A French man gets into a fight

What does a homeless man eat for Thanksgiving? Half of a big mac he found in the dumpster

Q: How many Jew does it take to change a light bulb? Here is the answer: A: A lightbulb cannot be changed, it either is or isn't. Do you mean replace a burned-out bulb with a new one? Here, in this case, with design, logistics, manufacturing, marketing of just that single bulb- there are many people involved. It could be argued that we all play some small part in the process. ------ Nothing to see here, end of the joke. :)

A Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian walk into a bar, they then sit down and discuss the various political factors driving a wedge between unity, peace, harmony and understaning between their religions. They resolve that despite the differences in religious belief, essentially they are all the same, and want happy existences with family and friends, and that equality and peace between religions should be a prime focus of religious institutions and governments. They then band together to criticize aetheists, who present a much more probable explanation for why the Universe is the way it is. An eavesdropper then mulls over the idea that the various religions represented behind him are willing to debate philosophical standpoints, so long as their monotheistic beliefs are not contradicted.

Roses are Red Violets are Blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

What did the women order for dessert? Pie.

A blind man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at the man for a moment, then asks : - Excuse me, sir. Are you blind ? And the blind man says : - Yes.

How do you fit 10,000,000 jews inside a car? It's not physically possible as no car can carry that many people.

What did the DVD player say when a video tape was put in? You incompatible.

They say Jesus Christ walked on water and that humans are made up of 70% water...... So if I walk on babies, am I 70% Jesus?

A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb? ...You mean, you don't know?

Get in the Batmobile.

What did the victim say to the rapist? If you're gonna rape me, at least let me go get you a condom

Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

why did billy drop his ice cream? he got hit by a plane that a loaf of bread was driving

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Say, "Wake up!"

How do you make a mess? Microwave a baby.

A horse walks into a bar, the bartenders asks "Why the long face?"

Why is Joel so gay and skinny? He was raised by goats with eating disorders.

What do Lincoln, JFK, and Barack Obama all have in common? They were all president of the United States of America and are relatively good people.

Your momma is so dumb that her IQ is 3 standard deviations below that of an average person.

Steve Jobs didn't die. He went to go set up iCLOUD.

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, Fuzzy Wuzzy had cancer.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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