yo momma so old that when she whent to school there was no history class

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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conrad profit

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What did the grape do after it was stepped on? Nothing, as it was incapacitated, and even under normal circumstances, it would be incapable of performing any voluntary actions as it is only a grape.

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Bannana man do do do do do ect.

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Q: If your 17 year-old-daughter is a drug addict, how many cartwheels are you going to have to do to make it to Georgia? A: The French Revolution, because your grandmothers facebook shows an 11 year-old selling Concords to a green alien, which can only mean that over 600 people watch porn daily.

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i am iron man running over fat kids in my van

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You're mama's SO stupid that when she applied to college, they were happy to help.

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What's something 9/10 people enjoy? A gang rape.

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Three men walked into a bar. Despite the fact that the bar was not an oblong piece of solid material as many would assume, the men entered through the tavern door simultaneously and found it most uncomfortable and awkward to be squished up against each other for several moments.

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what did the murderer say when he lost his gun? dangit. now i cant kill anyone

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The cow says MOO. Until you shoot it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to my house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? You don't, he just jumps down.

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David Cameron

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whats big and green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? a snooker table

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why didnt Timmy get anything for Christmas?His mom told santa he was very naughty that year

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How many jews can you fit in a car? That depends on the volume of the car and the size of the people involved - different cars are of different sizes and can fit a different number of people. For instance, you could probably fit more than 20 midget jews in a van but you could probably not fit as many overweight jews in a coupé. However if you put some effort into getting as many standard sized people, in this case jews for reasons unknown, into a standard size sedan you should be able to fit about seven or eight in the car itself and one in the trunk, making a total of nine or ten.

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Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither, many scientists believe that the first living organisms on Earth were single-celled, prokaryotic bacteria.

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What do you call a black man and a white woman who are married? A married couple

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Jake Bowar

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When you nut and slice her fukcing dumb head off fucking dumb BITCH DIES

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What happened to the public server who went to the 5 dollar brothel? He contracted syphilis and died several months later.

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What did the kitty say when it's owner called him over? Nothing. It's owner killed him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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