Knock knock. Who's there? Schizophrenia.

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why did the girl die. because she was bullied and abused everyday by her family and friends. she was homeless and was forced to drop a bomb on her own forest. there fore she stabbed herself.

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why does breanna love pie? BECAUSE ITS JIMMYS LAST NAME!!!

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What do a gas and a liquid have in common? Nothing

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How do you get a Jewish man out of a pool? Ask him politely, for I'm sure he's a pleasant and reasonable fellow.

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What do u call a short Mexican Nothing that's normal

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What is big, eats cats, smells good, but looks like shit? A big, cat eating, good smelling piece of shit

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whats blue and can be seen in the sky? the sky.

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A racist walks into a bar. Nasty accident you had there mate. You should be more careful next time.

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Why did the Michael lose the race? Because he had no legs.

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chuck norris's daughter lost her virginity but he got it back

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Did you hear about the kid from Oklahoma? Yeah, he died.

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A new family have moved in next to me. They have three little kids and they've challenged me to a water fight in the back yard, so I'm just writing this while I'm waiting for the kettle to boil

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What did the walrus say to the Penguin. It said MAHHRGH. because walruses can't really talk

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A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

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What's the difference between an alligator and an argyle sweater? There are far too many conceivable differences between the two objects to be able to give an actual definite variance between them.

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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What do you call a man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk? A man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk.

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What's the difference between? Your mom.

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What's better than winning a million dollars? Winning 2 million dollars!

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They gave here a timeout, like any other sensible parent would.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, 1, 2 in mod7.

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Women.

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What did the man say to the other man? I would have no clue because I am deaf

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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