Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

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Q: Why did Jimmy not have balls? A: A terrible, terrible sand paper accident.

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A 12-year-old boy comes up to the Polish man and says, "I was looking in your bedroom window last night and I saw you and your wife doing it. Nyah, nyah, nyah!" The Pole answers, "You are a very rude, disrespectful, and inappropriate child. Where are your parents?"

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What do you call it when a woman doesn't want the child she is currently impregnated with? Abortion: a very sensitive and controversial topic.

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A Christian and an atheist are in a bar. Neither one knows the other's religion and they continue to drink.

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what starts with F and ends with ead? Fred was walking to school one day when he heard a strange noise in a tree. He walked up to the tree, looked up, and saw a cat. Fred was late for class, so he decided to go to school and help the cat out after school. Eight hours later, Fred came up to the tree and looked up to see if the cat was there. It wasn't. The cat was lying next to the tree, dead.

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i remember when i was a child i wanted a skateboard but my parents would never buy me one so late one night i crept downstairs and got a hammer and some wood and i beat them to death my foster parents baught me 5 skateboards

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy but your adopted banana

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Q: What happened when Sophie broke her leg? A: She was taken to hospital where she was given a cast, and made a full recovery just in time for the Summer.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Dandelions are weeds

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Me Chinese Me no joke Me die of cancer.

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what do you call a muslim flying a plane a pilot

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So horse walk into a bar. The barkeep says "Look horse. You cant be in Here. You're too big and you're going to hurt someone....Its just not gonna work out."

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A man walks into a bar And compliments the bartender for his great service

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falling didnt make the difference

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What did the lampshade say to the other lampshade? Nothing they sat in silence

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why did the jew cross the road? He didnt. He got stuck in the wire fence.

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A man and his friend are talking. The man says, "You know what's funny? Sometimes you mean to say one thing and you say a completely different thing. Like the other day I wanted to buy a ticket to pittsburgh, but the lady I was buying it from had very large breasts, so I accidentally said 'Can I have a picket to titsburgh?'" And the other guy says, "Yeah, man, it's really funny you say that, the other day I meant to ask my wife to pass the salt, and I said 'you whore, you ruined my life'"

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God

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. The chicken was run over by a truck before he could get to the other side

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Your momma's so fat: She fears a lower life expectancy and consequently not seeing her grandchildren grow up.

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What did the horse say to the cow? Nothing because animals cannot speak.

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Q:What did the duck say to the other duck A:We are both ducks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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