-What do you get when you graph the division of x by the square root of 69? - I don't know, what? -I was asking you, as my family's low economic status hinders my ability to buy a graphing calculator.

Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

What's creepy about a loving couple having sex? I made them do it.

What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

What do you call a dog with no wings? A dog

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

Q: What did the train say when it sneezed twice? A: Trains are inanimate objects, thus they cannot sneeze or talk. Are you an idiot?

What is worse than finding an Apple in your Worm? Watching your dog jumping of a cliff

What happened to the man who posted yet another repeated joke on anti joke? Nothing. He posted an old joke that everyone has seen a form of already.

Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the rest of the kids during recess? Tiffany is a pencil.

You know why Michael J. Fox makes really good milkshakes? ... because he uses the best ingredients

I'm pretty sure you can't throw a fridge...

what do you call a gay kid? KIRK, SAV, FRANK, or even KIRKLE THE TURTLE

What are the two words that once you hear, You will feel a sudden gush of euphoria followed by immense depression? The Game

Once, I went to Peru.

Q: what r u eating under there? A: underwear ewww thats nasty

What shakes and twitches and can be found at the sea bottom? A scuba diver running out of oxygen.

What did my dad say when i knocked over the christmas tree? nothing, my father is dead

Why do women fake orgasms? Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.

On a scale of 1 to 10, 7 being the highest, what is you favorite color

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

What do you get when you cross an Indian and a duck? An Indian duck.

I remember my first beer. It did not taste good to me at the time.

A Penguin walk into a bar and asks "Have you seen my brother?" And the bartender replies "What does he look like?"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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