A black guy and a Mexican are in a car. Q: Who's driving? A: The cops

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Whats worse than being gay? Nothing.

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Why did the monkey fall out the tree, He was dead

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Q.What does chuck norris eat as breakfast? ans.FOOD

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why did tom drop his ice cream he didn't because he had no icecream

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Why did the burglar get arrested? For beating an egg

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How do you know if a monster is hiding under your bed or in your closet? Go and look.

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Nobody enjoys your company. Nobody likes your work. Nobody loves you. There is no person who's name is legitimately nobody.

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How do you tell if someone is a Jew? Ask them politely.

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Racecar is spelled the same forwards and backwards. Masturbation does not work.

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Why is the world round? Because oranges are purple.

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What did the lion say the the zebra? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak and therefore could not make conversation with said zebra, hunted it down, killed it, and shared it with his pride of 27.

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What did batman say to robin as he got out of the batmobile? robin, shut the door.

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why did the asian go to the bar?? i dont know you tell me.

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Who has big eyes, big ears, and a big mouth? The witness I'm about to murder so he cannot testify against me. Wish me luck.

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Hummer.

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An Irishman walks out of a bar...

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What happened to the power lifter that tried to deadlift 920 lbs while wearing nothing but his briefs? he succeeded because he is trained power lifter.

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What did the guy who speaks in tongue say to the other guy who speaks in tongue? Gibberish

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Why do cows have tails? Because my pet rock stopped breathing.

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One day a man discovered he could suck his own penis. Unfortunately he was heterosexual and could derive no pleasure from doing so as he was acutely aware of the fact he had a penis in his mouth.

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What do you call Bilbo Baggins when you use him for pleasure? Dildo Baggins

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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yo mamas so fat she weighs a lot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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