How do you keep an idiot busy? Why would you wanna keep an idiot busy, it's not gonna make a difference...

25

what do you call a top thats spining? A spinning top

s s is for shit h h is for hit i i is for it t t is turtle

Why did the catholic preist take all the little boys out in the woods? They were going on a camping trip.

Why did the boy cross the road? Because he was on his way to a friends house, after being kicked out yet again because his parents are homophobes and can't come to terms with his sexual preferences. When he got there, his friend was already asleep and he had to sleep in the gutter. He then got a cold and died because his immune system had been weakened by aids. His parents still didn't accept him, and didn't go to his funeral.

Your dad is so hairy, that he shaves to look more cleanly.

Friends are like snow: If you piss on them, they disappear.

What did the rabbi say to the bartender? Hi, Mark!

What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre

There are two parrots sitting on a perch. One parrot says to the other parrot, "Do you smell fish?"

SNAPPLE!

Patient: "Doctor, I have a strawberry stuck in my bum" Doctor: "Well, that's an awfully peculiar place to keep a strawberry. What were you thinking?"

knock knock who's there Romney Romney Who? RON PAUL 2012

What is the difference between jam and jelly? Jam has chunks of fruit, jelly does not.

What happens when you mix mints with fizzy drinks Blast off

Why do mexicans have so many children??? Because condoms resemble skinny balloons.

q. a whale walks into a bar. The bartender asks"why are you wailling?" A. I my 3 year-old son died.

Why did the car get out of bed? Because the person who owned the car was a total freak and put the car into a bed.

What does Pluto and a creamsicle have in common? Neither of them are a planet.

Your mother is so fat that when she sits around the house, she feels bad about herself but is too embarrassed to get a gym membership and work-out in public.

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

Why is ms Wolfe mean? Because she is a poop face

What did the African Man get in Africa Aids

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...