Knock knock Who's there? Doorbell repairman

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What's the difference between a Lawyer and a hooker? Job description, income, and an incredibly large list of other things.

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A blonde walks into a hairdressers salon. She gets her hair cut.

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Why did the little boy chase after his ball? Because it rolled away

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Sally was ugly like a shaven babboon So she created her own little cacoon And within a week she finally emerged And she smelled like shit what a psycho

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Excuse me. Oh, would you mind hitting the 15th floor button for me? Thanks.

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There once was a beautiful princess named Snow White who lived with seven dwarves in the forest. One day, and old hag approached her and offered her an apple. She bit into the apple, chewed, and said,"Wow, that's tasty. Is this a Golden Delicious?" The hag said, "Why yes, it is. I have a private orchard. Perhaps I'll let you see it some time." The two promptly resumed their lives.

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So I showed my friend my blind dog. He said, "Wow I've never seen a blind dog before!" I said, "they havnt seen you either."

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Why was the baby so hot? Napalm. Why was the baby so cold? Meat locker.

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What is shaped like a duck without a beak? A duck that I punch the beak off of.

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Whats black and white and read all over? A dead magpie.

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A man is cheating on his wife. His wife finds out and is instantly distressed and begins to cry.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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What's really ugly and smells like a hampster? My hampster.

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A- 2 jews walk in a bar..what happed? B- they died 35 years later from skin cancer

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So this guy walks into the doctor's and says "Doctor, it hurts when I poke my leg like this." The doctor says "Yes, you've shattered both your kneecaps. You'll never walk again."

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What do you get when you cross a man, with Alzheimers disease?

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What is big, round, hairy, black with a little bit of white and red stripes, large feet, small hands, squinty eyes and a purple beret? Nothing. How ridiculous.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? I raped your mom and she swallowed my load, k

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Once upon a time, a princess was hungry. and there was a frog wearing a tux for some reason.so the princess ate him. THE END.

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what did the woman call the man who ate Ham? A Pig

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What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

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well the duck walked up to a lemonade stand, and he said to the man, running the stand "quack" then went on its way

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Roses are red, violets are red. Aaaaaahh! My garden's on fire!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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