A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

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What happens when the hydro goes out for 1 second? 1 minute? 1 hour? 1 day? 1 month? 1 year? -1.8 people die. 105 people die. 6,306 people die. 151,338 people die. 4,603,198 people die. 55,238,376 people die. Aw shit, then you have to take account for how many people die of starvation :\, and the ones who froze to death, and the ones who died from heat stroke, And the ones who died of Alzheimers.

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Your mother sleeps around so much that I worry that she may be taking too much medicine for her insomnia.

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There were three people on an airplane. A Mexican, an American and an Italian. The plane chrashed and they all died.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his dying grandma in the hospital

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Why did the girl lose her appetite She was stabbed repeatedly with a switch blade.

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http://adf.ly/C8MqG

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was being taken to the slaughter house

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A dimetrodon, a pterosaur and a chicken walk into a bar. As they enter, the bartender says "Hold it! We are not licensed to serve dinosaurs." "I am not a dinosaur," said the dimetrodon. "Neither am I," said the pterosaur. "But I am," said the chicken. So the dimetrodon and the pterosaur enjoyed a cold beer each, but the chicken had to wait outside.

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Three men are walking down the street to buy groceries. They then take a left and continue walking towards the store.

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What do you get when you cross a gay eskimo and a black man? Nothing, as two male humans cannot reproduce.

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Q: What do you get if you combine a melody, instrumentation, rhythm, and vocals? A: Um, music, you idiot.

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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Two fish we're in a tank.. Yup.

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What's the difference between a Lawyer and a hooker? Job description, income, and an incredibly large list of other things.

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A black man comes home from work.

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What's the difference between Justin Bieber and a gay guy? They're both gay

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Your mother is so fat that she's more prone to cardiovascular disease than other people who stick to the proper BMI or body mass index

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There are 2 black guys in a car. Who's driving? The police.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poetry

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Three jews walked into a bar I lied, it was a gas chamber

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What happens when you put a squid in the microwave? It dies.

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what is black and looks like a rasberry a blackberry

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Q:what do u call a dead baby tied to my feet? A:new shoes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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