I like to slap biitches, I like to slap hoes

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Gotta go Fast Gotta go Faster Faster Fasterfasterfaster! Moving at the speed of sound I'm the quickest hedgehog around Got ourselves a situation Start getting a new location Without any explanation On top of relaxation! Go- Go- Go- Don't blink Don't think Just Go go go go G-g-g-g-go go! Sonic, he's on the run Sonic, he's number one Sonic, he's coming next so watch out for Sonic X! Gotta go fast, gotta go faster faster faster fasterfasterfaster Go go go go go go go go go! Sooooniiiiic X!!

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roses are red violets are blue i have deep vein thrombosis .... perpendicular albatross

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What is big, hard, and bushy? My Penis. I lied about it being bushy.

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What did the hispanic say to the black guy? I'm not sure. I wasn't listening because eavesdropping is rude.

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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Why did blink-182 get a record deal? Because they play quality punk rock.

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The First National Tree Bank just closed down. Don't worry it started a brand new branch.

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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Why was the boy sad? He had just been in a terrible car accident in which he witnessed his entire family die painful, violent deaths, thus he suffered survivor's guilt. Also he dropped his ice cream.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

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Darude- Sandstorm

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom? Magic.

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you know what time it is? Because I don't wanna be late for class and if you told the time, it will surely help me because I'll be able to arrive early at my class not to mention it would greatly improve my punctuality efforts to help me pass the class this semester. Geez, I remember back in middle school there was a guy name Billy Jones and he used to always be late for class. His name was Billy but we called him Bill. Bill was his nickname but his real name was Billy. Anyways, he was always late for class because he would always make the best barbecue ribs in town.... (45 minutes later...) ....and I told Bill, "Man, if you were to just ask what time it was it would greatly help you in arriving to class early." And he was was like "I know but..."And then I cut him off and I said "But nothing. I don't care what kind of barbecue ribs you make, you just can't do that." So there I was, me and him, sitting down and .... (3 hours later...) ...it was awesome. Boy, I remember back in the early 90's when I was at elementary school, it was a stormy weather and we had to go to class. That's when I met Clarissa. She was a really nice girl and I remember there was a time when... (to be continued....)

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A man in a state penitentiary drops his soap. He then picks it up and continues his shower.

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What is Hitler's least favorite month? July...

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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Why did Bruno Mars explode? He caught a grenade for ya.

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Why was the black man eating fried chicken and watermelon? He was at home

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why do bananas wear sunscreen? becuase they peel!

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What's the difference between two elephants? One is dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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A:what happens when you throw a black guy down from a sky-scraper Q:he dies

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yo mama is so fat that a kid said to her ' The White Buddha Has Returned'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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