A pregnant woman walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender refuses to give the woman alcohol because he acknowledges a health risk for her unborn child.

whats the biggest ever snake found ? i dont know i dont study snakes :O

Are we in Tennessee? Because I recently saw on the side of the road that it was 10 miles to Memphis.

Why did Billy go into the white van? Because his parents came to pick him up from school.

Have you seen Stevie Wanders new house? No. Neither has he.

A man walks into a bar, ouch!

roses are red violets are blue you look like a monkey lets take you to the zoo if by chance you try to escape ill take my fist and smash your little monkey face! btw i made this up if you use it ill kick your nuts!!!!

Which came first the egg or the chicken? The chicken because eggs can't cross the road

YouTube Is Red Facebook Is Blue Porn Hub Is Down You'll Have To Do

Why was little David sad? His father got hit by a truck.

What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? Tiger Woods is an American professional golfer whose achievements to date rank him among the most successful golfers of all time and Santa Claus is a very jolly fellow who brings gifts to the homes of the good children during the late evening and overnight hours of Christmas Eve.

Why did the lion get lost? -The jungle is massive

Why did the monkey sit on the toilet? To have a bowelmovement

Q: Why is Little Johnny in the hospital with a bullet wound and a broken arm? A: I shot him of his bike.

why did the white man read the New York Times? because HuffPo is horrible. I mean, it's so so so shitty. it's like a wannabe buzzfeed, which ought to say it all.

Whats big, tall and fat? Most of America.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your BANANA.

Why did Suzue fall of the swing? The chain broke.

One night, I walked into a bar. I ordered a few drinks, and left later that night.

Roses are red, Violets are violet

How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to compromise his health and career

What's worse than getting hit by a bus? Getting hit by two buses.

Pooring urine into your eyes, is a natural way to cure pink eye. Found this out this morning.

Why do girls enjoy listening to Justin Biebers music? Because he sings moderately well and appeals to a younger audience.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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