Q: Why did Sarah fall off the swings? A: She had no arms Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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can i have a cookie no diabeto!

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How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -Fish

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My did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Whats worse that a rhino hitting you in the face? A rhino with horns hitting you in the face

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot.

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was dead. Why'd the other monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was stapled to the dead monkey!

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Why did the cat throw up on the couch? because it was nauseous!

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Why did the gir fall off of the swing? She had no arms.

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Knock knock. ... There was no reply because the resident was on holiday.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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how do you wake up lady gaga you poke her face

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What did the black man say to the white man? Hey, I like your shirt.

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What did the horse say to it's owner? It didn't horses can't talk

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Your husband died.

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josh roberts goes into churches and forces them to listen and go by his religious opinion until they cry

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Why did the man float in the lake? Because he was dead.

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A Jew, Muslim and Mexican all die of cancer

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to KFC.

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What would George Washington say if he were alive? "Help! im stuck in a coffin!"

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how do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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Knock Knock Who's there? Xiao Kaan Xiao kaan who? Fu*k you ugly lauuhhh

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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