What did Hitler say to Obama Nothing because Hitler is dead.

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Andy: Mom, I wish I was a dinosaur. Mom: Aw, that's cute! Why? Andy: Because dinosaurs do not suffer from terminal pancreatic cancer.

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(To the tune of Perry the Platypus) He's a completely retarded Allosaurus of action! A purple dopey dimwit who always giggles away! He never does anything But children's songs he does sing And the little kids squeal whenever they hear him say... *i love you, you love me* He's Barney! Barney the Dinosaur!

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what class did Jimmy get an A in? None, he is dyslexic

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What did one Pokemon say to the other pokemon? We are fake.

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Q. Why did Sally fall off the swing? A. Because she had no arms Q. What smells like red paint and is blue? A. Blue Paint Knock Knock? Who's There NOT SALLY

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

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How do u get a baby to stop choking? Take ur c*ck out if its mouth!!!

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What did your mother say after I beat her? Nothing, because she was dead.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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what did the green grape say to the purple grape? i'm green.

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She was so hot every guy instantly jizzed upon seeing her. Even seeing her fingernails gave boners to thousands of people. Poor thing never had sex, no one could hold it in until they started. Maybe only Chuck Norris.

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What did the Nazi say to the Jew? Hello.

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A gay kid and a group of his friends are at the park. Gay: hey can you do a cartwheel? Girl: helllll no! Gay: Are you straight? Girl: Yah? Gay: Im gay and i can do one.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? I don't cum on my watermelon before I eat it.

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Why did the chicken have a sore neck? Because the farmer cut the chicken's head off, and the body ran around for three minutes until it finally bled to death.

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What do you feel inside after eating an entire class of pre-schoolers? A stomach ache

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Sex

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How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None...they can cook in the dark.

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This is an inappropriate joke and is meant to make you laugh

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

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Q. How do you wake up a sleeping rich man? A. By splashing acid in his face

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the mountains? A: Bear food.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Less than you cuz your fat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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