What happened to the man who jumped into a puddle? He contracted hypothermia due to the low temperatures of the water. He died the next day.

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This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them. "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispers, "You know that blowjob I promised you? Well, here it comes..."

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How do you kill the President of the United States? Your name has been reported to the authorities.

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That awkward moment when you walk in on your economics teacher shagging Danii ... Anyone ?

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We live in a world.... Yeah its called Earth.

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What's the difference between an anti-joke and a joke? The anti-Joke isn't a freaking joke. So stop freaking doing it!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have condoms, But we didn't use them with you. You were DP'd, Now you have STD.

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Hey I just met? you and this is crazy I have alzheimers Hey I just met you

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My name is Jeff

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What do you call an giraffe? Well, you should probably call it a giraffe if you want people to think you are literate and know your grammar.

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What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? Nothing, it didn't get stuck in the first place because cows are incapable of climbing trees.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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a duck walks onto a basketball court during a game. The referee sees the bird and blows his whistle crying fowl just as the player was running up to dunk. The confused bird flies away and the referee gets punched by the angry player.

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Can a man reproduce with only one testicle? No because girls don't dig that sh*t

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What's worse than dropping a dollar down the drain? Getting a needle shoved up your penis and it scrapes the insides of your balls open so that all of the sperm pours out of your balls and you are screaming in agony and you can never have children in the future.

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" I can't here you it's too dark!"

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what do you call someone that ran into a wall hurt

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Why did the rabbit cross the road? I don't know, I was asking you.

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Why wasn't Johnny at school today? Because he died in childbirth.

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What's the opposite of Christopher Reeves? Reeves Christopher

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Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Sorry, wrong number.

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what's brown and sticky? a stick.

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What do you call a man named Mark? Mark

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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