A man walks into a bar and the barman says "Why the long face?" And the man replies "I am severely deformed".

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Why did everyone want to hang out with the mushroom? They didn't. In fact the mushroom's social anxiety had developed to the stage that he had frequent contemplations of self-harm and is in serious need of extensive therapy.

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Why was the Amish man dead? Because he fell off of his fridge, while trying to screw in a light bulb.

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Women's rights

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lets go to the beach beach lets go get away story of josh browns life

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book 'em danno

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What's worse than reading? A lot, but there are too many things to name

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What has two legs, takes away your money, and causes depression? A Democrat.

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You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

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Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the rest of the kids during recess? Tiffany is a pencil.

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Why did the cow lay down? Because he was tired

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What's the correct way to eat spaghetti? Put it in your mouth.

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What do you call a chair in the middle of the road? A danger to drivers.

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whats small, black, and crispy? a baby in a drier

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how did the man with just a head hide the fact that he murdered someone? im not sure but this seems highly untrue as someone could not kill someone with just their head.

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What do you call a black man who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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Why did the boy throw the clock out of the window? Because it was broken.

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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Q: Why was the balloon scared of unicorns? A: Buses dont exist therefore the balloon was just insane.

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Why did Bill yell? Because he stepped on a nail.

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If I give you 5 dollars, and you give me 5 dollars, then we both still have 5 dollars, which when combined will equal 10 dollars. Meaning we could buy something that cost's 10 dollars or less. But we should probably also factor in tax, so we should only buys something that costs a little over 9 dollars.

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Did you hear about Osama Bin Laden? He's dead.

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whats brown and half eaten? yeah an easter egg that a parent has given to there son/daughter before dinner

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A grasshopper walks into a bar... Bartender: "hey we have a drink named after you!" Grasshopper: "What, Kevin?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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