so a man walks into a bar *pint of bud there please

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Guy A walks into a bar and sits down beside guy B, they quickly spark up a quick conversation about golf, Guy B says "i hit the ball so hard, it soared 200 yards", Guy A quickly responds by saying "I hit your mom so hard!" Guy B responds "the jokes on you, my mom has herpes"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did one alligator say to the other alligator? Ear

thumb_up thumb_down +21

When life gives you melons, you know you're dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

so three men walk into a bar and one is a priest.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the orange cross half way across the road Because it ran out of juice

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did Death say to Life? Go die.

thumb_up thumb_down -144

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? To go to work. And be sexually harassed. For 70 cents on the dollar.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you say to a disabled man in a lift? Have a nice day.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a bird on the beach? A seagull.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Cinema summer shits coming this year! Reboot edition ONE! Rocky BarBoler a older man with dreams of becoming a true boxing champion!... but will he succeed against the champion Apollo thirteen? Watch ROCKY To find out. Starring Mike Tyson as Rocky, and Justin Bieber as Apollo thirteen (Do I need remind you Rocky lost in his first movie?, Well that one is for you "Beleibers" because in the end you are misguided cuties.. most way to young for me, but you are as cute as you are silly). Moral: Loves cute girls... especially those over 16... legal age here... good luck calling us all pedophiles... They mature fast here, "beliebe" me, twelve year olds have fully grown boobs... what did you think I meant by cute? RAWR! Look but no touch is a okay for me mama Luigi. I just tend to call me once they turn 16...

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you get if you cross a river with a cat? Wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's black and has a beary taste? A black bear.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why do they censor everything on here? Because **** **** ******* *** ***** *****.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? About 4:30, unless he's running late, stuck in traffic, had to get gas.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A horse walks into a bar, the barman says why the long face, the horse says, my dad died this morning.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How do you make a great cake? Bett Crocker books

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Math Quiz! If sally was born on September 18th, 1997, how old will she be on her birthday? Leave your answers on her grave tomorrow.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

You want to know something bad? A bag of dead babies. You wanna know something worse? One was still alive. You wanna know something even worse? He ate his way out. You wanna know something even worse? He went back for seconds.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats worse than scraping your elbow and knee? Beheading and disembowlment.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How many calories are in a bag of Fritos? 160 calories.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A man begged for forgiveness, for a sin commited Jesus forgave him, Jesus loves you

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops