Why did Little Timmy eat Smarties before school? Because he was hungry.

Two guys walk into a bat, they have a couple drinks then go home, one crashed and died in a horrible drunk driving accident. The other, who took a cab, went home and viciously beat his wife.

Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

What is big, white and hairy A refrigerator, I lied about the hair

A.do i have alzheimer's? B.yes A.do i have alzheimer's?

What's the only think duct tape can't fix? Your parents divorce.

what does a pickle and a computer have in common? ... they both have a mouse.

What happened to those who survived the attack on Hiroshima? They were killed in Nagasaki

oooh look a banshee

Yo momma's so fat, she slipped into a diabetic coma.

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Shit on her face

What is worst than a black guy hanging on a tree. A burnt black guy hanging on a tree

whats worse than 9/11? not much haaaa

What does a farmer say when he can't find his tractor? - Where's my tractor?

Knock Knock Who's there? No one. You're imagining things.

Roses are red, Violets are blue I'm Schizophrenic and so am I

Why did the kid cross the road? To show his friends that he had guts. And man, did he have guts.

Why did Steve Jobs die? Because he had cancer

A blind man, a black man and a rabbi walk into a bar. The blind man trips violently.

If u read thus your awsome .... And if your a emo kid with rainbow hair and a 3 inch penis then NO your bad

knock knock who's there? Police oh shit

What do you call the man with no arms and no legs? Jeff. Because that's his ****ing name.

Knock knock. Who's there? The police. We know about the cocaine.

Hey, your mom left something at my house. It is pink and lasy. It is her new hat and i think she will want it back.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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