How did a baby get across the street? Stapled to a chicken.

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How did the chicken know where he was going? He had a map.

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Women's rights

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because as an animal with legs it is highly capable of doing such as it pleases.

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TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL! Cant we just dine at McDonalds? ITS THE SAME THING! Moral: Personally I love the taste of cardboard meat...

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why did jimmy stop eating his breakfast two Penn state officials knocked at the door

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what did one barstool say to the other what theres a butt on me

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Who moved faster? The snail or the blind man? The blind man until he ran into the road and got hit by a bus.

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im a barbie girl in a barbie world !!!! no your not its not phisicly possible for a plastic doll to have any form of feelings !!!!!

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Smeg...

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Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist? He didn't believe in santa.

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What's worse than 10 babies stapled to a tree? The Holocaust.

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your dad's gay. just let that sink in.

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What is brown and sticky? Black tar heroin.

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What happened when the Asian girl got an 89 on her Test? Her parents kicked her out of their house.

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How can you tell if someones gay? You ask them.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Its dad mom died....

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There was Jew, a black guy, an Asian guy, and a Mexican guy at the store. The store was called Walmart.

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asdasdasdasd

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I AM YOUR SALVATION! And you are my poopstain

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How do you confuse a blond? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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What does it mean when your dog goes to the bathroom on your floor? He hasn't been very well potty trained By: robobob123

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why did the 8 year old want a squirt gun? his parents were on fire

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops