8====D~~~~~~

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? People cross roads all the time, each for their own personal reasons. Questioning their motives is generally accepted as being unnecessary, as it is a relatively safe action as log as one is careful and heeds the laws of traffic.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Hey, in case you are around and still wonder how he got out. Anonymous tip from yours truly, if he had remained there, you would all have taken the blame. Just stay away from the deep web, and I wont be forced to come get all of you as well. For a long while I was suspicious that you might have been leaking information regarding me and all of us, but then the rules changed and information regarding Point Zero, subtle hints and such, began spreading, it has been removed, nobody will know what Intel was sold, so yeah, he was a mole, he is no more, for this I am sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what has fore legs and cant fly a cat you idiot

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why do leprechauns laugh when they run through the grass? Because it tickles their nuts.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the chicken cross the road? It is not a sentient animal and is unaware of the dangers it will face.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

a man walked into a bar ouch

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill all his friends and family.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

- Knock Knock!! - whos there? - KGB - KGB wh........... *slap* - vwe vwill ask the questions!!!!!!! - Knock Knock!! - whos there? - KGB - Mom the KGB is here again....... - i dont care just answer the damn door - 5 seconds later nobody answers the door....... u here a crash and all of a sudden big men run in with guns - one comes over and slaps the mother while he continues to say " the KGB vwill vwait for no one!!!!!" - every body in the house is shot and and the KGB goees on to tlive normal lives........ for the KGB

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is blind and deaf, so it wold be near impossible for her to do so without seriously injuring herself or another human being.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

a blond girl walks into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down -24

a horse walks into a bar, hours later it walks out on two legs and the man who saw it all happen couldn't believe his eyes. The man then turns to the bartender and says, "I theenk eye've had enuf, Cut me hoff!"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

-Knock Knock -Come in!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the chicken cross the street? I don't know really

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock knock! Who's there? It's me, Allison. Oh, come in!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

There are two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other "dang, it's really hot in here." Realizing that muffins can not talk the other muffin wakes up to a very hungry man biting his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: what is blue and has no legs A: A crippled boy painted blue

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is up, the color blue and has a face? the sky. there is no face.

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock Knock Whose there? Lemons Lemons who? The fruit

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why do penguins wash their clothes in tide? They don't. As artic-dwelling birds, they don't have access TV or magazines and as such, are impervious to influences via commercials and written advertisements. Also, obvious tuxedo jokes aside, they don't really wear clothes.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

anti jokes aren't always funny on here

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why didn't the plane crash... because of the wight male piloting it

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Hey dude, wanna come with me!!!! Sure, where? ON YOUR FACE!!!!!! -_- ........ok sure why not

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops