How many dead babies does it take to fill up a car? Dead babies should be reported to the police and not be stuffed into cars.

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A guy walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.

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How do you tell when your dog is dead? I don't know. I never had a dog and my parents beat me.

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A guy walks into a bar, unfortunately for him, he walked in on a huge bar fight and managed to get the hell knocked out of him as he entered the door.

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There is more than one way to skin a cat. I used a potato skin peeler.

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Two blondes walk into a bar, but they are then puzzled as the door would not budge open for them.

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and says to the man nothing. Because It's a duck.

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What is about the size of a sausage, flesh-colored and looks like a penis, if you illuminate it with a flashlight on monday nights? - a penis.

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What's the difference between katchup and musterd A very long list of things that I don't want to read

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why do women rip you off? Because they like money

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whats dirtier than lady gaga's penis in justin bieber's vagina? nothing.

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Ju... Just why?

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A serial killer walks into a bar... He is finally arrested after killing several people within the bar, goes to court, and it was decided that he is suffering from a rare case of maddening schizophrenia, and sent indefinitely to a mental hospital...

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Yo mama is so fat that she has to eat salad instead of sandwiches because she wants to lose weight by going on a no-carb diet.

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what's red and smells like water? Red food-coloured water.

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Want to hear a joke? No.

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Why couldn't the Asian drive? He was blind

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Did you know that Helen Keller had a swing set? neither did she.

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Q: What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A: Nothing, they never met! :)

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A chicken crossed the road. It was run over before reaching the other side. by fast asleep

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Why did the Asian woman drive 20mph on the highway? There was a deadly car accident with many fatalities.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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