What has many legs, but can't walk? A dead spider.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Four blondes are driving to Disney World. When they are in Florida, there is a sign that says "Disney left" Upset, they make a u-turn and go home.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I'm a burrito... With a big shirt.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's eighteen inches long, stiff, and makes women scream at night? A twelve inch long penis that is erect, thus adding approximately one half of its flaccid size, and involved in the act of fornication with the female partner of the man whose penis I am describing. (Of course, it is ignorant and juvenile to assume that the man in question is heterosexual. He may be a homosexual, which is perfectly acceptable in these liberal times we live in, or he may in fact be single and not inclined towards a sexual preference of any kind. This is understandable due to the myriad complications of long-term relationships, a result of the infinite differences between the masculine and feminine psyches.)

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Got Milk? Why yes! Yes I do!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Once, there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why did the man die? he got shot

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats cooler than cool? Ice Cold.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Two guys went to a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure" said the guys. The bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure said the guys" At this point, the bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure said the guys" At this point, the bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure said the guys" At this point, the bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? (when you are done start reading from the top again, and don't stop ever)

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's big and red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's a small person? A midget

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why won't lance Armstrong survive 2012 Because he has cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the indian man take the peanuts out of his lunch? Because he's allergic.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man is driving down the highway. He falls asleep at the wheel due to his case of narcolepsy, and dies in a fiery car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is worse than getting a 30% on a test? Getting a 29% on a test.

thumb_up thumb_down +68

What's yellow and lays in a tree? Tweety the Whore

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's the difference between a porsche and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a porsche in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Hitler: I said PASS THE JUICE! not GAS THE JEWS!

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Why did the boy drown? Because he was actually a brick. I lied about him being a boy.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a police officer who kills a black person? Innocent

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why do black men run faster then white men? Because they practice more and some simply want to improve themselves in the sport more then other men. Of course, some white men are faster then some black men, so the whole question in general is not true. You should not believe everything you read on here.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How many dead babies can fit in a dead horse 11

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: Why did Katie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms.. Q: Why didn't she have any arms? A: 50. Cal... Q: Wait where'd she go? A: I don't know there's a helicopter in my scop- wait what the f**k is going on?.... TO: CoD 4 Players -Ap

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops