You know what's worse than finding a real joke on antijoke.com? AIDS

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What did one Pokemon say to the other pokemon? We are fake.

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Knock knock Who's there? What.

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Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Have you seen the size of their fingers!?!?!

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Why did suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Whos there NOT SUZY!

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis

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What did the man say after he was shot? Nothing, because the bullet hit the man with so much impact that he instantly died and was unable to talk at the current time. Others in the surrounding area walked by as if nothing was there.

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Your momma's so fat: She's willing to risk kidney damage and embarrassing flatulence by undertaking the atkins diet.

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What did the homeless black guy write on his sign? need money for weed.

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A Muslim, a Jew, and a Christian find a magical lamp with a genie inside. He offers each of them one wish. The Muslim wishes that people didn't look at his people as terrorists. The Jew wishes that the Holocaust never happened, and the Christian wishes for world peace. Actually this didn't happen, Genies don't exist.

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Why did the cow have to travel everywhere by an electric scooter? It had motor neurone disease.

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Why did the chicken lay an egg? Because she got knocked up.

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whats worse than finding out you have Alzheimer's? Finding out you have Alzheimer's

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Why did the audience leave disappointed? Low budget and poor directing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Your mother is so fat that when she sits around the house she is likely to be there for some time.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a penis and a knife choose which one goes in you.

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A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

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How do you stop a black man from running? You shoot his knee caps.

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A man loses his wife in a car accident He then fall into a deep depression then hangs himself.

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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Where is the best place to hold a bridal shower? The Kitchen

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how do you make a plumber cry? you hit him in the face

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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