Pirate ships are used by pirates.

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A man walks into a bar and walks up to the counter. The bartender looks the man up and down and asks "Can I help you?" "Ya, get this guy off my ass" the duck promptly replies.

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Why did the man start crying? Because he lost his job.

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There's two bears in a bathtub, One looks at the other and says "hey can you pass the soap?" the other bear says "what do i look like a light bulb?"

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? Because her mother inadvertently left the gate open while gardening.

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* Are you afraid of dinosaurs? * No, they're all dead.

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How do you get a nun pregnant? Artificial insemination.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? It's dependent on many factors, like the size of the babies and the tub. It would be a horrific endeavor, and you should probably stop thinking about such things.

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What do you call a bird with wings? A bird

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Santa Clogged my toliet

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Why little Susie often molested as a child? She was probably a good-looking child.

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Why did the guy eat his mom? people get hungry in this world

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Why couldn't the girl find a date to the prom? Because she was really, really ugly.

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Whats black and white and red all over? A multicultural parade where they all are wearing red clothes.

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Q: What's worse than finding 1 worm in your apple? A: Finding 2 worms in your apple Q: What's worse than finding 2 worms in your apple? A: The Holocaust Q: What's worse than the Holocaust? A: Finding 3 worms in your apple!

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Why was the young girl? A doctor told her that due to the fact that she was recently raped, she contracted AIDS.

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Q. What do you call a small hen that can't lay eggs properly? A. A small hen that can't lay eggs properly.

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xavier stop

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What was wrong with the tomato? Nothing.

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Why did the family at dinner not tip the waiter? He was mean and spat in their food.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Knock-knock. Who's there? The Chicken.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was about to get raped.

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I was bangin this girl and she kept yelling the wrong name. Who's rape??

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? I hit her with a shovel.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops