When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A: Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Two construction workers are working on the final floor of what will soon be the worlds tallest building. The first turns to the other and says: "Hey tom can you throw me a three quarters hex wrench? i think my set is metric." the second guy turns around and says: "yea, here you go."

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Philosoraptor, turds IM A SPAMBOTz B=Not really, just blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

whats silver and cries? a coin, although it can't cry because its a coin. So it's just silver

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A white guy, a black guy, and a Spanish guy jump off of a building. Due to acceleration of gravity, they hit the ground at a fast speed and die.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

how do you make a baby float? you take your foot off its head

thumb_up thumb_down -10

whats worse than biting into an apple with a worm in it? being raped by justin beiber

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why didn't the cow go to the candy store It had diabetes poor cow :(

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Whats the best thing about having sex with twenty eight year olds? There's twenty of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A jew and a black man walk into a bar the black man orders a screwdriver. The jrw asks him why did you order a screw driver.? The black man answer black:I enjoy screw drivers.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are red, Violets are red, my eyes are bleeding

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why couldn't the black man swim? Both of his legs were just eaten by a shark.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What did the bullet say to Bin-Laden? Suck it

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man reaches to grab a womans chest and then realizing hes gay, backs off and everyone goes home happy

thumb_up thumb_down -10

(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did Johnny fall off his bike? His father never taught him how to ride one as he was an abusive alcoholic who abandoned Johnny's mother when Johnny was 3, so he is not very good at riding bikes.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Yo mama's so stupid, I told her it was chili outside so she went outside with a spoon.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's the difference between a park bench and a black man? The bench can support a family!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock Knock ... guess nobody's home.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why was Helen Keller such a bad driver? Cause she was blind, def, and mute. Thus making it difficult to drive.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

josh- your a strange boy. liam- yes. due to by up bringing i have been exposed to unusual situations that most people do not encounter therefore affecting how i behave. Secondly the definition of normal is varying from person to person making being normal to every human being difficult to even the most capable of people. Essentialy Josh i care little for you comment. *josh was a black man who died of cancer 6 weeks after this incodent*

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I created darkness. God created the stars. God created the bee. I created the wasp. God created the child. I banged your mother. Moral: Soon my wings of darkness shall destroy your very own star, these words seem empty now, so I will fill them with true meaning and purpose as I will give the same to you the day the sky brightens no more.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops