Math Quiz! If sally was born on September 18th, 1997, how old will she be on her birthday? Leave your answers on her grave tomorrow.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call a man with leaves on his head? Steve, he's on camouflage training in the Army.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Your Mama's so fat she need some serious medication treating overweight.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why couldnt helen keller drive she was a woman

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Roses-are-red violets-are-blue Justin's-for -me Not-for-u if-by-chance u-take-my-place I'll-grad-fist &-smash-ur-face

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A dog walks into a bar. The bartender was just about to leave, so he takes the dog home with him. He makes found dog signs and posts them around the neighborhood. The owner sees one of the signs and retrieves his pet from the bartender, thanking him for finding his dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why is the deer afraid of the hunter? Because he doesn't want to get shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

You Know what worse than having 10 Kids? Having Eleven

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Did you hear about the new XBOX releasing in Mexico. It's called the XBOX JUAN!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what's the difference between natives and dogs? people enjoy having dogs in their houses

thumb_up thumb_down +113

What happened to the cat that fell in the bath? It jumped out feeling cold and embarrassed.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: Why did Sally fall off the swing? A: How the heck would I know? I don't Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats worse than burning your foot? Getting it eaten off by a cannibal.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

why did the bird fall out of the tree? Earth's Gravitational pull

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats worse than a pile of dead babies? A live on at the bottom.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

have you seen Stevie wonders car? No Neither has he

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are white, Violets are white, holy shit i can see the light.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did Susie fall off the swing Because she had no arms. Knock knock... Whose there... Not Susie Why did the plane crash Susie was flying it

thumb_up thumb_down +38

I swear to god it wasnt me Dont swear to go its a sin !

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why couldn't the surgeon perform surgery? Because he was in court being sued due to the fact that he administered too much anesthesia to a patient, who later died of overdose..

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Did you hear about the Polish submarine? It was one of five in the Polish Navy.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Two Jews walk into a bar. They have a lengthy discussion regarding the hardships their people have suffered throughout history. Eventually, the subject changes to which coffee franchise has the best blend. A clear, concise decision is never reached. They then are asked to leave the bar, as they have not ordered any drinks and the bar is for paying customers only.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops