knock knock whose there? it's me, Connie oh hi Connie, wont you come in? oh i was just wandering if i could borrow your scotch tape ofcourse! one moment please. no problem. say, hows phil been? oh he's great, he just got a new job! here's your scotch tape! thank you so much! ....................... what a perfect scene. It is very unfortunate, though, for as Connie walked away from the family whom she borrowed the tape from, a car came by and with a single strike, killed her. this proves that nothing is perfect.

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what would happen if you took all the veins out of your body and laid them out tip to tip? you die

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Why did the bud driver drop his ice cream? Because he hit a boy.

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What did one llama say to the other llama when they were on vacation? I filled our luggage with orphan meat because i'm building a meat dragon and not just any meat will do.

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why is 6 afraid of 7? i don't know, ask 6

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Stevie Wonder has put on a lot of weight since the 70's. I feel really bad for him because he can't watch what he eats.

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I like my women like I like my coffee. Without a penis

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What do you call a black man in the south? An example of diverse America

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What's worse than finding a fly in your soup? Being raped... What's worse than being raped? The Holocaust What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two flies in your soup

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whats blue, saggy, moldy and smelly? Will Nealis' Vagina

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A man and his wife are disagreeing about what type of car to get. The wife continously nags him about getting her something that will go from 0-200 in 4 seconds, so he gets her a scale and buys himself a truck, 1 min later an abulance is called because the wife hit the husband with his new car.

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What's better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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What do you get when you cross a turtle and a cheetah? A fictional animal.

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Believing in God may be a sign of autism Kappa

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What do you call a Mexican that swam across the border? An illegal immigrant.

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Chuck Norris walks in to a bar then many people greet him because of his celebrity status.

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how do you break up with your girlfriend? talk about their race.

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Your mom is so stupid, she didn't know the answer to 2+5

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

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I'll have a chocolate milkshake, hold the onions.

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh wait i think i missed the joke, what?

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What happened when the man was about to hug the sexiest person he ever saw in his life? He hit the mirror.

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What did the midget get for Christmas? A new watch and a gift card for Applebee's.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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