Q: how many babies does it take to paint a house red? A: It Depends on how hard you throw them

Why did the hobo get hit by a bus? He wanted to kill himself.

Why did the computer crash? Because it had too much alcohol.

Why did the Koala Bear fall out of the tree? Because shortly before, it's life had ended due to lethal chlamydia, which is not uncommon for a Koala Bear these days. Due to it's loss of thought and therefore muscle control, it lost it's grip on the branch it was holding and naturally gravity took over.

why did Sally fall off of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there?

Q: What's worse than stepping a LEGO in the middle of the night? A: A landmine

Once upon a time There was an ugly barnacle He was so ugly That everyone died The end!

What do you call an apple, an orange, and a pear in a bowl? Fruit

What did the football coach say to fire up his team? Nothing. He was not legally allowed to say anything to his team as they were being locked out by the coach's boss, the owner of the team and anything that he said to them could lose him his job.

What do you call a black man with cancer? Someone with cancer

Your mom is so fat that her every day life if a struggle and she has to get gastric bypass surgery or else she is going to die

What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? Their both purple. except for the rabbit

What's the hardest part about watching a 2 year old get hit by a bus? Trying not to laugh.

What's the difference between a boodle and a scoodle? Ladoodle!

A White guy, Black guy and Hispanic are all on the same bus. They get off at their predetermined stops and continue their day.

Knock know! Who's there? Aids! Aids who? Aids! Aids who? Orange! Orange who? Orange you glad I'm not aids!

How did the Joker get away? Because the Batmobile lost a wheel.

why did the chicken cross the road? it didn't it got hit by a bus.

how do you get a black guy out of a tree? ask himnicely and if he doesn't promptly call the fire department

Q: What do you call a white man with 5 black men? A: A friendly white man. Q: What do you call a white man with a hundred black man? A: A tourist in Kenya.

What's the difference between tires and a black guy? Tires don't scream once there are chains around them. ;)

rose's are red violets are blue bernard is mine and yours too if you hurt him in any way i'll punch you in your face and make you gay Krissc

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

I Have A Dog Named Woof Woof A Chicken Called Clucky A Cow Named Moo And A Pig Named Oink Lol Jks I Was Talking About My Wife

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...