A fat man takes a crap, it looked like something a rhino would curl out.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What's worst than biting into an apple and finding a worm? The holoca- *the man hearing the joke then pulls out a desert eagle and shoots the man in the chest before finishing the joke then goes to jail for the rest of his life*

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 1

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What happened when the homosexual man came out of the closet? He was congratulated for winning the hide and seek contest.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Romney: I think you would raise our debt and make more Americans jobless. Obama: It's just cuz I'm black!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why was Ralph depressed? Because his family was experiencing financial troubles, and needed money. He tried applying for many jobs, but they just didn’t quite work out. After ending up in the drug business to support his family, a deal went bad and he was shot, landing him in the hospital. The night his family arrived to check on him, the same shooter made his way to his room, and murdered his wife and 3 children, and somehow managed to evade police. Months after this incident, Ralph, the same chicken who was in the hospital and witnessed his family’s murder, was finally released. He had nothing to live for, nothing to look forward to in the future. He took up alcohol abuse for some time, until realizing what truly had to be done. He began tracking down his family’s killer, and with each day spent, he became closer and closer to discovering the dealer’s whereabouts. One day, he finally figured out who it was. As he arrived at the killers’ home, he took one last deep breath, then stormed in. After fighting through many of the dealers’ body-guards, Ralph finally reached the notorious drug dealing murder, Foghorn Leghorn. As a bloody battle ensued, it was clear who the winner would be.. As Ralph staggered out of the destroyed home, bloodied, yet victorious, he realized something. All the tracking, all the killing, all the bloodshed he had created, was all in vain. He realized that taking Foghorn’s life didn’t, and wouldn’t, bring his family back. Finding himself dumbfounded, he began to trot, head down, through the field where the bad drug deal happened, almost a year ago now. He took one last deep breath, looked at the stars, and took his first step on the road. This was it he decided, he was finally going to reunite with his family again once more. As the headlights raced towards him, he heard his family in unison whisper to him “You’re finally home Ralph, you’re finally home.”

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: toothpaste

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you describe a cranky rapist? Cranky and rapist

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What is worse than a sharknado? A bullcano.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did dallin fall off the swing he got hit by jds big penis

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Cavan keely's the type of guy who drives past hilltown screaming GET IT THE VAN!!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Put it on my bill."

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you stop a bus? Throw small children in front of it.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,850

2 people with ADD are playing baseball. One of them pitches to the other guy and the other guy swings his arms around, misses, then gets hit by a baseball bat. The batter then realized he was the pitcher and the other guy has gone off chasing after a bird that just flew by.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

two jews walk into a bar and were served properly

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why did the mean have to clean up the mass amount of dead bodies? Because he lost a game of rock-paper-scissors.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

yo mamas so young shes gonna b born soon

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the black guy stop drinking his kool-aid? He learned of its high sugar content and began to drink a glass of water as a healthier option.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why did model 602734 have tests? he didn't

thumb_up thumb_down +17

JUSTIN BIEBER PERFUME!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why was the black man in the hotel so upset? I shit on his chest.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are red, Violets are blue...........Im wearing socks

thumb_up thumb_down +1

So a dog walks into a bar.. well thats not true as most bars do not allow dogs.. oh..sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops