Knock knock. Stop making puns at my door!

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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whats worse than the holocaust? Nothing you should be worrying about the future not the past.

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My mom told me I was pretty, I know now that she is a liar.

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Q: Why does an elephant have flat feet? A: From jumping out of trees

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Roses are *yanks hair* Violets are *yanks hair* *sobs and yanks hair* I have tricolomania

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What do you cal it when a black person gets married to a white person inner racial marriage

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What did little John do when he was bored? He went on Anti-Joke

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There were two bagels sitting on a table in Denny's. One bagel turns to the other and says, "So how did that job interview go?" The other replies, "It went great, thanks".

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Windows are likes prostitutes. You can have two in the front and two in the back!

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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Where did Sally go in the bombing? Everywhere

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Knock Knock! Who's there? No one. No one who? Cares.

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Knock Knock Hold on Im pooping.

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What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing, animals can't talk.

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How can you get an asian kid to flunk a class? You can't.

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Why did Prius driver go to jail? Because he ran over someone and then fled the scene of the crime (at 11 mph)

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An american, canadian, and mexican are on a skyscraper. Canadian: (pulls off maple leaf) we have to many of these in our country (throws off building) Mexican: (pulls out burrito) we have to many of these in our country (throws off building) American: (looks at mexican) we have to many of these in our country (pushes mexican off building)

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Yo momma so ugly, except she's not. She's looking beautiful today.

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Jake was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!!" The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway. His wife looks down and sees a scale.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one. It should only take one person to demonstrate such a simple task, regardless of their hair color.

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Ben: do you want to hear a joke. jack: yh go on then, i bet its funny. Ben: Your future.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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