I win an iPad for pooping on someone's head Answer- We have a muddaf**kin winna

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What is the difference between Boyscouts and Jews? Boyscouts come home from camp.

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what do you get when you have unprotected sex with a hooker? an orgasm

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Incidentally,on the subject of friends, when do you actually classify someone as a friend? Is it: When you have been to each others' house; When you have had an intelligent conversation more than once; When you have stayed for dinner; Or perhaps simply when each has decided that the other is worth the air that they breathe? [L]

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what is the differance between a toyata and a van full of dead babies I dont own a toyata

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Do you know the reason people like sleeping? It's because they have good dreams. Ooh la la.--

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An Englishman, Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a pub where they are presented with a situation, the Englishman and Scotsman react appropriately but the Irishman does something foolish.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Fed-Ex. We have a package for you.

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How can you tell that a blonde has been using a computer? You can't. There's no common link between computing habits and hair color.

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The umpire asked the baseball coach "Who is that on 1st base?" The baseball coach said "Who." The umpire said "Yes, that's what I'm asking." The baseball coach handed the umpire a list of his players to avoid any further confusion.

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What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff.

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You know what sucks ? A vacuum.

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Why did the man push open the door? The sign said PUSH.

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A man from China is learning English and when confronted by a cop accidentally answers each question with one of the few words he knows, impugning himself in the process. The cop, not being a sociopath, realizes that the chuckling foreigner probably has no idea what he has just done and hands him a dictionary to help him cope with the drastic change.

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This is on of those few moments where my guts and attitude leave me feeling as if the entire world is against me... ...Then I cant help but to smirk and think... The world against me? Finally a worthy challenge... Such a great day... Nero because fuck morals: Friends and not so friends do not call me Black Metal because I listen to power rock, my mother high on drugs attacked my wife claiming she was Satan, I killed my angel dust empowered mother, felt as if the world was against me... ...Such a great day... "I killed my father too but you dont hear me whining about it!" And of course... ...Rest in pieces oh "dear" mother", at least you did one good thing, you gave birth to your undertaker, while I killed you to end my lifelong misery, My only regret is ending yours... Now I request you all think I am a monster and pretend we live in a world where all parents are nice and good... You already deluded yourself? Perhaps you should thumb me up instead then.

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Knock knock Who's there? April April who? April fools

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What do you call a blonde at the beach? A dipthong.

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? The man's loving family had recently been murdered, and the clock was a constant reminder of their mortality, as it had served as the center of those horrific events.

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Hey, Max!!

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If a blonde and a brunette fell off a cliff who would reach the ground first? The blonde because she was fatter.

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once upon a time, a bird fell in love with a fish.. they both died.

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I asked a Jewish girl for her number. she rolled up her sleeve.

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Fine, Nero7 made sure I got to a safe place at least. My code is "Eliza", that is all, please provide me with whatever information you can regarding what happened, and while I read you are not shy of graphical detail, I ask that you keep it lightly, Nero7 meant much to me, please. -"Veronica.

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Two men walk into a bar...They are traveling together for a convention and like pub type bars and are excited to be there.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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