Yolo is for losers, I have 9 lives...meow

What's the difference between a melon and a baby? You have to cut open the melon before you can eat it

knock knock whos there knock knock whos there knock knock whos there poor billy didnt know that the knocking was just a tree branch and he stayed asking the same question for 21 years

thomas the train walked up to an old man and said nothing. mostly because trains cant walk, and they cant talk.

A man walks into a bar, and spends all his money because he is an alchoholic.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Yarn

Why didn't the Alzheimers patient put on her shoes? She didn't leave the elderly home that day, thus taking away the need to put on shoes.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He farted

Why is josh such a retard Because when he was born a brick fell on his head.

why did the boring girl get ditched she was boring...

What's the difference between a cake and Jews? A cake comes out of the oven.

What do you call cheese that's not yours? STOLEN! You're under arrest.

A rabbi, a priest, and a minister walk into a bar. Unfortunately, the bar was closed due to the poor economy. Luckily there was an Applebee's across the street and they were able to save money with half-priced appetizers.

I couldn't afford haircuts so I purposely contracted cancer

What did the working mother get her son for Christmas? Empty promises.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is blind and deaf, so it wold be near impossible for her to do so without seriously injuring herself or another human being.

What did the girl say when the boy asked her out? Yes.

person 1. Did you here about the black guy who went to college? person 2.no person 1. either have i whats ironic is that they are both black

Why did the Taxi crash? The cab driver was trying to remove the frog stapled to his face.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he needed to go home.

A man was eating a hamburger when a boy came up and took his hamburger. So the got up and went to the counter and orderd another hamburger

Your mama is so fat that when she walks her legs rub against each other

How do you confuse a blonde? put her in a circular room and tell her to stand in the corner

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...