how fast does it take to kill a blonde? Give me a gun and i will find out

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A gorilla walks into a bar. It goes on a killing spree, and is promptly put down by animal control.

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How do you stop a baby crying? You don't. Just walk away.

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A man walks into a bar. He asks for a beer. One of the bar tenders twlls him they are all out. He takes out his gun. He has 1 bullet and there are 3 bar tenders. He wants to kill them all. What does he do? A: Shoots 1 and pegs bricks at the other two.

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Why did the eskimo drag the seal into the igloo? Because the whale wouldn't fit.

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What did the fireman say to the people in the burning house I'm going to use this water for my sprinkler rather than saving your lives. I might as well use this for something more significan, like my lawn.

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a irish man walks past a bar

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead Q: Why did the lizard fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the moneky

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A man walked into a room and said to his friend, "I am about to show you something amazing." He claps twice and the lights turn on. He is using a device called The Clapper made by Joseph Enterprises, Inc. using advanced technology that was patented in 1985.

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Yo mama so ugly that she often has trouble being attractive towards people of the opposite gender

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a man walked into a bar and said ow

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear? The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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roses are red violets are blue i like movies get me a taco

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What happened to the homosexual jiggalo? He ended up getting aids from having anal sex with various men which is not the best idea because the anus where poop comes from.

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A black guy, Jewish guy, Chinese guy and a normal guy walk into a bar. They were all normal but the race of the last guy could not be easily determined.

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How many dead babies can you fit in an oven? Depends on if you put them in the blender first.

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8================D-------- (.Y.)

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Have you heard about the Polish princess? There isn't one. The Polish monarchy was abolished in 1918.

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Your mom is so stupid that she failed out of high school and now has two jobs to support her family.

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Steve, what do I write on a 3946 if more than two vehicles were involved?

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What's Kanye West's main goal in life? To dash the hopes and dreams of Taylor Swift on national television.

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can the real slim shady please stand up? no. there is a slim shady in all of us, so we will all stand up.

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A man walks into a bar and brings a Snickers. He gets a beer, eats the candy, and leaves leaving the wrapper. The bartender is angry with the littering but cleans it up and serves another customer.

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What has 142 teeth and can hold back the hulk? My zipper.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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