whats worse than loseing your dog? getting raped by a clown.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the bottom of a pit? Whatever his parents named him.

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When you wish upon a star... You are only seeing the light of that star, which has taken billions of years to travel here. The star that you are looking at has most likely dead, Just like your dreams.

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What's round and orangey? An orange.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor

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Why don't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

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Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree? Because ie was glued to the other one. why did the third elephant fall out ot the tree? Because he thought it was a game. why did the tree fall? Because there were elephants in it.

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whats worse than finding out there's mold in your bread? finding out the holocaust is in your bread

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There's a god, just kidding.

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roses are white violets are green if you you sit on santas lap he will stab you

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why did the black man die? the man bled out, and doctors did everything they could.

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So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

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Jewish People

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no.

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“It doesn’t take a lot to turn me on” – William Deane

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Knock Knock there's a doorbell

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Knock Knock Whos there? It was the unexpected arrival of his wifes lover who'd been having an affair with her for over a year She thought her husband would be out and forgot to tell him not to come The husband started breaking down in tears whilst throwing insults at both of them, grabbing the man by his collar and throwing him on the ground he started to kick his head in The man died and the husband and wife divorced, theres now a bench in the mans local park dedicated to him.

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Why couldn't Ray Charles read? He was blind.

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I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one animal there and it was a dog. It was a shitzoo

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre

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Why is Alex Mann Fat? Because he doesnt eat healthy food.

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Alcoholic walks into a bar and then walks out because he promised his children and wife that he would straight out his life.

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How can you tell if a dog is under your chair? Look under your chair

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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