What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they've may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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Did you hear phonsi was Gay? I just found out too, he walked into the diner and said, "ive got AAIIIIIDS."

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Knock Knock. who's there? It's me. you need to be specific...

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-Your momma is so ugly, she wasnt a model. -Am I supposed to be caring?

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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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Why did the black guy die... Herpees he didn't practice safe sex

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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How do you make the queen of england cry? You rape her violently.

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How long does it take for a Jew to die being gased. Same as anyone else.

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Q: What's worse than getting hit by a bus? A: Herpes, AIDS, Diarrhea, Constipation, Castration, Super Herpes, or the song "Friday."

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WHat did the Somalian girl get for Christmas? AIDS

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What's grey and can't fly? A castle

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Why couldn't Little Timmy see the pirate movie? Because Little Timmy was blind.

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When life gives you lemons, That's physically impossible. Life cannot physically hand you lemons.

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Beans, beans, they're good for your heart, Because they contain antioxidants and help to lower your cholesterol.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Bill: Hey Bob guess what? Bob:What? Bill: your adopted

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Why was the boy sleeping on the curb? he wasn't actually sleeping, he actualy just got hit by a car and had already died.

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A girl asks a guy "How come you don't take me dancing anymore?" The guy said "Because we were both killed in a car accident."

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Penis jokes.

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Whats yellow and shaped like a banana? Bananas

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your Grandmother died.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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how come the tadpoles dad told him he can't be a nurse? he has 2 b a frog!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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