Why does a ginger have no friends? Because it is a non sentient horizontal stem used for seasoning food, and thus incapable of forming complex social and emotional bonds with conscious organisms.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Dear Diary, I am down to my last drops of water, I'm going to die soon. Wait, a man is offering me some water! Theres still hope, wait he said sike and ran off. I'm going to die alone.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How many zombies can you kill at once? about one or two unless your Chuck Norris with unlimited powers.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

You really need some help in spelling the word GOD... Anyway, none of your fucking business.I am a child for this scenario only so... Moral: LET THAT CHILD ALONE!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? I dont have a ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What kind of martial arts does the Jewish man practice? Kung-Fu

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why was the little girl crying? because i raped her.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why are girls large and round? Because they are raised by wild packs of oompa loompas.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/popular/a-paper-cut-is-a-trees-last-revenge

thumb_up thumb_down +22

1st guy: Wanna hear a joke? 2nd guy: Yeah sure. 1st guy: Me too.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Hey can you turn Tmartn upI can't hear him

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why was the little boy crying? Because a stranger shoved explosives up his butthole.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q: How do you make a baby cry? A: Throw a brick at it.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How did little Timmy die? He was ripped to shreds by a violent badger.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A bold man said "well, here goes nothing!" Moments later, thats what happened

thumb_up thumb_down -9

a man walked into a bar "ouch"

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Why was the asain studing? Because he had a 59 in math and needed a C to tay on the footbal team.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

who smells? •Liam

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was the boy sad? because the serotonin level in his brain was significantly lower than normal.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Come in" "Come in who?"

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Roses are brown, Violets are brown, Tulips are brown, I need to stop working on my flower garden after fisting a cows butthole.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what do u call a gay guy? Marlin Stein and Bryan Carboni

thumb_up thumb_down -26

among liedbtt is my Captcha code

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops