what did the dog say to the cat? give me back my dog food.

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long in the tooth!

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Why did Doris want to father children? Because she wanted to have a fry-up with the leftover baby oil

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What happened when the princess kissed the frog? She died, the frog was highly toxic.

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A woman walked into a bar. Many men laughed at this unthinkable notion because women belong in the kitchen.

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Ya know how when geese fly in a V-shape, one side is longer than the other? -Yes Do you know why that is? -No Because there's more geese on that side

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Why did the car stop? There was a fridge in the road

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A Jew, a Catholic, and an Aeithiest walk into a bar. The bartender look at them and says "Is this some kind of a joke?".

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What do you call a black person doing labor for other people? A good friend.

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How do you make Justin Bieber handsome? He already is!

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What do you get if you cross a sheep and a kangeroo??? ... A sheep cannot be crossed with a kangaroo because the genes from sheep cannot work with genes from a kangaroo to produce hybrid sheegaroos or kangareeps.

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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If a tree falls on a house and there's no one there to hear it....Why was there no woman in the kitchen?

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Mcfly: Doc! i have to tell you about the future! Doc: Ok.

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who wins a race a white guy or a black guy? depends who's faster

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a potato a chicken and a rooster ate a cat and you just wasted your time

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How did the dyslexic, purple horse commit suicide? It jumped off the Grand Canyon.

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Q:How do you make an accountant cry ? A: You kill his whole family

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A man walks into a bar. His alcoholism is destroying his family.

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Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings

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What did the southern uncle say to his nephew when he woke up? Good morning, son.

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What do you call a black man reading a book? An avid reader that happens to be black

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What did the pirate say when his parrot died? Nothing. They both died at the same time in a horrible shipwreck. There were no survivors.

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What's worse than waking up next to an ugly girl? Waking up, sealed in a coffin which is floating on a raft traversing through shark-infested waters. Oh, and the raft is on fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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