What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Once upon time the government was corrupt Jk, it always has been

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Your momma is so fat, she should be concerned about her increased risk if a heart attack because of her poor eating habits.

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Why Is Six Afraid of Seven? because he is black.

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What do u call something that's sticky and in a stick form? A glue stick :)

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What do we call the science of classifying living things? Racism

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Knock Knock Who's there? re-posession officers

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stevie wonder watched a movie yesterday

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, if the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are due to transportation issues. (What if there are no replacement light bulbs in the house, and the nearest store was 10 miles away? It would be ridiculous to expect someone to walk twenty miles to replace a light bulb) In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

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Why did the computer crash? Because it had too much alcohol.

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Why was the boy afraid of the dark? he was blind

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzhiemers Wait, who are you

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What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my shoes when i jump on a trampoline.

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What did the elephant say to the clown? Swell, morning isn't it?

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Your mother smells so bad that people make comments about it behind her back, and one person mailed her some soap.

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson was a child molester.

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There once was a genie With a sevenfoot weenie And he went to the lady next door She thought it was a snake So she hit it with a rake And then he murdered the shit out of her.

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I like trees. Trees hate you. Bye.

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Why did Moses part the sea Because it was divisible by 2

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What do you call a black person flying an airplane? The pilot.

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Why don't you throw a rock at a Mexican on a bike? Because depending on the size of the rock, you could seriously injure him.

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whats worse than being cold? having a pine cone shoved up your ass.

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What's black and has the texture of tar? Molasses

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what did the man say to his horse? sex. -teagan doherty

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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