What's Arabs' cutlery? Bread

what has one ear, one leg, one eye, one arm, and is Jewish half a Jew

How are a grape and a duck alike? They're both purple... except for the duck.

^ That's not even funny ^

What do you call a cheese that's not yours? Cheese

Too tired to come up with the definition, by the way, it was I that came up with the code system you guys use, so I kinda knew long ago that you lied to me when you said you do not use passwords,

If pro- is good or favored and con- is bad, then why do people favor the constitution and stay away from prostitution?

What's funnier than a joke book? 2 joke books.

How do you confuse Helen Keller? You don't. She's dead.

You can eat a pie. You can eat a chicken. But you cannot eat a human being because that would be called cannibalism and cannibalism is a felony that can give the government a right to hold you in an international detainment facility for up to 40 years.

Q: Why should you never let Jerry Sandusky babysit your children? A: Because, in November of 2011, Sandusky was arrested and charged with 40 counts of sexual abuse of young boys over a 15-year period. A man with this type of background does not seem like a an ideal choice for a babysitter.

Lol, first of all all I watched was something called Chobits many years ago, and while I know what hentai is, I cant say I watch that a lot or not really at all no... A peek but, its just too weird for me, they all look like cute kids with deformed bodies or something. What? You into Nerds now? Why cant I just wear my contacts and look somewhat less alien?

What did the korean say to the other korean. I don't know i dont speak korean.

Q: John gets attacked with a chainsaw, how many stitches does he get? A: None, Hes dead jim

What do you call a black man who lands on the moon? An astronaut...f*cking racist.

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? -I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

whats long, hard, and full of semen? A submarine

so a black guy goes to a hot dog eating contest how many does he eat? enough to win.

Why was the Pizza Delivery boy crying? He was sad.

What's the difference between an apple and a baby. An apple is a fruit. A baby is a human being.

The awkward moment when you notice its 2012 and we're all gonna die, so you buy and elephant and name him John.

how many indians does it take to screw in a light bulb? one if it can reach 2 if it's high.One to screw in the bulb the other to hold the ladder.

why did the boy call the girl a bitch? Because she was beautiful.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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