Q: What would George Washinton do if he was alive today? A: Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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Zombies eat brains! (You're safe)

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WHATS A CRUM AND LIVES IN A SLUM ?? A BOY CALLED KEVIN CRUMMY

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: b/c it was dead. Q: Why did the second monkey fall out if the tree? A: b/c it was stapled to the first one. Q: Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A: b/c he thought it was a game. Q: Why did the toaster fall out of the tree? A: The branch snapped. Q: Why did the little girl fall off of her bike? A: She was hit by three monkeys and a toaster :( MAB99

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Ok, So what happens when an Irishman, Rabbi, and a Black guy all walk into a bar. Nothing the Black guys a recovering alcoholic and is supported by his loving family and friends, especially by his son Martin who he promised to stop drinking when he was 7.

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i know a guy called ryan he is a benny he has a combover

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What's worse than crying over spilt milk? The Holocaust.

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What did the working mother get her son for Christmas? Empty promises.

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why did the chicken cross the road? he didn't make it

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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Why do dead Republicans float? Their corpse's mass-to-volume ratio is less than the water they displace. It is very sad.

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whats not funny and has access to a computer and reasonable internet? Me

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A witch walks into a bar and orders a drink. She gets her drink and proceeds to have a great time.

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What did the bank teller say after the man asked for a pen? Would you prefer black or blue?

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What did the Jew say to the German? Yes I would like fries with that.

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An Arabic Muslim is on a plane. He's flying to Chicago.

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How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? A car crash.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow

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What do you call a boy with no arms or legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

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Michael Jackson will always be remembered for touching...the hearts of many.

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Q: What do you get when you cross a chimpanzee and a zebra. A: A crossover between a chimpanzee and a zebra, mixed together.

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WHATS WORSE THAN THE HOLOCAUST A FLAT TIRE

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Why was the blonde girl stupid? She had suffered sever brain damage the previous month and was still recovering.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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