Why do you put a baby in the blender but first? To see the facial expressions

So i was walking down the street and this guy was really excited. I said "what is so Exciting?" He said "i just saw Justin bieber kiss a girl."

A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

Why was the man named Thomas? Because that was his name

Pirate ships are used by pirates.

Q: What did the bulbasoar say to the charmander? A: bulbasoarrr

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

Your mom goes to college. Actually, she graduated a while back!

Why did the dinosaur jump off the cliff? Because he was mental

What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

"I have some pretty bad news for you, but to ease into it, I will try to work it into a conversation." -Alright Doctor, let's try that." "Hey, how are you feeling today?" -"I feel great!" "That's odd, because you have leukemia..."

Why couldnt Jimmy swing on the swing? because Jimmy's a fish

why was the panda sent to prison? he played a major roll in the bombing of 9-11

You're Mom is Dead She was killed by a Grammer Nazi for me misspelling Your

The Holocaust? What's worse than finding a worm in your apple.

di you hear about the man that got his whole left side cut off? no well he died

What's worse than leaving the maternity ward with the wrong child? Being a parent.

How does a spider write its diary entries every night? With a pen.

dumbledore says,"today we will learn new spells,any questions?" a student says,"are you serious?" dumbledore says,"no he is in jail for a crime he didn't commit,sort of like the a-team."

What's worse than getting a jigsaw puzzle for your birthday? Slavery

What's the time when black men take over? Poor past never.

What happened to Liam? He died because of an infected scrotum.

noodles

Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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