Some say Helen Keller can't write a good book. You know what she said? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Tiger woods is a famous golf player and Santa is a fictional old man dressed in red and white who is said to live in Lapland, have an airborne sleigh driven by eight magical reindeer and come down the chimney to fill childrens' stockings on Christmas eve.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the fisherman say to the other fisherman? Were both fishermen

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Your mom was so fat, She was overweight.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's the difference between heaven and hell? Hell likes you more.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a Mad Cow? Dead. Pst, Mr.Cobb if your reading this- Hola.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's the difference between a duck? An armchair, because a vest has no sleeves.

thumb_up thumb_down +307

I pushed my friend off the bed after losing to him in FIFA 2011. He died.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Nero, thank you for this opportunity, I desire to join the shadows, I left a thumbs up. Michelle

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Knock Knock. Who's there? Who. Who, Who? Shut up you damn owl, I'm trying to deliver a pizza.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Little Timmy walks into an ice-cream store. He dies on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red. Violets are blue. The Clouds are white. Thank God I am too.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Religion

thumb_up thumb_down +85

What do you call a black man with no legs? Crippled.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

how does hitler drink soup ? with a spoon

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did Johnny fall down? Because I threw tropical fruit at him.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Teenage pregnancy.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Pete and repeat are in a boat. Pete kills him self due chronic depression. Repeat laughs his ass off

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Boy: Mother, I'm dying! Mother: Ha, lol, I put poison in your cheese! Boy: MOTHER! Boy: *dies*. Mother: Ha, lol!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a Christmas tree with lights on it? A Christmas tree with lights on it.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A baby walks into a bar and the bartender says.... Where is your mom?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why was the little boy crying? He had dead mice shoved up his asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

The snails are salting one by one Hurrah! Hurrah! They fizzle up until they're gone Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting two by two Hurrah! Hurrah! They melt until there's only goo Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting three by three Hurrah! Hurrah! Some shells and slime is all I see Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting four by four Hurrah! Hurrah! We shaker-salt them even more Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die!

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops