Why did sally break her arm? A piano fell on her

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The closest I've been to an animal charity was when I walked past it to by myself a fur coat

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What did the angry man with tourette syndrome say when he smashed his thumb with a hammer? Ouch.

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How do you make a car? You build it.

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Why didn't the magician pull a rabbit from a hat? Despite his choice of occupation, magic tricks are rarely appropriate in hostage situations.

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Caolan and Eamon

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What is a dog? Bark

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falling didnt make the difference

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Ya well your momma's so hot...I'd bang her

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Why couldn't the driver start his car? Because the driver was a tree

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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A man walks into a bar. What does he say? A: Ow.

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Roses are red... Violets are blue... Unless your colour blind.

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Why did the car catch fire? It was parked in Ferguson, MO

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf or bread. why did the plane fall apart in mid air? The engineer was a loaf of bread Why didn't the plane take off? because it was delayed.

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A man walked into a bar. He stayed for a bit and had a good time.

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Q: what's green and fluffy? A: green fluff

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Type 2 diabetics

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Chantelle, I loved you, but you cheated with Johnathan from Church...

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Food and blankets from a nearby shelter.

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why would you thank the KKK because they killed the president

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Knock, knock. Knock, knock. Knock, knock. Guess no ones home.

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What do u call a man with no arms and no legs and is laying in front of a door? Matt

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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