Whats the difference between a pontiac and a pile of dead babies? I dont have a pontiac in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did little nancy call the police? Because her dad beats her toaster up.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man walks to a baseball game what does he see? Many people

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I wondered why the piano was getting bigger. Then it hit me... I'm sorry I have visual agnosia

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Your mother is so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it read quite a large number. She resolved to live healthier and exercise more.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Your mother's so fat that affects her self esteem.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Guess what I was with your mom last night so I wraped her in foil and put her in the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the turkey was in the oven and all the farm animals thought the chicken could run the errands in his place just fine.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A man walks into a bar. His friend follows him in, but the first man doesn't know he's there. They both order a beer, then a couple strong shots. The first man then notices his friend, and they exchange high-fives. The man's friend says, "Hey, how ya doin?" The first man says, "Okay, I guess, but I forgot the punchline." So the second man orders his friend the strongest drink, and the weakest. He replies, "Me too, Joe. Meeeeee, too."

thumb_up thumb_down +21

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what did the leprosy survivor get for christmas a amputation

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did Madona rub shit on her vagina? Because she was horny.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's worse than losing your phone? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the retarded guy follow the 7 year old? Because he's a stalker.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" The horse says "i have aids."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

YOU

thumb_up thumb_down +10

If a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound? It depends on how sound is defined

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the black kid fail his math test? Because he had down syndrome

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats red but smells like blue paint? Red paint

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's worse than being fat? Being gay

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: A football coach walks into a bank. Why? A: Because one of his players is suffering from terminal cancer and he needs governmental funding for the team to play the big game against their rivals and to win, in hopes the kid will recover. Q: Why did the football coach go into the bank again? A: To receive more money to find a new running back.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How did the blind man cross the road? With the use of a cane and a registered seeing eye dog

thumb_up thumb_down -13

If I had 10 cents for every time a hobo asked for change i still wouldn't give him any money

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops