keep your eye off me if you dont look at me, how do you know i looked at you? there is a mirror

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A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a bucket of shit? The bucket.

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two goldfish are in a tank they swim around happily and have no consciousness of what is happening because of their short memory.

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"This is what kind of fail class?" "AN EPIC FAIL!"

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i have a christmas tree.

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What does "Ford" stand for? Nothing. It's the name of the company founder, not an acronym.

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Knock, Knock. Who's There? To get to the other side.

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What is black, white and hungry? A woman with a rare skin disorder known as Vitiligo which causes discolourtion of the skins pigment in patches; who is hungry.

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knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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a jewish man with a boner walks into a wall what does he hit first his cheek due to the fact he was looking at an attractive woman

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, this is stupid, Violets are purple Violets are purple Oranges are orange Nothin' rhymes with orange wait.... DOORHINGE!!!!! -sincerely, That famous Orange on YouTube

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What's invisible? A lot of stuff.

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Why wouldn't anyone want Helen Kellers dog? It's been buried for a long time...

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what did the ugly girl get on valentines? A paper bag

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Why was the ginger crying? Because they used him as the fire hydrant.

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Why did the black guy flunk out of school? Because his socio-economic conditions and his lack of support from his parents didn't provide optimal learning conditions.

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Knock Knock? whos there? The man at the door then finds himself thinking what his last name is as he lately got amnesia

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Why did the man feel like he was flying? Because he had just committed suicide by jumping off of a tall building.

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What's short, white, and is sick and tired of your shit? A toilet. What's white and killed Elvis? Also a toilet.

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whats the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? babies aren't fruit.

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What is stupid? I would say you but these jokes are worse.

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An asian, black man and a white guy are stranded in a desert with no food and no water, so what do they do Die

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Your mother is so succsessfull that she can have any job she wants, she is probally going to stick with her current job though, She is a lawyer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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