What do all homosexuals have in common? Not much.

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What kind of sex do you have with twenty seven year olds any kind you want there are twenty of them

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When is the best time to eat? When you feel like it.

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I pissed myself the other day in Harrods when I saw a Somalian boy run up to a curtain saying mummy.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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You copy and paster!

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If a blonde and a brunette are both falling out of a building, which one will hit the ground first? The brunette, she jumped first.

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How much dirt is in a 4 by 6 by 8 hole? None its a hole.

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White people talk like this 'HEY' Black people talk like this 'YO' Hundreds of thousands died in the civil war.

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Why do seagulls fly over seas? Because if they flew over bays they'd be called bagels.

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knock knock Who's there? Someone who wants to save you from the shitty dinner your lazy wife made.

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Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Um no horses are overrated.

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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A handicapp walks into a bar

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( . Y . )

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Doctor Adams. You called me about your father's stroke.

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What happened to the man that jump out of the airplane with no parachute? He landed on a baby and both died almost instantly. The authorities were called and they took care of the situation flawlessly.

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Roses are red That much is true But violets are purple Not freaking blue

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What did a dodo do after his last meal? Become extinct

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Did you know diarrhoea is genetic? It is a side effect of Polycystic Kidney Disease.

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Your mom's your dad's wife. Except when she's not.

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What do you call a black man with a PhD.? A Doctor! What are you, racist?

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How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? A car crash.

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Q: How many Jew does it take to change a light bulb? A: A lightbulb cannot be changed, it either is or isn't. Do you mean replace a burned-out bulb with a new one? With design, logistics, manufacturing, marketing of just that single bulb- there are many people involved. It could be argued that we all play some small part in the process.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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