Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Knock knock. Who's there? John. Oh, OK I'll be there in a sec. *opens door* Did you bring the blender and the baking tray? Oh no I forgot I'll run back and get them.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the catholic priest say at the AA meeting? Alcohol is ruining my life.

thumb_up thumb_down +849

Roses are red... Violets are blue... I have Alzheimers... CHEESE ON TOAST

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How does Justin Bieber remove a condom? he farts

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How do you know when a Frenchman has been near your house? You don't, really, unless you were there to see him or if one of your neighbours saw him. I wouldn't worry about it, really.

thumb_up thumb_down +385

So a cat walks into a bar and orders a bowl of milk. The bartender, realizing that cats cannot talk nor do they posses higher brain functions, realizes he must be dreaming.

thumb_up thumb_down +590

why was the boy crying over his dog, his cat, and his bird? Cuz i raped them Wat about his pet hamster? I threw it at a wall

thumb_up thumb_down +1

There are 263 birds on a fence, a farmer shot 1 how many are left? 0 the rest flew away.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme oo

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What is black and looks like a person A black person

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what do you do after throwing a water bottle in the trash? Hug a tree

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Yo mommas so fat... that when it was rainning, she put on her rain coat and went outside, everyone was saying that the sun came up

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Girl 1: I just can't find the man who'll make the perfect husband for me. Girl 2: Maybe you're asking for too much. Girl 1: Yeah, probably.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

I pregnant woman wakes in the night because she had a mis-carriage.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock Knock Who's there Me Me who ME LET ME IN

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Roses are green Violets are yellow I have mental problems Doobah haga Blakatrabbit

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why doesnt Squidward wear pants? Because he likes to hang loose

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are red Violets are blue Elephants cant jump Neither can amputees

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to compromise his health and career

thumb_up thumb_down +7

your momma's so ugly that she currently deals with an overwhelmingly self consciousness view of her appearance to the point where she has contemplated suicide and it is in your best interest to seek her medical help in order to preserve her heath and overall well being.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I have a horse.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's black and white and red all over? A black, white, and red painting.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the dog start barking? Because it was a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops