If you say "Hi" to every tree you pass, is that being environmentally friendly?

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An Antihumorous Story Part One A rich man named Richard told his son James that he could have anything in the world for his thirteenth birthday. James only asked for one thing: a silver box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. So Richard gave him a metal box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. Five years later, Richard heard a strange noise coming from James' room. It was the sound of a machine whirring, then a high pitched scream. All of a sudden, James bursted out of his room and ran out of the house. Later, the boy could not recall the incident. It was completely erased from his memory. For his eighteenth birthday, James asked for a golden box containing 785 pink ping balls. So it was granted him. For the next ten years, Richard kept a careful eye on his son. Every night, James could be heard whispering madly, "It's almost ready," over and over. For his twenty-eighth birthday, James asked for a simple wooden box that had one million pink ping pong balls inside. "What do you need all those pink ping pong balls for?" Richard finally asked. James froze, fiddling with something in the pocket of his jacket. "Oh yes, that. They were necessary for--" Then he got hit by a bus.

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what do you get if you cross a motorway with a wheel barrow? Arrested as a wheelbarrow is not a motorised vehicle, or even a vehicle at all and therefore it is an offence to cross the motorway with it, actually it is probably an offence to cross a motorway with anything now that I come to think of it

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Leo! Leo get over here before i abuse you. Okay, im going to my whip.

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why did Sally fall off of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there?

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A kid walks into a bar. The bartender promptly calls child protective services and the child is placed in a caring foster home.

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What's sad about a pile of dead people? They didn't have life insurance.

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OBAMA

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What do you call a bathtub full of dead babies? A tragedy.

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all stranded on a desert island for a few weeks. They get to know each other really well.

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Why does ISIS want guns? Because they wanted to kill. Duh.

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Whats blue, green and red, and runs trough the strees each sunday? ...What? I have no idea, I was hoping you did.

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What did the dog say to his own poop? You gonna eat that?

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what do u call a black person by his name

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What did one eye say to the other? Nothing. Because eye's can't talk.

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Arsonist: Hey, did you listen to my mixtape? ... It's really good.

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What has three legs and herpes? A male prostitute.

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What did one hostage say to the other hostage? Hrmfhrmfphmfr

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A Blonde, a Brunette, and a Red head walk into a bar They are friends from school and have not seen each other in 15 years; they are hoping to have a good night out

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Chickens are raised on farms, which are away from society. They are taken care of in pens, and have no way of escaping. Therefore it couldn't have crossed any roads.

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How do you prevent a baby from crawling all over the place? You nail his hands to the floor

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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How did the mecanic die? He drowned

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Why did the man with no legs go into the shoe store?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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