Why wouldn't Michael J. Fox make a good Sniper? Because he has no military experience.

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Bobby got a new bike there are black kids in bobby's neighborhood bobby doesnt have a new bike anymore

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if you give somebody a dollar and they give you a different dollar you both have a dollar

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3 brothers Mohammed, Ahmed and Saahad were on the 09:25 flight from Tehran to New York. They each only carried a rucksack each and a one way ticket. They are Syrian refugees and their parents are dead.

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Why did the guy crash his car? Because he didn't want to crash his truck.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7. Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

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what is the awesomest of them all? me

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A biology teacher walks into a bar. "Ouch," he says. "I bet I just lost some brain cells. I wonder if any of them were going through mitosis..."

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar, has a few drinks, chats with some fans, and leaves. The very next day, Justin Bieber is out buying groceries.

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How do you kill a blonde? A gun.

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So a bear walks into a bar. Everyone in there goes hysterical with the fright. Two people are killed by it.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A bench is an inanimate object and a Mexican is a human being.

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Two farmers are standing in a field. One says: "It's a bit cold today, don't you think?" The other doesn't reply, because he is trying to work out how to tell the first farmer that his son has just been killed in a road accident.

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A man walks in to a bar and orders a drink. He has been drinking alone every day since his wife an unborn child died in an horrific car accident.

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a man walks into a bar..... the man pulls out a gun and robs the place as he is exiting he bumps into a child the child falls in the street and is crushed by a bus. the bus in an attempt to avoid the child swerves and hits a maternity clinic next to a gas station that promptly explodes. the robber so distraught he trys to shoot himself but the gun misfired and the man was arrested and was raped repeatedly in prison...he now has aids...

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Why was the grandomther crying? She just got pepper sprayed.

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How do you kill Chuck Norris? Shoot him in the face.

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What isyellow and can't swim? a bulldozer

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Guess what?..... I once saw a black man who had a job that wasnt on work release........

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why does pink turn into blue it doesnt you just get hit by a frigde because you cried whe you got shot several times

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Oh my gosh a talking muffin.

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What do you call a depressed nerd who plays WoW. Me....

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Knock knock Who's there? A penguin A penguin who? Just kidding, a penguin could never survive in this climate, I'm mark and was wondering if I could give you an estimate on some new siding

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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