A dog, a cat, and a a fish were having a conversation while their owners were away. Ashton Kutcher is a murderer.

My mom farted, she also has Alzheimer's, I also have Alzheimer's. Also pizza didn't like it

Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me!

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

What do an elephant, and a banana have in common? Neither one is an ambulance.

What happens when a man and a woman really love each other?... - They'll most likely go on a date and enjoy themselves.

Why did Landry hit the man with a metal pipe? Because he was a rapist and wanted to remove his virgin status.

What's the difference between Jews and boy scouts? Boy scouts come back from camp.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because a black man was chasing his dinner.

What did the amputee get for chritmas? A bicycle

Q: How many cantaloupes can you fit into Jackie Chan's basement? A: 4

Dad they tell me I am homosexual at school, what does it mean? Ask your boyfriend.

What do you call a fridge? Dorothy.

LOOP IN ARE FOR TOYUIL!!!!! HAR HAR HAR!!!!!!!! MOY SAY UHJIN LAK WAQUI SAMPA!!!!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOLOLOLOL IT IS SO FUNNY TO JOKE ABOUT!

Johnny fell out of the window. Except he didn't fall I pushed him

What's the most annoying thing in the world? Yourself. (Your friends are saying it too, behind your back)

why did the black man buy a gun? he was a hunter.

Why did the man float in the lake? Because he had more fat than average, so he was very buoyant

Name two things that are stupid and can get stupider. You can't , there's only one a blonde

Why did the girl fall from the tree? Gravity.

What's black and white and red all over? A mime that got hit by a train

Why did the black man die? Why didn't the black man die?

whats worse than one bee sting? two bee stings whats worse than two bee stings? the halocaust whats worse than the halocaust? three bee stings

A man fuffers srom lysdexiea

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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