Yo mama is so skinny, when she sits around the house, she sits comfortably in every chair. - Stephen Colbert

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What's Chris Benoit up to? Just hangin' with his family

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How many unicorns does it take to change a light bulb? 17. 11 if its Tuesday.

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There were three soap salesmen in a bar. They were comparing how good they were at selling their wares. "I'm so good that I sell 60% of my soap bars each day," says the first salesman, bragging. The second one wasn't to be outdone. "I'm so good that I sell 80% of my soap bars," he declared. The last salesmen, who, up to the moment had been relatively quiet, suddenly said in a calm and collected manner, "Oh that's nothing. I'm so good that I sell all of my soap bars each day."

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Cancer. Super Cancer.

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Whats worse than a little kid falling. Him getting vigorously raped by his father every night.

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What did one guy say to the other guy?? Well he just hi but hi backwards is ih and that reminded him of his days in Nahm because that's what his Sargent said and that reminded him of ice-cream because his Sargent smelled like ice-cream and that reminded him of the song that the ice-cream played which reminded him of Disney world which reminded him of a priest raping little boys which mad him laugh because that reminded him of a Jew picking up a penny which reminded him of Osama be shot in the f**k**g face and that reminded him to say how are you to the other guy.

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A duck walk into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender hands him a glass and the duck drinks it. After finishing his drink he ruminates about how drowning his misery with booze won't solve a thing in his life. He decided he'll call his ex-wife and apologize and goes back home.

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A man walks into a bar... and watches the Monday Night Football game with his pals.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Q: How do you stop a rhino from charging? A: Shoot it.

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how many dead babies can you fit into a bath tub i dont know i didnt get the chance to fill it up yet

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Knock knock. who's there? Alex. GO AWAY!!!

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Two women are sitting on a park bench, minding their own business, saying nothing.

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Roses are cars, violets are rude, this poem makes no sense, neither do you

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When life gives you limes....... first you have some problem and second u throw them at people

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Knock knock Who's There? (It was a ding dong ditch. Or a knock knock ditch. What ever.)

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I had sex with the Earth, and out came global warming...Imagine what will happen if i had sex with Obama?

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What's wrong with you? I have no idea.

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what did the cancer patient get for christmas. -an amputation. Luckily, he was cured of cancer due to the amputation, but died 3 days later in a tragic car accident

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire? Lawyers exist, are alive and despite all claims to the contrary, can withstand sunlight, garlic and the sign of the cross. They also have reflections and whilst they may eat black pudding from time to time they don't depend on blood as a source of nutrition.

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What did the Liver say to the Heart? Nothing, Organs can't talk

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What's the difference between 9/11 and Jenga? The World Trade Center wasn't ruined by clumsiness.

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Whats the difference between an American and a Frenchman? The language they speak.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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