Like this if you have a big diick like me Dislike if you have a baby diick Ignore if you're a girl and get back in the kitchen

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the firefighter says to the other firefighter: hey firefighter, are we going to fight a fire?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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knock knock who's there who who who and if u sat something about an owl I'll kick u in the face u fat cike

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You're such a baby, that you are still in diapers! Ew! How would you know creep!

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A girl hands her boyfriend her phone and says it's his dad. He throws it on the ground exclaiming, "My dad's not a phone, duh!"

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A black man shoots someone. He was a cop and he killed a dangerous man who attacked him.

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Whats Pink and fluffy? Yellow fluff thats been dyed pink :D

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Hey guess what? What? I have good news and bad news. The bad news is you're mom died. I lied about the good news.

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What's worse than getting a divorce? Nuclear warfare

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if a sentence contains the words "Chuck Norris" it still has to end up with a period otherwise it is bad grammar and is looked down upon by American society.

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How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen? Probably around seven.

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Whats the difference between a monkey and a baby? Eating a baby tastes better with saltines.

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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What do you call an Ethiopian with buck teeth? Lucky to have teeth.

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Okay so there was a turtle, a pig, and a donkey. They were out fishing when suddenly they spot a man in boat. The man said he hasn't eaten in 5 days and he is very hungry. He looked at the turtle and said "no, too much shell." The turtle was happy and left. He looked at the pig and said "no, too much fat." The pig ran away and was very happy. He looked at the donkey and said "I think I'll have donkey today." The donkey ran away because he was scared. The man died from hunger.

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your moms soooooo FAT that she went on a diet and became really sexy

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Why couldn't the Chinese man drive? Because he didn't have his driver's license yet.

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Q: What did Stevie Wonder eat for dinner last night? A: Something consumable

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Roses are grey, violets are grey, im a dog

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Why isnt there a womens NASCAR? Because NASCAR does not yet have the funding to start a women's league.

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Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree? Because it was attached to the first elephant. Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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swag

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What's white and moves at a glacial pace? A glacier.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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