Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Half a shit.

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What did one liar say to the other liar? I'm very honest.

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Once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book ... it goes on forever. Epilogue: the man and son eventually died because a microphone swallowed a frog. THE END P.S.: I didn't close the quotations. P.S.#2: I don't know what ''P.S. stands for. P.S.#3: I didn't close the quotation again.

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Yo mama so fat and ugly, I don't want to tell you how fat and ugly she is for fear of vomiting.

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Q:What's colorful and waves like a flag? A: A flag.

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Why did the mexican cross the street? Because the next lawn to mow was in a different neighborhood

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How do you hold someone in suspense?

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Roses are blu Violets are red Im colored blind

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There once was a man named Trevor. Trevor was walking casually through the forest one day. All of a sudden, a wolf leapt out from the trees. The wolf said, in a harsh voice, "Hey man! This is my patch". But then Trevor woke up and realised that his hallucinations were symptoms of a degenerative brain disease.

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2 Black men walk into the bar.. Guess what? There still black.

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What happens when you cut down a tree? It falls down.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

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Why was the man denied access to the college Because he did not have good grades in the past.

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How do you make pie without the oven? I dont kow, go google it.

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Why did Bob throw butter out the window, Because he is mentally retarded.

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What happened when the lawyer went surfing? A shark came up and tore his leg off.

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Ring around the rosy. A pocket full of posies. Ashes. Ashes. I just set a dead baby on fire.

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shut up elliot

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ur gey

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Q: Why did the boy cry? A: He was denied access into heaven

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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What do you call a white guy pointing a gun at someone? A member of the United States Army.

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your moms fat. she's ugly too.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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