What's spotty, can be found everywhere and is largely unpopular? Nothing.

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? - - - A: Nothing. If it is red all over, then it is not black and white.

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Why was Adam sad? His wife found him cheating with several women which led to a lengthy and messy divorce and him losing custody of his two children and his house.

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Q: What were Peter's emotions after he bought his $2 million house? A: None, in fact he has no home, family and anyone to help him. his leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

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Why didn't the cheese buy a house plant? Cheese is nonliving and therefore cannot earn money, thus preventing cheese from buying houseplants.

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What's the difference between a ginger and a brick? Bricks get laid

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

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knock knock... whos there? NOT BIN LADEN!

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 has AIDS.

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Ask me if i'm a serial killer Are you a serial killer? Yes and I killed your family

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ROSES ARE RED, VIOLETS ARE BLUE, WITHOUT MY HEART I CANNOT LOVE YOU

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womens rights

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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What did the potato say to the man It said nothing it is a potato

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Three guys are in the desert. They find a lamp, they rub it, and a genie appears. The genie says "I'll grant each of you a wish." So the first guy says "I want to return to my family in my native country." The genie snaps his fingers, and the guy disappears. The second guy says "I want to live in Hollywood, be famous and rich, and have dozens of girls around me." The genie snaps his fingers, and the guy disappears. The third guy says "I want to go to Hawaii." The genie snaps his fingers, and the guy disappears. So all three guys end up being happy.

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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Luke, I am your father... Uh... Okay, thats chill, so uh, is my last name Vader or somthing? No son, my name is Anakin Skyw... NOOOOOOOOOOO THATS IMPOSSIBLE!

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What was the last thing the boy heard before he was hit by the school bus? Nothing. He was deaf.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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what do you say to a girl dog crying??? shut up bitch...

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Yo mama so fat that she probably has a thyroid problem.

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Q: What do you call a man with a spade in his head? A: An ambulance.

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What's hiding in Redfoo (from LMFAO)'s afro? Nobody knows...

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what's the difference between me and callum ? a couple of miles.... and id like to keep it that way

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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