Little boy: Daddy, daddy, I know what i want for Christmas! Dad: Oh really? and whats that? Little boy: I want a bicycle! Dad: Why my son? You are already on a wheelchair...

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I farted once. Haiti took the brunt of it.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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How did the cat die of indigestion? Indigestion

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Why was this German dude's water bill so high this month? Because there were thirty dead Jews in his shower. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Why did the girl miss her date? She got killed.

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The blond detective was searching a crime scene and replied to the police officer, "I smell something fishy about this situation." She was on her period as a matter of fact, and bled all over her trousers.

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Hi

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Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school today? He had his legs amputated. He'll never ride his bike again.

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Your muma is so ugly she went to a ugly competition and got kicked out "no pros aloud".

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Roses are red violets are blue. I have amnesia so say hello to your nan when you get home

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How do you keep an elephant from charging? Shoot it with a high powered gun right between the eyes.

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why didnt the deaf man laugh? he was also mute

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Q: Why was the prostitute's mouth sore? A: She had multiple cavities due to poor dental hygiene.

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A gay man walks into a biker bar and orders a drink. The bartender says "Hey, you want ice with that?"

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one. Any more than that and they would just be getting in each others way.

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A YouTube brawl began between two gentlemen in the comment section. They agreed to a final answer and moved on.

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Why did Rebecca Black die? She killed herself due to the cruelty of many people

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm about to kill you Don't scream, here's a lollipop

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What's white and sticky? A white stick.

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What's the difference between a muffin and a scone? One's a muffin.

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Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

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What has wings, is bald, and can't fly? A bald eagle. I lied about the part where it can't fly.

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What's worse then mud on your shoes. Being assassinated by means of a dart to the throat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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