Tommy was excited to get a tattoo of a falafel on his wiener. He got skin cancer.

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How did Jesus walk on water? He was Jesus

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Its about rewriting the laws of the universe and nothing less, yes yes theoretically the subconcious has unlimited potential (or at least potential we humans cannot theoretically comprehend nor define). But what if I can use my consciousness to trick my subconsciousness? What if I use the subconsciousness to trick the consciousness into tricking the subconciousness?

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What is brown and sticky? Syrup.

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Q: Why do Indians smell? A: Cause they have noses? Racist.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. Fortunately, the bra was on display in a clothing store and was not actually being worn at the time.

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I will slam your FACE into the BOOK if you don't stay out of MY SPACE

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No, I don't have ADH...- Oh look, a butterfly!!

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why am I a hobo? because I lost my job.

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Why is there a black president? Cause you voted for him. Thanks! Dick.

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No because your face is really f***** up.

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Q: Holy do you get a nun pregnant? A: You have sexual intercourse with her, and have an orgasm inside her body. Also, in vitro fertilization is a viable, albeit expensive, alternative for couples who have difficulty conceiving by standard intercourse.

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Your existance.

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What's worse than falling off your bike? Getting hit by a truck.

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Finding TWO worms in your apple.

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What's the difference between two elephants? One is dead.

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She didnt have any arms

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What would you do if I jumped down your throat when you were talking? That would never happen, as it's impossible to even climb into somebody's mouth.

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Enough with the "whats worse than ... "jokes! They are getting old and have a millon different possible answers. I am aware that this is not a joke but thumbs up if you aggree with.

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roses are red, violets are blue, tom cruise is gay

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I scream. You scream. We all scream.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

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Q: A football coach walks into a bank. Why? A: Because one of his players is suffering from terminal cancer and he needs governmental funding for the team to play the big game against their rivals and to win, in hopes the kid will recover. Q: Why did the football coach go into the bank again? A: To receive more money to find a new running back.

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Did you here about the man who dropped a glass? It broke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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