What's white and sticky? A sticky polar bear.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did Soviet children dream about? Communism.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the flower say to it's friends? I want to kill a Christmas tree.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

2 guys walk into a bar, a third guy carefully ducks under it

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down -20

If life gives you lemons, get some seeds from them and plant them. Then in a few years you'll have a lemon tree. Then take some lemons off that tree and throw them at people saying "Here's your stupid lemons, people".

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call your female dog? Your bitch

thumb_up thumb_down -2

womens rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a guy who answers your door Whatever his name his

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Have you seen Stevie Wonder lately? No? Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

A leper sees that a woman has dropped a bag of groceries on the sidewalk. "Hey ma'am, can I give you a HAND?" asks the leper. "No thank you, sir. I can manage." replies the woman. "That's a relief," laughs the leper, shyly. "I am quite weak due to leprocy."

thumb_up thumb_down +17

TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL! Cant we just dine at McDonalds? ITS THE SAME THING! Moral: Personally I love the taste of cardboard meat...

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did one Lacrosse player say to the other? Let's touch shafts

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What is brown and sticky. Hot chocolate.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Whats worse than your camera not working? getting hit by a fridge during the Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A zebra dies and goes to animal heaven. All the animals around him are trotting, flying, jumping, each according to its own species, in the kind of bliss that only eternity can bring. But the zebra is not impressed and mopes through heaven's green fields. A giraffe notices his languid stupor and asks, "Why so glum, pal?" The zebra mournfully replies, "All my life I've wondered if I was black with white stripes or white with black stripes." The giraffe, hoping to get the zebra to some answers as quickly as possible, suggests, "Why not go as God?" The zebra, somewhat taken aback by the notion that God might give him an audience, replies, "Oh, I can do that?" The giraffe says, "Sure, I'll show you the way!" The giraffe leads the zebra to a great tabernacle of gold and points the way up a long stairway of diamond. The zebra follows the stairs up to two great ivory doors. But no matter what he tried, the zebra couldn't get the door open. The only animals that could open the door for him would be the primates because of their opposable digits, but the zebra wasn't much of a social animal, so he didn't have any friends. He spent eternity with no answer to his question.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A Christian and an Atheist are in a bar, the Christian turns to the Atheist and says "If you don't believe in god you will go to hell." The Atheist replies "Your Mom doesn't believe in god." And then turns around to order another drink.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the boy drop the ice cream? So that it would melt and he could dip his dick into it and his mom could lick it off.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? One, although depending on how high the light in question is and where it's located she may need someone to help hold a ladder for her, if it's particularly unsteady.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you get if you throw a banana at the wall? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A black man, a mexican, and a christain are on an island. There are also many other people on the island, since all of North America and South America is one giant land mass.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Me Neither.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

roses are brown violets are brown who shit on my garden?

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops