Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was tied to the first monkey.

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Why was 9 afraid of 10 because 10 was a registered sex offender

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What did the kind hearted wolf do when he saw the small, helpless, fluffy bunny? He ate it.

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Knock Knock! Oh god Johnny, someones at the door! Hide the heroin and bail man, BAIL!!!

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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What did the rapper Proof say when he got in a fight? Nothing, Proof is dead.

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What did the black man eat at a picnic? I don't know, I wasn't there.

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How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? Suck its dick.

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How did the fat man die? Someone who was mad at society shot him and many others in the head while at the workplace.

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on a scale from a banana to a pound coin - how much do you like the works of antonio vivaldi?

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I like my coffee like I like my slaves... Free

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a weird guy tickled a watermelon.

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As a kid I was always told that school would get me good places. As an adult, I have found that there is another thing that gets you into a good place. Shrooms.

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What did the man do after he rented a movie? He watched it

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Roses are red. I f***** a dude. you're a failed abortion. I never loved you.

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What's the difference between a leopard and a coffee table? There is no difference. They both have four legs.

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What's scarier than a ghost? Ur mum.

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good morning. good day. good night. good to see you santa

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What happens when you cross a housecat with a feral cat? A kitten is born.

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So a moose walks into a grocery store and asks the clerk, who is a penguin, "Where's the bread?" And the penguin says "On isle three!" But, when the moose gets to isle three... The bread isn't there!

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What do you call an animal with 4 legs ? A dog...

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Why did the boy rip out all of his hair? He was insane.

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i lyk 2 eet pup

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What did the monk give to the cancer patient? His love and reassurance.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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