In soviet russia, the cow milks you!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

so i turned on my radio.. so i could like listen to some tunes but like, it wasnt working and then like my best bud leaf was all like dude, thats a toaster.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Your mom is so old she died

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock knock. Who's there? Banana Your parents must have little regard for your social identity because they named you after a tropical fruit. Either that or you are clinically insane. I am concerned; please leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

when the doctor asked him why he was sad andreas replyd i have a small penis and drew and devin keep making me drop the soap

thumb_up thumb_down +145

I can't hear you. I have carrots in my ears.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Knock Knock Who's there? Nobody, you got ding-dong-ditched

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you get when you cross a cantaloupe and a dog? "Melon-choly"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walks in a barn. He lifts his bucket of food and starts feeding his horses.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What is the difference between your mom and a cow? One is a 1,500 pound beast, and one is a human being.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A funny joke: Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a gay, black, Muslim physician? Doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

As far as I know, the day after tomorrow is going to be YOUR lucky day, because you will be tasting sausage for the first time with your lower lips... No seriously, you cant be virgin, you can tell me the truth, you like 24 or something?

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Q:What is the difference between a Blonde and a Ginger? A: Hair Color

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What? Why?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

There is an Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman and they are climbing up a mountain, when they reach the top and decide to climb down again.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

What happened as a result of the bitter terrorist attack? The president began to devise a plan to help the abused child

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why don't you see elephants find in trees? Because most trees can't hold an elephants weight.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why does Gandalf have special powers? Because Dumbledore died.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the boy fail his midterm? he didnt study.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock knock Who's there? The police. Your husband has been killed in an accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Whats long and black and goes around corners? The unemployment line.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is the secret to losing weight? Limb Amputation.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops