A man walks into a bar and sees a large jar filled to the brim with $20 bills. He asks the bartender why there is so much money in the jar, and the bartender tells him that he has a horse in the back of the building, and he has a bet that if someone puts $20 in the jar and can make the horse laugh, then they will win all the money. The man, feeling confident, puts his money into the jar and tries to make the horse laugh. It is a horse, so of course he cannot make it laugh. He leaves, dejectedly, having just wasted 20 of his hard earned dollers.

If polar bears were pink they'd be very easy to find

whats Mario's favorite kind of jeans? Denim, denim, denim.

Two tomatoes are crossing the road. Suddenly one of them gets hit by a car. He goes "AGH!"

Whats the difference between a truck full of babies and a truck full of bowling balls? You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.

Q: Knock, Knock A: To get to the other side.

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? To go to work. And be sexually harassed. For 70 cents on the dollar.

what did your mom say to you? go fuck your self you stupid greedy shit. you start crying later in your bedroom, then your mom comes with a bag full of your fathers semen, and dildos. and forces you to drink the entire bag.

What is black, white and hungry? A woman with a rare skin disorder known as Vitiligo which causes discolourtion of the skins pigment in patches; who is hungry.

What did the little girl with no legs or arms get for Christmas? Cancer. Knock knock? Who's there? Not that little girl.

What's retarded and comes from Hulsberg? Roy Knubben

Have u seen stevie wonders new house? No. Niether has he

Female rights.

-How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? -Probably a decent amount.

Why did the chicken invent a memory ereaser machine? So he could erease everyone's memory so they would stop making chicken jokes

How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

What do a blond and a jar of marmalade have in common? Nothing, they are completely different.

Know what's funny? Not these jokes!

What did the Muslim say to the American? Hi

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Women's rights.

How do you fit 100 dead babies into a box? Put them into a blender.

Whats the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my shoes to step on trampolines.

Two horses, a man with a tall bun, three lesbians, an African woman and another man wearing a clown suit come up to you in your work outfit and shriek:"Happy Casual Friday!" Okay, so maybe this went too far.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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