A man walks into a bar with his dog. He orders 14 shots and proceeds to drink. For each shot he takes, he feeds one to his dog, who accepts it willingly. The bartender says "Well I've never seen anything stranger. Why did you order 14 shots, and why are you giving half to your dog." "Well," says the man, "my 14 year old dog was diagnosed with a fatal heart condition. I cannot afford to put him down, so the shots should kill him." The dog then dies.

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Your mammas so fat, she weighs significantly more than the average person.

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What's better than singing in the rain? Singing in a Pitt of fire. Oh wait that would be way worse than singing in the rain

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What did Coke say to Pepsi? "Hello."

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What's the difference between a water melon and a baby? One's fun to hit with a sledge hammer, the other's just a water melon.

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How do you confuse a person from France? By screaming in english at the sky while pionting at him.

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Why did the chandelier fall on the little boy? Hell if I know, the only person who saw it got hit by a chandelier and died.

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how many babies does it take to paint a house? that is child labor, which is illegal in many countries.

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Why did the boy make a horribly unfunny anti joke? He was bored.

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Q. what has 2 tums and a boner. A. a horny guy <3

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Why shouldn't I go out today? Well I haven't done any work today. Actually no. It's not that. I'd have to ask my guardian Sally to bring out the wheelchair, and well, I'm afraid of her. She beats me. My hobbies are playing football, watching Loose Women and looking at pictures of Gary Barlow on Google Images.

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What happened to the kids bike? It broke when he got hit by a bus

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a boy liked a girl. too bad she didn't like him.

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Man walks into a gun store, buys a gun. The same man goes home and lives happily till he dies of cancer. His son takes the gun shots himself, survives then later dies of cancer.

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How many nipples are on a raccoon ? I don't raccoono

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Roses are red Violets are blue I want to have sex But no one else wants to

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Why did the house get trashed? Cause the babysitter was a rooster

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how did the jewish man die He had a fatal hard attack

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How can you tell if someones gay? You ask them.

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How do you make a blond cry? Rape her

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What has potential but is in fact disappointing? This joke.

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Your mother is so obese that she has over the recommended daily calorie intake on a regular basis.

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What ticks and makes a very loud noise? the bed

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Women's rights.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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