Your mother is so good in the kitchen that we all asked for a second helping.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Today I was reading anti jokes. At first I didn't get it, but then I figured it out and...ah crap, why am I writing this, it's just going to get thumbed down...

thumb_up thumb_down -429

What did the japonese man say? Nothing that we can understand.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

What do you get when you sunflower? Vegan turtles.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

your father died

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Woman: do u want to watch Snakes on a Plane? Man: sure, what is it about? Woman: It's about a horse on a boat

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A Christian, a Sunni Muslim, and a Shi'a Muslim walked into a government building. Turns out, they were Lebanese, so this was a normal occurrence. Thus, to draw any humor from it before first taking into account the weaknesses of your own government would be both unwise and unfair.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man walks into a pole.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why was the man afraid of the fish? He had ichthyophobia.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock Knock Who's there? Its the pizza man. Get your yellow no good keister off my property before I pump your guts full of lead. 1,2...10

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's weirder than an asian? His dinner

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What is the difference between the number 20 and 21 1

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How many Muslims does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the phone say to the telephone? I can't connect with you.

thumb_up thumb_down -157

Why did the man stop suddenly in the street? His unhealthy diet, alcoholism and smoking habit caused him to have a heart attack at the age of 56. He died because of it.

thumb_up thumb_down +371

What do you call a book of notes? A notebook.

thumb_up thumb_down

if japanese cars are called riceburners would german cars be called jewburners

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Did you hear the one about the streetlight? It only came on at night.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Chuck Norris died.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the boy get hit by a wrecking ball? Because he picked up an upside down penny.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why'd the bird in Ohio fall out of its nest? There was a squirrel that was eaten by a large eagle. The eagle then flew to Ohio and died. Then, a large dog grabbed the Eagles corpse and brought it to his owner. The owner then decided to have it for dinner. Inside the eagle, he found the squirrels bones. He put the bones in a catapult, and sent them flying. The bones hit a car and the car slipped off the road and into a river. Then, a whale put the car on its back and swam to the shore. At the shore, the whale got stranded and sadly died. Crabs surrounded the whale and ate it. One crab then ran away and up a tree. It found a stapler and a rubber dinosaur mask and gave it to a chipmunk. The chipmunk climbed up the tree, stapled nuts into the birds eyes and stapled the rubber dinosaur mask to its face, the bird got scared, and then all of the sudden the chipmunk stapled itself to the birds back. The birds family then came and shoved the two out of the tree because they hated chipmunks, and their son Timmy the bird was a disappointment. The bird and the chipmunk fell and died. That is why the bird fell.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what happened to the man who is standing in the rain? he got wet

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q:Why did the black man break into the KFC? A: Due to being recently fired from his job, he is not earning any income. The lack of money to support his family of 5 drove him to such a desperate state that he found breaking into restaurant the only way to provide for his loved ones.

thumb_up thumb_down +135

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops