Why did Sara fall off the swing? -She had no arms *Knock Knock* Who's there? -Not Sara!

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The last head of Satan, is oh but what you blamed upon Your faults, Your sins. The thoughts of Madness written here, yet potent enough to cloud Your thoughts.... Wait not forever children of man, as eternity is at its peak, the false prophet IS AMONGST US! But what side is he on? The last ditch attempt to protect humanity from a raging jealous vengeful God? Say it is not so! Say that darkness is not the only thing standing against you and eternal damnation... ...Yet you killed his only true child, you stole his name, his essence... Even his Identity... ...Even the Angels white are powerless to stop him, Your maker, Your true maker, for what is the grief of the holy, from which you took his only son... ...As you celebrate once and once anew... :...Merry CHRISTmas, to all of those of you all now left behind... Celebrate it well, as before the world reaches 2017, is where it all ends...

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What Would George Washington say if he were alive to day. why are all the slaves free?

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What's the difference between a black man and a bunk bed? A bunk bed is stable and can support two children.

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A christian was diagnosed with cancer. He refused chemo and prayed to god. Eventually, he died.

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Why do children go to school? Because they have to learn.

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why did amelia earhart get lost? because she was a woman

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whats wierder than two lesbians kissing two homos kissing

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What's worse than finding a worm inside your apple? Finding an apple inside your worm.

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What worse than being shot? Waking up and finding a penis in your mouth.

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What did the man with a colostomy bag say after his home was destroyed in a fire? At least all my shit’s in one place.

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how do you drown a blonde? strategically place a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a swimming pool (or just a regular sticker because, quite honestly, they won't be able to tell the difference as the water fills their lungs)

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Why does Hilter hate Jews? He's incapable of hating because he's dead.

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women's rights

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why is the spine-tailed swift the fastest bird? because its faster than the second fastest bird.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer lacked basic fence mending skills

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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?white vans

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What's worse then an adult dying A baby dying

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What did I say to the joke? What? Correct.

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Why didn't the man give a location of the murderer? He was murdered

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Tip for Employers: Avoid hiring unlucky people by immediately tossing half the resumes into the bin.

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Two men are fighting in a boxing match. One gets punched in the crouch, cries, and goes home to watch "The Simpsons".

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Gary: Stick your tongue out and say "I live in a pirate ship" Bruce: *sticks tongue out* "I lib inna pile of shiiit."

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Roses are red, violets are blue ive got a gun so get in the van!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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