Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he's usually in a good mood.

What did the ghost say to the black man? nothing. He just shot him.

Yo moma so fat, it ain't even funny. Seriously. She is suffering real diabetes! Do you know how that feels? I though so...

Mommy, where do babies come from? In biology, sex is a process of combining and mixing genetic traits, often resulting in the specialization of organisms into a male or female variety (each known as a sex). Sexual reproduction involves combining specialized cells (gametes) to form offspring that inherit traits from both parents. Gametes can be identical in form and function (known as isogametes), but in many cases an asymmetry has evolved such that two sex-specific types of gametes (heterogametes) exist: male gametes are small, motile, and optimized to transport their genetic information over a distance, while female gametes are large, non-motile and contain the nutrients necessary for the early development of the young organism. An organism's sex is defined by the gametes it produces: males produce male gametes (spermatozoa, or sperm) while females produce female gametes (ova, or egg cells); individual organisms which produce both male and female gametes are termed hermaphroditic. Frequently, physical differences are associated with the different sexes of an organism; these sexual dimorphisms can reflect the different reproductive pressures the sexes experience. Thanks mommy

How do you attach a nipple tassle to a purple honey badger? Refridgerator

Have ever seen Helen Keller's house? No. Neither has she.

What's brown and sticky? Human excrement.

Christ is a conspiracy

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 3, according to Mr. Owl

whats the difference between a phone and Helen Keller? you listen to the phone and you smash Helen Keller on the head with a spiked baseball bat

A man walks into a bar and poops his pants. He left because of the embarrassment.

Q: What is the difference between Jimmy and a kite A: Jimmy is higher MR

Friend: Hey dude, you wanna come to my house after school and do some Meth? Other Friend: Nah I dont wanna get scabs all over my skin, disgusting teeth, and im not in the mood for dying early. Im good here.

Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a pool? A: A man with no arms or legs in a pool.

What was Hatsune Miku's last word? bokuwaumaresoshitekizukushosenhitonomanegotodatoshittenaomoutaitsuzukutowanoinochivocaloidtatoesoregakisonkyokuwonazoruomochanarabasoremoiitoketsuinegiwokajirisorawomiageshiruwokobosudakedosoremonakushikizukijinkakusurautanitayorifuanteinakibannomotokaerutokowasudenihaikyominaniwasuresararetatokikokororashikimonogakietebousounohatenimieruowarusekaivocaloid...

Doctor! Doctor! There's a fly in my soup! Gross.

What happened when the chicken crossed the road? He was hit by a bus!

What? I didn't say anything. Yes you did.

One girl said to her friends, "LOL guys wait for me." She ran to a pile of corpses. The girl was about to lose her sanity as she was in denial when her friends had died. She held hands of two of the corpses and smiled and pretended everything was ok.

A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

Why did the boy drop his Ice cream? A terrorist threw a refrigerator at him.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Chicken. Chicken who? That's right.

Like CHUCK NORRIS, CHUCK NORRIS like You !

Doctor Doctor i have a shoe in my braces. I bet it smells haha.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...