How can you tell if your wife is dead? She won't have a pulse.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call an Englishman, an Irishman and a Chineseman playing football? 3 friends playing their favourite sport.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a black person that flies a plane? A pilot you racist BITCH! Its ok a niggah gots altititude.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A fat guy at starbucks, waiting for his regular 160lbs breakfest. why is the 10 black kid crying? he's hungry and there is no starbucks in somalia .

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia So do I

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the squirl eat the accorn? Because he enjoys it.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What have in common a recently born baby and a quadriplegic blonde person? Both have legs but they cant walk

thumb_up thumb_down -11

whats red and and has 202 legs? an ostrich, ok i lied about 200 legs and the red part

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you kill half the Mexican population? through a penny of a cliff. How do you kill the other half? Tell them its still down there.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's brown and rhymes with snoop ? Dr Dre.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the man drop his wallet? Because his palms were sweaty from a long, happy day at the beach with his family after moving into there new home.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

whats green and smells like red paint? green paint

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the burn victim get for Christmas? A book of matches

thumb_up thumb_down +39

How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at it.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Where do you find a baby with no arms or legs? Where you left it.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a man with an Eye patch and no arms? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the black man commit suicide last tuesday? he was just fired from his job, his sister passed away, and he became depressed

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Hey girl, the word of the day is "legs". So let's go home and research the origin of the term and possibly conduct other etymological studies.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

When do doctors make house calls? When you're sick.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why did the magician stop doing magic ? he got hit by a bus and died

thumb_up thumb_down -24

So a guy is on his way to work and he nearly gets hit by a bus. He sticks his middle finger up at the bus driver but a couple seconds later he realized that it was the same bus he was supposed to get on so he apologized to the bus driver and got on the bus. He was 15 minutes late for the 420th time this week so he was fired from his job and went back home. On his way home he was not allowed on the bus because he left his oyster card somewhere so he had to walk home. 69 minutes later he arrives home to his wife and kids. What did the man say to his wife when he got back home? "Hi."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man with a gun walks into a bar. The police are called and the man was killed quickly.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What is human, went bankrupt eight times, got a small loan of a million dollars, and is over all a terrible person? Your probably thinking Donald Trump Well your correct.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops