Why did the frog commute suicide ? Because His mother was a type writer

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why don't carrot tops souls ? They just don't

thumb_up thumb_down -21

It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta pudding god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

There were two planes to take off.. One did, the other not at all..

thumb_up thumb_down +1

My mom is such a bitch that no one will date her!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!TRUE STORY!! :D

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what is black, white, and red all over? A bloody panda

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What do bluejays and cardinals have in common? They both Were born during the Medevil period.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

whats worse than dieing in an airplane? jumping out of the airplane to save yourself and emediatly getting shredded by the massive engine you did not have the wits to see.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the deaf, dumb, blind kid get on his birthday? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A dyslexic man walks into a saloon and asks for a hair cut.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

4 Jews are killed during a car accident, the whole city mourns over there death and create a plaque in their honor.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a blonde at the beach? A dipthong.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

When Kurt Cobain was little, his mother told him to never play with guns but I guess it went through one ear and out the other.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What does a tree do all day? Boredom

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I began as a dreamer, then I became a visionary, then I saw my dream come true, until it shattered us all. Do you believe that perhaps, there are people out there, trying to stop the world from reaching a better age?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

ron:jim i cant get the toaster to work jim:dude thats a thats my car!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's black, white, has green stripes and smells like eggs? I don't know. That's why I'm asking.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Juan

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why doesnt snow like Asians? Snow is a form of precipitation within the Earth's atmosphere in the form of crystalline water ice, consisting of a multitude of snowflakes that fall from clouds. Since snow is composed of small ice particles, it is a granular material. It has an open and therefore soft structure, unless packed by external pressure. Snowflakes come in a variety of sizes and shapes. Types which fall in the form of a ball due to melting and refreezing, rather than a flake, are known as graupel, ice pellets or snow grains. Therefore since snow is unhuman they are then thus incapable of emotions because they lack any vitals organs.

thumb_up thumb_down

what do u call a turtle with no shell? Larry

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why did the old woman die? Because she was too old to live

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Yo Momma's sooo fat that the speed of light at her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Person 1: want to hear a joke? person 2: yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops