A man was chopping wood, he then brought the wood to his house and lit a fire.

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no jokes left :( ill try to make some more the ones with nude in my comments is mine

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What did the (real) wrestler say to the U.F.C guy? Probably something nice because most U.F.C fighters were wrestlers.

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Two monkeys are sitting in a tree. One monkey looks to the other monkey and says, "I bet I can jump from this tree to the next tree without falling." The other monkey replies, "I'm sure you could. You're a monkey."

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What is worse then finding a worm in your apple!? Getting raped!

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Why did the little boy fall asleep? His parent pulled the plug.

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Roses are red, Viiolets are blue, Get in the gas chamber, You dirty Jew.

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What's big, yellow and green? The sun, i was kidding about the green

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"Knock, knock." "You don't have to say that. The door's open, come on in."

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Woman rights.

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Bob: The whale is a creature that isn't naturally capable of creating any kind of technologically advanced unit of operations? Spectator: Was that actually a question or a statement? Bob: To be candid, occasionally my mind registers the practically indelible impression that I am not competent enough to effectively articulate my relatively subtle thoughts of philosophical value. Spectator: What'd you attempt to explicate? Bob: Hello, contemporary. Spectator: That's definitely considerably better than, "Benevolent greeting to you, fellow indigenous inhabitants of the magnificant, planetary cynosure, Earth Prime." You've managed to improve! Bob: I shall try to emulate those simpletons of this planet in order to garner new allies. Maybe next time I should just stick with some traditional routines that many people currently practice on a daily basis. Now, it's time to examine some "test subjects" so to educate myself further on the nature of my numerous classmates, purported facillitators etc. Spectator: Bye. Bob: See you next time! Wow... I amaze myself with my ability to efficiently adapt to my circumstantial situations. I mean, I am a ninja student who has developed new skills at communication! Wait... nevermind. Bystander: man, were you just soliloquizing... and personally enjoying it? Bob: Ehhh,... No? Bystander: Was that a statement or a question?

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A man walks into a bar... and gets hurt.

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Whats similar about an elephant and a plum? Theyre both gray, except for the plum

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What did Helen Keller name her children? Nothing, since she didn't have any.

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What's worse than a dead baby inside a microwave? A microwave inside a dead baby.

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Why does the same anti-jokes pop up over and over again? Because people have no creativity.

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You wanna hear a joke about my penis Nevermind, it would be inappropriate of me to say such a thing.

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what did helen keller say when she dropped a box on her toe. nothing. helen keller cannot speak

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How do you tell if an elephant has been in your refrigerator? You find someone you trust and say "an elephant has been in my refrigerator".

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Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Um no horses are overrated.

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OMG guess what she just told me!! idk......im deaf.

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what did the left eye say to the right eye? "eye" see you

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What's the difference between a tube of toothpaste and Youtube? If you squeeze a tube of toothpaste then toothpaste comes out. You cannot squeeze Youtube because it is a popular video sharing website. Even if you could squeeze it, no toothpaste would come out..

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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After being told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, he walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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