Knock Knock. Who's There? Nobody, this is a metaphorical door..

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How do you confuse a blonde? You put her in a round room and tell her to find the corner.

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Q: Whats the difference between water melon and a baby? A: Watermelon is a fruit.

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whats sad about a jew in a gas tank? nothing.

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A man with AIDS walks into a bar, what does he say? I have AIDS

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A blind man walks into a bar. He orders a drink and after a couple hours he leaves. He's only color blind.

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A priest and a rabbi attempt to take a whale to a bar. But due to the enormous size and the need for water, the whale couldnt come.

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1. Look at the size of his putter. 2. Oh, dang, my shaft's all bent. 3. You really wacked the hell out of that sucker. 4. After 18 holes I can barely walk. 5. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip. 6. Lift your head and spread your legs. 7. You have a nice stroke, but your follow through leaves a lot to be desired. 8. Just turn your back and drop it. 9. Hold up. I've got to wash my balls. 10. Damn, I missed the hole again.

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A banana walks into a bar many people leave considering bananas certainly don't walk. many people are wondering if they are dreaming

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What's big, white and can't climb a tree? A refrigerator.

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Why did god make asians? I dont know. Yah, me niether

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your mom likes dick and so do you

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imadewords

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Why can't Ray Charles see his friends? He's blind. Also he is dead.

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How do you make a teacher cry? Shit in their water bottle.

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Fine, you got me there, I have already made sure that you get your compensation, it is the least thing I can do you let me know if anyone claiming to be part of my order bothers you again, I promise I will personally enforce strict guidelines in order to ensure that such a thing never happens again. I hope you will trust me, I will no longer call it the Order of Nero, but as you know we cannot reveal the true name of our order. I also agree to meet you in person so we can further discuss this impeding situation which I will give top priority. Truth is Nero, that I used to be one of your co workers in the underground, and my attempts at saving what is left might not be as ideal as the goals we are set to achieve are, we simply cannot expect that people excel at greatness at the first go. Of course this grave incident is not even near a "mere lack of greatness" but rather a group of people that yes, sadly have rightfully claimed to be members of our society, yet I need you to come to terms that this was a huge oversight in my vision for a new and "improved" underground society, and not a intentional attack at you and your personal security. I submit to your demands, and I ask that you partake in a small number of meetings where we can all discuss and further develop the necessary guidelines required to further solidify our foundation.

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Frown is a four letter word.

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Today, we will be identifying power tools. This is not a drill.

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When life gives you lemons...you probably just found lemons.

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Why did the dyslexic man walk into the bra, he didn't he walked into a bar.

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Why was the boy running There was a giraffe chasing him

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What's the best part of having a doctor for a best friend? The sex.

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Guy: do u wanna hear a joke about my dick? Nah its to long Girl: Do u wanna hear a joke about my vagina? Actually that would make me very self concious I have ghonorrea and would appreciate not having to tell one.

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What's the worst thing a 13 year old could do? Have their Bar Mitzvah in Nazi Germany.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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