What ended my last relationship? Oncoming traffic.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Bläeghen-Fassybìll-No?cheb!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Do you know how I know you're gay? 'Cuz your dick taste like shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

John Hammond from 'Jurassic Park' looks like KFC's Colonel Sanders. Which is ironic, since chickens are descended from dinosaurs...

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the batmobile lose a wheel? The joker was raping robin too hard

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why can Michael Jackson no longer moonwalk? because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why did my BFF hate me?i called her an idiot on all the holidays including her birthday

thumb_up thumb_down

Thank you so much Nero, I have read it and I am crying because I am happy, at first I was worried because I have never cried out of happiness before. But its over. Nero, you underestimate yourself a lot, promise me we will work with that together, sometimes you almost convince me you are as inferior as you say, but then you get out of your shell of doubt your past has caused in you (its not you when you doubt yourself its what they put in you), you are always there when people need you, teach me hypnosis someday and let me remove that part of you which does not allow you to believe in yourself. Dont reply Nero, calm down and sleep, I feel you are allright, I just know.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How many bodies can you stuff into a oven? Who tries figure that out? I'm calling the cops.

thumb_up thumb_down +352

Roses are red viloets are blue mw3 sucks and bf3 is good

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Something told me to write "vote pancakes" so I wrote "Vote Pancakes" it said it was wrong, and now I know why, capitals.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

GO CHARLIE TO CANDY MOUNTAIN. Charlie is a unicorn and unicorns are not real they are mythological creatures. They do not breath becuase they where never alive unless you do drugs(mr craig) that is the only way to see them. And drugs leed to lose of money, loss of money = broke.Broke = no home. No home= death. So who believes in unicorns??

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the boy kill his father? Because he was molesting him.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A movie trilogy about an alphabet book. A ten minute long movie about a complete lifespan. A 600 pages long book on how to stop procrastination. A two page book about the top 600 award winning pictures. CALL NOW FOR A TELESCOPE INCLUDED! (So you can see the stars and fuck the book altogether) Juggernaut: IM THE JUGGERNAUTBITCH! Me: Hi, mind if I just call you bitch for short? Your life sucks sometimes because Karma is a bitch... ...My bitch ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What falls down but never gets hurt? A professional stuntman wearing protective gear.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's the only animal that has to be oiled? any animal I can think of

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call an asian with a small penis? Whatever his name happens to be.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: You know what's really funny? A: A good joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks the duck "What'll it be?" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck and it can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red Violets are red Oh god I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Yeah Aodhans been typing up everything strting argument along with taggart

thumb_up thumb_down +44

why did the girl fall off the slide? she was pushed, by her dad...

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what do u call a black guy who sells drugs a pharmacist

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops