A squirrel is about to steal the eggs of a sparrow when the sparrow suddenly says, "Stop! I will do anything if you would spare my eggs!" The squirrel has no capacity to reason and so steals the eggs anyway. The sparrow is devastated.

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How do you get 1,000 dead babies into a car? Blender. How do you get them out? Well you shouldn't. Leave the car in front of somebody that you hate's house.

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why can't hellen keller drive? Because she is visually impared and there for it would not be safe for her to drive

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What do you call a man with a seagull on his head? Whatever his name happens to be.

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What's louder than a cat stuck in a tree? A foghorn.

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock.. Who's there? Not Sally!

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What is a gremlin's favorite snack? Gremlins aren't real.

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What do you call a woman with two black eyes? Irish sunglasses

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Why are black people so ghetto? because they live in the ghetto

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Why was the boy praying? Because both of his parents had just been brutally murdered in front of him and he was analy defiled by the assailant and left alive to have live with the pain of seeing both of his parents be killed. He had also dropped his lollipop.

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Why did the man's pants fall down? He was not wearing a belt and had recently lost some weight.

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The only thing worse than finding a repeated joke on Anti-Joke is finding a REAL joke on Anti-Joke

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Joke

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Dick Chaney

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What do a rubix cube and a penis have in common? The more you play with it the harder it gets.

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What's better than Jack Daniels? Jack Daniels Jr.

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yo mamma's so retarded that shes a potato

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When there's something weird in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? The police.

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What did the racist say to the other racist? Hey how was yesterday's clan meeting?

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Why did the gambling addict go into the casino? To use the bathroom

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Why did the man lose his job at the orange juice factory? Because the economy is shitty and none of the higher ups are willing to take a pay cut and they’re still paying themselves massive bonuses, the result of which are layoffs across all departments.

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How do you feed a mockingbird? Give it some food.

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What is 10 inches long and didnt get sucked on valentines day? Whitney Houston's crack pipe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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