Knock knock. Man: Who's there? Hooker: The hooker you called for. Man: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. Wife: Honey, who is it? Man: The hooker I called for, but you haven't left yet. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? Nothing, he was in tremendous pain.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did Jenny fail her photography class? Because Jenny has epilepsy and she had a coma while taking the final exam. To this day Jenny is drain dead in the hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the chicken cross the road? because the walk sign said to

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you tell the difference between a bomb and an Asian? One blows up.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

"hey you know that graveyard down the street." "yeah." "people are dying to get in there."

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What kind of horse can do a backflip? No kind of horse.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's the difference between a catcher's mitt and Lou Ferrigno? If you seriously said "I don't know, what?" I suggest getting a medical examination by a professional psychologist.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: What is black, white, and red all over? A: A nun in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

When life hands you lemons, you should question your sanity

thumb_up thumb_down +49

How do you get a dog and a baby mixed up? You stir your chili.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

lets see how many dislikes i can get from this...

thumb_up thumb_down -36

A duck walks into a convient store and ask the cashier, "You got any bread?". The cashier immediatley responds, "No sorry, we don't sell bread." The next day the duck comes back and asks the same cashier, "You got any bread?" The cashier sighs and responds, "No, we still have no bread." After browsing for about three minutes the duck comes back and asks, "You have any bread?" The cashier, as pissed off as a beached whale, says, "NO! WE WILL NEVER GET ANY FRICKEN BREAD AND IF YOU ASK AGAIN I'LL NAIL YOUR BEAK TO THIS COUNTER!" The duck sways his head and looks to the ground, only to look right back at the cashier and ask, "You got any nails." The cashier says, "No." The duck comes back and says, "You got any bread?"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats the difference between a Ferrari and 1,000 babies? The Ferrari is expensive and the babies are in a nice hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

kaite is dumb that is true

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you get when you cross a lawn mower and a rabbit? A dead rabbit...

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was Rosa Parks forced to sit in the back of the bus? Every seat wsa taken, and the back was her only option

thumb_up thumb_down +9

i did your mom......a favor. by making you......... a sandwhich. i rubbed her pussy.........cat. she saw my dick.........tionary. I slapped her ass...........what i did.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a Middle Eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +9

There was once a really smart Hufflepuff.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Knock Knock. Who's there? James. James who? James from work. Oh, come on in.

thumb_up thumb_down +65

A black man and a white man crash their cars. they promptly exchange insurance information and apologize to each other about the inconvenience.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops