up and walks away. A man is amazed by this, so he goes and asks the woman how she managed to lift the whole tree. She tells the man that he is an idiot an walks away. Later inspecting the tree, he realizes it is a small sapling weighing no less than 10 pounds

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket. What's blue and looks like a bucket? A red bucket in disguise.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How do you call a guy with a school bus on his head? Dead. It's highly unlikely that a man would be able to withstand the weight of a massive school bus on his head and survive.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How did the Jew survive the Holocaust? Trick question he didn't

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How did the plumber fix the leaky faucet? Trick question. The plumber is actually an iguana.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What happens when Lord Voldemort tries to kill Harry Potter? He is unsuccessful.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +2,701

why was the man gay? because he likes men.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the boy rip out all of his hair? He was insane.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Character one: What did the blond say to the horse? Character two: you spelled blonde wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

How did the mexican die while fixing a lightbulb? He fell off the ladder.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

co jo kurwa tocza?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A doctor, a farmer, and a blonde walk into a bar. The doctor orders red wine because he knows it's good for the heart. The farmer orders a Piña Colada because he likes fruit. The two men wait eagerly to what the blonde is about to order. The blonde opens her purse and says "Damn it, I can't find my credit card." Suddenly, a handsome young gentleman walks up to her says "Don't worry miss, I'll buy a drink for you. What are you having?" The blonde looks up and says "Don't worry? I just lost my credit card!" In a fit a of anger, the blonde storms out the bar and doesn't order anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops