Why couldn't the grandma remember what she did last night? Because she has Alzeihmers and grandmas don't do anything.

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Yep, super duper stressed, all of the time, but how did you know?

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What do you call a man covered with cottoncandy and goes to the store and buys a jar of pickles? George

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Three kids are standing on a corner. They have red hair, blue hair, and green hair respectively. A man asks the kid with red hair "How did you get your hair red?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man then asks the kid with blue hair, "How did you get your hair blue?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man finally asks the kid with green hair, "How did you get your hair green?" The kid wipes his hand across his nose, gathering green slime and replies, "I dyed it."

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Do gingers have souls ? No, Gingers are a myth made up in the 13th centuary to scare little kids.

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A dyslexic Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. He hits his head on it and is rushed to the hospital,only to discover the floor drenched in triceratops shit.

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There's a American, Mexican, and a Canadian stranded in the desert. They couldn't find any food, water, and shelter. They were all really hungry and thirsty. Later that day the Mexican dies from a very bad infection on his neck.

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How did the happy clown die? Testicular Cancer.

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How are a grape and a duck alike? They're both purple... except for the duck.

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Did you hear about the Polish couple taking selfies while on vacation in Portugal? They fell off a cliff and died in front of their children. True story.

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A woman gets in her car to drive.

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What does a ghost get when he watches pornography? A boner

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What is the difference between men and women? Several physical functions such has the reproductive systems, bone structure, and voice pitch.

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I've got a tip for the ladies. Or if you like I can put the whole thing

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What did Bob say at Fred's house? "I know where Fred lives."

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So an African, Asian, and White man walk into a bar, what do they all have in common? Believe it or not, they all liked cantaloupe.

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Why "Is Bart Simpson Yellow Its The Only Crayon The Illustrator had

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how do you make lady gaga cry you poke here face then rape here.

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What is wet, white and sticky? Glue, of course.

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you know somebody is lying when it IS opposite day.

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A black student graduated High School

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Black People

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What is the best way to put out a fire? Stop, drop and have an 0rgy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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