why couldn't the little girl play on the swing? Matty Russel was chasing her

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What do you do to someone you hate very much? You kill them.

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? Nothing

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In Soviet Russia you drive car, because a car driving you would be screwed up.

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So there are two skunks in a bath tub. One of the skunks says to the other, "Would you please pass the soap?", and the other skunk says, "What do you think I am, a talking radio?!"

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What do a fish and an eagle have in common? They both live underwater aside from the eagle.

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What do you call a kid with no friends? ....a Sandy Hook survivor

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What do you call a girl with 1 eye and 3 arms... Chernobyl.

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Guest-knock knock (silence) Guest-hello is anyone there? no go away Guest-looks like there is no one here lets leave

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Jokes are dumb. Stories are better. Did you ever hear the story of the blind man who walked into the fish market and said, "Evenin' ladies!"?

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the batmobile? Robin, get in the batmobile

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What is the saddest color? Red because his family recently was killed

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A man gets a paternity test. It's better than beating his wife senseless due to his own insecurity.

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What happened when barba opened the coca cola? The cap flew off and hit the fence then the train then the moon then the pillow then the sun then the pole and the pole fell and hit the baseball and the cap landed on the floor... Then my turtle died

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a skank.

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What did the the girl say to the deaf boy after he asked her out? He doesn't know

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did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he's all right now

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Why did the girl buy wine? She was hosting a party for four of her closest friends.

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You have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars. You both have the same amount of money.

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What is pink, red and silver and crawls into walls? A baby with forks in it's eyes

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Q. whats piggy called A. Patrick gearthey

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What did the blind kid get for Christmas? Same ones he got last year.

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why is kool-aid so sweet? Because it contains sugar

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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