When life gives you lemons you can't make lemonade! Life is not a person, place, or thing that is able to physically hand you something! But, you can go to your local grocery store and buy some lemons.

there are 4 men in a bar talking about how well their sons are doing with their lives. But one man goes to the toilet. So the first man says 'my son is doing really well he is the head of a airline company and for christmas he got his bestfriend a plane.' The second man says' My son is doing really well he has his own car brand and for christmas he got his bestfriend a brand new car.' The third man says' Well my son is doing really well, He owns his own housing estate business and for christmas he bought his best friend a 250'000 sq foot mansion. The fourth man comes out of the toilet and all the three men say ' We are talking about how our sons are doing in their lives so what about yours.' The fourth man goes' well my son is gay but its not that bad because for christmas his three boyfriends got him a new plane, a new car and a 250'000 sq foot mansion.'

A seal walks into a club.

four blondes where on their way to disneyworld they see a sign that say disneyworld:left so they turn around wondering where disneyworld went

ss sa asd g dg asd g asd g sdg s dg sad g ads g s dg sad g sadg as dg as dg sdg ds gs dg sdg sd g sdg sd g sdg ds gsd g ds g sdg sd g sdg sd g sdg as sdg know i'm sayin?

A man and woman was sitting at a bar. The man bought the woman a roofied drink and she has never been seen again.

You know what rhymes with sloth? Rape.

Chlamydia

Q. How is a monkey like a tricycle? A. They both have handlebars... except for the monkey.

What did the 3 bears say when they saw goldielocks sleeping in their bed? Nothing. Bears can't talk so they ate her.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he happened to be walking in that general direction.

What's big, brown, and full of crap? A septic tank.

What is the difference between a bear and berries? No idea? You better stay out of the forest...

What did the gay man say to the other gay man? Hey, we're both gay, let's have sex!

knock knock! who's there? me.(walks away...)

Whats9+10 19

When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Well, that's going to be some horrible lemonade if life doesn't also give you water and sugar.

Your mother is so fat that her doctor recommended that she exercise regularly and eat foods with nutritional value.

Why is there an owl out during the day? I don't know.

What's worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm in it? Biting into you apple and finding two worms in it.

I just read the long joke posted earlier. I have no life. :(

An Atheist and a Christian are walking along a sidewalk going in opposite directions when suddenly the Atheist sneezes. The Christian says "God Bless You!" Even though the Atheist doesn't believe in God he understand that the gesture was a kind one and so he nods and politely says "Thank you!" before going on about his day.

What do u call a dumb Asian. An american

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well no one really knows for sure

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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