A dyslexic man walks into a bar He sits down and has some trouble reading the menu but orders a beer

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Q: How many chicken nuggets can fit into an olympic size swimming pool? A: 8,563,690,152... Corndogs

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What did the father tell his son who was caught stealing from the teacher? --The father didn't say anything because he walked out on his family when the children were born.

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What did the dog say to its owner? well as you can see it is physically impossible for a dog to speak english or any other langueges such as french, spanish or chinese.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor Ah, come in!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he felt like it.

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Why did the man stop suddenly in the street? His unhealthy diet, alcoholism and smoking habit caused him to have a heart attack at the age of 56. He died because of it.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? A watermelon doesn't scream when you cut it open.

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A turtle walks into a bar. The bar tender says "what will it be?" the turtle doesnt reply because its a turtle and the bar tender is sent to a mental hospital for talking to turtles.

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What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket.

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Roses are red Violets are blue, You are reading jokes online, Go make some friends, or take up knitting because it has many benefits.

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Why couldn't the mexican feed his family? Because a large percent of mexican immigrants in the United States do not have jobs due to dicrimination against illegal immigrants crossing the soutern border, thus rendering them more vunerable to unemployment is that is vastly present in the United States.

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Why did the baby cross the road? 'cause i kicked it.

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A woman walks into a bar. Guys aren't the only ones walking into bars.

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What did the man say to his wife when he bought a dog? I bought a dog.

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My children are huge mistakes.

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-Why Peter is going to mall for buying some beer? -Because he was 18 and he was able to do it.

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News of the day - David gives back 2 pounds to someone. The police, as he stole from a old nana to pay for a toothbrush

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If Chuck Norris has $5 and you have $5, you both have the same amount of money

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coast of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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Why did the teacher give out homework? she is a teacher

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How did the Muslim blow up? He accidentally left his gas on and after a while sparked up a cigarette.

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Your momma so fat she's fat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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