What do you call a black guy with a shotgun? A fine American citizen exercising his 2nd Amendment right.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the little boy get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

So a Jewish Family wakes into a German Pizzeria. They were very satisfied with the service and ended up tipping the waiter 20%

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Wanna hear a joke? The 19th amendment

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why was the student late for class? Because paraplegics can't drive.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder have in common? They're both well known figures who have inspired many.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

-Whats the worst part about being a black jew? -You have to sit in the back of the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What's the best part about having sex with twenty-six year olds? They're of legal age to give consent.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did Suzie fall off the swing set? She has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

When life gives you lemons you squirt them in someones eyes and steal what life gave them.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: why was the cow in the middle of the road? A: because it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +25

The ability to beleive it's butter. Oh shit, wrong site

thumb_up thumb_down +47

how do you kill a jew? inject him/her with gratuitous amounts of cyanide until they cease to have brain function and a pulse.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's the difference between a duck? A toothbrush, because a car only has four doors!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

The man walked into the church and stayed there.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How many Lepers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? People with leprosy should not be doing general house keeping.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

You're mama's SO stupid that when she applied to college, they were happy to help.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

The joke below is absolute shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why was the jew crying? He just found out his newborn baby had twenty minutes to live.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

I like playing in the balls. I like balls.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock Knock. Doors open

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Heheheheh, Good one, you made me laugh, you just made me realize that it was indeed I that said that to you once, and now you are telling me. I know now, I am happy, not because I seek happiness, but because thinking, finding solutions, guiding myself and others, is what makes me happy. I feel like an alien, because my ideals, my solutions hopes and dreams that grow out of a result of my constant thinking, will never be in this world. Yet I also feel human now, because it could have been, humanity could have succeeded...

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What goes 100 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops