Why couldn't Stephen Hawking run a marathon? He was struck by a very serious disease, otherwise known as refrigerator to the face, at the age of 5.

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Why did the woman fall off the skateboard? She hit a rock.

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Ich bin nicht der Anführer

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Yo mama is so fat that she has to eat low calorie foods because she wants to lose weight.

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Roses are red, violets are blue and the sun is very hot

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the other day i was walking down the street and saw a black man carrying a tv. i thought to myself, "hey that looks like mine!" but then i was like nawwwwwww, mine's at home...... shining my shoes -_-

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a sabertooth walks into a club. the caveman set his trap perfectly.

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A horse walks into a bar. The waiter asks: 'Why the long face?' The horse, not understanding English, takes a crap on the floor and walks out.

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Q: What do you call 10 babies at the bottom of the ocean? A: Dead

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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what do you call a farm without animals a house with a big yard

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your birth certificate was an apology letter from the condom factory

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender says, "Why the long face?" and the horse says, "I have cancer."

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What's straight and famous. Ryan Secrest I was just kidding about the stright

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Q: What are the best kind of jokes? A: The funny ones.

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Knock knock! I'm in the shower, i'll be there in 5 minutes

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News:Little boy found dead in old man's white van. Turns out the old man goes to the store and when he comes back the little boy chokes on an apple.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" The horse says "i have aids."

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What happened to the man who posted yet another repeated joke on anti joke? Nothing. He posted an old joke that everyone has seen a form of already.

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Why weren't there any black people at the book sale? Black people don't read.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is both blind and deaf, and doing so would put others in danger.

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Why did the alcoholic stumble into a bar? Because he was bleeding profusely and was desperately seeking a telephone to contact the nearest hospital.

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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