Roses are red. Violets are blue. Obviously.

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What do you call black people in a church, Holy shit

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69, Is funny because the numbers are backwards

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what do you call a blonde that spends fifteen thousand dollars at a bar? an alchoholic.

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I hope your not allergic to bees Because your about to be attacked by a live tiger.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Why did the boy cry when he got a new puppy? Because he had anal seepage coming out his ass

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what do you get when you cross a broken arm and a broken leg? .... a broken head.

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How long does it take a black woman to have a baby? Nine months, give or take a few days depending on whether she goes into labour early or not.

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Six hasn't been the same since Vientnamn

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You mean I have to type in this little box? That's so embarrassing!

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Joke

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What's worse than losing your job? 9/11

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What do you call a clock that neither ticks nor tocks? A broken clock

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How did the magician make his assistant disappear? He killed her and then cremated her body

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what is white and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? a refrigerator.

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Gay marriage is freaking gay.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because skeletons don't get invited to parties because they are the remains of something that is dead and that would be a very ood thing to have at a party.

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Q: What is the leading cause of pedophilia? A: Sexy children.

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Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school today? Because it is Saturday

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One day a mexican guy came up with a great anti-joke about jewish guys. Upon sharing it with a canadian buddy of his, he collapsed and died from a cerebral hemorrhage where he was then hit by a bus and mauled to bits by a pack of saber-tooth tigers.

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Q: What did the bulbasaur say to the charmanderr?? A: bulbasaurrr

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what is the difference between coke and pepsi? -they are competing soft drinks made by different brands

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what do you call a fish with no eyes fsh

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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