Yo mama is so fat when she went to the fat contest they said SORRY no pros alowed

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why was the Pizza Delivery boy crying? He was sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock Knock. Who's there? Knock Knock. I said who's there? Knock Knock. WHO THE FUCK'S THERE, GODDAMNIT? Knock Knock. PLEASE STOP IT STOP IT OH GOD STOP IT Knock Knock SWEET DEAR JESUS GOD CHRIST STOPSTOPOHGODSTOPITNOW Knock Knock. FORGODSSAKECOMEIN. Hello, Mark. Oh, hi, Steven.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a man that's not funny? An un - funny man!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why is 6 afraid of 7? It's not. Numbers are not living organisms and thus are incapable of experiencing emotion.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What'd the left nut say to the right nut? How's it hangin?

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why did the photographer take so many pictures? Because he gets paid.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Jerry Sandusky walks into an Under 21

thumb_up thumb_down -4

porcupines love sun bathing in the winter months so it dosent rape their nose hairs

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What is the saddest episode on tv ever? The live broadcast of the World Trade Center being destroyed.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

I literally died laughing

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken just lost his job and has entered into a deep depression. He was going to commit suicide at the local KFC, but as he walked into the KFC, he saw a beautiful woman. They lived a full and happy life together until the chicken died of old age. Turns out the woman was blind, and partially deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Y u do dis?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Spilling Dr. Pepper on your carpet

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man makes a sandwich.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock Knock? Who's there? bob bob who? the builder

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What is the first letter of the alphabet? A. a B. 7 C. Mustard gas D. Because a penguin has 2 legs

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's white and hides behind a tree? Shy milk.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper with some red stuff on it.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

I was diagnosed with Clinical Depression the other day.... It made me sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,490

What's the difference between a dead black man in the road, and a dead dog in the road? One is a human being that probably leaves behind family and friends that will miss his absence. The other is an animal that will also be missed, but to a lesser degree since dogs don't form a bond with people other than the family it shared its life with. In either of the two cases, if I witnessed the accident that caused the death, I would promptly notify the authorities so as to make sure that the driver of the vehicle that hit them would be subjected to a breathalyzer test.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q. how many Americans does it take to screw in a light-bulb? A. usually it only takes one, but if the ladders is unsteady he might need one or two friends to help hold the ladder

thumb_up thumb_down -86

I took my father out last night. We went to the Olive Garden.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops