What would Ronald Reagan say if he was alive today? Nice to meet you my name is Ronald Reagan

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Q: Hey, wanna hear a joke? A: Sure! Q: Alright, cool. *leaves*

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Knock Knock Who's there? Hodor

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Whats a lion in Antartica? . Dead

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Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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How do you make a clown cry? You hit them with an axe

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What do you call a Chinese person with a computer for a head? Dead because it is impossible for your heart to function with out a brain

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What happened to the boy that got hit by a bus? He was by a 2nd bus, by which he felt no pain because the first bus crushed his lungs and skull causing suffocation and profuse hemorraging.

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The only time your mother was ever considered "hot" was at her cremation.

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An Amish man walks into a bar. He then orders a non-alcoholic beverage due to the temperance practices of the Amish faith.

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What is a ghost's favorite appetizer? Ghosts aren't real.

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johnny goes to the shops asks the lady at the counter, can i go home The Lady says ..... Buy one get one free

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what starts with b and ends with itch pickle

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There is a mountain and there are three men, One is asian and the two others are black and white. "This is for my people!" Said the asian man when he was falling for his death. "This is for my people!" Yelled the african american. Then he takes the American man and throws him off the mountain

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An English man, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They each buy a pint and talk about their day.

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Amedeo Clemente Modigliani was an Italian artist who worked mainly in France. Primarily a figurative artist, he became known for paintings and sculptures in a modern style characterized by mask-like faces and elongation of form. He died in Paris of tubercular meningitis, exacerbated by poverty, overwork, and addiction to alcohol and narcotics.

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Q:Why do black people wear fitted caps? A: So pigeons don't shit on their lips.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the farmer cross the road? To pick up the dead chicken

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Q: What's different about a boy and a girl? A: Nothing. There used to be a notable difference but nowadays you have to strain in order to tell them apart.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? ... Well, do you know or not?

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Why did the pencil break? A Viking destroyed it with his beard.

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Hitler was Jewish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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