What did Thomas Jefferson's children call him? Grandpa

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Give me thumbs up!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the cancer patient shave his head? He wanted to pretend he still had hair.

thumb_up thumb_down

I was very thirsty so I decided to go get some soda.Upon reaching the soda store I discovered a very long line. I decided to leave the line and instead get some milk, unfortunately once again there was a long line at the milk store. Discouraged by still thirsty I decided to try to luck at the punch store. There was a long line there also.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

a man walks into a bar. it was a metal bar. his balls hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a man in front of three trains that have explosives tied to them and that are making amazingly loud noises? An idiot who obviously can't identify danger and probably had a childhood injury that cause his life to be ruined forever most likely cause by an evil uncle.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Yo dawg, I heard you like cars. Thats cool, whats your favorite one?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the woman stop making a sandwich for her husband? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

.......ah shit i forgotten the joke

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A black guy walks into a bar orders his drink and could not do it in a more civilized way

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the man say to the duck? Nothing ducks don't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Knock Knock Who's there? Police officer Police officer who? Police officer your whole family died in a car wreck last night.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why didnt the 14 year old get her period? Because she had gotten pregnant by her father

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

thumb_up thumb_down -71

A hooded black man walks into a pharmacy, he caught a cold due to the gelid weather and bought some medicine for himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what's worse than a kitten scratching your arm? A dead baby scratching your arm...

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I got a dig bick. You that read wrong, You read that wrong too.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's better then a bad anti joke? A Good anti joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

what does a chair look like? a chair.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the blonde go to the post office? Because she received a phone call from them indicating that there was a package for her.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are red, violets are red, tulips are red, oh shit my gardens on fire!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Statistically speaking, one out if every seven dwarves are unhappy

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops