What's faster than a black man running with your tv His brother with your XBOX

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Q. What does McDonald's and Michael Jackson have in common? A. They both stick their meat in 13 year old buns.

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? Down Syndrome

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What happens when you cross a starfish with a dog? Dogs and starfish are from a different phylum. They are genetically incompatible.

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how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? open the door and put him in.

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Why did little Susie light herself on fire? Answer: She wanted to be warm

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Why did the elephant cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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what do you call a fish without eyes? a fshhhhh

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So you're flying around in your bathtub, how pancakes to shingle a doghouse? Airhockey, because pizza bagels can't cry.

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what do you call an overweight 80 year old white man trying to be a pimp ? Mr.Fredrickson

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Wanna hear something half funny 34.5

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How do you make Sasuke cry? Kill his family

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why did the chicken cross the road because everyone on the other side already had bird flu

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Fat people

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guess what what ...

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What's worse than getting dumped? Being molested by a crazy hobo

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awkies when u see danni white fingering jacob :0;0;0;0, and jamie fingering himself..............

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Why did children rejoice when Michael Jackson died? Because they were at a birthday party, and only heard about his death afterward.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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why should not women able to vote? because their stupid and should not vote at all

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Where's my tractor?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the lesbian's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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Q: What did Michael Jackson do while he was preparing for his newest world tour? A: He died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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