Yo moma is so fat. yep.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

you know whats better than lemonade? sex

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Johnny: One day dad i will be tall like you! (Later that day johnny was found dead in a garbage bag)

thumb_up thumb_down

Q What did Stevens mum say when he asked to be an astronaut A no your heads too big

thumb_up thumb_down -21

So there was once this cool little dude that had a purple nose. People would walk by on the streets and say, "Hey! That's a cool nose!" Purple nose man appreciated that they didn't pretend it wasn't there, and instead celebrated the diversity. The next day, he was scalped.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why wasn't Will invited to the party? Will has been dead for 3 years.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? No. Oh don't worry then.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the priest kill his family? Preists can't marry, therefore have not families.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Dad always said that laughter was the best medicine. Maybe that's why he died of tuberculosis.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Technically rainbows are white.....and have gold at the end.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Stephen Hawkins walks into a bar...

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the Chinese Arab buy blue paint? He already had red in his basement.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call shark with no dorsal fin? Unused ingredients for soup.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did jimmy cross the road? Because that was the direction the cannon was pointing.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

BTW ANders she is gone, read below, seriously! And your mother is ugly, but she is so kind to me, so ill be nice to her too... Seducing a LONE WIDOW ME 32 years she... 180 and always blushing around me? Thats gonna be hard... No seriously, I kissed her on the cheek the other day, she moaned... And she aint that old... looks like a old 40 year old. ANDERS! AAAANDEERS! CHATTERTON!!! Anyway, tell your mom, that way Ill just need to enter, kill you, and you know... make her feel like she is ... 77 again? Nah she is ahornbag so she must be younger, wont kiss her on those lips though ANDERSSSss because she smokes, the others? Sure, Ill take a pic of her squirting! From the guy that taught you how to make any woman squirt... YOu fucking asshole!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

whats worse than failing your maths test? getting aids

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do vampires cross the sea in?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

a dyslecstic son seys to his mum can i have a mcdonald for tea the mum seys ye if you can spell mcdonlds and the son seys fuk that im having a kcf

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what happend to the ghost? he dissapeared! :)

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call an amazing person Good

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops