I hate cripple jokes! I just can't stand them!

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What was Tiger (from Whinnie the Pooh) looking for in the toilet? Pooh

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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A bar walks into Chuck Norris.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No one knows because humans do not have the capability of accessing the chickens brain to receive their knowledge and what they were thinking about in the past.

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what do you call someone who kills jews? a life saver

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Yo mama's so stupid.....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................uh jk

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If a vegetarian only eats vegetables, then what does a humanitarian eat?

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Why is Kim Jong Un so horrible? I forgot the rest of the joke but your mum is a whore

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What do you call a deaf, blind socialist? Helen Keller.

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what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, you already told her twice.

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I was walking down the street next thing I new 15 blacks and Hispanics died in a dive buy. The next day every white guy in the cars doin the drive buy blew up ohwell

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why was the clown sad? because his wife left him

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Why is poop brown? Because you're a shit.

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Why did the feminist complain? that's what they do

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A jew walks into a church. he wishes to be touched by God.

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"Roses are Red" "Violets are Blue" That's what they say, But it isn't true. Violets are violet, Now stop sniffing glue!

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Good because it is important to keep food chilled to prevent it from spoiling and wasting you money

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Your momma is so fat that she's developed a cardiovascular disease and has 5 weeks to live

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Why couldn't the boy talk? He drowned.

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What do you find at a black guys yard sale? A bunch of reasonably priced items since he comes from a low income household.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had three balls.

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what did the boy who liked trucks get for his birthday? POOP

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Why was the black man running? He has to stay fit for the army.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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