throbbing slobber

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What did the homosexual find when he proceeded to his mailbox? His mail.

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Q. why did the skeleton crosse the rood. A. he didin`t becas he had no guts

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so there was a frog a bear and a walrus... i forgot how the rest goes but they all die because of a nuclear holocaust

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How do you kill off a zombie apocalypse? Laser vision

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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Why did the 80 year old man lose his vision? Because he recently blew his head off.

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A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

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Whats worse than breaking your pencil? Getting a cactus shoved up your ass.

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What's worse than finding a worm inside your apple? Finding an apple inside your worm.

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I have your mom in bed just kidding, i killed her Then barried her

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whats made of wood and floats? everything made of wood floats

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He is seriously pissed off about being repeatedly subjected to this level of intense interrogation. Do you ask other animals why they chase their tails or claw at dirt? Do people ask you why you run when you're late? How would you like to have every move you made transformed into some cliche, old farce? There's a road, he's a chicken, there are only so many possible outcomes.

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Why i'm breathing? I don't want die.

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What did one pile of dirt say to the other pile of dirt?? You're dirty

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What's more fun than nailing babies to a wall? Ripping them off again.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke 'er face.

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Why did the fish bite the house? Because he wanted to eat the house

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Friend: Dude are you going to see the hunger games? Me: But i alreay seen it Friend: Dafuq? its not even out yet. Me: African children invented the hunger games. Friend: -.-

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Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

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What do you do if you are locked inside a car with a baseball bat? Unlock the car

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7 Because 7 murdered her little sister

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? A pair of broken sunglasses, because his parents didn't care about him, and because he lived in Hawaii where it is very hot in December. Plus the kid's blind. By Nikhil Sridhar of Taikoo Shing, Hong Kong.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops