"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Ben." Ben who?" "Ben Dover!" "Ben,it's been 7 years. I already moved on and have a new husband and family. Stop coming here or I'm calling the police."

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What do Elephants never forget? 9/11

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How many Weasleys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2

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Joker2? Who comes up with the names anyways? Sounds like a stupid version of the matrix... Anyways, I stutter because my nerves are killing me, I cant quit the painkillers cold turkey if I cant sleep without them, besides I am used to physical pain as tragic as that might sound... Its not when you get used to it. I need to know who this Neo-Nero was, for anyone that can tell me, he is not around here at these hours, and during the time he/she I was dead, did considerable damage to my and my orders reputation, I need a face to face talk to someone that would put aside my chosen successor and assume my role, and I wont let that happen again even if it means bruising up this Neo-me a bit.

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What did Bill go for his birthday? No where someone slashed his tires.

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What's worse than finding a pickle in a jar? Finding Snooki in a jar.

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Come over here boy and have a cigar, you're gonna go far. Congratulations on being the first human cannonball, please use the cigar to light the fuse. Happy landings.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Being cut in half by a human while you were trying to eat an apple

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obamas trench

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Hey, you know what'd be funny? A guy having a seizure saying, "Help I'm having a seizure!"

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There are two men named Dan. The first man says, "Hello, my name is Dan." The second man says, "Hello, my name is also Dan."

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What did the boy say after he got hit by a bus? Nothing. He's dead.

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How do you know when a bag of chips is stale? It is past the expiration date.

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a man walks into a bar some other people get up and greet him as they are his friends. he then has a great night with his friends. he goes home and goes to sleep. he wakes up with a man next to him

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If no means yes and yes means no, what is yes? Yes

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Gotta go Mark Gotta go Mark MARK MARKMARKMARK! Moving at the speed of mark I'm the quickest mark around Got ourselves a mark Start getting a new mark Without any mark On top of mark! Go- Go- Go- Don't mark Don't mark Just markmarkmarkmark! mark, he's on the run mark, he's number one mark, he's coming next so watch out for mark X! Gotta go mark, gotta go mark mark mark markmarkmark Go go go go go go go go go! marrrrrkkk X!!

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road A: It didn't do it for any good reason,chickens are mindless and do random things,like crossing the road

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Why didn't the blind girl go to the party? She wasn't invited!

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Why did little Sally drop her ice cream? She got ran over by the school bus

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why did Michael Jackson cross the road? He didnt he is dead.

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When does the ice cream get thrown at the yellow horse on thursday evening? Purple Monkey Rainbow

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why did the deer jump, because there was something in it's way

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square circles have souls but gingers do not CC

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A dancer walks into a barre

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops