Why didn't the man go to work on Friday the 13th? Because he was unemployed.

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A dog got into a gingerbread house. She ate some and brought some to the basement it got on the couch!

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What do you do if there's a rabid elephant chasing behind you, a vicious jaguar to your right, a rearing horse to your left, and a bloodthirsty lion in front of you? Innoculate yourself with a rabies vaccine, prod the jaguar on the nose with a stick (they hate that and will probably flee as a result), speak softly and calmly to the horse and encourage the lion to go for the elephant instead of you. You will probably still die as a combined result of mauling and trampling, and it's unlikely that you'll have two rabies vaccines to hand by chance for such situations, but your chances of survival will be minimally improved.

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whats worse than the holocaust? 2 holocausts

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hahah there are so funny that they are so funny that they are so litteral that i make my self make other people laugh so that they poop

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Yo mamas so fat that she slowly had developed obstructive sleep apnea syndrome and had died due to an obstruction of her upper airway while she was sleeping.

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What do you call a ostrich with no legs? Damn, that's funny.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead. Q: Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the first one. Q: Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A: Peer pressure.

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What did the rapper Proof say when he got in a fight? Nothing, Proof is dead.

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What do you give a sick bird? First-Aid tweetment.

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A cow went into a meadow and ate some grass. Some time later he wandered off.

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How do you make an ugly person not ugly? Put a bag over their head. With,, a smiley face.

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Roses are Red Violets are dog I'm Senile Flower tastes like frog.

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In Soviet Russia, people are dying of starvation.

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knock knock who's there? john john who? john opens his mouth only to be gunned down by a terrorist attack

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Why did the kids stop playing tag? Because the boy was "it" was kidnapped and never seen again

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How do you fit 100 babies into a bowl? You use a blender. How do you get them out? Tostitos scoops.

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My Roomate-(crying in the fetal position for the love of his life has been murderer) Me- (laughing) I have a problem

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You remind me of something. What? Summer Why because I'm hot? no because there is no class..

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what did the little boy get for christmas? nothing, he was homeless

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Two muffins are in the oven. They don't say anything because muffins can't talk. The end.

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Here's the senario, There are 2 astronauts kayaking in the Sahara dessert. the question is how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? The awnser is purple because ice cream has no bones.

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What did the person with down syndrome do? He mumbled for a while, chewed on his thumb, fell flat on his face, and died.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm not good at poems Nice tits

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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