Ask me if I'm a dinosaur. Are you dinosaur? No.

An anteatter walks into a bar, the bar tender says "hey renee zellweger"

why did the mexican cross the road? to catch its bus on the other side

KNOCK KNOCK who's there? OUCH! what's your door knob made of? nails?

Knock Knock. There was no answer.

What is the difference between a black man and a Chevrolet? They didn't sell Chevrolets in the 1800s.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

you got Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift, and Reese Witherspoon. Which do you think is more succesful

How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

A man walks in to a bar. He was hospitalized and died later that day.

What's worse than this joke? Taking a dump on an airplane as it crashes in to the World Trade Center.

So a baby seal walks into a club...

What's the difference between a black minister and a white priest? Nothing. We are all equal in the eyes of God.

Where do babies come from? My sex dungeon

A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says "Hey, we named a drink after you!". The grasshopper says "What, Dave?"

F Detroit! I'm more of a Bulls fan

fduck

why didnt the black guy die on the bus fire? The fire was in the front of the bus!

What did one pig say to the other pig while sitting in the bathtub? No thanks I already have a typewriter.

Jesus walks int a hotel and places a handful of nails on the counter in front of the innkeeper. He is immediately turned away as the innkeeper understandably does not accept nails as currency.

What's Red, Smells like Blue Paint, What tastes like the sea, and has been doused in the essence of the 80's? If you can come up with something, don't bother; This is a trick question. The space was to give you time to think. Forget your answer.

Me: What as 9595 legs,3500 eyes and 9894 teeth? You: I dont know... Me: Me neither,but its on your leg.

What happened when the ugly girl asked her crush out on a date? He said yes. He found her personality quite attractive

Why did the Hispanic man have no job? Because we are in a recession, and work is hard to come by in this tough economy.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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