why did the monkey fall dead out of the tree? because edward cullen raped it up the arse sooo many times it died from internal bleeding.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

As a stand-up comedian, I've been really interested in how comedians have recovered from jokes not hitting making fun of the fact. Recently, I was in a situation where a rhetorical question didn't hit, and anti-joking (lamenting on the lack of a punchline sarcastically) ended up generating the laugh I needed to move on! Hurray for Anti-jokes! Me: You know the gym Extreme Fitness? Audience: SILENCE Me: (sarcastically) Yes, exactly. That's exactly how that interaction went in my mind when I was practising at home. I ask question - audience responds euphorically - I continue with my joke... http://michaeljagdeo.wordpress.com/2012/01/29/anti-jokes-how-to-recover-when-a-joke-doesnt-hit/

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Two cats are sat on a window ledge. One cat looks to the other and says "Meoww".

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the rabbi say to the Muslim? I don't know I wasnt there. But it probably had something to do with their varying religions.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

hi

thumb_up thumb_down -43

What did the doctor say to his patient with cancer? "You have cancer...".

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the chicken cross the road? How the hell should I know I'm not a mind reader.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

how did the family die? They were shot in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the student go to university? To pursue a higher education.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What would happen if RAINN Wilson, the actor, married Michael MANN, the director? They'd probably be arrested; 2 men can't get married in California anymore (thanks a lot, Utah)!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put my dick in your ass

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the car? We're going to Dairy Queen.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A Jewish man and a blonde were in a DIY store, the man buys a box of screws. The woman gets a phone call to find out her son is late for tennis training. She then hangs up the phone and leaves the DIY store with great hast.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did Larry fall off his bike? He was hit in the head with a brick...

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: How do you make Helen Keller cry? A: Casually remind her that she is both blind and deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A white rapper. HAHAHAHAHAHA oh ya he was muslim.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

The biggest lie in the world . . . I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

thumb_up thumb_down -6

His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Benjamin Frankin was playing with his Xbox...

thumb_up thumb_down -8

hi

thumb_up thumb_down -4

You know what they say about a guy with big feet? He wears large socks and has big shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

whats the differnce between madalin macan and batman?...batman returns

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops