Q:why was the man on a two seated bycicle by himself? A:his wife had recently died and he wasn't ready to let go

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the farmer say to the cow that asked for food? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I have a dig bick . . . . . You have a dirty mind.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are red. Violets are blue. This next line doesn't rhyme. Nor does this one. This isn't a very good poem.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

BTMG JOAN!"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TOP OF THE MORNING FREE MEAT NO SANTA THIS YEAR BONE FOUNDATIONS MOUNTNORRIS WHY IS THAT BAG MOVING?????????? MR MO MOLESTOR S H I T STAINS VEGETABLE GUN OPERATION SBB OPERATION SBB (THE AFTERMATH) #SL #NSL TIN SCHACK SKI LIFT MILK STAINS NATHAN: 5 - SEATS: 0 GREEK LETTER STU THE SO

thumb_up thumb_down -24

two scientists walk into a bar. one says, "i want h2o." the other says, "i want h2o too." the bartender gives them both water and nobody dies because he is not irresponsible enough to give someone concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you get a clown out of a tree? Shoot him in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

I painted my dog to look like pizza. Someone ate him. It was my mom.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whats pink and looked like an angry bulldog? Your moms vagina last night

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Are you 9/11 because i would like you to destroy my tower.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are brown. Violets are brown. It's the middle of winter. Flowers look like poop.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's the difference between an Asian bookkeeper and a Jewish dog? This isn't a joke, it's an assignment for school, I need to write a 3 page paper on this. Any ideas?

thumb_up thumb_down

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +442

antonis sister is mighty fine

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why did the small boy drop his ice cream ? because he has no hands

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did Stephen Hawking say to the prostitute? A several garbled and mostly inaudible comment that she could not understand.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why was the women not in the kitchen? Because she was probably doing something else

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a medical student who finishes last in his class? Doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

So I showed my friend my blind dog. He said, "Wow I've never seen a blind dog before!" I said, "they havnt seen you either."

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when riding on a roller coaster.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the worst part about eating a dead baby? It's a tie between the smell, the taste, and the depression associated with whatever decline in humanitsy that has brought you to this point in your life. Overall, it's an outright terrible situation.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Teacher: "Kenny, what is the biggest mammal on land?" Kenny: "A stranded whale."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Two Jews, three Nazis, and a black guy go into a bar. Where they have a spirited debate about Canadian football. And leave without coming to any conclusions.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops