A neutron walks into a bar. The barman says, "for you, no charge." The neutron replies, "very funny asshole, you're just going to put it on my tab after I pass out."

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A guy walks into a bar, sits down, and gives a heavy sigh. The bartender asks, "What's wrong?" The guy says, "Nothing."

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Why was there a lion in the bathroom? Because I threw a refrigerator at it and stapled a frog to its butthole, all while it was being chased by a 10 foot scorpion and a purple salmon that only had 1 eye.

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why did the man fall off his unicycle? because he was dead

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There once was a man from Madrass Whose balls were made out of brass This was incredibly uncomfortable and embarrassing for him. It also affected his sexual potency and rendered him infertile, Which drastically affected his ability to enter and sustain relationships with women.

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What did the Rabbi say to the priest? The holocaust was real and it tore apart my family.

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A black man walks into a bank with a gun. He then clocks in and takes duty because he is a security guard at the bank.

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What did the hot rod say to the other hot rod Its hot in here

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Knock knock who's there atch watch who? bless you

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Two muffins are in the oven They didn't say anything.

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Roses are red violets are blue suck my **** and I'll **** you too

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Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

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What do you call potato salad in Iceland? Edible. The fact that it happens to be in Iceland doesn't make a difference

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what do you call a dumb blonde with no arms? Her name because she will not respond to anything else

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Why couldn't the mentally retarded kid hear? It was too dark.

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KANE TUCKER HAS A CHODE THE SIZE OF HIS FINGER NAIL

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cause he wanted to get squashed by the giant pancake.

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what do you call a shitty anti-joke? A shitty anti-joke.

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A termite walks intio a bar, looks the lovely timber bar up and down, and wonders out loud..."where's the bar tender?"

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She had just prepared her breakfast and was late for her full-time job as a firefighter.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream. He never got an ice cream he is alergic.

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Q what do you do when your friend tells you hes a homosexual A. you tell him that you will accept him and can still be very good friends

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What the difference between a rabbit an a eagle? They both fly except for the rabbit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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