what do you get if you cross the mafia and the yakuza? a hefty bounty on your head

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two kids see a girl naked in the woods They walk away promptly to their homes and tell their mothers.

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roses are red, violets are blue, hes for me not for you, if by chance you take me place, ill take my fist, and smarsh your face.

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What do you call a black airline pilot? An airline pilot.

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whats brown and stick? brown paint that has not dried yet.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet up with its grandmother who just happened to live on the other side of the road because the doctor had said this could possibly be her last week.

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Two men walk into a bar. You would think the second man would have seen it. Made by Bobbie Pummel

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Q:what does your face and this site have in common? A:both are poorly constructed

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Three men walk into a bar. Neither of them saw it coming

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Why wasn't Steve paying attention in class? Because he was dead.

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Waffles ate my grandma

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Why did the toddler fall in the pool? He was irresponsibly left unattended outside and tripped on the edge of the pool. He died within two minutes and his parents were blamed for his death.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Well...here's how it went. It was a rainy Sunday evening. Seven felt like he wasn't cared for and unneeded. Two and Four tried talking to him, but that might have set him off. I just left a deli with my friend Three, and as soon as we leave, I see Seven, with a 45 to his head speeding down the alley. Causing mass commotion, he careens to the right a split second before hitting pedestrians. At the sight of that, I knew he was still in control. I call him on my smartphone and tell him to "Relax, park, and I'll meet you in a minute." I run up the side of the pickup, and lean in on the window. He pulls it down and I tell him that it isn't over, and that we DO care for him. One, Five, and Ten were run over though. Oh, and Seven ate Nine too. He was depressed when he did it.

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how do you confuse a brunette? paint yourself red and throw a fridge at her

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What did Jesus say as he walked on water and people went like WOHOO! OMG WE ARE TOTALLY GOING TO CHISEL THIS INTO JEWTUBE SO EVERYONE CAN SEE! "BEHOLD AS I WALK UPON THIS WATER WHILE ALL OF YOU HAVE FAILED BEFORE ME! ONLY I CAN WALK OF THIS WATER OF FROZEN WITHOUT SLIPPING! Nero: Because go fuck yourself asshole. Lol... Jewtube was not as widely available as youtube so yeah... Walking on ice without falling over was a big thing back then... You know such as OMG! EATING BREAD AND DRINKING WINE! WOOOOOOAAAAH SCIENCE! AND BURNING BUSHES SPOKE AND... Moral: "Ill be back, you know, just to annoy you, and because I want to, a real man needs no other reason, and that is why you fuckers need so many of them"

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why is the sky blue? - because you have herpes.

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black people

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i told my parents that i was having friends come over my dad said great my mom said great so i said great

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What do you call a blue horse with two legs and five eyes? A blue horse with two legs and five eyes.

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Q: What's one thing that 5 out of 6 people always agree on? A: Gang Rape

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what is the difference between batman and a black guy. bat man is white

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Some guy pretends to be Santa on the street. He touches a little girl and says "It's okay i'm Santa" So the pedophile Santa molestes the little girl. The little girl goes home and says that Santa touched her so the parents go looking for this guy. And then they find out he died of a heart attack.

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I touch my sons dick XoXo Wendy.

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What do you call a quadriplegic man at a museum? "Sir," unless you happen to know his given name, in which case it would be most polite to call him that.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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