What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing..

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You know what's a real drag? A club foot

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You know what I hate long anti-jokes that take up too much space.

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A man walks into a bar.....he then slips on an ice-cube and suffers massive trauma due to the fall. The owner is sued by the mans family and subsequently loses his business. He can no longer provide for his family. His wife is two weeks away from giving birth to their third child.

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Yesterday, upon the stair, I met a man who wasn't there. I saw him there again today; I've been sectioned. [L]

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What did the boy who was in a chainsaw accident yell to his mom when he was on a rollercoaster? Look ma, no hands!

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sandwich. roller coaster. brain sprout. cholera, meander. time. rivet.porcupine. mayonaise. frying. x-ray forever.

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Q: What did the anorexic girl do for thanksgiving? A: Nothing, she was paralyzed from a fall 2 days prior and nobody had found her yet.

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He died of alcohol poisoning that day

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what did the dog say to the cat? bark what did the cat say to the dog? nothing it ran away

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what did the man see in the mirror? Nothing, he was blind.

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What do you call a man that goes to work every day to provide for his family? A spoon

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So a catholic priest, a pedophile, and a rapist walk into a bar. He orders a beer.

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What is the biggest, most elaborate lie? Santa Clause

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Me: "If I had Alzheimers, I would break down into tears." Friend: "Why, you would forget why you were crying..." Me: "Who are you again?"

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 6 was racist.

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How did the little boy fall over? He was tripped up by his alcoholic father.

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What's worse than a paper cut? 2 paper cuts.

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What did the white guy say to the Mexican when he entered the US? How was your flight?

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Why did Tommy get a wedgie? He was gay, and his parens were dead, so the school bully,decided to wedge his underwear up his butt.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a registered sex offender.

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Q: What is green, blue, white and red? A: They're colors

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So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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So there was this kid who was sitting on a stool, and the stool started moving. He then realized that stools do not move, so he got up and ran away as quickly as he could.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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