what did batman say to robin before they got in the car get in the car

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Your mother is so fat she sometimes eats a normal sized portion of food and does not feel satisfied

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man went to the doctor. He had experienced some strong abdominal pain. The doctor looked at him and ordered some tests to be done. He had a kidney stone. The day after he passed the stone, he got ran over by a bus. The man's name was Bob.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why didn't the skeleton go to th party? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

"Knock knock..." "come in"

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you get wen u cross a cat and a walrus? Two animals with very different life styles.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did Billy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down -18

HEy Hey Hey! Lakers are so going to bounce back!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How do you treat a homeless man? Like any other person, you disgusting fuck.

thumb_up thumb_down +106

A Jew sits down next to a muslim at the bar. They great and discuss their day's events, they both order beers. Then they go home.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

If quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests? Well, a test is a well thought-out series of questions, usually used in schools to determine a students final grade.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One

thumb_up thumb_down +98

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Dam. Mothers Against Dyslexia.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Person 1:why did the person fart Person 2: wh.... Person 1:shut up I'm not interested any more! Btw person 2 got interrupted

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "How's it going?" The man replies, "Bless you." The man walks out of the bar, as his peers realize he was honest when he told them a week earlier that he had autism.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? Shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A black guy walks into a bar orders his drink and could not do it in a more civilized way

thumb_up thumb_down +8

One scientist is talking to another scientist. One say "what's the matter?" The other replies "my family is dead"

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Two muffins are in the oven, One says "Damn it, so hot in here," The other one says " Wow! Muffin which can talk!"

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What did Rachel (the columbine girl) get for her birthday?? Nothing she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I farted and it smells like rotten ham with melted cottage cheese now dislike this please.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops