What do you call a donkey on Christmas? a donkey.

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A man walks around a bar.

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A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Is that my bread? I sure hope so.

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Why did the motorcyclist die? I heard he was sat on by Chuck Norris.

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What did the skateboarder do when he was trying to do an ollie kickflip 360 and tailslide on a rail and dismount heelflip to manual? He fell

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- what do u call a dead black person a problem - what do u call a lot of dead black people a big problem - what do you call a mass killing of all black people. genocide

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Gestapo.

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Whats a difference between an eagle and a tree? They both can fly. Oh yeah, I Iied about the tree.

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A 14 year old walks into a bar. The bartender yells "Hey, no minors allowed here!" A 14 year old walks out of a bar.

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Knock, Knock? Who's There? Not Suzie

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You

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A black guy walks into a bar orders his drink and could not do it in a more civilized way

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My friend said that onions are the only food that could make you cry. That was before I hit him with a watermelon.

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Suicide is never funny Unless it's a clown

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Neil is a reterd.

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What do you call a black priest? A black priest

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whats the difference between a battery and a charger

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Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and suffered from a self-inflicted gunshot wound in his head, he is being treated by medical professionals

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How long does it take to paint a house with babies? It matters how hard you throw them.

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What do you get when you cross an alligator and a kangaroo? Nothing. An alligator is a reptile and a kangaroo is a mammal, therefore it is impossible for them to breed.

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A- knock knock B- whose there? A- Chuck Norris B- chuck norris who? A- are you retarded?

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What do you get when you cross North Korea and the boston marathon? BOMBS! :(

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3 women are on a plane. One blonde, one brunnete, and the other a red head. The pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. The 3 women find out that there is only one parachute in the plane. The plane crashes and they all die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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