A black guy and a Mexican jump off a bridge. Who dies first? Nobody cares.

Looks through the peephole.

Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be severely mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

What do fat kids and whales have in common? Ruth burden

Why did the dog cross the road? Because he saw another dog

Q.What did the homeless kid get from santa? A. Play Doe. Because he was a good boy. Q.what did the Rich Kid get form santa? A Coal. Because he was a bod boy. The rich kid then got mad and threw the coal at the homeless kid hitting him on the head which killed him of enturnaly bleeding.

Why did the cat eat himself? He was hungry

A devout Islamic man walks into a weapons of mass destruction store he is shocked and appalled at how easily such dangerous weapons can be bought.

What happens when a rabbit is late for a very important date? Nothing, rabbits have no logical way to keep track of time.

Roses are red Violets are blue Roses are green I'm bipolar

A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

How do people from Indian Hill laugh? Like an Indian, huh, huh, huh!

Why did little tomas cry? Because he got raped by his uncle

Why couldn't Jimmy breathe? He had a knife in his throat!

They say duck tape can fix every thing, Not my grandma's cancer for that matter.

whats long and green? weed

Why did the sperm cross the road? It didn't, as sperm cells have tails not legs, and are therefore incapable of crossing roads.

What would Martin Luther King Jr. be today if he was white? Alive.

Why don't Mexicans sneak back across the border? Because there are more opportunities and free stuff here. Why would they want to leave, especially at the risk of getting caught for crossing in a sneaky fashion?

How did Allen Iverson compose one of the most well known interviews of all time? Practice.

Why did the kid drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

Why shouldn't you tell a joke during an earthquake. Cause it is not the time nor the place to tell a joke

Yo momma's so fat she went to Antartica and all the penguins were like, "Woah. You're fat."

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didnt. Why do we have to live in a world where people have to be so concered about why a stupid chicken decides to cross a road. Shouldnt we all be more focused on ways to get a better economy, or maybe end world hunger?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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