Knock knock I don't play games, go away! Knock knock How did you get in my house? Knock knock Stay back I have a weapon! Knock knock What are you!!! Knock knock Oh god, someone please help! Knock knock What do you want, I can give you money. Knock knock Just don't hurt my family, please. Knock knock!!! WHO'S THERE!!! I am.

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Why couldn't Jimmy eat his food? Because I threw a microwave at him

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

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what did the chicken say to the vet? nothing chickens dont talk

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What happened to the cat that fell in the bath? It jumped out feeling cold and embarrassed.

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When Chuck Norris plays Modern Warfare 2, he gets more care packages than Haiti did.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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hey i just met you.... and this might just sound crazy but i have a bad case of short term memory .....were we talking????

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A. Hey.. B. Hi

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vaginas

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Why didn't the 34 year old woman fit into some size 14 jeans? Because she was size 16.

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What did the Englishman say to the Irishman? "I am from England"

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An Italian, a Mexican, and an American all stand in one room. The Italian throws pasta out the window and says "We have too much of this in our country." The Mexican throws a taco out the window and says "We have too much of this in our country." The American throws a burger out the window and says "We have too much of this in our country."

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1)Where do you find a turtle with no legs? 2)Where? 1)Where you left it. 1)... Knock Knock... 2)Who's there? 1)...Not the turtle...

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Holocaust jokes aren't funny

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Two men walked into a bar, the third followed close behind.

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Robin, get in the car.

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Knock knock Who is there Banana Banana who Knock knock Who's there Banana Banana who Knock knock WHO'S THERE orange ...orange who Orange you glad I'm a cop here to tell you your family died in a horrible mask murdering and didn't say bannana again?

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A robot walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "can I get you a drink?" The robot replies, "No, I'm a robot."

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The procrastinators association meeting has been postponed. - Anonymous

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--"Do you like impressions?" -Yeah! --"Why?" ................... --"That was Socr-ates."

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how many babies does it take to paint a wall red? depends on how hard you throw em

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpion. What's worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by two giant scorpions

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i want to meet Dora's parents and ask them why they let that bitch go everywhere

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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