Q: What is worse than getting stung by a bee? A: Your breath. Please have a mint.

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What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew?

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Douse it in gas and throw it in a fire

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What is long, hard, cries a lot, and can't fall down a man-hole? A baby with a javelin through its neck.

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Your momma is so dumb that her IQ is 3 standard deviations below that of an average person.

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What's faster than the speed of light? Not a car

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When Chuck Norris plays Modern Warfare 2, he gets more care packages than Haiti did.

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Q What happened to the kid with diabetis and a one legged mom A. He got hit by a bus

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What did the black person say to the other black person? Im really white, I just want to fell what its like to be black.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a good, New England family man

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Potatoes have skin, i have skin, so therefore i must be a pig

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Hitler: I said PASS THE JUICE! not GAS THE JEWS!

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What does Ke$ha feel like when getting up in the morning? Shit because she has a nasty hangover.

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What do you call a black man with a brain injury? Mentally Disabled

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Why did the car's airbag go off? He hit a boy eating his ice cream

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How Many polish people does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, one person is capable of screwing in a light bulb. Unless they were mentally challenged, in which case, they would get someone else to do it for them.

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Knock, Knock Who's There? An Orange No Seriously Who Are You?

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why did the fat woman die? ... because she tried to commit suicide and the ceiling collapsed on her.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police The Police who? .The Police The Police who? ..The Police The Police who? ...The Police The Police who? ....The Police The Police who? .....The Police The Police who? ......The Police The Police who? .......The Police The Police who? ........The Police The Police who? .........The Police The Police who? ..........The Police The Police who? Forget this. *Gunshot*

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What's worse then having Casey Anthony babysit your child? A girl asking, "Is it in?"

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

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What is the square root of 69? 8.306623863

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How so you find out if a black woman is pregnant? Have her take a pregnancy test

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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