How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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a horse walks into a bar. Noticing the potentially dangerous situation everyone leaves, the bartender calls RSPCA who come and retrieve the horse and order is restored.

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How do you kill a blonde? You shoot her.

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Where do pimps go when they retire? Idaho.

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Whats worse than having a parking cone rammed up your ass? Realizing that a big orange cone is up your ass.

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Why does tundes food suck? Because he is from Africa and the cuisine is different

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What did Winnie the Pooh say to Eeyore? Nothing, he just suffocated him in a pot of honey.

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What is green and red and flies 100 miles an hour? Super Frog.

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3 guys walk into a bar. The fourth guy ducks.

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Q: Whats worse then being murdered? A: Nothing

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What did the athletic white boy say to the aids carrying African boy? Ha.

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without laughing try to say " i hate bubble" with a dull face

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A woman walks into a bar but is promptly returned to her kitchen by an officer of the law. Later that same evening, she is beaten mercilessly by her husband for her outright disrespect for the social restrictions imposed upon her gender.

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Why do black guys have big dicks? God felt bad putting pubes on their head

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What is yellow and has thick, shiny fur? A banana. I lied about the fur.

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A man gets kicked in the testicles... Ow

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Why is the sky blue? Well it has something to do with The suns reflection off of all the waters on earth's surface.

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what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

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Guy walks into a bar and half his head is an orange. Barman: What can i get.. holy shit half your head is an orange!! How did that happen?? Guy: Magic Lamp, rubbed it, three wishes etc etc. Barman: What in the bejesus were your three wishes, half your head is an orange. Guy: First Wish – I wished for every woman in the world to love me. Barman: Right, that is ok. What was your second wish? Guy: Second Wish – I wished that I was a billionaire. Barman: What in the hell was your third wish half your head is a frickin orange? Guy: It was a silly wish. I dot wanna say: Barman: Go on tell me, I’ll give you a drink. Guy: OK well for my third wish I wished that half my head was an orange.

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why are black people good at jumping and white people aren't? That's stereotyping people .... anyone can be good jumping as long as the practice.

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How do you know when everybody on a plane crash is dead ? When your the only one who walked out

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Why did the man scream? He got his dick caught. In the zipper.

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whats brown and falls out poop :) - haha

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a socially responsible chicken and his family was on the other side and every day walks his ass across the street to go to work to provide for his family, unlike your dead-beat ass.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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