Why didn't the blind girl say hi to anyone? Because she was blind.

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Why was the man sad? Cause his dog fell off a cliff

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Why did the child get an 100% on a test?? Because they got all the questions correct.

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish

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Why did little Lucy climb up a tree? Cos her dad beats her.

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knock knock zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz knock knock zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz knock kock ding dong ding di-ding dong zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz sigh weeeeeeeeeewooooooooooooooooo zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz hey yo wake up zzz-oh-huh-what-whos there i've been yelling for like five minutes oh sorry jim will you let me in already all right

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Who paved the road? The fat guy with the steam roller

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a stupid chicken wandering around.

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Q:Why did the man throw his clock out the window A:Because he didn't like his clock

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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Q: What do you call a midget psychic who escaped from prison? A: His or her name.

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Why are pineapples yellow? 82, piano, bomb, lamp!

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When is a door not a door? When your house burns down.

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What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night and see your tv floating in mid air? Drop It Niggher!

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what do you call a black guy fixing your electricity an electrician

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What made Qtip's so dangerous? Q-tip's music

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A man goes to the doctor's office. The doctor says, "I have some bad news, and some worse news. The bad news is you have alzheimer's. The worse news is you have cancer." The man breaks down in tears, realizing that his life as he knew it is over, and recognizing the horrible burden he is about to become on his family, both financially and emotionally.

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How is a fat girl like a tiny motorcycle? She isn't, and you should be ashamed of yourself for even thinking how she might be.

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What is striped black and white? A prisoner in jail arrested for the murder and rape of a 7 year old child.

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How do you make a dyke moan? Insert a BEAVER in it!

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Why couldn't the duck fly? It died.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Tell him he won the current game of hide n seek.

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A friend? Just a friend that you told to stop pretending to be me? And you had no idea whatsoever that I am Nero as in not one of the six hundred thousand wabbabes?

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Why did Janie miss school today? Because she fell in a well.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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