- Anti Joke

Sloths

Q: What do you call a bathtub? A: A bathtub

people can be soooo loud!!!!!!! sooo loud that they wake up helen keller!!!!!!

Why did the Egyptian woman not manage to work the washing machine? The instructions were in English.

How do you fit three gay men on a stool? You don't, that would be very uncomfortable.

How did the man with no arms or legs cross the street? He didn't.

Whats worse than a clock with no hands? Your mom with cancer.

What do 69 and carpets have in common ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????1?2?3?4?5?6?7?8?9?0?????????#???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????©®™????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? Nothing

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead...

2 guys walk into a bar the first gys says id like a beer the second guy says me to

How many Coldplay members can you fit in a car? All of them, the standard car has four seats or more. Coldplay has 4 members so it makes perfect logical sense

How do you get a clown to stop smiling? Hit him with an ax.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it all began in 1807 when a 7 foot rooster gave birth to a chicken on the sidewalk while purchasing ice cream. Scientists have been intrigued so they went into study with it and won the Nobel prize. This somehow persuaded them to lure the chicken over to the other side by using a lollipop. They threw the lollipop as the chicken crossed the road, hit it in the eye, the chicken spazzed out, jumped in front of a car, teleported to London, and is now a gynecologist.

I'm gay. Great me too.

What's funnier than 24? 25.

HITLER IS SO SEXY I WOULD PAY A MILLION DOLLARS TO HAVE SEX WITH HIS DEAD HOT BODY WHENEVER I THINK ABOUT HIM I SPRAY MY SEMEN ALL OVER MY JEWISH SLAVES YUMMY HITLER JUST MAKES ME WANT TO BITE HIS ROTTING PENIS OFF AND FORCE IT IN THE EYE SOCKET OF A JEWISH PERSON AND THEN I CUM IN HIS EYESOCKET

Your momma is so fat that when she steps on the scale it says 300 lbs.

Q #1: Why did Sally fall off the swings? A #1: She has no arms. Q #2: Knock Knock Who's There? Not Sally.

Q:what do you call a black man with blonde hair flying a plane? A: A pilot

What happened to the blonde that died her hair brown? Her hair turned brown.

How do you make a businessman cry? Shoot him in the kneecaps.

What did the little boy say before he succumbed to cancer? Nothing. It was too painful.

A dentist, a librarian, a construction worker, a gynecologist, a zookeeper, a shoemaker, a terrorist, a politician, a cyclist, a truck driver, a kangaroo, a Mexican, a blonde, a Jewish black guy, a Honda Civic, a monkey, a penguin, an FBI agent, a stock broker, a president of a foreign country, a CEO of a very wealthy company regarding AIDS, a founder of one of top downloaded apps in the market, a chief executive, a cook, a waitress, a priest, a nun, a little boy, a fairy, a dinosaur, and a skeleton walks into a bar. There's no punchline.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Your mom.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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