what did the therapist say to the other therapist? were both therapists.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? a new bike.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Scientific fact: If you took all the veins from your body and laid them end to end, you would die.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's similar between a flamingo and a rhino? They're both pink...except the rhino

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Ask me if i'm a tree... "Are you a tree?".... No

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a bicycle that likes threesomes. A tricycle

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep? ProtestS from Anti GM activists.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Rick Perry.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A duck walks into a over 7-11 and says "Give me some Chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.

thumb_up thumb_down +6,305

Why does the little boy play video games all the time? Because he is socially awkward and has no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

yaa tsi tsup ari dik ari dull an dik ari dill an dits tan dool la dippyduppy dull la roop uttyroopy la goorigan gook aya gittygangool arup cha cha adippydappydill la baritztandill lan den lan doe a barik kata barip pari baribadeebadeebadee standen lan doe ya baril las ten lan day a doe la babadeadevadevadevaduv ya vou what is that little las day lan doe badakadagadaga doo doo day a doe

thumb_up thumb_down +1

welcome to australia. *kangaroo kicks you in the gut and you keel over, whereupon you are stampeded by wild dingoes and eaten by tasmanian devils*

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the girl cry? i took her happy meal.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the deer stop running? It was hit by a car

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's the difference between a duck? A toothbrush, because a car only has four doors!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the midget cross the road? He needed to buy a ladder

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Howdid we get copper piping we put a Pennie between two Jules

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the chicken cross the road? because

thumb_up thumb_down +25

why did the pirate have a patch? to crack the software he had downloaded

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did one banana say to the other banana? Answer: It didnt say anything because bananas are inanimate objects, so it isn't humanly possible for a banana to speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because I pushed him.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

So God answered a paralyzed boy's prayer the other day...He said 'No'

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Dave: Hey, Doug! How was your day? Doug: My mother is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops