What's the difference between dead babies and the holocaust? A lot.

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What do you get when Chuck Norris meets Chuck Norris? A bad joke.

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Q: What did the alcoholic get for his Birthday?\ A: A Jail Sentence

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What did the man say to the homeless child. Where's you parents?

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A man walks into a bar, gets caught in a knife fight, and dies horribly. The funeral was closed casket.

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Person 1: I'm really sleepy. Person 2: Then go to sleep.

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How do you make an egg laugh? You can't. Eggs are inanimate objects which are incapable of emotion, thus laughter.

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Why did the man with no arms, and no legs knock on your door? He can't, he has no arms!

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What did Hitler get his son for Christmas? An Ez-bake oven and a GI Jew

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A priest and a small child enter a bar. The bartender takes his son back from the priest, paying him $30 for his exemplary babysitting services.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs being pulled behind a boat? A: Skip.

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Skrillex.

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A fifteen-year-old walks into a bar. He is told to leave by the tender because of his obvious prepubescent appearance, deeming him far from the legal age of drinking.

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What did the elephant say to the zebra? Nothing, elephants can't talk.

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What starts with 'd' and ends in 'ick'? dick -XH

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I am white, you are black, we can be friends, racism was abolished.

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What did the Orange say to the Apple? Nothing. Both of them are lifeless objects, thus lacking the ability to speak.

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What is big and white, not the moon CC

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The WNBA.

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Why can't black people swim? Cause poop don't float!

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suzy took a bath with bubbles what?......... I'm sure bubbles is a nice guy

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What did the doctor say to the morbidly obese man? "You should get on a diet. It's a surprise you're even alive for so long with such a bad heart" The next day the man dies while eating celery.

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what is the difference between a baby and a book... The book still has a spine

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops