Your mother is so fat that if she were to fall from a great distance she would hit the ground with more force than that of an average sized individual.

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What would an ice hockey player do if the ice melted? Walk off, as the ice is only 3/4 of an inch thick.

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Hey Eliza, thanks, while I appreciate the help, Alice is crying in a corner and refusing to get up, I wont lie, for a moment there I could "see voices and music" and valium has taken care of the ptsd (and blown most of my brain, which is nice for a change). With that said, im on 40 mg ritalin which is a lot, but I need it, besides I can handle the anxiety. I have no idea who the guy typing this is, but he is following me to the letter, so thats good enough, except his typos being worse than mine, which is pretty good for a guy that barely speaks english. Sorry Eliza, but Alice is having a breakdown here, ill talk her down a bit first, she tries to hide it, but she is far more worried about me than I am, which is nice, just not like this, ill be right back with you.

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What happens when you are a fat 37 year old virgin, with a small penis, poor bone structure, pale skin, a horrible personality, and no friends? You spend all night writing anti-jokes...will someone please like me?

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing.

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What's the difference in a red sports car and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a red sports car in my garage.

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hi

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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Why doesn't the South Pole war veteran remember the name of his child? He is a penguin and could care less about naming his children. Why doesn't the penguin on the North Pole remember the name of his child? There are no penguins on the North Pole.

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A man and a six year old boy are walking along a path through the woods on a moonless night. "Gee mister, I'm scared!" says the boy. "You're scared?" says the man. "I have to walk back alone!"

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Ask me Whats 2+2. ? Ok what's 2 plus 2 4 you dumb ass

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porcupines love sun bathing in the winter months so it dosent rape their nose hairs

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Person 1: I have one question: What are those?!?!?!?!?! Person 2 : Their shoes you Dimwit. Person 1: (runs away crying) -by Mekkhi

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Yo mama is so fat that she has to buy plus size clothes because small size clothes would be inappropriate for her to wear.

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Why did the woman fall off her bike? She got hit by a car door

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wake n shake = wake up and masterbate to a picture of drew e mom o.O

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what do you call a retarded child with a doll in his hand while crying and running up a hill in bell bottom jeans in august at night a block of ice

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Roses are red Violets are blue Cats meow Dogs have four legs

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What's worse than getting rejected by your date? Finding out she gave you a social disease. Namely AIDS.

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Yo mama so fat she was diagnosed with diabetes and now has to regulate her daily intake of foods.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LPFTeHEsAS4 You will not be disappointed.

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If life gives you lemons, keep them because hey, free lemons

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What did the jerk say to the Mexican? You are a Mexican

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Roses are red, Violets are blue Oh, that's good to know.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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