There were a dog and a cat in a family house. The dog turned to the cat and said .. nothing because a dog can not speech the human language.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? No one OK???? BYE, BYE U still there? Yeah Umm . . . ?

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Why did captain hook die? He wiped asss

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My mother got hammered last night. We cried at her funeral.

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A turtle and a rabbit are having a race. The rabbit goes really fast and sees the turtle so far away. So the rabbit takes a short nap and waits for the turtle for a little challenge. Suddenly the rabbit wakes up and sees the turtle about to cross the finish line. The rabbit runs as fast as he can, but it was too late. A bus runs them over and they both die.

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What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

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What's the last thing to go through a flys head when it hits your windshield? Its ass.

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Why arent guys and girls the same? Cause there different

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Why did the horse insult the postage stamp? He didn't. Horses can not speak English nor can anything verbally or physically critique a postage stamp and make it feel any emotional distress.

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whats worst then geting a used condom put in your mouth geting wraped by mario then lugi

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So there's this girl who really wanted red socks. She goes to the store, socks are $2. Well, that sucks, she thinks. I only have $1. So she goes home and asks her mom for a buck. Sure, the mom replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my vacuum cleaner. So the girl fixes the vacuum cleaner, mom giver her the buck. The girl goes to the store, but wait. Socks are $3 now. Girl goes home, asks her dad for a buck. Sure, the dad replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my car. Girl fixes car, dad gives het a buck. Girls goes to store.Well damn, the socks are $4 now. She goes home and asks her brother for a buck. Sure, her brother replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my computer. Girl fixes computer, brother giver her a buck. Girl goes to store and FINALLY buys the socks. She comes home. Mother dead. Vacuum cleaner exploded. For 1 month the girl mourns her mom. Finally she can wear her socks. Ah crap, car accident. After 1 month mourning her dad she can finally wear the socks. Well, turns out she can't. Brother dead cause of exploded computer. After yet another month of mourning, she can FINALLY wear her red socks. So she does. Suddenly the doorbell rings. The girl opens the door and there's a polar bear standing in front of her. What did the polar bear say? WELL NOTHING, BECAUSE POLAR BEARS CANNOT TALK!!!

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what happens when u fall down the stairs? you break your arm.

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what's faster than a jet? a speeding bullet. what's faster than a speeding bullet? light.

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Life gives you lemons you make lemonade. What do you do when life gives you melons... youre skrewed.

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What do you expect from a perverted demon? -nothing less perverted!

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why did John not like his chocolate? It wasn't chocolate it was poop.

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What is it called when your friend tells you that Justin Beiber was laid? Lying.

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What is the difference between you and a brick? A brick gets laid.

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A panda bear walks into a bar. The bartender then alerts the zoo of the whereabouts of their missing panda.

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why do black people have dark skin? because they were born that way

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What's the difference between a muffin and a scone? One's a muffin.

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Why did the yeti make an omlette? To practise making omlettes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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