My dog got out of its cage So I found it and beat the shit out of my neighbors kid.

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What did the clam say to the scuba diver? FUCK MAN! STOP TOUCHING MY JEWELS! WOULD YOU WANT ME TO JUST RIP YOURS AND TAKE THEM WITH ME!

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What did the black man say to the other black man? We both share the same ethnicity

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How do you get your clock to stop ticking? Hit it with a sledge hammer.

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You suck big fat slobber

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Take this and put it- No.

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What is worse than 10 dead babies in a tree? 1 dead babies in 10 trees.

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Why did the man jump out of the plane? Because the plane was losing fuel fast so he grabbed a parachute and went for it and realized that was the only one left so everyone died a horrible death.

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hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

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Jews...

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why do the klu kux klan wear pillowcases on their heads? they were going to go with coon skin but thought it was a little much!!

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Sometimes I wonder; why is that frisbee getting closer? Then it hits me. Someone just threw a frisbee at me.

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why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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A blonde girl is lying dead on the floor with a potato peeler in her hand, what killed her? Substance abuse and loneliness.

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what do you call the man making meth in his basement? the police to stop inappropriate behavior from reaching the children of society.

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jacob mckeand sucks his own dick, lol jokes, he has jamie for that

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Where did Suzy go during the bombing? Everywhere

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A boy plays in his garden. Then he fall and his knee hurts a lot, but he doesn't cry. Do you know why? Because he's dead.

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What's the difference between your jokes and your penis? No one laughs at your jokes.

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What did the Hindenburg say? -nothing it just blew up

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A lady forgot to feed her goat. When she went to feed it, It wasn't there. Why? She didn't have a goat. Another lady forgot to feed her cat. When she went to feed it, it wasn't there. Why? It died 2 days earlier. A man forgot to feed his cow. When he went to go feed it, it wasn't there. Why? They had ate it for dinner last night. A teenage boy forgot to feed his hamster. When he went to feed it, it wasn't there. Why? He spent so much time playing video games that it ate itself. So the boy had his mom make him a sandwich.

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What does a person that is fasting get for Christmas? Food.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? When 6 was just a young boy living in a quaint suburbial town, his family, 1 2 3 4 and 5 were all killed by 7. 7 then burned down their house while 6 ran away from the blazing inferno he used to call home. 6 was forced to live off the land in order to survive. 6 built a house using only mud and sticks and a little elbow grease. When 7 heard the news that 6 was still alive and well in the forest, 7 went into the woods, tracked down 6's home and again burned it down. When 6 came back from a day of fishing and a handfull of fish, he saw that his house was burned down. The fish then escaped from his hands, and flew away. 7 had left a note on the ground that said 7. 6 then recalled the first time 7 had killed his family and burned down house. 7 had now burned down two of 6's houses. That is why 6 is afraid of 7.

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A hasidic Rabbi and a member of Hezbollah enter a bar in a Jewish settlement. (No, of course they didn't.)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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