A mass murderer ran into a bar full of people. He first shot a man. What did the man say when the murderer shot him? Nothing, he was hit in the head and instantly died before he could say anything.

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two fish are in a tank.

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Jimmy: Daddy how are babies made? Dad: If i knew how you wouldn't be here...

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Q: What did the psychopath dream about? A: An insane chimpanzee kicking his head off, or maybe something normal

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"Knock, knock!" "Who's there?" "The police." "'The police', who?" "Sir, come out of your domicile with your hands up and no weapons present. You've just gone to an orphanage and massacred almost every nun who's worked there for almost five years. Not only that, but your son has also contracted AIDS from his previously lesbian girlfriend whom she has lost her mother too in the orphanage accident you've just caused."

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A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says "Hey, we named a drink after you!". The grasshopper says "What, Dave?"

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A Weight loss service that works

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Patrick, I just thought of something funnier than 24. Lemme hear it. 25.

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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what's red and smells like water? Red food-coloured water.

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Q:why did i cross the road A: time to get a watch

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Three guys walk into a bar.....The fourth one ducks...

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Why couldn't the cow move? It had Cystic Fibrosis.

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1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 24

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have cancer."

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Why isn't Neil Patrick Harris like Barney Stinson in real life? Because he's gay

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when life knocks you down you don't do anything because life is a mental concept that does not have the ability to knock you down since it doesn't have a physical bodie

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Your mother is so stupid that it would be politically incorrect and socially unacceptable to make asinine, derogatory comments about her challenges.

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What did one wardrobe say to another wardrobe? Clothes.

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What did the clerk say and do when he was givng out free food What he did:Gave them What he said:"If you want to get this free, pay $5.00"

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Tennesse

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A man walks into a bar... And orders a glass of beer to cool himself off after a long day at the quarry.

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Why did the skeleton stay home from the party He was buried in a coffin underground and, as a matter of fact, wasn't actually invited

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qu'est ce qui est petit et poilu? un asticot poilu

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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