Mahmy

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What time is it when it is time to get a watch? About 4:30, unless its a monday.

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One time there was a girl in a wheelchair and she couldn't walk.

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Yo Mama is so fat She wears XL clothes.

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My aunt used to say slow and steady wins the race she died in a fire

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This week only, 2 for 1 misdemeanor shop lifting arrest. How can I do it? Because I can.

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Q:Why did suzie fall off the swing A:She had no arms

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Two fish were lying on a bank. One said "I can't breath." The other one was dead.

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There are ten million million million million million million million million million million million sub-atomic particles in the universe that we can observe. Your mamma took the ugly ones and put them into one nerd...

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Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

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Why did the jewish plumber commit suicide? After years abuse from his alcoholic father and rich sibling, he finally snapped and killed himself on his birthday after nobody told him happy birthday.

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The awkard moment when you realize you either have cancer, are pregnant, or a combination of the two.

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did you know Helen Keller had a dog? neither did she.

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Is that my bread? I sure hope so.

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Doctor Doctor! I think im turning into a carrot! Thats a side effect of the drugs Alice, We've just had your test results back. I'm sorry Alice, You've got HIV.

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Watch your lips.

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What's the difference between two elephants? One is dead.

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Why did the black guy buy a bucket of KFC? Because he was hungry

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What do you call a man with 3 arms, 6 ears, 9 fingers, and a red clown nose? His name.

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Why did the man mow his lawn without his shirt on? Because it was very hot out.

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What do you call a blond in a library? A girl that likes to read.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? No one. No one who? Cares.

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Your mother is so fat she sometimes eats a normal sized portion of food and does not feel satisfied

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Dave: Hi John! John: I have Aids.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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