What did the husband tell his obese wife? I love you honey

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What's the best time to go to the dentist? When your tooth breaks or you need braces.

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Wanna go for a bike ride??

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A blonde girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on the counter. "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress." she says. "Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear. "I said 'I'LL BE BACK TOMORROW AFTERNOON TO PICK UP MY DRESS'," says the girl, this time louder.

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What did the toy cowboy say to the man? Nothing, toys can't talk.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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What's worse then getting followed by a creepy man in a van? Getting followed and raped by a creepy man in a van.

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A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut

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why did the lady fall on the ground? The cord for the parachute was cut by her husband

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Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. Where's my tractor?

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A donkey walks into a supermarket and asks the cashier "Where are the potatoes?" The cashier replies "aisle 3" The donkey goes to aisle 3 And there are no potatoes

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What did the boy with no parents get for Christmas from his Grampa? Nothing because his Grampa had alzheimer's disease -Flap

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knock knock! who is there? its knock! knock who??? knock knock... who is there.... i told you its knock... knock who??? knock knock... WHO IS THERE!! OMG I TOLD YOU ITS KNOCK! KNOCK WHO!! WHO IS KNOCK! KNOCK KNOCK OMG WTF! HOLY SHIT WHO IS THERE! ITS KNOCK WE HAVE KNOWN EACH OTHER OUR WHOLE LIVES! KNOCK WHO?? KNOCK KNOCK WHY DONT YOU REMEMBER ME! oh knock knock from next door! who is there???? jk.. knock...knock......omg put down the gun knock knock stop i love you knock its not worth it!! NO KNOC!!! GUNSHOT* KNOCK NOOOOO!!! I LOVED YOU SOMEONE CALL 911!! OMG KNOCK WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH KNOCK WHY!!!!

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how do you get all the people in ireland out of their homes? roll a potato down the road. how do you find the richest person in ireland? you find the one who got the patato

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If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? Quite obviously, still quizzical, being that tests are just longer, harder quizzes.

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Did you hear about the cannibal who ate the Olympic record sprinter? He's in prison for first-degree murder & crimes against humanity.

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what is the diference between a jew and a boy scout. a boy scout comes home from camp.

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What mother loved her son so much, she gave him a scar on his forehead for it? Lily Potter.

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sky's sty

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Whats worse than The Holocaust? TEN HOLOCAUSTS!!!!

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Black Person Eating Fried Chicken

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Yo mamma is so fat She has to wear big pants and is easily fatigued.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says why the long face? The horse does not reply because it is a horse. He then is confused of where he is and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a couple stools.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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