Why did the little girl cry? Because she had just witnessed the slaughter of her entire family and friends in front of her eye, leaving her not only peerless and alone, but also with the mental scars which come with witnessing such a harrowing ordeal.

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A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender to give him any drink. The bartender gives him the drink and the customer instantly dies. Another person in the bar asked the bartender what dring did you give him. He answered back.....poison

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Whats the difference between a giraffe and an elephant. Ones a giraffe and ones and elephant

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A young man spent his summer as an intern at a school. He eventually became a real estate agent but it was a pretty cool experience.

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How do you make asian ice cream you mix it with a textbook

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Your mother is so large she finds it difficult to fit into regular sized clothing

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A black man and a white man get married... Trick question, since gay marriage is illegal in the United States, the men did not get married, and they later both died alone.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares

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Why was Harry arrested? Because he stabbed multiple children.

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing, hes Jewish.

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What's worse than tieing a baby to a moving fan? Stopping it with a shovel

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Where do dizzy cows go? In circles...

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A 8 year old kid and his dad are having quality time at the park,and relax at a nearby picnic bench after a thrilling game of tag."I love you." says the son. The father about to respond,promptly gets shot by 3 stray military issue assault rifle bullets that came from a heated dispute about a stolen car that got way out of hand. He dies,and the kid ran crying a long distance away. After he gets himself in a dark alley with nobody else around he laughs,and mutters "The plan went perfectly!" He pulls out a detonator and presses it. The White House,Washington Monument,and several nuclear power plants across the continental United States blow up,killing millions of people.The child,also in possession of nuclear bombs, holds the entire world hostage and becomes ruler of the entire planet Earth. Fin.

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Q:Whats the difference between a black man and a park bench? A: A park bench can support a family.

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Why is the country in a national deficit? Because the Illuminati want to control all human beings in a socialist new world order.

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Knock knock Who's there Fookie Fookie Who? Fook you too

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Justin Beiber

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whats wosre than stubbing your toe? being lost on a desert island being raped

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what do you call a fat black cat and a skinny white dog? Freckles and Spot

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Sex positions (and other related things), never took off... 1. The 96 2. The mission (impossible) position. 3. The Tangoers party (swingers? The fack is that?) 4.Nasal. 5. Bed waltz (requires amazing dancing skills and multitasking, now they just call everything for "bed waltz" to show off) 6.Blind Date take uno (hard to find two blind people and make sure they meet each other and have a good time by themselves). 7. GILFS take one (I mean there could be many hot grandmas out there, but "Guns Id Like For Shooting", was not too popular due accidents)

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What do you call an Asian guy doing homework? A student

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Q. What do mummies do when they run out of toilet paper? A. Nothing - they're dead and inanimate.

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Q: What did Mr. Spoke say when Captain Kirk was raping him? A: "Ouch! Ouch! Captain, this is so illogical!"

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How do you kill a blonde? you shoot her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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