Your mom.

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How do you circumsize a redneck? Kick his sister in the jaw.

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What time does lunch usually begin on the other side of the world. Noon.

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How long does it take a person to steal a television? Many variables could determine said ability to successfully steal a television. Such variables depend on sub-variables such as weight of the television, whether the television is a store, an upper-class citizen's home, or in a "ghetto" apartment. A main variable could be the race of the thief in question. African Americans are scientifically more likely to steal a television faster compared to a Caucasian. Yet a downside to being an African American is the fact that they are more likely to be called in for questioning or arrested on the spot at their broken down home. Caucasians are less likely to be questioned and if caught will most likely obtain the proper amount of bribery money in which to pay off the police.

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Why couldn't the cat drink the milk? Because it had no face

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The only hand that can beat a royal flush is Chuck Norris's hand

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Why was the boy upset? His penis fell off and his mom was making him go to the library.

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Why cant Helen Keller drive a bus? Cuz she's dead!

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What did Sammy get for Christmas? Raped.

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Why? Why not?

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Check out our iPhone App!

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A dog walks into a bar, looks at the bartender, lifts its leg and pisses on a bar stool. What does the bartender do ? He chases the dog out the bar and gets a mop to mop up the piss.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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A Christian and an Atheist are in a bar, the christian says "if you don't believe in god you will go to hell." the atheist replies "if there was a benevolent supreme being, logic dictates that there would be proof of his existence other than a 2,000 year old book." they agree to set aside their petty differences and get on with their lives.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? ...Because he was buried in a churchyard.

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Everything makes me look good, Rape doesn't look good on anyone, and it hurts everyone involved

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How do you kill a fish? You bite off its head.

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There was a boy and..........his dad said to go to the store to get his daily thing.........he went to the store and bought it......he came home and said.....HERE ARE THE EGGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Boo." "I don't know anyone by that name. Please go away."

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There are 3 guys, a fat guy, a skinny guy, and sexy guy. They all work together and have lunch together. The fat guy opens his bag and eats a ham and turkey sandwich. The skinny guy opens his bag and eats a tuna sandwich. The sexy guy opens his bag and eats an egg sandwich. The fat guy finishes his meal. The skinny guy saves half for later. The sexy guy ate more than half of his food. A genie magically appears. The End

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? I don't fucking know.

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What was the homeless guy doing on the side of the rode? Begging for money.

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What do you tell a woman with no black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice but you're not an abusive partner.

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What's the difference between a table lamb? A fishing pole, automobiles are very useful

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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