A: I accidentally shot my sister with a rifle! B: you don't have a sister? A: exactly

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Knock knock? Who's there? Not Schrodinger's cat, or is it?

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Your mom is so fat because she ate her emotions when your dad walked out, not to mention her history of bulimia as a teenager.

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You wanna hear a JOKE !?? Justin Bieber has a DICK !!

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what do you call a 40 year old man working at a burger king that dropped out of highschool dyslexic

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A man is walking on the beach and discovers a lamp in the sand. He takes it home to polish it. Eventually it looks like new and he gets a fairly reasonable price from an antique shop.

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what do you get when you give an eevee a french stone? Napoleon!!!

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What scares little children and befriends their parents? A clown

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poo poo you you doo doo too too

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What did the boy with Aids pray for? A gun

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So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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Why can't Abraham Lincoln tell a lie? Because he's dead.

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Q: where was Johnny during the bombing? A: everywhere

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Knock Knock Whos There? I'p I'p who? HAHAHAHA

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Arms and legs, NOT GET IN MY MINIVAN!

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Whats black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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What is the difference between Barack Obama and Simba from the Lion King? One is a cartoon character from a beloved Disney classic and the other is the current President of the United States of America.

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What does the composer Berg lack? Schoen.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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How do you make a baby cry ? Throw a brick at his face

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what did the penguin use as a napkin? a napkin

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Q: What do you call a fly with no wings. A: Dying.

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What did the podiatrist say to the proctologist? That athletes foot fungus is clearing up nicely.

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Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He died Why did the other boy fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first Why did the third boy fall out of the tree? Prepressure

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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