How did the blind man cross the road? With the use of a cane and a registered seeing eye dog

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I really don't like Holocaust jokes. My grandfather died in the Holocaust. He fell off of a guard tower.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, He has died, And now will you,

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How do you confuse a blonde?? Throw her in a circle room and tell her to find all the corners If she comes out and says I found the corners.. then your screwed

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why cant dinosaurs talk? because they're all dead.

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What's red, loose, and easy to wear? A rock. I lie about everything.

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what do u call a hobo name Max Max

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Why can't Helen Keller conduct a Train. Because she is dead.

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If Santa's not real, then who pees on the tree every morning?

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why did the iraqi woman bury her wedding ring in the ground? because it's the only way she could properly pay respect to the death of her husband who recently died in a group suicide bombing.

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Knock knock. "Who's there?" "It's Mr. Johnson, your next door neighbor." "Come on in."

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Your moms so fat, she's not skinny

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Yo momma is so average, she has to maintain her own facebook account...

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How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get a ladder and carry him down.

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What did the dead man say at his own funeral? Nothing, he's dead...

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How do you get a clown to shut up? Hit him in the face with an axe

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lets bomb africa

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One day a kid said to his mom: "Mom, I painted the bed sheets with your lipstick". So his mom got mad.

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You know what me and Bill Cosby have in common? Katie..

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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Why did little Jimmy eat his finger ? He was hungry.

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How did Eric Clapton's son fall to his death? He crawled out the window.

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How do you kill a down-syndrome kid? fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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