A tree falls over on an old woman. Mysteriously, the woman lifts the tree up and walks away. A man is amazed by this, so he goes and asks the woman how she managed to lift the whole tree. She tells the man that he is an idiot an walks away. Later inspecting the tree, he realizes it is a small sapling weighing no less than 10 pounds

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A boy goes into a Bakery and asks for a loaf of bread, the baker asks him if he wants a white loaf or a Wholemeal loaf, the boy replies, "it doesn't matter i have my bike outside"

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Knock Knock Come in

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The economy.

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I once saw a picture of a man who was bloodily murdered with his testicles replacing his eyes. then i had a nightmare, that was completely unrelated

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Justin Bieber

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a mexican and a black guy are sitting in a car, who's driving? the police

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What's the best way to win a race? Run faster than all other participants.

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Not lying Red, I have my contacts, I am a "facilitator", I pull strings for my employers, and sure the FBI has me on their files, after all we have cooperated with them. Not because I wanted to, but because its my job, and it helps me use the best of my abilities and limited education (I am technically an educated lawyer, and not an agent).

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You can't choose your family, so choose someone else's.

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Whats green, lies in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs? A girl scout that got hit by a car

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What's worse than the holocaust? nothing it was a terrible act in history

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well the duck walked up to a lemonade stand, and he said to the man, running the stand "quack" then went on its way

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Why would you call a child douche bag? Cause they're sterile

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What's worst then leaving a public toilet when you just took a shit and the toilet is now clogged Realising that the maid was waiting for you to get out to clean the toilet...

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Why was the Jew so happy? He had a good day

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Jamie Stegman was dead. LOL

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To look at the most interesting man in the world.

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Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other, 'Have you heard about this mad cow disease?' and the other says 'Good thing we're penguins.'

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A horse walks into a bar. He ordered some fries.

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Why couldn't the kitten drink from its water bowl? Its face was stapled to the floor.

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Women, "Did just pinch my ass!?" Man, "Yes." Women, "Oh, alright then."

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a short man asked a tall man "hey hows the weather up there"? the tall man couldnt answer cause he was sucked up by a tornado that missed the short man

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why did the grandpa drop his big mak??? Because an army tank hit him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops