a drunk man got 3 beers and a 5 whiskys

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats pink and silver and runs into walls? A baby with forks in its eyes. Whats green and silver and sits in a corner? The same baby three weeks later.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

why is the sky blue? because your mother blocked your computer to meatspin.com

thumb_up thumb_down -20

want to no whats funny what your mom

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How do Chinese people get their names? From their parents.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

The battle of Troy lasted approximatley nine years.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what do u get when you cross a monkey, a sock and wheels? A: a sock monkey. I was kidding about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A black person and a white person decide to have a race. Who won? The white person Don't be a racist.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Jesus may have walked on water, but Stephen Hawking runs on batteries.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Nero Octavios reporting, so far all of our sectors worldwide excluding Spain, Italy and Ground Zero are secure, Nero Augustus is severely wounded but will make it, and despite the our intel Necrissa Angelo is alive and well. We have one single worry though Nero7 the brunt force of the terror attack was large and powerful, yet resistance was incredibly light when we went for the counter-strike, too light, we might have to ready ourselves for some sort of reprisal here.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How do you get santa to stop delivering presents? Kill your parents.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What is worse than Justin Bieber? Well, 1. Deforestation 2. Hurricanes 3. Diabetes 4. Mass Murder ....and probably much more.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did Prius driver go to jail? Because he ran over someone and then fled the scene of the crime (at 11 mph)

thumb_up thumb_down -25

why is 6 afraid of 7 ? because 7 is black.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

In Soviet Russia, the government kills with famine and genocide.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says "Well, it's a long story but I tell you. You see, one day I was walking along the beach and I found a dusty old lamp. I rubbed the lamp and a big magic genie appeared. He told me I could have 3 wishes." The horse continues: "So I told the genie I wish I had a 10 billion dollars. I checked my bank account and sure enough it came true. My second wish was I wished for a beautiful wife. Suddenly a light came from the sky like an angel falling and I saw a beautiful woman and fell in love with her." The bartender says to the horse "Let me guess, so for your third wish, did you wish you were a horse with a long face?" The horse says "No that's not what I wished for." The bartender asks "What was your third wish?" The horse says "Well you won't believe me but I wished I was a bartender pretending to talk to a horse about some genie granting him wishes." After about 30 minutes of arguing with himself, other employees at the bar had had enough of the bartender talking to himself and called psychiatric personnel to escort the bartender to the mental hospital as his schizophrenia is getting worse.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -5,099

Q. What did the buddhist monk say to the hotdog vendor? A. "I'd like a hotdog, please."

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the mute girl say to the other mute girl?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man walks into a bra. Bra kills him...

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the mexican say to the other mexican? Lets go get some tacos.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Some parents named their sons: Who, What and Where. Many people were left confused as to the couple's decision, and some remarked that the sons would likely get picked on in their early school years.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's black and white and eats like horse? A zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops