Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a dead baby joke? Dead baby jokes aren't funny.

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Your adopted

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Why do black people eat at KFC? Because KFC serves good food at reasonable prices.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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What Happened to the man with no arms? Nothing, he continued his life with his daily routine of using his feet to accomplish his goals that day.

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I couldn't afford a hair cut... So i contracted cancer.

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what do call a dead dog in between two planks of wood? big sandwhich.

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Why do women live longer? Once their sexual and metabolistic hormones are moleculy different from men's, their metabolism is different and act on different organs and vice-versa. Therefore, they live longer. Still, in a worldwide average, more men born than women.

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Why was the mom sad cause she had an abortion

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What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's orange and sticky? An orange. What's red and sticky? My stool - is that normal?

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? That depends on what his name is.

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What do a fish and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them is a police officer.

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Why did the black man jump off a cliff? He's been emotionally unstable ever since he witnessed the brutal murder of his parents as a child and could no longer live with himself, so he decided to commit suicide.

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Robin, get in the car, please.

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A classic (apologies if it's been posted before): A woman was riding the bus home after a day of shopping. Suddenly she jumped up, shouting "may aspirins! My aspirins!" The driver replied: "You probably left them on the counter at the drugstore."

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why did you poop because you are a poop

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why was the old man cold? ...WHY?

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Why couldn't Lucy get her driver's license? Because she has Cerebral Palsy!

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What happened to the boy with cancer? He died

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Q: how do you tame a dingo? A: Feed it babies

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What has 8 legs and 1 eye? 2 chairs and half a fish.

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Santa Claus is so hairy he need to shave more often.

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What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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