Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: A sad, unfortunate dog.

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A man works at a Doritos factory hes worked there for a few weeks and hes made the most Doritos in his line now and the head of the company gives him a promotion he now runs his own line a few months later the head of the company bob comes back to him and promoted him again to now our friend Carl is head of the Factory about two years later bob comes to Carl and hes promoted to head of the east coast he is head of 27 Factories about a decade later bob asks Carl if when he retires Carl will take over the company and he accepts bobs offer 23 years pass and bob retires Carl is the new head of the company so he is about like 65 at this point and he wants some wine so him and his buddies go for some wine Dan says Carl this lines two long so they decide to have some soda and then Jason says this lines longer then the last one so Aiden says to Carl why don't we go get some punch so they all got into line but there was no punch line a.w. j.p.

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Iceland is actually green and Greenland is actually icy and Germany started the Holocaust.

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How do u get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor

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I like school Said no one ever.

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What do you call a white woman that had sex with a black guy? A rape victim.

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whats worse than getting lost in europe? becoming the middle in the human centipede.

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Why did the orange have to wear a tie to the party? Because Rodric the Pear suggested it.

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Knock knock. who's there? Strawberry! Strawberry who? Pickle!

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Why did the man launch his rocket into the sun? He didn't. Overcoming the sun's orbital pull would require your rocket to travel ~7,400,000 mph, which is a velocity that is impossible for today's rockets to reach.

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks the duck "What'll it be?" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck and it can't talk.

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Boy:well you merry me. Girl:no Boy: why not? Girl:becuase you're rapeing me

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why did John fall off his bike I don't know I was not there it was a rumor at school

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Why did somebody text "lol"? Because they laughed out loud.

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Guy 1: Yo dawg Guy 2: DID yOU JUST FUCKING CALL ME A DOG>/?>/???? Guy 3: Yea

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What was the only reason a ginger ever won in a fight? It was against a Dementor.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller read? She was blind

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Nothing, you heartless asshole.

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How do you make a dyke moan? Insert a BEAVER in it!

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your mama is so fat, she sat on the ipod touch and made the ipad.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Orchids are white, Sunflowers are yellow

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How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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Did you ever hear about that rich Mexican?? No. Yeah, me neither.

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Why couldn't the kid get into the Pirate movie? He died in a car crash on the way there because of a drunk driver.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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