What's the difference between a pen and a tiger? Believe it or not they are both not a cantaloupe.

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"Lack of sleep" is that like... Sleep deprivation?

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Well no, thats not true, sorry, I mean I GET THAT ALL THE FUCKING TIME!

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What did the sick kid say to Make a Wish foundation? To get better

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On a scale of 1 to 10, how high are you? Very.

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What do you call a Black man sweeping the floor? A janitor.

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What do you call a black man playing golf? A golfer.

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Think of your favorite joke. Thats so weird! Thats exactly the same as this joke!

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How do you protect yourself from fire? Kill an orphan and nail its bones to your skin.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Why was the man shot in the head twice? He wasn't because he died after the first and it is nearly impossible to survive a gunshot to the head.

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What do you call a boy that was once a boy, but no longer is a boy? A Man

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A blonde walks into a store and asks for the microwave behind the counter. The man behind the register promptly hands her the microwave and charges her $435 for it, which is utterly ridiculous.

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Why is cameron haythorp gay? Answer- He showed his willy to robet tuner

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Whats in your pants, might get caught in your zipper and you may hold it all day. your pocket.

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Colon Right Parentheses For all of the confused people out there that's :)

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What you do if you poo out a slug? Eat it.

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Why did the carpenter cry? Somebody killed his family.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

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Why didn't John get a present for Christmas? Because John died eight months ago.

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Your mom is not fat!

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Why was six afraid of seven? Back when seven was in Vietnam, he sufferd Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and constantly has flash backs and irrational thoughts of six being with the veitnamese alliance and tries to viciously molest six whenever he runs out of anxiety medication.

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There's a 4 door kayak going down the street and it loses a wing. How many doughnuts fit in a dog house? And remember its not yellow, because snakes don't have armpits.

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What happens when you put two black people in a blender? That is physically impossible, you cannot fit two people in an ordinary blender.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops