- Anti Joke

What do you call a cow lying on a barn floor? A cow

Whats funny about ISIS? Nothing, you asshole, its terrifying.

A moth walks into a podiatrist's office. The podiatrist says, "Moth, what's the problem?" And the moth says, "What's the problem. Well, doc, where do I begin? Every day I get up to another cruel sky. It's like the sun is mocking me as I begin the gruelling preparations for another 8-hours of slogging in meaningless toil for my boss, Gregor McIvanichisky. A grey self, captive in a grey cubicle in a grey office with no windows that I might see the grey clouds beyond... I just sit in my cubicle as I feel the throbbing ache of the best days of my life being raped away into a monotonous, forgettable slurry of irrelevant corporate drudgery. I don't know what I'm doing, I don't think my boss even knows. All he knows is that he has power over me. And my children...my daughter is always on her cellphone, texting and emailing. I haven't spoken real words to her in weeks. My oldest son is never home and when he is, he's locked in his room listening to angry music. My youngest son, he's only 4, I look at him and he asks me to play... and I feel nothing. No love, no tenderness... just a void. And when I look in the mirror...I don't recognize the face staring back at me. It's aged so much from the boyish looks I remember. The years have carved deep lines of despair, worry and anguish. Dark, hollow eyes where once gleamed hope and excitement. Thin lips unable to find the smile of the happy, old days. If only I could find the courage to reach over to the side table and remove the loaded gun. And then find the strength to pull back that hammer as the chamber rotates, clicking solidly into place...Raising it to my temple for the final squeeze that will erase the last shreds of my existence from this cold grave of a life wasted away." And the podiatrist says, "Well, Moth, you're in pretty rough shape. You need to get some help. But why did you come to me? You need a psychiatrist!!" And the moth says... "Because the light was on."

Why is the ANTIJOKE symbol 2 mask faces crying? Because some people don't know how to write a good joke.

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

Q. How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? A. 17.

A deaf man walks into a bar. A few minutes later, cops come in and takes the poor man into the cop car and takes him downtown to the precinct for booking. Meanwhile, back in the bar the deaf man drinks his beer and converses with the bartender in sign language.

A whale walks into a bar, everyone says Hey, Ashely!

What did the deaf blonde say to the brunette? Nothing.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a rapist.

Q. What do you call a bunch of guys in a shower? A. The Holocaust.

Why was Billy sad? An evil clown hit him with an Axe.

whats 2+2? 1

What did the african child get for christmas? Abducted.

Why did the plane crash? Why? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

what comes in a can ? Beans Where do beans come from ? Cans

Why do Chinese people smell? Because of their ethnicity...plus, they smell.

What did the fat girl say to her friend? I'm fat.

Your Momma's so fat when the whales see her they don't say anything as they are unable to speak the human language.

If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Digress

What is so sad about 5 black people going over a cliff in a Ferrari? That was my Ferrari by darragh hamilton

A Christian asks God why there is so much pain and suffering in the world. God does not answer.

Why do cats have nine lives? Because they don't have ten.

Q: What did the rectum say to the Anus? A: "Your a waste."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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