Roses are red violets are blue i have HIV you should probably get yourself checked...

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Who has big eyes, big ears, and a big mouth? The witness I'm about to murder so he cannot testify against me. Wish me luck.

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Yo momma's so ugly, she decided to get plastic surgery and now has much higher self-esteem.

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Why did the runner stop farting in the middle of his run? He ran out of gas.

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A man is standing on the street corner waiting for the bus. As it pulls up he steps on and pays his fare while he whistles to his iPod.

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If file gives you melons, you might be dyslexic

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John Hammond from 'Jurassic Park' looks like KFC's Colonel Sanders. Which is ironic, since chickens are descended from dinosaurs...

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Did the owl ever reach the middle of the tootsie pop? Yes. Dreams do come true

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how do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Violets are red. Roses are blue. I am drunk, and i'm about to spew.

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If life hands you lemons you're probably hallucinating

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a woman leaves the kitchen.......

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What happened to the mentaly retarted gentleman walking down the street? Nothing bad. He might a very fine woman and the went to dinner shortly after.

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There was once a little boy... Boy: Daddy, I am so proud of you that when I grow up I want to be just like you! God: Son how dareth thou! That is a horribleth and shameful wish! I just called the adoption agency thy areth noteth my... er.. sonneth anymoreth! NOW GO TO HELL! Oh, and you get same powers as I by the way, just for Good measure or something, except I can destroy you whenever I want, I just do not want to because your evil will hopefully make me look good in comparison after I rid the world of the first testament anyways :P Boy: Yay? :( Where is hell by the way? Moral: That little boy grew up to become... SUPERMAN! While Satan never discovered what hell was since its a concept added by corrupt priests around the 1700`s in order to scare people into following their God instead.

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Why can't black people swim? Many of them can. It's racist to assume that.

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if u like this i wont pay you a dollar

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Vagina (Note: If you are gay just move on by.)

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knock knock? who's there? ivan ivan who? ivan. i want you to apologize for tooking their jobs the other day i said ivan who? i dont have a middle or last name

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What's worse than an hours detention? Gettind raped by a horse anally.

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What do you get when you cross a gay man with a chainsaw? A decapitated homosexual.

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What's worse than finding a dead baby in a trash can? -Finding a dead baby in 5 trash cans

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When life hands you lemons, Squeeze them in the eyes of children

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What do you call a hispanic and black man flying a plane? A pilot and his co-pilot.

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Why did the man go bald? He had cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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