Why did the boy sharpen his pencil it was dull

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a dog

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How many Lepers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? People with leprosy should not be doing general house keeping.

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why did the kid drop his ice cream? because he got ran over by a bus! (not a original, just funny)

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Why was the duck in jail? For Smoking...Quack!!

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Why was jimmy crying? He had a frog stapled to his face

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What do you call a black man in a Police car? A Police Officer

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Why did the Jew rob the bank? -He was a criminal.

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How do you get a clown to stop smiling? Hit him with an ax.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. So was my son after I beat him to death.

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knock knock whose there? suck my a s s barf

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A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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How do you get 100 people in one car. You can't.

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How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? 0. There are no lights at Auschwitz.

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oh hiya come in

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A man walks into a bar and says "ow"; he stepped on a nail sticking up through one of the floorboards. He then sues the bartender for a large sum of money because of the injury he sustained, and causes the bartender to lose everything he owns in order to pay off his debt.

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Q. How many people use MySpace? A. Pfft who uses MySpace

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 has been charged on 3 accounts of 2nd degrees murder and 6 fears for his life.

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What has four wheels and smells like an asshole? YOU.

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potato farming

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A Mime travels to Africa for a vacation. He meets a Zebra in his travels and the Zebra says "Hey we both are wearing black and white stripes!" The Mime did not understand the Zebra because he cannot talk his language so he continues on with his vacation.

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sky's the limit said the tree a.w. j.p.

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What did tarzan say when he saw the elephants? Here come the elephants

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Why did the american block the road? Because he just ate at Mc donalds.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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