What's the difference between Santa and a Jew? Santa goes DOWN the chimney.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? ........Because he was severely scared when he witnessed a stray dog bleeding out

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Q) What is black, white, and red all over? A) A zebra that just became the kill of a hungry carnivore

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waiter! waiter! theres a fly in my soup! the waiter immediately retrieved a new soup and gave them a 50% discount for the misshap.

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Why did jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms or legs Knock knock Who's there? Not jimmy

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What is the greatest anti-joke ever told? I had it right here, but I lost it when I was being raped by a Triceratops.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why is a banana yellow? I don't know, ask a scientist, stupid

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Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by a giant elephant.

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Why did Tommy cry? His tear glands emptied out of his eyes

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What did the black guy, the Mexican guy, and the Chinese guy have for lunch? A sandwich

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Yanter, Look it up

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I'm so stupid that I'm posting on Anti Jokes!

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A bus full of retarded kids got broken on his way. One kid suggested to the bus driver that the problem could be with the brakes, as that kid's father was a mechanic.

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My grandfather slipped on a banana peel. I helped him up.

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So a Mexican a Jew and a Philippino walk across the street What Happened? the border patrol shot them

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what happens when you punt a baby in between 2 poles? you get 3 points

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What did the white guy said to the black guy, when he stepped on his foot? Excuse me.

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Why did the guy run out of the whorehouse? Because when she spread her legs it looked like she was pulling apart a grilled ham and cheese sandwich.

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What did the fat man buy at Mcdonalds? A unicorn

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One day an irishman walked into a bar. he started to show off his accent when a nicely dressed lady said to him, "are you from ireland?". "AYE" said the irshman. " what part of ireland are you from?" drunk, the irishman replied "uh downtown" then the woman said, " did you come here alone?" then he replied"no i didn't come here a'lone.....DONKEY!!!"

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Your mom is so fat her daily calorie intake is dangerously above the recommended 2000 per day.

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What did the heart surgeon say to the brain surgeon? We are both surgeons

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs wearing lead weights in a pool? Screwed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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