Why was Billy no mates? He had no friends.

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how do you put a giraffe in a fridge? open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door. how do you put an elephant in a fridge? open the door, take out the giraffe, put the elephant in and close the door. the lion king is holding a conference in the jungle and all the animals turn up except for one, which animal is missing? the elephant, it's in the fridge. you come across a river you need to cross, but it is infested with man-eating crocodiles, how to you cross the river without dying? just swim across, all the crocodiles are at the conference.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Politely say "Hey you, get out of the tree."

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It's funny, because she's twice his size!

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what has wheels and is red. A heart, i lied about the wheels.

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Why did the chicken cross the border? Because he was an immigrant and was afraid of the police.

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what is the difference beyween football and baseball the superbowl and world series

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I scream, you scream, we all scream when we're chased by bears.

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Got a card in the mail from my estranged uncle today. Yep.

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A man comes into a bar. No wait, it was a horse. A man comes into a horse.

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Why do fishermen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up.

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What did the innocent little girl get for Christmas? Lymphoma.

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involved parents.

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Your Mama's so fat she can't fit into a toy car!

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Don't you hate it when your reading a sentence and it doesn't end how you testicles.

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OMG did you hear about the man who sky-dived from mars?!!!! No…. Me neither

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What day is it? Asked the man with a gun who dislikes music. Friday. Mostly because yesterday was thursday and tomorrow is Saturday. Sunday comes afterwards also. The man says "oh. I thought it was Tuesday."

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Why did the boy fall out of his seat? He was being strangled with a piano wire.

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First person: Knock, knock. Second person: Who's there? First person: You know. Second person: 'You know' who? First person: O.O LORD VOLDEMORT!

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what is Rebecca black's favorite restaurant? Ruby Tuesdays

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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Whats funnier than Steven Yuhasz being Straight? Womens Rights.

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What's a zombie's favourite dessert? I don't know, but I'll give you 50 bucks to go and ask one.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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