Why did the girl drop her lollipop? She got hit by a truck

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did the black man rob the russian guy? He didn't. He was too scared.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: What is worse than loosing your arms? A: Dying

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

An Englishman, a Scotsman and a Welshman are all in the Great Britain Olympic squad,

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what's red and green and goes 100 mph? a red and green car going over the speed limit.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why was the walrus wearing braces? It wasn't, because it his highly unlikely that people would care about a walrus's dental issues. The walrus would most likely cope with his irregular teeth and move on with its life.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q. Why do some people not like anti-jokes? A. They don't find the humor funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the moon. It burnt up on re-entry

thumb_up thumb_down +4

So the word RAPING does not work unless you type it in caps? Raping... Did it censor? No? Never mind then... Wow, catchphra Never mind... Its a sign X-files theme.... Teleports at your house: Hah bitch never you ugly, or not ugly enough... Urgh, nevermind, I mean some ugly chicks know their stuff but you know... Anyway NeroMetal The sociopath not the fucking Cultist piece of shit that use my morals as a code system? YOU THINK WE THE SAME? EEEEEEH! Me raping you says we are not... And ill find you ;) Or your sister or your mom, I mean h0m0? You think im a pervert or something?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the man say ow? He got his dick caught in his zipper.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats funny about a kid with down syndrome q: a lot of things, like his face

thumb_up thumb_down

on a scale from a banana to a pound coin - how much do you like the works of antonio vivaldi?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a chicken who eats chicken. Cannibal

thumb_up thumb_down +39

life is like a box of chocolates, it sucks if you have diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What is big, grey, has 8 wheels, can fly, swim and walk. I dunno. Thats why I'm asking

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Do you have to be so, you know... Open about what we are gonna do and stuff? I mean I know some people here, and you are a married man and you know.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Did you know Hellen Keller had a dollhouse in her backyard? Neither did she.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

4 out of 4 questions. You want to cross the lake, but alligators live in that river. How do you get across? The alligators aren't there. They're all at the lion king's meeting.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are red Violets are blue I would love you But you are too ugly and overweight

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you do when your phone goes off in class? Stay behind after class whilst the teacher takes off his pants and tells you do bend over a desk. This is your punishment.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's the worst way to die? Alone.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops