What would a gay man do with a jelly doughnut? Thoroughly enjoy its fruity taste.

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How do you get a clown to get off a swingset? Chop off his arms and legs.

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A Jewish guy walked into a bar... and said "ow"

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Halt! Who goes there?! It is I, Prince Ali Ba Ba of Yo mamas house. To what do I owe this pleasure of your kindness? I come to you with gifts, relics, and spices. All these can be yours if the price is right. Surely there must be a mistake here. How do you go about by and by without a horse? Are you who you say you are? English mothafucka do you speak it?!!! What is this mothafucka do you speak of? Say what again, I dare you! I double dare you mothafucka say what one more goddddam time. Oh wait stop, hammer time...

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What happens every 10 seconds in Africa? 10 seconds passes by.

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Your mom is so ugly that she often finds it difficult attracting members of the opposite sex.

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Why couldn't the cat drink its milk? Because its ears were nailed to the floor.

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dad; were is ur head son; its on my neck duh

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not

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What do you call an asian man driving a plane? Well you can't drive planes

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a duck walks up to a lemonade stand, says to the man running the stand. quack, because he's a duck

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What does an Eagle and a Mole have in common? They both live underground. Apart from the Eagle.

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a horse walks into a blender ow

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If you work at Penn State you might want to skip the annual "bring your kid to work day"

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Somebody pushed it.

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When life gives you a hamburger, you know you're at Mr. Life's Hamburger Stand on 8th Avenue.

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Why does Santa Claus drink so much hot Cocoa? Because Mrs. Claus got tired of his constant drunkenness and won't allow beer in the house in the house anymore.

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What happened to the boy who tried to cross the road? He got hit by a semi-truck and died.

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what did the chickpea say to the raison when he got called big but? Atleast i dont have a stick up my but.

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What is worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings.

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Q: what did the man say to the woman? A: hi

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What's the best part about having sex with twenty-six year olds? They're of legal age to give consent.

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Why did the groom have cold feet? Because his socks were slightly damp resulting in evaporation and the cooling of his feet, as well as the cold weather in December.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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