Q: What do you call a colour blind person that smells like green paint? A: A painter

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An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman were stuck on a desert island, because they were touring investment property islands off the coast of Dubai and their boat had engine trouble. They were eventually picked up in a helicopter.

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How do you kill somebody? A: I don't know, I'm not a murderer.

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An Asian Man Has His Eyes Wide Open

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Moral: Sure, your number is the one that ends with 853 right? Do not reply if I am right. Moral2: BECAUSE TOP COMMENT... AND SERIOUSLY, THAT NUMBER BETTER END WITH 69 AFTER I CALL YOU! DO NOT REPLY

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What did a husband do when he came home to find his wife murdering their children? Nothing. There is no excuse for domestic violence.

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Interupting cow Interu--- MOOOOOO!!

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whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew?... Never mind, that was a stupid question.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Gastapo

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: He has a debilitating disease, it's called ALS.

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How do you find out if your son is ok? Ask him.

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What do you call a guy who answers your door Whatever his name his

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Johnny: I saw you long time ago. You were quite the school clown back in the day. Boy I remember back when I was just a whipper snapper we used play around and goof around all day. Whatdya think? Richard: Shut up, motherfuckingbitch

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why is the room so dark? because the light is not on.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who? Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who? Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who? Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who?

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Say, "Wake up!"

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What do you call a fat guy falling down stairs Japan suffering.

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I don't mind gays unless they shove it down people's throats.

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If 2 trains are going 60 mph, their going in opposite directions towards each other, they are slowing down 1 mile per hour per 10 miles and they are 100 miles away, would you rather have Coke or Pepsi?

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What did one wall say to the other wall? Nothing. Walls are inanimate objects and thus incapable of conversing with one another.

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A blind man walks into a bar Backs up, and walks around it.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I lost The Game, You just did too.

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What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? Their both purple. except for the rabbit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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