Person 1: Knock Knock Person 1: Who's there Person 1: me me you who you me you who me you no me (say super dooper quickly)

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A Starfish walks into a bar. He sits down next to a man with a concussion. Q: What did the man say? A: Nothing because he was in a concussion and was no longer able to say words.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had legs and knew how to walk.

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what's black and white? everything. i'm a dog

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How do you make pie without the oven? I dont kow, go google it.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge.

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you know what hurts, a revolver bullet in your brain.

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Why do black people eat so much fried chicken? Because it's delicious!

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What's red and green and goes 100 mph? A fast car that's painted red and green...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken would greatly appreciate it if you stayed out of its personal life.

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Spot the mistake: a) x+2= 5 => x=3. b You.

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Person 1 What's good? Person 2 Your mom's love making

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Q: Why did the Mexican jump over the fence? A: He went to go retrieve the ball that was kicked in his neighbor's yard. Afterwords, he continued playing soccer with his friends.

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Why did the man with no legs go into the shoe store?

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a woman gets hit by a motorcycle whose fault was it?......... the man's, he shouldn't have driven the motorcycle in the kitchen

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Why did they monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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[Set up] [No punch line]

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How did the jew reply to the racist comment? Judaism is not a race, it's a religion.

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Why was the Mexican socially inept. Because he hadn't recieved a good education

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How does Justin Bieber remove a condom? he farts

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What did the Banana say to the human. Nothing, because bananas are not capable of talking

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What do you call a homosexual in a wheelchair? A cripple

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Q: How many Jewish people can fit in a four door sedan? A: 4, or possibly 5, depending on the sedan's optional seating, and depending on whether the gentleman are comfortable enough with each other to scoot closer to allow a 5th friend to join in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops