C.U.M. on guys, gay jokes arent funny

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Three men are all in a car park and they all want the same parking spot. As it turns out, it was a trolley bay

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what is worse than throwing a dead baby off a cliff? catching one with a pitchfork!!!!

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Knock knock, Who's there Why did the chicken cross the road? Idiot.

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Why didn't the boy cross the road? Because there was traffic moving at high speed and he didn't want to be paralyzed from the waist down

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A women left the kitchen.

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it's funny because it's funny

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who are the worlds fastest readers? the people who jumped on 911 cause they read 48 stories in 10 seconds

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How do you make lady gaga angry? punch her in the face and throw her off a cliff

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A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya?" the man replies: "shut up gaylord"

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an autistic child eats its family's dogs poop and dies

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So, a Turtle, a Giraffe, and a Hippopotamus walk into Stop-N-Shop. They are quickly excorted out and the Zoo is contacted to take the wild animals. The Manager wonders why they were there in the first place.

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Want to hear a joke? Me to...

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A man walks into a park and presents candy to children. They request more candy and thus are laureded into his van. They are raped murdered and never seen again.

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Q: Why did the Unicorn cross the road? A: It didn't Unicorns are fictional creatures.

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Why are a black man's eyes always bloodshot red after having sex? Pepper spray.

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A man walks into a bar. He has a beer and then goes home.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferarri? I don't have a ferarri in my garage.

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Did the chicken cross the road? No because it was in a fenced in area like all farm animals should be

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Barack Obama.

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How many cans does the average alcoholic drink in one night? None. Cans are solid and therefore cannot be drank.

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How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

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Why was the blonde girl stupid? She had suffered sever brain damage the previous month and was still recovering.

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This is supposed to be an anti-joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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