school homewrok

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A duck walks into a over 7-11 and says "Give me some Chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.

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Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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There's my tractor.

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Boss: Do you know what lazy means? Employer: Yes, adopting a child.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Hatch. Hatch who? God bless you.

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Q. How many pancakes can fit in a dog house? A. 0. Penguins don't like icecream.

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What's worse then finding a finger in your Chili? Getting Mollested by a Pterodactyl.

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No it isn't.

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Why did the stop sign run a red light? Because it couldn't see its face...

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What do you pull when it's hailing. Your favorite electronic.

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. No. A nun with a terrible nosebleed. Nobody ever reads the whole newspaper.

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Your mom is so fat she is larger then the average person.

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Why did the asian fall over? He had a heart attack.

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Did you hear the one about the spoon and the dis running away while the cow jumped over the moon, IMPOSSIBLE! eating material such as the spoon and dish are inanimate objects, and cows cant jump for they weigh from 600 to 1000 lbs.

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So two cannibals are eating a clown. Cannibal one: Does this taste funny to you? Cannibal two: Considering that this man was a clown he must have been in poverty so he resulted to being an alcoholic and maybe over dosed on over the counter drugs. Cannibal one: Thank you for that reasonable answer.

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Why did the chicken die? Because it was crossing a busy road.

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whats funnier then a joke on anit jokes pracitcally anything cause anti jokes repaeats and everyone has herd them

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Why weren't the two gays invited to the office party? Because there is no office party until december, therefor no one was invited.

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What's the difference between a man and a woman? The latter has two additional letters added to the beginning.

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What is worse than having sex with a dead baby in front of it's mother? Not a lot.

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What did the twin towers get at the pizza place? 2 planes

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If Jonny has 300 pies and eats 299 pies what is left for Jonny? DIABETES

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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