in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

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Sorry Liz, his sodium levels are so bad that while he is drinking a lot, his body is not containing water, and while his pulse and breath is fine he is passing out from time to time, he is asking for stimulants Ritalin specifically, but I am not sure if his body could withstand that, I really don't mind to pry, but does he use Ritalin? I mean he chats a lot, but ADHD? I am just asking out of health concerns, not that I am a doctor, but I just worry... Flirty personality... More like a clown, he says he refuses to eat unless I breastfeed him XD. He is eating now though, solids work, never had a tougher patient, he will make it for sure.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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When someone throws a rock at you What do you say? A:Oww

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wanna here an anti joke scroll down

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Why did I put the baby into the blender feet first? So I could see its facial expression

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What did the lady say after she returned home from the grocery store? "Oh no! I forgot the milk!"

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the redsox

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what can you blow up and sleep with at night? An air mattress

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your best friend. No it's not, you stupid repo man...I'M NOT OPENING THE DOOR.

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varför skriver jag på svenska jag vet inte

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what did the lonely boy get for christmas? the absence of a familly

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Whats the difference between a black man and a picnic table? Alot of things

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why did the black man get lynched? Because he committed eight murders and six double homicides, and the judge wanted him dead...

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How do you stop a plane? Throw flying birds at it.

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What did Sally want for Christmas? Nothing, she is Jewish.

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Paddy and Murphy are walking down the street, Paddy says to Murphy, "Alright Murphy? How's the kids?" Murphy says to Paddy, "Not bad, thanks."

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PUDDING

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What did the lady find out when she went to the doctor. She had breast cancer.

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Knock knock Who's there Banana Bananas can't talk. Crap he's on to me

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"We have such clean water we drink and do a lot of other stuff with it" The American said. "What other stuff do you do with your clean water" The African Child said. "Well we take showers in and we go to bathroom with it" The American said. "So let me get this straight you even take a Shit in it to" The African Child said.

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Listen Supervisor, this is Agent Clarke of the GOV and the WHO, I suggest you respond ASAP, I suggest you put set me in touch with either Lady, or Axel Knight right away, this is a matter of your personal security.

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How do you divide 2574 by 23.5 WIth a calculator

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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