What do you call a girl with no legs? Disabled.

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The worst part of waking up, Is no Folgers in your cup.

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Izzy and Zayn Malick got married. Then Zayn asked for a divorce due to their age difference..

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What do you get when you cross sodium citrate, citric acid, benzyl alcohol, monoethanolamine, sodium benzoate, gylcol disterate, FD&C Yellow #5, ammonium lauryl sulfate, methylisothiazolinone, fragrances/perfumes, FD&C Blue #1, sodium chloride, zinc pyrithione, methylchloroisothiazolinone, ammonium xylenesulfonate, ammonium laureth sulfate, cetyl alcohol, cocamide, guar hydropropyltrimonium chloride, 1-Decene, homopolymer, hydrogenated, trimethylolpropane tricaprylate and water? Head & Shoulders Dandruff Shampoo for Fine-Oily Hair

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Why did the first squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure. Why did Bobby fall off his bike? He was hit by 4 squirrels Why did bobby die? He was hit by a bus

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What did the one bagpiper say to the other? Nothing, one cannot speak while playing the bagpipes.

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What is an offensive way to refer to black people from the time of the Flint Stones? Niggers

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How do you kill a blond wearing a hat? Shoot her in the face.

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Why did the little boy want to sleep with his parents in their bed on the only night in weeks they'd planned to have sex? His bedroom was on fire.

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What's more exiting than watching football Escaping through the underground railroad

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the the wheels.

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Why did the magician die when he tried to escape from the handcuffs underwater? Because he drowned and failed his magic trick.

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What do you call a black man and an Asian at a school? Two hard-working, dedicated teachers.

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What did Tim say about his wife cheating on him with his best friend's wife? He ran to R Kelly and got peed on.

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What's worse than being a ginger? Being a soulless ginger

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why did the chicken cross the road? it was in a refrigerated freight truck en-route to its destination.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house Knock Knock, Who's There The Chicken

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Why can't Kim and Arnold get childern ? because they are 2 stones.

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What does a man like. food.

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I've lost my electron!! Are you sure? Yes! I'm Positive!

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Why doesn't the black man have a job? He's working on his masters degree.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Not because she had no arms, but because she just had no hands.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, if the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are due to transportation issues. (What if there are no replacement light bulbs in the house, and the nearest store was 10 miles away? It would be ridiculous to expect someone to walk twenty miles to replace a light bulb) In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

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Im good at other things... ...like giving handshakes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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