How old was the baby when it took its first steps? That question is impossible to answer due to the fact the parents had an abortion and the fetus remained unborn.

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What did Jack give Jill for Christmas? Herpes.

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Why do vampires suck the blood of their victims? Because blood is very nutritious and provides more iron for heamoglobin.

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A man is walking down the street and sees a women sat on the pavement crying, he walks over to her and asks "what's wrong?" to which the women replies "it doesn't matter" the women then walks away as she did not want to share personal information with a stranger.

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What does Chuck Noris have under his beard? A chin

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Why didn't children go to their grandma at summer? Cause, they were hit by a car earlier that year and they are dead.

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How do you make a baby fly? Hit it's mother in the stomach.

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What starts with "m" and rhymes with monkey? Platypus

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What's worse than being forced to drink your own urine and eat a disabled kids poop? James Holmes (Ironic that the text I had to type in to post this was "I'M BATMAN".)

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What is the difference between an African and French person? Nothing all people ate equal.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from a Black family reunion.

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What's worse than getting one of your hands cut off? Getting both of your hands cut off.

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A woman walks into the bathroom and hears the sound of moaning. Not sure what to do she looks around and sees couples as far as the eye can see. She quickly turns to the woman and man standing next to her and asks what is going on here?! The woman says can't you read this is not a bathroom this is a public sex room! Only an idiot would ask that question. In shock the woman takes another look around and she spots someone she finds familiar. When she walks closer she finds that it is her boyfriend and that he is with another woman. Furious she walks up to him and slaps him in the face. The boyfriend looks at her and says sorry your sex just got old. Furious she says to him we never had sex!

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Me: f*** off Asshole: YOUR MOM! Me: -is dead.

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Q. why didnt the boy get a christmas present from his dear grandmother? A. because she died on thanksgiving

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How many blondes does it take to walk into a bar? One I guess. I don't know if I understand the question.

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Why did the banana go to the hospital? It didnt, bananas cannot speak or walk. It is a simple fact so you should know.

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What's better than winning a gold medal at the paralympics? Winning two gold medals.

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what did the man say to his boss? Hello boss

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What do you say to a black couple that just got married? Congratulations

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what did the kid say when he could not find his shoe? wheres my shoe?

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How did the mexicans get to the United States of America? By plane.

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A man with glasses and a cane walks out if a clothing store and accidentally bumps into a woman, knocking his hat off "Can't you watch where you're going?" the woman asks. The man then slaps her, knocking her to the ground. He picks up his new designer fedora, and drives off in his $90,000 Cadillac. The woman, after dusting herself off, gets the guy's plates, convinces a few witnesses to testify against the man, and informs the authorities of an assault. He was later arrested for assault as well as pimping and soliciting sex. He is found guilty in a court of law and is sentenced to 2-5 years in prison, and is doled a hefty fine.

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What did the man at the haberdashery say? Six and seven-eighths, bub, six and seven-eighths.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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