Why is it impossible to travel faster than the speed of light? Because it travels pretty darn fast.

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What does a baby sound like when put in the microwave? I don't know, I was masturbating.

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What happened to the guy that got hit by a bus. He died

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Once upon a time there was a boy standing up. Then he sat down.

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Why was the Pædophile arrested? He hit his wife.

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Why was the boy rolling down the hill? Cause he's stupid

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Why did little Susie light herself on fire? Answer: She wanted to be warm

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Q: What did the prostitute ask the officer? A: Where were you stationed? I have a lot of respect for our boys in the Middle East.

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Whats purple and fluffy? Purple Fluff

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What did the man say when he was having sex with his wife? That feels quite good.

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What is red and smells like brown feces? Bloody feces

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Did you hear about the guy that told bad jokes? No.

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why did the guy make a deer and and bear mix because he wanted some beer

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Whay is jerry so bad at parallel parking? He just got a sex change yesterday.

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Whats worse than a truck full of dead babies? Unloading them with a pitchfork

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Why did the creeper not go home? Because his parents blew up. (As told by a 7 year old.)

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Superman vs Batman real fight: Batman: Hmm I believe that Superman might want to fight m*squish* Batman explodes in a bunch of meat as a blue and red blur is seen fly by. Extended Edition: Batman: Hah Superman I got kryptonite gloves so if you would just stand close to them for about five minute...*squish* Batsack of meat left we see nothing because Superman is FASTER THAN A SPEEDING BULLET. They are probably gonna go like every fucking crossover, first they squabble and throw a few punches for five minutes, then they realize that the LAX LADDER LEX LUGER AND LEX LUTHOR brothers made up some fake story so sups and bts kill each other while they blow up the world, so Btz, and Soup end up beating them up... Moral: "PFF! BATMAN HAS BEATEN UP SUPERMAN AND THE HULK IN THOUSANDS OF SHlTTY NON CANON STORIES!" (In where the one with the Hulk described the hulk to have the instincts and combat skills of a "dumb, animal like confused ape" yes actual quote, Batman punched this confused green ape across a door and kept beating "The Hulk" up as he ran around in "animalistic fear and "rage" receiving random kicks by Batman, then Btz throws some capsule that turns into a fishbowl with no oxygen that chokes The Hulk (supposedly to death) in a few seconds... The Hulk can like hold his breath for YEARS in space, (but you know these lethal fishbowls)

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What's worse than having a FUPA? The Holocaust

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10inch nice

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A black man walks in to a bar, and is promptly escorted from the premises, for being under the age of 21

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What is BIG, STIFF, AND FULL OF SEMEN!!!? A SUBMARINE!!!!!!!

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A man walks into a bar. He has a drink. Then goes back home.

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What do you call a black man on a bike? A hard-working individual who found a steady job and earned enough money to buy a bicycle of his own which he rides to and from his job because he is healthy, doesn't like to waste money on gas, and doesn't like the pollution automobiles put into the air.

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A girl's opinion is respected.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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