why did the monkey fall out of a tree?? a snail threw a refridgerator at him

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Sometimes I stare at a Frisbee and wonder why it is getting bigger. Then, it hits me.

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ONE DAY THE SKY OPENS AND SUDDENLY Gad: Jews, you are my chosen people! Jews: YAY! GODS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA BATHE IN RICHES AND YOU WILL COMMAND US TO RAID AND RAPE LANDS! FOR OURSELVES! AND EVERYTHING! Gad: Eh... Well, actually I was thinking more like... Jews: YAY WE ARE GONNA CONQUER THE WORLD! GAD IS WITH US NAO! Right Gay? I mean Gad... Cough... Gad: Err, well *cough* suuure, I mean... Jews: YAY! WE ARE GADS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA GET MIGHTY! Moral: "You do not want to be "Gods chosen" people!" Btw, you telling me Jewsus was not a Jew? Hmm?

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yo mama soooooooooooo fat that she should be concerned of the incressed risk of dibties

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens have no sense of direction, he might have thought he was in wal-mart for all I care.

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why did the kid fall down the stairs? he had polio

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Roses are red, Violets are not blue, they're violet, which is why they're called violets.

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Why was Jane absent from school today? Because she got mugged on her way there, and soon after was hit by a passing bus.

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Why did the little girl fall of the swingset. She got kidnapt and raped by a giant scorpion.

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Did you hear about the guys who were going to France? Well they are not going anymore.

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What do people and jelly beans have in common? Nothing. One is a living creature, and the other is a tasty treat.

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A blonde walks into a drycleaning store 2 pick up her clothes and as she walks out the empoyee says cum again and the blonde says shut up it was toothpast this time!!!!

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How do you acquire a bomb? Go to the bomb store.

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-What do you call a pyromaniac on a golf course? *** I backed over your cat. -A FIREHAZ- wait what?

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wioFUrwny1c

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What is the difference between green and desert sage? About 20 bucks a gallon.

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Titanic with will smith. Girl: I wont ever let go of you. Leo: Drowns. Smith: Move your fat ass over girl, there is like room for me and fifthy kids there yo! Me: Bitch if you need to float on a piece of wood where six of us could fit, im gonna drown you.

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What did Jesus say to Moses? Jesus isn't real. Moses replied, "Do you think I'm stupid? I'm talking to him!"

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what did God say when He saw a black man? Oops I urnt one.

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What happed to the kid who survived cancer? He got hit by a plain.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends. How hard can you throw?

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Knock Knock Come in! :)

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What did Abe Lincoln say after a 3 day drunk? "I set WHO free?"

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What's the difference between Hitler and Kim Jong Il? Hitler's German

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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