What do you get when you cross a spider with a cow? A dead spider.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it lacks the cognitive reasoning ability necessary to determine that walking into oncoming traffic will surely result in death

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Why did the 15 year old commit suicide? Because his parents and 3 sisters died in a car accident and he went to live with his uncle, who constantly raped him.

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A green-painted man walked into a bar and confused a blonde, bar-tending horse with a tale of rape in the holocaust involving an amputee child riding a fridge on a plane with a pig, a duck, a chicken, a lawyer and countless men of various ethnicities, religious faiths and sexual persuasions. Together, they changed a lightbulb, ate wormy apples and agreed upon the colour of roses and violets respectively.

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Q: If it takes a chicken a day and a half to lay an egg and a half, then how long would it take a monkey to kick the seeds off of a dill pickle. A: I don't know. That's a stupid question.

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What walks like a duck, talks like a duck, and looks like a duck? Nothing. Ducks cannot speak, therefore this description negates all known living organisms.

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What Did The Hobo Get For Christmas? A Welcome Home Mat.

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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Why was the man sitting down? He was recently paralyzed in a car accident.

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a weird guy tickled a watermelon.

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Why did Daphie die? I stabbed her 487 times.

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What do you cal it when a black person gets married to a white person inner racial marriage

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A slutty deer walks into a bar she then comes out and says wow i cant believe i blew 30 bucks

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What is funnier then a dead baby? A dead baby dressed as a clown!

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There are 3 types of people in this world, those who can count to potato and those who can't.

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A man walks into a bar he orders a drink

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Why is a man like a packet of cards? Both are organic.

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A Man walks into a bar and asks for a shot. The Bartender proceeds to unload a 30 round banana clip into his head, neck, and midsection.

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whats funnier than a dead baby? many things. a dead baby is a very sad and tragic thing.

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i homeless man asked for ome change. he didnt get any because people were afraid he would spend it on drugs

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What is the main contrast about different banks? None, they all take your money!

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Why did the tortoise beat the hare. The tortoise had carcinoma thyroid cancer in the renal pelvis uterur.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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