What did santa claus get the boy with cancer for christmas? Nothing. Santa is not real and thus incapable of granting christmas wishes.

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a boy walks into the doctors office."my knees hurt...i poked it like this"the doctor says "listen kid...u are a really good kid but u didnt really injure your knee and im sick of you!!"

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was suicidal

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What's green, has four legs, and falls out of a tree? A pool table in a tree

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what did the little boy say to his mom? nothing his mother died in childbirth.

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How many band geeks does it take to catch a football? One, especially if he/she is on the football team.

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A rat and a pig rape a puppy. Hey, that's just life.

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Women's Rights.

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Who will win in a fight Chuck Norris or Chuck Norris? I don't even know who he is -Lets go METS!!!!!!

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Rebecca black walked into a bar. She was then escorted out because she is under-aged.

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HEY are you aware of how tired your suitcase is? Sorry, I rest my case.

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What do you call an 8 year-old with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor

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Why did Sally fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

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What happened to the soccer player when he got kicked in the leg..... He cried on the ground for hours even though there is padding there

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Roses are red Violets are blue God makes things beautiful... What happened to you

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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What's beneath Chuck Norris's beard? A chin I presume, as that is what most humans have under their beards. Chuck Norris is a human and therefore is likely to have a chin. This is all based on the assumption that he is a human, because of the many characteristics he has shown that are humanlike.

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Who are doctors and literally are porn stars

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Waiter. there's a fly in my soup! I apologize, I'll bring you a new one immediately.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Someone else's.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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a piece of string walks into a bar and the bartender says “sorry we dont serve your kind here” so the string goes outside twists himself round and ruffles up one of his ends then walks back into the bar, the bartender says “aren’t you the piece of string i just kicked out?” the string then replies “i’m a frayed knot”

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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