What is long hard and woody? A tree.

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what did the plane say to the trade center on 9/11 boom

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A Muslim, a Jew and a Christian are on an airplane talking about religion. The Jew tells the Christian he believes in a single holy entity. The Christian says he believe Christ is the Son of that very same entity. The Muslim says "When can I get out of this room?" because he's been detained at the airport due to religious profiling.

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"Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave."

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Why is it that all cats dislike flying saucers? The strange noises and lights probably frighten them, as they don't understand the concepts of extra-terrestrial intelligence and space travel.

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Why didn't Jane go to school last Thursday? It was summer. No one went to school last Thursday.

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Fun Fact: If humans stood in a single file line around the equator, most of them would drown.

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A very unskillful basketball team enters a basketball tournament. They had little chance of winning and concluded with a loss.

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what's brown and sticky? A stick.

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A man walks into a bar, has a drink, pays the bartender, and leaves.

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Why did the wolf cry boy? Cause he was a pedifile.

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Why are anti jokes not funny.... Because they make sense.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because it slipped from his hand.

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Q: who is the worst person to ever post "jokes" on anti-joke.com? A: ryan valee

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What did the talking muffin say to the other talking muffin? Ah! A talking muffin!

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Roses and red, Violets are blue, This type of poem, Must always rhyme.

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A cat walks into a bar and says.......Meow

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What is exceptionally dangerous? Shaving while taking a bath, because the risk of electrocution is extremely high.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house No Neither has he.

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Whats big and blue and white and if it falls from a tree its sure to kill you. A fridge with a denim jacket on.

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What do you call a Mexican without any arms or legs? A bean.

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i tell you whats funny......... what? a fat sudanese man

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What do you call someone like Sarah Palin? A tragic victim of America's flawed educational system. But hey! She learned one thing though! Russia is right in her own backyard! Oh wait that would be wrong unless her backyard stretched all the way across Alaska and the Bering Sea. So she didn't learn anything at all. OK she's just dumb

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, but if the ladder is shaky, you might need another to hold it up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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