What time is it? Actually, that sentence is grammatically wrong: what is IT?

What do you call a boy with no arms or legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

Knock knock. Who's there? Never mind that. I have a gun and your child. Come out with all your valuables and he won't get hurt.

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? where's my tractor?

The grass is always greener on the side that uses manure and fertilizer daily.

The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

there once was a man from Nantucket. He was a fisherman.

A Muslim man gets onto a transatlantic airliner. All the other passengers are privately nervous, but no one mentions it.

Whats the difference between platinum blondes? Absolutley nothing they all look exactly the same.

How do you save a black person from drowning? Take your foot off his head.

A redhead walks into a bar and goes to the restroom. She needed to pee.

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? ?? She had just prepared her breakfast and was late for her full-time job as a police officer.

How do you shock a child? Attach a metal pole to them while there is a storm

Did you hear about the three Arabs that hijacked a plane? They drove it into the Pentagon.

What's worse than finding out you have aids? Nothing. Actually I lied. It would suck being an illegal immigrant.

What killed the dinosaurs? THE ROCKET POWERED FIST!!!

knock knock Get off my porch I've already called the police.

Stand back, I don't want to hit anyone with the axe.

A priest, a rabbi and Santa walk into a bar. that's a highly coincidental situation.

What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

What's worse than find ten babies in a trash can? Find a baby in ten trash cans.

I got a joke for ya. George W. Bush was our president. He is a joke, but no one is laughing.

-What's funnier than a dog with no legs? -The movie Dumb and Dumber, in my opinion.

Student: May i go to the toilet? Teacher: What for? Student: To open the chamber of secrets!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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