WITH YOUR RED THUMBS COMBINED! I AM CAPTAIN MORAL! You: GOOOOO (AWAY) MORAL! CAPTAIN MORAL MAN, IS A HERO, GONNA TAKE GREEN THUMBS RIGHT BACK TO ZERO... Moral: Okay that is all I remember about the Captain Planet Theme song... GIVE ME RED THUMBS MUAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA! PS: Redhead, three months have passed (more or less) I wont call you because we agreed you would get of this fucking place, but I can visit you if you are a good little girl! And yeah I am calling you Red, Tifa just reminds me of Final Fantasy and your big bosoms so yeaaaaah get your little red haired cunt over here so we can chat yes?

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

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Roses are red My balls are blue Get off Unless You want too

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A jew walks into a bar He receives a phone call and promptly leaves

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How do you stop an assassin? Kill their target

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Why did the depressed man jump off the bridge? Because bungee jumping is a great activity to relieve stress.

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Q: What's the difference between a grasshopper and pencil? A: Lots

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Animal

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A man and his family walk into a talent agent's office. The man proceeds to sexually accost his wife and children. The agent calls security who escort the family out and helps the wife find a domestic violence shelter to stay at.

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My new friend, aka future fuckbuddy asked me what I do for a living. I told her, I write books. She asked me if I had gotten anything published yet. I told her: EXCUSE ME? DID I SAY I WAS A PUBLISHER? She laughed, for some reason... Good enough of an Antichri... Antijoke.

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what did one apple say to another apple nothing apples cant talk

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Why was the boy sad? Because a freak accident killed his mum his dad his best friend and he lost both his legs and is unable to feed himself

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what do you call a woman who has sex for money? smart.

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what is black and white and red all over? a group of people of mixed races playing paintball.

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Life's like a box of chocolates it's shit if you have diabetes

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Why did Amy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not Amy

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? The Pilot. You racist bastard.

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What did the Asian say to the American? herro. rook at me. i have round eye i american!

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Two muffins are cooking in the oven, they say nothing to one another as muffins can't talk

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A kid asks his mom: "Mom, what would I be when I grow up?" And so his mother answers: "You won't grow up, you have cancer"

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A Pilot.

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MR MC CANN WHATS THE ANSWER

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The big male boar went out the forest, saw a group of women and start to swank.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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