What do you call a man bathing with a toaster Electrocuted

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are gray, Violets are gray, Everything is gray, I'm a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Now this is a story all about how, my life got flipped, turned upside down. Now I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there, and I'll tell you how I lost my job at the tire plant, and how, being out of work and unable to find a new job, I was unable to pay my mortgage. The bank repossessed my house, my wife left me and took custody of the kids, and I ended up having to sell all my remaining possessions and move to a new city in order to try and find employment.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What does Lady Gaga call Hitler? Nothing special because she doesn't refer to him in everyday's speech.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

A man walks into a bar Ouch!

thumb_up thumb_down -38

How do you kill a Mexican? Rupture its vital organs like any other organism ,but murder is wrong and should not be done under any circumstance

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A cat jumped out of a tree. It died.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What goes up a hill with four legs and comes down the hill with five? A creepy animal that grows legs when it goes down hills.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the black man buy 3 boxes of condoms? Because he practices safe sex and they were on sale.

thumb_up thumb_down +5,681

what did the hammer do on the test -he nailed it.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why can't Hellen Keller read, write, or do anything really? Because, shes a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree it can hurt you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q.) How do you make a whore blush? A.) Tell her she has pretty eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why were the 3 men wearing black suits? They just left their mothers funeral, she died of terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the chicken cro- Oh. He got run over.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Did you see the blind man get hit by a car? Neither did he.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are brown, Violets are brown, Who shit in my garden?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Whats so funny about the women bringing fast food home for her family? Nothing shes a single mother who does'nt have time to make food between her two jobs.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you do when you find a black man rolling around on the ground? Stop laughing and reload.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

whats funnier than a penguin playing a banjo? i don't know because I've never seen one and probably never will because it is a highly improbable event.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the chicken change the projector reel? To get to the other slide.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A duck, a goose, a turkey and a bald eagle were all flying together. All four of them were shot and killed by drunk hunters with machine guns. The hunters were promptly arrested by police authorities for shooting their national symbol. They were found guilty, and the other three birds were cooked for their last meals.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why don't they sell aspirin in the jungle? Because it is not financially viable to sell pharmaceuticals in a largely unpopulated area.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A man and his wife go out to dinner, after dinner they return home safely and the man kisses his wife good night. He then leaves his house, and goes to a bar with another women. He is a polygamast and it is socially acceptable in his town.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops