Knock Knock Whose there? Nobody Nobody who?

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two kids find a condom so they decide to show their mum the mum snatched it off them saying never to touch one of them again the kids went to their room "Mum sounded pretty angry about that thing "Lucky we didnt tell her about the yohgurt we drank out of it

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roses are red violets are blue the stems are green they smell good

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yo mother is so fat, the recursive function computing her mass causes a stack overflow.

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit it with an axe

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What's the difference between a catholic priest and acne? Acne waits until the boys hit puberty before coming on their face.

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What did Voldermort say to harry potter? i raped you mum last night!

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children of those parents which are childless, are often childless too...

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Why did the fat guy survive the plain crash He didn't he died like everyone else

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Why was the girl crying? She got kicked in the vagina

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Why didn't the little boy hear the ice cream truck? He was deaf.

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what is the difference between pizza and a Jew? pizza is a common Italian meal and a Jew is a member of a monotheistic religion

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Why did the black man die of leukemia? Overexposure to radioactive materials due to his career as a nuclear engineer.

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You're a fat chubby McChubchub fatty fatchub because your fat chubby McChubchubfattychub poop is on your fatty fat Mcphat face of fatchubness because you are the fatty lord of McChubby fat kings.

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I would write a racist joke, but racism is offensive

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What do you call a snail driving a boat? An accident waiting to happen.

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Two chemists walk into a bar. The first says, "I'd like some H2O" The second says "I'd like some H2O as well." Nobody dies.

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whats worse than getting a fail on your math test? Getting shot.

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A white guy and a black guy are standing in a room. Which one of them is a murderer? I don't know, there is not enough information given in the question. However, according to Bureau of Justice murder statistics over the last 30 years, the black guy is 7.6 times more likely to be a murderer than a white guy in the United States.

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four score and seven years ago. . sharks with frickn laser beams attached to their FRICKeN HEADs.

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Q.what is worse than finding a worm in your apple? A.finding two worms.

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A blond and his wife were in the hospital expecting their first child together. The wife gives birth to twins and the husband turns to her and says, "I can't believe we had twins. I'm so happy!"

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? one. he was an electrician

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What did the Scorpio say to the Aquarius? "How's Uranus? Ohhhhh!" The Aquarius replied: "I have maggots."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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